BELLA

"You're fucking god damn motherfucking shitfucking kidding me." Leah growled, leaping up from under where my head was laying on her. She stood by my bed and put her hands on her hips, scowling at me. My body protested at the loss of the heat. "Fuck fuck fuck no."

"Well, I don't know what to think, what to do!" I cried, throwing my hands up. "I had Jake but I lost him and now Edward wants me back and he can give me an okay life."

"He's a leech." She hissed through her teeth. Leah looked so menacing standing above me, her teeth bared and her arms now crossed across her chest. "What has he done to you before without thought? He left you. And you know what? He only came back with you because he thought Jake was getting too close." Leah scowled.

"He loves me." I said, and at this point I didn't know if I was trying to convince her or myself.

"I love you too, doesn't that mean anything?" Leah's scowl deepened.

"It does!" I replied. Leah crawled onto the bed over me, chasing me up towards the headboard, caging me in with her muscular arms and legs. When I had scooted back far enough, she was most definitely on top of me. The look in her eyes was unadulterated rage and it was directed at me. I quivered a little, knowing Leah wouldn't hurt me, but also scared of her wrath.

"It doesn't seem to." Her hot breath hit my face as we stared into each others eyes. "Please don't, Bella. I'd lose you. To them. You're important to me."

"You're important to me too, Leah." I whispered. Leah dropped down and kissed me on the forehead and flopped down beside me.

"Let's keep it that way." She said, rolling over to look at me and grasping my hand.

"I can't imagine not having you with me." I giggled. Which was unusual of me. I really liked who I was when Leah was around. She was brash, cocky and self-confident. She was everything I wasn't and that's probably why we were so close so fast.

Leah sat up and grasped my face and brought my lips to hers in one quick and smooth motion and moved her lips against mine. I complied, enjoying the closeness. The weird thing was that it wasn't weird. It felt so natural to be so close to her. My hands, of their own accord looped around her waist loosely, and we fell back on the bed.

We separated after a couple moments and stayed where we were, her head on my chest.

"It's so hard to not tell you to try to go back to Jake, Bells." Leah sighed. "I don't want you with Edward but I want you to be happy. Jake's desperately unhappy and he's doing it to himself. Sam didn't try so hard with his imprinting, but he's a little more rational with the clean break and everything. You don't know how many times I thought about trying to win him back. But it's hard to break through that level or adoration. Nor could I have, now that I understand it." Leah played with a strand of my hair. "Jake really wants to be with you. And he's trying really hard to."

"I know." I said softly. "But I don't know if him just trying is enough."

"Just so you know. I know how hopeless it feels." Leah replied. I hugged her closer to me.

"I know." I said again. A tear slid down my face.

JACOB

I ran my hand over my face, trying to smooth it out, trying to make the jumbled thoughts in my head come together into something. Something even remotely cohesive. I don't know the last time I slept, the last time I ate.

My body heaved. No eating for me. It heaved again and I ran to the toilet to throw up stomach acid at this point.

I was past phasing. I couldn't, I was too weak to. I could feel my body reacting against me, trying to do everything to keep me a healthy young wolf.

I could also feel the pull.

Renelle.

My mate.

I growled. Not my mate. Bella is my mate.

I needed Bella. I needed Renelle.

My heart drug me closer to Bella, my wolf to Renelle.

I loved them both. I used to love only Bella.

I roared and heard Dad jump in the next room.

I ran out of the house, tearing at my hair.

Was it night time or was it day?

I didn't care anymore.

Bella.

My Bella.

My Bella needed me, she still loved me and I had promised so many times not to hurt her.

I ran, my body taking me to a familiar place, not without huffing and puffing the whole way. To the place I had been camping out. I was exhausted by the time I got there. I threw up into the bushes at the side of the clearing.

I felt myself break.

Bella or Renelle. Renelle or Bella.

Renelle needed me. Bella needed me more.

I felt myself hit the ground before I lost consciousness.

