Hey everyone…. I'm sorry….

Eleanor could have sworn that she was in some blissful form of the afterlife. She was warm and comfortably floating in oblivion. Everything was so calm. She felt like she was home again with her mother, father, and brother. She was going to bed on a breezy summer night after eating a large meal. Her father had come home from a successful hunt, and her mother made an incredible dinner out of it. Everything else that floated in her conscious was just a dream.

She was happily floating in this Nirvana until she heard someone calling out her name. She tried telling them to pipe down, but she was so tired. She just wanted to stay in her dream, but the voice persisted. She slowly became aware of reality. She realized that she was lying on a bed that was extremely comfortable. She felt something squeezing her hand, and the voice told her that it was time to wake up. Slowly she opened her eyes.

"About time," the voice said. She looked over, blinking a few times to focus her tired eyes. There next to her bed was Gwaine, squeezing her hand with that big, cocky grin on his face. She resisted the urge to smile, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

She tried to talk, but ended up just coughing. Gwaine handed her a cup of water and helped her sit up. After she finished half of the cup, he took it away from her so that she wouldn't make herself sick.

Sitting up was a whole new experience. Her head pounded with her heartbeat, and she could feel the blood rushing down her body.

"How long was I out for?" she finally asked once she felt steady enough to talk.

"About a day and a half. Gauis doesn't think there is anything wrong with you, so that's good. You're just exhausted. Probably for days if you carried Merlin for a long as we think you did." Gwaine explained. Suddenly, everything came back to Eleanor.

"Merlin! Is he okay?" she said in a panic. Gwaine put his hand on shoulders, making sure she tried not to get up.

"He's fine. He got a nasty head wound, and a concussion to go with it, but he will be fine with some rest." Gwaine explained. "The last time I checked, he was still asleep." Eleanor took a deep breath and relaxed back onto her pillows.

"It's a miracle he didn't get an infection"

"Yeah, I agree. Gauis said that the wound was fairly well treated, though. I didn't know you were a healer and a cross dresser." Gwaine said with a mischievous grin. Eleanor slapped the hand that was resting on her bed.

"My mom was the healer in our village until my brother got sick. Then, she spent all of her time with him. She taught me a few things so I could help everyone who was hurt in the Dorocha attacks."

"Well, I'm glad she did," Gwaine's tone got very serious. "Thank you for saving him."

"What do you mean?" Eleanor was thoroughly confused. Merlin had told her that he was close to the knights, but she didn't think that they were actually friends.

"Merlin is a good man. The greatest friend I've ever had." Gwaine looked at Eleanor, his eyes filled with fond memories of his closest friend. "I'm really grateful to you for bringing him home."

Eleanor smiled at him. She had never seen this side of the knight before. She had seen him be cocky and arrogant, charming and friendly, but never caring and protective.

"Yes, well I've gone rather fond of him too. I would have never forgave myself if he didn't make it back to Camelot in one piece." Suddenly, she felt something move on her bed. She sat up a bit more to see a big black ball of fur sitting at the foot of her bed.

"Oh yes, it seems that you have another new friend. We tried to get him to go away, but he refused to be away from you."

"Not surprising. Apparently, I am very good a throwing sticks to dogs. In fact, this dog saved my life just so that I would throw him a stick."

"What happened?"

"It was strange. There was this crazy old man in the forest, and I got caught in one of his hunting nets. He called me a 'false knight' and claimed to be a protector of Camelot, whatever that means."

"Well you are a false knight," Eleanor glared at Gwaine, clearly not amused. "Oh, sorry m'lady. Please continue." Gwaine continued to smile while Eleanor just rolled her eyes.

"Anyways, he came at me with a knife, but then Onyx came out of nowhere and killed him."

"Onyx? You've named him already?"

"Of course! He saved my life. This dog is my new best friend." Eleanor reached over to pet Onyx, waking him up. He rolled into her touch, letting her know exactly where he wanted to be pet.

"Well, it could be interesting to have a dog around the castle. Just make sure you keep him clean. He was filthy when we found you and Merlin." Gwaine reached over and scratched Onyx on his chest, causing Onyx to let out a groan of happiness. "Anyways, I should let you get back to sleep. Gauis says you will need at least two days of rest to fully recover. I'll be here when you get up, and I'll run down to the kitchen to grab you some food."

All and all, being a knight was a pretty good deal. Eleanor slept in her own room in a bed softer than a cloud. Of course, she had to share it with Onyx because he refused to sleep anywhere else, but she got used to that quickly. She had a constant supply of good food and clothes. She had Cole taking care of her and Onyx constantly. He got used to the idea of her not wanting him to dress her after awhile, and things found there natural rhythm.

Knight training was nothing compared to the training in the camps. It was mainly just sparing in the middle of the day. No more early runs, which Eleanor was incredibly thankful for. What she didn't anticipate though was the king commanding her to spar with him one day in the training fields.

"Come on, Etienne. All of the knights have to do it," the king said. Eleanor knew this was true, but also was terrified of hurting the king or his pride. With all of the practice, she was in the best shape she had ever been. In fact, she beat Gwaine every time she spared with him. However, this was the king, and she couldn't say no, so, hesitantly, she put on her helmet and prepared to fight.

Another thing Eleanor didn't anticipate was the king completely kicking her ass. She started off the match on the defense, not wanting to hurt the king, but he attacked with such speed and strength that all she could do was block his strikes. He had her cornered quickly, giving her no place to go. Within a few minutes, the match was over.

