And I thought life was hard enough the first time.

OC self-insert (because I'm that shameless)

Wi-Fi is slow, so updates are going to be slow as well. Sorry guys!

Of course, Battle of Trost is also causing me unspeakable pains. That's also half the reason for my slow updates. Just – pain. I am in so much pain.

I also apologise for the slightly shorter than usual chapters. I promise post-Battle of Trost, there will be longer chapters. Hopefully.

Hey, no page breaks! Hooray for my first milestone! -solo celebration mode on-

Nina – I really liked that scene with Marco too. I'm glad it had the intended effect on some people. Muahahaha!

A fan – Something's definitely going on between the two. Something.

-0-

I let out a sigh of relief as we neared the wall. We weren't quite safe just yet, not if my odd collection of memories were right (and in chronological order), but at least it was better than being in Titan territory. I frowned at Annie, Reiner, Bertolt and Jean, who hadn't gone in without us.

"I told you to leave," Mikasa said, frowning as well. "I don't want you to get in trouble."

"We won't leave you behind," Jean retorted. I didn't know if he was just talking about Mikasa or all of us. With Jean, it could be anything.

"It's not safe for you," Mikasa argued as she attempted to single-handedly carry Eren to the lift. However, she didn't quite have the necessary muscle strength and struggled. I made to move forward, but Armin was faster, swinging Eren's other arm over his shoulders.

"It's hardly going to be safe for you too," Annie pointed out disinterestedly. "Just get over it. We're not leaving."

The ride down was quiet, Jean, Annie and I holding onto the lift from the outside due to lack of space. I couldn't help but muse that if this was me from Back Then, I would never have had the guts to hang from a lift while there was a fifty metre drop and no safety net. I probably would have accidentally lost my grip halfway down and plummeted to my death. Well, I still could, but I had a white-knuckled grip on the ledge. I needed this, the rush of danger to keep things into perspective. This was what I was supposed to do, make sure Mikasa, Armin and Eren were safe even if I had to put myself in harm's way.

Eren had gotten eaten. I'd say I was doing a pretty poor job already.

"Oh…" Armin whispered and I looked up from where I had been staring at my bloodless knuckles to stare at the soldiers that were surrounding us. Their swords were drawn and they were staring at us – at Eren – the way they would a wild animal… or a Titan.

"Cadets!" the panicked commanding officer from earlier (had it really only been hours?) shouted. "Leave the premises, except for Jaeger!"

"Leave," Mikasa ordered sharply, she and Armin dragging Eren out of the lift despite the panicked shouts of our commanding officer.

Jean opened his mouth to argue, but I squeezed his arm, causing him to look at me with wide eyes.

"Just go," I whispered, looking at all of them pleadingly. "Leave us be. She just doesn't want you guys to get in trouble and neither do I."

Jean narrowed his eyes at me, but I turned to Annie. Her eyes widened slightly in shock. "Get him out of here," I pleaded. "This isn't your fight."

I watched them as they were allowed to leave without contest. I really hoped Jean understood that Mikasa did care, in her own way.

"You three," the captain shrieked. "Get out of the way!"

"We don't understand why that's necessary," Armin shouted, grip tightening on Eren as Mikasa walked in front of us and withdrew her blades. "We've done nothing wrong!"

Of course, it was during that silence where we waited for the Garrison to answer that Eren chose the time to be somewhat lucid and spoke.

"I'll kill you," he murmured in a dreamy voice, his voice carrying too well in the tense silence. I jerked, eyes darting to Eren. I shuddered slightly at the maniacal smile spread across his face. I looked to Armin, wondering if the horrified look on his face was mirrored on mine.

"Eren?" Armin whispered cautiously. My fingers twitched to touch Eren's face, but I curled my hands into fists in my lap. He was so out of it, the look in Eren's turquoise eyes blank and devoid of thought. Mindless, like a brainwashed cult member.

I watched carefully as Eren's eyes slowly widened from the half-lidded gaze, the light of Eren coming back on. He blinked and gasped and I let out a sigh of relief. Eren was back, not that mindless Titan that had exterminated all those Titans behind that wall.

