I don't own any of KFP characters or locations. I own only the OCs.
That night was full of nightmares.. Not for everyone in the New Panda Village but for a certain giant panda, who after the whole previous day spent in bed crying and shivering, had fallen asleep early, when dusk was falling upon the green bamboo valley hidden deep in the mountains. But the sleep didn't bring Master Zhú any rest or relief. She had fallen asleep multiple times only to see another horrible things her mind tormented her with and wake up sweaty and trembling with fear. And see another torturous things again.
In one nightmare, there was a long line of wolves - males, females and children - walking in a row. Their bodies were naked and scrawny, their fur thin and gray. Having their heads lowered, they weren't looking the pandas in the eyes. Hope didn't exist for them anymore. They knew they were being led to the place of their ultimate end. Zhú wasn't thinking of what exactly her role there was, but she knew nobody could prevent the wolves' doom. The sight of the hungry, weak, robbed prisoners of all ages going to meet their deaths, the smell of their ailing bodies was something what made her wake up with sickness and covered with cold sweat.
That disgusting, upsetting feeling didn't leave her even after falling asleep again.
The next nightmare was happening in the Hideout itself, at night. There was nobody in the paths. Zhú was running away, her heart was pounding hard against her chest with horror. Her panda master was chasing her, but of course, like in any bad dream, she could barely move. Zhú once looked over her shoulder to check if she was throwing him off, two green eyes flashed ominously among the bamboo trees before the giant bear jumped from between them, pursuing her further. She was trying hard to flee, but he was getting closer and closer. Her mind was doing its best to force her to keep moving, but she was just too weak, too tired. In the last burst of despair she threw herself onto the ground to run on all fours when her heart leaped with fright. Too late. With a shriek, her body suddenly collapsed hard onto the ground when she felt the green-eyed devil dig his claws deep into her back.
Zhú woke up violently in the middle of the night, shaking with fear and breathing rapidly, almost not believing it had been just a bad dream. She turned over in the dark and buried herself deeper under the blanket, still feeling the non-existent wounds on her back. Her body desperately needed to calm down, but she was afraid to drift off again, being sure it hadn't been the last nightmare that night.
And she was right, what was proved by another gruesome images she started to see, not being aware that she had fallen asleep again.
Zhú was suffering, but she didn't know why yet. The panda felt streams of tears running down her cheeks, and soon she smelled a strong stench of blood. It was everywhere around her. When she opened her eyes, she saw two prisoners being slowly pulled up two raw, unplaned beams and hung by the wrists on them. Judging by their condition, the prisoners had gone through long and severe tortures, for they both were too weak to try to fight or escape and they would be now left to wait for their long, hard deaths. The color of body of the prisoner on the left side was suspiciously fair. Zhú narrowed her eyes, trying to see him better and she realised the prisoner was a wolf. It wasn't his fur what was so white, those were his bare bones and ribs. His face almost didn't resemble a face of a wolf. Even his eye sockets seemed to be empty. The torturers had been starving him so slowly to only keep him alive and prolong his death as much as they could. His skin eventually nearly disappeared, leaving his skeleton and some organs partly exposed. The magnitude of his suffering horrified Zhú, who couldn't understand what monster was feeding himself on it. How could anyone look at that? Enjoy it? Remember it? Continue it? The panda shifted her eyes to the other prisoner; he was a wolf too, and though he didn't look starved to death yet, he was in no better condition. His whole body was covered with numerous cuts and bruises. He was bleeding from every wound on his body and she knew in how great pain he was. The torturers didn't plan a merciful death for him, though. They dragged his body up the beam, tearing his skin, which had already been destroyed with flogging, on the long, sharp splinters sticking out behind his back. Zhú saw his blood running down the wooden beam and dripping off his feet. The wolf didn't even have enough strength to writhe, apparently broken and resigned to his upcoming death. Zhú had no idea who the wolves really were. Maybe those who had broken into her parents' house? She was trying hard to guess, but she couldn't. Their pain broke her and she was suffering and weeping, but she wasn't able to do anything, even make a step. The fact that she had no chance to escape, help them or stop the tortures overwhelmed her and her heartbeat and breathing became very hard. Then suddenly, something completely unexpected happened; the bleeding wolf wasn't unconscious, he raised his head and looked her in the eyes. Then he said only one word to her.
