Finally I've finished this. Thank you all for reading it and your patience while waiting for the final part. I am still not 100% happy with it but I think it is the best I can do with it. I regret it is so sugary that it might give you tooth decay and I would like to make clear that I will not be responsible for any dental bills. I can't afford my own.
Epilogue
Sam and Dylan held hands walking along the towpath like two teenagers. If it hadn't been for Sam's almost imperceptible limp you might have thought they were a pair of lovestruck teenagers. They were barely touching yet the connection between them was still obvious.
They walked past the place where the houseboat they'd called home for more than two years had once been moored. She was long gone now – age and the weather had inevitably led to the boats deterioration and she'd been sold for scrap more than a decade ago. Sam had been inconsolable when it happened even though it wasn't theirs anymore.
"I miss our boat," Sam said wistfully "We were so happy there."
"We were," Dylan agreed "But we couldn't stay. It was impossible you know it was."
"I know, and I'm used to the house now," she replied.
"It only took you what ten years to decide you liked it?" he teased her as he so often did. He often insisted that getting Sam to agree to buy the house had taken ten years or more off his life.
"Not quite that long," she denied at once.
They'd found the big old house further down the towpath more than twenty years ago and aside from the fact that it was in need of what the estate agent called extensive modernisation and Dylan called a virtual rebuild it was perfect. In other circumstances the beautiful house overlooking the Marina with a garden that stretched right down to the water would have been the kind of house that featured in Homes and Gardens or Country Living however this rambling pile belonged to the Keogh's and as such the glossy magazines would not be rushing to sign it up for their aspirational living pages anytime soon.
Neither of them was exactly what you might call domesticated, so the house while comfortable was also chaotic and untidy with peeling exterior paint and heaps of sporting equipment on the grass but for all that it was their home and there was plenty of space for the ever expanding Keogh family to spread out in and Sam had once acknowledged that it was only all the space that had kept her out of the criminal courts for murdering her spouse.
It had been a good long time before she'd seen the house as home Sam reflected. She hadn't wanted to leave their cosy little houseboat neither had Dylan but there'd come a point when they'd had no choice but to acknowledge they'd outgrown the boat. All their friends and colleagues and thought they were barking not to move as soon as Sam had announced her first pregnancy – something she'd refused to do until it was so obvious they'd all guessed anyway.
Harry had been completely unplanned and his impending arrival had stunned his parents, neither of them had considered for one moment that their fairly spontaneous reunion would have any lasting consequences. Indeed Sam was barely sick and had failed to notice she was pregnant until she was 14 weeks in but their son had been born virtually 38 weeks to the day after they'd patched up their marriage. They'd both been surprised by how pleased they were with him.
Children hadn't been something they'd discussed or thought about and suddenly they were responsible for a tiny person. Luckily he'd been as unlike them as possible he resembled Dylan in looks but not in personality as he was a big, calm, amenable baby who cried rarely and had generally fitted comfortably into their lives. He slept peacefully in his cot in the corner of their room and even Dervla worshipped him.
The four of them had been happy living in the admittedly rather cramped boat until just before Harry's first birthday when equally unexpected twin brothers Matt and Ben had joined him. Nick Jordan had said some exceptionally rude things about people on his staff who called themselves doctors when Sam had informed she'd need a second set of maternity leave while Lenny and Tom had presented Dylan with an informative little book which he had not thanked them for.
They'd planned to stay where they were but coping in such restricted quarters had been next to impossible; with just the one bedroom there just wasn't enough space for all the paraphernalia required by three babies. It had been clear they'd have to move and quickly. Once they'd found the house, they'd packed up and moved with a very bad grace
"Do you remember how much I cried the day we moved in?" Sam asked.
"How could I forget? It was one of the many occasions that I wished I'd bought shares in Kleenex but when I suggested we find somewhere smaller now the boys are all away, you told me where to go," Dylan reminded her.
"How many times do I have to tell you, you'll be carrying me out of my home in my box, Dylan Keogh." She told him firmly.
"I rather think it will be the boys carrying you out. I'll be the one leaving first," he pointed out "women always outlive men and I'm eight years older than you."
