OFFICIALLY BETA'D

A/N I'm also really into Twilight fanfiction, Wide Awake was what actually got me into fanfiction to begin with, so if you're into Twilight fic, Wide Awake by Angstgoddes003 is AMAZING. I'm actually borrowing her term, "hormonal teenage motherfucker".

Check out my new banner made by my beta on my profile page. I love it so much. And of course, please review if you like what you read :P

Disclaimer: I own a pretty pink laptop case, but not iCarly.

Chapter 10

FPOV

Say what now?

Did she just say what I think I heard? I think she did.

She was going to kill me. First she brings up the kiss at the diner, and talks about it like she wanted to do it again. I was ready to kiss her, when her mother walked through the door. I kept my head down so that she wouldn't see me and watched Lou threaten her within an inch of her life. After she left, I got up to talk to Lou.

"How often does that happen?" I asked him.

"Often enough." He replied gruffly.

I rubbed my face.

"So what's your deal, kid?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I retorted.

"Every time you're here, you're drooling over the brunette and flirting with the blonde. How does that work, exactly?" He said teasingly.

I was shocked. "Flirt with Sam?"

He let out a big laugh. "Yeah, kid. I been around the block enough times to know flirting when I see it. You two got it bad for each other." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in existence.

"Huh." I said, frowning.

"Did I just tell you something you hadn't figured out yet?" He said, still chuckling.

"I think you might have." I said, sitting back down in the booth and re-evaluating Sam and I.

"Well, let me fill you in on somethin' else, kid. That girl-" and he pointed to the bathroom where Sam was hiding. "is one of a kind. She's something special."
I smiled and nodded in agreement.

"And also-" he cracked his knuckles, "if you break her heart, I will break your fucking neck."

I swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Enjoy your lunch." He added lightly and patted me much too hard on the back, just as Sam emerged from the bathroom.

I was crushed when she said the kiss was in the past and not worth talking about. I desperately wanted to go back to before I realized I had it bad for her, but it was too late now. I only saw her as the girl I wanted to hold. The girl I wanted to kiss, the girl I wanted to… right.

She was taking forever to get changed and I grew anxious to see her. For fuck's sake, it was an hour and I was already aching to see her again? What the hell is wrong with me? My paranoia got the best of me and I wondered if she was hurt or something so I went to check her. As I walked out the door, I nearly ran into her, and when I took a step back to let her in, I took in her appearance. And, DAMN. She must have put on makeup because her black eye was hardly noticeable. She'd done her hair so that it fell in loose waves down her back, but what she was wearing… phew… what she was wearing nearly knocked me out. She was wearing tight jeans that showed off her sweet little curves and a low cut yellow top that displayed the most delicious cleavage that I'd ever seen. She walked in quickly and I adjusted my hard on, praying that she wouldn't notice. Where was this "oddly respectful" guy she praised me as last night?

I helped her cook, and had to constantly push down the urge to stand behind her, brush her hair off her neck and kiss the soft skin there, to put my hands on her hips and push myself into her. I cut up the ham and cheese slices while I pictured my hands sliding up her waist and cupping those perfect breasts in my hands.

Seriously, when did this teenage hormonal motherfucker begin to take over my mind?

My mom came out and we all chatted about nothing in particular, how crappy the movie was, lunch at the diner (with Jolene left out of the narrative), but then Mom had to mention me going to dad's this weekend. I think she mentioned it so I could invite Sam to meet him. He'd never met her or Carly, and my mom was always pushing me to get him more involved with my life. I had less than no desire to do so.

Sam filled a cup of coffee and my mom gave her a degrading remark about it, but not her usual spiel about it. I smirked, ready to tease her.

"Don't you want to tell her it will stunt her growth, or educate her on all the negative effects of caffeine, ma?"

"It's not my job to tell her that. I save those lectures for you, Freddie Darling." I winced at the horrific pet name and rolled my eyes.

