Authors Commentary to the Readership
Admittedly, it has been quite some time since I have worked on this piece of fiction, namely due to several real life crisis and big changes, particularly that I am now living in a different country. As is the case with time, one tends to forget things such as this, particularly when reviews of this fiction, which were rather scant to begin with, stopped coming to my email inbox. One day, however, I did receive a review from a particular reader sent to me as a message rather than as a standard review, and it somehow found its way into my inbox. The reader provided such an insightful critique and elaborate praise that I felt it was my duty as a writer to continue this literary yarn. And so we soldier on, further exploring the dark and mysterious psyches of our favorite Evangelion characters…
---
The enigmatic and staid professor Kouzo Fuyutsuki sat in the antechamber of a meeting room in the United Nations Security Council Headquarters in New York City reading a well-worn copy of T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland. He'd read the masterpiece of the early 20th century literary genius so many times he could no longer remember how many, and it calmed him considerably in times of great duress such as these. Although he was well-educated, versed considerably in all the arts and sciences of diplomacy, and used to addressing bureaucrats on all sides of the political spectrum, it always made him nervous when he had to lie so blatantly to the most prestigious and prominent governmental institutions of the known world. The Wasteland was literary therapy for his nerves.
"The Wasteland," said a voice, rousing him from his thoughts. "Very difficult read, that."
Fuyutsuki gazed over the wiry rims of his reading glasses at the man who sat opposite him, presumably also waiting to give a presentation. The man was older, like himself, and his silvery hair was thinning, the skin beneath it dappled with the signs of his years. Like Fuyutsuki, he was slender and held the posture of a man of great distinction. His jacket said he was a man of traditional distinction; old, hand-woven tweed reflected the man's clear reverence of the old aristocracy. This was a man of empire and ambition.
"Yes, it is," the professor nodded.
"It's all about death and rebirth," the man continued. "Ironically, it's the only thing any of us can even be sure about. Things dying and new things filling the void they left behind."
"What makes you so sure there will always be something to fill the void?" Fuyutsuki mused, folding the book shut quietly in his lap.
The other man grinned. "Humanity," he answered. "We simply can't leave any space unfilled. It's not in our nature. Always creating and destroying until everything's filled up."
Kouzo smirked, amused by the man's simplistic but rational explanation, and by the virtue of his nature, the professor felt obliged to correct the man's error, for nothing about humanity or the universe for that matter was rational.
"That's assuming we don't annihilate ourselves first," he observed.
"Ah, a Fatalist," the other replied snidely, leaning back in his seat. "I should have guessed. But humanity is much too stubborn to snub itself out of existence. We think we've got a right to be here, for whatever reason, and we'll fight for it until the system concludes itself."
Kouzo had never thought of himself as a Fatalist. He fancied himself a realist. He saw the realities of life unfold before him on a daily basis, and also he saw, with an unfair advantage, that mankind was not only insignificant, but doomed to fail. The angels NERV dealt with and the experiments carried out at Gehirn were all merely humanity's inability to come to terms with the fact that there were things in the universe far greater than itself. Humanity could not simply submit to the idea that human life itself was merely one probable outcome of enormous, nebulous gasses burning at unimaginable temperatures in the infinite void of space. Humanity had been chosen by some great, divine improbability, and it would carry out that esoteric agenda until the end of time.
"Who are you with?" the man asked suddenly, changing the subject.
"Gehirn," Fuyutsuki replied carefully.
"Ah, synergy," the other said, aware only of Gehirn's political front. "Difficult times for you lads, these days."
"And you?"
"Jeffery Jennings with the CLI," Jennings nodded with an air of authority. He noticed Fuyutsuki's blank stare. "That's the Committee to Liberate Iran. We're working with infrastructure and international loans. Where are you from?"
"Tokyo3, Japan."
"Really?" Jennings said intrigued. "I've heard they're doing incredible things over there. Mostly military." He shot Fuyutsuki a scrutinizing glance. "The world is a wasteland," he remarked coolly. "All we can do is our best to survive in it."
The professor felt a buzzing at his pager, and looked at the device clipped to his side. A-CLASS MEMO from: secmng_kitagawa01940. Fuyutsuki excused himself politely and stepped into an adjacent antechamber and speed-dialed the International Switch Board circuit.
"Yes, I have an A-Class memo… Fuyutsuki, Kouzo. Three-seven-zero-seven-three. Yes, that's right… Rumi Kitagawa… yes… patch it through."
