Okay this was the last of everything I have written. Updates will be slower from now on. Bioware owns all.
Ch. 10 Into the Fade
After the nights events, they leave the room in the morning and head over to knock on Isabela's, but she does not answer. "Where could she have gone this early?"
"Probably hiding. We'll come back later or check her ship. In the meantime we can get your condition taken care of then maybe we can find work?"
"When you say condition, it makes me sound diseased... Yeah we can check the Chantry board… or you can?" He rolls his eyes at her, "Yes all in a day's work in being with the company of a mage." She sticks her tongue out at him, "I'll let that slide seeing you didn't refer to me as mage grinding your teeth together like you were trying to sharpen your sword with them." He ignores her as they walk back out into the streets.
"Oh first I wanted to head over to alienage. I think they will need help getting things back to order. Some Tevinters might still be lingering too," Hawke speaks out of the blue.
"Leave it be, they do not need our services."
"But… Hey you just don't want to go in there, because of what it is!"
"Hawke we should find the estate first. I am worried about you…" She stops to face him, "Don't even think about playing that card so I will feel guilty and cave in; I'm not falling for it. You're not going to weasel your way out of this, so stop prolonging and get it over with. I know it's hard for you to get off your high horse and converse with us lesser mortals, but it's a good thing to take the time to understand others and their plights. Now grow up; you're acting like a spoiled child."
"Yes and there was nothing childish about your senseless rambling." He grits his teeth as her boot lands on his foot. She smiles proudly and growls at her; if only they didn't have so many others around, she would regret that later behind closed doors.
His hand now snatches her lower arm firm, but gently and he leads her off with him.
"Fenris let go right now!" She didn't have a say anymore. "No!"
"I find myself having this revulsion for how you constantly say the word no!"
"Why, because that means you are not getting your way? Who is the spoiled child now Hawke?" She lets out a frustrated cry before a guard stops him, "Unhand the lady elf."
"See two to one! Now stop being such a colossal prig!" She was not getting her way, not after subjecting him all to this, "I know this seems uncalled for, but my mistress is having quite the tantrum and is going to be late for the meeting at Arl Eamon's estate; they will be most upset. Could you please point me in the quickest direction? I have become lost chasing after her."
"Oh this must be about the upcoming Landsmeet. It's straight over that way; you should really work on your sense of direction."
"Thank you good sir," His smirk reaches over to Hawke as she gasps out in irritation while the guard leaves them. "Andraste's ass! You lying piece of…. I can't believe you!"
"Come on mistress, don't want to keep them waiting," He tugs her forward. "You should be quiet and let go of me or you will be sorry!"
He scoffs, "Does it count that I'm sorry I find your empty threats precious?" When would he ever be intimidated by her?
A feathery touch then traces down the rim of his ear and his blood rushes to an area he wished it not to go right now. "I told you," she giggles and runs off toward the estate now free due to the distraction. She was digging herself into a hole she may not find her way out of at this rate.
They enter a large open courtyard area away from the market streets and several entrances to the estate surround them.
"So what now? Just pick a door, knock on it and say a random Grey Warden we had only known for five minutes said we could swing by to have my blood seal lifted? That will certainly go over well," Hawke looks to the door just ahead of them.
"If you can keep your mouth closed for just a minute, I can get us inside with no problems for once. Your acerbity will win no one over."
"Oh did you just learn that now? Bloody charlatan!" She raises a clinched fist, but holds herself back; this was going to be too long of a day for him.
He knocks on the door and a servant elf answers for them, typical…
"We were not told to expect visitors. What purpose do you come here for," The elven woman questions as they step inside and she closes the door behind them.
"We were asked to come by for matters dealing with Elissa Cousland. Is she in?" Fenris speaks politely, but that elven woman seems on edge as she stares at their weapons. "Someone help! There are assassins here for the Grey Warden! She runs off and Hawke shouts, "Nice silver tongue you have there!" They go for the door, but acid is spits past Hawke and blocks her hands from the knob.
"We cannot allow you to leave if you threaten the Warden!" They turn back to face a wave of people enter the room and they both have to jump out of the way as a giant spider leaps toward them, directing it's attack toward Hawke. Fenris is forced to unsheathe his sword as a Qunari charges him and crashing his sword down over him, only for Fenris to shove him off with his own. A rocky fist seems to come out of nowhere and slams into his chest plate, sending his back smashing against the stone wall.
"Fenris!" She uses the spider to propel herself up over it and land back over next to him, swiftly helping him stagger back up and moving into a defensive stance. A woman with light red hair and pale blue eyes steps out among the crowd now surrounding them, "Who sent you, was it Loghain?"
"Leliana?" Hawke speaks to the woman with furrowed brows as if she is trying to familiarize her.
"Marian, is that really you?" She smiles, recognizing Hawke and Fenris is left wondering who Marian is.
Hawke walks forward and the two women hug each other. "I almost didn't recognize you; your hair has grown so long and pretty."
"So we have resorted to cuddling and swapping hair secrets with the enemy," A woman with dark makeup speaks from behind them, now replacing the large spider that was once there.
"Ah I didn't know you both were after the Warden too, we could have teamed up together. Ha, but I jest!" The others in the group glare at the maker of that voice and Fenris swears in his mind. Out of all the places, they would run into him again. Hawke and the woman cease their friendly embrace and she asks Hawke, "I'm glad you are safe, but why are you here? Where is your family at? Lothering was destroyed not long after I left, don't tell me they…"
"I don't know; I was taken away from them by slavers while we fled. I was all the way to the Antiva before I escaped and only just arrived back here."
"I'm so sorry darling; I'll do whatever I can to help you."
"And now we sympathize with the enemy. Tis a sad day when you lose all hope in the ones you fight with," the snarky woman waves her hands exasperated and Fenris speaks up, "Hawke, perhaps we should enlighten them first on why we are actually here, before you start to prattle with your friend."
