-
"Ryuzaki?"
"Yes, Light-kun?"
He cleared his throat, averting his eyes to stare off into the distance, as if uninterested in the conversation. "Just out of curiosity… Is sense-of-adventure a guy or a girl?"
"What?"
"Earlier… you said that you would marry sense-of-adventure… I was wondering what gender sense of adventure is," he blurted out.
"Light-kun, you must understand, I was exaggerating a bit to make a point."
"I know that!" Faltering slightly, he went on, "I mean… Would you just answer the question?"
Ryuzaki blinked at him, as if this request were entirely absurd. "Sense-of-adventure is not a person or creature, it is a concept, and thus is neither gender."
"Hypothetically speaking," Light growled, "if sense-of-adventure WERE a person, would it be a male of a female?"
"Good question. It seems that society has imposed rules upon us that sense-of-adventure is a quality that should only be possessed by males. Though, if you're trying to imply that it should be equal, I suppose that a good case could be made for the argument that sense of adventure could be a female as well…"
"If you had to marry sense-of-adventure," he began again, more loudly "…Which gender would you prefer sense-of-adventure to be?"
There as a long pause, as Ryuzaki visibly worked out all the technicalities and possibilities of this scenario. "…Another good question. I'll get back to you."
"Ryuzaki, it's an easy question," Light sighed, annoyed "It's like… if I asked you to decide if you wanted cake or cookies."
"Can't I have both?"
"No. You have to decide… Though, I suppose, you could state that you like cake and cookies equally," he mused.
"Well, I do."
"Okay. Now apply that sort of thought process to the sense-of-adventure question."
"In that case, I do not like either cake or cookies."
"You what?"
He shrugged. "Not interested. The bakery on my street is closed."
Light gaped. "How can you…"
"I am not interested in cake, cookies, or anyone other form of sweets… I mean that metaphorically, of course."
Of course he did… "You mean you've never…"
"Nope."
"Not even…"
"It would be a bad idea for someone with my… condition… to even consider such things. I have, thus, made it a point, not to allow such feelings to endanger the wellbeing of others." He blinked slowly, then, speaking more to himself, "Maybe this is difficult for Light-kun to understand, as he has obviously never had an emotion which originates above the waist…"
"WHAT?! Ryuzaki--I am not--how can you even--"
"I simply making the point, Light-kun, that not all of us are crossbred with rabbits," he smirked.
Light had to clasp his hands together in order to fight back the very strong urge to punch him. "I have never--"
"Let's see… That I know about… You definitely had something going on with Mello; until you punched him, that is… and your little display last night…"
"MELLO?! Are you serious? Why do you think--"
Ryuzaki simply smirked up at the sky. "He was always all over you."
"Mello's always all over everyone!"
"I've never seen it that bad before."
Light was momentarily incapable to form a complete thought, let alone think of a reply - instead, he blurted out the first thought that was at least semi-intelligible: "It didn't mean anything!"
Which pretty much sealed his fate.
"Wait - Ryuzaki, I didn't mean--what I meant was… I mean… Mello's reaction doesn't mean that I feel the same way… I… That's didn't come out right--What I meant was that I never… Mello was just…"
Ryuzaki stared at him for another few seconds, then looked up at the sky, as if, having proved his point, he'd suddenly lost interest.
"I never--Mello was just a friend! He wasn't even that, I didn't like him that much…"
"Light-kun?"
"What?!"
"Please stop talking."
Gratefully, he did.
Light realized later that afternoon that his arrival as a new student really was cause for much talk and gossip. When he'd been the center of all of this attention, he'd scarcely noticed, but the arrival of yet another new student made him fully aware of exactly how much of a commotion it really did cause.
"…Wonder what his gift is…?"
"…Has anyone seen him? Is he good-looking…?"
"…I've heard some rumors about this kid - detention centers, mental institutions, the works…"
For his part, Light did his best to ignore all of this inane chatter, but it was proving difficult. Curiosity, as he was discovering, was an infectious thing. It was odd to see that, in the space of barely three hours, everyone's attention could be so suddenly directed at one single source.
Light was only mildly interested; he had enough to think about as it was, and some new student was really the least of his concerns. Ryuzaki seemed oblivious to the entire affair, and the look of interest on his face when Light half-heartedly tried to draw him into a conversation concerning this new arrival was no doubt misdirected at some sort of percentage that he was working out.
A percentage that likely did not involve--
"Beyond Birthday? What sort of name is that?"
Ah, so this mysterious enigma did have a name after all… Though, true enough, what sort of twisted parent would give their kid a name like that? Yikes.
With a shrug, he resumed the deep philosophical conversation he was having with Ryuzaki - this time, the subject was…
"Hmm… Do you think there are snowflakes in Hell…?"
