Copyright Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is the sole owner of all Twilight Universe intellectual property, including but not limited to Twilight characters, Twilight plotlines, and all included Twilight text. This story is a fanfiction commentary on her work and no copyright infringement is intended. I own nothing.

Chapter 10 – SM Humor and Risking Exposure

"Ok," Bella cut in, trying to refocus the now thoroughly distracted and rowdy gathering, "Now that everyone has enough information to understand what's going on without undue frustration and hostility, can we please get back to reading the books? I have already lived this whole first one, and am getting antsy to start the others."

"Yeah," Jacob answered, smiling. He was thoroughly pleased to have some answers, even if he had no idea what to do with the fact that he would likely someday become a werewolf, "Want me to take a turn with the book?" No one objected so he grabbed it and opened it up to the next chapter, only to have yet another letter fall from the pages.

Jacob picked up the small folded piece of paper and looked it over quickly before handing it to Bella saying, "It's addressed to you Bells."

She unfolded it carefully, and began laughing to herself as she read it over.

"What?" Edward asked her, desperately wishing he could see into her mind for just a moment. SM had given him a taste of her inner dialogue and now he found himself even more annoyed with not being able to hear her thoughts in real time.

She looked up at him and smiled, "SM had some choice words for all of us, and I simply find her to be well… I'll just read it."

Bella darling, my favorite little danger magnet,

I trust that the puppies are behaving themselves. I'm sure by now the baby Alpha has decided he wants answers. Don't worry, he's all bark, no bite. Tell him whatever you wish. I'll be revealing it all anyway as your story unfolds, so he might as well have a little heads-up. (We all know Chief Wheels and the oldies don't do nearly enough to get their pups ready.)

I'm sure poppa cop (Nessie's affectionate nickname for your father) has also started interrogating someone, likely your beloved telepath, and is more or less in on the secret. Don't worry, he's good with weird, sort of like his daughter.

I suspect the main disastrous mistake I was hoping to avoid (or rather help Edward avoid) by sending these books has already been handled. You'll have to ask Brother Bear and your other charming, undead siblings how they managed to talk him down. (Fair warning, as he didn't change his mind until after these were written and sent, book-Adonis…I mean book-Edward, will still be doing something incredibly stupid. Sorry. But hopefully hearing all about the consequences will help keep him from changing his mind on the subject.)

That being said, there are still countless dangers ahead that you all could benefit from reading about, so get a move on. There are four books, so no more breaks. Get your sparkly/furry little butts in gear and change your future for the better.

Best of luck and lots of love always,

S.M.

By the time Bella finished reading the incredibly snarky letter, she could barely breathe she was laughing so hard.

Indignant grumbles ran through the whole group at the nicknames SM had devised for them all, but after a moment they all joined in Bella's mirth, thoroughly amused by the whole thing.

"Puppies seriously?" Sam huffed, trying to keep a straight face, and failing miserably.

"Oh yes," Emily mused, enjoying herself, "You boys best behave. I'd hate to have to put you in the dog house."

Kim was laughing right alongside her, "We are so buying spray bottles and leashes. SM is awesome."

The wolves did not look amused in the slightest at this, but Emily couldn't be bothered. "Next time they cause a fuss, we'll just flick their noses or swat them with a rolled up newspaper," she said.

Jacob was laughing along with most of the group, but shut up when Paul turned his glare on him, "Oh yeah, laugh it up 'baby alpha'," he said, only-half teasing, "You'll be one of the 'puppies' soon too."

"Forget the dog comments," Emmett bellowed, jabbing his elbow into Edward's side, "Someone needs to give our brother here proper grief for the 'Adonis' slip." And again, the room erupted in laughter.

Bella was blushing hugely, desperately hoping that no one realized SM likely picked up that nickname from writing down her own thoughts about him.

Charlie and Billy were teasing each other about their respective nicknames, when Bella realized something. "Who's Nessie?" she asked.

"Huh?" Jared added helpfully.