"Love."
Zhú woke up in tears as she fell off the bed with a loud thud, and she found herself lying on the floor, entangled in the blanket. Struggling with it desperately, she freed herself and ran out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, only to get as far from the damned bed as possible. The panda leaned on the back of the nearest chair, catching her breath hard. After a moment, when she felt dizzy, she sat down at the table and buried her face in her paws, trying to get rid of the atrocious events she had almost taken part in.
Forget, forget, forget, forget, forget...
It didn't matter what actually had happened or was happening. Nobody could just ignore lightly the fact of nearly becoming a mass murderer. Someone having her hands stained with the blood of innocent beings. Someone hated, known widely and despised all over the world. She ran her paws over her fluffy black ears, trying to stop hearing the sounds from the vivid dreams.
Forget, forget, forget...
Zhú wiped her tears again, trying not to think anymore. She stood up and started to walk around the table. Though her body craved and begged for some rest, her mind was too conscious and too awaken. The panda hoped that tiring her body would help her to fall into a dreamless sleep. So she walked, and walked and walked... and after many circles around the table, her legs, eyes and back gave up.
When she decided she was fatigued enough, she finally returned to the bedroom and slumped onto the bed, pulling the blanket onto herself. Zhú really managed to fall asleep faster. But it was a very uneasy sleep, full of nervous tossing and turning and shreds of disturbing dreams, a sense of guilt and memories. And finally, after a few long hours of something what must have been a deep, unconscious sleep, her eyes opened all by themselves.
It was morning already... The sun shining through the window was filling the room with a soft light. Dust motes were swimming in it calmly. The house was dead silent as always, but the voices of the villagers walking down or up the path were coming from outside from time to time. Zhú blinked slowly. The panda's head was resting motionlessly on the pillow flattened during the night. She was utterly and completely exhausted. She hadn't taken off her clothes since the previous day. Her fur was still soaked with cold sweat after the hard night and blinking again, she felt the dry tears on her face and in the eyelids. The blanket was covering her whole body and one of its ends was right under her chin. She must have been very cold at night. And she still wasn't feeling well at all. The pain in the muscles and bones after falling off the bed, a headache, weakness and nausea made her feel ill again. She didn't even want to think of the wounds.
The old habit of getting up to work at dawn surfaced and she quickly sat up.. only to remember that there was no academy for her anymore. That she had no reason to wake and get up. No trainings. No students. No job. Zhú sniffled and fell heartbroken back onto the bed. The panda curled up and wrapped her body in the blanket again. She felt so dizzy and thirsty.
She thought of her parents, staring at the opposite wall blankly. She missed them much. Dying in complete loneliness was hard. Full of longing to see the lost loved ones.
Zhú allowed herself another hours of a drowse. After all, she was ill. She decided to stay in bed as long as she needed it. Or even better, for the rest of her life. Fortunately, nightmares seldom came in the daytime.
Her mind running wild brazenly lulled her to sleep with relaxing illusions of being held in the arms of that panda she had come to love and listening to his words spoken only to her.
Illusions which eventually left her awake in the empty room, with a heartache and utter shame. Tai Lung's words unexpectedly returned to her, especially that disgusting thing he had said about her 'inferiority'. Nobody had told her before what they really thought about her. At least not to her face.
The panda blinked a lone tear away with bitterness and pulled the blanket higher onto her shoulders, as if it could change anything... but she felt safe lying like that. Safe from that world outside where nothing and no one was for her.
Meanwhile, in the school valley, the large group of the pandas was standing in front of the big building. Everyone had gathered there, the teachers, the students from the school and from the village and all the former servant girls on the other side of the crowd. Master Heng was standing before them, explaining to them their situation.
The teachers looked rather uneasy and seemed to feel guilty. For the whole meeting Yùlán didn't look at him even once. Her friends weren't very talkative that day either.
"...I realise that you are worried about your teacher. But before those of you who have decided to end the supplementary training today return home, I must ask you all not to visit Master Zhú for some time. Due to her ill health, she needs a lot of time to fully recover..." Master Heng, curious and uncertain about their reaction continued. "...and I'm afraid she won't return to the academy." He stated.