…Good question.
"What the hell happened to you?!"
"Matt. Calm down," Near tried to reason, putting a hand on his friend's arm, half a comforting gesture, and half a restraining one.
Mat jerked away. "No, I will not calm down!" He pointing accusingly at Mello, who was simply looking back at him sadly. "Haven't you noticed that there's something wrong with him?!"
"Perhaps he has been a little off," Near conceded. "But that's no reason to get so worked up."
Ignoring him, Matt instead leaned across the table, grabbing hold of the front of Mello's shirt. "Who are you, and what have you done with Mello?!" It was a serious question; by Matt's reasoning, there was no way that this quiet, sad person could be his loud-mouthed, annoying friend.
Mello simply stared at him.
"Say something!" Matt growled desperately. Anything - be mad at me… hate me… just something, anything…
And, for a moment, it looked as though Mello was about to fly into a rage - scream and loudly announce that he didn't appreciate Matt invading his personal space, or that he'd say something if he felt like it, or that he wasn't going to be bossed around--
The moment passed. That cold, resigned look reclaimed his expression.
Somehow, anger would have been preferable.
There was a long silence, then, slowly, as if in a trance, Mello raised one hand, and gripped Matt's wrist firmly with oddly cold fingers. "Take your hands off of me, Matt, or I will make you."
If there had been any doubt before, it was banished now. Matt knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that something was terribly, horribly wrong.
He released his grip on Mello's shirt, sinking back into his seat with a heavy sigh, trying to ignore the curiously tearful sensation that was quickly making itself known.
Mello eyed him levelly, then shrugged slightly, got to his feet, and walked away.
"I suppose that's the new student."
"What? Where?"
Ryuzaki shrugged. "Just look in the general direction that everyone else is looking. Seems logical enough to me."
True. Light decided to follow this advice, glancing across the room towards where the rest of the student body's attention was focused. And, so, he caught his first glimpse of Beyond Birthday.
The kid looked like somewhat of a cross between Light and Ryuzaki - dark hair and pale skin, but neat and orderly, right down to the perfectly ironed black shirt he wore. In all truth, it didn't look like any piece of him was entirely unique - thin, but well muscled, like Mello, nonchalant as Matt, expressionless as Near. His hair, while rather long, was perfectly styled, showing the same cultivated attention as Teru Mikami's. In short, Beyond Birthday looked the creation of some crazed Doctor Frankenstein, like bits and pieces that he'd seen on others and decided to copy.
And so, due to this fact, this entire lack of individuality, he should have simply blended into the crowd. He shouldn't have stood out at all, but for some reason, he did stand out. He did nothing to draw the looks he was getting from all around the room. In fact, he acted just as any other student, like a chameleon adapting to it's environment as a survival technique. He looked normal, acted normal, and yet, there was some sort of intensity about him that seemed to draw curious looks.
After watching this new arrival for a few moments, Light concluded that there was nothing in Beyond Birthday's posture, his stride, or even the slightest of his movements that was anything out of the ordinary. Nothing that radiated intensity, but…
As if sensing that Light was watching him, he turned suddenly, looking across the room and locking their gazes.
And there was something unique.
Beyond Birthday's eyes were wide, and dark. Much like Ryuzaki's, but that scarcely would have caught anyone's attention. What was so different, was that even from such a distance, there was something of a fanatic gleam in those eyes, a look that could best be described as purely cruel; almost madness, but wickedly beautiful at the same time.
He blinked, and smiled.
Light shivered.
"You seem to have made yourself a new friend," Ryuzaki commented. It wasn't very surprising to find that he'd been watching the entire exchange.
"Yeah," Light agreed under his breath, dropping his gaze to stare at his own hands. There was something unnerving about Beyond Birthday's eyes, something threatening - as though, if one were to look into them for too long, they would cast some sort of wicked spell…
"Typically, this is the point where you would introduce yourself."
"Don't want to," was the clipped reply.
Ryuzaki didn't argue any further - Light added this to a long list of things that he simply loved about his roommate. Never asked too many questions.
Ergh. He had a list now? This disturbing thought was almost enough to make him forget that unnerving stare…
…Almost.
"Hopefully you remember the agreement that we reached earlier, regarding your cuddlesome tendencies."
Could that be a smile…?
"I remember." Light nodded curtly, making it a point of sitting down on his own bed. Slightly annoyed at Ryuzaki's insinuation, however, he went on, with a look of feigned innocence directed at the ceiling, "How's your arm feeling today, by the way?"
Ooh. Now it was just a glare.
"Go to sleep, Light-kun."
"I'm just checking to see if your remember our other agreement," he replied airily.
"I have a photographic memory, so your concern, while touching, is wasted."