BELLA

I knocked on the door, still uncertain about barging right in like Leah seemed to have no problem with. Probably a wolf thing.

The door swung open and a godly form stood on the other side of it. Shirtless, defined and tall, Seth stared down at me from the doorway.

"Bella" He breathed, staring at me.

"Hey Seth." I said. He stepped aside to let me come into the house. "How's it going?" I tried to ask casually as I walked in. I turned around to talk to him, but he was closer than I thought. I almost hit my nose off his chest. I meant to utter some kind of annoyance, but my words were caught at my throat at the way he was looking at me so suddenly. His dark eyes were impossibly darker, his jaw clenched tight.

Seth and I hadn't been alone since I kissed him that night and I had known why inherently. This magnetic heat between us was intensified at the mere thought of being alone together. He stared into my eyes, never wavering and I couldn't break my gaze from his. He stepped impossibly closer, his body close enough that I could feel the heat, but he wasn't touching me. His eyes heated me from head to toe in a way his body couldn't and it had me yearning to touch him, or to do something to break the spell. I didn't understand this pull, this captivating draw. I hadn't felt it before, but I also hadn't been anywhere this close to Seth before.

I remembered watching him when we were younger, my eyes following him when him and Jake were running around throwing mud at each other. When we were making the mudpies, he was there and I remembered his bright grin as he looked at me. All the years of eye contact, the weird way my eyes would find him in any room, any place. There was also the way I had found him that night I got wasted on Quil's moonshine, the way my mind focused on him.

Suddenly my back hit the wall and Seth's arms caged me in, his body still close, but still not touching. His head dipped so that it was close to mine. His mouth mere centimeters away. His breath tickled my lips, sending tingles down my spine and straight between my legs. My body was heated, electric and suddenly yearning for his.

I tilted my head up towards his. I was close, so close now that a breeze could barely sweep between us. My breath was coming in gasps, there were butterflies low in my abdomen and I could feel his breath on me, fast, along with the thud of his heart.

My eyes had been on his lips, but when I raised them to meet his, I melted. They were pure lust and so deliciously dark.

"Bella." He whispered again, and his mouth forming those words made his lips brush against mine. My knees almost collapsed under me. His voice was husky and filled with all of his emotions, one of the things about Seth that was so attractive. He was an open book of emotions like I was.

I shouldn't be feeling this feelings. But my head was swimming and I was so turned on I don't think my body would respond to any kind of breakaway I told it to do.

Seth's arm snaked around behind me, his hand rested on the small of my arched back. His lips brushed against mine again. Barely a touch but it felt like so much. It sizzled in a cheap romance kind of way, one I never thought was real because it felt too cheesy.

Seth made that low groan in the back of his throat again. The sexy, turned on one that seemed like his tell, I decided. Seth's hot hand on my back was the only thing he was touching me with and it seemed to be the only thing rooting me to the ground.

We had barely even touched and I was feeling the bundling deep inside me that signified an impending release. I couldn't get my thoughts together to form one coherent sentence. The closeness of Seth, the way it turned me on and he had barely touched me was overwhelming and unexpected.

I had sunk too far into the heat to stop myself so I leaned in, expecting to melt into his soft lips and he straightened up, almost shaking himself off as he cocked his ear to the side, also breaking me out of my trance.

"L-Leah" I managed. I felt cross-eyed and bleary. Seth smirked.

"It's so nice to hear my sister's name in a moment like that." He teased, but his still husky voice was a giveaway.

Again, I though, that's one thing that I loved about Seth – was that I could read him as easily as Jake said I could be read. I felt in tune with him somehow, we were both terrible at hiding our emotions.

"No. I'm supposed to go shopping with Leah today." I said, pulling my shirt down further.

"That's why you're all dressed up." Seth said, stepping closer to me again. "You look amazing. You always do." He ran the back of his hand down the side of my face, so softly and then he wound his hand through my hair. I gasped again at his electric touch.

