Part 9: Epiphany In Motion

The first feeling she had since she hit her head was one of wetness. It was a pleasant wetness, however. The softness of lips intertwined brought about the feeling. She was lost in its depth. They made movements that were in synch with each other. The passion between them started to warm their body temperatures. She could suddenly feel this from nothingness that lasted less than an instant. Her last memory was hitting her head on the concrete path. Then black. Then wet passion a second later. It had to be a dream.

Unless. She tried to call out.

(Luke.)

Speaking was strange now. She could hear her own voice but she could not feel her lips moving. She was just realizing that the arms that were moving along his body were not in her control. In fact, she could not feel anything resembling a body. Yet...she could sense everything.

(No. Can it be?) She concentrated on her current partner. She could feel his desire. She could sense his excitement. Not only that, but she could feel the living things surrounding her.

The Force! It had returned to her.

Though she could sense his feelings, his identity was still foreign to her. She tried calling out again.

(Luke?)

Hun, if you say my ex husband's name again while I'm kissin' another man, I'm gonna mentally slap you silly.

(Mary? What is going on?)

I think you can see for yourself. Or feel for yourself in your case.

(But...I can't see.)

Oh, that's cuz I got my eyes closed. Here.

All of a sudden, Mara saw a light upon her and the image of Jeremi focused before her.

(Jeremi? Why am I kissing him? He already made a pass at me, which I refused.)

That's cuz he was with you. And you ain't kissin' him now. I am.

(How is this possible?)

Yer askin' the wrong person, Space Girl.

(Everything is dark unless you open your eyes. I can't feel my body or yours. And I'm only a voice.)

Welcome to my world for the past year.

(Wait a minute. We've switched places?)

Looks like. Could you quiet down? I am kinda busy here.

(No. This isn't right. How is it that I can feel the Force now? Can you feel it?)

No, hun. I'm in control of my own body now and yer the one livin' inside of me this time.

(Why has the Force returned to me now?)

I dunno. Didn't you say you had it right after you woke up comin' out of a dream?

(Yes. And your point is?)

There was only you inside your mind at the time. I was still in limbo then. Once I was sharing your mind, you couldn't use it cuz I don't have this force. And now that I'm controlling me and yer in my mind then you have your force back and I don't.

(I hope there won't be a quiz on that explanation later. That doesn't explain why my danger sense was back while the both of us still shared your mind.)

And it saved us all. Handy little skill there.

(You don't know the half of it. Ok, so a new thing to adjust to. Do you get the feeling that some Powers That Be somewhere are having a big laugh at us?)

Maybe there's a reason we've switched?

(Perhaps. Ok, first thing I have to ask is how did I go from hitting the pavement to making out with Jeremi within a second?)

That second to you was actually about eight hours. You don't remember anything?

(Nothing.)

That's weird. After I blacked out, all the memories in between black outs would flashback into me.

(That doesn't seem to work with me.)

So, now what?

(I thought you were busy.)

I can stop if you want. I don't know if I want to, though.

(No. You go ahead. This is your life now. You deserve it.)

Actually, there's a real good reason I should stop.

Mary stopped kissing and fondling Jeremi and parted from him to say, "I'm sorry. I can't do this right now."

"What is it? Too fast?"

"Unprepared. In the protection department."

"Oh. Well, we don't have to...tonight. I know we've been through a lot in the past several hours."

(Time out. I need a refresher, Mary.)

"Where is your bathroom?"

(I said I need a refresher, not go to one.)

Jeremi gave her directions and Mary followed them.

Once they were inside the bathroom, Mary whispered, "All rat, what'd you want to know?"

(Who was it who shot at us?)

"We have no idea."

(Didn't the cops find anything?)

Mary scoffed. "Cops? If this was the suburbs, yeah the cops would come. This is the border of Pritchard. Cops don't come here. Shootouts happen here almost everyday. Nobody wants to get involved. Me and Jeremi went inside after I woke up on the pavement. I told him I was Mary now, but I had a hard time convincin' him. I told him how sweet he was for confessin' his love for me to you. We got to talkin' for a long time. He fixed us a small dinner and we talked more. When the notion came up that we get together, I told him it wasn't the rat time."

(That was a brave thing you did.)

"Then I attacked him," Mary giggled.

(Naturally. Who do you think shot at us?)

"I haven't the foggiest."

(You haven't thought about it?)

"Hun, I was havin' me the best time I've had in a year. I wasn't thinkin' on much else."

(Ok. I understand your...our new situation now. That leaves me at a disadvantage. I can't perform an investigation with being just a voice in your head. Unless I give you instruction.)

"Who cares now? I'm back." Mary frowned. "Wait...I'm back, but yer still here."

(Good observation. I'll make a detective out of you yet.)

"Why are you still here?"

(Apparently, your mystery still needs to be solved. No disrespect, but we can't conduct research while we make out with Jeremi.)