"Then I assume that charming personality didn't win over the house servant," the elven assassin states as he steps forward.
"Yes you know how Fenris can be... We are not here to hurt her honest I just wanted to ask for her help. That older woman, Wynne I think said someone named Morrigan can assist me with a problem I have."
"I would be that Morrigan you speak of and this problem you referred is the blood magic's hold over you. Am I accurate?" Hawke nods.
"Then you will help her won't you Morrigan?" Leliana turns to her.
"I hardly trust your judgment of these strangers, how would we know this is not an elaborate scheme masked by false pretense. Rest assured I could lift it, but what is keeping her from running amok and casting spells our way? A seal bestowed upon her of that degree would not befall without good reason."
"That is cheap talk coming from you mage! What right do you have to make this assumption of her and decide what consequence she deserves!? We could say the same of you!" Fenris did not like another mage accusing Hawke of abusing her power the slightest.
"Finally the elf bares his fangs. How long before he decides to use them I wonder?"
Hawke elbows Fenris, "You're not helping."
"That is not the result she demands," A Qunari in the group tells her. "And how would you know tis true?"
"I have spoken with her on many occasions during my incarceration in Lothering, much to my annoyance at times. The path she seeks serves the purpose of salvation. It is a selfless notion when under constant threat from within, she is not someone to mishandle it as you suggest. I agree with this elf, you are not Arvaarad, you do not leash her nor conclude how she should be controlled,"
"Sten! You remembered me!" Hawke exclaims happily… does she know all these people? He notices a Golem lurking in the back and an eyebrow raises. He hopes not.
"Even still, that does not convince me that she will not choose to use it on us or the Warden."
"Does it count that she had the chance to kill me and she didn't just like the Warden? That should say something in of itself. You may want to know she is no less deadly with her weapons or her hands so worry can be placed elsewhere," Zevran defends her. "I fully agree…," Fenris adds.
"This is true; I taught her everything I know," Leliana exclaims and Fenris turns to Hawke. She looks so happy and he would smile if he wasn't currently so frustrated. It is nice knowing she had found pieces of her stolen past.
The mage turns back to the rock golem, "Well since everyone else has made their input, what say you?"
"They aren't pigeons, thus can only be so bad. It is a tiny, feeble human; I wouldn't see it as much of an obstacle to overcome given our history. Does the swamp witch fear this woman all that much?"
"Since when have golems been able to talk!?" Hawke gets closer to Fenris.
"Since I happened… Is it convinced enough? If not I do not mind, the lyrium elf made a nice squishy noise when it hit the wall." Fenris lets out a low grumble, that hurt like hell and now his armor was dented.
"I suppose that will do, my head will only ache more if this endures. Follow me I will prepare the ritual for you," They both follow Morrigan, but she stops them, "Just her, I don't want any interferences."
"I will not leave her side. I can tell you are no ordinary mage. Whether blood mage or something else I have yet to determine."
"How wonderful, here we go again with the tables turned."
Hawke clenches Fenris arm to get his attention, "It is okay. You may not trust her, because 'she's a mage', but I do."
"That just makes it worse, you place faith in others too easily," he disputes. She lets him go, "I find her drive to watch out for the Warden and her other friends very admirable. She is going out of her way to help a complete stranger, so the least you could do is stop being such a grouch and thankful instead. This isn't Tevinter, not everyone is out to get you. I wasn't remember; however if you are afraid I may change if I get this removed, then I will keep it."
Was she serious? He forgets the surroundings for a moment and rests his palm on her cheeks, "No Hawke, I was the one who dragged you over here to be rid of it. I do not fear you and I never will. What more do I need to do for you to understand that?" Her cheeks warm up and redden beneath his hands and she opens her mouth to say something, but the words never get the chance to leave her.
"I can think of a few things for you to perform my friend or given by this love in the air; those desires have already been fulfilled." The moment is ruined and Fenris turns a glare back to the other elf. He really hated that guy.
"Can we proceed before I become deathly ill and spew my lunch to the ground below us?"
"Yes, we should go now," she says abruptly and follows the woman off.
He is left alone with the group and Zevran steps up and places a hand on his shoulder, "You dog you. So how was it? Did she alleviate you of that tension you carried? You seem far more relaxed."
"If you value your limb, you will remove it or I will," he tells him through gritted teeth. "Come on this is how you would greet a friend? We have been apart months now."
"I told you before we are not friends!" He had to keep reminding himself that he could not kill him.
"So how did you come to know Marian?" Leliana changes the topic. "I assisted her when she was escaping slavers and we have retained this alliance ever since."
"How sweet, you must be very special. She always had a certain repugnance to men touching her. I remember one time she broke a man's hand without thought of doing so. She apologized after the fact when she realized what she did." Hawke had warned him as much when they first met.
"I guess maybe she has an affinity for elves," she smiles and Fenris turns his head away and asks, "How do you know of Hawke and why do you call her Marian?" He knew the latter answer, but he wanted an explanation for why she never told him.
"I took refuge as a lay sister of the Chantry in Lothering for some time. Her appearance is very eye catching and I watched as she was always so helpful to others, but she avoided the Chantry which was strange. It was a small village and everyone would go to the Chantry during those times. I took that chance to get to know her and asked why she wouldn't ever come for at least morning services, but as you know why, she wouldn't tell me. It wasn't until she heard me sing in a tavern, that she asked me to teach her a song and we started to build a sisterly friendship as I taught her the skills I had picked up as a bard. After some time she finally told me she couldn't risk the Templars noticing her and I put two and two together. As for her name, I heard her brother and sister call her that." She giggles, "She said she didn't like it because it sounds too feminine for her. The name Marian hardly strikes fear in the hearts of others."
"So that was you who taught the song to her. I must thank you for that…" He remembers Hawke telling him of the bard.
"Oh she sang for you, that's just too endearing. She has a marvelous voice doesn't she? I can teach her another if you would like me to offer."
