Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the plot
Title: Sincerely Untrue
Hera was cuddled in the warm and dark silken sheets. She had always loved the feeling of silk on her bare skin, which gave her the feeling of being sinful and seductive and yet, comfortable and warm. However, this time, she could not let herself get lost in those warm and gentle feelings, instead she was caught in her own thoughts, consisting of the past events and mixed with the worries for the future.
Zeus had seen her. In his bed.
Hera was no fool. She was aware of what kind of message the picture transmitted. She and Hades were lying in his bed in a state with barely anything on that covered parts, which were only reserved for their respective spouses to be seen. It did not help that she had just woken up with sleepy eyes and expression, with her hair done in an unruly that was expected to happen, when you wake up, yet could also be interpreted for being stemmed from another cause.
What else, but the act of crude passion, could normal two beings from the other sex have done?
But she and Hades were not normal, well at least not in this aspect, and probably not in many others either. However, the fact was that she and Hades would never do something like that. On the contrary to what they, those who were shameless and dishonorable towards their promises and vows of love they had made, believed, there were still gods and goddesses, who does not act as frivolous as them. She knew what it meant for a woman to experience adultery and, even if she did not have a very high opinion for that silly little girl, she respected her enough to not want to throw her in such situation. Besides, it was not as if Hades would ever want to hurt his wife, for someone like her. She had always only been his friend. Nothing more.
But of course, no one would ever understand this. No, no one would assume that Hera was considerate or understanding or even nice.
She was only and always the bad one. The one, who was laughed upon, the goddess, who humans pointed their fingers at, as though she was some kind of jester and not a goddess, whom they should pay their respect to, to entertain them. She was always the evil goddess, who punished innocent mistresses and in the end, even unnerved her own husband and could not satisfy him enough to keep him, instead he sought the pleasure from everyone else, even humans, other than her.
How pathetic she was.
She sighed and closed her eyes. She should not dwell on thoughts like that; she should focus more on the recent situation and try to uncover the misunderstanding, before someone really got seriously hurt. Who cares, if she was displayed as the bad one?
Hera shook her head, she should really get up.
With the determination set, she sat up from the bed and went to the vanity. A robe appearing on her body, covering her bared skin, since she has learned the lesson that at any time, any person could appear through these doors and it was not her intention for everyone to view her in such a revealing state. She starred into the mirror, seeing the exact replica of herself. Strawberry blond hair and big brown eyes, but-
"What a lovely sight you give, my Queen." Her still face changed expression, as she saw through the mirror, who the intruder was.
"What are you doing here, Hermes?" she asked with a grim face, ready to tell him to go away.
"I am merely paying a visit and my respect to you, my dear Queen and mother." She hated it when she was reminded of the fact that he was her stepson. What had caused her to acknowledge him as her stepson again? "Besides, Zeus gave me the order to take you back, with or without force by the way. Immediately." Hermes felt the steel hard glare she threw at him, and the desire in her eyes to wipe away his smirk.
"And on what grounds, may I acquire, does he justify his action? If I am not wrong, this realm is not his, but that of his brother and thus, giving him no right in abducting a guest of Hades." she explained. Hermes felt the ice cold voice of hers run through his skin, even though he revealed no reaction.
"His action may not be justified, however, it is doubtful whether Lord Hades will let you stay here, especially when your husband, Zeus, demand for your return. And the reason, why makes Zeus know that Hades will not give you his protection, is the same as the last time. Even if Hades loves you, even if you mean a lot to him, he would never risk the wrath of his brother, not even Persephone was worth the risk of a war between Zeus and Hades."
"And why would I be any different? This is what everyone is thinking, is it not?" she scoffed.
"I guess there is no need for any comment." He could almost pity her. "But, if it is your wish to prolong your stay here, for a little bit, then I guess I might be of help for you."
Hera halted the brush in its way through her tresses, as she listened to his words. Through the mirror, she fixated the god of messengers with an unreadable look. Surely, weighing whether his words deserved any beliefs.
For Hermes, it was all fine if she doubted him and if she decided that he was not worth the shot, then it was fine, too. After all, it affected him in no way; he would come out alive of this, no matter what decision she made. However, he suspected that there might be some reason for her to stay here a little bit longer. What the reason was? He had no idea and again, it was fine with him.
"Where is the catch?" she asked him, putting her brush away.
"What do you mean?" he asked, feigning innocence, at which Hera could only roll her eyes in an annoyed way at.
"I have no time to joke around, Hermes. Our time is precious, so stop wasting it. I only demand to know what it is that you strive to take advantage of. And if you are already at it, you can also tell me how much time you can play out for me. Before I know any of these answers, I will not make my decision."
"If we cooperate, and I am sure that we can do this very well, then I can give you as much time as is needed and is possible for your situation. Perhaps, for a goddess like you, the time you have left, will not be worth mentioning, in comparison to your long life, however, I daresay that in your situation, it is the best you can have."
Hera thought about the words. He had still not revealed his true intention; he had merely stated what she had expected him to. His words had no real importance, as he already mentioned, she was indeed grateful for any time she had left. Yet she was still uneasy when it came to her decision. Who knows what it might be that Hermes wanted her to do?