It was something he brought up now and again and Sam knew he was probably right. He was older than her and women's life expectancy was longer. She'd always known at the back of her mind that one day she would lose him but she still didn't like talking about it or even thinking about it. She wasn't at all sure how she'd face life without him even with their children and probably by then grandchildren to keep her going – Harry had bought the same girl home three times that had to mean something. She changed the subject quickly.
"Before you know it you'll be sixty then what will you do? Shall we have a party?" she asked knowing full well what his answer would be
"Are you mad woman? Why would I want a party?" he declared in disgust.
"To celebrate, people do you know." she answered knowing she'd wind him up.
"I don't do parties you know that." he said crossly "I'd much rather do what we've just done, have a nice meal together and a peaceful walk."
"Don't I just. Look where you not wanting a party got us when you were fifty!" she grinned at him knowing full well neither of them regretted the consequences of avoiding that particular party.
"Thirty years," Dylan mused "No one ever thought we'd stay married this long."
"Least of all us. God knows it didn't look like we'd manage it at first." Sam agreed sometimes she wondered how they'd done it after all she still longed to throttle him at least twice a day. "And I haven't killed you yet. I deserve a medal."
"You deserve a medal what about me?" he objected.
"You have me why would you need a medal?" Sam asked.
"As a reward for endurance: Thirty years of marriage to you, bringing up 4 sons and putting them through medical school and most of all living with Alice," he explained.
"Endurance, my foot you should be grateful I still put up with you." She teased. "I'm the one who had 4 babies in 4 years and Alice is your favourite don't deny it."
They turned in at the gate of the large rambling house, which seemed a little too big now that Harry was an F1 in London (sensibly he'd decided not to work anywhere near his parents insisting they would show him up.) and their three younger sons were creating havoc at a prestigious Medical School. Dylan frequently said he feared for any of the patients they came into contact with and the reputation of the establishment which was attempting to educate them. Now it was just them a large daft Old English Sheepdog and their precious only daughter Alice.
Parents were not supposed to have favourites but Dylan found it difficult to conceal just how much he treasured his daughter. She had been such a wonderful surprise. They'd decided they were done with children after their fourth son was born. Sam had decreed four babies was enough and he'd agreed with her. It was fortunate that Alice had her brothers wrapped around her little finger and they would never have dreamed of resenting her. All she had known in her life was the love and adoration of all the male members of her family. Zoe had once said that the only person who ever dared say no to Alice was Sam and if the truth were told she'd been right.
The secret of Dylan's adoration of the small girl was simple. She was her mother all over again. He'd always secretly wanted a daughter but when their fourth son had arrived he'd accepted it wasn't going to happen and he might as well be content with what they had but it hadn't stopped him secretly hankering after a daughter like his wife. All four boys were large, placid and amenable, how they were so easygoing when he and Sam were anything but was incomprehensible. Alice on the other hand was a small volatile dynamo of a child and a miniature version of her mother in looks.
It was his fiftieth birthday when he had typically refused any fuss or a party and gone away for an ostensible romantic long weekend with Sam to avoid any fuss or surprise parties his so called friends and colleagues might decide to arrange. They'd left a rather apprehensive Zoe and Nick in charge who had clearly been a little worried about supervising four teenage boys. Actually it was more of a weekend away anyway he didn't do hearts and flowers neither of them did really. They'd chosen to go walking in the Lakes a decision, which had horrified Zoe who had thought Paris or New York more suitable for a big birthday. She'd made Nick take her to Rome for her fiftieth. It had suited them though. A weekend by themselves away from four active teenage boys was blissful.
The walks were of necessity shorter than they used to be. Much as he hated to admit it he was older and less fit and Sam's hip had recovered well but it would always be slightly stiff. However they'd still managed several long walks and a couple of easy climbs. They'd made a concession to their advancing age and Sam's sybaritic preference for running hot water and flush lavatories and rented a cottage instead of camping as they'd done in former years.
