WARNING: This chapter contains a lot of RaitoxL work. Meaning, if you don't want to read about them making out, then when you see the line If only please skip the rest of that segment until the next break in scene. Thank you.

A/N: So, I decided that waiting till after exams is silly. Very silly. But still, Math was so stressful that I think I actually ruptured a blood vessel in my brain. Gods. Whoever came up with this sillyness that is Provincials should be shot. Multiple times. First in the kneecaps ((angry grumbling)).

So, before I let you all carry on with reading this delightful chapter, I have some good news! I. Got. Published! That's right, my writing is going to show up in a book. An actual, real live, print worthy, book! I am ecstatic! Like, I mean jumping-off-the-walls-before-falling-on-the-ground-because-of-a-seizure ecstatic! I shall give you all more updates on the actual printing of the book and whatnot at a later date. Right now, I just want to eat grilled cheese ((completely random)).

This chapter I was listening to a slew of music. Inside of You - Hoobastank; Hollow - Submersed; Victoriam Speramus - Krypteria and Uhn Tiss - Bloodhound Gang.

Chapter 10
Welcome Home

Raito stared down at the computer, hands poised for action. His mind, however, was not on task, and none of the neurons that fired so rapidly within his overdeveloped cranium were doing anything at the moment. It was as if his thoughts had taken a short break, leaving an empty shell behind. He didn't know what brought about this sudden onslaught of mind numbness; he just felt it eating slowly away at his sanity.

The bed creaked beside him and he finally snapped out of his reverie. Glancing to the side, he saw L with his head cocked to the side, watching him with hooded eyes. Raito raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

L continued to watch, the silence between the two stretching. Raito had a sudden urge to inquire why. He didn't know what would come after the why; he just wanted to say it, gauge the reaction L would give him.

Ryuuzaki leaned back slightly, one hand resting just left of Raito's hip. He frowned before looking at the computer, obviously contemplating something. Raito closed the laptop, eyes scanning for something in L's blank face.

"Why?"

The words slipped out without Raito's consent and he cursed his mind for once more forgoing rationality and being spontaneous. L blinked at him slowly, thumbnail attached quite attractively to his lip.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Raito sighed. Of course L wouldn't get it. No one truly understood what was happening to Raito, how his mind was slowly disintegrating all because of a silly insomniac and his silly feeling inducing powers. Raito winced visibly, he had not just thought up that sentence. Coherent thought was eluding him in a desperate attempt to destroy his sanity. And he was letting it.

Ryuuzaki stood, and Raito followed him with his eyes. L glanced over his shoulder as he wandered away, one hand making a slight beckoning motion. Raito sighed and pushed himself off the bed, following the insomniac into the kitchenette located adjacent to their bedroom. He leaned against the door frame, arms crossed as he watched L dig through the cupboards, obviously searching for sugary sustenance.

"Why?"

This time, Raito had contemplated the outcome of such a statement, and he concluded that he had nothing left to lose. His sanity, his pride, even his sexuality, were all lost amongst a torrent of confusion. Just this once, he wanted to instigate the hell that he was living in and push it towards someone else. He wanted to feel a slight sliver of hope.

Of course, Raito now knew that hoping was something equally as foreign as L.

"Raito-kun, I do not understand your sudden fascination with that word. Many things could be concluded from 'why'. What is it you wish to know?"

L continued to dig through the cupboards, and it became obvious to Raito that he wasn't actually looking for anything. He was simply searching for a way to keep his hands busy. Frowning, Raito walked forward, body invading L's personal bubble. The insomniac stopped his frivolous searching to turn slightly, eyes narrowed.

"Why won't you let me in?"

L's eyes widened and he turned fully, mouth opened slightly as if to speak. Raito leaned forward, trapping the detective between himself and the counter. L then frowned, eyebrows furrowing as he brought his thumbnail to his lips.

"Stockholm syndrome."

Raito could feel his brain stalling, "What?"