My mom and I bantered back and forth about the negative effects of caffeine and genetics, when all of a sudden my mom asked Sam if she thought I was handsome. I was incredibly interested in the answer

She choked on her drink and muttered, "I guess, I... yeah…" and she nodded, turning beat red. I beamed. Normal Sam would have insulted me. Even normal Sam who was being polite for my mother's sake would have given a sarcastic answer. But she couldn't hide it anymore than I could.

She looked up at me and I just smiled wider, my ego bursting through the roof at the idea that Sam thought I was cute.

I watched her move nervously through the kitchen. She really was pretty. More than pretty, she was beautiful. She was sexy. I went back to the image of standing behind her, kissing her neck and hearing that moan again, or maybe even hearing my name cross her lips as she pushed her ass back into me.

I shook the perverted thoughts from my head and decided that TV was a bad idea. I needed something more engaging than that. TV would allow my head to wonder too much. Board games seemed safe, and they were, until she leaned forward on the coffee table and allowed me to see more of her tits. They really were perfect. Creamy white and perky, I blatantly stared. I knew I shouldn't have, but I think I earned the right after I caught Sam staring at my ass. I knew I could have called her out on it, but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Plus, it was damn flattering.

So, I stared at her chest and she pretended not to notice. But when she shifted so that I could see more, I really felt like she just gave me the okay that it was fine to look. I licked my lips imagining what she tasted like, picturing her nipples, what they would feel like beneath my hands, and in my mouth. She looked like she was about to say something, but the kitchen timer went off before she could. She got up to get dinner out of the oven, and I wanted to go help her, but my raging erection was not going to allow me to stand up without being exposed. I rubbed my face trying to erase the image of her cleavage from my mind so that I could act normally around her, but it was too late. I wanted her. I wasn't going to be able to ever look at her the same again. I was trying to get her breasts out of my head, at least temporarily, when she came out of the kitchen.

"I think we should sleep together."

I choked. I choked on nothing. Whether I forgot to breath or simply choked on my own saliva, I still choked. Sam smirked a little, I think loving the fact that she caught me so off guard.

"Uhhhh… well… ummm… what?" I stammered.

She huffed. "Look, it's obvious that you think I'm attractive. I mean, I realize I'm no Carly, but there's just some sort of THING here that's making it weird, and I'm thinking that it's just sexual tension. I tend to put it off naturally, and you obviously have some sort of damsel in distress syndrome when it comes to me, so I think we should just fuck and get it over with."

Unbidden images of her naked beneath me flooded my brain. I imagined her whimpering my name while she held onto me; I imagined her grasping her own breasts while she rode me from above, her head thrown back in ecstasy.

"Well?" She asked, her eyebrows raised. She looked so vulnerable in this moment. I narrowed my eyes at her. Why was she asking me this? Did she feel I just wanted to fuck her? Didn't she know that she was one of my best friends and that it would be so much more than fucking? Was she so insecure that she felt she deserved nothing more than a cheap fuck?

"You think I just want to fuck you?" I asked.

She looked taken aback. "Well… yeah. Don't you?" She asked, looking near tears.

"No. I mean yes. But not…" I said, trying to explain that I didn't just simply want to fuck her. I wanted so much more than that.

She closed her eyes and looked utterly rejected. "It's fine. I'm so sorry I brought it up."

She went to bolt for the front door, when I caught her by the arm.

"Sam, wait." I pulled her arm so she was right in front of me and crushed my lips to hers. My hands were dying to cup her ass, but the gentlemen in me, or it could have been the scared little boy in me, wrapped my arms around her waist. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she responded to my kiss. It was like the first kiss all over again. Passionate, deep, but this time there was no hidden agenda. She wanted to kiss me. There was no Tim here to disprove a gay rumor. She opened her mouth and I pushed my tongue into it where it found hers. She moaned and it took everything in my power not to throw her on the couch and fuck her right then.