"And you will assure me that none of this will get past your lips, to anyone? Especially not to your father?"
"I swear." When he felt her still unsatisfied face of hers, he sighed. "By everything that I possess, that is of any meaning to me, material or immaterial, will be lost when I break this oath of loyalty I swear to you in keeping my promise."
It was better than nothing, she decided.
"You are going to Lord Hades now, are you not?" he asked.
"How-"
"Pure intuition." he explained and shrugged his shoulder.
Hera sighed. She should have expected this to happen, when she walked to him. She had only intended to say goodbye to him, to tell him her gratitude for his friendship and also sorry for the trouble she has caused. She had expected him to deny everything, however, his anger was nor foreseen by her. The way he reacted, was surely something that had caught her off-guard.
"Do not go there; do not go back to him. Why the need to go back to the place which only made you unhappy your entire life?" For a moment, Hera was tempted to accept his proposal and stay there, with him. Oh, it was just too tempting. But no, Hera shook her head inwardly. She could not risk it. She knew Zeus well enough to know that he was not bluffing with his threat and he would have no problem in waging war with Hades, whom he suspected as Hera's lover. It does not matter that they were family, for Zeus; there was only him and the others.
"I have no other choice."
"You do. Stay here, with me. I can protect you, from everything, even him."
She wished that he could stop speaking for one moment, so that she could collect herself. With each word he spoke, her determination wavered and the voice inside her head, the one of the coward inside of her, whispering the same tempting words as the god in front of her, trying to persuade her into staying, got louder and louder.
"You want to protect me, even though you know that it will ignite his wrath? Do you really want to start a war, with the king of gods, Zeus, your own brother, just because of me?" she whispered. She felt her heart throb slightly stronger than usual. "You do know that you very well might lose your position, if you do this."
Hera turned her eyes away, her ears carefully awaiting his answer. This had been her main concern. She knew what his realm meant to him, it was his sanctuary, just like he had been hers in the past. To lose the only place or thing or person, which gives you the peace you are usually deprived of, this was the greatest gift gods and every other being could truly be blessed with.
"I do not care. I love your more than that."
"But you do not love me more than you love your wife, don't you." Hera smiled, feeling flattered by his words and yet, her jealousy for Persephone grew a little bit again.
"She is my wife."
"Exactly." she sighed. Hades had made her his wife, which meant that Persephone, no matter how much Hera could not understand, was important to Hades and he could not lose her. His realm and his wife, those were the most important thing in his life, they gave him peace, and happiness and who was she to take that all away from him, just because she could not bear to the one to be at loss.
"But it does not mean that I cannot protect you." Hades protested, as though he has read her mind. "I have let you go one time, knowing nothing but heartbreak will await you in his arms. I let you go, once; I cannot let you go, twice. This time, I promise, I will protect you, with all my power. I will insure your happiness." For a moment, Hera blinked at his words. Then, a small, however true smile graced her words.
She took one step towards him, and Hades felt himself froze at her action, when he felt her press against him. For a moment, they stayed in the embrace.
"Thank you." she said and let go of him. Hades clenched his hands into fist, in order to gain control of them, who wanted to desperately grab her and put her back into his arms.
Hera was still smiling, never taking any notice of the inner turmoil she was putting him through. She was only content at hearing his words. She remembered, back in the past, how much she has desired to hear those words to come from his lips, but never did. And even if it was not the way she had wanted to hear them, even if it was already too late and not even from the right reason, it was the most she could ever hope to get. She laughed at herself mentally, thinking that she should not have deluded herself into thinking any otherwise.
"However, you do not have to feel guilty, Hades. Nothing that has happened is your fault." she explained. "You are not responsible for anything and you are surely not the reason why I went to Zeus in the first place."
"I only want you to be happy." Hades whispered. He could not bring himself to tell her the true reason, thinking that it would hurt her and never knowing that not doing so is actually the only thing that does.
"You know," she said and gently laid her hands on his cheek, caressing it in a soft manner of a lover "the first time you let me go to him, I knew or rather half expected myself to stay unhappy for the rest of my life. I thought that," her voice cracked lightly, "I thought that I could not experience happiness ever again, that it will be impossible for me to laugh heartily and reveal my heart to the sun again, because I could and have only done so with you... But, he surprised me, he made me laugh, he made me smile and I loved it; perhaps it was not the way I laughed when I was with you, perhaps it was not the same smile you have brought on my lips and surely, I did not love with him the way I did you, it was different, and yet the same."
"Nothing has changed, loving the one, who did not love you and rejecting the one, who did." she chuckled.
"Hera..." She shook her head and took one step away from him.
"No." she put one finger on his lips, in order to shut him up. "Please, Hades. I don't want to hear it from you. No apologies."
"But I can't let you leave, without-" he protested.
"The blame lies in none of us." she insisted, this time with a stronger voice. "It was something that could not be prevented and, feelings cannot be forced. I guess it was just not meant to be."
"That is not true, you know that. It was not like that... you know that, don't you?" he asked, she, however, could not but look back at him with a confused look.
