I had plenty of food in front of me but had no appetite. Actually, it was the opposite. I felt like throwing up. Mostly because the two people around me were acting completely normal. Like not an hour ago, we could have been killed. I guess that was better that my son didn't know we could have been shot and killed. But the man sitting across from me, quietly talking to my kid on my lap, wasn't even saying a word about everything that just happened. Including the fact that he just told me he was a C.I.A. agent. I did feel good, knowing he was at least not a criminal. I was concerned at the four men who were looking for him, clearly pissed off, but couldn't stop thinking about how his windows were bullet proof. I was clearly in a very safe house. With a very capable man. I just wasn't too thrilled about being lied to. And kept in the dark. Again. "Mr. Kendall?" I looked away from the black container of food I hadn't even touched yet and looked at the side of my son's head as he shoved more noodles in his mouth. "How come my daddy and I had to hide in a closet?" I looked over to Kendall who was smiling small as he raised a glass of water to his lips.
"Because…"
"Are you done eating Gabe?" Kendall stopped raising his glass before it touched his lips and I softly shook my head.
"No daddy. I still have two big meatballs."
"Why don't I get you set up in the living room buddy? I'll make a little table out there for you, and you can watch a movie or something and finish up." Gabe sighed pushing off my lap and took his own black container of food. He looked up at me as Kendall stood up and grabbed the plastic cup of juice he had poured for Gabe. I went to put my hand on Gabe's face, but he turned fast and followed Kendall out to the living room. I sighed out leaning forward and put my elbows on the edge of the table, putting my palms over my eyes and cheeks. I wanted to scream, just to let a bunch of steam off, but I was terrified if I did scream, I'd cry. And if I cried, Gabe would see me, and freak out. So, all I did while I heard Gabe and Kendall laugh as the sound of an animated show Gabriel loved came on. I kept my head down with my hands covering my face, even as I heard Kendall's shoes hitting onto the hard wood as he walked back into the dinning room. I tensed up when a hand gripped onto the back of my neck and he pulled a chair close to me, sitting down hard. "I'm sorry Logan." I squeezed my eyes shut hard and lowered my head, so my head was being held up at my forehead. "If there was ever going to come a time when you found out what I actually did for a living, I never wanted it to happen like that. I know I told you I wouldn't lie to you, but I also told you if there was something I didn't tell you, it would be for a good reason. Part of being a secret agent is it being a secret." I scoffed loudly raising my head and set my chin on my closed fists. The hand on my neck, slowly moved down my back and rubbed gently. "If you don't want to be with me, I understand. But I am afraid that if these guys saw you and Gabe, they will come after you." I turned to him fast and narrowed my eyes at him. He looked guilty. He knew he had fucked up and was probably worried I was going to leave him. But as far as my brain was concerned, the only way I'd leave him now is if I was forced too.
"Who are they?" He sighed out, leaning back in his chair and took his hand off my back. "If you want this to work…even now after I told you I didn't like to be lied to, you better answer my questions." I saw his jaw lock into a tight line and leaned back in my chair looking out to the beautiful view of the ocean that was his backyard. "I…"
"They are Russian sellers." I turned back to him frowning and he shrugged. "They are currently in the states because of a booming market we have here." He cleared his throat looking over his shoulder at his living room. He turned back to me and shrugged again. "They are here to sell into the human trafficking market." My mouth parted open and he nodded putting a hand on my shoulder. "I have been fronting as a buyer. Every time we try to make a deal, to catch them red handed, something happens. They don't have the girls, or they don't trust me. It's taken a long time to get where we are at with this case and I now fear that they know who I really am, because they found out where I live." He shook his head looking down. "I still am not sure how they found out where I live but I have someone looking into it." I opened my mouth to ask at least a billion questions, but his front door opening and shutting fast made me shoot up in my seat and let my fear take over.
"Kendall?" My eyes widened as James walked in, gun in hand. He lowered it quick seeing me, and then Kendall standing up and quickly placed it into a holster hanging on his shoulder, under his arm. "Hey…hey Loges." I frowned stepping out from around my chair and walked to him.
"How long have you been doing this?" I motioned to his gun as he glanced over my head at Kendall who got right next to me. "This whole time…all this time I've had my son around you…I've let him stay at your house and you've been…"
"Working for the C.I.A." I shook my head crossing my arms over my chest as he smirked and shrugged. "Your son has always been safe. Around me, and even not around me. I would never let anything happen to you or Gabe, and hate me all you want for keeping it from you but the whole point of a secret agent is…"
"Kipping it a secret. Yeah I know." I turned fast and went back to the table, sitting down hard. I picked up my fork feeling my appetite come back to me.
"So, he's taking this well?" I rolled my eyes shoving a forkful of chicken in my mouth. "I got a message that your alarm was going off. I tried to get here earlier, but Carlos's dad was…"
"Wait." I looked up and across the table at James who was taking the seat Kendall was in for dinner. "Does Carlos know?"