"You are suffering from Stockholm syndrome, Raito-kun," explained L, his eyes taking on a frantic appearance. "This explains your feelings and sudden behaviour changes. You aren't expressing true emotions towards me; your mind is suffering from a disease." The more L talked, the more it seemed he believed his own thesis. Raito stayed silent, "So, if I leave you alone, without the chain hindering you and –"

Raito cut off the detective, placing a delicate hand over his lips, "Ryuuzaki, you realize how ridiculous you sound, correct?"

The investigator batted his hand away, "It explains everything."

Raito sighed, "It explains nothing."

L pushed at him, seemingly ignoring Raito's statements, "So, we shall confine you –" "Ryuuzaki, we've done that already." " – and you will become better. And there will be no more hindrances and the investigation can proceed smoothly and –"

Again, Raito clapped his hand over L's mouth, eyes narrowing, "Now you're making me angry. What is so repulsive about loving me?"

L's eyes seemed to grow impossibly wide and his hands came up to grip Raito's shirt. His eyes flicked to the sides, and Raito dropped his hand. Finally he seemed to regain his composure and lifted his ebony orbs to meet Raito's unyielding gaze.

"Nothing is wrong with love, Raito-kun. However, I have been raised with the belief that love does not exist for everyone. And I seem to fall into that category. Regardless of what you think you feel, it is in fact false. You have Amane-san, I have...well, I do not have anyone, but I am all right with that. So long as I keep in mind that I do not need love, then love will not hinder my abilities to do my career." L looked away, his hands absently clenching Raito's shirt tighter. "You need not worry about me, Raito-kun. I am fine this way; I have been for most of my life. There is no need to pity me, or fake such emotion. I will understand."

L pushed at him harder, one fist connecting with his shoulder. Raito was forced to take a step back, and L was by him in a flash, rushing towards the bedroom. Raito followed after him, eyes narrowed. He caught up to L in the living room, grabbing the other's shoulder and spinning him.

"Why are you bent on this fake emotion theory? What is so wrong about love?" snarled Raito.

"Love is false. It is simply an illusion created during lust in order to justify actions done to preserve the species. Love is nonexistent in my world, so therefore you shouldn't bother yourself with trying to understand my beliefs. I am returning to the investigation, now. Please, get some rest," L made his way to the door, has hands wringing together. Raito caught him before he placed his hand on the handle, spinning him once more.

Raito felt something inside him snap when he stared into those lifeless eyes, and he lifted L's chin with a finger, "Bullshit."

And Raito dropped his lips to L's. The detective inhaled in shock and for a few moments, he struggled against Raito's lips, obviously trying to reinforce what he had stated before. But it was of no use. Eventually, he melted against the other youth, hands fisted tightly in Raito's shirt and eyes scrunched closed. Raito pulled away as the kiss deepened into something more, ignoring the way L's eyes pleaded for him to lean down once again.

"What you were taught when you were younger was wrong," started Raito, eyes burrowing into Ryuuzaki's, "Love – well, I'm not entirely sure what love is. But it seems impossible that not everyone can find love, and you are genius enough to realize this."

This seemed to bring L back to himself. He pushed against Raito, but there was no strength in his movements. He seemed to have given up, eyes half lidded and worry etched upon his features.

"I can't love," L whispered, before seemingly regaining his strength and shouldering Raito out of the way. He seemed at a loss as to where to go, his previous destination forgotten. Raito grit his teeth and stalked after the detective, reaching out to grab him once again.

"If you touch me, I will be forced to restrain you," stated L, his voice back to being bland and monotone.

Raito ignored the warning and grabbed L's collar, dragging him back against him. L whirled and landed a punch on Raito's cheek, watching him with hooded eyes as the teen recoiled in shock. Rage burst forth and Raito retaliated, hitting the other with a sharp jab to the stomach before striking him across the face. L ducked, causing Raito to lose his balance and the insomniac shot out a foot, taking out Raito's legs and causing the brunette to fall onto the coffee table, back hitting painfully against the edge. L stood and nodded in finality as he turned to walk away.