"The letter," Bella began, growing more serious again, "SM said poppa-cop was Nessie's nickname for my dad. That sounds like the sort of nickname a child would give him, and poppa implies it is either his daughter or granddaughter. But as far as I'm aware, I'm an only child, and well," she pauses, looking at Edward uneasily, "I don't expect to be having any children of my own. So who is Nessie?"

All the light humor was lost from the room as her words echoed in their minds. She was right. They still had no idea who SM was, and now there was this second mystery person added to the mix.

In addition, Bella's comment about never having children weighed heavily on Edward, reminding him of all the things she would have to give up in order to be with him, even if she was never changed. It had him questioning his decision to stay, despite his promise, and SM's continued warnings. How could he ask her to give up a chance to be a mother?

"I think we have enough unanswered questions at the moment," Sue said quietly, "Perhaps, rather than continuing to ponder them, we should just get back to the book. SM did say it was important that we pick up the pace."

"You're right," her husband agreed, "Please Jacob, go on."

3. PHENOMENON

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was different.

It was the light. It was still the gray-green light of a cloudy day in the forest, but it was clearer somehow. I realized there was no fog veiling my window.

I jumped up to look outside, and then groaned in horror.

"What now?" Emmett couldn't help but ask.

"Snow," Bella muttered, like it was the equivalent of hell on earth, "And ice!" She visibly shuddered, much to the amusement of the wolves, but the Cullens all suddenly realized what this chapter was going to be about and were uneasy.

A fine layer of snow covered the yard, dusted the top of my truck, and whitened the road. But that wasn't the worst part. All the rain from yesterday had frozen solid - coating the needles on the trees in fantastic, gorgeous patterns, and making the driveway a deadly ice slick. I had enough trouble not falling down when the ground was dry; it might be safer for me to go back to bed now.

"It really would have been," Bella, Edward, and Alice all said simultaneously. Their words were ominous, but the way they all spoke in unison and then looked at each other surprised, had them all giggling in spite of that.

Charlie had left for work before I got downstairs. In a lot of ways, living with Charlie was like having my own place, and I found myself reveling in the aloneness instead of being lonely.

"I always worry that I leave you alone too much," Charlie commented, his voice full of remorse. He worried about her before, when he thought she was just a normal teenage girl. Now that he knew just how insane her life was, he felt horrible for leaving her to deal with all of it on her own.

"I don't mind being alone Dad," she responded, reassuring him easily, "I'm a lot like you that way," she continued laughing at the blush that quickly spread across her father's face.

I threw down a quick bowl of cereal and some orange juice from the carton. I felt excited to go to school, and that scared me. I knew it wasn't the stimulating learning environment I was anticipating, or seeing my new set of friends. If I was being honest with myself, I knew I was eager to get to school because I would see Edward Cullen. And that was very, very stupid.

I should be avoiding him entirely after my brainless and embarrassing babbling yesterday. And I was suspicious of him; why should he lie about his eyes? I was still frightened of the hostility I sometimes felt emanating from him, and I was still tongue-tied whenever I pictured his perfect face. I was well aware that my league and his league were spheres that did not touch.

"Oh Bella," Edward began, pulling her against his chest tightly, "You really don't see yourself clearly at all do you?"

The two of them had had this conversation many times before, and as much as she wanted desperately to believe him that he really truly loved her, she couldn't help her insecurities. After all, she was completely ordinary, while he was practically a God among men.

And her past had taught her never to trust in the promises of beautiful men. It was true she had never really dated before coming to Forks, but that didn't mean she hadn't had friends. Not many, but the ones she did have were like family to her.

And they hadn't been precisely normal either. They were so much like the others here today, and she had blindly accepted their friendship, their love, and they had left her behind in the end.

She couldn't help fearing the same might happen here, with Edward and his family, who so much reminded her of the ones she had lost all those years ago.

She wouldn't argue with him, not again, but the truth was she wasn't sure she would ever truly believe that this perfect man was really hers.

