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CHAPTER 4
TWILIGHT ZONE

*An ambiguous area between two different states, ways of life, conditions, etc

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"I love you."

Being held close, an honest, shameless confession.

- Disgusting.

"You're mine. I've fallen in love with you so you're mine."

A man larger, taller, stronger - holding him so tightly it squeezed his heart –

- How dare you.

"Because I…"

Genuine emotion ringing in his ears, coupled with impossible honesty in hazel eyes, the feeling of a forehead against his –

- How dare you, Heiwajima Shizuo

"Love you. Izaya."

SLAM

Whispers surmounted in the air. The black haired male with his hair over his eyes withdrew his fist.

The metal pole was undamaged. He didn't have the strength of a certain monster.

He moved onward, for once uncaring of the information in his surroundings. The information in his mind held more importance at the moment.

His knuckles stung with a sharp pain as he clenched his fist.

- Murphy's Law it may be

- But I swear I'll make you pay, Heiwajima Shizuo.

Izaya was furious, as his heart raced in his chest.

- So close.

- I WAS SO CLOSE –

- ….To Checkmate.

His lips twisted into an ugly snarl, openly showing the frustration and irritation the monster brought about in his usually controlled being.

- How is this even in the game?

- This isn't in the game, damn it!

- Love isn't in the game.

- Love was never supposed to be in the game!

- How dare you ruin my plan –

- My game -

- Shizu-chan?

Izaya inhaled, his expression for once not holding any amusement.

- How dare you play a different game?

- How dare you change…..

- My rules?

Izaya's eyes flashed as he stalked through the streets of Ikebukuro, suppressed anger raging in his system.

- Unpredictable.

- Totally, utterly unpredictable.

His thumb brushed against the sharp blade of his knife as he visualized stabbing the monster in his heart –

Full of an emotion that made Izaya want to spit onto the ground like a lowly thug.

- This is why I hate you –

- Heiwajima Shizuo.

…

Ten minutes later

- Fine.

- Fine. If you want to use Murphy's Law on me, you monster –

- I'll play your game.

- Only, I'll use a different law –

- Newton's Law.

Izaya's lips curled up at their edges, his eyes glinting with familiar malice in the depths of their fury.

- I'll show you, that every action has an equal reaction –

- I'll hurt you. And then I'll kill you –

- Even if it's the last thing I do

Izaya laughed. Laughed and laughed, threw back his head and let his laughter ring into the evening air –

- That's right.

- THAT'S RIGHT!

- I'll kill him.

- I'll kill Shizu-chan

- Then I'll regain control again.

Izaya grinned like the maniac he was as he continued forward, in a much better mood than before.

- The world is interesting precisely because it doesn't always go the way I want it to –

- But you shouldn't even be in this world

Izaya's knife was in his hand as he strolled along, earning wary glances from the people around him.

He twirled the sharp blade with his lithe fingers.

- You should die.

- You should just die already, Heiwajima Shizuo.

- So that this world will be full of only humans whom I love –

Stab

Gasps resounded and people backed away from the man who had stabbed a knife into a wall, his teeth clenched tightly as black hair covered his eyes –

- I'll kill you myself, if I must.

The black haired male forcefully pulled the blade of the knife out of the wall and advanced forward, eyes raging with madness.

Even a serial killer would have felt apprehensive at the insanity in the grin which crossed the information broker's lips –

As he walked with measured steps as if already visualizing the blood from his victim -

- I will eradicate you from this world, Monster.

Twenty minutes later

A truck wouldn't work –

So I'll drop a building on him –

Wait, the cost would be troublesome

Maybe I'll drop something that won't be missed, like a crane tower

Or better, send an aeroplane crashing down on him

But what if he sends it flying back to the sky? Since he's such a monster.

Or I could kill the ones he loves,

his precious brother and friends –

Kasuka-kun, Vorona Douglanikov, well Akane-chan's out, maybe Tom-san –

Since I can't kill myself – while I'd love to see the pain at him losing the one he loves, or so he claims,

I'm not willing to die, especially not for that monster.