He blushes a bit, but answers, "I would."
"Well then if we are to be in each other's company for a while, why don't you tell us your story on how you came to be so angsty," the Antivan asks.
"That is a simple story, because I did not kill a lecherous elf back in Seleny," he is still annoyed, but his mood has lightened. He is worried about Hawke, but Leliana seemed to care for her. If the other mage was a threat to her, then she wouldn't let her go off alone. He had no choice but to put his trust in these strangers; he couldn't stand the fact a blood mage defiled her and he wanted her back to her normal self, to the Hawke these people know. She had to know he trusted her and this is the only way he could think of to prove that.
"Oh I think you were moody before then."
"If you must know I was a slave of a magister in Tevinter. I escaped him however during an attack in Seheron and have been trying to find my way back to him and end his wretched life. If I seem bitter to you, then it is not without good reason."
"You fought in Seheron?" The Qunari draws his attention. "Under the orders of my former master; I barely made it out of their alive. I have also been told I am from there, but I cannot remember."
"I miss it there… After all this time they still refuse to cease this conflict, I pity them. They have grown no closer to victory in the last sixty years."
"Those mages will stop at nothing on their quest for power," Fenris declares severely.
"You and your pointless wars in general will never end. It is an infinite cycle that continues to repeat itself; I have stood through time and watched it. Are your lives really so dull," The golem inputs.
"To some, yes. There is always an excuse to fight, whether justified or not," It feels odd to him talking to a golem to say the least.
"So it says. Why does the lyrium elf carry such scars? I have not come across such a thing in all my time. On anything fleshy that is."
"They are the reason you can do that glowy thing, am I right or did you learn it from somewhere?" Zevran figures he is talking about his markings.
"Glowy thing? What are you talking about Zevran," Leliana inquires.
"If I make him mad enough, he'll begin to glow. I can try again now if you request for me to." Fenris's eyes narrow at Zevran, "No need…" He holds up his arm and it fades into a blue transparent light as they glow travels up the designs, "I did not learn the ability to glow, I gained it when I received these. It was very excruciating if you can imagine."
Leliana takes a step back, "You let someone do that to you?"
"No!" He then calms himself, "They were imposed onto me… I was nothing more than a test subject for the magister's research.
"How curious…. So they moved on to lyrium infused meat suits now. Tell me, does it have a control rod?"
"A control rod?" His eyebrow shoots upward to the golem.
"Yes, golems require one to be controlled by their master. The mage and my control rod no longer function, so does it have one as well?"
"He has a mage controlling his rod alright. I'm sure the mage and his control rod still function just fine though," the cheeky elf butts in. So help him, Fenris's resolve to not kill this elf was diminishing quickly.
"I am under the impression this topic has evaded the line of questioning. Inform me if I am needed, I cannot continue to stay in idle chitchat," the golem walks off and Fenris asks, "You employ a golem?"
"Shale is more or less one of us. Golem or not she is our friend," Leliana laughs a bit.
"The fact that you refer to it being a she disturbs me." She laughs more at his response and Fenris turns to the Qunari, "She called you Sten. So you denote yourself as your title within the Qun?"
"Then you know of the Qun elf?"
"Do you wish for me to recite it? I am capable."
"If you aspire to convert, I am not the one to go to."
"No, I would not sacrifice my freedom for an ideal... Why did you support Hawke before? I have seen the way Qunari treat their mages."
"She is not of the Qun. There would be no honor to deny her request. She must see her affliction to the end whatever fate maybe. If you want my honest answer however, I only knew her for about a month, but that was all the time needed to learn she is adept at holding her own restraints; I need say no more."
"Ataash varim kata," Fenris recalls a saying the Qunari used.
"May she be a prospect the phrase proves true to elf."
"They might be awhile; would you care to wait in a room until they have returned? He nods, so Leliana leads him off as they continue to chat.
"I'm not going to wake up as a toad am I?" Hawke looks down at the cup of liquid she it handed; she had grown tired of downing the stuff and lost count how much she drank.
"And the onslaught of witch jokes ensues, how clever. Tis lyrium and unless you want to awaken with the lack of a usable tongue, then you shall drink it and be done with this banter."
Hawke didn't like the idea of her tongue being thrown into a cauldron for some evil concoction, so she then gulps down the lyrium.
"Now lie down and I will commence. When you regain consciousness, your connection to the fade shall be fully restored. I must caution you during this time, you will be very susceptible to demons. Have you undergone a Harrowing before?"
"No, I haven't."
"This will be the equivalent to one. You know what will happen if you should fail."
"I understand, go ahead. If I do not make it, I accept the repercussion. I will not let my weakness and a demon endanger all of you; do what you must to be rid of me," She closes he eyes as Morrigan uses a sleep spell on her and begins to work.
"You cannot save them alone, you will need help."
Hawke marches unaccompanied up a barren path; dirt kicking up beneath her boots as charred remains smolder around her. This was the path she walked as they fled Lothering from the darkspawn.
"Show yourself demon!"
Instead a familiar feminine shriek is heard and she runs up the path to the sound. Horrified, she sees Bethany lying there motionless at mother's side, while Carver and an unknown woman engage an ogre. Her mother's anguished cries blotting out the resonance of the battle.
Hands are felt clasping her shoulders from behind and a womanly voice echoes, "One has already perished without your aid, how long will you allow this to continue?"
"You lie! How dare you show me this and bring my sister into it this way!" Hawke throws an elbow back, but the desire demon disappears only to reappear before her, "This is no lie, your sister's fate has already been sealed as I have shown you. You will lose your mother and brother as well, unless you invoke my assistance. I can show you the way to them. Or are you afraid of leaving behind your current obligation?"
"That is none of your concern demon! Begone!"
"So be it then… I will show you the future that awaits you." She fades away and so does the scenery along with her.
