I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day and through
(From: Billie Holiday - I'll Be Seeing You)
Chapter Nine: Acceptance
It was the middle of the night when their car pulled up to Alexandria's gates. Jesus walked inside sturdily, while Daryl trailed behind him, embarrassed by his earlier outbursts of emotion. Maggie gave him a sympathetic nudge and walked up to Jesus.
Jesus didn't waste any time waking Rick as he knocked on their front door and called out his name.
A minute later, Rick swung the door open, prepared for whatever would be on the other side. He relaxed visibly as he saw Jesus and Maggie and made way for them to enter.
When Daryl tried to step inside, Rick blocked his path. He gave him a deadly serious look that made Daryl gnaw at his bottom lip nervously. Rick kept his gaze firm in place, as if determining what to do, before he eventually sighed and patted him brotherly on the chest.
They walked inside together.
"So. What can I do for you?" Rick asked as the three men stood in the living room, while an exhausted Maggie had gone straight to bed.
Jesus glanced over at Daryl for a second, before focusing back on Rick.
"Are we really going to let him live?" he asked.
Daryl shuffled his feet nervously.
Rick also looked over at him shortly. He put his hands on his hips and looked down.
"That's the plan, yes" he said. "But we'll see how it goes."
"Why?" Daryl asked curtly.
"We need to make sure things will be civilized after we've defeated the Saviors. That starts with this…"
Daryl grunted.
Jesus shrugged.
They went over the plan one more time. Daryl paid attention but noticed they hadn't included him in their plans.
"Rick" he called after him as the other two men left to catch a few hours of sleep.
Rick turned around and waited for Daryl to continue.
"I'm not stayin' behind."
Rick walked back towards him.
"Yes, you are."
Though Daryl was physically taller than him, he had trouble standing up to Rick. He took a second as Rick stared him straight in the eyes, but he didn't back down.
"Naw. I'm tellin' ya, I'm coming with."
Rick pressed his lips together in frustration.
"Don't start right now, Daryl" he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose, the stress and pressure catching up with him.
Daryl felt himself growing more secure.
"You're gonna need me."
Rick's head shot back up.
"We don't" he spat out. "We don't, Daryl! We don't need someone who's running off on his own whenever he feels like it. We don't need someone who's making enemies out of our allies, releasing tigers…! We don't need someone who's neglecting himself to the point where he's h…."
Rick stopped himself from completing that sentence, but Daryl knew exactly what he had wanted to say.
"He drugged me. The goddamned sonofabitch drugged me, Rick!"
Rick blinked. Daryl stared back at him.
"He told me, today" Daryl elaborated. "Ran me off the road and told me. That's why…"
Rick nodded. It explained a lot.
"Did you see a doctor yet?"
"They couldn't tell me nothing" Daryl said, calmer than he had in days. "But I feel fine."
"You should take it easy for a while…" Rick tried.
Daryl grabbed his bow from its place against the couch.
"Yeah" he said determinedly. "After I've put that bastard in the ground."
Rick understood there was no keeping Daryl from joining them. Besides, it wouldn't be right. He also knew it was quite the liability to have someone who has been drugged out of his mind, hallucinating up until that very day, join them on a tactical mission.
"We've all agreed to take him prisoner, give him a trial afterwards" Rick repeated, hoping it would sink in. "You can't set out to kill him, Daryl."
Daryl snorted. "The state in which I catch him ain't my biggest priority."
Rick knew he was probably making a big mistake by letting Daryl join him, but the man had build up enough credit to give him the benefit of the doubt for now.
As Daryl lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, he tried to prepare himself for what was to come. He knew chances were he would see her again, but he shouldn't let it get to him this time. It shouldn't keep him from killing Negan.
Beth was still furious as she stomped through the field, trying to find her way back to the place she had seen Daryl. It was the middle of the night and she couldn't see a thing, let alone recognize which way they had driven back to Negan's house.
Between the darkness and trying to keep off the roads, she knew she had gotten lost. But it didn't matter, because she was still angry and walking through the cool night calmed her down a bit.
Images from earlier that day flashed through her mind.
Daryl. The state he had been in. How good he still looked to her. How he had almost killed Negan. How he had walked away from her.
She had been furious with Negan for locking her in the car, but Negan had a perfect answer to all of her accusations.
He had just wanted to keep her safe.
The guy looked like he was drugged out of his mind, kept calling her 'Beth'. How was Negan to know she knew him?
He had wanted to try and help the guy, or at least make sure he wouldn't hurt anybody, but instead almost got hurt himself.
She shouldn't go after him. Even if she actually had known him before, she didn't now. She had seen him; he wasn't the same guy anymore.
But she refused to believe it.
Negan had gone all authoritarian on her and she had kept quiet. He had driven past the compound again, but hadn't stopped there and Beth knew it was because he didn't trust her to stay in the car. Instead, he had gone straight to his house. They hadn't spoken a word that evening and Beth went to bed early.
She had waited for hours until finally, she heard him leave the house quietly, locking the front door. She knew he was going to visit his friend, and she was going to visit hers.
So she snuck out of her window, with her backpack and her few weapons, and readied herself for a long walk.
That had been over two hours ago and she still didn't know where she was.
She walked up a hill and looked around. Eventually, she noticed a road where a bunch of walkers roamed, and she figured a settlement should be close by.
With a nervous hope settling inside her, she started out in that direction. Daryl was around here somewhere. Maybe Maggie and the others too. But then she remembered the state Daryl had been in and the things Negan had told her. The ongoing war, the lack of humanity, people drugged out of their minds…
She remembered Merle and how everyone knew he had done every kind of drug there was, every chance he had gotten. Was Daryl like that too?
