Author: Cyclone
Feedback: Please be gentle.
Distribution: Gimme credit and a link.
Rating: Maybe a little harsh language, certainly some violence, but nothing worse than on BtVS.
Spoilers: Up to Chosen for BtVS and Terra for Teen Titans.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to other people. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: After delivering his two prisoners to Gotham, Xander takes the opportunity to doff the costume and relax.
Author's Note: You'll be seeing a few more elements from the general DCAU here, rather than the Titansverse.
"Sixty-five rubber chickens on the wall, sixty-five rubber chickens..."
Cyborg growled, "Can I just...?"
"No."
"But they're..."
"NO, Cyborg," Xander said, "you can't duct tape their mouths shut." After a moment, he suggested, "You can, however, rip their tongues out. I said I wouldn't dismember them. I didn't say anything about you."
"Eep!" Harley squeaked.
"Shutting up now," Joker announced. After a moment, he said, "You know, my boy, you'd have a BRIGHT future in the world of crime..."
"Sorry. I don't do bright," Xander replied. "Not anymore. It makes you a target."
Joker's face took on an expression of surprise, "Is that what I've been doing wrong?"
Xander snorted, "No, you want to be a target. You can't get recognition if you're not."
"Point."
"Uh, Mistah J? He's the one who wants to kill us, remember? Do we want to be recognized?"
"Not by him, perhaps. The Bat, on the other hand..."
Xander shook his head. This was going to be a long flight.
Joker was asleep, and so was Cyborg. Xander was close to nodding off himself and was thankful for the thermos of coffee he had next to him.
"Um... Mistah Nighthawk, sir?"
Xander looked over his shoulder, "What?"
Harley looked up nervously, "I-I-I... I wanna apologize."
"For what?"
"For hitting you in the... you know."
Xander winced and nodded, "Apology accepted, Harley."
"What was she talking about, 'Hawk?" Cyborg asked quietly.
Xander winced again, "Don't ask, Cy. Just... don't ask."
Cyborg shot him a sidelong glance as realization dawned on him, "Oh. Ohhh..." He frowned and lowered his voice, "You forgave her pretty quick for something like that."
Xander shrugged. "She's really not that bad for the most part," he murmured in reply. "She's just a violent maniac."
Author's Note:
Okay, she's mentally unstable, violent, and prone to wielding a mallet.
Gee, why does that sound familiar...?
On the other hand, Harley can cook...
"Huh," Cyborg leaned back and looked at Xander strangely. "You were playing a different tune a while back."
"I never planned on killing her, Cy," Xander replied quietly, refusing to meet Cyborg's gaze, his voice barely audible to even to Cyborg. "She's mostly harmless without Joker or Ivy leading her by the nose."
"Still, man," Cyborg shook his head, "you gotta admit that it'd be pretty hard to, you know, make her better. Add to that she's got a lot of bad blood with the Bat, and she'll never see the outside of Arkham..."
"I never said it would be easy, Cy," Xander said, "and it'll be near impossible as long Joker's still in the picture, but the best things never are: wealth, prosperity... love."
"You've been there, I take it?" Cyborg asked.
Xander shrugged, "You could say that."
Wow, thought Harley, kinda profound for a guy in tights.
Alfred Pennyworth was an observant man. One had to be in order to function well as a butler.
Or, for that matter, to survive in Her Majesty's service.
But given who his employer was, he was somewhat used to being surprised by stealthy appearances. In fact, his employer's ward had taken it as a challenge to startle him whenever possible and, before his departure, had achieved it with a tiring regularity.
So when the dark, shadowy shape of a man with a cape caught his attention in the Batcave, he wasn't extremely alarmed.
"Master Bruce?"
"No," Xander said as he stepped out into the light, "but thanks for the compliment."
Alfred backed away, "My word! Who are you? How did you get in here?"
"I'm Nighthawk, a friend of Robin's," Xander said. He lifted his two prisoners -- bound and, thanks to the judicious use of some knock-out gas, unconscious -- and tossed them to the floor of the Batcave, making sure not to hurt Harley.
He was somewhat less gentle with Joker. He'd probably wake up with a handful more bruises than he had when he'd conked out.
"Tell your boss to keep his trash out of my city," Xander said, turning to leave.
Xander blinked in surprise, just barely able to stop before running into Batman.
"I'll keep that in mind," the Dark Knight said.
"You do that," Xander replied, struggling to keep his cool.
"We've made some progress on getting you home."
"I'm sure you have."
Made sense, as far as Xander was concerned. Batman was plenty smart enough to figure out the connection between the Titans' otherworldly visitor and their newest member.
"I don't suppose you'd bother to tell me the truth if I asked you any questions about the future, would you?"
"And spoil all the fun? Oh, perish the thought," Xander grinned. This was actually kinda fun! "I will say this, though: Twenty years is a long time for a Gotham without a Bat."
From his position behind Nighthawk, Alfred could see what passed for pure shock on Master Bruce's face, but he doubted that anyone beyond a very select few would recognize it. Batman went on to ask, "Twenty years? Granted, even I need a vacation on occasion, but that's ridiculous."
Nightwing's voice was edged with a little dark humor when he spoke again, the words sending a chill down Alfred's spine, "Who said anything about a vacation? Things change, Wayne, and the cowl does come off. Some day, someone else might put it on, and when that day comes... he'll need your help. Now, I've got places to go. Think about what I said."
Once Nighthawk left, Batman shook his head and grinned, "I like him."
Alfred sighed. "You would, Master Bruce."
"Oh, man," Xander muttered, trembling and leaning against the fence around Wayne Manor. "I canNOT believe I just challenged Batman on his own turf! IN the Batcave, even!"
He shook it off and squared his shoulders. Time to meet back up with Cyborg.
Joker groaned as consciousness returned. He blinked as he looked around and grinned, "BATMAN! So good to see you!" He looked around with a little trepidation, "Uh, where's that maniac, Nighthawk? You have to get us away from him."
"He left."
Joker blinked. "Oh. Good."
"Uh, Mistah J? We're still with Batsy, though."
"So?" Joker shot back. "Worst he'll do is send us back to Arkham."
Impressed, Batman watched the two of them and shook his head, "I really like him."
Joker swallowed nervously.
"So, we're off?" Cyborg asked.
Xander looked up at the plane and slowly shook his head, "Maybe. Think you can fly her back by yourself?"
"Sure. Autopilot handles most of it, anyway. Why?"
"Well," Xander shrugged, "I was just thinking. Back home, I tried to go on a cross-country road trip. I got about forty miles."
"Oh," Cyborg nodded, "and you wanna finish it? Is that why you brought the N-Cycle?"
"Actually, yeah," Xander said.
"Go," Cyborg said. "Find yourself, 'Hawk. We'll manage."
Author's Postscript:
And off to the road trip.