Chapter 9.
It was strange at first. We were getting so many reactions. Apparently is was unknown that Remus liked me or that I like him, and for people to see us together was simply mind-blowing. Or maybe I was always oblivious to it all. That was probably it. I was pretty oblivious to most everything except what happens in Slug Club and in my dungeon.
November went by like November. There was the Slytherin-Gryffindor match, in which Gryffindor won. James had scored maybe five goals before Jeffery Jakes caught the Snitch. And then Remus got sick again the first week of December. Di was especially busy with Quidditch practice, so I hardly ever saw her around, and when I did it was just a few hellos and goodbyes (besides the fact we had Herbology together). Lily and I, however, made a regular schedule to meet up twice a week to work on Charms and Transfiguration for me. When Lily came down with the flu, I wanted to cancel lessons (for obvious reasons, I wasn't getting very far), but Lily insisted I continue.
I left the hospital wing, groaning because Madam Pomfrey said I couldn't see Lily, but she wanted to let me know about lessons. And Remus already volunteered for the position.
I sat down at one of the tables in the common room and took out my Transfiguration book and set my wand on top of it. I slouched back in the chair and folded my arms across my chest. I didn't move when I felt a pair of hands give my shoulders a good squeeze.
"Don't look so cheerful, Sal," Remus chuckled, leaning down and pecking me on the cheek. He came around the table and sat across from me, sliding my book towards him. He opened it and skimmed through some of the pages. He looked tired as usual.
"Shall we?" he asked, not looking at me, but grinning all the same.
Rolling my eyes I huffed.
"Yeah, so get on with it already."
He chuckled lightly.
"You don't actually care to make good marks on your Transfiguration exams, d'you?" he asked after some time when I kept failing to turn a feather into a pencil. It looked like some kind of mushy goo spreading slowly on the table. At least nothing was on fire… Not yet.
I glared at him, a little frustrated with myself. It was embarrassing enough not being able to do simple magic, but to have Remus see me falter about…. It just wasn't appealing.
He just smiled warmly at me, obviously not concerned about my being mad at him for trying to help me.
"Take it easy, Sal. It's okay to mess up, you should know." The look he gave me was reassuring. "Think about what it is the feather"—which he flicked his wand at the goo and turned it back into a feather—"should look like. It's just concentration."
"Which I lack."
He laughed.
"No, you definitely have concentration. You've been concentrating on that potion, which is probably why this turned into slime."
I nodded, realizing I had been thinking about the damn wolfsbane again. I set my wand on the table and rested my head in my hand.
"I'm just not cut out for wand magic," I muttered angrily.
He reached across the table and took my left and. He interlocked our fingers.
"I think you're just been hard on yourself. Potions takes just about as much magic as working a wand."
I gave a slight nod.
"There's just pressure from Mother about David always making high marks in Charms and Transfiguration and how I'm just a failure because I can't do anything." There were only a few moments in my life when I could talk about this in the tone that I used. I generally tried not to look weak.
He looked at me quizzically. I also started to see where this conversation was headed and could feel my heart racing in my throat.
"Does she not care about your Potions mark?" he asked, quietly, giving my hand a firm squeeze.
I shook my head, somber.
"No, she thinks it's useless. That I need to do something 'proper' with my life beside wild fantasies about brewing potions."
"But your dad was good in Potions, right? I remember you mentioning something about that…"
I nodded
"Yeah, he was. Taught me more than I think he thought he ever did."
I dropped my voice and licked my lips.
"Dad wasn't normal," I whispered. He leaned closer to me, looking at me with those eyes of his. "He… Well… He was different. I didn't find out about it until much later, actually…" I sighed, trying to put together the words in my head. "He used to work on Potions a lot, but after our camping trip when he got hurt, he became obsessed with it. And that's when he started to teach me. David had no interest in it whatsoever." I looked away at the tapestry hanging from the wall, not really seeing it. Remus's thumb was stroking my hand softly. Deciding quickly that I should continue telling him the story, I did.
"Dad went off some ways into the woods to get some more firewood, telling David to watch me. He was gone only maybe, if memory serves right, fifteen minutes. I screamed when I heard the yells and the howl. David covered my mouth with his hand and told me to shush. I got quiet, listening, looking at David and then back to where Dad had disappeared into the woods."
Remus's jaw dropped a little. His hand felt rather warm now. And clammy. He had tightened his grip a little more.