The pandas finally started to look as if they actually were listening to him. A quiet murmur of surprise went through the group of the students, but it ceased quickly. After making sure that they all felt well, Po's father had been afraid about how they would react, learning about Zhú's illness and her dismissal. He had been watching their mood and attitude, but to his surprise, their reaction wasn't clear. They didn't look furious or angry, though. As if they didn't take it entirely seriously that someone who had always been there could suddenly disappear. And probably they were as disoriented by the whole situation as Zhú herself was.
Now, Yùlán lowered her head and actually looked as if she had gone into mourning. Nobody on the side where the teachers were standing spoke up, though. Lihua, who was standing at the end of the servants' side, looked similarly distressed as Yùlán did. No wonder, since she had lost someone she looked up to.
"The girls may choose if they want to continue their training and education or if they want to return to their old work. In a pinch, we'll share the chores among everyone." The great master said. "I think everything has been said. Do you have any questions before I go to the gardens?"
The pandas became slightly anxious and some of them started looking around. They had enough courage only to exchange several whispers or looks with the pandas standing behind them. "Will we be punished?" One of the older students eventually asked aloud from the crowd. He most likely asked this question on behalf of the students, the younger ones especially. The teachers could really take any punishment, but to the servants, the idea of being punished by the panda master was still rather terrifying.
"...No." The master replied after a long thought. "You are dismissed."
When the crowd began to disperse and in a murmuring confusion before the school the pandas started to make their decisions about their nearest future, Master Heng, making his way to the storeroom with garden tools, noticed that one of the girls looked particularly worried. The panda, dressed in a long, sleeveless dress made of linen in a fair, natural shade of grey, was wearing a green shawl with green flowers embroidered on it around her shoulders, she lowered her head and moved away from the other girls entering the dining hall through the side door.
"Lihua?" The master said to her. She raised her head and turned, surprised a bit, as he approached her. "Will you continue your training?" He asked as he began making his way towards the storeroom with her, though she didn't seem to be going in any particular direction.
"I haven't decided yet." She answered briefly and looked away. He felt that she didn't want to talk with him at all. It was so apparent that she held a grudge.
Two steps later, though he didn't want to be bothersome, he continued. "What about your day-off?"
"I'm going to spend it in the village."
At that point, Master Heng stopped suddenly and turned to her, at what the girl stopped automatically too. "Lihua, that thing I said about not visiting Master Zhú concerns you too." He reminded in a meaningful tone, looking at her attentively.
She threw a glance into the male's eyes for a very short moment before looking away, her fingers crumpled the ends of the shawl unawarely; little did he know why, but she looked seriously resentful, even though she was trying not to show it. "I know." She finally assured, hoping he would let her walk away.
To the master, it really wasn't easy or pleasant to disappoint someone like that girl by taking away her idol and probably her hope. But he had to do what was necessary. He eventually left her there and made his way to the storeroom.
The master entered Zhú's vegetable garden. For a moment he felt as if he had gone back in time to his youth. He laid a small shovel, a hoe, and a wicker basket on the ground and looked around the small garden. Zhú's young vegetables and flowers - onions, wild garlic, parsley, carrots, radishes, young beets and pot marigolds - looked neglected. Weeds and camomiles had gone wild, it was apparent that Zhú had been very busy... and she had not been there for a long time. The big bear shrugged, he folded the green cloak and hung in on the small fence, then he knelt down on the grass to begin gathering the vegetables.
He decided to leave the weeds and flowers for now and placed the onions and garlics in the basket, then he focused on uprooting the carrots and parsleys and the rest of the roots. Working in a garden was always very relaxing and almost meditative, but in those circumstances, Po's father didn't feel very happy at all; removing his friend's plants was depressing. Even heartbreaking, as if he was making a material symbol of removing Zhú from the academy forever. But the plants were still her possession and she needed something to eat.
So, after a longer while, when Master Heng's hands were covered with the dirt for he was brushing it off the beets, someone approached him slowly and the sounds of the quiet steps on the grass finally woke him from the deep thought and he turned his head. He saw with surprise two pandas standing before the garden. "Yes?" He asked, seeing Master Rong and Master Yao.