"You're going to have to do better than that, Etienne," the king said, taking off his helmet. He seemed disappointed in her, something she wasn't used to. He also looked so pleased with her after she brought Merlin home safely. She looked down at the ground, disappointed in herself, while the king walked away.

"Don't worry about it too much. The king was trained from birth to be a fighter. He's got a few years on you too, but you will catch up," Gwaine said as he patted her on the shoulder.

"I hope you're right," Eleanor said. "I just don't get it, I have been doing so well in all of my training. I thought I would have put on a better fight than that."

"Hey, why don't we go down to the tavern?" Eleanor shot Gwaine a death glare, reminding him of the last time. "Only one drink this time, I swear. It will help you relax a little bit. Who knows, you might even have some fun."

Fun? What a concept! Eleanor couldn't remember the last time she had real fun. Sure, it was fun kicking the crap out of people, and she was sure she had fun when she got drunk and revealed herself to Gwaine, but it wasn't the same.

"Fine, but you're buying!"

Eleanor laughed as a drunken man stood on the tables and attempted to organize the other drunks into song. Currently, it all just sounded like a bunch of shouting, but deep down somewhere there was a melody.

"Looks like a good time to leave." Gwaine shouted to her, trying to be heard over the singing.

"You don't like drinking song?"

"Not with this crowd, trust me." Gwaine said, paying the bartender for the drinks and leading her outside. "Please tell me you aren't going to run off into the forest again."

"Nope, won't happen again." Eleanor said with a laugh.

"I hope it does." Eleanor answered him with a quick jab to the shoulder. Though she had masqueraded as a man for almost two years now, she would never understand their indecency.

"Gwaine, will you help me train more?" Eleanor said, trying to change the subject. "I mean, I thought that I was in good shape. After all, I have beaten you many times in sparing, but you give a good fight against the king. It just doesn't make sense…" Her mind went to work, putting the clues together, and, suddenly, it all made complete sense.

"You've been letting me win…" Eleanor stopped walking, blocked by this realization. Gwaine turned around and looked at her with a confused look on his face. "You've been letting me win!?"

She was furious. After all of the work she had done, this stupid man has the gall to bring up her confidence so high, make her think she was so much better. Really, he was making her weaker. Was he trying to prove a point? Was he jealous of her skills, or mad because she had beaten him? She didn't care anymore, and didn't even bother waiting for an answer before she turned on her heals and ran.

Ironically, she headed for the forest. She knew that Gwaine, given the chance, would point this out later. But it didn't matter to her. She just wanted to get away from him. She heard him following her, trying to get an opportunity to explain.

"Stop! Etienne!" he shouted at her. At least he had the brain to still use her male name this close to Camelot. But she didn't slow down. So, he sped up.

For a few minutes, Gwaine chased her through the forest. She knew that it was pointless. She was faster than him, and he would tire quickly. She just needed to keep running for a bit longer and he would give up. As if fate were making fun of her, though, she felt her foot catch on a tree root, and she face planted into the ground.

She silently cursed her clumsiness and tried to get up before Gwaine caught up, but it was too late.

"Are you okay?" Gwaine said, grabbing her arm to try and help her up.

"Get away from me!" Eleanor said, tearing her arm out of his grasp. "I don't need you're help."

"Ok, fine, I won't touch you, but please let me explain!" Gwaine said between breaths, still winded from running.

"Explain what? That you were trying to make me look weak in front of the king? Or that you are embarrassed that you were beat by a woman, so you needed to knock me down just a bit." Eleanor yelled, unable to control her anger with the glass of alcohol in her system.

"No, that's not it at all!" Gwaine yelled back.

"Then what is it? What reason could you possibly have for holding back on me? Do you want me to die in battle?"

"Eleanor, shut up!" Gwaine yelled, unable to hold his composure anymore. Eleanor, completely shocked by his uncharacteristic outburst, complied.

"You just don't get it do you? You think that everything is a battle, and that everyone is out to hurt you. Well, just so that you know, I don't want to hurt you. That's why I've been holding back in practice." Gwaine said, his face flushed.

"Why are you worried about hurting me?" Eleanor asked. She moved closer to Gwaine, but he just looked down at his hands.

"I wish that things were different Eleanor, I really do," he said quietly.

"What do you mean?" He looked up at her, and she hardly recognized him. He looked at her in a way that a man has never looked at her before. It didn't make feel like a knight, or a woman pretending to be a man. She felt like her true self again, and he was gazing at her true self and acknowledging it. Admiring it. And, once again, it all made sense.

"Of course…" she said, and then she mentally slapped herself for not coming up with anything better to say.

"I'm sorry, Eleanor. I honestly don't know what has come over me," Gwaine looked back down at the ground, as if ashamed for his feelings. "Normally, I never get attached to anyone. You're just so incredibly different. You're not like anyone I've ever met, and, for some reason, I can't keep my mind off of you. I really want…" Eleanor raised her hand, effectively silencing him.

She had never done this before, but it felt so necessary. She needed to let him know that she shared his feelings, but there were no right words for that now. So she had to act. Slowly, she leaned forward, and placed her hand on his cheek. He just looked at her, not making any attempt to move away, know what was coming. Before she could stop herself, she leaned forward and kissed him.

I'm sorry again! Please don't hate me for being an awful person! The series finale really took its toll on me. Anyways, please review so I know if it sucks!

Cheers!

Tora2010