Shackles bind her wrists overhead as the walls seem to close around her. Her clothes are tattered and she can't tell if blood or sweat flow down her face. Light pours into the room and she tries her best to shield her eyes away from it, before turning to the two figures in the doorway. An older man in robes with a scraggily grey beard is the first to approach her, grabbing her chin, "You do have impeccable tastes and I commend you on that. You must have picked it up from me. I'm honored I made such an everlasting impression on you." He was not speaking to her.
"And a mage of all people, you must see that you were no more than a plaything to her. You are a slave, how could you be anything more to someone?" Her eyes widen as the other presence makes themself known.
"Yes master. I should have never come back to her after I left." That deep voice, those piercing eyes; there was no mistaking the owner.
"I'm glad you agree my little wolf. Let us go shall we? I will decide a fitting retribution for her later." The man steps out and Fenris starts to close the door, never making eye contact with her.
"Fenris wait don't leave! You're not a slave listen to me!" He stops only for a moment, "You are not my master." The door slams to a shut and her soul was crushed with it.
"No this isn't real none of it is!" She shouts out and the desire demon reemerges from a dark corner, "Do you honestly believe he would actually ever grow feelings for you? He will leave you... You are what he hates, he wants you to die and before he will allow that, this façade will be built up so it can lash down at you with such a vengeance. He hasn't forgiven the trickery done to him by you."
"Shut up! I never tricked him!" Her body shakes violently with anger and the demon advances her, "You think you alone can change the hate he feels for mages? How very arrogant of you. I will show what cannot be unchanged by you; not without me."
Everything around her materializes away once more and she now steps up a stoned passage. Screams are heard in the distance and the scent of blood wreaks the air. She doesn't want to follow the cries, but her feet won't seem to listen to her and keep advancing until the deafening shouts lie within the doorway in front of her. They sounded boyish… Whoever was in the room was going through unimaginable pain her thoughts are confirmed as her eyes take the revolting view.
A young elven boy no older than his mid-teens is strapped to a table, blood flowing from open wounds as the older man she knows as being Danarius from before carves into him, like he is just an object and not a living being. This disregard for life is enough to put her over edge on top of the mountain of other things within that she can't stomach. There is so much blood and she wonders how he is even still conscious. Bile rises up in her and she can't bear to watch anymore; this had to end." She runs up to punch the old man to stop him, but a hand grabs her arm, "This is only a memory I resurfaced, you can do so much as to stop this as you could when it actually occurred. Behold what torture he has faced from mages, this is only the beginning. I can help you save him from falling back into this darkness."
Hawke finally lands a punch on the desire demon, "Joining you will only bring me closer to being like that malevolent monster!"
She recovers herself and turns an angry glance to Hawke, "Then you need to witness more…"
The memory's sound and the imagery vanish like before to be replaced with a new antagonizing sight.
Fenris continues to wait tolerantly with the others, but he is becoming more and more unnerved as the time passes. He had no idea what this ritual consisted of and as the clock on the wall ticked by, so did his sanity.
"You'll gain wrinkles if you continue to make that sour face." His eyes shift to a sharp glare at the blond elf, "Spare me that sound of your voice now, it's not reassuring."
"I'm sure she will be back out here with her bouncy, smiley self soon enough. Probably reward you with a smooch for waiting for her too no?" he gives Fenris a cheeky grin as his blood heats to an uncomfortable level, instigating Leliana to giggle and Sten to sigh.
"I find myself growing worried for the Warden and the others too. They have been gone since early this morning. Night will fall soon," Leliana inflates the apprehensive mood.
"Ah they are just getting support together for the Landsmeet; I see no need in distressing over it," Zevran tries to keep the atmosphere uplifted, but Leliana continues, "But tensions are high and this give Loghain all the more reason to strike now."
"Good, all the more reason for her to slit his throat if he makes an appearance," Zevran proclaims and before Fenris can question them, the witch steps in.
"You are the one called Fenris are you not?" Fenris rises from his seat, "What do you need of me?"
"Come with me and be quick about it." She doesn't need to tell him again and he ghosts from the room behind her. "What has happened?" The witch opens a door to answer and he sees Hawke writhing on a bed, the blankets are torn away and left disordered in her struggles. The moment his name leaves her lips, he runs to her side and grabs her hand, "Hawke, I am here! Why is she like this!?"
"She entered the fade so that I could remove the blood magic, but now she has become trapped within by a powerful entity. I have tried all I possess to finish the ritual, but I had underestimated just how strong of a hold was placed onto her. Though she has refused the demon's advances time and time again, it will not let her free. She has been calling out to you, so the only other known way I can think of is to send you in after her; you might be able to reach her. Her power within the fade is still locked from her so she cannot fend off the demon, but you are not."
"Try whatever you want with me; I'll do all I can to bring her back."
"You could end up as her and be imprisoned within or fall victim to the demon's covenants. That is not restricted only to mages," Morrigan cautions him so he will avoid any impulsiveness.
"Send me in. I will not lose her to a demon; whatever befalls me is beyond my concern now." He knows the fade is no place for someone like him to tread, but he would go anywhere her.
"If that is your wish, I will send you to her. There is one last thing however, if she dies in the fade, she will become tranquil," she casts another spell onto him this time and he slowly drifts off.
He recognizes these surroundings; this is Danarius's mansion in Minrathous, but what is he doing here? The witch said she would send him to her, but why would she be here? He suddenly feared the worst, what tricks was this demon pulling?
He runs through the halls, swearing at the fact he remembers the paths to go like he had walked through them yesterday. The day feels horrifyingly conversant to him, the specific smell that waved in the summer air, the certain stillness in the halls that soon bellowed with a memory he shunned into the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind.