Raito, however, had other plans. He struggled to his feet and tackled the detective just as L turned to say something. They fell to the floor and Raito pinned L's hands above his head as he stared down at the struggling man. L fought viciously, managing only once to knee Raito in the stomach. After that, Raito sat on his thighs, holding him down as they both caught their breath.

"You are so infuriating!" snarled Raito, the words spilling from his lips, "You can't accept anything I say, but the minute I kiss you, it's as if you're emotions are let free. Do you not understand what you are putting me through, Ryuuzaki? Every time you touch me, kiss me, even anger me, I can't help but feel you have no clue what you're doing. You may be a genius, but when it comes to human relationships, you're at a loss aren't you?"

L said nothing, just glanced away from the smouldering eyes of the brunette above him. Raito allowed a sigh of agitation to escape his lips, "Ryuuzaki, what you're doing to me; you're basically asking for something more in our relationship. Friends don't – they just don't kiss each other, or touch each other with such intimacy as you have been doing. It pains me to say this, but if everything you have done, every kiss, touch and signal, has been done solely because you thought it was friendship, I will leave you alone. But please, stop torturing me. I cannot take it anymore."

Raito hung his head, keeping his eyes from meeting the one beneath him. Slowly, he released L's wrists, and placed his hands carefully beside the insomniac's head, dreading the answer that L was going to give him. He had just bared his soul, ignoring the rationality of his mind and going, once more, with instinct. But it was better to know L's true feelings instead of worrying over when he was going to get his next kiss.

He sighed when L gave no answer, or even a motion of answering, and sat up, hands running repeatedly through his mahogany locks before he stood.

"I understand."

Raito pivoted and wandered towards the bedroom, his chest constricting painfully and an unfamiliar sensation starting behind his eyes. He ignored the soft noise that seemed to emit from L, and closed the door behind him, turning the lock and allowing himself to slide down the door. The agony in his chest grew and he clutched at it absently as moisture gathered in his eyes. He grunted before wiping his hand over his lids and put his forehead on his knees, tugging furiously on his hair. It wasn't fair.

Oddly enough, Raito felt more burdened than before, as if his confession weighed him down instead of lightening him. He wanted to just crawl into bed and sleep, but he knew that hope was farfetched. There was no way in hell he was going to manage to sleep with L beside him. Perhaps L wouldn't even come to bed tonight; maybe the insomniac would stay out in the living room and return to being stoic and unfeeling.

"Fuck," hissed Raito, banging his head softly against the door before standing. He wandered over to the bed and flopped down on it, burrowing his face into the soft pillow.

He officially gave up. There was no need to keep pushing L to return his feelings. It was silly now that he thought about it. He was acting like the love struck teenage girls in his school, cooing over him as he walked by and trying to make him notice their advances. Suddenly, he despised himself. Of course L wouldn't return his feelings. Raito had done nothing but cajole him into doing everything.

But it still hurt. Raito wrapped his arms around his pillow and closed his eyes. Feigning sleep was always a choice. If L entered the room, he could pretend and once the insomniac was asleep, he could sneak out.

He didn't realize how 'foolproof' his plan was until darkness overtook him and he spiralled into a dreamless slumber.

A pattering noise caused Raito to stumble out of sleep. His eyes opened blearily and he struggled between the waking and dreaming worlds. Finally, his senses seemed to reboot and he fought his way out of the blankets before scanning his surroundings. The room was completely dark; he must've dozed off after his confrontation with L. Amazingly enough, he was alone. The door was still closed, and there was no familiar body lying under the copious amounts of blankets and pillows that lay strewn across the bed.

A flash of lightning illuminated the room for a short span of time, revealing a small tray with food atop it. Raito frowned and stood, wandering over to the dish and staring down. L had obviously entered the room, or else there wouldn't be anything there. Struggling to figure out the insomniac's angle, he watched the temperamental sky wreck havoc upon the world. Another flash of lightning, followed by a clap of thunder caused Raito to move towards the door. Carefully unlocking it – L must've relocked the door after delivering his meal – Raito snuck out.