Her hands combed through my hair and tugged gently, making me moan. My hands trailed down and finally cupped her ass. I gave her a good squeeze, and it was firm and perfect, and it made her whimper a bit into my mouth. I knew I needed to stop or else I would be ripping off her clothes, and from the way she was pressed to my body, I don't think she would have objected.

My hands reluctantly moved off of her ass and I placed them on her hips, trying to gently pry my body off of hers. My lips were much more reluctant to stop kissing her. I lessened the intensity of the kiss and trailed them off to simple pecks on her lips. Her arms loosened around my neck and I kissed her forehead. We stood there, foreheads touching, with my hands on her hips and her arms around my neck as we panted, allowing our breathing to return to normal.

"Ummm… that was…" she stammered.

"Perfect." I murmured dreamily.

I smiled lazily and watch her tongue the inside of her lip and then wince in pain.

"Oh jeez, Sam, I'm so sorry!" I didn't even think about her busted lip until just now. That rough kissing had to have hurt.

She smiled. "It was totally worth it."

She released her arms from around my neck and began pulling me toward my bedroom.

"Sam, wait." I said. She stopped in her track and huffed.

"Really Benson?" She said sarcastically.

I laughed a little at her impatience. "Sam, can we just talk for a second?"

She huffed again and plopped on the couch, her breasts bouncing a little bit as she sat. In fact, I found myself being able to pretty much track what her breasts were doing at all times. This was so weird.

"Ok, Freddie, so it's clear that I'm the man of this relation… this thing we got going on here. Which makes you the chick. So, whatever sissy feelings crap that you want to talk about, let's get it over with." She stated gruffly.

I smirked. "Geez Sam, you make it seem like I'm going to torture you. I just want to know a couple things."

When a moment ago the atmosphere was thick with lust and desire, now it was awkward and tense. We both needed some clarification, or at least I did, anyway.

It was clear that Sam wasn't going to start sorting this out, so I took a breath and started.

"Okay, so I gotta ask. Do you even like me?" I cringed when I thought about how much it sounded like those notes you pass in second grade; do you like me? Check yes or no.

She refused to look at me. "What's there to like?" She muttered.

I sighed and rubbed my face. We were never going to get anywhere if she kept shutting down like this.

She started again, "Sorry, defense mechanism. This is really hard for me."

I nodded as she chewed on her lip, and then winced in pain. She twirled a curl in her finger nervously. I realized that I may have been the first to speak, but I was still putting all the pressure on her to go first. I could be the one to put my emotions on the line. And she just looked so damn cute and vulnerable.

"Sam, I think you're beautiful. I think you're smart, fun, and you're the only girl who can keep up with my wit. I like you. I like you a lot."

There. It was out there. It was freeing and terrifying at the same time.

I don't know what I expected to see when I looked at her, but I didn't expect the look of pure joy on her face. I don't think I'd ever seen her look this happy before.

"Yeah, you're all right, Freddie." She said smiling.

Okay, so it was no emotional speech, but from Sam, that was as close to a heart wrenching confession as I was probably going to get.

"So, now what?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you like me, and I like you… so now what?" She was fidgeting again, looking cute and vulnerable again.

I smirked, amazed that I even had the ability to make Sam nervous like this.

"I don't know. I guess we're, like, a couple?" I said, trying it out in my head, and really happy at how right it seemed.

She nodded, "Okay, so I'm like, your girlfriend?" She asked, unsure.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" I tilted my head, trying to get her to make eye contact with me. She wouldn't, her eyes were still all over the room and she was still twirling her hair.

"I guess so. I mean, you do desperately need a girlfrie-, I'm sorry, I'm doing it again. Damn it! This is hard!" She shouted.

I laughed. "Sam, I don't want you to change." I shrugged. "You insult me, I insult you… it's been this way for years… it's our…" I trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence.

"Foreplay." Sam whispered.

I cleared my throat, uncomfortable that the topic of sex was brought up again. Where I was completely comfortable talking about my feelings, talking about sex was not on my comfort level.

She giggled, "Now I see what makes you uncomfortable."