He then sees it, his defeated body being dragged by Danarius's soldiers and he walks behind ranting and raving, "You were going to let them kill me weren't you! When I order you to defend me, you don't hesitate! Throw him in there; I will deal with him from now on!" They disappear in the room and his heart drops in his chest. This was the day he hesitated in killing some elven slaves who tried to revolt. He had somehow found himself wanting to join them momentarily after a heart felt plea for him to support them, but in the end, he butchered most of the group. This day was another reminder Danarius gave him that any chance at him contemplating freedom would not be tolerated and any pride he had would be fragmented into millions of pieces by his own hand. Danarius had marred him in the worst way possible then to prove that he is his property and no one else's, not even to Fenris himself.
He rushes over to the room, but instead of beginning aghast at seeing the memory replay all over again, Hawke's tearful eyes taking in the scene as if being forced to watch created a dread no man should ever undergo. His feet never moved so fast before as he runs over hugging her tightly and pushing her head into his chest to shield her away from the display behind them.
She begins to shove him off, "No! Stay away from me demon!"
He moves back to hold her shoulders, "I'm no demon; it is me. The witch sent me into the fade after you. We're getting out of here together Hawke."
She just cries and remains silent so he shakes her a little, "Hawke, look at me! Nothing else is here with us!"
"Tell me this isn't true…Tell me!" She shouts at the top of her lungs, but refuses to submit to his request.
He embraces her and tries to lull her away from the nightmare, whispering into her ear, "I'm real, none of that is… It's all a deception created by a demon. Non fallit te, adsum." He could not admit to it, not now or ever to her. Everything starts to collapse around them and she shouts, seeming to snap out of her almost trance like state from being wrapped up in the dream, "She is coming back! Go, you shouldn't be here! Why did you come here Fenris!?"
"I came here for you Hawke and I am not leaving without you. You and I can best this demon, we shall not falter." She finally looks into his eyes, hers reddened and weary from the psychological torment the demon attacked her with.
"So you finally decided to join us have you?"Fenris keeps Hawke away from the direction of the demon and yells, "There is no us involving you, only Hawke and I! Now why do you keep her confined here, she has refused your offers!? Why did you use me in all this!?"
"I'm just trying to fill the empty void in her heart that you will leave her with, she needed convincing to allow me and yet she still declines to believe me. You have to admit it to her; you will never forgive her for being a mage, not when you have suffered at their hands all your existence."
"You know nothing demon! I will not let you take her from me," he snarls.
"And I will not let you interfere with my possession." She begins to rise in the air conjuring up her power and Fenris takes out his sword. A hand slithers up his arm and he looks down at Hawke, "Please go; this is not your fight. If I am not strong enough to defeat this demon on my own, then I am too hazardous to everyone else."
He will not take that as being valid, "The moment she used me as the tool in trapping you here is the moment it became my fight Hawke. She is taking advantage of the fact you have little to no influence over the fade; you are not freed of the blood magic yet and you are unarmed. I have no doubt in a normal circumstance you would have defeated her long ago and by continuing to resist, you already have proven as much."
"Let me do this Fenris. I always welcome you at my side, but you have to see this is an instance that if you face my difficulty for me, you will not save me. I have to prove to myself that I can do this, because I have you, my family, my friends, and anyone else we encounter to look out for. You being here is enough support for me."
How could he argue back at that? If she had said that she had something to prove to him, it would be different. But as much as he didn't want to, he understood what she felt; she wouldn't feel worthy of living if she couldn't overcome it, even with her current drawbacks.
"Then let me do one thing to assist you," he drops his weapon into her hands and she look back to him. "You have sparred with me and memorized my movements, use this to kill her on my behalf instead since I can't fight with you." Her dazzling smile meets his request, but it is torn away as the demon prepares to attack. He steps back as Hawke gets used to the weight of the sword. She appeared to struggle a bit to hold onto it and it proves true as she rushes the demon and swings awkwardly at it.
The demon lets out a chuckle and easily evades it, "It is valiant you would go so far as to defeat me, but I am not your enemy. Would it help if we contract a deal in this little game you decided to engage with me?"
"I don't want deals with you demon, I want you gone!" Hawke slices at her once more and Fenris smiles; she was already becoming more used to it. The demon barely dodges that time and a frown forms on her face, "Maybe physical pain is what's lacking for you to no longer deny me."
Lightning bolts are hurled toward Hawke and she dives out of the way avoiding them and Fenris becomes edgy. If this demon kills her, she will become tranquil and the thought of Hawke being nothing more than a lifeless husk was out of his scope of comprehension. Thinking of her devoid of all emotions was as frightening as her death to him. To never see her smile again or hear her laugh as she tells her witty comments would distinguish a bright light in the world he now knows.
She maneuvers her way toward the demon, avoiding spell after spell casted and she raises the sword up to hurl it down onto the demon, but she creates a spell shield to block the sword. Hawke keeps trying to force her way through it as the demon drains away her energy.
"Hawke get away, she's draining your strength!" Her lips curl up to express to him she knows and he stares on with earnest. She was planning something, but he couldn't fathom how this could be to her advantage.
"You're making this too easy; if you weaken anymore I will be able to merge with you with or without your consent." Hawke merely derides the demon, "And what would all the other desire demon's say when they learned you could not corrupt me in the normal fashion and had to resort to such crude measures." Hawke's hand begins to glow and the demon hisses, "No you…!"
"Thanks for drawing off that blood magic along with it." Her shield is dismissed and the blade goes slicing through her triggering a scream and flash of light to burst throughout the area, before she falls to the ground and dissipates into nothingness. Hawke drops to her knees as the sword plops down beside her and Fenris kneels down to her.
"How odd, who gets tired while they are asleep," she voices jadedly and he doesn't know what to make of everything. "What just happened here?"
She smiles, gingerly stroking her hand against his cheek. "I let her finish removing my seal; my magic has returned to me, so I dispelled hers. Your sword is really heavy by the way; I think it is best we let only you handle it from now on." He lets a small laugh escape him as their interest is captured elsewhere.
A door appears before them where the demon dissolved away and he takes Hawke's hand, "Let's go back now Hawke." She nods and they both stand to exit the fade.