"Fuyutsuki?" came Gendo's muffled voice.
"Yes. I'm a bit indisposed at the moment."
"I don't give a rat's ass if you're on the moon right now, Kouzo," Gendo said angrily. "I just spoke to the hell hounds."
"Ah, and what does the devil bid of us at this late hour?"
"We're denying everything."
"I don't understand," Kozuo said quietly as if someone might overhear.
"They want us to deny our involvement with SEELE and Gehirn. Everything. Deny everything."
"I can't. I work for Gehirn. They know that."
"You're only an on-site consultant at this point," Gendo reminded him. "It's not like the old days anymore."
"Ikari, I don't have time for this."
"Listen to me," The senior Ikari fumed. "They are sending us a spy. A fourth pilot."
"What?!"
"Yes. And they don't know… I don't think they know about what happened with the first field test of the QUAD Project."
"You mean what happened to your son."
There was a moment of silence on the other line. "Yes," Gendo said sharply. "We're denying that too, of course."
"How can you assure the silence of the two pilots?"
"Leave that to me. I want you to tell those U.N. hypocrites that we're not building weapons for the private sector, and that we're trying to create a wireless energy generator for the EVAs."
"Was there some kind of information leak? Kaji maybe?"
"Don't worry about him," Gendo seethed. "He's been fed so much disinformation at this point he can't tell his ass from his elbow anymore. He doesn't even know SEELE is bankrolling this operation."
"He'll make a stink about it if he feels like you're misleading him."
"He can be dealt with," Gendo replied. "I just want you to deny everything. You're on a plane back to Japan in three hours. Be on it."
The line crackled, and went dead. Fuyutsuki looked at his phone and swore.
---
Kaji had been waiting at Narita airport for nearly an hour, leaning irritably on a column at the bottom of the escalators of baggage claim. It wasn't that the plane was delayed, but rather in his rabid quest for information he'd arrived a full forty-five minutes ahead of schedule. The fourth EVA pilot was arriving, sent directly by SEELE, and this was his best chance to get the information he needed once and for all. He'd already told the NERV agents who had come to pick the boy up that they'd been misinformed, and that he'd been sent by Gendo directly. Born with a silver tongue, and by waving a couple thousand yen in their faces, it wasn't difficult for Kaji to persuade them to leave.
He started thinking about Misato and their last abysmal love-making session. He hadn't been mentally there at all, and she'd just lain there on his bed like a dead fish, just taking it. She didn't even cry afterwards like she sometimes did—she'd just raided his fridge for beer and left without even taking a shower.
His jaw was still sore from when Ritsuko had hit him. Their altercation still annoyed him, but not as much as the cryptic and useless information she'd fed him. He could decide whether they had been lies force-fed to her by Gendo Ikari himself, or whether there was truth to her scientific ramblings. Pappus of Alexandria? What the hell was that woman talking about? Was everyone losing their damn minds?
Kaji was about to go outside for another smoke when he noticed the silvery-haired teen slowly descending the escalator, his red eyes bright and alert. He was wearing blue jeans, a blank white t-shirt, and carried a nondescript laptop bag. He looked incredibly out of place and almost unreal. The double agent headed over to the bottom of the escalator and waited. He raised his arm in a typical Western greeting.
"Hello, my name is Kaji. Are you the person named Kaoru Nagisa?" he asked in horribly broken German.
The boy smiled broadly. "I can speak Japanese," he said, his voice unusually sultry. "Are you from NERV?"
"Y-yes," Kaji stammered embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you spoke Japanese."
"Would I be here if I didn't?" Kaoru played.
"I guess you wouldn't. Anyway, come with me please."
"Is there something you wanted to ask me, Kaji-san?" the boy asked, his powers of intuition frighteningly polished.
"Did I say I had a question?"
"You have the look of a man who has many questions," Kaoru replied.
"We'll get to that," said Kaji, showing the boy to baggage claim.
---
Kaji sat in silence, risking a glance every so often in the rear-view mirror at the would-be fourth EVA pilot. Each and every time, the child would be staring directly back at him, and Kaji would draw his eyes away quickly with embarrassment.
"You do not trust me," Kaoru said at last, breaking the silence. "I am an outsider who you are forced to take within."
"Huh?" Kaji mumbled.
"You must think I am a spy of some kind, like the James Bond of your cinema."