She was a fool to have thought that she knew him, just because they had spent a few days together. A college drinking game was hardly the way to get to know someone so private and with twice her years.
Dread settled in her stomach and she felt ill-prepared to deal with this reality. She didn't really know him anymore and she knew how to deal with people tripping balls even less. And clearly, Daryk didn't care to have her around anymore.
But at the same time, her heart ached for him. What he must have gone through to end up like this. She would find him and she would do whatever she could to help him. She wasn't just a scared little girl anymore; she could handle it.
But what if Maggie and Rick and the others where in similar states?
Alternating between worry and determination, Beth crept through the fields, careful not to attract the walkers' attention.
The road led to an iron gate, where walkers had gathered to try and push their way inside.
Beth crept a little closer, but there were about two dozen walkers and there was no way she could take them all out on her own. Noticing a tree not far from the gates, Beth climbed in it to see if there was a way to climb over the wall without being attacked by walkers.
Just as she crawled along a branch, inching closer to the wall, she heard voices. Real human voices, none of which she recognized and sounding as if they were visiting a medieval faire.
"… It is not a decision made lightly, I assure you. Nor is it one I had ever hoped to make. But the situation leaves me no choice. It's my burden as a king to call for these desperate measures…"
Beth listened more closely and tried to peek through the leaves.
A group of men, ten, maybe twelve, wearing some kind of armor. And a guy with grey dreads wearing a thick cloak.
"What should we do with Rick, your majesty?"
Beth nearly fell down the branch. It was a common name, surely they were talking about someone else. But still. She held her breath and stayed completely still, seeing the group glancing over in her direction after the rustling of the leaves.
"He's not a violent man" the guy they called 'majesty' said after a while. "He is calm and sensible and he may understand and support or cause. But I can't predict how he will react when we capture Daryl. If it's necessary, take him as well."
Beth's heart was racing. Rick was around here somewhere as well. The rest of her group too probably, but they were all in danger. Beth wanted to do nothing more than jump out of the tree to either fight or run, but she knew she had to wait.
"And what if the other leaders support our cause? Should we still capture them?" another soldier asked.
The leader spoke up again.
"Our priorities lie with Negan and Daryl. They form the biggest threat to our peace. But since we have never met with those other leaders, there's no telling what they're like. As much as I regret it, I think we would be wise to take them into custody first. I'll try and clear things out as soon as you return."
The men nodded. Beth had no idea what was going on. She figured it had to do with the wars going on, but these seemed like decent people, apart from their plan to capture everyone she cared about. They seemed to think of Daryl and Negan as the enemy. But Negan and Daryl hadn't seemed to even know each other, let alone work together to fight a group of seemingly decent people. And while she deduced from their words that Rick still cared about Daryl's well-being, they didn't seem to be on the same team anymore.
Once again, the image of a retreating Daryl flashed before her eyes. The haunted look in his eyes, the anger, the cuts and bruises covering his body.
"Go now" the king spoke again. "They'll be at the Sanctuary at three o'clock. I don't want to have any part in a massacre, you hear me? You'll hide until the Saviors have surrendered and the leaders are taking Negan. It will be quick and nonviolent. I expect to see every one of you returning here, tomorrow before the sun rises and the new dawn of peace has come upon us."
"Yes, your majesty" the men called out in hushed voices and made their way to their vehicles.
The grey dread head waited with one man who had stayed behind and waved as the men got into a truck and a car.
The vehicles drove off and the king and his servant walked back inside the walls through the back door.
"Fuck" Beth mumbled.
As soon as she was sure everyone had gone, she climbed down the tree. Three a.m. She glanced at the old watch Negan had given her. A little over two hours from now.
It seemed like the devil's work. Just as she had found signs of life from her friends and family, she found out they were about to be attacked by a bunch of larpers. She ran along the road their cars had taken off on, but they were already out of sight.
She kept running as fast as she could, all the while trying to make sense of what she had heard. Leaders of multiple groups were planning on taking Negan somewhere. Those men had seemed to think he was being held hostage by a group called the Saviors in a place called the Sanctuary, but last Beth had seen him, he had been free as a bird. Unless they were talking about another Negan. It was a name Beth hadn't heard before, but he had said that around here, it wasn't as uncommon, though it seemed something like that would have been known to her even before the start of the apocalypse.
So these larpers were seeing Negan and Daryl as a threat, Rick not so much and there were other leaders involved as well. Those leaders were about to fight a group called the Saviors, to free Negan, but then these larpers were going to capture them all. So far, it seemed that the larpers and the Saviors had similar interests, namely holding Negan hostage, but the larpers weren't going to stop the attack from the leaders and their people on the Saviors.
She had no idea what to make of it. She knew her only hope was to find either Rick, Daryl or Negan and tell them what she had heard. They could fill her in on the politics later. Her best chance was to find Negan, so she started to walk back through the field, hoping she was going in the direction she had come from.
And so Beth made her way back, running for as long as her tired body allowed her, her heart racing and her head throbbing.
She didn't pay any mind to the walkers stumbling towards her; she would outrun them every time. As she came closer to the area she had gotten to know a little better over the last few days, she heard sounds of gunfire. People screaming. Engines revving. Blasts of fire lit up the night sky as loud explosions sounded just maybe a mile away from her.
Fear clouded her mind and numbed her senses. On autopilot, she walked further in the direction of the fighting. She knew, she had known this would happen. All her friends and family were there. After surviving a bullet to the brain, after a year of rehabilitating without knowing where her friends and family were, after searching high and low for them, when she finally thought things were looking up again, she was about to lose them all.