The haze leaves her sight and fills with the clear view of the world around her. She was back in the large room and Fenris is at her side. "Are you okay Hawke?" His eyes enlarge with concern and she lets out a nervous reply, "I didn't bring back any extra passengers so I would say I am."
"That's not what I mean and you know it," his eyes lock onto hers and she dithers under his gaze.
"My intuition tells me that my tasking is completed. I shall inform the others of your revival before Leliana's heart fails her." Morrigan leaves the room and closes the door to give the pair time alone before Hawke can even thank her.
"Tell me what is on your mind." His hand cups her chin and she tries to elude voicing her fears to him, "You disappointment me, I thought for sure you would finish that question with 'if you'll forgive the overstatement'." She was smarter than to think that would actually steer him off the course he was taking with her.
"I need to know the truth Hawke; this guise will not make things better. Nobis placeat facere nihil metuere." He nuzzles against her as her words the Arcanum so soothingly that she softens and bends to his will.
"What the demon showed me… it wasn't all a lie was it. Those were your actual memories she presented to me." His grip tightens onto her, "Forget what that demon compelled you to watch, it is poison that will slowly eat away at you."
Tears flow down her face, not for herself, but for Fenris. She knew he was an ex-Tevinter slave and he had mentioned a few trials he had undergone, but she had no idea the level of atrocities he could possibly been dealt during that time. Of course he would not flat out say it was all real, it was a piece of his life he would rather leave buried and for good reason; she had no right to uncover it or to even see it in the first place. If that was all true however, it made her start to agonize more about her family. Could that have happened to Bethany? It's best to listen to Fenris; this is what the demon was trying to do to her. She already defeated her, so dwelling on it would be meaningless.
She takes in a deep breath and calms herself; her tears now drying away, "Take off your armor."
"I don't think now is the time for that Hawke," he tries to sound amused, but she can tell he is still bothered as is she. She places a hand on the dint creased in his armor, "I would like to heal it for you; I know you are hurt. That is... if you aren't afraid of my magic."
"I would rather you do it for me." She gives him a lesser smile; he was trying to cheer her up. Her hands move up to remove the straps that hold it together and piece by pieces she sheds it for him. They then move to unclasp the front of his jerkin where the green trim meets to exposes his bare chest to her and the large bruise shows itself forming. "Maker Fenris how can you keep a straight face," she voices her concern at the severity of it.
"I'm used to it I suppose." She runs her hand on it and he flinches slightly, "Try to stay still." Her hand emits a blue light that flows to him, but it quickly ends as he grabs her wrist.
"I'm sorry did I hurt you!?" Fright runs through her, she hasn't used it in so long; did she do something wrong? His eyes widen and he lets go, "No, did I?" She notices the hurt in his eyes reflect from her own and he continues, "I didn't mean to do that, it just triggered old memories for a moment. Usually when I was healed it meant I was tortured for something and I was about to go through it all over again."
"I understand; if you recall I shared similar experiences. I'll stop." Her hand withdraws, but he protests against it, taking her hand and placing it back. "No, I won't react that way with you again. I never felt anything like your magic before, it isn't threatening to me…"
She makes a small nod and her hand emits the faint light again as she ghosts it over the bruise, slowly making it fade away. Once it is visibly gone, the light dims down, "Is the pain gone now?"
"Yes, thank you." Her hand brushes against the area again to be sure he won't react to it.
"Do you have doubts about me Hawke?" He suddenly stirs her and she is at lost for words. "She said that I could never forgive you for being a mage, do you believe that?"
She finds herself burying into him, her body trying to seek out resolve that she did not retain. "I haven't exonerated myself for not being honest with you from the beginning nor the element of being one. After all you have endured and the cynicism you hold toward other mages, I don't know what to believe."
He holds onto her shoulders to move her away so he can sternly look down upon her, "Yes you are a mage, you made that fact evident. I do not trust other mages for outright cause, but I trust you Hawke. Isn't it enough that I have absolved you of that and I understand why you withheld it from me? I dragged you here so you could be free again, to choose whether you use your magic or not. I would have not done so if I thought you were to type to consort with demons and you are perceptibly not. The reason I entered the fade was to help you find your way out, not because I feared that you would give into it. I refused to let it keep you from me a minute longer." His tone is as penetrating as his stare, but was merely to enforce the point across to her. His words were pained however and justifiably, since she was unsure to place the same faith in him or herself. He made it very undeniable that she means a great deal to him, but she still worried he would leave her for what she is.
"You say that, but I still find it difficult that you would be so quick to trust me. How do you know I won't someday turn on you, you don't know me as a mage?" Certainly she would never be able to find it in her to do that to him, but she wanted his sincere answer now and needed to hear him say it. That way any doubt between them that may persist could be thrown out into the open.
"Then let me make it clear to you. Last night it dawned on me that it doesn't affect anything knowing that you are a mage, because I still see you now as I always have. You didn't alter anything about you, but only managed to prove me wrong; I'm now aware not all mages are weak willed and evil. You are far too strong to ever be anything like them and we have been through enough together to convince me of that." His hands caress against her face and he slowly glides closer, "Prohibere conatur ad ventilabis me, suus sero sum iam vestrum."
Fenris… is he about to...
"Smooth one my friend; speaking in tongues is the fastest way to explore hers no doubt."
They quickly separate and Hawke's expression flusters as she faces the assassin leaning against the doorway, while Fenris growls furiously, adjusting his open jerkin.
"Damnit Zev what are you doing in here!?" She tries to calm her nerves, but he stresses them again. "The others were bothered about the occurrences, so I happened to volunteer myself to check on you. I can see now you both are doing more than fine; I can join you if you so desire?"
Hawke chucks a pillow at him, "To the void with you!" He laughs and easily avoids it, "I hardly consider that sufficient enough to get me there."