The room was dark; no familiar blue hue shrouded the chairs and wall in an eerie glow. Raito wandered deeper into the room, eyes easily adjusting to the bare lighting. He noted a shadow pacing in the corner, oblivious to him thus far. A flash of lightning illuminated the unsettled insomniac, and Raito melted back against the wall, watching his detective tread his way through the floor.

Finally, after a few minutes, Ryuuzaki seemed to stop and turned towards the window, thrusting out an arm and connecting with the glistening glass. Raito took a step forward as a harsh cry emitted from the raven haired youth, but he stalled in his motions when L struck the window once more.

Barely audible, Raito heard L hiss, "God damnit."

He then pivoted and continued his trek, still completely ignorant of the brunette who was progressively moving closer to him. Raito allowed a gentle sigh to escape his lips, but it was noise enough for the investigator to freeze and whirl. His face was oddly dark and foreboding and Raito could make out the distinct trails of tear tracks on L's cheeks.

"Ryuuzaki?"

L seemed to shudder and turned away, bringing up an arm as if to drag his hand down his face, instead of destroying the tear markings upon his cheeks. Raito waited patiently for the detective to gather himself and turn back to him, completely in control once again.

"I thought you were sleeping, Raito-kun," murmured L, stepping forward.

Raito watched his approach with suspicious eyes, "I was. The rain woke me. Pillows aren't exactly ear plugs."

L scoffed before stopping not three steps away from Raito. He was fidgeting with his shirt, seemingly trying to figure out something to say. His mouth opened and closed multiple times before he finally gave up and contented himself with staring blankly at Raito's socked feet.

"Is something wrong, Ryuuzaki?" inquired Raito, taking a small step forward, slowly closing the gap between them.

L shook his head furiously, "Of course not. I was just...pondering." His thumb came up to his lip and he stared mulishly at the floor.

Raito looked bemused, "Pondering."

"Yes. Is something wrong with that?" L bristled, anger cloaking his face. Raito cocked his head to the side; his previous talk with the insomniac had obviously damaged the barriers L kept in firm control. He was allowing his emotions to run rampant across his face, and even going as far as shouting. Raito had seemingly gotten to him.

L sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Do not worry yourself with my person, Raito-kun. I will figure everything out eventually."

"And this is the point where I stop believing you," started Raito, finally closing the space between them, "This is also what I was talking about earlier; you never let anyone in to help. Ryuuzaki, I don't understand why you are being so obstinate about all this. Just...stop being logical and go with your instincts."

L sighed and looked away, shaking his head softly, "It is not that simple, Raito-k –"

"Of course it's that simple!" Raito cut him off, throwing up his hands. L flinched away from him but Raito ignored him. He wanted to rant, badly, "Every time I'm near you, I seem to forgo logic and attack with instinct. And look what it's gotten me," Raito allowed a harsh bark of laughter to escape him, "We no longer stay up obscenely late just to find information that isn't there; we no longer fight over when I wish to go to bed – you allow me simply to fall asleep. Something is wrong here, Ryuuzaki. And damn it, I'm going to figure out what."

L was staring at him during his rant, and lifted up a hand as if to touch the other youth. Instead, he brought his hand back to him, cradling it against his chest, "I..."

L took a deep breath and stared directly into Raito's eyes, "I cannot love you because you are Kira."

Raito's world crashed down around him.

Raito wandered downstairs, following the insomniac silently. His features were haggard and his eyes were bloodshot. His father strode to his side at the sight of him, and he was thoroughly examined by Watari at his father's whims. Raito grinned and bore it, only because he knew the diagnoses already and wouldn't mind a completely falsified one to focus on.

The day progressed simple enough; Raito was forced to call Misa to find out whether or not Matsuda was actually inside the Yotsuba Company like he had stated not long ago when he called Watari. Misa had rushed to the scene and managed to save Matsuda, but not before they had to take many precautionary measures.