"Ha ha. Hilarious. Can we stay on topic please?" I stated, a little annoyed.

She smirked and gave me a mock salute. "Yes, sir!" she responded sarcastically.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You like me. I like you. We're together. As boyfriend and girlfriend." I listed, counting off the facts with my fingers.

"Oh, I'm sorry, should I be taking notes?" She looked around sarcastically for a pen and paper.

"Smartass." I smiled at her.

"You like it."

"I really do."

She smiled at me.

"Well, it's official. We have officially landed in an alternative universe where you and I, not only get along… sort of… but now make out. Awesome." She laughed.

"I agree. Do you know how many people are gonna freak out?" I asked, laughing.

She stopped laughing immediately. "What do you mean?"

"I just mean that no one is going to believe the two of us together! I mean, a week ago, would YOU have thought this possible?"

Her face blushed a deep red, and she muttered a horribly unbelievable "No."

My jaw dropped. Sam had envisioned us together before. Was I misinterpreting this? Did Sam have a crush on me and I was just unaware, or so stupid that I didn't see her abuse as flirting? Was Lou right this whole time?

Huh.

"What?" She asked.

Not wanting to further embarrass her, I let the conversation drop, for now. I just shook my head and smiled at her.

"So… can I make out with my boyfriend now?" She asked seductively, looking up at me from underneath her eyelashes.

I wanted to. God did I want to. But I felt like I needed to talk to her about boundaries. I wanted to take things slow.

And before you start praising me for my good morals, let me tell you the real reason I wanted to take it slow.

I have no idea what I'm doing, and Sam has been with enough guys that she has some reasonable expectations that I will in no way be able to meet. I need to go slow so that I can at least build up my arsenal of knowledge. It's like… I don't want to just go straight to the World Series. I want to play the games all season so that when the World Series is upon me, I have some basic knowledge and skill to draw from. Catch my drift?

"Sam, I feel like I need to talk to you about that."

"About making out?" She asked, confused.

"Sort of." I was so uncomfortable talking about this. I was so embarrassed that I had no experience, that I had no idea what I was doing.

She sat on the couch, waiting very patiently for me to continue.

"So, you know I've never…" I was waving my hands wildly; "done it…"
She pursed her lips to hold back a laugh, which was NOT helping me.

"Not helping Sam." I admonished.

She smiled, "Freddie, I know you've never "DONE IT"" She put the done it in big air quotes for me. Great.

"But you know that's not a BAD thing, right? I mean, I feel just as insecure about the fact that I have "done it". It's the whole double standard in society thing." She said, rolling her eyes.

"You know I don't care, right?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I know, but then you should know that I don't care about your history either, or lack thereof." She smiled and stuck out her tongue.

"I just feel like, we should take it slow…" I said, looking to her for a reaction.

"Slow… well that will be new for me. But I understand. I think it would be really nice to take it slow for once. But so you know, you're going to have to be the one to set limits. I get a little… carried away…" She smirked at me.

I inhaled quickly, trying to wash the images of her being aggressive with me out of my head. I didn't really want to get them out. But she hopped up off the couch (her breasts bounced up with her, FYI) and she kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm going to go sleep at Carly's tonight. Don't be creepy and sneak in on me like last night." She pointed her finger at me.

"Okay, okay, geez, excuse me for wanting to give you a pain pill!" I exclaimed.

I walked her to the door and she leaned against it (pushing her delicious cleavage out) and she looked up at me again from under her lashes. It was a delectable combination that made it impossible not to kiss her.

I let my hand carefully trace her cheek and touch her lips, and allowed the anticipation to build. I leaned in to kiss her and touched her lips to mine sweetly, and softly. She was careful not to let the lust take over. But it was there. It was right on the edge and had I kissed her for another four seconds, her leg would have been hitched over my hip. But as far as ranking kisses go, (ya know, all three of them) this was my favorite one. Because it meant something. This wasn't pity, nor was it a kiss to validation my feelings for Sam. I was kissing her because… she was mine to kiss.