Kaji laughed. "No, I hardly think you're a spy, kid. But it is a bit unusual you showing up here all of a sudden. You have to understand your presence has quite a few people on their toes."
"Because I was sent by SEELE."
"Exactly."
"Perhaps it is not SEELE you have to fear at all," the silver-haired boy remarked.
"What do you mean?"
"I have heard an expression something to this effect," Kaoru replied. "All we have to fear is fear itself. Have you heard this before, Kaji-san?"
"Of course," the other nodded for fear of sounding stupid. He had heard the expression, but he'd never really contemplated its meaning.
"Do you know what it means?"
"Yeah it means fear is stupid, and you shouldn't be afraid of anything."
"Moreover, it means that fear is a powerful weapon and a debilitating emotion. It prevents you from getting something you want. It causes you to feel hatred towards someone or something you don't understand. I find it is the most universal human emotion. Second only to this insipid and irrational thing you call love."
"Right, I get it," Kaji surmised. "Fear can be a tool used to get what you want."
The fourth pilot's eyes sparkled. "Do you fear me, Kaji-san?"
"Of course not. Should I fear you?"
"That remains to be seen," Kaoru answered enigmatically.
They drove along in silence for a while longer.
"What do you know about A.T. fields?" Kaji asked at last.
Kaoru looked thoughtful for a minute before replying, "It is a name given to an incredible concentration of energy that these entities you call Angels are able to produce. They seem to be able to protect the angels from your implements of destruction, your weapons, and your EVAs."
"Yes, yes, that's the basics," Kaji said impatiently. "But I mean, do you know how they are made?"
Kaoru stared hard at the other.
"Why would you want to know?"
"Because."
The fourth pilot arched an eyebrow. His crimson eyes were fixed upon Kaji.
"Because…?"
"Because I want to know why an organization would want to try to reproduce them."
Kaoru smiled. "You are referring to synthetic force fields. Artificially produced A.T. fields."
"Yes," Kaji admitted.
"NERV is creating them," the silver-haired boy said after a moment of taking pleasure in Kaji's ignorance. "They are doing so with the financial endorsement of my company, SEELE."
"I'd guessed that. Tell me more."
"You still do not understand, do you, lillim? They are meddling with such things out of fear. They fear the angels who would open their eyes to the truth. They fear being destroyed or being reduced to tiny specs of dusts in the cosmos."
"Stop it!" Kaji groaned. "Why must everyone speak in riddles? The only thing I want to know is why? What is the end result? Why are they trying to produce A.T. fields?"
"I just explained it to you."
"It's not fear!" Kaji rasped. "It's always a self-serving end and there's always someone at the very top of it convincing everyone else to serve that end! Is it something as bland and uninspired as world domination? Is it for money? What, God damn it! What is it!"
Kaoru frowned and stared at the driver. "You are disappointingly uncreative," the boy said, and remained quiet for the remainder of the trip back to NERV headquarters.
---
After a stressful day of synch ratio tests, Shinji couldn't wait to get home and sit in a bathtub and just forget about everything that had happened. He just wanted to turn his mind off, to stop thinking. The more he thought about anything, the more he realized he was afraid of the future and what it had in store for him. Asuka had other plans.
"Alright," the German boomed, cranking up Shinji's vocal chords to new volumes. "What movie do you want to see, Shin-dork? Here's the list."
She thrust a print out in the third child's face.
"Do we really have to do this?" he asked.
She frowned, nodding vehemently. "Of course we do. It's what the good doctor ordered."
"I hate doctors," Shinji muttered.
"If you don't pick something I'll pick it for you and you'll probably hate it."
"Here, you just pick it then," he said, pushing the paper back toward her. "I'm not good at this kind of stuff."
"Not good at this kind of stuff? Shinji, it's just going to a damn movie!"
"Yeah, I know, but I don't go to the movies."
"Oh, holy Hell you are so utterly useless, Shinji!" Asuka droned on. "Just point at a name and we'll go see that one!"
"Fine!" Shinji said despairingly, and pointed to a random film which turned out to be Asuka's latest favorite, one she'd seen twice already. She tried to hide her giddiness.
"You're going to hate this one," she observed.
"Whatever."
It was a romance flick, the plotline very much like the mangas Asuka kept around her room. While Asuka shoveled handful after handful of popcorn into his mouth, Shinji sat mesmerized by the drama unfolding on the screen. During World War II, two childhood friends had drifted apart, only to be reunited in a prison camp in Germany. It was heartbreaking to watch the boy's would-be-girlfriend be incinerated in a gas oven. The boy, who was not aware of her death, spent the rest of his life after being set free by Allied troops trying to find her. By the end of the film, Shinji was balling his eyes out.
