I'm sleep-deprived and I felt like writing. Might be wonky writing, might be wonky grammar, might be wonky story, I don't care. I'm sleepy and writy and it doesn't add up and just read the goddamn chapter, will ye?
An eternal void in which senses serve no purpose, for it is, quite simply, none; an existence completely disregarding the rules of our world, as if it were taunting our tries at determining laws of physics. The utmost disregard for whatever we might have thought we knew about the universe, laughing in our faces for even trying something so pitiful as trying to give some kind of meaning to our completely meaningless existence within the void. Forever lonesome, stuck within the eternal darkness of our own minds.
Where am I, exactly...? My last memory that I'm able to actually decipher from the blur of what I presume to be whatever caused me ending up where I am now is exiting the classroom. It just blurs out there, and suddenly I'm stuck in this eternal non-existence filled with a darkness darker than darkness should be able to. Stuck beneath the surface, unable to reach up.
This is the second time I've experienced this void, and the last time it happened I woke up after a six-day long coma, having had a heart attack and practically annihilated several arteries. To think what might have happened this time... but I can't let that kind of thing get to me; if I did end up getting destroyed a second time I'd just have to return from the ashes once again, even brighter this time. I push forward and swim towards whatever feels like up, towards the surface of this nightmarish darkness that sealed me away once before. Upwards, towards the skies, towards the sun and moon, towards the stars...
…
…
A rattle of death leaves my throat as I open my eyes, immediately to close them again as the light was by far too bright for my eyes. The red of my eyelids contrasts quite a bit to the dreamworld which is already starting to fade from my mind, and I'm comfortable in knowing that I was able to get out of there.
"Hisao," a voice tells me, and I feel a hand on top of my own. I open my eyes just a bit, to try to get a view of who's beside me, since it seems that I am unable to actually link a voice to a person currently, but it's still too bright, so I choose to just let myself get used to the real world before opening my eyes.
Finally having gotten used to this dimension, I slowly open my eyes to reveal that the one sitting next to what I believe to be a bed I'm lying in is Suzuki Suzu. She's sitting close. Awfully close, I'd have to say. But that and the fact that she's holding onto my hand doesn't really matter; what does is the worried expression on her face, one you'd expect to see from someone unable to do anything as they're seeing a kitten drown... Where I got that metaphor from, I haven't the faintest idea, nor do I wish to know.
"What... happened?" I slowly ask, trying to get my own vocal cords to obey me instead of doing some strange kind of gurgle-esque sound, and I almost succeed, although my voice does sound rather awful. My eyes are as focused on Suzu's as they can be in my current, barely awake state.
"A girl ran into you and you fainted," she explains, leaving out a majority of details, but enough for me to understand the situation; I do not seem to have had any major heart failures, so I should be good. "We're currently in the school infirmary."
I return my eyes to a closed state, moving my face to a position pointed at the roof, and take a few deep breaths to awaken myself. It seems to work, somewhat, and I open my eyes again as I turn to Suzu, this time with a minor smile covering my lips, as I turn the hand she's holding onto over and gripping hers. My mouth moves in the manner of saying "Thanks," but I don't put any force into my throat, so no actual sound comes out.
"Ah, Nakai, you're awake," a voice says as they pass through the newly opened door to the infirmary, and looking over I see not only that I'm the only one situated as a patient in the room, but also that the one who entered is none other than Yamaku's head nurse. "No need to worry, you just had a collision and lost consciousness."
"How long was I out?" I ask, not coming up with anything else that I feel would be good to know at the moment, as my condition seems to be stable. Although my body feels a bit stale, I don't experience any pain or anything of the kind, so I should be pretty much fine.
"We were reported of the incident about an hour ago," he answers, a serious face that does not suit him covering his face. An hour... That should mean that it's about time for lunch to end and for the next period to start. "I'll give you the rest of the day off to rest."
"Thank you, but no, thanks. I'd like to return to class, actually," I respond, turning and giving Suzu a look as I do so. Although her face still shows the same worried expression it did before, she does not object, so I give another smile to her and squeeze her hand a little, trying to mentally tell her not to worry.
"Before that we should have some lunch," someone says from the entrance to the room, and a quick glance reveals that it's none other than Miki, who's trying to balance a plate with three cans of drinks and several smaller plates with different dishes. "We did say we'd have lunch together, after all."
I'm left speechless at the grinning girl coming into the room, so I turn to Suzu, who turns out to be wearing a small smile herself, so I decide to just smile at Miki and take whatever turns out from these events as it happens. Now's time for lunch, after all.