Actually better yet I could pit the people he loves against each other!

Or pit him against the people he loves, his precious friends -

Heiwajima Shizuo against Vorona Douglanikov -

he doesn't know she's the assassin who kidnapped Akane-chan, that dumb brute

Or maybe I should get another supernatural being to kill him –

Saika? Celty? A Dullahan – the God of Death herself?

If Saika and Heiwajima Shizuo would kill each other, that would be wonderful!

Perhaps I could even get Hijiribe Ruri involved,

getting her to kill Heiwajima Shizuo

and getting him to kill her –

- his own brother's girlfriend –

It'll be killing two birds with one stone!

I better not touch Celty, Shinra would murder me -

Not yet, at least.

Although these random thoughts ran through too fast for a normal person to catch, Izaya absorbed them, every possibility, every consequence, every possible plan, naturally and easily.

Unfortunately, before he could make his judgement, the neighing sound of a horse caught his attention –

Followed by the screeching sound of a motorbike –

- Speak of the Devil.

The man whom humans would compare to the devil thought, his senses zeroing in on the inhuman being before him.

He plastered a smile onto his face as the rider in a black suit dismounted from the black motorbike.

His hands were slipped leisurely into the pockets of his fur trimmed jacket as he regarded the supernatural being with a bemused gaze.

"Ah, courier. What can I do for you?"

Celty did not reply. She took heavy steps towards Izaya, then reached out and slapped him.

"…!?"

Izaya stared, the last thing he had expected was a slap from the headless woman.

[YOU BASTARD!]

The PDA flashed viciously in front of his face.

Izaya wondered if the aliens Celty was so scared of had replaced her PDA with theirs. It certainly looked like it was going to grow a jaw with sharp teeth that would snap at his face.

[How could you do that?!]

"Do what?"

[Don't pretend!]

Celty was so angry her fingers were trembling, and she felt like screaming but she couldn't -

[HOW COULD YOU HURT SHIZUO?!]

…

"…Ah, so it has come."

Izaya spread his hands, an amused smile on his face -

"The White - or should I say, Black Knight."

His sly gaze moved to the black motorbike –

"Black Knight on a Black Horse! The Headless Black Knight! Hahaha! Shizu-chan isn't a damsel in distress you know."

"He's a monster – like you. Ah, you're rescuing your fellow monster from the evil clutches of the villain, aren't you? How amusing! But as you can see, my dear Headless Black Knight, I loathe to have him anywhere in my near vicinity."

"So it's no use coming to me – unfortunately I don't have strong enough chains to hold that monster down -"

[HE LOVES YOU!]

Celty had to struggle not to wrap her shadows and strangle Izaya, knowing Shizuo would not like that.

[EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE BASTARD AND HORRIBLE PERSON AND YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM AT ALL!]

"Now really, that's quite hurtful. Who's to say Shizu-chan deserves me?"

[DESERVE YOU?! OF COURSE HE FUCKING DESERVES YOU, IT'S YOU WHO DOESN'T DESERVE HIM!]

Celty was practically screaming wordlessly. If she had a voice, Izaya would have covered his ears.

[YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYONE, ESPECIALLY NOT A KIND MAN LIKE SHIZUO WHO LOVES YOU!]

"I don't care if that monster loves me! I HATE HIM!"

"…..…"

"I hate him so much."

Izaya gritted his teeth. Realizing Celty was not flashing words into his face, he inhaled, and gave her a smile, leaning back.

"So, before you accuse me of hurting him, why don't you consider my feelings? Just because he loves me doesn't mean I have a responsibility to return that disgusting love of his."

His eyes narrowed.

"Because I hate him. I hate Heiwajima Shizuo."

…

[Why do you hate Shizuo?]

Had Celty had a voice, those words would have been said in a cautious tone.