Asuka stared at him incredulously. "Sh…Shinji? Are… are you—"
Shinji hugged Asuka and wept. "I'm sorry," he said through his tears, "but it's just so sad!"
Asuka started laughing. "It's just a movie you twit! Get off me!"
Shinji looked up into his own face. And in that face he saw sympathy, and he loved it. He desperately craved Asuka's pity, and it made him weak of character, but he couldn't help it. He loved those rare moments when the German girl would just hold him against her and let him cry. He loved that feeling of being taken care of… that feeling of being safe… of being loved.
As the credits started to roll and the lights came on, Asuka found Shinji's hand and lightly rested her fingers atop it.
"Shinji, let me ask you something…"
"Ok." Shinji conceded nervously.
"When we kissed that time—" Asuka felt her hand tense beneath her own. Always this line of questioning made Shinji Ikari uncomfortable. "—did you… I mean… you know… did you… did you like it?"
Shinji was blushing furiously while he tried to formulate a reply that wouldn't earn him a smack across the face. When he couldn't think of one, he made his long-overdue confession.
"Y…yeah I did… I'm sorry."
Shinji realized he had apologized to the German again, and though he'd been trying not to be so apologetic at her request, every so often he would slip up. But she didn't say anything or berate him. She just sat quietly, staring at the credits rolling. At length, she removed her hand from Shinji's, and got up.
"I'll meet you in the lobby," she said coldly. "I've got to go to the bathroom."
Asuka stood in the men's bathroom, staring at Shinji's face in the mirror. She didn't know why, but she felt sick as though she might heave, and it wasn't just the oily movie theater popcorn. In the pit of her stomach, or perhaps in the cradle of her soul, Asuka felt something inside of her crumbling away, as if the fibers of her reality were being pulled out of the pattern. Never before had she hated and loved Shinji so strongly as she did at that very moment. She detested Shinji for his honesty, but she loved him for what that honesty meant. Her world, which was defined by starkly-painted and dutifully carved out binary opposites—love, hate, acceptance, rejection, success, failure—was now muddled in shades of gray. She felt like she had no ground to stand on, like something inside of her was being erased, her soul stretched thin.
Who are you, second child?
Asuka turned to find herself staring at the first child, still wearing her plug suit, leaning against one of the bathroom stalls, her arms, face, and hips thickly bandaged.
"What are you doing here?" Asuka snarled.
You called me here, Rei replied. The words sounded, but her mouth didn't move.
"No I didn't! The last person I want to talk to right now is you!"
Who am I?
The question struck Asuka like a slap to the face. The ludicrousness of it caused Asuka to curl Shinji's hands into tight fists.
"You're Rei, you idiot! Who else would you be?"
This word 'Rei' which means both 'ghost' and 'zero' in this language defines that which is I, yet I am neither a ghost nor a number. Tell me, Asuka Langley Soryu, what it means to be I.
Asuka turned back to the mirror. "Don't be ridiculous! I don't have time for this. I…"
You turn away from the very question that haunts you.
"What question?"
Who is Asuka Langley Soryu?
"I know who I am! I'm the best EVA pilot alive! I'm the sexiest girl at school, and everybody loves me or wants to be me! I'm Asuka!"
Yet you appear, at least to me, to be Shinji.
"Anta baka!" the German roared. "Even if I am in this stupid body, I'm still Asuka!"
Then your body has nothing to do with who you are.
"Yes! No, wait…"
Do you not feel this paradox at the core of your soul? Or does fear prevent you from realizing that you are not in fact a physical entity at all, but part of the universal pulse that binds all things together?
"Leave me alone!" Asuka pleaded. "Just… just leave me alone!"
Do you want to be alone? Are you ever truly alone?
"Stop it! Please! I beg you! S…stop it!"
You musn't run away…
The phrase surged forth unbidden into Asuka's mind. She turned to send a barrage of acidic, German choice phrases at Rei, but the girl had vanished. Asuka blinked, looking around the bathroom. She heard only the sound of the mellow washroom music playing. She looked back at the mirror and stared at Shinji's face.
"I am Asuka," she told herself. "I am Asuka Langley Soryu. No one can take that away from me. No one."