Mikasa turned back at Eren's gasp, her eyebrows drawn low as her gaze screamed worry and relief. "Eren!" she exclaimed and if I was standing, the sheer relief in her voice would have knocked me over.

"Eren, can you move? Are you yourself again?" Armin asked urgently. "Tell them everything you know! I'm sure they'll understand!"

I lifted a hand hesitantly before placing it on Eren's shoulder. His head jerked to mine, but I wasn't looking at him anymore. I was looking around at the soldiers surrounding us, wondering how we were going to get out of this alive. Fear was a powerful motivator for murder, I knew. Even if we tried to reason with them, I doubted they would listen.

Eren turned to Armin uncomprehendingly, looking so disorientated. "Armin?"

"Did you hear that?" one of the soldiers gasped. "He said, 'I'll kill you!'"

"Yes, I heard it too. He wants to devour us all!"

"He wouldn't do that," I argued loudly. The soldiers closest to us reared back in shock and I couldn't help but sneer. Honestly, they were scared of a bunch of teenagers. Admittedly, we were relatively skilled (or in Mikasa's case, extremely skilled) teenagers who were trained with sharp objects, but we were hardly lethal to them.

I glanced at Eren. He wasn't a monster. I had practically grown up with him for the past five years. I may not have known him as well as Mikasa and Armin, but I did know him. Eren Jaeger was far from a monster.

The captain seemed to turn red, which was an odd sight to see from this distance as his face almost blended with his moustache and beard. "Cadets Jaeger, Ackerman, Arlert and Vale! Your present behaviour is high treason. What do you have to say in your defence?"

"High treason?" I muttered, sharing a worried look with Armin. All because, what, Eren could turn into a Titan? It's not like he knew. No one knew; I had a suspicion that Dr Jaeger knew, though. He had been the cause for all this, hadn't he?

Ah, it didn't matter now. Not now. I could think about it when we didn't have cannons and guns pointed at us.

Eren emitted a small surprised noise.

"If you try anything deceitful or attempt to make a move," the captain continued in his high, panicked voice (how had he become a captain if he couldn't keep a cool head?), "the artillery will open fire on you immediately. We won't hesitate! I ask you: what are you, a human or a Titan?"

What kind of question was that? I bit my lip, eyes darting pleadingly towards the faces of each soldier. We were harmless enough. Did they honestly think we would kill them? There was no doubt that we had the skill, but we were a little more patriotic than that. It's not like we would want to aid in the extinction of the human race.

Eren inhaled sharply. Eren, please, I thought, standing up slowly so as not to alarm anyone and cause any misfires.

"I… I don't understand the question," Eren shouted.

"Damn monster!" the captain replied. "Try playing dumb with me again. We'll blow you to bits in an instant! We won't give you time to show your true face."

"My true face?" Eren repeated, sounding bewildered. I frowned down at him, placing my hand on the top of his head. Did he… well, I guess he didn't remember.

"Everybody saw it," Captain Bastard insisted, not even bothering to mask the fear in his voice. I'd really like to know how such a coward could rank so high. "You emerged from the carcass of a Titan. Mankind has allowed creatures like you to infiltrate Wall Rose. Even though you're cadets sworn to the King himself, it's appropriate to pre-emptively eliminate this risk!"

He wasn't seriously trying to say he'd blast an innocent cadet!

"You don't have proof that he's dangerous," I argued, taking a step forward so I was standing in front of Eren and Armin. "He wasn't harming humans!"

"I'm not wrong," he bellowed, face draining of blood. "The armoured Titan that broke through Wall Maria could appear at any moment! Mankind is once again on the brink of extinction. Do you get it? We can't afford to waste our troops and time on you. I'll blow you to pieces with the artillery!" he pointed at us, looking quite manic.

I bit my tongue, stopping myself from hurling my bountiful vocabulary of insults at him. Mankind was always on the brink of extinction, especially if we let idiots like make big decisions like this. I couldn't think of an argument that didn't end in me antagonising Captain Bastard (Eren did always say I had a real talent in annoying the heck out of people) and causing our deaths.

His fear was too great for us to do anything. The only option I could come up with was to fight our way out, but I glanced behind me at Eren. I didn't think he could even stand, let alone run.

