Getting There

by Lli

The sexual education of Artemis Fowl. Includes: a steep learning curve, multiple partners, too much gin, too much coffee, Oscar Wilde, pithy commentary from Minerva Paradizo, an unsurprising Holly Short cameo, and a sappy happy ending. Set several years after the series. And, despite the characters listed, I'm afraid there's no A/M. She's in love with Butler. Come on, people.

10. Chapter 10

Time for something a little more upbeat. And, no, I'm sorry, this isn't really a chapter. But gosh, I love Butler and Minerva.

Ilex-ferox is, as per usual, the world's most fabulous beta.

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August 25th

"Just come, won't you? It's the last of them, I promise. I swear."

"On what?" Artemis' voice was sceptical over the phone.

"On my newly signed contract with Trinity College."

"Your what?" He looked across the table to Butler. "Butler, why didn't you tell me—"

"Shut up, Artemis!"

"But I thought he knew everything?" Artemis drawled.

"Stop being a prat. It's a surprise."

"I have things to do," Artemis grumbled.

"It's the last one. Don't leave me all alone."

"Alright, alright. I'll fly down tonight."

"Pass the phone to Butler?"

"No, I have no desire to sit here while you coo at my bodyguard in that sickeningly saccharine way only the truly nauseatingly in love can produce. Honestly, the two of you are—"

The line went dead. Put out, Artemis frowned down at his phone.

Across the table, Butler's mobile rang. "I should probably get that," he said, trying not to smile.

"Bah!" said Artemis, and went to pack.