---
Misato picked the two teens up at the movie theater. She was in generally high spirits sans the nagging feeling that she was being left out of the loop about something. Ritsuko had told her earlier that NERV was secretly studying the DNA of the angels, but she hadn't said exactly why. As far as Misato was concerned, the angels were the enemy, creatures to be destroyed, not researched. And the fact that this was going on without her knowledge pissed her off, and she planned to confront Gendo about it directly. Kaji, she was sure, was probing his usual sources for information, but she couldn't even be sure about his level of involvement in the scheme. Yet at the moment, all she cared about was Shinji Ikari.
These were difficult times for both the second and third child. She knew she truly couldn't grasp the difficulties both the adolescents were facing, but she'd still try her best to help them both through it in any way that she could. Still, she felt powerless. Helpless. All she could do was continue to do what she'd already been doing: be the best guardian she could. That entailed listening, which was exceedingly difficult as Shinji was want to keep his most profound feelings locked away inside his mind, and Asuka kept hers carefully veiled beneath her boisterous extroversion. What could Misato do but wait, watch, and maybe, if the situation called for it, pray.
She leaned against the driver's side door waiting for them to emerge from the cinema. She suddenly felt a weird feeling inside of her, a vehement hope that the two wouldn't emerge from the movie laughing or holding hands or anything that might signify closeness. It was a selfish feeling, and she didn't know why she felt it. Jealousy? If Shinji had Asuka, who did that leave her? Kaji was simply a leaf on a tree branch in late autumn, tenuously holding on before a fated winter. Such flirtations were not meant to last, she knew. Their relationship was one of the flesh, not one of the heart. She longed for real companionship. A real connection. Whatever that might entail.
Misato's relationship with Shinji had grown more and more complex the more she'd hungered to understand the quiet and timid third child. Beneath his reserved exterior, she knew, was an intricate web of deep emotions, an infinite wellspring of compassion and intense feelings. That wellspring, she'd often thought, was completely untapped, and she feared that if someone didn't draw it forth soon, it might dry up on its own accord. He might become what she feared most: Gendo Ikari.
Major Katsuragi's prayers were answered when Asuka and Shinji finally emerged from the duplex, neither of them speaking, and both looking rather tired. Misato waved happily, trying to mask her mirth, and failing horribly.
"How was the film?" she asked.
"Stupid," the German lied.
"Shinji?"
"Ok, I guess," the third child said quietly.
"Well aren't you both rays of sunshine?" she replied, suddenly annoyed by what she had only minutes before desired.
The three of them packed into Misato's questionably safe coupe and sped off back downtown. The sun was setting across the valley. Long, talon-like clouds drifted languidly across a bleak sky. In the distance, the clouds were thick and deep blue, promising rain. Misato looked in the rear view mirror at the two EVA pilots. Both were staring wordlessly out their respective windows, lost in thought. Misato desperately wished she could read minds, to know what they were thinking. But if she tried to read Shinji's mind, whose mind would she be reading, she wondered. Shinji's? Asuka's? Both? Just how much had this great exchange changed them both?
It was difficult to tell. She had noticed slight changes in their personalities. Shinji had become noticeably more vocal and slightly short-tempered at times, traits that were unique to Asuka. As for the second child, she seemed somewhat more outwardly emotional. Although she was still austere and chastising, especially toward Shinji, she was prone to moments of intriguing quietude. The very trait that defined Shinji Ikari. Were the two children simply trying to step into the role of the opposite pilot, or was there something else going on, something beneath the surface that Misato couldn't understand?
"What's for dinner tonight, Shinji?" she asked autonomously, not really interested in a reply.
"What would you like?" the third child answered predictably.
"Can you cook American food?"
"Huh? Like what?"
"I don't know… whatever Americans eat."
"I'm not entirely sure what that is," Shinji admitted.
"Cheese burgers," Asuka intruded suddenly. "All Americans eat cheese burgers."
"I don't know how to make cheese burgers," said Shinji apologetically.
"I do," Asuka boasted. "I learned when I did a semester abroad at New York University."
"You've been to America?" Shinji asked, intrigued.
"Well of course I've been to America," Asuka sighed. "That's why I'm so worldly."
"What was it like? Your study abroad?"
"Easy," Asuka continued to boast. "Americans are very stupid. They party a lot and never get anything done. You can goof off a lot and still pull highest marks."
"Wow, really?..." Shinji trailed off.