After a weekend of pub suppers, long evenings and curling up in front of a log fire they'd come home with a belated and unanticipated birthday present in the form of Alice. Sam had taken it all quite calmly but Dylan had been horrified at first mostly because of the risk to Sam. He'd spent days looking up the likely complications for elderly multiparas until Sam had finally told him if he called her elderly one more time she was going to bloody well brain him with that damned obstetrics textbook. It would all be fine if he just stopped fussing and if he didn't shut up it was him who would not be fine. Of course it had been fine, she couldn't say it was as easy at 42 as it had been when she was 26 and she hadn't bounced back quite so fast but it wasn't so bad. They'd all survvied the experience more or less intact even if Dylan's nervs had been a bit frayed but potentially less frayed than those of the obstetrician who'd cared for her under Dylan's increasingly obsessive supervison.
Initially their sons had been appalled, Harry at 15 had found the whole thing completely mortifying Matt and Ben had spent months muttering about disgusting parents who were too old for all that and Tim refused to acknowledge the impending new baby at all. Once she was there though they had all worshipped their baby sister and more or less forgiven her the acute embarrassment her arrival had caused them and indeed still sometimes caused them. Harry had admitted that one colleague on seeing Alice's photo in his room had assumed she was his daughter and hadn't wanted to believe she was his sister until he'd dug out a photo of the seven of them and the dog together.
Alice had also wrecked several of her brothers' romances. Sam had been appalled when she'd overheard Alice explaining to her adored Uncle Nick "I did not like Tim's new girlfriend so she went..." She didn't like to think how Alice had organised the unfortunate Camilla's departure but had no doubts that she had. Dylan of course hadn't believed his Ally was capable of such a thing. It was strange that someone normally so cynical could have quite such a blind spot where one small girl was concerned. Sam was under no such illusions their daughter was intelligent, pretty, charming and could be incredibly sweet but she was also manipulative, wayward, disobedient and absolutely determined to get her own way. She needed much firmer handling than any of her brothers.
"Hard to believe we didn't intend to have any children isn't it," she said.
"You didn't complain at the time," he reminded her.
"No and I'm still not. I wouldn't change any of it. Well just one thing." Sam said quietly.
Her one lapse had occurred twenty-seven years ago and she still regretted it, still wished it had never happened. No one knew about except her and Dylan, not their children or their colleagues and friends. Long ago they'd made a pact to keep it solely between themselves. She'd tried to forget but she never quite could it was always there at the back of her mind. Sometimes she didn't think about it for weeks or months but it was always there in the background. If she could turn the clock back it was the one thing she'd change. She'd still do all the rest again; Dylan, her children and even the accident.
"Sam, how many times do I have to tell you not to think about it I don't" Dylan said firmly. "What does five minutes out of thirty years matter?"
"It will always matter to me," she said softly. It was a piece of the past she found incredibly hard to live with.
"It hasn't mattered to me for years, so don't spend the next thirty years worrying about it like you have the last." Then he rapidly changed the subject. "You know you don't look old enough to have been married 30 years,"
He glanced sideways at his wife who despite 5 children remained enviably slim and was still very blonde although she did now rely on a little discreet help from an excellent and very expensive hairdresser – that particular line of the credit card bill always distressed him but he'd accepted it was part of the price he paid for a happy wife.
"Flattery will get you everywhere. You on the other hand." She grinned at him mischievously. "Maybe I'll trade you in for a younger model."
"You're assuming that anyone else will have you," he said.
"Tom's always fancied me," she said smugly.
"He'd run a mile if he actually thought you were going to anything about it," her husband retorted.
She laughed "He would, wouldn't he. Anyway he's not my type I always had a thing for older men. Well one in particular anyway."
"Have you ever regretted marrying me?" he asked suddenly serious.
"All the time," she teased "Never. I was far too young to know what I was doing but I've never been sorry. Even when it looked like it was all over I still didn't regret that I'd married you only that I'd screwed it up, but I still won't let Alice get married when she's 21."
"Would your Mother have been able to stop you?" he replied.
"God no! Once I'd decided I wanted you that was it." She told him calmly,
"You always did know your own mind. What would you have done if I didn't want you?" Dylan said.
"But I knew you did, you just didn't know how to say so." She grinned at him, remembering exactly how she'd convinced the unconventional and awkward registrar to give her a chance.