He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and smiling. I'd seen that look, that gesture before. Seth opened his eyes again but didn't say anything. He dropped his hand, dusky eyes staring into my own. Then he turned and opened the door.

"Oh you fucker. I told you to stay away!" Leah leapt inside onto Seth, who barely stumbled. She started swatting at him.

"Stop!" I yelled. Leah looked furious and Seth looked so serene.

Leah looked over at me and calmed down.

"You two are too much for me right now." She said. "Seth gets out of hand when he's alone around you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked as Leah strode forward to take my hand.

"I'm a wolf, Bella." Leah said pointedly. My face was suddenly on fire.

"We didn't do anything." I managed meekly.

"You did enough." She barked, dragging me by the hand to her room. "I picked out this floral dress for today, I kind of want something not too hard to take on and off because" She looked at me, already over it "we're going to be trying lots of stuff on." I laughed and rolled my eyes jokingly.

"It looks great. For the most minimal of trying on clothes." I said as I pointed at her. She whipped off her shorts and tank as I was pointing at her and there was absolutely nothing underneath. She was entirely ropey muscle with feminine curves and she didn't care who saw anymore, something being a wolf most likely had to do with, but she shook her butt at me, cackling as she put her dress on, still with nothing underneath.

"Leah, a strong wind'll show everyone what you have under there" I joked.

"Let them fuckers see it if it happens. They'll find out what they're missing." She said with a flick of her hand.

The thought of Seth's humming voice ran through me, the memory of the closeness of his body, sent shivers down my body. As I came back to earth I saw Leah standing with an eyebrow raised at me.

"Did you hear a word I said? Let's go." She stomped out instead of grabbing my hand, which was odd, and I trailed along behind her.

SETH

I could smell her before she came to the door, and it was intoxicating as soon as I opened it, almost drowning me in her very being. I couldn't help myself. Before I knew what was happening my whole body was just almost pressed up to hers, and not in a crying way or a drunk way.

The way she gasped when her back hit the wall. Her heavy breathing, her little heart thumping against her chest, matching time with mine. The way those chocolate brown eyes looked at me.

I was so close to her, so close without even touching and it felt so intimate. I could smell everything about her. No fear, only lust, wonder, excitement. Her desire was overwhelming and it took everything I had no to act on what my wolf wanted. Hell, what I wanted.

I couldn't help myself around her, I knew she was hurting. But all I wanted to do was lick her wounds clean, heal her and have her as my own, make her happy again. This magnetic pull was becoming harder to resist. The nun-like resistance I had exercised the night she was drunk was wearing thinner and thinner the more times we were left alone.

Here I stood over her, with her body trembling with desire I could smell, battling with my wolf to remain calm. I was so close her perky tits brushed against me a couple times sending a jolt straight to my cock.

My hand on her back was the only thing rooting me to the spot. Enough for now, but aching for more. Her body was almost as warm as mine and quivering with excitement. I could smell it. It invaded my nostrils and every part of my body.

I needed her. She smelled like strawberries and lust and I couldn't help breathing her in, deeply. I couldn't help but moan at her. I was losing a battle against the wolf. The one that wanted her as his own.

"Bella" I breathed, testing my resistance, tasting her name on my tongue. The action made my lips brush against hers and the heat was electric. I heard her gasp and I knew she felt it too. I groaned again.

There was a decision reflected in her eyes and I knew at that moment I was taking it too far. My self control was much more than I thought it was as I turned to listen in the yard for my sister, shaking myself out of it. That seemed to give Bella the clarity she needed.

"L-Leah" Bella's voice was shaky as she tried to regain her composure.

I smirked at her, revelling in her reaction to me.

"It's so nice to hear my sister's name in a moment like that." I teased her.

"No. I'm supposed to go shopping with Leah today." She said, adjusting her shirt, pulling it down further over her tits. Fuck, she wasn't wearing a bra. Her nipples stood at attention and it took everything I had not to bury myself in between them. I had to look away to again regain my own composure.