In the driver's seat, Misato was fuming. Asuka's arrogance was managing to get under her skin, and Shinji's interest in the German's worldly exploits grated on her nerves even further. She looked at Asuka sharply in the mirror, but upon seeing Shinji's face instead, she suddenly felt the urge to break down and cry. She floored the accelerator.
"Well, that sounds like a cool experience, anyway," Shinji was saying. "I visited America once when I was very little. I don't really remember it. I was—"
A vision came to him abruptly. He was Asuka still, and he was standing before a great series of steps outside an enormous building that rose high up into the sky. He was younger than Asuka was currently, but her exact age he couldn't tell for sure. All he did know was that at that very moment, he was experiencing the most vivid hallucination he'd had yet.
The wind was bitter and cold, like late autumn, and the air was thick and full of smog. It was noisy, and he could hear people speaking in multiple languages all around him—English, French, Chinese, Arabic, and several other languages he couldn't pinpoint. The signs were all in English, as were the school books he was holding in his arms. He was dressed in a long black dress. His hair was shorter and finely braided. His boots were thickly padded and made for cold weather. Shinji knew at once he was in America. In New York City.
"Are you lost?" a voice said.
Shinji turned to find himself staring at a young man, probably in his early twenties, his jaw completely carpeted in stubble much in the same way Kaji wore his facial hair. The man had a roguish look to him, wavy, dirty-blond hair and sharp blue eyes. He was dressed in blue jeans and a track jacket.
"Are you looking for someone?" the man repeated.
Shinji suddenly became aware that not only did he understand English, but he spoke it. Fluently.
"No, I go to this school," he heard himself say.
The man raised an eyebrow, looked up the steps, then back at Shinji.
"You're joking, right?"
"No, I don't joke."
"This is NYU. The most prestigious university in the city."
"I know."
"How old are you?"
"Twelve."
"Uh huh…"
The man continued to stare at Shinji, making the third child nervous and slightly irritated.
"Are you the daughter of a teacher?"
"I'm a student," Shinji said, as if reading from a script. "My name is Asuka Langley. I'm looking for the Office of General Admissions. I'm supposed to start classes today."
The man laughed heartily. "Asuka Langley," he repeated. "How old did you say you were?"
"Twelve. Almost twelve and a half," he added for emphasis.
"I don't think twelve and a half year olds study at this university, Asuka Langley. Maybe you have the wrong—"
"I've been awarded a full scholarship to this stupid school," he blurted suddenly. "I've got these books and I'm supposed to go find out where the classes they belong to are located. So either you can help me out with it or stop wasting my time."
The man looked taken aback for a moment, before he grinned. "Alright," he said. "I'll show you where the office is, Asuka Langley. But under one condition."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"I'm a film student and I'm shooting a scene this Saturday," the man explained. "I need a girl about your age for one of the scenes. I'd like you to be my leading lady, Asuka Langley." He winked.
"Well of course I'll do it," Shinji blurted without thinking, even though he felt an incredible ominous feeling stir within him the second he replied. "I was born to be an actress!"
"Great, then it's settled. Here let me take your books…"
"Shinji!" Asuka jolted him back to reality. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Misato and Asuka were both staring at him, he realized. They were in the parking lot of Misato's apartment. He shook his head, confused.
"What? What happened?"
"You just said 'I was born to be an actress' out of the middle of nowhere."
"What?" Shinji stammered, turning red from ear to ear. "I did? I don't remember saying that!"
Asuka looked at Misato.
"I heard you say it too," the purple-haired woman said. "Shinji are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah, I just… I just need to be alone for a little while."
Asuka and Misato exchanged glances again.
"You sure you're alright?" Misato queried.
"Yeah, fine."
"Asuka's going to make cheese burgers tonight," she continued. "Don't take too much time away from the real world."
"Right. Got it."
The three of them got out of the car and headed back to the apartment. As soon as they were inside, Shinji locked himself in his room, and Asuka stared for a minute at the closed door before heading into the kitchen. "I need meat and cheese, Misato," she said.
"It's all there. I was going to make curry."
"Ok."
"If you need anything, I'll be in my room," Misato said, padding softly into her bedroom and shutting the door behind her.
She sat on her bed quietly for several minutes, then picked up her cell and phoned Ritsuko. After a couple of rings, the scientist's voice sounded on the other end.
"Ritsuko speaking."
"Rit, we need to talk."
"What about?"
"The kids. Something's going on."
"Can it wait? I'm busy."