"Excuse my indulges. So, where do we begin again?"

(Simple. Since you're in your own body and mind, how is your memory about certain accidents around horse stables?)

Mary took a moment to concentrate but Mara could feel her disappointment even before she said, "Sorry. Still blank."

(Sithspawn!)

"Hey, that's a new one."

(All right, then let's think logically. Who would want you dead?)

"Why does it have to be me? What if Jeremi was the target?"

(He could have been taken out at any time at Deke's. We would have to have been followed.)

"Why couldn't you detect them or do whatever your assassin training tells you."

(Actually, I'm still new to driving your cars. I don't have the tailing patterns down yet. If I had a few months to test...oh oh.)

"What?"

(Jeremi's getting suspicious.)

"Why is that?"

Jeremi's voice came through the bathroom door. "Mary? Who are you talking to?"

(Guess that answers your question.)

"Nobody! I'll be out in a minute." Mary flushed the toilet and whispered, "Are you really gonna make me give up the first batch of happiness I've had in years?"

(Not give up. Postpone. Hey, this is my life, too. Or my second life. Consider the alternative if you don't help me.)

"Which is what?"

(I could be inside your head for the rest of your life. And though I was a good dancer in my youth, my singing was atrocious.)

"That means bad, doesn't it?"

(Oh yes. My own husband was forced by me to admit it after an anniversary party for his sister where we played a sing a long. We were also rather drunk on wine if memory serves. Later, Luke compared my singing to that of a Krayt Dragon's mating call. So, since I'm now just a voice in your head, I could start singing endlessly. How about Box of Rain?)

"You wouldn't dare."

(No. But, you should know me by now, Mary. When I start a mission, I finish it no matter what.)

"I understand. Sorry, Mara, I sorta got carried away."

"It's understandable. Now, what are you going to do with Jeremi?"

"I think you know what I have in mind."

(Mary...that's disgusting. Let me rephrase. What do you plan to do after you leave here soon?)

"Well, since I'm me again, if you don't mind I'd like to see my family again."

(A worthy request. And Mary, you no longer have to ask me permission. I'm just going along for the ride now.)

"'Goin' to Hell in a bucket, at least I'm enjoying the ride.'Sorry...Grateful Dead lyric."

Jeremi knocked on the door startling Mary. "Hey, you are talking to someone in there. You're talking to Mara, aren't you?"

Mary opened the door and came out to see him leaning against it. She saw that he put his shirt back on, which indicated that make out time was over. For that night anyway. "No, I wasn't. Why would you say that anyway?"

"Because Mara claimed she could talk to you."

(Word of advice, Mary; when you speak to me in public, do it non-verbally.)

"So you admit that I'm telling the truth that I'm Mary now? What gave it away?"

"At dinner, you used your left hand to eat. Mara was right handed."

Mary nodded.

"Are you leaving?"

"If you don't mind. We spent damn near the whole day together. I haven't spoken to my mama or my son in a year."

"I haven't spoken to my mother in ten years."

"That's different. Mine's alive."

Jeremi frowned and stared at the floor.

"I'm sorry, Jeremi. That was mean of me to say."

"No, it's all right. I just noticed how you and Mara have the same bluntness. No offense to Mara, but I like it in you better."

"Thanks, I guess. Well, it's gettin' late. I want to get back to at least see mama. Ben should be in bed by now."

"And this is where we part. 'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'"

"What's that?"

"Shakespeare. I read some in my college years."

(Ugh, that's who Dr. Markham quoted.)

And Didi, too. Remember she said he was her brother's proto-something.

(Protégée. Yes, I remember. You better answer him. I get the sense he thinks you're not coming back to him.)

Oh, yeah. "We don't have to part, Jeremi. I just have to go now. You understand. My family comes first."

"As well it should."

Mary leaned into him and placed a kiss on his lips ever so gently. She parted and said wryly, "Preview of coming attractions, my Jeremi-bear."

"I'll be waiting patiently with the popcorn, my sweet Mary-Gold."

(I hope Luke and I never sounded like that to outsiders.)

Just go with the mushy romantic flow, Mara.

Mary and Jeremi held hands until she had to let go and walked away to exit his house. He was at the front door waving to her as she got in her car. She waved back as she pulled out and headed back home.

As Mary drove back, Mara almost scared her with an outburst.

(Left-handed! That's it!)

"Yeah, I'm left-handed. So?"

(So, which side of a horse would you be on in order to ride it?)

"Well...the left side."

(And if you were facing the entrance of the stable from the back, the same way the horse was facing, which side was it on?)

"The right side?"

(Right. I mean correct. There was no post to tie the horse to on the left.)

"What are you sayin'?"

(I'm saying this, Mary. If you approached the horse on its left side because the right was against the stalls, then why was your injury on the left side?)

Mary expressed wonder through the statement, "Hmm."