"You couldn't have made me do anything I didn't want to." Dylan told her. "You know that. Miriam told me not to go near you with a ten foot barge pole. She said you'd be career suicide and I ignored her."
"She said what?" Sam looked at him incredulously "I thought she liked me."
"She did. But she thought it would destroy us both. Said everyone would say I was a cradle snatcher and you were sleeping your way to the top."
"I didn't have a clue," Sam said "why didn't you tell me?"
"Seemed safer, I wasn't entirely sure you wouldn't go and tell Miriam what you thought," he explained
"I would have done, meddling old cow." Sam retorted even after all these years she was still furious with her for her unnecessary interference. "So that was why you called it all off and I was forced to turn up in your on call room in that dress and persuade you to give me another chance."
"I missed you so much I was planning to do the unheard of and apologise," he admitted "but it would have been a shame to miss out on that dress."
"I'd have waited if I'd known that. Dylan Keogh admit he was wrong." She teased "Has that ever happened?"
"Once or twice – perhaps!" he admitted unwillingly. "But people did say exactly what Miriam said they would Sam you know they did."
"Only until they found something else to gossip about it was so much less exciting once we were married."
They went into the house, to relieve Zoe and Nick who had agreed to babysit for their goddaughter but after nearly four hours they were both probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Last time she'd looked after Alice an exhausted Zoe had pronounced that she was more trouble than all four boys put together. She had not responded well to Nick suggesting she found it harder work now because she was so much older. In fact Sam had a suspicion there had probably been a domestic in their car on the way home
They joined then in what other owners would have called the drawing room; it had large French doors out to the garden and a big open fire with a large grey tabby cat sleeping peacefully in front of it. The sofas had definitely seen better days. It was no wonder, the boisterous Keogh children and their pets had used them as vaulting horses, pirate ships, forts and whatever else had taken their fancy. One sofa was temporarily out of use because it was being monopolised by a large Old English sheepdog. Dervla had died peacefully of old age before Alice was born and was buried under the apple tree outside. Sam sprawled comfortably across Dylan on one of them and smiled at the babysitters.
"Was Alice good?" she asked more in hope than anticipation.
"Tolerably so," Nick said thoughtfully "she only conned me into seven bedtime stories."
Dylan breathed a sigh of relief, "At least now she's out for the count and I don't have to worry about her doing anything else perilous until the morning."
"I wouldn't bank on that." Sam said cheerfully.
"What do you mean?" he asked anxiously
"I don't want to worry you but there's a pair of bare feet in that tree outside the window." Sam pointed out.
Dylan followed her gaze and saw the small pair of pink feet clinging to the branches of the tree outside and the bottoms of a pair of pale blue pyjamas and groaned loudly
"What have I done to deserve this? Sam make your daughter go to bed. She doesn't listen to a word I say," he complained.
"You could try asking knowing she'll go rather than hoping." Sam shook her head laughing at him and went to retrieve the determined small blonde and thwart her attempts to escape "Alice, you are supposed to be in your bed".
"I'm not tired and I don't want to go to sleep." The small girl announced petulantly.
"I didn't ask whether you wanted too." Sam said wearily.
"It's not fair – the boys are in the boat." Alice protested.
"The boys are grownups. You are not," Sam told her firmly.
"I am big enough to go in the boat. Harry, Ben, Matt and Tim said if I could get out without Auntie Zoe catching me I could go." Alice explained.
"Well you didn't so you can't." Sam said inflexibly.
"I did," Alice objected. "Auntie Zoe didn't catch me – you did!" She beamed hopefully at her parents.
"You are still going back to bed." Sam insisted, trying not to laugh. Sometimes it was very difficult to be the responsible parent when it would have been so easy to give in and take her small daughter on an evening boat trip but if she wasn't firm about bedtime she could be sure that no one else would be.
"Why?" Alice was overly fond of asking why. Dylan was convinced it was a sign of intelligence and an enquiring mind. Sam thought it was a deliberate ploy to infuriate her family.
"You are only nine and girls who are nine can't play in boats past their bedtime." Sam said helplessly wishing Dylan would back her up instead of looking at her as if she was the mean Mummy."
"Why not?" Alice asked again.