L had been furious, though it was one of those quiet furies that were hard to spot at first. Raito couldn't help his own outburst at Matsuda's obvious idiocy, and after they faked his death, Raito could feel lack of sleep catching up to him. He had actually communicated with L on the way back to the base, which was something he had promised himself he wouldn't do. L had been polite enough, but there was a definite sadness in the way L spoke. Raito couldn't help noticing how L's eyes lingered on his lips, or how his hand constantly brushed against Raito's. Raito tried his hardest to ignore every movement, but he couldn't help want to change L's mind and show him that he wasn't Kira.

As the investigation progressed, it was getting arduous to keep Misa in the dark. They had to use her to save Matsuda, and she had just spent the entire day at the company, discussing possible shoot deals, and whatnot. Granted, the blonde had been quiet the last few weeks, so with her gone for an entire day, Raito didn't really feel any true difference. What bothered him, thought, was when he caught her whispering to L, asking what was wrong with her boyfriend.

L hadn't replied.

As they entered the building – everyone else had headed home after saving Matsuda – Raito felt mentally and physically exhausted. It was a huge feat to keep his barriers erected, to keep himself from just throwing himself at L and demanding the older man pay attention to him. Of course, this was seen as immature and extremely childish so Raito managed to cage his inner idiot and resorted to simple fantasy.

Yes, Raito was extremely fatigued.

The elevator dinged open and Raito's feet moved of their own accord. Simple motor functions were becoming repetitive and no longer required Raito to expel copious amounts of energy to think about such mundane things. In fact, the investigation itself was slowly working its way to that stage in Raito's mind.

Raito leaned against the far wall of the elevator, briefly closing his eyes and willing his mind to shut down. Of course, it ignored him and played repeated segments of his and L's conversations and other smutty little snippets just to torment him. Banging his head gently against the metallic wall, he contemplated the easiest way to worm his way into a dark hole and never come out.

He blearily opened his eyes and stared blankly at the numbers illuminated cheerfully above the elevator door. The camera was dead; odd, because L had stated multiple times he was going to replace the broken machine. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw said investigator standing perfectly still, back slightly hunched, hair mussed in perfect disarray, eyes forward and ignoring him for the most part. Suddenly, Raito blinked. Was it just him or was that mop of onyx hair moving steadily closer to him? His eyes snapped fully open as warm arms wrapped around his chest, squeezing tightly. The silky locks of ebony hair nestled just beneath his chin and Raito felt his breath leave his lungs.

Okay, so he had passed out in the elevator and was playing out one of his numerous fantasies. That wasn't so bad.

Except when Raito bit through his lip, pain blossomed and caused him to smack his head sharply against the metal wall. That was when he realized it wasn't a dream; no, L was actually hugging him, fitting his body perfectly against Raito's. Raito quickly summoned all his courage; every conversation he had worked tirelessly on in order to shut L down at this exact moment.

But nothing was forthcoming. No, instead his wonderfully active mind was shutting down all coherent thought and putting itself on autopilot. That was the only reasoning Raito could come up with when his arms moved of their own accord and wrapped delicately around the spindly investigator; when his nose buried itself into the soft hair tickling his cheek. He simply hung on, relishing in the feel of L against him, wondering how long it would take for the detective's mind to reboot and push him away.

The elevator dinged quietly, signalling their floor. Raito stiffened as he felt L move backwards and quickly released him, eyes downcast and slowly flooding with familiar numbness. L, however, tightened his grip and brushed his face across Raito's neck.

"I don't know how to change everything between us to make sense again, Raito-kun. And I know that everything I do is making you nervous. However, I am simply doing what is instinctual. And..."

Raito cut him off, dropping his lips to meet L's. He couldn't understand why his anger seemed to wash away the minute they connected; everything blurred into one simple thought, one that Raito almost pulled away to weep over.

If only.

Raito pushed L backwards, colliding their bodies against the side of the elevator. It made another ding, as if to warn them it was closing the doors to their only escape. Raito didn't care as he deepened the kiss, one forearm pressed into the wall beside L's head as his other arm wrapped possessively around the detective's waist. He knew something was wrong; his mind wasn't rationalizing his sudden desire to ravage L, nor was it making any background noise of congratulations. But those thoughts were wiped away as L wound his hands into Raito's hair, tugging fervently on the strands to pull Raito closer and deeper into the whirlpool he had created.