Another explosion sounded. Images of a tank taking down the wall. Bullets flying through the air. Her father dying, Maggie nowhere to be seen. Screaming, shouting. A hand on her shoulder. Daryl.
The prison faded from her mind. Instead, she was looking at the building were Negan had visited his friend.
She walked a little closer. Just like that, the gunfire stopped, the shouting stopped. It was quiet. Beth came from behind the trees and slowly rounded the building to the front.
Bodies were shattered everywhere, a few walkers but mostly people, some of them still clutching their weapons. She crept along the wall of the building, and peeked around the corner to watch the compound's entrance. She recognized the gate where Negan had parked the car just a few nights ago. And just as sure, that same car was parked in the same spot now, but Negan was nowhere to be seen.
She ran over to the car, killing a walker on her way. She tried to open it, even though she knew it was locked. Daryl had once shown her how to pick a car lock, but that old rusty piece hadn't come close to the state of the art car she was now inspecting. And to be honest, she didn't even think she could do it if it had been a shitty car like that. It had been right after they had fled the prison together when they weren't really talking, and he had been trying to find them a car, if not for transportation than at least for supplies or some form of temporary protection. They had found one and as he prepared to pick its lock, he had started to talk to her all of a sudden. He had offered to teach her how to do it, and she had been so relieved by his relative kindness that she hadn't dared to tell him he wasn't making any sense as he tried to explain to her what he was doing while he worked the car door's lock.
She was shaken from her reverie by the sound of a car coming up to the front gate, a truck following closely. She recognized the vehicles as the ones she had watched from that tree as they drove away.
The larpers.
She immediately ducked behind the car and hoped they hadn't spotted her. Just as they opened the gate, a group of people came bursting out of the building. Beth heard a lot of swearing and shouting and even before she had come up to watch through the car windows, she recognized two of the voices. One angry, one just annoyed.
"… Goddamn asshole, shoulda fed him to his fucking tiger! Fuckin' piece of traitor shit!"
"Could someone please Shut. Him. Up…! I would gladly knock him out if it's too much trouble for you ladies."
Out of the building, four people came walking out with bags over their heads and shackles around their wrists and ankles. Ten of the soldiers she had seen earlier that night guided them towards the truck. Beth wanted to scream, wanted to make them stop, but as she looked around for guns, she couldn't find any that were close enough to grab them without being detected.
Fuck.
Then, she heard Rick's voice, directed at the kidnappers.
"You won't get away with this and Ezekiel knows it. Just let us go and take him."
The one she recognized as Negan huffed. They were close now, and the first captive – she didn't know who it was – was loaded onto the truck.
They were going to take them away to do god knows what with them. Her fear increased even more. If she did nothing, she would watch the very few people in this world that had been kind to her being taken away from her to probably never be seen again. She had to fight, but she was going to need a lot more than just the small handgun at her hip.
Suddenly, she remembered Negan always kept at least one gun in his car. If only she could open it. As Daryl was loaded onto the truck, she realized the car had a keyless entry system and Negan was standing close by. In a split second, she decided that the chance of finding some guns was worth the risk of being betrayed by the blinking lights when the doors unlocked.
She pressed the button on the inside of the door handle and she heard a faint clicking noise to alert her that the doors were now unlocked.
But just as she had expected, the flashing of the lights didn't go unnoticed by the soldiers and one of them started to walk over.
Negan dropped the key card and one of the soldiers picked it up.
"No tricks!" he told Negan and shoved him against the small ladder to the truck.
"He thought he could get to his car in time to escape" the man explained to the soldier that was now seconds away from discovering Beth.
He shrugged and walked back to the truck. Beth breathed in relief, but she knew she still had to get inside the car undetected and before the soldier that now held the key card went too far away and the doors would lock again.
She curled her fingers around the door handle and pulled it open as softly as she could. She glanced over the edge of the window to see Negan creating a chaos by refusing to get in the truck, fighting back for as long as he could until they slammed him down and dragged him inside.
It was enough for Beth open the door far enough to slip inside and close it again without being noticed. She stayed low while she searched the car frantically. Nothing in the glove compartment, nothing beneath the seats, nothing on the backseat. The only weapon she found was that stupid baseball bat that he had thrown in the trunk. Outside, she heard the truck being closed and she noticed most soldiers had gotten inside.
Just two of them waited outside with the fourth captive.
"Listen, Rick" one of them started. "We were told you were a reasonable guy, that you would understand that this is something we have to do to protect our peace."
"I don't" Rick interrupted him. "And you're gonna pay for this. Your only chance is to release Daryl and Gregory right now!"
The soldier sighed.
"Well, I guess Ezekiel was wrong" he said to himself and banged against the back of the truck. "Open up guys, this one's also coming with you."
As Rick was loaded onto the truck, Beth feverishly searched her mind for clues what to do. She came up empty while the car and truck already backed off to leave.
On an impulse, Beth pressed the 'start' button and the car came to live. She grabbed the wheel, put the car in reverse and pressed down on the gas.
The expensive sports car was a lot faster than the old military truck, so she caught up with it quickly. She kept tailing it, hoping that the soldiers wouldn't look out of the back and the loud noise of the truck's engine would drown out the buzzing of her electric car.
But with every corner they took, the tires seemed to make more sound until eventually, one soldier opened a part of the hood and spotted her.
She knew she was fucked when he raised his gun at her, but instead of stopping, a burning rage grabbed ahold of her and before she knew it, she had rolled down her window to shoot at him before he had even fired his first shot.