"They are clearly defiant," I heard the ash-haired woman next to the captain comment. "I doubt we'll be able to obtain any useful intelligence from them. As you say, this is a waste of troops and time."

"Captain, it'll be easy right now. We can blow him away while he's in human form!" someone shouted. Fear is a great motivator for murder. Especially cold-blooded murder.

Mikasa stepped forward slowly, snapping on another blade and letting it rasp against the sheathe menacingly as she pulled it out. "My specialty is slicing up flesh. If need be, I'm prepared to display it," she announced slowly. "Anyone interested in experiencing my skills first hand, step right up."

My eyes widened. The last thing we should be doing was threatening them back. "Mikasa," I said sharply. "Violence isn't the answer."

"Mikasa, Armin, Dani!" Eren exclaimed quietly. "What's going on?"

"Mikasa! You can't fight our own people," Armin argued, panic beginning to creep into his voice. "Where could we run within these crowded walls?"

I grabbed her wrist, attempting to put her weapon down, but she flicked my hand away with a look of contempt. I… should have expected that. "I don't care who my opponent is," she declared. "I'm not letting anyone kill Eren. I couldn't care less about anything else."

"We need to talk with them," Armin pointed out almost desperately. "No one knows what's going on! Their fears are just running rampant."

"We can't talk to an unwilling audience," I sighed, the urge to bury my hands into my hair and pull almost overwhelming.

"I'll ask you once again. What are you?" Captain Bastard demanded.

I didn't look back at Eren. He didn't need the pressure. My hand rose to clutch at Dad's ring. This wasn't the end. Not because it couldn't be, but because I knew it wasn't.

I eventually glanced back, the fierce determination burning in his eyes the only sign that he had made a decision. I tightened my grip. It'll be the right one.

"I'm human!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the silent courtyard. Stunned silence followed.

I had begun to cautiously hope that this would end well, but then Captain Bastard's arm slowly started to rise. My eyes widened, almost not comprehending what was going on. He was… still going to shoot, even when Eren had truthfully answered. In the end, it hadn't even mattered which answer Eren would have given. Either answer ended in death.

Unbelievable.

Captain Bastard's hand pointed to the sky and Mikasa whirled around, saying urgently, "Eren, Armin, Dani! We're going up!" She grabbed my arm, almost yanking it out of its socket as we ran towards the boys.

"Where can we go?" I asked. Armin was right. We could hide nowhere within these walls. She didn't really think we could survive in Titan territory, did she?

"We're getting out," she muttered, snatching Eren up on her shoulder and ignoring his protest. My hand found Armin's out of reflex and I squeezed his hand, pulling him along. It was going to be okay. It had to be.

Eren's eyes met mine and he spun out of Mikasa's grasp, running towards Armin and me. My eyes widened further; I couldn't stop myself in time and Eren didn't look like he was going to. I crashed into him and we fell to the ground in a heap. At that moment, I heard the cannon discharge and was the only witness as Eren bit into his hand, drawing blood.

Lightning erupted around us, causing the hairs on my arms and on the back of my neck to stand. I shut my eyes against the glare, my hair whipping into my face in the sudden breeze. Heat enveloped us and there was another boom deafening my ears.

My eyes fluttered open, my ears still ringing a little from the noise and abuse it had suffered. I gasped as I looked up at the giant ribcage hanging above us, sitting up and pressing the back of my hand to my mouth in surprise.

"Unbelievable," I breathed, shaking my head a little. There was a voice that kept telling me something like this, a human turning into a Titan, should be impossible. Then again, it was the same voice that used to tell me Titans weren't real, so it was just one of the many voices (along with the voice of hysteria) that I easily ignored.

I looked over at Eren, who was strangely missing. Right, he was probably in the nape. Whoa.

"I remember hearing the cannon. There was an awful noise, then that impact and this heat…" Armin murmured. I squeezed his hand again, eyeing him with concern. There were tears lingering in the corners of his eyes, but it was most likely just from the shock of almost dying. "We're inside a gigantic skelet – "

"Eren protected us," Mikasa explained, side-eyeing the both of us. "That's all we need to know for now."

"You know," I started light-heartedly, causing Armin's and Mikasa's heads to turn towards me, "this is hardly disproving their theory that he's a monster." I paused, trying to find the best way for the words to leave my mouth without sounding too despairing. "How are we going to get out of this?"