"Thanks, Miki," I say as I drag myself up into a sitting position on the bed while the grinning girl takes a seat on the other side of the bed I'm lying on, making sure not to spill anything as she places the tray on the nightstand. In the corner of my eye I see the nurse leaving the room, a grin plastered on his face as he does so, almost as if he were trying to mentally say something along the lines of "Showoff." Not that I give a damn about that.
"Couldn't just leave you here without food. Especially not when you have my best friend stuck by your side," she tells me before exhaling quite loudly, trying to show off what energy it took her to get the tray here without spilling anything. Not that we'd noticed if she did, so it's very possible that her little play is no more than a mere charade. A slight pressure on my left hand reminds me that Suzu's still holding onto it, but I decide not to do anything about it; if it makes her feel better somehow, there isn't much of a reason to stop it, is there? I can't say that it doesn't improve my mentality, either.
"Oh really? You completely sure you didn't just want to serve me since you admire me, oh, so much?" I tease her a bit, a smile on my lips, although I'm most certain that the attempt was a failed one and did in no way reach her as such. A glance over at the tray tells me that the three cans have most likely been picked completely at random, but I want to make sure that I don't end up taking something someone else wished for, as I don't really have any particular preference between the three possibilities. "Any certain drink you want, Suzu?"
"I'm fine with whatever," the girl with the turquoise hair answers me, so I grab one of the three cans with my right hand and hand it over to her before grabbing one for myself. 'Coconut milk soda'. Quite interesting, if I say so myself.
Grabbing a plate from the tray, we start our meal in the school infirmary of Yamaku High, 'for youngsters with special needs', and somehow I feel a sense of... nostalgia? No, that's not it, it's more like... warmth, really. A warmth I haven't experienced in several eternities that has finally returned to me, in the form of the compassion people share at Yamaku. While my sentimental bullshit makes me want to vomit, it is completely true; while I did despise the idea of transferring at first, now that I'm actually here it doesn't feel all that bad. A chance to restart isn't given to most people, even if the restart is one where you have several problems you lacked before it. Nobody's perfect, and that's how it should be.
…...
Entering the classroom of class 3-3, everyone in the classroom seem to focus their gaze on me; to be expected, having passed out outside the classroom a period and a lunch break ago. Ignoring their blatant stares I walk toward my seat on the leftmost row of desks in the classroom, just next to the windows. Nodding to the classmates I pass on my way there, a small, albeit faked, smile covers my lips, and I realize that I might actually be a bit more uncomfortable with attention than I thought I was. Self-realization day, eh?
"Hicchan? Are you okay?" Misha asks as I pull out my chair and sit down on it, and turning to her she seems quite worried about what my condition might be. I reach over and poke her in the arm as the faked smile on my lips grows a bit larger and a bit more real.
"If I wasn't okay I wouldn't be in class, would I?" Excluding the soreness and bruises from collapsing onto the floor and the tiredness of having strained my heart to such a degree, I actually feel quite good. Although that might just be the dopamine finally hitting my brain, but even so I feel quite good about it. Misha takes on a smile, although a small one, but still a smile.
"Guess so," she answers, before turning to the blue-haired student council president who's poking her side to get her attention, and they start signing a conversation that I can't understand the slightest of. The pink-haired girl soon turns back to me. "Shicchan wants to congratulate you on the patriotism you have shown by returning to class after such an incident." A look over at Shizune shows that she's looking at me with the sisterly smile she's shown me several times before. Thanks, Shizune. I nod to her with a smile still on my lips.
It's not all that long before the teacher of the next period appears, and the time until then is spent giving whatever people I gain eye contact with confirming nods that I will, in fact, not collapse on my desk, never to wake up again.
…...
"So how am I to help the student council today?" My question startles Misha, who does not seem to have noticed me walking up to her and her blue-haired partner. She looks up to me, as Shizune already has, and a quick conversation in sign language later she again turns to me.
"Are you sure you should be doing work? Shicchan thinks it would be better for you to rest..."
"I'm well aware of my own limits, Student Council President and partner, and I wish to help you, seeing as I happen to be indebted to you." That first part was, quite obviously (or at least so to myself) a lie, but it should be enough to get my point across. I'd feel bad just lounging around, doing nothing, so a little work for the festival would probably do me some good, or at least not do me bad. Misha sighs, and after a quick conversation with Shizune she takes out a piece of paper and starts writing something on it, looking up and signing a little with her partner every now and then.
"Here's a list of things we need for the last preparations before the festival. Would be great if you could go to the art room and collect it for us," she finally tells me, handing me the paper, a slightly worried expression still covering her face, but she doesn't actually say anything about it. A glance to the side reveals that the same appears to be true for her partner. "We'll go and get some plywood if you fix that, alright?"