"What should I have known?" she asked, her voice so fragile and thin, barely a whisper.
"I thought you knew..." he whispered. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, which only added her confusion. And as Hera watched Hades, as her eyes analyzed his very reaction, she could not help but feel curious what his problem was. A feeling gnawed at her, telling her it was something huge, almost devastating in his knowledge. He opened his eyes again and as he returned her stare, she could not but wince.
Betrayal.
It was not the furious betrayal, which was mirrored in his eyes. He looked hurt, as though she had just broken him. And it made Hera want to know the truth even more. She wanted to know the cause from all of this.
"Hades...?" What had transpired what she was not aware of?
"Never mind." he replied instead and gave her a wry smile, looking so wrong on his face with its unnatural and forced lining. "It was my fault anyway, for not realizing sooner." Hera bit her own lip, as she suppressed the urge inside of her to wipe that smile of his face, the self-loathing radiating from it as brightly as the sun in its walk through the day.
"Realizing what?" she asked instead, feeling a weird feelings fight its way to the surface.
"Perhaps we should put a stop to this conversation. I am not sure whether I could stand it if you asked me more questions."
"You cannot just talk to me like this, letting me know that there is something that is bothering you and apparently concerns us as well. Hades," Hera said in the most pleading voice she knew she possessed. "Please, talk to me. Tell me-"
"But there is nothing to say!" she winced again. But he carried on, as though he had not noticed. "Believe me, Hera, when I say that it is in your interest if you never knew it. The only thing you need to know is that I had been a fool, when you were concerned, I always was and I..."
"... You?"
"I wish you I could tell you, I ... I wish it was different." he smiled and turned away, making it very clear that he did not want to speak of it.
"When is she returning?" Hera asked and thus changing the topic, knowing very well that there was no use in trying to get any information from him. For he was just as stubborn as she was, if not more at times of determination. Those were the moments she felt the distance between them, much like they were two beings, who were worlds apart.
"I don't know." he answered.
"Are you not worried about what she might think?" she questioned further.
"And you? Are you worried about what your dear husband might think?" he asked mockingly.
"I believe that the situation he caught us in, was very clear or at least to him. I know him well enough to know that he will not give me the benefit of doubt." she smirked. "I wonder why all men try to see the worst in their wives." she laughed. Not every man did, was what he wanted to say.
"Do you love her?" Hera asked after some time of silence, leaving the god no chance to express his opinion.
"She is my wife." he replied, yet again, although no sure what it has to do with their topic, nor the reason for her need to vary their topic.
"She might be cheating on you." she told him.
"As does your husband, and yet you return to him. You have no right in criticizing me."
"I am not. It is just... I know how hard it is to be in love with someone, who does not reciprocate your feelings. I thought you deserved more." she explained.
"As you do and yet, here you are, willing to go back to him."
"But thank you, for wanting to protect me, more than..." Hera trailed off.
Hades did not reply, instead he just shrugged at her words. His actions were weird. He acted as though it was the most normal thing in the world that a husband cared more for the protection of a woman than he did for the one, who was supposed to be his lover, and although Hera was also his sister, they had no feelings, at least not those that were harbored for siblings. And truth to be told, this knowledge, did not make her heart leap, but it filled her body with indescribable and unlimited happiness. Even if she was not the one who owned his heart, at least there was one thing that Persephone could not compare to her when her husband was concerned.
"I believe it is time for me to leave. It would be terrible on my part, when I bring trouble upon my comrade for the moment." He knew that she was referring to her stepson.
Hades opened his mouth. He wanted to tell her to stay, make one last attempt in persuading her not leave the place that was her only safe haven, where she did not have to be reduced to a mere scorned wife and vengeful and unfair beast. How she could consider going back to the place, which made her unhappy for so long and where she never experienced any happiness, he could not understand. And it was not as though she cared what Zeus thought, she had stopped doing it for a long time, he knew.
"Very well." he sighed in defeat. It was her decision and just as she knew she could not get him to tell her anything, he knew that she would not change her mind, once it is set. And his last hope that her stubbornness made no exception, and that she would not change her mind concerning the divorce, only because Zeus made more empty promises to her.
"Then I guess, we have to part, yet again." she gave him a sad smile.
"Just take care." he said, turning around and starting to take steps away from her. Hera starred for a while at his back.
"You, too." she whispered and followed his example.
She thought that he had not heard her, just like he had not heard all the words she wanted to say actually, but those last two words that she had whispered, were indeed heard by him. For he turned back around, watching her carve her way towards her doom.
And that was when he was reminded of what he actually wanted to say to her, but just like her, could not bring himself to speak out-loud.
He wanted to tell her how much he regretted his actions, how deep he desired to say sorry to her and least of all, he wished that it was different, how he would have realized it sooner, how he could give her the happiness that she deserved and how he wished to say the words he had longed to say to her the moment he had realized what she meant to him and of all his wishing, he wished that she could knew. He had a lot of wishes and even more regrets, at least when it came to her. And in the end of the day, this was all that was there, foolishly wishing and regretting the words that remained unsaid.
Unspoked words are like poison, if you don't spit it out, it will eat you up inside.