Everyone was waiting for some kind of a response from Bella, but she was completely lost in her own thoughts and memories, so after a moment, Jacob continued reading.

So I shouldn't be at all anxious to see him today.

It took every ounce of my concentration to make it down the icy brick driveway alive. I almost lost my balance when I finally got to the truck, but I managed to cling to the side mirror and save myself. Clearly, today was going to be nightmarish.

Driving to school, I distracted myself from my fear of falling and my unwanted speculations about Edward Cullen by thinking about Mike and Eric, and the obvious difference in how teenage boys responded to me here.

I was sure I looked exactly the same as I had in Phoenix. Maybe it was just that the boys back home had watched me pass slowly through all the awkward phases of adolescence and still thought of me that way. Perhaps it was because I was a novelty here, where novelties were few and far between. Possibly my crippling clumsiness was seen as endearing rather than pathetic, casting me as a damsel in distress.

"Or maybe Bells," Jacob stopped reading and looked at her very seriously, "It's because you are beautiful."

Edward was jealous, hearing him speak of her that way, even if he completely agreed with his statement. Jasper felt this and couldn't help the chuckle that escaped in response.

Bella just blushed and ignored his comment, refusing to correct him on his obvious error.

Whatever the reason, Mike's puppy dog behavior and Eric's apparent rivalry with him were disconcerting. I wasn't sure if I didn't prefer being ignored.

My truck seemed to have no problem with the black ice that covered the roads. I drove very slowly, though, not wanting to carve a path of destruction through Main Street.

When I got out of my truck at school, I saw why I'd had so little trouble. Something silver caught my eye, and I walked to the back of the truck - carefully holding the side for support - to examine my tires. There were thin chains crisscrossed in diamond shapes around them. Charlie had gotten up who knows how early to put snow chains on my truck. My throat suddenly felt tight. I wasn't used to being taken care of, and Charlie's unspoken concern caught me by surprise.

"It really meant a lot to me," she told her father, "I don't think I ever properly thanked you for it, but I really was grateful." 'Renee never would have done that for me' she added silently, glad Edward couldn't hear her.

"Of course Bells," Charlie said, blushing again.

Paul listened to the short exchange with growing curiosity, and concern. Bella really never had anyone to look after her at all before coming to Forks did she? Renee was obviously not winning any 'mother of the year' awards, but the fact that no one had ever really taken care of this girl was truly sad, and made him want to reach out to her in some way, but he kept silent for the time being.

I was standing by the back corner of the truck, struggling to fight back the sudden wave of emotion the snow chains had brought on, when I heard an odd sound.

It was a high-pitched screech, and it was fast becoming painfully loud. I looked up, startled.

I saw several things simultaneously. Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in the movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work much faster, and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once.

Edward Cullen was standing four cars down from me, staring at me in horror. His face stood out from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock. But of more immediate importance was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the back corner of my truck, and I was standing between them. I didn't even have time to close my eyes.

"Wait," Charlie interrupted, "I don't understand. Edward was standing right next to you that day, and he pulled you out of the way before you could get hurt. That's what you told me."

Bella looked down, ashamed that she lied to her father, even if it was a small white lie meant to protect Edward.

Before anyone else could comment on the new information, or the unpleasant mood that had settled over the room as a result, Emmett's voice rang out, "Way to spoil the ending Charlie," he complained good-naturedly, "At least half the people here don't know what happened. Just let them hear the story. Bella's mind seems to explain everything as we go."

Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, something hit me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting. My head cracked against the icy blacktop, and I felt something solid and cold pinning me to the ground. I was lying on the pavement behind the tan car I'd parked next to.

But I didn't have a chance to notice anything else, because the van was still coming. It had curled gratingly around the end of the truck and, still spinning and sliding, was about to collide with me again.

A low oath made me aware that someone was with me, and the voice was impossible not to recognize. Two long, white hands shot out protectively in front of me, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body.

