I don't own Gilmore Girls
Max walked out of Rory's apartment building letting the chilling Boston air slap him in the face. Slap him back to his senses. He got into his car and he drove, he drove until he couldn't think anymore he drove until he ended up in the one place he hated the most in the world. He parked his car outside the gate and he got out staring hands in his pockets. He took a deep breath and he let his feet take him down the path he'd journeyed so many times the path that he hated with every breath in his body. He stopped in front of that hard grey stone and looked down at the words etched into it.
Willow Rosalie Peters Medina and Abigail Rose Medina
May 8th 1970- July 17th 2006 and July 17th 2006 - July 18th 2006
A single tear fell onto the hard stone. "I'm sorry for not coming out more. I'm so sorry but please don't think I've forgotten you. He crouched down and traced the words with his finger. "Maybe I should have brought flowers or something." He shook his head and stood up looking back down at the stone. He thought of the two people buried underneath. His two girls.
He let himself be carried away in the chilly night air. He thought back over his life. He thought about how Lorelai left him before the wedding and he thought about how he left the country came back left again and then came back. It was that last time that he had met Willow or Willa as she was called by most people. She was beautiful and smart. She was a kindergarten school teacher and so beautiful inside and out. Her blond hair down her back her pretty green eyes. And he loved her or as much as he could allow himself to love after building his high walls because of Lorelai leaving. They had married a year after they got together and then she got pregnant and he was so happy so excited to be a father and then they found out it was a girl and he was ecstatic.
Most people would think he'd want a son but he'd always wanted a little girl to spoil. The pregnancy was fine until she was twenty five weeks. He shuddered just thinking about that day. Her water had broken early in the day and there was nothing the doctors could do to stop it the baby was born and Willow started to Hemorrhage. They rushed her to surgery but nothing they could do saved her. And then the baby his sweet precious little girl was fighting a losing battle for her life. She didn't even have a name So tiny He'd only glimpsed her briefly tangled in all of those wires but she hadn't lived over twenty four hours and she still hadn't had a name. Him and Willa had talked about a few names but had never settled on anything. Looking at the precious child who never got a chance to live he named her Abigail which meant father's joy and gave her the middle name Rose for her mother. The days had been hard and the funeral harder as he laid those two girls to rest. His family had come into town and hers too but no one could get through his haze of depression and soon everyone was gone and he was left on his own.
He blamed himself If he'd never met her if she'd never got pregnant with his child she'd still be alive today. If he had loved her more loved her with all of his heart maybe she would have had the energy too fight. He wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm sorry." He whispered again so sorry. As he walked away and got back into his car resting his head against the steering wheel he thought of Rory he could never be with him. He wouldn't let her he couldn't stand to take the chance that she might get pregnant and then die but he couldn't take that away from her either. She would want a family and he never wanted one not again never again. He couldn't go through the uncertainty again he could never take the chance that instead of bringing home a healthy wife and baby he'd be burying them. He Started his car and headed back towards his apartment walking into the dark desolate place he lived he just let himself collapse on his bed. His head and his heart fighting each other. His heart wanting to love again love the sweet woman who he'd met again his head telling him it was a bad idea that he would only end up hearting her and shattering his already fragile heart. No he knew he had too let his head win this one let his head win over his heat. He lived his life he wasn't willing to chance cutting hers short she was even younger then Willa had been. So young so much ahead of her.
He stared up at the celling the past and the future fighting for dominance In his mind. Images flashed through his brain. Lorelai, Willow, Abigail, Rory the women in his life the women who had shaped and were still shaping him. Lorelai the woman who shattered him first. Willow the woman who put him back together, Abigail the baby girl who never got a chance and Rory the woman who was back in his life unexpectedly and who he felt so many emotions for. The woman who he wanted to reach out too but couldn't.
A/N so there is Max's life he's lost a wife and baby and now doesn't want go through it again. Will he get over his fear will he tell Rory. Wait and see also I changed Rory's age to 26 because I was doing the math and some research Rory would turn 26 in October of 10 and the Yale Harvard Game was in November.