It didn't matter anymore to Raito. If he was truly Kira and had somehow suppressed the memories, he could die happy knowing L desired him just as much. It was enough for him that at this moment L wasn't pushing him away and screaming about his idiotic love theories. It was just the two of them, trapped in their own flurry of happiness and fulfillment.

He felt the elevator shift and knew they were moving once again, but it was a distant thought. He slanted his mouth and carefully touched his tongue to L's closed lips, mentally crowing in delight as the detective obliged him willingly. There was a battle for dominance, both trying to gain the upper hand, and Raito couldn't help but push L farther into the wall when he finally obtained his prize. He plundered L's sensational mouth, his mind one tracked, and allowed the hand fumbling with the hem of L's shirt to move beneath it and run his fingers over the pale skin. A delighted shiver overtook the detective and Raito grinned into the kiss before pulling away for a short breath.

The sight that greeted him when he briefly opened his eyes would be forever burned into his mind. A pink tinge was spread delicately across L's cheeks; his pupils were slightly dilated. His lips were bruised and parted, breath coming in short pants. The fingers of one hand were intertwined with Raito's – Raito didn't remember their hands connecting – and was held just slightly above his head. It was, overall, an extremely sexy image.

Raito barely had time to reprocess that thought before L tugged him back down, claiming his lips in a feverish kiss. Raito responded in kind, trying to quickly take over as he allowed his hand to brush L's side in a gentle caress that provided Raito the one pleasure he had been looking for since the beginning of their kiss.

A soft moan sounded from the back of the L's throat.

The elevator dinged, and Raito had a sudden feeling that he was being watched. He pulled back, drawing L's bottom lip with him before letting go and turning his head slightly. A camera blinked brilliantly at him in the corner, glowing silver eye catching every moment. Raito reached over and pressed their floor button, a smirk lighting his features as the doors closed once more.

L seemed unfazed by their sudden stop and tugged at Raito's hair, before slipping one hand into the back collar of his shirt, fingers splayed over tanned skin. Raito cocked an eyebrow before pressing a soft kiss to L's lips.

The elevator continued to move upwards, and with it the heat in the elevator began to climb. Raito couldn't get enough of L's lips, constantly moving back to ravage the soft petals before kissing his cheeks, eyelids, nose and forehead. He grew bold enough to trail butterfly kisses down L's neck, finding one spot that caused his detective to make that delightful throaty groan and loll his head to the side.

The elevator made another stop, and Raito turned, L trapped firmly in his arms, and stumbled out of the metal death trap. He had always hated elevators; they had this odd defect that allowed them to pass judgement on the brunette. And there was no way in hell he was going to allow that blasphemous machine to turn traitorous and punish him for something both L and he were thoroughly enjoying.

They missed their door, and L arched his back when he hit the wooden framing, breaking away from the brunette with a hiss of agony. Raito quickly corrected the mistake, nipping at L's pale throat, gaining a pleasured sigh to replace the one of pain. He made his way up, kissing softly at the place behind L's ear before whispering, "Are you sure?"

There was a strained silence between them, and Raito began to pull away. No matter how painful the sudden rejection felt, no matter how much he wanted to just go ahead with it, he would put L's feelings before his own. Always for L.

"I always am," L whispered before launching himself forward, attacking Raito's lips with his own, slipping his tongue through his surprised lips to dance along his teeth. He trailed his tongue along the roof of Raito's mouth, causing the brunette to let out a small groan, pushing back into their embrace, trapping L tightly between himself and the wall. His hands slipped fully under L's shirt, sliding along the warm flesh beneath, trailing his fingers delicately over every rib. L broke away from him to suck in gulps of air, breathy moans escaping his parted lips. Raito couldn't help the feeling of possessiveness that overtook him and he found that sweet spot on L's neck, marking the detective as his.