Footsteps sounded. I gripped my handgrips, only managing to snap on one blade as a shadowy figure ran past the ribcage. I let out a sigh, putting down my blade as Eren appeared out of the steam. "Are you okay?" he asked urgently.

"Eren, what is this?" Armin asked, gripping my hand in a grip that threatened to cut off all circulation to my fingers.

"I don't know, but it's evaporating," Eren answered. Even as he spoke, the rib next to him began to flake off. "It's just like a Titan's carcass."

"We should get away," Armin suggested.

Eren turned away from us, looking out beyond the steam to where the soldiers were probably still waiting. "They're still watching, waiting to see what happens next." More like wondering if they needed to shoot another cannon ball at a bunch of innocent teenagers. "The Garrison can't see our movements right now, but eventually, they will attack again."

"If they can't see us, it'd be the perfect time to run," I said, looking up at the disappearing carcass above us once more. "We don't have anywhere to run off to, though."

Eren glanced at me, nodding once. "Right. And after this stunt, I doubt we can talk our way out of this one." He gripped the key hanging around his neck, holding it up for us to see. "I did remember one thing though. The basement. The basement of my old house. My father said I would understand everything if I went there. He's also the reason I'm like this."

Hey, future memory gets one point for being right. He looked up at the three of us. "If I get to that basement," he continued, "I'll probably find out the truth about Titans too."

I guess in this world, Dr Jaeger was the equivalent of Einstein. It couldn't have been easy, concocting a serum to give a person the ability to turn into a Titan at will. He had to have been mad too, to use his own son as a guinea pig. Dr Jaeger, mad scientist.

"Damn it," Eren cursed, driving his fist into the crumbling rib. "Why did he keep it a secret? It's the intel the Recon Corps has been searching for at the cost of thousands of lives. This is mankind's last hope!"

I'm sure he had his reasons. It didn't necessarily mean they were good reasons, but he had his reasons. I doubted saying that to Eren right now would console him.

"He was just keeping it locked away in the basement?" he gritted out. "What the hell was he thinking?" I had to wonder if it was a good idea to let Eren monologue. "Where has he been these past five years, after he abandoned us – "

"Eren, we've got more pressing matters now," Mikasa interrupted, placing a hand on his shoulder before running off. As we ran off further into the Titan, the skull dislodged from the spine and collapsed to the ground, throwing up more dust.

"I'm… going to go away," Eren revealed, looking more serious than I had ever seen him.

"Where to? How?" Armin questioned. Mikasa twitched and I could tell she wanted to protest, but held her tongue.

"For now, anywhere will do. Then, I have to get over the wall and find my old basement." He looked down at his hand and I couldn't help but note there was no bite mark. "Before that, I'll need to become a Titan again."

I held up a hand. "Okay, first of all, your basement is in Shiganshina."

He gave me a strange look. "Yeah, and…?"

"That's a hundred kilometres away. And in Titan territory. Secondly, can you even become a Titan again? I mean," I gestured up at the crumbling remains around us, "this is hardly a Titan that can move."

Eren looked up at us, looking a little stressed. He shook his head. "I don't know, but I think I can. Just like how you can't explain how you can make your arms move." He looked down at his hand, wiggling his fingers. "Earlier, I just focused on blocking the cannon fire. I think that's why my body had no real functionality or durability." He clenched his hand into a fist. "This time, I'll try something stronger. The fifteen-metre class form I used to kick the shit out of all those Titans!"

It was… risky at best. This was like picking up a random gun that was really complicated and needing to learn how to shoot it in a split second. We didn't know if this would turn out well. He didn't know how to control this power, damn it.

Mikasa jolted, jostling Armin into me. "Eren, your nose is bleeding," she pointed out, sounding a little alarmed. Eren wiped the thin trickle of blood from his nose, staring at the blood on his finger.

"You're really pale," Armin noted. "Your breathing's really heavy too."

I bit my lip. The consecutive… changes were probably taking a toll on his body. "Maybe you shouldn't try," I suggested slowly. "It's obviously too much for your body."