Then his hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the body of the van, and something was dragging me, swinging my legs around like a rag doll's, till they hit the tire of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the asphalt - exactly where, a second ago, my legs had been.

"Wow Bellsy," Emmett commented, "That van really had it out for you. I saw the whole thing happen, but hearing it the way you describe it, it's like the thing was chasing you around corners, determined to crush you."

"It sort of felt like it at the time," Bella agreed, laughing.

It was absolutely silent for one long second before the screaming began. In the abrupt bedlam, I could hear more than one person shouting my name. But more clearly than all the yelling, I could hear Edward Cullen's low, frantic voice in my ear.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." My voice sounded strange. I tried to sit up, and realized he was holding me against the side of his body in an iron grasp.

"Be careful," he warned as I struggled. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

I became aware of a throbbing ache centered above my left ear.

"Ow," I said, surprised.

"That's what I thought." His voice, amazingly, sounded like he was suppressing laughter.

"I was," Edward admitted, "Only you could smash your head against pavement, and not notice that it hurt until someone pointed it out to you."

"Well I'm sorry if I was a tad bit distracted by you lifting a van off my legs, and didn't notice the little bump on my head," she replied, only mildly annoyed with being laughed at, "We both know I've had far worse than a bump on the head."

And with that comment, all laughter was lost. The Cullens knew she had had far worse since, and that was sobering enough, but the way she phrased it, made it sound like she reacted the way she did that day because she had been seriously injured before coming to Forks. So, what had happened?

Jacob started again before anyone could comment further. They would have to ask her about this later.

"How in the..." I trailed off, trying to clear my head, get my bearings. "How did you get over here so fast?"

"I was standing right next to you, Bella," he said, his tone serious again.

I turned to sit up, and this time he let me, releasing his hold around my waist and sliding as far from me as he could in the limited space. I looked at his concerned, innocent expression and was disoriented again by the force of his gold-colored eyes. What was I asking him?

And then they found us, a crowd of people with tears streaming down their faces, shouting at each other, shouting at us.

"Don't move," someone instructed.

"Get Tyler out of the van!" someone else shouted.

There was a flurry of activity around us. I tried to get up, but Edward's cold hand pushed my shoulder down.

"Just stay put for now."

"But it's cold," I complained. It surprised me when he chuckled under his breath. There was an edge to the sound.

"Seriously Bella?" Jared asked, incredulous, "Out of everything that just happened, you're concerned about the cold?"

"You all have heard enough of my inner dialog at this point to know I really don't like the cold," she defended herself, "And the ground was covered in ice and snow."

"Seriously need to sort out your priorities hun," Charlie told her. Everyone around her nodded their agreement, to which she simply huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Just keep reading Jake."

"You were over there," I suddenly remembered, and his chuckle stopped short. "You were by your car."

His expression turned hard. "No, I wasn't."

"I saw you." All around us was chaos. I could hear the gruffer voices of adults arriving on the scene. But I obstinately held on to our argument; I was right, and he was going to admit it.

"So stubborn," Edward added helpfully, but his voice wasn't annoyed in the slightest. He found her stubborn streak absolutely adorable now.

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way." He unleashed the full, devastating power of his eyes on me, as if trying to communicate something crucial.

"No." I set my jaw.

The gold in his eyes blazed. "Please, Bella."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Trust me," he pleaded, his soft voice overwhelming.

"You risked everything to save her," Charlie realized, "You could have been exposed. Your whole family could have been exposed. And you risked it all to save her life. The van would have killed her," his voice was full of gratitude as he surmised just how close his little girl had come to being roadkill.

"There is nothing I wouldn't risk to protect her Charlie," he answered, his eyes never leaving his Bella, "She is my everything."

Sam and Jared instinctively gazed on their imprints as he spoke. They knew exactly what it felt like to be willing to do absolutely anything to protect the ones they loved. In that moment, the wolves began to see that there was more to the Cullens than they had always believed. They were capable of love…