The males were looking somehow uncertain, they exchanged uneasy glances. "Master, there's one matter..." Yao began, plucking at his elbow unawarely.
Master Heng, completely calmly, returned to whatever he was doing. Shaking the dirt off the radishes, he didn't know the two teachers nervously had started giving each other signes to continue. "I'm listening." He said, not hearing anything from them.
Rong, after glancing at Yao irresolutely, finally gathered up the courage and after taking a deeper breath, he started. "We've just thought that... if Master Zhú is not going to... return... maybe you could..." He hesitated, glancing at the other teacher again. "...lead us to battle?.." He finished with a very nervous smile audible in his voice.
Master Heng froze, completely not believing what he had just heard. They can't be serious. He put the vegetables on the ground and turned to the teachers again. Seeing a look of utter indignation on his face, the two pandas already knew they were in trouble. They even made an automatic step back. "Didn't I make myself clear?" The great master asked, his voice betraying growing anger. "Or did you just nod off for that moment when I was saying there would be no war?... Not for us! And we will NOT leave the mountains! Understand?!"
"Yes, of course, Master!" They immediately assured, but when they started bowing rapidly to placate him, he suddenly grabbed something lying on the ground. Seeing the panda master throw something at them, Yao quickly pulled Rong by the arm and they cleared off... though luckily for them, the projectile had been one of the radishes, not a tool.
Unbelievable. The panda shook his head and looked at the vegetables. He was staring at them for a good moment, as if he couldn't remember what he was going to do now. They've totally gone out of their minds with boredom.
He placed the vegetables in the basket and sat down beside the marigolds. The panda, though he was trying to be careful, was still annoyed by Rong and Yao's suggestion. He stuck the blade of the shovel into the ground and lifted a piece of the soil with the small clump of the calendulas. Huh? He examined the hole in the ground and what he was holding. Oh, darn. He had damaged the roots.
Though it was already late afternoon, Zhú was still lying in her bed, in her clothes, tired and sleepy, clutching tightly at the edge of the blanket pulled on her shoulders. The bad emotions that had built up in her muscles were making her stress worse and worse and she couldn't even think of eating anything because of the nausea. The long hours of her solitude had been dragging on mercilessly and she even had managed to forget who was going to visit her that day.
Unfortunately, she quickly remembered it when she heard quiet and short knocking on the door. She sighed heavily and started to get up. Though she didn't have any mirror in her home, she knew she wasn't looking well. But, seriously, who cared?
The door finally opened and Master Heng saw Zhú. The female really didn't look very fresh. Actually, with that disheveled fur, she looked as if he had just woken her up in the middle of the night. Her upturned, a bit feline eyes, although pretty as always, were still red from crying and looked even more sad than usually. He smiled nervously to her, yet she didn't look like she was going to return the smile at all.
"Hi. I've brought your things." He said and looked at something standing beside the door. "Your vegetables, clothes... and the flowers. From your garden." He added, trying shyly to hand her the bunch of the camomiles and orange calendulas he was holding.
Zhú leaned out the door and looked at the things. A small, two-level wooden handcart was standing there, rested against the wall. On the upper level, she recognized the plants from her garden lying there, her clothes from her room at the academy were folded up and had been put lower along with a small jar. The first supplies for her... "I see you've had a lot of free time." She remarked with a blank expression on her face.
"That's true.." He admitted, glad that she had finally said something; Ming and Chen's move suddenly sprang to his mind. "Especially lately..."
"Thanks for the vegetables. You can keep the flowers." The female stated emotionlessly and went back inside, slamming the door right in his face.
He remained there for a really long moment with the bunch in his paw and a look of shock on his face. Did she really do... that?... He couldn't remember anyone slam the door in his face for almost the last thirty years. That was a very... strange feeling. To make it worse, a loud gasp of shock coming from the gardens on the other side of the path made him aware he wasn't the only witness of that event.
He dropped the flowers on the ground and left the small front yard, not to stand there like an idiot who had just been rebuffed.
Zhú entered her bedroom, feeling the same debilitating shame and other awful emotions in each muscle in her body again. She collapsed limply onto the bed and didn't want to get up ever again, thinking of the food left in front of her house. But then, as if on cue, her empty stomach started to remind her in a very loud way that she should eat something warm even despite feeling nauseous and exhausted. How much time had it been since she had eaten anything? Four days?.. Even despite being a giant panda, she would have absolutely nothing against starving herself to death, but eventually, the residual common sense won. Or maybe it was her stomach..