"Mother found out later, when they were having an argument, I think. Dad told me he was making himself a cure…" A tear escaped my eye and slowly fell down my cheek. "He… he said he got bit by something that… that no one had a cure for yet… And he was going to make it."
Remus looked down at the table, releasing his grip on my hand, and letting his fall into his lap. He sighed heavily.
"So, that's what you've been working on?" he mumbled, almost so quiet that I could barely hear him. He didn't look at me, but a thin line appeared between his eyebrows. He was doing some serious thinking.
I nodded.
"Mhmm." I sniffed and blinked away a few tears. He probably thinks I'm mad now, I thought, angrily at myself. But he was going to have to figure out one of these days why I'm cooped up in the dungeon all day long.
"Was he a werewolf?" he asked, his voice still low.
I snapped my concentration back at him My lack of reaction was all he needed.
"Huh," was all Remus did.
I grimaced.
"Ok, enough of this sad, depressing talk," I said, perking my demeanor and standing up. "We need to go and do rounds at some point tonight." I began to pack away my book when Remus gave me a cocky grin, something he must have picked up from Sirius.
"You mean, go find a place to hide away from everyone here in the common room?"
I slung my bag over my shoulder and gave him a look, crossing my arms.
"What did you have in mind, Lupin?" I asked, a smile escaping my serious face.
He gave a half shrug, looking over to the side and smiling.
"Nothing… Just doing rounds…"
I rolled my eyes at him.
"Why would we have to hide anywhere? We could just go up to your dormitory."
He looked at me, faking to be shocked.
"How could you even suggest that, Sallie? That's just outright against the rules."
"Your friends say rules are made to be broken."
He rolled his eyes, grinning.
"If you say so," he said and, plucking up some courage, stood up and kissed me in the middle of the common room.
"Well, what about a spectacular Christmas party, for those of us that are here?" Mary MacDonald asked as we sat in various chairs in the Slug Club room. The whole Club was here: Ravenclaws Kevin and Mackenzi Maestro; Gryffindors Mary, Lily, Patricia McKinness and Matthew Thompson; Hufflepuffs Lucy Travini, and Jacob Peppers; and Slytherins John Lefervian and Regulus Black. The eleven of us. Kevin and Lucy were in their last year, with Jacob being the youngest as a fourth year. Patricia, Matthew, and Regulus were fifth years; and Mackenzi, Mary, Lily, John, and I were sixth years. Slughorn has mentioned before that this is the biggest this group has ever been. But he only chooses people he sees as possibly influential or powerful. "I mean, I do know that some of us are definitely staying…."
She glanced at me and at the other Gryffindors.
Kevin Procterson grimaced.
"A Christmas party? Generally we have a dinner here. What are you thinking, Mary?"
John gave him a look.
"I like Mary's idea. It's different, much like the Halloween ball being Mackenzie's idea."
Kevin rolled his eyes.
"And we saw how that turned out," he mumbled, looking over at her. She gave him a look.
"You just don't like new ideas, Kevin," she retorted.
He shrugged his shoulders.
"I like new ideas, just not stupid ones."
I shut my notebook with as loud of a clap that I could.
"Enough bickering," I snapped. Everyone looked at me. It wasn't uncommon for me to have to do this. Everyone looked at me.
"You do know that Slughorn calls these events 'parties', yes?" Patricia said, her voice calming a little, but still giving Kevin the evil-eye. "I mean, I'm not going to go all out about what we should argue about or not, it's just that I see no sense in arguing over it."
Lucy nodded.
"Kevin," she said, tucking her curl brown hair behind her ear, "just open up your ears for once to knew things." She gave him a warm smile. "And stop making a fuss about everything…."
There was a murmur of agreement as he slumped in his chair in defeat.
I rolled my eyes and saw Regulus sitting back in the darkest chair, his face somber. He was staring in to the fire, lost in thought it looked.
"Well, I guess we can discuss this stuff later." Kevin stood up and yawned, stretching his arms, which was completely fake. He didn't like losing to all of us. "It's getting late. We all better get to bed."
Chatter started as everyone began to leave. Regulus, however, remained where he was.
Lily came up to me.
"C'mon, Sal. We need to work on your charms a bit before bed," she laughed, trying to joke around.
I looked at her and stood up, tucking my book into my bag and strapping it over my shoulder.