"No it can't. Where are you?"
"My apartment."
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."
"Wait, Misato—"
---
Misato rabidly pressed the doorbell to Ritsuko's apartment. A few moments later, the door opened.
"Rit, something serious is—"
Kaji grinned from ear to ear, sipping champagne. "Well this is certainly a pleasant surprise, Mi-chan," NERV's informant cooed. He noted the shock on Misato's face. "Well don't just stand there, come on in. Plenty of Asahi* to go around."
Misato stormed past Kaji, causing him to spill some of the champagne. "Christ, Misato, this shirt cost me ¥8,000. Egyptian cotton!"
"Send me a fucking bill," the purple-haired commander retorted, then regarded the scientist. "What is he doing here, Ritsuko?"
"It turns out NERV's been given a new EVA pilot, Misato. Kaji and I were just discussing the details."
Misato's jaw dropped. She looked from Ritsuko to Kaji, who shrugged. "New pilot?" she stammered. "On whose authority?"
"SELEE's authority, apparently," Kaji interjected. "Care for a cold one?"
"Yeah, whatever," Misato grunted. Kaji tossed her a beer and she caught it. "But why?"
"To spy on us, more than likely," the informant sighed matter-of-factly.
"Kaji, please," Ritsuko chided.
"Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?"
"My guess," Kaji gleamed, tossing himself down on Ritsuko's couch and wrapping his arm around the scientist's shoulders, "is that it has to do with Ritsuko here and her little pet project, am I right, hon?"
The scientist bristled slightly, but didn't resist when Kaji began to twirl her hair with his fingers. Misato glowered at him with the eyes of a demon.
"I suppose it's pointless not to read her in at this stage of the game. She'll find out eventually."
"Out with it," Misato said flatly, visibly steaming with rage.
"I already told you before that NERV's been running tests on the angels, gathering data and such."
"Yeah, so? We've been doing that since this project began."
"What I didn't tell you," the scientist continued, "is that we've started to use the data the MAGI have collected to artificially recreate synthetic A.T. fields."
Misato shook her head. "I don't get it."
Kaji frowned. "What's not to get. They're playing God over there at NERV. They're trying to create their own angels out of putty."
"Not exactly," corrected Ritsuko. "Recreating an entire angel, given the technology available to us today, is simple impossible. The angels have literally billions of quantum proteins encoded in every cell. It could take decades to replicate a single one, even with the support of CERN and the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva. Still, our research has been able to isolate which of those cells are responsible for the formation of the A.T. fields, and those are the ones we're looking at."
"Okay, but why?" Misato said, guzzling the beer.
"Because mankind has reached an evolutionary dead end. Civilizations are crumbling, and after 60,000 years of our existence, this world of war and hurt and pain is all we've been able to produce. Those individuals bankrolling this experiment believe in loftier ideals. They believe that the Age of Reason we live in has drawn to a close, and that things like faith and man's irrationality will be the undoing of the human race. The point of QUAD Project—that's Quantum Angel Deconstruction Project—is to accelerate our evolution."
Misato crunched the empty beer can in her fist. "I can't believe you are serious! Don't you remember what happened the last time you tried something like this? You instigated the Second Impact! The angels are our enemy! That's why we created the EVAs, to fight fire with fire!"
"Unless," Kaji said, "all we're doing is fanning the flames. SELEE's new position is that the angels we're spending so much time and energy destroying are actually our stairway to heaven, and not our opponents at all."
Misato shook her head, slightly inebriated, and more confused than ever. "That can't be right… the angels try to destroy mankind and everything we have built."
"Or perhaps," Ritsuko added, "they're trying to take something back that isn't ours."
A quietude fell across the room. "What are you talking about Ritsuko?" Misato muttered gravely.
"In the very depths of NERV," the scientist began, "there is a room, and in that room there is a thing that has been there since the beginning of all this. I strongly suggest you forget all of this, for your own safety and for your own good, but if you want answers, one might seek out the three hundred and fourteenth level of the Geofront."
"There are only two hundred and eighty-eight levels of the Geofront," replied Major Katsuragi.
"Officially, yes," Ritsuko said, scrutinizing Kaji carefully. "I know there's nothing I can do to stop either of you going, so I'll just suggest you both go together. For your own safety."
"What's down there, Rit?" asked Misato.
The scientist sighed deeply. "The cradle of Evangelion," she answered.
*Asahi, a Japanese domestic beer.