I nod, and Misha explains the location of the art room to me, taking care to ask whether I'll be fine with getting the supplies. The smile on my lips seems to reassure them that I will, in fact, be fine without someone watching my every move, so finally the two allow me to leave and perform my duties as a helper of the student council. As I exit the classroom and look down the hallway, though, I encounter another person that I deem necessary to have a conversation with.
"Ah, Lilly," I say before clicking my tongue once and walking over to the blonde, tall girl that I, unless I made that memory up, bumped into right before passing out. She turns to me, and the same worried expression I've witnessed on far too many faces for my mental well-being since the incident.
"Hisao! Are you quite alright?" she asks, her voice carrying a tone mirroring the expression covering her face, which annoys me slightly, however much I don't want it to. Of course others will be worried about the guy who passed out in the hallway just four hours ago, but it makes me feel weak, as if it's my own fault others are worried about me. It's obvious that I shouldn't; it's not my fault I have a chronic heart condition, but knowing something logically and emotionally are completely different things.
"I'm completely fine, disregarding a bit of stiffness in my joints," I say, moving my hand up and touching her cheek with my thumb, which startles her a bit, making it difficult for me not to laugh a little. The hand and arm is then lowered back to my side. "If you're worrying, don't. As long as I have no further collisions like that one and my pulse doesn't go unreasonably high nothing will happen."
"So... there's no need to be worried, correct?" she asks, still looking a bit worried, but at least trying to hide it with a smile. Mentally thanking her doesn't feel isn't enough, although I do feel as if she might feel left out by my not continuing on the subject of my heart, but I don't feel as if I have the energy to explain it right now. I've got work to do, I guess.
"No need to be worried. I assure you that no harm will come onto me as long as I remain here, at Yamaku. Is that good enough for you?" Saying this, I again bring my thumb onto Lilly, who is not startled this time, but blushes instead, the smile on her lips seeming to gain some warmth at either my words or my touch.
"As long as you hold that promise, that is good enough for me. Now, what we were speaking of as our conversation was interrupted..."
"My compensation for lack of observance and resulting injury to you, m'lady?" Whether her mention of the subject is out of sympathy or compassion or whatever, might as well take whatever chances you get in life, no? "While I haven't been around here long enough to know much of any places, I wouldn't mind spending a day with you around town. Since projects for the festival are meant to be finished by Friday, that would leave you free Saturday, would it not?"
"My, yes, it would," Lilly responds, her cheeks going even redder as I brush my thumb slightly across it, a giggle leaving her.
"Well then, how about we meet up after class and head in to town for some lunch and other fun?" I ask, letting my hand leave the blonde girl's cheek and dropping it to my side instead.
"That would be lovely, Hisao," she responds, the smile still covering her lips. Although there's nothing special about the hallway lighting, it does seem as if she's reflecting some sort of holy light onto the world, giving warmth to Yamaku High.
"With that settled, I'll have to say that I'm busy at the moment. Not that I don't wish to put you before prior arrangements, but I do have to hold my honor to work that I myself asked for. We'll meet latest on Saturday then, Lilly." Before I'm even able to think it through myself, I've grabbed Lilly's left hand, the one not preoccupied with carrying her cane, and put it to my lips. Another giggle reaches my ears as I let go of her hand and after a second or two of thinking start walking past her towards the art room. "Ciao, Lilly."
"Goodbye, Hisao. See you," she responds, and it takes a few seconds before I realize what it is that she just said, which makes me laugh. Good one, Lilly. With that in mind, I continue towards the room in which I am to find the supplies for the upcoming school festival.
Although the art room's just down the very hallway I'm already in, I do take my time walking the few steps it takes to get there, since I don't believe myself to have a specified limit on how long I'm allowed to take. Approaching the door that says Art Room with long but incredibly slow steps is actually quite a nice way to spend time, but sooner rather than later the walk has to be finished, and I stand in front of the closed entrance to the room.
"Anybody home?" I ask, after having knocked and opened the door. A calm and serene atmosphere, as if the room had been deserted for years, yet kept from getting dusty or anything else of the kind. The room outside of the space/time-continuum, in which nothing ever has, and nothing ever will happen. In eternity, no one can hear you scream. Scanning the room, however, I notice one thing that clarifies that there have been people hear within the last few years; namely, a red-haired girl lacking arms. As her foot, holding a fork with some food on it, stops, her attention seems to go straight to me, her eyes almost drilling through my entire existence.
"Hello," she says.