His eyebrows furrowed a little and I sighed. Of course we didn't through to him. He wiped away the rest of the blood, saying, "I don't care If I'm in bad shape right now." We care, dumbass. "I've got two ideas. If the three of you don't try to cover for me, they won't kill you. I've caused you enough trouble already. From here on out, I'm doing this alone."

"Like hell you are," I protested as Armin gasped, "No! I – "

"Eren," Mikasa said firmly, easily talking over the two of us. "I'm coming too."

Right, what she said!

"No," Eren replied immediately.

"If I can't keep up with you, then don't concern yourself with me," she insisted, "but I don't have to do whatever you say either."

"Cut the crap already, for fuck's sake," Eren snarled.

"You cut the crap!" I retorted, knocking the side of Eren's head with my fist. "It's her decision. I'm coming too and you can't stop me."

I glanced at Armin, but I wouldn't abandon him. If he decided to stay… well, he'd be safe. If not for me, I could at least hope that Jean would look out for him for Mikasa's sake. I wouldn't pressure him.

Of course, this was all irrelevant since we'd end up in the Recon Corps, but they didn't know that and I gravely doubted my saying so would help. I didn't have any proof to back me up.

He growled, slapping my hand away. "I'm not Mikasa's little brother or kid and I'm not yours either, so back off!"

"Do you really think you can do this alone? You won't have anyone to watch your back – "

"I'll deal with it if I have to!"

"You won't have to," Mikasa interjected. "We're coming with you."

His angry gaze darted between Mikasa and me. Both his hands clenched into fists. "The two of you are a lot more useful to mankind."

I shared a brief glance with Mikasa. He was right, partly; Mikasa would be a lot more useful to humanity if she stayed with the military.

"He's right," I said seriously, causing both of them to stare at me in shock.

"Dani," Mikasa said sharply, but I held up a hand to signal I wasn't done.

"That's why Mikasa should stay and I'll go with him. Mikasa's arguably humanity's strongest fighter. She could do a lot for humanity."

Eren glared at me. "That wasn't what I meant! Both of you are a lot more useful – "

"What can I add on to humanity that they don't already have?"

"What about Armin?" Mikasa asked quietly.

I faltered. What about Armin? He was my best friend. I had promised to protect him, but I couldn't ever coax him into this suicide mission, even if this was only theoretical.

"Won't you look after him for me?" I countered, looking up at her imploringly.

"Wait, Dani, Mikasa," Eren interrupted. "I said I had two ideas."

I blinked, backing down. Right. Always have a contingency. Eren nodded at both of us before turning to Armin, who had been absent from the conversation. I turned back to him, worried about the look on his face.

"Armin, I want you to make the final call," he said, Armin's head jerked up, eyes widening slightly. "I'm fully aware how unrealistic this plan is. Even so, our best option would be using this Titan power strategically to aid the army." He stared down at his hand before looking back up at Armin. "I know it sounds insane. If you're confident you can convince the Garrison I'm not a threat, then I'll believe you and stay here. That's my second idea. If you say you can't do it, then I'll go with my last resort, the option I described earlier. You've got fifteen seconds to decide." Even as Eren spoke, I could imagine the turning of gears as they loaded up and took aim. I turned around, squinting out through the dust in vain to see how the movement was out there.

"Can you do it?" Eren asked. "Either way, I'll respect your opinion."

"Eren… why would you entrust such an important decision to me?" Armin whispered.

Eren smiled a little. "No matter how messed up things get, you always figure out the best solution. I want to rely on you."

"When have I ever…"

"A bunch of times," Eren answered without really needing to hear the question. "Five years ago, if you hadn't gotten Hannes, Mikasa and I would have been eaten by that Titan."

"I would have gotten eaten too," I added, placing my hand over Armin's. "If you hadn't come back for me, I wouldn't be here."

Behind us, a piece of the Titan crashed to the ground.

"Armin, we're running out of time," Eren said urgently.

Armin stood up suddenly and I knew he had made his choice. No matter what the situation, Armin would always have the clearest head among the four of us.

"I'll convince them," Armin stated. "Do your best to show them you don't intend to resist."