"Then perhaps I should try." Fenris glows beside her and she rolls her eyes, "Stop taking things so literally Fenris." With them both now standing Leliana is the next to enter the room.
She immediately scurries over to bring Hawke into a smothering hug, "Thank goodness you are alright. I gained a few grey hairs credited to you."
She frees Hawke and she catches her breath, "Yes, sorry about. Hopefully I won't be going through that again. Where is Morrigan, I want to thank her?"
"I'm afraid she went to rest. She drained a lot of her energy for this."
"Then if you don't mind I would like to wait for her and the Warden to return."
"Certainly I would like to have the chance to catch up with you again." The four leave the room and join back up with Sten. Leliana chats with her telling about her adventures with the Grey Warden after she left Lothering. They have had a colorful experience to say the least, but Hawke's wasn't far from it. She takes the time to glance over to Fenris and smiles. He seemed to be having a pleasant conversation with Sten and Zevran, finally getting along with that pesky rogue. It was good to see him making friends.
"That's the seventh time you have looked over to him since we began talking."
"I'm sorry Leliana, I'm listening to everything you say I swear it." Leliana lets out a light giggle and says, "I think it's cute; finally found love have you? It's glorious isn't it to share something so beautiful with another."
"I…that's not..," Hawke stammers as blush creeps up on her cheeks. "You shouldn't be afraid to admit it to me. I know I'm not your actual sister like Bethany, but I'd at least like you to see me as something close to it."
"I wouldn't tell if Bethany if it was true either," she huffs, looking back Fenris's way. "It's just nice seeing him so relaxed for once. I want him to be happy and I feel as though I can't grant him that."
"You think too little of yourself. He's looked over at you more times than you have to him with those big longing eyes."
"He has?" Hawke then notices his eyes dart to her, but as their line of sight meets, he quickly diverts them, "That answers my question then."
"I once traveled with an elf by the name of Sketch some time ago. He was very timid and sort of effeminate, nothing like your elf. He is handsome in his own right, but he seems to be very complex with his emotions. You should be cautious around someone like that, he is outwardly calm, but I have a feeling internally he is unstable," Leliana brings to light her unease.
"I appreciate your concern, but he isn't an animal; he's a man bearing a moral heart that needs guidance with his uncertainties. He is just searching for his place in the world as a free man and I'm trying to help him find it."
"I wasn't implying anything like that, I…"
"You just wanted to make certain I knew what I was getting myself into," Hawke finishes for her.
"So how is he then?" She leans in a bit closer to Hawke. "He's stubborn, arrogant, and always has to best me; that's how he is."
"That wasn't what I was asking. I meant is he a proficient lover when the doors are closed? I must know if your first experience was satisfying." Hawke finds herself coughing and this doesn't go unnoticed by the others in the room.
"You're not going to die over there are you Hawke?"
"I'm fine thank you Fenris," she ceases the coughing fit and the others return to their conversation.
"Just answer me, unless you want me to ask him?" She has a bit of tease to her tone and Hawke does not want her to strike that conversation with Fenris in front of everyone and allow Zevran to join in. "I am being perfectly honest with you Leliana, we are not in love nor have we slept together. I'm not ready for anything like that."
"But you do have feelings for him. That I can tell."
"Yes I have a lot of feelings for him, mainly the feeling of being constantly annoyed. I swear, sometimes it's easier to get a brick wall to listen and do what I ask. Oh and then he expects me to follow everything he says to the letter and if I don't, Maker if you think he is moody now…" Both woman begin to laugh at her little rant and the others attention is on them once more.
"Why are you both looking over at me and giggling? I see no cause for it," Fenris turns a sharp eye over that them. He had noticed Hawke glancing over at him several times as she carried on with her reacquainted friend. He thought nothing of it until now.
"What makes you think we are giggling at you? Stop being so paranoid and narcissistic, it's not always about you." The sardonic Hawke he knows and admires is now back, but he can't decide right now if that is a good thing.
"So you just both coincidently looked at me and laughed at the same time. Do not take me for a fool Hawke, unless you would have me turn it against you," he rebukes her claim.
"We are discussing your gift at sword play. Hawke was telling me how well you wield it in your prior engagements," Leliana chimes in.
"Ah yes that. I must admit I still have much to learn, but I have confidence that if I continue to work with Hawke, we will both become better as an end result. I still do not see how that would deserve laughter." Leliana laughs again as Hawke hides her face in her hands. He raises a confused brow; what was so damn funny.
"I think that was an innuendo for something else," the Crow joins in with the laughter slapping his knee. Well that went right over his head.
His brow twitches irritably as his teeth grind together, "And this sort of topic was brought up why!?"
"I had to be sure my little Marian was in proper hands. She is new in the area of intimacy, so please be gentle with her." Hawke face matches her hair now as she tries to hide, turning toward the ground, while the other elf's laughter bounces throughout the room. This is all the other redhead's doing obviously, Hawke wouldn't be so open like that. Though she did seem to enjoy her bouts of flirting, it was genuinely innocent.
"Parshaara, we can continue our discussion without the nuisance of human women elsewhere," Sten clears the air with his voice.
"No, you don't have to leave; I wanted to catch up with you too. I'm happy you seem to be doing so well," Hawke speaks with a soft voice.
"Why you insist on this compassion I will never understand. You made it quite clear you befriended those people."
"Yes, but after I said what I needed to say to you, I forgave you. You didn't kill them on purpose, if so you would have attacked me."
"You find light that does not exist in others. It will be your downfall one day." Now Fenris was curious; he thought the same of Hawke. He follows the Qunari, whom through their time talking of Seheron, have built a slight revere for one another. Being warriors, distrust of mages, and his knowledge of Qunari custom; they both had common interest, though nothing alike in a whole. "What was that about? Why would a Qunari be here in the first place?"