"Hmm. Alright. If you remember our agreement, then are you sticking to it?"
"Light-kun, since you have spent every conscious and unconscious moment of the last twenty-four hours in my presence, I don't see how you think that I've even had the opportunity to break that promise." Even though Ryuzaki was just as monotone as ever, there was something of a warning in his words - and that warning was "Drop it".
"If you had the opportunity, would you?"
Without hesitation, "No."
"C'mon. If there were absolutely no way that I would find out…"
"Still no," was the firm reply.
"Okay. What if I was dead?"
He whipped around, fixing Light with a horrified stare. "Why would Light-kun be dead? Is Light-kun anticipating--"
"Just hypothetically," he assured, waving a hand.
"Hypothetically, I do not wish to imagine of any scenario in which Light-kun would be dead," Ryuzaki answered, his eyes widening even further, as if surprised at this concept.
"Hmm." Light sat back thoughtfully. "Alright, what if I never existed?"
"Then we wouldn't have an agreement in the first place."
True. Apparently, Ryuzaki couldn't quite grasp on the hypothetical part… "Fine," he ground out. "Just for a minute, imagine that I'm dead. It doesn't matter how. Would you break the agreement?"
"Light-kun, it does matter how. If it were my fault--"
"If it were your fault, would you?"
"Yes."
Finally, they were getting somewhere. "Okay, how about if it's not your fault?"
"There are too many variables."
"No. Just answer the question. I'm dead. It's not your fault. Do you break your promise?"
"No."
"And Mello's being a jerk," Light added, smirking.
"Tempting, but still no."
"And you just ran out of marshmallows."
"You're pushing your luck."
"C'mon," Light pressed, "would you?"
Ryuzaki tilted his head to the side, as if analyzing the question from this angle would give him some sort of new insight. "No. I would be too busy being sad about your nonexistence."
"Hmm. Interesting."
"What is, Light-kun?"
"It seems that the only circumstances in which you would break your promise, would be if you had killed me. Then…" Deliberately mimicking Ryuzaki's tone and posture, he leaned forward into a horribly slouching crouch, even going so far as to begin chewing his thumbnail, as he had seen his roommate do far too many times, "it is logical to conclude that Ryuzaki-kun would kill me if the temptation to break his promise became too great."
"I find that particularly tasteless, Light-kun."
"Do you really?" He didn't move from the pose he'd struck.
"I think Light-kun is feeling starved for attention," Ryuzaki surmised after a short pause.
Light sat back, giving up. No one but Ryuzaki could hold that pose for long. And he made it look easy… "Enlighten me, then – why, exactly, do you think that?"
"Because you've began making fun of immaterial aspects of my personality – such as my speaking habits. This complied with the fact that I have just stated that I would not feel suicidal tendencies if you were to die, and the fact that Light-kun typically demands attention and love from all surrounding parties." He leaned closer, copying the pose the Light had been unable to hold moments ago with almost feline grace. "It's logical to conclude that he might act rashly out of a desire to gain attention."
Light rolled his eyes, ignoring this. "Why do you do that, Ryuzaki? Refer to me in the third person, even when you're talking to me?"
"I think of others in the third person. I don't see why the spoken word should be any different."
"Because it's proper grammar!" Light snapped, fidgeting irritably with the collar of his shirt. Honestly… logic could be so annoying at times.
"If Light-kun feels so strongly about this, then I will make a conscious effort to refer to him in the second person when we are speaking."
"I don't mind, Ryuzaki… It's just more personal if you aren't always referring to me like a test subject or something…"
"I had no idea that Light-kun wanted me to be even more personal with him."
"…Pervert."
"You're the cuddly one."
Light nearly laughed, but he managed to choke it off, and instead just ended up making a strange, strangled noise which caused Ryuzaki to look at him oddly.
"Is Light-kun okay?"
"Fine," he said quickly.
"What was that noise?"
"Nothing."
"I'm worried about Light-kun's wellbeing." And indeed, he did look worried. Well, about as worried as you could look without changing your expression in the slightest. Hmm. Ryuzaki must just have really expressive eyes...
"It's nothing, Ryuzaki. I laughed - that's all."
"Why? Did something amuse you?"
"At the time, a little bit." He shifted uncomfortably under his roommate's analyzing stare. "What, you mean to tell me that you've never found anything funny?"
"Of course I have, Light-kun. Just not in the way that others typically think," he deadpanned.
"Oh? What do you find funny, then?"
"Truthfully? Like when a fat kid drops their ice cream on the ground and starts crying - well, what with child obesity rates, it's like they're crying because they just lost a chance to consume some two hundred plus calories. It's ironic." He examined the ceiling pensively, then, "Also, I think that Light-kun's cuddliness is rather amusing."