It worked. After two shots, he ducked down behind the steel tailgate and she was able to keep up with them for a little longer. But within seconds, more of the soldiers appeared and now they were firing at her. She fought hard to keep the car on the road, but after four more shots, she had run out of bullets and was now a living target.
With three soldiers free to fire shots at her, it didn't take long for one of the bullets to hit her tire and send her car spiraling out of her control.
Beth hit the brakes as fast as she could and braced herself when the car drifted of the road and into the field. With a last spin, the car finally came to a stop when the engine shut off as a result of the key card being out of reach.
Beth blinked a few times and rolled her shoulders that had gone painfully stiff. Her head seemed to be okay though to her huge relief. The seatbelt had dug into the skin of her shoulder, and her body was trembling with adrenalin, but she managed to get out of the car and take a look down the road.
The truck was long gone.
She put her hands on her head and paced left to right nervously, panic starting to rise in her chest as she tried to come up with a plan.
She wished Daryl or Negan or Rick were here to help her. If she had just one of them with her, they would actually stand a chance to free the others. But she was alone and they all depended on her.
There was no time to waste. First she had to find them and make sure they stayed alive. She could come up with a plan along the way. She looked over at the car and knew that her broken body would have to start walking again.
Ten minutes later, she was walking along the same route for the third time that night, armed with nothing but tons of frustration and a barbwire-covered baseball bat.
During the drive, everyone had been silent. But then they were loaded off the truck and the bags were taken off their heads. Ezekiel awaited them with a solemn look.
Daryl lunged forward, but one of the soldiers grabbed him and held him back.
"Everyone…" Ezekiel started loudly. "I must apologize for these crude and barbaric actions. But you must understand, we strive for peace, for us and for anyone else…"
Rick shifted his weight impatiently, his eyes shooting daggers at Ezekiel. Ezekiel continued.
"With the recent developments in mind, I have come to realize that as long as there are leaders who think violence is a solution, there will never be peace. This might sound paradoxical, but to assure all our people's freedom and peace, I have to imprison you all in order to make way for peaceful leaders."
Rick shook his head. "Oh you're such a dirty, filthy snake" he spat venomously.
Ezekiel directed his attention to him.
"Rick. I'm sorry to hear that. I had hoped you would understand."
Rick took a step forward.
"I came to you, I trusted you. I told you our plans, with your people's best interest in mind as well. Morgan, and Carol…"
Ezekiel interrupted him.
"I know" he said calmly. "They will never understand it if I kept you detained. You've always shown you want to keep an open dialogue and treat each other with respect. And frankly, it was never my intention to capture you as well, but I couldn't take the risk."
"I can assure you, the same goes for Daryl and Gregory. Release us and we can talk about this."
Ezekiel frowned.
"I will release you, Rick, and I would like to open up a discussion on how to proceed from here on" he said and nodded to one of his soldiers to undo his shackles. Ezekiel looked over to Gregory with suspicious eyes. "But I haven't had time yet to get acquainted with this gentleman, so for now I can't take the risk…" he said and turned back to Rick, who was now rubbing his wrists. "And I'm sorry to tell you, but Daryl won't be released. He has proven himself to be exactly the kind of violent, uncivilized man that will upset our peace time and time again."
Daryl cursed. Rick took a few large steps towards Ezekiel, his guards closing in on Rick immediately. Ezekiel gestured them to stand down.
"If you want peace, you'll release him right now, or I swear…" Rick muttered between gritted teeth. To his surprise, Daryl interrupted him.
"Rick…" he said and shook his head. Rick realized he had to keep his cool if he wanted to stay out of prison himself and have a chance of convincing Ezekiel to release the other two. He took a deep breath.
"Alright, let's talk."
"Not now" Ezekiel said. "We need to deal with them first. I was under the impression that there would be a fifth leader present?"
Negan chuckled. "You mean the autistic bitch? Yeah, she's dead."
Ezekiel sighed deeply and tried to control his anger at Negan's masochism. With just a nod of his head, he ordered his men to take the prisoners away.
"You're welcome…!" Negan called back, while Daryl kept on swearing and Gregory muttered about how 'outrageous' this was.
Rick stayed behind and pursed his lips to refrain from attacking Ezekiel again – either verbally or physically.
Ezekiel turned his attention back to Rick.
"I'm sorry it had to be like this…" he offered and it sounded sincerely, but Rick wouldn't be satisfied until Ezekiel had released Gregory and Daryl.
The three men were brought to the same building Shiva's cage was, and just as sure, beside the tiger's cage an extra cage had been built, that would serve as a cell for all three of them.
Daryl watched the tiger. She stood up as the muttering and swearing group entered the room. Daryl kept quiet after that, not wanting to upset her, but Gregory wasn't planning on anything like that.
"My god, a tiger? What is this place?" he wailed. "I demand to be released immediately!"
Both Daryl and Negan threw him an annoyed look. Much to Daryl's relief, Negan kept quiet as well.
Since neither Negan nor Gregory dared to sit anywhere near the bars that separated their cell from the tiger's, Daryl found himself some space sitting next to Shiva. He knew Rick was out there, doing everything he could to get him out. And this captivity was a lot better than the last one, so he figured he should preserve his energy for when he really needed it.
Daryl knew that the real threat in here wasn't the tiger, nor Ezekiel and his men. It still was that smug bastard that was sitting at the other end of the cell, and that would be the case for as long as he was still breathing.
No matter how nervously Negan acted, Daryl had learned long ago that that psychopath was always in control of the situation and that he would strike the second you didn't pay enough attention. Daryl didn't fear Negan's physical attacks, nor the things he said to fuck with his mind. What he feared was that Negan would be able to dose him again.