She dragged the small handcart into the hall and stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Then the panda leaned her head against the door frame with a melancholic sigh through the nose. I forgot I can't cook.
Zhú didn't feel up to experiment with pots, but her stomach continued to grumble, so she hit on an idea of going out to eat something. But going out... outside... where the other pandas knowing about her treachery were... that idea filled her with dread. She could imagine all the worst-case scenarios.
Besides, she really needed a bath (which she realised with relief) in the first place. She thought for a moment and finally decided that she would go for the water to the river at night. There were still a few hours to dusk left, so she needed to wait patiently.
Zhú walked into the bedroom unhurriedly and smoothed the clothes she was dressed in, nervous from thinking of going to the village; the clothes were crumpled, her attention focused on the green robe as her fingers stopped on it. That robe was almost like a second skin to her. Or rather had been.. I won't need it anymore. The panda thought with regret; she took the robe off and let it fall off her arms and eventually left it on the floor carelessly.
She sat down heavily on the bed. A sudden, sharp pain in her right paw and a breathless gasp caused by the involuntary irritating reminded her about the wounds on her fingers. Zhú looked at the paw, but she didn't even want to know how the fingers looked like. She focused on the wounded left forearm instead. The burning pain made her aware that her arm didn't look well either. The panda pulled up the left sleeve of her tunic and started to unwrap the bandage though her hands were shaking a bit. As the panda saw the dry blood that had seeped through the fibres, she had a bad feeling about what she would see next. When finally the last fragment of the stained fabric was removed, she saw a long, deep red wound running from the elbow almost to the back of the wrist. The wound, which was already starting to close, was surrounded by two or three shallow cuts, but they all were causing her burning pain. Zhú spent a long while staring blankly at the wounds, but eventually, the only thing which came to her mind was that the deepest scratch would surely leave a long, visible scar. Well, who cares?... The female thought sadly, honest with herself. I don't have anyone to be beautiful for. She wrapped her forearm back in the old bandage and awkwardly tucked the end of it between the skin and the rest of the dirty dressing.
That evening at the Tea Palace was unbearably quiet... Ming and Chen were now probably getting used to their new house on the other side of the Hideout and to each other as a family. Without their cheerfulness the palace seemed to be so sad. Deshi and Tai Lung had decided their panda friends didn't need them now, so instead of visiting them that day, they stayed at home and to tell the truth, they didn't have much to do. The trainings and classes at the academy had been suspended for a few days. Master Heng hadn't said anything about their own trainings in the village yet. He actually had almost stopped talking at all, as if avoiding his two students. Tai Lung knew he had a rough time after Ming and Chen's move and that incident with Zhú. But the master didn't complain, keeping his worries to himself. And to Tai, the old master's behavior was something really disturbing.
It was getting really late; Deshi had probably gone to the village to wander around aimlessly, like a typical wolf. Meditation wasn't going well to Tai that night. Actually, it would be extremely weird if he succeeded in attaining any sort of peace right after almost losing his kung fu master, his friends forever, his own life, well, especially the master, for his life had hung by a thread back on the cliff. He subconsciously tried to justify his cruel behavior towards Zhú by dragging his thoughts away from that topic... with a mediocre result.
But the breakdown of the Balance broke his heart. Zhú broke his heart.
Oooh! He had had enough of sitting in his room in the lotus position with a racing mind, so after a dozen or so tries, he finally gave up, sighing with frustration.
Tai Lung went downstairs and heard some sounds he hadn't expected to hear there; crackling of some small wooden pieces burning in the fireplace in the main hall. It was strange, because that night was rather warm.
The panda walked up to the fireplace, which was spilling a warm light in the dark vast hall. Master Heng was kneeling before the flames and reaching his hand towards them. He was dressed in his soft white clothes, as if he had got up in the middle of the night.
"What are you doing?" Tai asked, seeing that the other panda was feeding something small to the fire.