It was getting much harder for Raito to ignore the instinctual need to move, to do something to release the tension in his lower body. Sure, kissing and marking L his was wonderful of its own, but he needed something more. And he could feel that L needed it as well.

Shifting both hands away from L's stomach, he ignored the hiss of despair that escaped L's bruised lips. His fingers danced along the hem of L's pants before moving to his backside and lifting him, stumbling forward when L attacked his neck with suckling nips. The detective's legs wound deftly around Raito's waist and the brunette focused on the extremely arduous task of finding the door and forcing it open.

Once said task was accomplished – not without difficulty from an impatient L and his desire to make Raito lose any coherent thought he had retained – there was the new undertaking of getting them both towards the bedroom. Raito quickly decided that the couch would have to suffice.

And as the door closed softly behind them, the two minds within its sanctioned space shattered.

Raito yawned tiredly and rubbed at his eyes, shooting a glance at a blushing detective before turning back to his computer. His father wandered over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and inquiring whether or not Raito was getting his much deserved sleep. Raito couldn't help the bemused smirk to spread across his lips, once more sparing a look at the one who had kept him up all night.

When they had come downstairs after another night alone, everyone had made a big deal about L's neck; a deep bruise had been embedded upon the flesh where his throat met his shoulder. L had blushingly stated that Raito and himself had gotten into a fight of sorts, and the brunette had managed to hit him quite sharply on the neck. This satisfied most of the team; Misa, however, had stared at him with narrowed eyes before turning back to her task.

The day had progressed quietly. Raito continued to spare the detective glances, and L would randomly stop his typing to smile softly at the computer screen. All in all, it was a monotonous day.

Misa suddenly burst through the door, a giggle emitting from her lips, and a bounce in her step. The team turned to stare at her, some with their heads cocked to the side. She jumped forward and to a halt in front of Raito, hands outstretched and a brilliant smile adorning her lips. Raito watched her, slightly confused, until he saw her hold up her red cell phone, and a voice echoed from within.

"I'm Kira. So in order to make you believe me, I'll stop judging criminals. And once you realize that I am Kira, we're getting married!"

Raito stared in shock, along with the rest of the team. Misa giggled once more, her head cocking to the side cutely as she stated, "So, as you all can hear, Higuchi is Kira!"

Matsuda jumped forward, a grin on his face, looking as if he wanted to tackle Misa to the ground and shower her with overwhelming gifts. Raito merely felt sick. The quiet atmosphere was shattered; they were even closer to capturing Kira, and after that...

Raito had a sudden urge to throw up.

L didn't look too happy. His lips were down turned, and his eyes were slightly narrowed. He quickly summoned the team over, explaining how they would capture Higuchi as well as see how he kills. Everything spiralled out of control for Raito; L would no longer be his if Higuchi was caught. L would fade away from him, and he would return to being numb.

But all of those thoughts were pushed away and Raito forced himself to join in the planning of cornering Higuchi. After all, he entered this investigation to catch Kira, and that was it. He didn't have time to be distracted.

But why did that thought hurt his heart so much?

Raito hurried alongside L, jumping into the helicopter without hesitation. Watari signalled that it was all right to take off and L pulled back on the controls, sending the helicopter into motion. Raito watched from the sky, spotting the fleeing sports car with ease. It quickly careened out of control when it came across the barricade, and Raito pointed down, making sure L hovered just over the scene, out of sight of the man's eyes. They had found out quite quickly that this Kira had the same power as the second Kira – the ability to kill without a name.

The one within the car – Higuchi – stepped on the gas, hoping to break through a small space that the helicopter was barely covering. Watari hefted his gun, aiming precisely and taking out the front tire on Higuchi's Porsche. Higuchi, obviously terrified of being caught, lifted the pistol he had used to shoot Raito's father, intent on killing himself. Watari once more easily aimed and shot the gun from the third Kira's hands. He then told L it was a safe to land. As the copter came closer to the ground, Raito had a sudden foreboding. He felt that this might just be the last time he saw L, and as Watari jumped out of the copter, Raito quickly leaned over and captured L's lips in a delicate kiss. He pushed all his feelings into that kiss – his apprehension, his love, his desire to be with L forever; everything was captured in this last embrace.