"I was sent by the Arishok was to investigate the blight for it intrigued him. Upon arrival at Lake Calenhad, my comrades and I were ambushed by a hoard of darkspawn; only I survived. When I awoke, my Asala was gone, taken away by the darkspawn and so I panicked. In my delirium, I murdered the family that was nursing me back to health and Hawke arrived after it was all over."
"The soul of the warrior… Though I cannot grasp the actual significance of the sword to you, I understand the concept of it. You are unable to return to Seheron without it in your possession. I'm sure Hawke wasn't aware of this however."
"No she was not. With certainty, she was caught off guard by the scene and dropped the belongings brought with her. That is when I learned she was Bas Saarebas, or so I thought. After I was struck down by her magic, she tended to the fallen, but it was in vain. They were beyond her magic's reach, what was done could not be undone. I was prepared to except my fate by her hand, but it did not come. She mourned for them and proceeded to question why I had slain the people that helped me. I questioned in return why she had not killed me yet and she simply said that there was no one left to defend. I had few dealings with humans before, but I knew this was not a conformed reaction, especially for a boundless mage. I assumed she would avenge them and consider me a brute seeking to satisfy my bloodlust, but she did not and instead offered to heal me and apologized for attacking. I had never known such foolishness before and I told her no, I wish to find redemption in my death for failing my mission and killing those who did not deserve death. I remember her next words clearly, 'You seek redemption? Then find it in life not death. That is a coward's way out and I will not assist their deaths to be at the hands of a craven'." She left me after that and I was later apprehended and caged for my crimes to be offered a sacrifice to the darkspawn. From then on she visited me everyday and held no contempt against me; though not of feeling I wasn't worth her scorn, but instead as if I was a lost imekari needing direction. I never thought I would learn a valuable lesson from a human and non follower of the Qun; that there would be no honor for myself or those I victimized in that death, but she and the Warden helped me to find purpose again." Fenris could not believe what he just heard, he knew Hawke was different, but this is an entirely whole new level. It brought about a sense of awe and fear at the same time; as noble as it was, it was utter foolishness as the Qunari stated. Nevertheless, if selfless could define a person, it would be Hawke.
"And what purpose would that be?"
"To put an end to this blight."
Fenris had heard the stories of Grey Wardens as the only ones with the power to end blights, but he never would have expected this Grey Warden planned to take on this task. "She plans to destroy the archdemon?"
"Yes, that is why we all travel alongside her." If Hawke found out, she would probably want to help them too, but she would have to be convinced that finding her family was paramount. "I would ask of you not to tell her this. She will want to help and doubt she could be talked out of it."
"You will not hear me say it, but as for the others I not be surprised if she already knows."
"Good point…" A large commotion is heard from the other room, so the two go back to it.
"Your back, how was everything?" Leliana asks as the group they met from the night before returns.
The other Warden Alistair is the first to answer, "Oh it was all terribly boring. A lot of running around, debating, come to agreements, blah, blah, blah, and no food.
"And no booze, you forgot about that," the dwarf adds.
"Enough the both of you. You will make the Warden's headache worsen." The older woman turns to a weary warden who runs a hand through her hair. "But it's over and done with. We have everything we need for Landsmeet. Now we just have to wait for it to begin…. In two weeks."
"Two weeks of sitting in this terribly uneventful place, with this rowdy group? I fear that will not end well my dear warden."
"What choice do we have Zevran? You are all free to find jobs in the mean time, but don't wander too far from here, I mean it… Oh I'm sorry I didn't see you there. Hawke right?" She looks over to see Hawke sitting there who nods, standing up. She extends her hand to the warden and begins with, "I was told of your offer for help here about what was discussed last night. Sorry, I walked away so rudely as you see my friend did not know I am a mage. Thank you, Morrigan has already assisted me."
The warden takes her hand and shakes it saying, "No that was rude of me, I forgot all about that with this running around. These guys didn't cause you any problems did they?"
"We were attacked on site," Fenris doesn't hold back as the warden stares down at his dented armor. She pinches the bridge of her nose, "Ah Shale… Listen I'll pay to repair any damages and Wynne can you heal them if they need it?"
"That I can."
"No we are fine, we'll get his armor fixed in town somewhere. You have done enough." Hawke steps back as their hands release and the warden continues, "No, Alistair and I can handle that. Right Alistair?"
She looks back to her companion and he starts to whine, "But we just got back and…"
"Right Alistair?" You can hear her teeth grinding, so he sighs and mumbles, "Fine, don't feel like getting impaled by a scary woman with a big sword anyway…" Her eye twitches, but she turns back to Fenris with a pleasant smile, "We know of the best blacksmith in Denerim. I can get it back to you tomorrow. That's a promise." She holds out her hand and Fenris turns away slightly, "There isn't really any need for that…"
"I won't take no for an answer."
"Believe me she doesn't." The warden turns a glare back at Alistair and Fenris sighs and removes it. She takes it from him and says, "We'll be back soon. Arl Eamon told me all friends are welcome here, so feel free to stay the night."
"Thank you for the offer, but we traveled here with someone and need to tell her what is going on."
"Oh yes I remember you were with Isabela. Very well, come back here anytime tomorrow. I'll be sure no one attacks you when you do this time." She eyes down her companions at that.
"My lusty pirate lass is here!? Oh this is wonderful news in deed! Please allow me to join you." He asks Hawke and she nods.
"Well that explains everything. I was being to wonder why a complete stranger offered us a threesome in a brothel for free," Alistair mocks and Zevran smiles, "That my Isabela."
Translations:
(Yeah I used google translate on Latin setting. I'm sure none of its right, but its not actually Latin the game anyway. Any not listed and you really want to know are from the game and can easily be found in the Dragon age Wiki.)
Non fallit te, adsum: Don't let it deceive you, for I am here.
Prohibere conatur ad ventilabis me, suus sero sum iam vestrum: Stop trying to push me away, it's too late I am already yours
Nobis placate facere nihil metuere: Please do this for us, you have nothing to fear