And while Gregory was demanding all the attention, Daryl kept watching Negan like a hawk as he shifted around, stood up and sat back down.
Gregory stood leaning against the bars, facing outwards, making his case in front of the two soldiers guarding them.
"… enjoy the utmost respect of my community, and therefor I fear a large uproar is at hand when they find out I have been taken prisoner" he said, hoping that by imitating their leader's speech, they would listen to him as well.
"I can see your leader is a man of great wisdom and responsibility, like myself. May I ask who he is?"
One guard answered, not seeing he was getting sucked in.
"He's our king Ezekiel. He's to be addressed as 'your majesty'."
Gregory nodded. "Thank you. I will."
It was silent for a while, and Daryl felt Shiva coming to lie down close to him. As much as he wanted, he couldn't look over to her though, as he wasn't planning on letting Negan out of his sight anytime soon. Negan still kept up his nervous act, looking at the door every time they heard a sound coming from outside.
But still, Gregory held the guards' attention.
"You see, I had hoped to be able to speak to his majesty as soon as possible. I feel like a huge mistake is being made. I agree with his pacifistic way one hundred percent. It is how our community has always been. You know Jesus, you know what he's like. We don't call him Jesus for nothing…" Gregory said and even laughed shortly. One of the guards showed a small smile.
"I feel our two communities are very much alike, only ours has been caught up in the war between those two's groups somehow. We have had to endure countless horrors just to survive. At first, we were attacked and threatened by him" he said and pointed to Negan. "And then, when we found a system to live with his group without going to war, along came Daryl and his group and we were forced to take up arms anyway…" Gregory told the guards and added a sad smile. "We didn't even have guns before they came along."
Daryl couldn't stand it any longer.
"Shut the hell up, you jus' didn't have the balls to do somethin'!"
Gregory didn't pay him any attention, just looked at the guard, raised his eyebrows and sighed. The guards looked at each other and nodded.
"I'll go see if he's ready for you now" one of them said.
Daryl huffed and looked at Shiva, who was once again shifting her body in agitation. He remembered what had happened last time and tried to calm himself down for both their sakes, but Negan's mocking voice demanded his attention.
"Uh uh Daryl" he said scoldingly as he leaned against the bars. "You're losing focus. You gotta keep your eyes on me, man. You know how I can get when I'm annoyed."
Daryl just frowned but didn't avert his eyes again. Negan smiled a sick smile.
"Or did you think that just because there's a guard watching us, I wouldn't do anything?" he asked and, without warning, he grabbed Gregory's shoulder, turned him and delivered a sharp, forceful punch to his throat.
Gregory's eyes widened, a gurgling sound came from his throat. The remaining guard jumped up and called out for backup. Gregory gasped for air and as he swallowed, a piece of cartilage that had previously been attached, now moved down his throat. His face twisted in agony and within a second, his body dropped to the floor. The second guard came running back in and together they dragged his body outside, still keeping Negan and Daryl locked in.
Daryl had jumped up as well and watched the scene feeling utterly helpless. His arms felt idle as they hung by his side, while he watched the guard perform CPR, trying to revive Gregory.
They went on with it for a few minutes that seemed like hours to Daryl, until they realized their prisoner wasn't going to survive. More guards started to come in and eventually, a few of them carried the body away, leaving Daryl with just the two startled guards and Negan.
Daryl knew Negan's goal hadn't been to shut Gregory up for good. He probably didn't feel very strongly about Gregory at all. But by killing one man, he made a whole lot more fear him and that made him feel powerful. But Daryl wouldn't let him succeed at terrorizing him anymore.
So he purposely didn't pay him any attention and went back to sit down at his corner near Shiva, as if nothing had happened. Daryl let Shiva smell his hand, petted her shoulders and calmed both of them down. Negan on the other hand was uncharacteristically skittish, even to the point where it made the tiger feel uncomfortable as well.
In small steps, as he was still trying to control himself, he paced along the bars, stuffed his hands in his pockets, took them back out, combed through his hair, stared at the door.
Eventually, Shiva started to roar and Daryl couldn't take it anymore.
"You expectin' someone?" he asked bitterly. Negan turned around, glad for the distraction.
"Boy, am I glad you of all people asked that!" Negan started but Daryl interrupted.
"Naw, I ain't interested in your stupid long-ass stories. Just shut up and don't be such a nervous lil' bitch."
It felt good to finally speak his mind. Negan still laughed his stupid slow laugh.
"Oh, Daryl, Daryl…" he snickered. "You do know that I have the power to make you cry whenever I want, right? And I'm gonna make you hurt so bad!"
Daryl just focused his attention back on Shiva, but Negan continued.
"Look, I've tried to not be a dick and remind you of all the whining and blubbering when we saw each other about twelve hours ago, but you can't start talking trash to me now. I know your weakness, Daryl, and frankly, it's kinda disappointing. A girl, really?"
Daryl tried not to listen to his words, but his heartbeat increased nonetheless. Negan smiled a satisfied smile. He sighed.
"Okay, I know you said you didn't want to know who I was expecting, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. You see – and you gotta understand this is kinda fun for me…" he said and could barely contain his smile. "It's your sweet little angel...!"
Daryl kept his eyes trained on Shiva, as she licked her front paws.
"Keep dreamin'" he mumbled.
"What was that?" Negan prodded and just as he expected, Daryl took the bait.
"I said 'keep dreamin' cause that stuff you gave me ain't workin' no more" Daryl said confidently.
Negan didn't seem to be impressed by his statement at all. Instead, he laughed out loud.