L returned the kiss tentatively and wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him closer. Raito wanted nothing more than to forget about Higuchi and the one hundred percent possibility that he was Kira, and carry L back to headquarters. He wanted to simply forget everything, and run away, as fast and far as he could, like he should've done not too long ago. The impulse was so strong that when Raito broke away from the kiss, he was already contemplating escape routes.

"Raito-kun?" inquired L, running a delicate hand down his cheek, brushing his thumb over his eyelids in wonderment. "What brought this on?"

Raito shook his head and buried his face in L's neck, holding back the urge to cry. He didn't want to let go, didn't want to pull away and find out that this was all a phantasmal experience. But he knew it wouldn't last and pulled away, placing one last peck on L's lips before sitting up straight to watch the proceedings.

Higuchi was pulled from the car, blindfolded and bound. He was then given a headset, in which L could ask his questions. After finding out that a Notebook was the killing tool, L told the Chief to check out the car.

Raito's father suddenly fell backwards and out of the car, a scream tearing from his lips. He was pointing at the air, his mouth slack as he quivered in obvious fear. Both Raito and L leaned forward, perplexed, and as Mogi went to ask him if he was all right, he too fell to the ground with a scream. There was a prolonged silence and finally L asked for the Notebook to be brought to him. L carefully took the book from Mogi, holding it delicately before turning his eyes to the scene. His expression clearly indicated that he, too, could see this horrific monster.

Raito stared at him, then, quickly demanded, "Ryuuzaki, give me the notebook!"

The moment his hands grasped the chilled exterior, the moment his eyes lit upon the scrawled words of 'Death Note', Raito snapped. Whatever had been hidden within his memory came rushing forth, like a never ending stream. He saw death in his memories; a hand floating over paper as it jotted down the names of criminals. There was a voice, urging him on, tossing him into the back when he failed to do as commanded. He stared straight ahead and then was screaming, tossing his head to the side, trying to get rid of the horrific memories, trying to make them go away!

His throat began to hurt as one last memory slid into focus, one of a chilled morning as he sat upon a chair in a crowded room. Someone sat beside him, ebony locks thrown in disarray atop his head, grey eyes burrowing into his when he glanced over. Anger and an overwhelming desire to kill choked him.

I am L.

Raito quivered as the final slew of his memories came to a halt. Panting hard, he realized something was definitely wrong with him.

And that was when he heard it.

"It's good to be home, Raito-kun. How I've missed you."

No...no, this wasn't happening. He was having another dream; that was all. That voice – it was so familiar! Why would it be here, in his mind? What was going on?

"Silly pet. I've come home, of course. Why, did you think I was truly gone?" the voice laughed, before continuing its cooing, sliding Raito further back into the darkness. "I'll never leave until L is dead, Raito-kun. Because he is my enemy; our enemy. Because we are –"

Raito opened his mouth in a silent scream.

"– Kira."

A/N: Wow. I...wow. I just realized how wonderfully easy this chapter was to write. And that makes me feel all tingly inside! I also wrote my first smut scene. That was a task and a half. It's angsty and the song I was listening to whilst writing it was anything but. Download the Hoobastank song and the Bloodhound Gang song and re-read that scene. It makes no sense how I wrote so much angst into that little snippet from those two song!

EDIT: So, I just realized something when I updated my next chapter. A lot of people that reviewed for my Author's note can't review for the chapter and I don't know what to doooo. This is really freaking me out. I thought all the reviews for the author's note would either be moved or disappear. But that didn't happen! So, if you wish to review, just make it an anon and sign your name. I am sooo sorry!

Righty! So, that's all I have to say! Thank you all for being so patient and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! REVIEW! Adios!

Oh! I just remembered. My friend and I were talking and she noticed that Yagami spelt backwards is an interesting phrase. Have fun with that ((wink)).