"Burning Zhú's letters." The master answered in a quiet, calm voice, not surprised by Tai's presence. "I kept the evidences against her in case we needed something to incriminate her.. It seems we don't need them anymore." He explained and before the last flames went out, he burned the last piece of paper screwed into a ball.
Tai Lung didn't comment on Master Heng's decision and the other panda didn't seem to be waiting for his opinion about destroying the evidences. Apparently, for some reason the master thought it would be better. When the last flames were dying in the gray ashes, the old panda got up off the floor and left the hall without a word.
The Hideout had gone to sleep rather early, for the pandas preferred getting up at dawn. It was dark and quiet in the village, though the lamplighter had left the bamboo lanterns lit along the main pathways, and almost a full moon was looming over the dark, sleeping valley of bamboo trees and rice terraces. Deshi liked wandering around the Hideout at night; the awareness that he was probably in the safest and the most peaceful place in China was very relaxing and thrilling at the same time. It was funny how the greatest cities of that country were no match for this small village when it came to uphold peace. Maybe it was the matter of not having money or living in a small society, literally 'close' to Mother Earth and her mysteries, or having a good leader, or maybe it was something else...
The wolf entered a bamboo thicket, trying to find a shortcut to the neighbouring pathway. Well, it was a mistake. The bamboo trees, not eaten by the pandas living in the houses nearby, grew close one next to another and didn't welcome him warmly. Soon after entering, the wolf stepped on a young, sharp shoot breaking through the ground in the dark, then cursing quietly, he fell against the nearest trees, which bent under his weight and pushed him against the bamboo growing on the opposite side. In that 'skilful' way, Deshi managed to get out of the thicket, getting smacked by the twigs and branches. When he finally was on the other path, he decided not to annoy and wake the villagers living there and he darted away, somersaulting in the air twice when he was closer to a bridge leading to the west path. Probably completely unaware that his playful mood was caused by the 'happy' ending of the case of Zhú and Shan's trophies. He landed on the grass so quietly that he himself was surprised. He had always wanted to move so soundlessly like this cool night wind around him. His father had been right telling him that such a skill could never be overestimated. At least it certainly had been useful in Shan's camp.. I should practice this more often... He thought to himself satisfied, approaching an old weeping willow growing not so far from the hill.
Then all of a sudden, Deshi's heart leaped as out of the corner of his eye he saw someone on the opposite river bank. That was something rather unexpected. He froze, staring directly at the villager. The panda kneeling on the other side of the river was holding a bucket and was drinking something from it very greedily. Another bucket was standing on the ground nearby. Though the only light there was the strong moonlight, he managed to see bandages on the creature's fingers and forearm. Actually, it was quite easy to see them, since the pandas had black fur on those body parts. And the bandages could mean only one... Deshi realised who the panda was, feeling some inexplicable fear, but only after several seconds he understood what the reason for his anxiety was. Zhú apparently didn't know someone else was there, so before the panda could notice him, the wolf got down instinctively, sticking only his ears out of the blades of the grass and watched her from that poor hiding place in the shadow of the old willow. This time, despite the sounds of the river, his moves didn't go undetected. Zhú stopped drinking and put the bucket on the ground, swiveling her black, furry ears around. Her head wasn't moving at all, but suddenly, when the wolf's heart was racing, he could swear, she turned her head and looked right in his direction. He wasn't sure if she could really see him from there, but he narrowed his eyes just in case, not to flash at her. The bear, although she certainly heard something, didn't seem to be willing to investigate. She immersed the two buckets in the river, filling them with water to the brims and after pulling down the sleeves, she walked away with the buckets, never looking back.
Deshi's heart rate started to return to normal as the panda disappeared in the faint light from the lanterns between the houses located along the west path. When he finally could take a deeper breath, he sat on the ground as some questions came to his mind.
Actually, what was Zhú doing in the middle of the night by the river? If she needed water, why didn't she come here earlier? She drank as if she hadn't drunk anything for a week. Maybe she was ill? At least she didn't look like someone who liked to booze... The obvious thing was that Zhú was trying not to be seen by anyone.
A colder wind, which suddenly had started blowing from north made him shudder, so he rubbed his arms; it wasn't a good moment to stay there and reflect, he already had goosebumps all over his tail. The wolf made his way towards the hill, not stumbling across even one panda on the way home.