"I really hate that class," I laughed back. I looked again at Regulus, who sat as still as ever. Lily followed my gaze.
"You think it's about what I think it is?" Lily whispered as we left the room with him in it.
When we got to the staircase and began climbing did I answer her.
"I think so. I wonder if Di told Sirius and if Sirius yelled at him, or Di yelled at Regulus and now Regulus is upset."
Lily shrugged.
"Not much we can really do about it," she said. "I wish we could…."
I nodded.
Silently we continued our way up to the common room and took the seats closest to the fire. Lily took out her Charms' book as I decided that maybe I should get to work on my Arithmancy homework. We worked on our various subjects silently, until our precious silence (mind you, we weren't paying attention to the mindless chattings of some third year girls, gossiping about boys) was disturbed by Peter and James.
They took seats near us and began a conversation on their own. Lily looked at me and rolled her eyes, sighing heavily as she buried her nose back into her book. I put down my pencil and took a glance at my cousin. He looked at me and winked.
"You staying here, Sal?" he asked. Apparently my looking at him meant he could talk.
"For Christmas?"
He nodded, adjusting his glasses, glancing over my shoulder at Lily before answering me.
"Yeah."
I shrugged.
"I don't think so. I think I need to stay here and mind my potion over break. Don't want anyone messing with it."
James laughed.
"You don't trust anyone, d'you?"
"I do to trust people. I just don't trust you!" I laughed.
He gave a cocky grin, knowing I was joking with him, and then focused on Lily.
"You staying here, Evans?"
She rolled her eyes in disgust, not looking at him.
"No. I'm going home, Potter," she sneered, shutting her book and standing up.
"Oh, well, damn."
And with that, Lily said good night to me and went up to the dormitory, leaving me with James and Peter.
"What about you?" I asked, ignoring Peter's laughter, and turning back to James after watching Lily climb the stairs. "Are you going home?"
I could see a light in James' eye flicker out as he gave a nod.
"Yeah," he said, trying to hide something in his voice. "But Wormtail's staying, I think…." He looked over at Peter, who gave him a nod.
"Yeah, I'm staying here. Mum said it didn't matter to her if I came home or not. Thought I'd keep Moony company."
James nodded as if he agreed or even understood that. He grinned at me.
"So, you and Moony going to get lucky this holiday?" he asked, winking.
I gave him a disgusted look.
"And what, pray tell, did you have mind?" I asked, leaning back and folding my arms across my chest.
"Y'know…. Hanky-panky."
He and Peter laughed as I gave them a sly smile.
"That's none of your business, Prongs."
James rolled his eyes, that grin of his never leaving his face.
"Moony'll never do that to my little cousin."
"I'm only a month younger."
"Still, you're my little cousin." He stuck his tongue out childishly.
"I dunno, Prongs," piped in Peter, "I think you should be worried about her doing something to Moony…."
James looked at him.
"Sallie will never!"
I had to laugh at them and roll my eyes.
Peter yawned.
"Alright, I'm headed off to bed. 'Night." And he got up and went up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.
James turned back to me and his expression fell.
"You and your mum having problems again?" he asked, getting up to sit next to me on the sofa. He leaned forward and clasped his hands together, looking at me.
I sighed.
"When are we not?"
He snorted.
"True. You tell her that you had a boyfriend?"
"Yeah, I did. And in her letter back she wanted details and all sorts of other stuff. How come my mother seems to be the one with the pure-blood ideals?"
He shrugged.
"To be different from Dad, I s'pose."
He looked away into the fire, his hands nervously rubbing each other.
"James?" I asked quietly, looking at him. "Is everything okay?"
"Mum's sick…" he said almost too quietly.
"Again? She's been getting sick a lot lately…"
He nodded.
"Dad seemed upset in the last letter he sent. I dunno what to do."
I sighed.
"Going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" I asked gently.
He shrugged.
"Maybe. Could get Mum a present, just don't know if it would matter much."
I hit him in the arm.
"Don't say that! You're acting as if she's going to die!"
He slouched back and looked up at the ceiling.
"Dad was putting it that way. The Healers don't know what to do, he said. That there wasn't anything they could do…."
I didn't take my eyes off of him. He continued to look up at the ceiling, his eyes beginning to fill with tears. I put my arm around him. He fell into it and rested his head on my shoulder and cried.