"Oh Daryl, you actually believed we've drugged you? When would we have done that? Where would we even get all those drugs?" he took a little more time to laugh and Daryl frowned.
"I mean, come on Daryl, it's the post-apocalyptic world...! Even if we could, why would we focus on finding hallucinogenic drugs of all things?"
His laughter had quieted down and now he just stared at Daryl, making him question everything that had happened over the last few days. He knew it was exactly what Negan wanted, so he stopped it.
"No, she's real" Negan continued. "And she's out there somewhere looking for at least one of us, if not for both."
Daryl felt the familiar ache of his hopes getting up, before being crushed once again, but there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Negan slid down the wall to drop down beside him, making him even more uncomfortable.
"Now do you see why I'm a little worried? I mean with all that's happened tonight, currently, even this peace-loving village isn't safe for a girl like her."
Daryl's frown increased of its own accord, he started plucking the skin around his nails.
"We have to get out of here, Daryl. We have to find her."
"Shut up" Daryl answered but wasn't done yet. "And don't think I don't know what you're doin', tryna get me to help you escape so you can go out and kill everyone."
Negan chuckled.
"That could very well be the case, yes. But would you risk poor Beth's life just because you don't believe me?"
Daryl kept quiet. Beside him, Shiva had gotten up again and was now stretching her legs.
"Let me answer this one for you. You'd never, ever forgive yourself if you let her die – again. The weight of your guilt would crush you."
Daryl refused to stand up and pace the room, refused to show Negan he was getting to him again. At times like these, he wished he was better with words, so he could effectively shut him the hell up. But no, Negan continued.
"I know you act like nothing sticks" Negan started and let his head fall back against the wall. "You act as if your childhood prevents you from feeling anything. You can't break down. You keep soldiering on, even when Rick can't. The end of the world has been kind to you, Daryl. You're better off now than you could've ever been in the old world. Here, you're a hero. Everyone looks up to you."
An itch crawled over his skin but he didn't allow himself to scratch it. Negan would notice and Daryl didn't want to give him the pleasure. Negan's shoulder bumped against his and he couldn't stop himself from moving even further against the bars that separated their cage from Shiva's.
"But I know you, Daryl" Negan continued, the careless tone in his voice replaced with a harsh one. "I know there are times when you falter. I know you're not just as messed up as the others. You're so much worse…" he said and grabbed Daryl's hand to press his thumb down on the little sore that hadn't really healed after he had burned himself with that cigarette. Daryl pulled his hand back from Negan's firm grasp, but felt too ashamed to engage in another fight.
"Yeah" Negan breathed, delighted by Daryl's insecurity, his shame, his weakness. "I pay attention to details like that. Give a beautiful inside into someone's mind… It's the same reason why I noticed that your little angel has a scar on the inside of her left wrist."
Daryl looked up. How could he know something like that? He searched his mind feverishly for an explanation other then…
Negan looked at him and he looked him straight in the eye.
Fuck.
He had him again. He had gotten inside his mind again and Daryl couldn't get him out.
"I know where she is" Negan said in a hushed, authoritarian voice and Daryl just nodded.
Then, Negan leaned in even closer. "Follow my lead, and don't screw this up."
Before Daryl could comprehend what he had meant, Negan had dragged him to his feet by his vest and started throwing punches.
On instinct, Daryl immediately fought back, all the anger that had built up inside him now coming out, aimed at the one person that had caused so much of it. Negan was taller, healthier and better rested, but Daryl's rage made up for all of that. Blows landed on each other's faces, their temples, their kidneys, backs, knees. They had every intent of killing each other until the two guards finally managed to break them up and hold them back.
Negan toppled over, clutching his stomach, and stared up in utter shock and horror. A pained expression appeared on his face and Daryl watched with confusion at what was happening. The guard that had restrained Negan, now studied him with concern.
"You okay?" he asked and Negan slowly shook his head. Just as the guard knelt down and placed a hand on Negan's shoulder to see what was going on, Negan grabbed his wrist, flipped him over his shoulder and slammed him down on the ground. Daryl understood what was going on and in a split second decided that though he was probably helping the devil himself escape so he could take his revenge on everyone Daryl cared about, he couldn't risk letting Beth down again in the off chance she was actually alive. So as soon as Negan attacked his guard, Daryl elbowed the guard behind him in the stomach. And while he spun around and delivered a blow to the guard's temple that rendered him unconscious, Negan slammed the other guards head against the concrete floor to accomplish the same thing.
Within a minute after breaking up the fight, both guards were knock out. Shiva roared as Negan and Daryl snuck out of the building. The darkness outside made it easy for them to cross the compound unseen. Daryl knew the secret gate that led outside, and was only ever used by Ezekiel. He led the way, but kept glancing over his shoulder to make sure Negan wasn't planning any surprises.
To Daryl, the real surprise came when ten minutes later, they managed to get to the other side of the Kingdom's walls and Negan didn't stab him in the back.
Well, not literally anyway.
"Alright, I'll see you around" Negan stated casually and walked away.
Daryl froze for a second. Had he really been that stupid? Had he really made this big a mistake?
He stalked towards Negan and grabbed his shoulder to halt him.
"Take me to her" he grunted.
Negan showed a quasi-sympathetic expression that didn't hide his amusement very well.
"I don't know how to say this…" he started.
Daryl shook his head wildly.
"Bullshit! Take me to her or I'll beat you senseless and feed you to the tiger!"
Negan sighed.
"I'm sorry I lied. Now get the hell out of here" he stated, annoyance clear in his voice. Before he had really finished his sentence though, Daryl's fist landed against his jaw.