"That's why you're all dressed up." I said, eyes on her beautiful face, stepping closer to her again. Though I couldn't help myself but to appreciateher body. I felt drunk off of Bella. "You look amazing. You always do." I gave in, reaching out to touch her face. I ran my hand down the her cheek, cradling her soft, delicate skin in my palm. I reached into her thick, dark hair, releasing some of that amazing strawberry smell. She gasped at my touch, melting into it and she was almost pressed up against the wall again. This time wouldn't be so careful.

I inhaled her scent deeply, smelling a myriad of things. I couldn't help myself. She was so turned on, and I did that, without the aid of the rez moonshine. Leah was walking faster towards the door and I turned, flinging it open, expecting her attack.

After Bella separated us and Leah was distracted again, I left unwillingly to do patrol.

Seth, you're a saint, man. Quil's voice was immediately in my head. I needed to figure out how to hide my thoughts better.

I bow down to thee, Seth Clearwater Embry joked, laughing with Quil.

Enough. Get out of here Sam barked at the two men. Seth, you're getting yourself into a hell of a lot of trouble. What is it about this girl.

What indeed.

BELLA

I had been feeling queasy all day. Leah and I had started with some 90s hits, singing along to the Backstreet Boys and giggling all the way to Port Angeles, and I followed her around to some stores and we did silly movie montages dressing up and it was fun, but I couldn't kick that feeling of uneasiness.

It started amplifying as I reached closer to home after saying goodbye to Leah. I almost felt nauseous with the feeling.

I stopped the truck suddenly, memories of years of being warned not to stop or go into the woods at dark flashed through my head momentarily. Now that I knew what was in these forests, I felt like I should be more scared. But something was pulling me towards it.

It was so close to my house, it felt odd. The last time I had been in this part of the woods was when Edward had left me. I stayed away from them ever since. The branches crackled under my feet. I tried my hardest to be quiet, my intuition pulling me along.

I heard the whimpering before I saw the cause of the sound and followed it to a small clearing. The clearing.

In the middle of it was a hulking figure, a human. I slowly approached it, hoping it wasn't what I thought it was.

My heart dropped as I saw the face.

"Jake." I cried, dropping to my knees beside him.

He was curled up in the fetal position, his teeth clattering rapidly, his arms wound around his waist. His knees, given another couple of inches could have touched his chin.

He didn't even react to my voice. He just lay there, trembling and crying, his teeth chattering and dried vomit on his chin. I choked back a sob at the sight of him. He looked worse than death, his face was gaunt, every bone in his face protruding. His eyes, though closed were sunken into his face. They looked bruised and he looked almost fragile.

"Bella needs me" He whimpered, the sound a strangled one. Tears started streaming down my face. He was torturing himself over me. I didn't know how to fix this.

"Jake, I'm here. I don't know what to do" I whispered, a deep sob coming from my throat.

"My Bella. Can't hurt Bella." Jake whispered hoarsely, then started a strangled and unintelligible string of words that seemed to revolve around myself and Renelle. Fuck that bitch. Anger swirled up inside me again and I dropped to my knees. The pain of being around him was still too great. The pain of being here and with Jake and him so sick and almost insane was too great. I fought the gaping hole in my chest. Jake was the most important.

I found my phone and dialled my number one on speed dial. She picked up immediately.

"Something's wrong." I said before she got a chance to say anything. "Find Sam please, I'm at the clearing. I think...the one he found me in. It's urgent" My voice cracked and Leah was silent for only a moment.

"Okay" She said and hung up. I crawled towards Jake, draping my body over his shaking one, and everything went black.

"Bella" Leah's voice was unusually soft as she gently shook me, her hands brushing my hair back softly.

I opened my eyes to find myself curled up in her arms and between her legs on the forest floor, her body almost entirely wrapped around me. My head was laying against her chest, her warmth was comforting, as always.