I looked up at him, feeling the oddest feeling of pride swelling in my chest. I pushed it away, nodding once. He turned and ran out of the dust and I made an aborted movement to follow him, but managed to stop myself even as Eren placed a warning hand on my shoulder. I felt skittish, letting Armin go out there alone, but he had to do it alone. It's not like I would have said anything anyway.

"Would you really have gone with me?"

I didn't look at Eren, my eyes fixed on where Armin had run off to. I know I said I would have gone, but I was starting to think I wouldn't. I had seen the look in Armin's eyes. If it had boiled down to Eren needing to run… well, he would have had Mikasa with him. I wasn't necessary. No, I would have been dead weight.

"I wouldn't have thought any less of you," he continued.

"I know," I replied, "and that's why I probably would have stayed. He doesn't realise it yet."

"Realise what?"

I finally looked over at Eren, a small smile playing on my lips. "That between the two of us, I'll always need him more." I patted his hand on my shoulder. "You guys would have done fine without me anyway."

"Stop!" I heard Captain Bastard shriek and I shot up instinctively, although I wasn't planning on rushing forward. Eren held onto my wrist with an iron grip, preventing me from running forward even if I wanted to. Ugh, I hate this. "You finally showed your true colours, monster! I'll signal! I'll signal the cannon!"

"He isn't the enemy of mankind," Armin shouted back. "We're willing to share all the intelligence we've gathered!"

"Begging for your lives is useless now," came the reply. "He revealed his true form right in front of us. There's nothing left to say! If you say he's not an enemy, prove it! If you can't do that, I will eliminate the threat."

It didn't sit well with me, standing by like this, but there was nothing to be done. I would normally trust Armin's persuasion skills wholeheartedly, but the real rule-breaker was fear. There was no way to measure the fear that filled all of them out there.

They didn't know Eren the way we did. They had no way of knowing if Eren was a good person or not. It was up to Armin to prove he was.

"There's no need for further proof," Armin replied. "The issue isn't how we see him."

"What?"

"You said everybody saw him. Then they must have seen him fighting the Titans too! They must've seen all the Titans ganging up against him. The Titans see him as prey, just like the rest of mankind. Nothing you say can change that fact!"

Armin Arlert, you're a genius.

Silence followed his proclamation. Sweat trickled down my temple and down my jaw. The three of us had no way of knowing how the others were taking that information.

"Prepare to attack!" I tensed as Eren's grip on my wrist tightened slightly. "Don't fall for this clever trap. Their actions have always been beyond our comprehension. If they can transform into humans and speak our language, that's just another way for them to fool us! We can't let them do as they please!"

The dust started to clear and I could see Armin, his head turned towards us. I sent him what I hoped was an encouraging look instead of my scared shitless face. We were all scared.

Determination flashed in his blue eyes as he turned around and his fist came up to his chest in a salute. "As a soldier, I swore to devote my heart to the resurrection of mankind!" he yelled out to them. "There is no greater glory than dying for that belief. If we added his Titan power to the might of our armies, it might even be possible to recapture the town!"

That was assuming our army had any might, but if our superior officers were like Captain Bastard out there, we were doomed.

"For the glory of the human race, I beg you. In my final moments before I die, permit me to explain his strategic importance!"

The captain looked frantic, but it didn't look like he was going to change his mind. I had my hand on my handgrips. All I needed to do was snap on one more blade and I'd be ready to fight. I might not have been as good as Mikasa, but I could slice up flesh too and I wouldn't hesitate to hurt anyone who tried to kill myself or my friends. Captain Bastard's hand started to raise and I tightened my grip on my handgrip.

I stilled in shock as a hand stopped Captain Bastard's arm before it could signal the cannons to shoot. My eyes shot to the bald man next to him and I leaned against Eren slightly in relief. I stared in apprehension as the bald man (impressive moustache, though) strode forward, in front of Captain Bastard. Hey, I didn't know Hannes, but even I knew Hannes was a much better captain.

I closed my eyes in relief, tilting my head up to the sky as the bald man (Commander Pixis, I had to remember) said, "I think it'd be worthwhile to hear what they've got to say."

In front of us, I heard Armin flop down to the ground, panting heavily.

"Knew he could do it," I breathed as I let myself sink to my knees next to Eren, leaning into him and feeling like laughing.