"Why do I hate him? There are so many reasons. But if you want to know, I just don't like him."

[What do you mean…you just don't like him?]

[I asked Shizuo why he hated you before…and he said the same thing too.]

Izaya felt annoyed. Not only had he had the same thought as a monster, Celty had used the past sense – "hated".

Which implied the monster didn't hate him anymore.

"How do I describe this feeling of just not liking someone? It's too troublesome to analyse these feelings for it'll make me angry like a certain monster."

Izaya smiled as if to warn the Headless Rider.

"So, don't ask anymore and just chalk it up to I just don't like him, okay? Courier-san."

[…Can I say something?]

"Sure."

With that affirmation, words were rapidly thrust into his face.

[You're lying.]

"Huh?"

[I don't know if you love Shizuo] Celty "said"

[But you don't hate him. If you hated him, why would you be troubled to analyse your own feelings? Is there something you don't want to see?]

"Really…."

Izaya's smile was sharp, contrasting the smoothness of his words.

"Is there some Dullahan ability I'm not aware of – the power to judge others' feelings better than they themselves can?"

[But you're not denying it]

"…What are you trying to say?"

[Shizuo said he just didn't like you before. But now, he's in love with you.]

Celty showed the words to Izaya.

[I've never seen him like this before.]

"Like what?"

Celty seemed to ignore him.

[Do you think…there's any chance you can return Shizuo's feelings?]

If she had been human, she would have sounded hopeful -

It disgusted Izaya. To think that a monster like Celty, a Dullahan like her was able to show such human emotion for someone other than Shinra - for the sake of a monster -

"No."

Izaya spat. He was smiling.

"I don't care about that monster's feelings. Go and tell him to fall in love with someone else, some woman maybe, like that Caucasian woman who's always with him, just not the man he's supposed to hate."

[That's like telling you to stop loving humans]

The words were jabbed in angrily, lacking punctuation.

[Or telling Shizuo to stop hating you before all this happened. You think Shizuo's emotions are that weak? You think Shizuo's love is that shallow? You think he'll stop loving you and love someone else just because he's told to?!]

Izaya leaned his head back so the PDA wouldn't hit his face.

[Whatever. I've had enough. I've tried my best to convince you but I see you're nothing but a heartless bastard.]

"I have a heart for everyone except monsters."

Izaya merely continued smiling as Celty walked away. He shrugged.

"There are so many people already caring for him even though he's such a monster, what makes you think I would be another?"

[…So that's it?]

"What is it?"

[You're jealous.]

Even though the words were far away, it was as if they were shoved into his face -

[You're jealous of Shizuo.]

"…Now you're just being ridiculous."

[I suppose I should pity you. The man you hate so much because you're envious of him is now in love with you. And he has told his love for you to his friends, like me.]

[He's sharing his love for you so openly, and soon, people you know but who don't like you will come talking to you about it]

Celty's words were getting more cruel, even to a man like Izaya.

[To convince you to give Shizuo a chance. Not because they like you, but because they care about him]

[Because they don't like you at all, but since you happen to be Shizuo's love now, they'll do it.]

Izaya had never thought non verbal words could make him feel such irritation.

[Otherwise, they wouldn't even talk to you at all. Because they don't like you. No one will like such a horrible person like you.]

"Is that supposed to hurt me? I don't care if no one likes me, I know I'm a horrible person. I deserve to be hated."

Izaya smiled self-deprecatingly, as if he was telling the truth for once.

"As long as I love my humans, I don't really care about petty things like "like". So if that was an attempt to convince me to give him a "chance", you've failed."

[Fine. You don't care? Let's say, Shizuo's love for you isn't that strong, and he finds a woman and falls in love with her, or he falls in love with that pretty blonde woman he's quite fond of.]

[Do you know what will happen?]

"Enlighten me."

[He'll leave you alone. He'll leave you all alone. He won't even bother getting angry or chasing you when he has more important things to do in his life, if he's in love with someone else.]