(If the horse kicked you as you tried to ride it, your injury would be on the right side, not the left.)

"But I could have been hit while I was sideways. But how would the horse's leg hit me if I was trying to saddle him? Saddle." Suddenly, Mary was silent in thought and Mara caught a feeling of curiosity.

(What is it, Mary?)

"There was no saddle in that stable."

(Ok, explain.)

"Mr. Avery never keeps saddles in that stable. He uses it for a spare for new horses comin' in or pregnant mares to keep them away from the rest. I do remember Deke got that andalusian a few weeks before. It takes about a month before Mr. Avery breaks in a horse so it can be ridden. He won't allow amateurs to ride them first. Either himself, or Cassie, or a professional trainer he hired first rides a new horse. I got the impression yesterday that Mr. Avery thought I tried to ride it anyway. And I never ride bareback."

(Meaning what, Mary?)

"I would have never gone down there to try and ride that horse. I just went to go see it."

(But to outsiders, and the police, it seemed that you ignored that and tried to ride it anyway. And if you didn't ignore it, and had no intention of riding the horse...)

"How did I get hit by the horse? Oh my god, Mara."

(Now you believe me.)

"I just never thought about it like that before."

(Logically? It takes a special mind to do that.)

"Who could have done it?"

(There's too many suspects. But, we do have one official eyewitness. Victor. I think we need to pay him a visit again. I really couldn't ask him about his guests he had with him the other night after our pummeling of each other. I got the feeling we didn't hear the rest of the story.)

Mary sighed. "He lives in Springdale. Two exits away. We doin' this tonight?"

Mara could feel Mary's sadness in the anticipation of her answer. (There was a time not too long ago when I chose a mission over family. I paid the ultimate price for that mistake. I'm not going to let you chose like that, Mary. You need to see your family. That should be the priority.)

"Thanks, Mara."

They fell silent for the rest of the way with the only sounds being the car and road. Mary finally reached her house and on the side street was a red minivan parked, which meant Annie was there most likely with Tommy. She parked the Mustang in the carport and got out to enter the side door. Before Mary opened the door, she considered Mara was too silent.

"Mara?"

(Yes, Mary?)

"Oh, just checking. I thought you blacked out on me."

(No. Not my style, I guess.)

Mary opened the door and hesitantly went inside. Immediately, she found Emma and Annie sitting at the dining table talking. They looked up at her but she was speechless.

Emma exclaimed, "Why, there you are, Mara. Where have you been all this time? Did Jeremi catch up to you at Evergreen this mornin'?"

Annie supplied with a mischievous smile, "I think maybe he did, Emma. She does have a glow about her."

Emma stood up and collected the two glasses full of leftover melted ice which she intended to take back to the kitchen. She addressed who she thought was Mara. "Annie and Tommy came over and they're sleeping overnight. I'm gonna fix up the couch-bed for Annie. Ben and Tommy are fast asleep. They tired themselves silly today."

"No firecrackers this time," Annie chimed in.

Emma's voice was plastered with hope when she asked, "Did you and Jeremi have fun?"

Mary still could not speak and Emma noticed.

"Cat got your tongue, Mara?"

Mary found her voice. "No, mama."

That was all the evidence Emma needed. She knew. A mother's instinct was indeed universal. She could hardly form the name from her lips. "J...Janie?"

Mary smiled, making all the difference in Emma's world. "Yeah, it's me, mama."

The glasses were no longer held. They fell out of Emma's hands and onto the white linoleum floor, spilling melted ice and shards of glass everywhere. It did not matter. Their sacrifice was secondary to the pain that had been relieved instantly and the love that had been found anew in the moment. Mother and Daughter came at each other to embrace together for the first time in way too many months, days, hours, and minutes.

The emotion that Mara felt in that moment was not just intense. It was miraculous. She was sharing Mary's love for her mother and Emma's for her daughter. It was a moment that forced Mara Jade to wonder. If only I had this experience with a mother in my youth, how different would my journey have been? If only I had a mother to nurture me, to help me reach my true dreams, and to even scold me at my mistakes, would I have turned out with an alternate personality? Mara could only imagine many trips back and fourth to dance practice, recitals in which her mother never would miss one, and the one set of applause amongst thousands heard throughout the Coruscanti Ballet Theater after Mara took her bows. Seeing Emma and Mary embrace in a total and always forgiving love made Mara Jade discover that hidden underneath her exterior of a practical realist, was a passionate dreamer. The paradox was that if she had been brought up with such a mother, would she have met the one man who saw deep past her hard edge and saw directly to that dreamer inside of her? Somewhere in the back of her thoughts, she thought that somehow, someway, she would have still met her true love no matter which plane of existence she was in.

(Oh, Luke. I will return to you soon.)

You bet your ass you will, Space Girl!

(Thank you, Mary.)

Coming sooner that you can possibly imagine: Part 10 - Detour On Memory Lane