"Now start movin'" he ordered.
Negan retaliated by throwing a punch himself, but Daryl blocked it easily. A second punch did land in his stomach however. Before they knew it, they were fighting again and this time there really wasn't any reason behind it other than pure, mutual hate.
Before long, the sounds of their fight attracted the attention of the guards keeping watch on the wall.
"Hey!" one of them shouted and Daryl and Negan looked at him. Knowing that their escape had been for nothing if they stayed here, they parked their fight for now and ran into the strip of forest, zigzagging through the trees until they embarked on a wide field and the guards were nowhere to be seen or heard.
"You know you're being an idiot, right?" Negan asked in a hushed voice as they made their way through the field. Daryl didn't answer. "Everything Rick and the rest have been planning for months… Everyone that has died last night. All for nothing because you helped me escape."
Daryl tried to keep a neutral face, but he knew Negan was right. Still, Daryl couldn't stop thinking about that scar on the inside of her wrist. How could he know something like that…?
"And now you're following me back into my territory, with nothing but your bare hands to defend yourself…"
Negan was enjoying himself, trying to get him riled up.
"Are you finally done with life, Daryl?"
Daryl's thought were miles away though.
"The hospital, were you there?" he asked as it was the only way he could've known about her scar.
Negan showed a wicked grin that upset Daryl more than it should. Nervously, he swept his hair out of his face.
"You weren't there when Dawn…" he started thinking out loud. "You're not a doctor. Were you a cop?"
Negan feigned hurt.
"You weren't there" Daryl decided, mostly for himself. With every question he asked, he showed more of himself that Negan would use to manipulate him.
"Maybe I was a patient" Negan said, just when Daryl had decided to give it a rest.
A sickening thought started to form in Daryl's mind and judging by the smile that spread on Negan's face, he knew exactly what Daryl was thinking.
"You see it now, don't you? She's alive, but she's also not. Part of her lives on through me…!" he said and started to chuckle as Daryl felt sweat breaking out and bile rising in his throat.
"I have to thank you for so graciously offering pretty little Beth's body to the hospital. Wouldn't have been alive if it wasn't for her and her heart of gold…"
Daryl felt the blood drain from his face.
"What?" he stammered. Negan chuckled again.
"Well, thankfully not real gold, but muscle. Otherwise it wouldn't have done me any good."
Daryl felt tears brimming in his eyes, a numbing pain coursing through every fiber in his body. Negan kept on walking without a care in the world.
"I figured, if I can survive a heart attack after the world has ended, I must be something special and I'm gonna make damn sure I take whatever life still has to offer."
Daryl started lagging behind. His head was swimming, his body grew weaker by the second. This couldn't be true. It was just another story to mess with his mind.
And then, just as Negan reached the top of the hill they had been climbing for a while, he finally stopped talking.
With four large steps, Daryl ran up the hill, crossing the distance between them to see what Negan was looking at.
"Lucy!"
"Beth…"
A smiling girl came walking towards them, dragging a baseball bat behind her. Negan jogged towards her. Confused and scared, Daryl only took a few steps in her direction. Negan stopped in front of her and grabbed her shoulders, blocking her vision of Daryl. He inspected her carefully when he noticed the cut in her shoulder.
"I'm fine!" she reassured him, trying to get him out of the way to check if her eyes hadn't deceived her.
"You've brought Daryl…" she said softly.
Negan released his hold on her.
"That's right, I have" he said and took the bat from Beth's hands.
He turned back to Daryl and stalked over to him, raising the bat above his head.
Beth realized what he was about to do and sprinted up to them to jump in between them. Daryl had seen it coming and readied himself for another fight.
"Come on then! Give me a reason to put ya down for good!"
"Oh Lucille will love shutting that dirty redneck mouth" Negan said.
Beth pushed Negan back, angrily.
"Stop it!" she shouted, and mumbled "Assholes…"
Neither men took their eyes off of each other.
"Get out of the way, Lucy" Negan ordered. Daryl narrowed his eyes a bit in confusion. Was she real? Was she in danger?
"No" she said firmly, planting her feet on the ground. "You're not gonna hurt him, and he's not gonna hurt you. I won't allow it."
Negan huffed but Beth paid him no mind. She turned around and looked straight into Daryl's eyes, distracting him from his enemy.
"He's a good guy, Daryl, don't hurt him" she begged and the sound of her voice as she said his name was enough for Daryl to lose focus altogether. Beth continued.
"He saved me from… from everything."
She looked so real, sounded so real. Daryl looked back over to Negan, with panic in his eyes.
"What've you done to me?" he asked through his tears, sounding like a helpless little boy.
"Kept her safe, that's what I've done to you" Negan answered without sympathy.
With Beth's back to him, Negan knew that this would be the time to put the sorry bastard out of his misery.
"And I plan on keeping her safe a lot longer" he continued as he raised his bat again.
The following second, Daryl saw everything in slow motion: the barbwire coming towards him. Beth turning around to shield him. The horror in Negan's eyes.
Cowardly, Daryl closed his eyes and waited for the sound of a skull cracking. A sound he had gotten so familiar with thanks to the man in front of him.
He waited for her blood to spatter all over him. Waited for her cries of pain. Waited for Negan's reaction. But when none of it came, Daryl knew for sure that when he opened his eyes, there would be no trace of the girl that had stared deeply into his eyes just seconds ago.
He opened his eyes, prepared of the harsh truth of seeing no one but Negan, but instead he still saw her there, and she was wrestling Negan for his baseball bat.
"He's my friend!" she said.
"He's a lowlife piece of shit! That's what he is!" Negan shouted, unleashing all is anger.