"Of course, he does. DO you really think I could hide something like this from him?" I frowned sitting back as Kendall took the seat next to me. "Do you remember when I graduated from College? I told Carlos I was going to help my parents with some shit back home in New York. In reality I was in D.C. I had applied for a low-key security job, at least I thought I had. I had been recruited to join the C.I.A. because of the classes I took in college."
"You've been working for the C.I.A. since you were 22?" James nodded sitting back, relaxing, and threw a piece of bread into his mouth chewing slowly. "And you thought it was funny to keep me in the dark or…" I gave him a dirty look making him smile big.
"There has never been a time when I thought you needed to know Logan." I frowned, feeling a little hurt by that making him sit forward. "Don't think too much about it alright. The only reason Carlos found out Is because in his senior year of college, I was on a mission and got hurt really bad. I made them fly Carlos out in case I died. I wanted to tell him I loved him and to tell him the truth." I rolled my eyes turning to Kendall who smirked and put a hand on my shoulder. "I understand you have a lot of questions, and I'm sure you have a few choice words to say to me, but I need to make sure my partner is okay." Kendall looked away fast and nodded sitting up straight.
"I wasn't here. Logan and Gabe were." I turned to see James go from cute and charming, to pissed and angry in a matter of seconds. "I saw some footage from my cameras. It was the Russians. They found out where I live, tried to shoot in my windows, and shot through my door knob. Logan was quick and took Gabe upstairs and hid in a closet. My alarm was still going off when I got here, but as far as I can tell, nothing was taken, and neither of them were hurt." I looked down to my food and picked up my fork again.
"Fuck Logan…are you okay?"
"No. I'm not James." I glanced back up to him letting Kendall squeeze my shoulder. "I am far from okay because for the second time in my life I thought I was going to have to watch my son get killed." James looked down, a guilty look washing over his face, like Kendall had looked. "Do you think if I hadn't been kept in the dark, this shit wouldn't have happened? That I wouldn't have been scared half to death and had to cover my child's mouth, so he wouldn't cry?" James looked back to me and I shook my head. "I know…I know you carry a lot of guilt because of Chris." James turned away from me, swallowing hard and I felt tears threatening to spill out. "But again…if I had been told the truth about the guy who you set me up with, I wouldn't have been hurt, or scared half to death." I stood up fast shaking Kendall's hand off me and turned, hurrying down to the hall, to Kendall's bedroom. I got in fast, and shut the door faster rushing to the bed, covering my mouth so I wouldn't sob out.
I wanted to grab James by his hair and smash his face into a wall several times. I felt like an idiot. I was kept in the dark by someone I trusted with my life. And it wasn't a little thing he hid from me. It was about his job, in which we was a trained killer. No, he wasn't a criminal and I'm sure he was really good at his job. But why couldn't I know? Did he not trust me, to not blab to people? And how could Carlos not tell me? They clearly hid stuff from me. And if they were willing to hide all that super important shit form me, what else were they hiding? It wasn't like I was a loose cannon. Or hated the government or something like that. I was a law-abiding citizen who paid takes every year. Why the hell couldn't I know my best friend, or someone I though was my best friend, worked for the government? As I pondered the question I pushed myself up from the lying I was doing and sat against the head board putting a pillow over my stomach. I wiped the last few tears off my face and steadied my breathing. I wasn't upset with James. Or Kendall for that fact. I was just scared. For my child and myself. My gut reaction was to yell at James and Kendall and be mad. Because it would make it seem like it was someone, anyone else's fault that I jumped and trusted someone so quickly. I did the same thing to Kendall as I did to Chris. He swept me off my feet, made me feel safe, and I was putty. That pissed me off. That is what made me mad at James. It's easier to blame him, than me.
I got myself calmed down quite a bit really having an intense conversation with myself. I slid off the bed grabbing a random sweater of Kendall's as I walked out of his room. I pulled it on my body and couldn't help but smile hearing my child's laugh. When I walked back out to the dining room, I slowed down my steps seeing Kendall and James standing in front of the table, a laptop open in front of them. Kendall looked up first and I smiled small, making him smile back. "I'm sorry. I…" I paused as James looked up and we locked eyes. "I was terrified. I took my fear out on you, James and I'm sorry. I know that you would never let anything happen to my son and I love you to the moon and back for that." James nodded looking back down to the laptop and I turned to Kendall. "I understand why you didn't tell me. And if there is ever something you can't tell me, just…warn me I guess. Let me know if I need to heighten my senses if I'm alone in your house." He nodded fast and I walked to my food, as I pulled on the sweater I grabbed.
"Up in that room you and Gabe hid in…" I looked up as I sat down and grabbed my fork. Kendall quickly turned the laptop and I froze seeing the two men who I heard talking in the room as I clutched onto Gabe. "They were talking. My cameras don't have microphones. Not that one upstairs anyway. What were they saying?"
"They were looking for you." Both James and Kendall looked down at me and I shrugged. "They also knew I had seen them and were worried about it. But they were also worried about the cops showing up and left." Kendall sighed out and nodded, sitting down. James turned the computer back to them and started typing on it. "So, do these guys think your bankers?" Kendall chuckled leaning forward and we locked eyes.