"There you are." She cooed, hugging me closer to her body. I looked around and found Seth kneeling in front of us, looking at me with the utmost concern. His dark eyebrows pulled together, wrinkling his forehead.

Jacob.

The thought had me fully awake and I tried to leap out of Leah's arms, towards Jake. I clawed at the ground, but Seth was quicker than I was, he caught me easily and held me against his own chest.

"It's okay. It's okay" He whispered into my hair, his face buried in the back of my neck. His body was flush up against my back, and I felt my body respond to his immediately, slackening in his arms.

"He hasn't even talked to Nellie yet." I heard Quil say in a low voice to Sam. "He keeps trying to reach Bella."

"He's had physical and meaningful contact with her once. That was enough to set it off. Harder to resist it I expect after that." Sam's deep voice reverberated across the clearing.

"It's because he's been refusing it." Embry said.

I almost had full attention on their conversation, but Seth's hands were running up and down my arm, his nose still buried in my hair. It was distracting and warming me up and tingling in places he wasn't touching.

"He could die if he doesn't smarten up." Sam replied "I don't know if he's even eaten since then, he's losing muscle mass, but his body is doing everything it can."

"He hasn't phased since that night." Paul said in a surprisingly mild voice.

"He's almost mortal." Quil gasped, his head whipping towards Embry for clarification. Embry agreed solemnly.

That's why his body looked so different. I could see his ribs sticking out on his back. I could count the vertabrae on his spine. He was wasting away.

I tried to launch forward again, but Seth caught me.

"Let me go please." I whimpered up at him, desperate to get to Jake, despite the hole in my chest opening up the closer I got. I choked out a sob, big fat tears making a reappearance.

Sam looked over at me as if this was the first time he noticed me here. He walked over and put an arm around my shoulders, disentangling me from Seth and brought me up to a standing position to walk me over to Jake.

"He's dying, Bella. I want to be straightforward with you." Sam said softly to me. "He wants to choose you but he's already fallen in love with Renelle, due to the imprint's nature. Rejecting an imprint this long into it is dangerous for him, especially with his rightful heritage."

The sentence almost doubled me over. The thought of Jacob loving someone else, having feelings for someone else was too much. It's always been me. From the time we were kids.

"Why shouldn't he get to choose his imprint with his *rightful heritage*." I spat at Sam.

"His imprint is the best choice for his wolf." Sam said, his voice kind but the meaning felt like daggers.

"Bella you have to let him go." Quil's eyes were pleading, and I looked around at all the other men standing around me. They were concerned, a brother was dying. I looked down at Jake, the front of him now where Sam had led me.

"Can't you do anything, look at him!" I cried, looking at them all again wildly. Their faces were grim.

"Only you can do it." Sam said after a while. Jake let out a huge sob from the ground. I dropped to my knees, engulfing his body in my arms. He felt so small, so fragile. I kissed his forehead, which stopped the trembling, but only momentarily.

What was left of my heart broke into a billion tinier pieces. I couldn't take this, I couldn't do it. Tears streamed down my face and I felt like I was coming from a place of utter darkness. This was it. I was going to die with Jake or die saving him.

"Jake." I whispered. This time he responded to me. "Jake you have to let go" my throat closed up with the effort and with the next words my voice was thick. "Let go of me. Your imprint needs you. You can't hurt me...anymore" The hardest words I ever had to say came out of my mouth. Jake couldn't suffer. He meant to much to me, to everyone. He was destined for a happy life with the girl of his dreams, or of his wolf's picking. Jake kept shivering.

For this to work I had to really mean it, it had to be a command. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to trap the tears but they kept falling.

"Why can't she do this." My voice was harsh, broken as I glared up at Sam.

"This needs to be you." There was urgency in Sam's subdued voice. He didn't explain further, but it made me feel marginally better that it was me who Jake needed.