"He's not, he's the best man I know! He has kept me safe, just like you!"
"Oh please, don't be naïve...! He just wants his dirty paws on your body. You know I'm right. There's nothing even remotely good or pure about him, trust me."
A silence, a short one.
"It's not like that…"
"It is. Tell her the truth, Daryl" Negan said but didn't wait for him to respond.
Daryl watched the scene in front of him: An angel and a devil playing out the internal conflict Daryl had spent his life trying to suppress. He was sure he had lost his mind.
The devil continued before Daryl could form a response.
"Tell me" he said to her, all of his previous charm gone. "How can a good guy profit so much from something so terrible? Since the apocalypse, all good people have lost so much, but his life just keeps getting better and better."
"What are you talking about?" she shouted back.
"You're to good for him, Lucy, and you know it. You wouldn't have given him another look if the world hadn't gone to hell. A perfectly sweet, innocent, beautiful girl like you, with a dirty old piece of white trash like him? Nah ah. That just wouldn't fly, and I'll be damned if I let the end of the world change anything about that. No one should be profiting from this while other people have lost everything!"
Negan's voice broke. Beth's look softened.
"Killing Daryl won't bring your wife back."
Behind their whispered conversation, Daryl noticed the silhouette of a man against the rising sun dooming up, jogging towards them and gesturing wildly. The wind carried his words away and before Daryl could've spotted who it was, Negan's words captured his attention again.
"You shouldn't have fallen for him, Lucy. He'll only cause you pain" he said and determination set in his eyes.
The man in the distance turned out to be Rick, and as he neared them, Daryl heard the fear in his voice as he frantically shouted at him to shoot Negan, to kill him.
Rick's words caught Beth off guard. She spun around to see if Daryl was planning on complying, but he remained motionless, staring at her through his tears.
With Beth finally out of the way and his bat free to slam onto Daryl's skull, Negan grabbed his moment and raised the bat above his head.
A shot rung out.
Negan dropped to the ground, his barbwire-covered bat missing its target and only landing on Daryl's foot.
Daryl cursed. Negan gasped. Beth screamed.
She ran over to Negan as he lay on the ground, a crimson stain spreading from his chest on outwards over his crisp white t-shirt.
All the color had drained from his face. He stared at Beth with frightened eyes as she dropped down beside him, knowing there wasn't anything she could do to save him.
"You know I have good in me… I've done good" he stammered, barely audible between gasps. "Tell me it's enough to get into heaven. Tell me I get to see Lucille again…"
Beth nodded, her tears falling on his dying body. She stroked his hair, his face.
"You saved me. You'll always be my savior" she said and the corners of his mouth twisted in a small smile before he breathed his last breath.
Daryl didn't even register the pain in his foot as he watched the two people in front of him. Every thought he had over the past weeks flashed through his mind.
She's not real.
He'd been drugged.
She's alive.
He saw her die.
She's a hallucination.
He has her heart.
She's not real.
So he watched motionless, knowing that with every step Rick came closer, this hallucination would fade away. Dawn was breaking and once again she was going to take her away from him. At least he had seen her again.
I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you
Rick's body was operating on nothing but worry as he ran up the hill, the gun in his hand still smoking. Daryl seemed shell shocked, numb as he stood and watched where Negan had fallen to the ground. At least he was still standing, Rick thought and remembered the fear he had felt when Negan had raised his bat and Daryl hadn't moved a muscle.
As he came closer, he noticed someone hunched over Negan's body, plunging her knife almost lovingly into his temple.
A blond girl.
"Beth?!" Rick called out, and felt his body fill up with joy as tears filled up his eyes. It was unmistakably her!
Daryl gasped loudly.
"You see her too?" he cried so softly Rick couldn't have heard him.
But Beth had and she stood up.
In the background, Rick laughed and cried as Daryl drew in a shaky breath and looked straight at Beth.
"She's real?" he asked, not daring to direct his questions at her, but not speaking loud enough for anyone else to hear them.
Beth cried as well and laughed through her tears.
"I'm real."
Daryl sobbed loudly and they ran in each other's arms.
Rick had only taken a second to check if Negan really wouldn't cause any more surprises before he ran over to the pair that held each other so closely it was hard to tell where one of them ended and the other began. Laughing, he wrapped his arms around both of them and they laughed and cried until they couldn't stand anymore.
Eventually, Rick spoke up.
"We should go" he said.
The other two released each other with obvious difficulty, but did so nonetheless. Rick figured there was nothing else to do than to start walking back to his car, but Beth lingered a bit behind, glancing over at the body of the man that had been her friend and their enemy.
Daryl noticed it. He crouched down and picked up the body of the man that had made his life a living hell. Without saying anything, he threw him over his shoulder and pushing through the pain of his injured foot, he walked back with them to where Rick had parked his car.
On their way back, they stopped at the Kingdom and told Ezekiel what had happened. Told him it was over.
No more fighting, no more war. No more death.
Rick told him the miracle of Beth's return and Ezekiel saw it as a sign that life had returned to the area. They were free to go and he would find a suitable spot where Negan's body would be buried in a civilized way.
Without further ado, the trio drove back to Alexandria. Rick behind the wheel, Beth and Daryl in the backseat, a soft tune playing on the radio.
And so, after what seemed like ages of nothing but misery and sorrow, happiness finally returned to the people living in the Alexandria Safe Zone.
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you
A/N: Throughout this chapter, I've quoted parts of the lyrics to I'll Be Seeing you (not mine obviously). Personally, I really like Billie Holiday's version and I would recommend listening to it some time.