"We technically are bankers." I smirked as I shoved pasta in my mouth and he laughed looking at James. "In regard to how we work…James is sort of like the tech and math geek. He literally designed this program on my computer that does all my financial work for me. I am not good with numbers." I laughed swallowing hard as I reached for my glass of cranberry juice.
"And while I handle all that shit Kendall goes around and beats people to submission." I stopped with my glass to my lips as James looked up, realizing what he just said. "I mean to say he is the muscle. And because of his military training, he's damn good at it." I nodded taking a quick sip and he sighed out. "Alright man…I got your cameras back up and running. I also sent a message to Dave…he's going to have some people come out tonight to switch out those windows out there and replace your door knob. Also, also…" I took another large bite of my food and watched James pull out his wallet. He pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it, putting it down in front of him. I perked up looking at it and frowned seeing the picture of the man who broke into my apartment. "No one knows who the fuck he is. I ran him through the system and nothing came up. Either he doesn't have a record, or…"
"He's not from here. Sort of looks Danish." I leaned forward, furrowing my brows and Kendall looked at me. "We at first thought he was working with the Russians…that they had somehow found out you and I knew each other and wanted to send a message. But it doesn't look that way."
"I still have this nasty hunch that Chris hired this guy. They way Gabe's room wasn't touched is fucking with my head." My stomach turned, but I continued to eat my food. "Okay…you're good to go. Dave's people will be stopping by at about 7 tonight. You don't have to be here for it, in fact they prefer you aren't. Dave doesn't like people to see us." Kendall nodded, and I swallowed hard sitting back. "You going to be okay here tonight Logan?" I looked up nodding fast and he smirked. "I know you're safe, but I just don't want to leave, to have to come back because you've killed Kendall for lying." I shook my head standing up and put my hands into the pockets of my sweater on my body.
"Yeah…I'm pretty pissed about it, but he's too good of a kisser to leave." I saw Kendall blush as he stood up and extended his hand to James. "Tell Carlos the next time I see him I'm killing him for lying to me." James laughed and nodded, walking to me. I let him pull me in for a hug and I hugged him back tight. I ignored the gun hanging under his arm as I pushed my face into his neck.
"Kendall is a good guy. And he hasn't stopped talking about you. Go easy on him." He whispered it into my hair before patting my back and pulling away. "I'll talk to you tomorrow about whether we go into work. Let me know if you guys need anything." I nodded watching him turn and walk right to the stairs to get to the front door. When he disappeared, I turned quick to look at Kendall but frowned. He wasn't in his seat. I opened my mouth to call for him, but two hands grabbed onto my arms form behind and held me sort of tight.
"I'm sorry Logan. Seriously sorry." I sighed out looking down, which to him must have been the green light to kiss onto my neck in the back. His hands moved down from my arms and laced our hands together. "I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you and Gabriel safe. From the assholes who broke into my house, and from your ex." I turned quick and put my hands on his chest putting my forehead on his. "Since everything is sort of out in the open, I should tell you…James told me about what happened to you and Chris. About what he did to you and Gabe." I had a reaction to pull away, but his arms were faster. They went behind me and locked together keeping me in place. "I know there are things people want to hide. An abusive ex is one of those things for you. But I would never, ever think of you any different just because of what that son of a bitch did that to you."
"I already have my idiot friends constantly worrying about…protecting me and coddling me. I didn't want you to do the same shit." He sighed, opening his mouth but I shook my head. "Also…that is a lot of baggage. Not nearly as much as being in the C.I.A. but…" He laughed moving in and pressed his lips softly into mine. I moved my hands up to his face and held gently as he pushed his hands down to my butt, squeezing softly. I groaned softly as he pulled away and put his lips on my forehead. "I am pretty sure you said you would take Gabe and I out tonight." I pulled my head away and looked up to his eyes. He was smiling wide and it made my heart flutter.
"Of course. Let me change." I nodded letting him go as he let me go. I wiped at my mouth watching him walk down the hall to his bedroom, already taking off his belt. I sighed out and slowly walked out to Gabe who was standing in front of the coffee table, plastic cup of juice in hand, looking up at the TV.
"Hey Gabe?" He turned quick and rushed to me holding his cup out. "Mr. Kendall is going to take us to a little carnival down on the beach. You want to go?"
"Yes daddy!" I laughed and nodded letting him jump up on me.
"Okay…go change into some shorts and a different shirt. And put on your sandals." Gabe nodded furiously and rushed out past me, after setting his cup on the coffee table. I sighed out, turning, while also looking down at my body. I knew I needed to change, because I would get too hot in these sweats, and raised my head as I started to walk towards the hallway. Before I got there, something from out by the front door caught my eye. I stopped and tilted my head seeing a sleek black car slowly driving backwards from the house. As it turned to go back down the driveway to get to the street, I saw the passenger window down, and felt my stomach flip. Sitting in the passenger seat, smocking form a cigarette was Chris. He flicked the cigarette from his hand onto the ground and looked up at the house one last time, before the car drove off and sped down the driveway. That was defiantly not a good sign.