With a growl, Light turned sharply away. "Would you quit bringing that up?"
"I'm simply pondering over the fact that Light-kun has yet to explain his motives for last night's antics," Ryuzaki replied coolly.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't have an ulterior motive?"
"There's always an ulterior motive," he assured, with obvious confidence. "I don't believe that you acted without reason."
"Maybe I did."
"No."
"Fine, then. What do you think my motive was?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out… When I take into consideration your keen interest in my cake and cookies preferences…" He trailed off, letting the unspoken words dangle in the air, almost threateningly. Light simply stared back at him, unblinking. "But then," he began again, "considering the two people involved, I find that conclusion to be illogical. Only a five percent likelihood that it is correct. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense… Unless Light-kun is trying to manipulate me by making me believe that he has taken a romantic interest in me… Or, as he must have anticipated that I would draw that conclusion, and perhaps he wants me to think that he's manipulating me?"
"Why the hell would I do that?" Light said, furrowing his brow in confusion.
"I would assume that, for whatever reason, you want me to be suspicious of you?"
Light ran a hand over his face. "Ergh. Ryuzaki, this conversation is giving me a headache. Rest assured, I am not manipulating you in any way, shape, or form."
"Indeed. Perhaps Light-kun should get some sleep."
Light nodded in agreement, collapsing heavily on his bed, and pulling a pillow over his face.
Barely thirty seconds later, he sat bolt upright again. "Hang on - what'd you mean, 'considering the two people involved'?"
"I simply meant that it would be irrational for Light-kun to have a romantic interest in me."
"Why would that be irrational?!"
"Because Light-kun knows that I do not like baked goods of any kind, and also that it is impossible for me to have a romantic relationship, as I do not wish to kill anyone. Light-kun also obviously knows that he could find a much more attractive individual to direct such feelings at."
"Would you quit putting yourself down like that?" Hmm. Felt as though they'd had this conversation before… Oh, right, they had. About fifty times.
"I am simply stating a fact."
"It's not a fact, and I'm not that shallow," he grouched, actually crossing his arms. A bit childish, but whatever...
"You are, however, practical. Such a pursuit would be very, very dangerous."
"You say it like I have a choice," an odd, strangely sad voice uttered.
Dead silence.
With horror, Light realized it had been his voice that had spoken those words - those damning words.
Oh shit.
"That's not entirely what I meant," he began slowly, realizing even as he spoke that it was hopeless.
"Sixty-seven percent."
Yikes. Okay, at least it wasn't a hundred…
"And I'm going to request that Emily finds you any other room to stay in."
Oh, okay. At least he wasn't freaking out or anything…
…Hang on.
"Wait - what?"
"I do not wish to have Light-kun as my roommate any more."
The words rang out, loud and clear, like a death knell.
Light's heart stopped upon a beat, only to resume at a furious pace, each ragged beat pounding furiously in his head as he tried in vain to deny what he had just heard.. "All because of your stupid sixty-seven percent?!"
"Actually, it's up to seventy now. I do not wish Light-kun to be hurt. Or worse. That would mean that I would deviate from our agreement, and I don't think Light-kun wants that."
"Ryuzaki, come on, you know I didn't mean that!" he exclaimed. He's smart, he has to realize that it was an honest mistake, Light reminded himself desperately, grasping at that thought, as a drowning man snatches at shreds of straw.
"I would sincerely hope not," Ryuzaki replied, his tone edged with a dark note. "However, I think that it would be more practical not to risk it."
Damn it. Now, the more he argued, the more that percentage was going to go up…
And, with a resigned sigh, Light once again pulled the pillow over his head.
"Good night, Light-kun."
"Hmph."
Infuriating. He'd have to find some way around this tomorrow… any further protest tonight would be like driving the final nail into the coffin…
Or maybe there was another way around it…. Maybe… just maybe…
Oh no. He didn't even want to consider that. But… if there was a chance…
He didn't see anyway that he could achieve a 'happy ending' otherwise. Not Ryuzaki's roommate anymore… No baked goods of any sort… No touching…
Yes, things were certainly doomed, unless…
He glared through the darkness, imaging for a moment that he could see the tall, dark figure that was the constant fixture of his dreams looming there. Well played, he thought bleakly. Well played.
Damn Ryuzaki.
Damn dreams.
Damn double-chocolate sugar cookies.
-
As always, Light found himself standing outside, under a waning crescent moon. There was a soft chatter of nighttime animals from just behind the bushes, but Light scarcely cared. He knew the way this was going to play out. The same as always. Like a movie…
The crunch of footsteps on autumn leaves was the only thing to signal Kira's approach.
"Light."
"Kira."
The dream apparition simply smiled. "I think we have a lot to talk about."
Light nodded. "Yes," he agreed. "We do."
-