Whitney Temperatures

Detention Squad

Birth of Faggotry

Chapter 14

"Remember, Saahil," said Saahil's autistic grandfather, "you are a true intellectual. You will always be a true intellectual."

"Yes, Grandpa!" said Saahil. Then his grandpa died. He remembered his grandfather's words as he tried to stand up from the pavement. Even after he learned the truth, he still believed those words. Yes, that terrible truth.

It was a normal Saturday afternoon in the last few day of Saahil's 120th year at Whitney, and he had just discovered the internet.

"This is so amazing!" yelled Saahil, "I can learn so many cool facts from this 'internet.' Nobody would ever tell lies on the internet!" And so, he went on with fapping to Richard Dawkins quotes on twitter while absorbing all the edginess on the interwebs. He would surely show the school how smart he was after summer break! And so he did. Or at least he thought he did.

Saahil stood at the entrance of the school, ready to show everybody how different and original he was. "Hey, you sheep!" he yelled at his gym classmates, "I bet you don't know about Hitler's war tactics! He didn't start the holocaust! The Jews did! The Jews put Germans in another dimension to steal all of their shoes while they were away! I know because the internet told me so! So, stop having opinions and agree with me!"

Everybody beat the shit out of him. With his nose bloodied and glasses broken, he wanted to research more "facts" on the internet. But before he could, he had to get into another debate. He had to pick a fight with an upperclassman MUNer. Saahil put all his might into one roar, "This is a monarchy! I am better than you due to my knowledge of the interwebs! I bet you listen to crappy pop music! Well I listen to classical music, you losers! Also, I like anime. Japan is best country. You're such a fucking pleb, are you even even Japanese bro?"

The MUNers stared at Saahil for a few seconds, then turned to talk to each other.

"I think we have to break it to him," whispered one.

"It's not going to be me. I don't want to have the faggotry busters on campus," muttered another.

One man stepped in front of them. "Fine!" he asserted, "I'll do it!" Jason, the top delegate for the MUNers, had experience in breaking elitist assholes.

"What do you want with me, you disgusting liberal?" asked Saahil.

"Blimey, Saahil, didn't you ever wonder where your grandfather learned it all?" Jason inquired.

Saahil was taken aback due to Jason's lack of aggression. "What are you talking about?"

"You're a faggot, Saahil."

Utter silence broke the field until Saahil got the words out of his mouth. "I-I'm a what?"

"A faggot. And a thumping good one, I'd wager. Don't worry, they have a special school for you. Artesia High School of Dickcraft and Assery."

"But I don't want to go! I want to stay here and spread my T.J. Kirk gospel to the plebs!"

"Goddamnit, kid. If you don't want to go, then just turn yourself in. Ya got no choice, faggot."

Saahil slapped Jason with retard strength, but to no avail as Jason quickly untied Saahil's shoes. Saahil looked down at his untied shoes that were never untied before. "I-I'll get you! I'll kill all of the MUNers!" screamed Saahil as he ran away from campus crying.

"Are you going to the school?" asked Jason from afar.

"NO!" screamed Saahil.

"OK then!" yelled Jason. "Have it your way! To me, my MUNers!" Jason's fellow MUNers swarmed from all directions and ravaged Saahil's anus before he could run away. Quicky turned into the faggotry busters, he went to the district prison for 500 autist years. During this time, Saahil's faggotry only grew.

Saahil recounted these moments after he lifted his body up and stared at Vedant's corpse. Those 500 autist years, Saahil thought, almost felt like a whole 5 months. I'll never forget it. And he never did.

TO BE CONTINUED