"It's a school day tomorrow you won't learn anything if you're too sleepy." Sam said with resignation.
"I don't like school anyway," Alice said as if this clinched the argument and in her opinion it probably did. "And I'm not sleepy. Daddy tell her I'm not sleepy."
"If you're mother says it is bedtime then it is," Dylan declared promptly abdicating all responsibility for both the decision and implementing it.
Sam took a reluctant Alice back inside to return her to the hated bed. "Some babysitters you are," she said accusingly to Nick and Zoe "letting her escape and not even noticing."
"You've got exactly the daughter you deserve?" Nick grinned broadly "Alice is just you all over again."
"You didn't know me when I was nine." Sam retorted.
"No but I bet you were impossible, you were one of the most unconventional F2's I've ever had to cope with" he informed her.
"Hmph, Alice no excuses and no more stories you are going back to bed and you will stay there," she herded the unwilling little girl up the stairs in front of her.
"I must have done something really wicked in a past life. I spent the first part of my life trying to stop Sam doing reckless things and now I have a daughter who's even worse." Dylan sighed theatrically.
"Come off it we all know Alice is the apple of your eye." Zoe said "You've all spoilt her rotten from the moment she was born."
"If you think she's trouble now," Nick said smugly to Dylan "What do you think she'll be like when she discovers boys!"
"She's not going to," Dylan pronounced firmly "I know just what teenage boys are like. I'm locking her up until she's 30 at least."
"Dylan I had 4 children by the time I was thirty." Sam told him returning in time to hear him.
"Exactly," he announced "The boys have agreed to help me vet everyone who's allowed near her. Harry says if he shoots the first one the others will learn by example."
They all laughed. "You should count yourself lucky Sam doesn't have any brothers Dylan or they'd have shot you years ago." Nick said with amusement. "It was quite remiss of her father not to do so."
"If he hadn't been dead, he probably would have done." Dylan agreed. "I deserved it."
"It's weird," Zoe said thoughtfully when you both started at Holby none of us could imagine you were married and now no one can imagine you not being."
"Zoe," Nick remonstrated
"Well we couldn't. I mean it was obvious there was something but I thought Sam was Dylan's daughter and Ruth thought you were her big brother. Lenny merely thought you'd had a raging affair."
Sam collapsed on the sofa in a fit of helpless giggles. "Why did no one ever tell me this?"
"We were talking about you not to you." Zoe informed her "Of course the truth was even more shocking than the speculation. When would you have told us if you hadn't been found out? Would you ever?"
"You have had too much red wine," Nick said firmly "and I'm taking you home before you say something you'll really regret."
"Spoilsport," Zoe grumbled but she did put her shoes on and allow Nick to help her on with her coat. "I'll tell you all about it later." She assured Sam "When misery guts here isn't around."
Nick assured her hastily to the door and bundled her into the car. Once they'd gone Sam turned to her husband her eyes still sparkling with amusement. "Did Zoe really tell you she thought I was your daughter?"
"She did." Dylan said non-committally.
"It's quite funny really, we were so desperate for no one to know we'd ever been together and they all knew anyway. We've been lucky haven't we?" she said changing the subject "Not everyone gets a second chance the way we did."
"Very lucky," he agreed brushing a kiss on her forehead. "I know I'm rubbish about saying it Sam but you do know you're the only one for me. I've loved you all this time and I'll still love you in another thirty years."
Sam could feel a huge lump forming in her throat and tears prickled behind her eyelids. Dylan expressed his feelings so rarely it meant the world when he actually managed to say the words. She could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he'd told her he loved her this year. He showed her he loved her all the time in countless little ways but hardly ever told her. Not that she was much better with words.
"I love you too and I'm going to hold you to it. You do realise you'll have to make it to almost ninety for that, so you'll have to look after yourself." She stood up and tugged on his hand. "Come on Grumpy let's go to bed. I'm tired and could do with a cuddle."
She towed him up the stairs deciding the clearing up could wait for tomorrow. Getting this far was one heck of an achievement and a milestone most people had thought they'd never make. This evening was for them and she was going to make the most of it.
I hope you enjoyed it. As always if you did please say so and bolster my ego. I am not well and need all the help I can get.