I took a shaky breath, and I couldn't feel the others around me any more. I knew they were still there but I could only feel Jake and myself. I ran my thumb down his skeletal face. I needed to be brave and take this pain away from Jake.

His eyes opened and they looked at me dully, impossibly full of emotion and devoid of it at the same time.

"Bella." He gasped.

"Jake. Let go of me." I said forcefully, trying to make it a command. "Your imprint is your one. Stop trying to protect me. You can let go of the promise." Suddenly I felt his strings that tied us together, from childhood, from our relationship, our love for each other. They floated away from me. "You're not...mine anymore. You belong to..." I swallowed, the lump in my throat unmoving. "Renelle." My heart broke even more. The connection, once too strong to break, strong enough to bring us together in the most unfortunate of circumstances, broke. He was no longer mine.

My attachment to him was still there. I could feel it, I could feel my body reaching out for him, the snipping was something I had to do on my own, with time. His strings, his final attachment to protect me and love me drifted away and was gone.

I collapsed onto the forest floor. The sobs were racking my body and I could barely breathe. It was the "Jake's imprinted" feeling all over again. Just when I had become a human being again I was ripped back down. No one dared to touch me as I felt like I fell through the forest floor. Everyone came back into my view.

Jake's eyes focused upwards, towards the sky, a small light of energy seeping through him.

Sam grabbed an arm and slowly helped Jake up to shaky feet. He was groggy, still almost unintelligible. His breathing was laboured and he was still visibly trembling, the effort seemed all too much for him and he almost fell, but Embry was at his other side to catch him.

I got onto shaky forearms, trembling along with Jake. Tears streamed down my face now, overflowing in my eyes and I could barely see. Snot ran from my nose and down my face. I could barely breathe, I was almost hyperventilating.

A gentle hand grabbed my elbow and pulled me up and backwards. Leah's hand was suddenly grasping my other hand. I instinctively knew it was Seth on the other side of me, his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me and Leah closer to him.

Suddenly I was engulfed in Seth's smell as a soft cloth was pressed against my face and wiping away the tears and the snot. It wouldn't work, they just kept coming. My sobs racking through my body, me powerless to stop it. I could feel the pain of being almost completely separated from Jake, the pain of the connection no longer there. I clutched at my chest, at the hole inside me, the one the pain was radiating from.

"Hey there, Jake." I heard Sam say. "Why don't we get you something to eat."

There was rustling and I heard the pine needles on the floor move around as Jake thudded back to the ground, smacking at something. I turned into Seth, and away from the scene and sounds.

"Get me out of here." I whispered into his chest.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked, his voice humming against me.

"Anywhere but here." I replied.

I was suddenly weightless, curled up in the safety of Seth's arms.

"Bella." Sam's deep voice was suddenly in my ear. "That was a really brave thing you did. I know how hard it was."

"I don't feel brave." I replied, squeezing my eyes shut and burrowing in between Seth's pec muscles. "Let's go"

I shut down for a couple minutes while the wind whipped past us. Suddenly I was placed on still warm ground. I was thankful for the soft sand and I could hear the waves pummelling the ground close by.

"Where are we?" The run, though I hadn't exerted anything, had calmed me down slightly. It could have been that I was farther away from Jake, but both were refreshing.

"Third Beach." Seth said. I looked up at him. He was looking out over the water, his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts, no shirt to be seen. The moonlight shone off of the contours of his face and chest. He was really beautiful, he might have been the best looking of the pack. Though that could have been because of his utter selflessness, his absolute kindness.

"Why are we here?" I asked timidly. That had been quite the run and Seth didn't even seem out of breath. He seemed absolutely pensive.

"This was where you ran out the day after, where I followed you to." He said quietly. He looked at me, his brown eyes shining in the moonlight. "It's a relaxing place. It's a special place."

"Seth..." I started. I was too broken for this man. At this point I didn't want to start something.

He walked over and knelt down in front of me, putting a soft finger on my lips.

"Shh." He said soothingly. And that was all he needed to say in that moment.