[When he has something to focus on, something to make him feel so good and happy, it'll be harder for him to get angry]

[No matter how much you bother him, no matter how much you try to get his attention, it won't work.]

Celty flashed the words mercilessly -

[And soon, he'll forget all about you.]

"That's impossible. He's hated me so much, for so long, he's always been chasing me since we met each other. There's no way he'll completely stop that all of a sudden, even if he's occupied with a woman."

[Why not? According to you, he's unpredictable, isn't he?]

[He wants peace the most, one day he'll realize you're not even worth his time]

[I've seen him grow soft for her. For Vorona. He still gets angry but he definitely cares for her. He's concerned whenever she gets injured. He talks fondly about her to me.]

[I didn't tell him this, since he told me he's in love with you, but I was actually hoping he would realize he loved her, and enter into a relationship just like the rest of us]

"Too bad he's not in love with her huh? It must be because she happens to be his first female friend besides you who's a monster like him."

Izaya was suddenly gleeful, all traces of annoyance he had felt at Celty's words gone from his eyes.

"He's in love with me."

The information broker laughed, as if Celty had just told him a joke instead of insulted him -

"I know! I'm the last person any of you expected him to fall in love with! What a joke! I'm not even a woman!"

"And if it causes that monster grief because I won't return his love, if it can hurt him like nothing has ever been able to do so, I'm happy! So don't worry, it's not that I'm not happy he's in love with me, I just don't return his horrible love!"

Izaya grinned widely, spreading his arms generously as if welcoming Shizuo's love.

[…You're impossible]

Izaya smiled brightly at the defeated tone in those words.

[Fine, be that way. Just don't come crying to Shinra later when you realize you're all alone.]

"Oh don't worry. I won't disturb your lovey dovey time with Shinra. I reckon this is just a phase, soon Shizu-chan will be trying to kill me again when he realizes I don't "love" him back. That will definitely trigger his anger. I'm looking forward to it!"

There was a smirk on Izaya's face, as if the only good thing about the monster's love for him was a new method to make him angry – or even angrier than usual.

[Honestly]

Celty flashed her PDA to the black haired man as she mounted her bike -

[You are going to end up all alone in the end.]

[And you're going to regret rejecting the only one who has ever cared about your existence]

Her fingers typed the words she knew would jab into the informant's heart -

[Even Shinra doesn't, by the way]

The sound of her motorbike speeding off was all that occupied the air for a while, as Izaya stared after her.

"Really…"

Izaya said.

"That was just cruel…courier-san."

"Using my only friend against me. Using the information I gave you against me."

The informant's hand was clenched into a tight fist.

"You're making me hate Shizu-chan even more."

A half pleased, half disturbed smile was on Izaya's lips.

"Because it's impossible for me to love a monster."

He turned his head to the sky, as if directing the question to the heavens, the emotion in his smile one only he would know.

Yet not acknowledge.

"Right?"

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A few days later, in an apartment in Shinjuku

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… …

"Hey Namie, what is love?"

"Huh?"

"Love. Romance. Non-platonic affections for someone. This thing humans call "Love". What is it?"

The information broker rattled off what is known to be the strongest emotion in the world as if it was more of an entirely foreign entity to him than the monster he hated.

"…"

"I don't know love. I already love my humans, I love them so much. So why is there still "Love"? Why must there be another love in my life? Me, who loves humans more than they love each other. Can't have room in his heart for another love, right?"

Had Namie been looking, she would have seen Izaya throw his arms up and raise his gaze, as if he was looking at the heavens in the sky.

"You're a bastard so your heart's small, if it even exists. And I don't know who is crazy enough to fall in love with a maniac like you, but she's really something if she can make you question the notion of love."

Namie said stonily, not looking at Izaya.

"Why?"

"Because you've always believed your love is only for humans, and that there is no other love except for your humans. No other notion of love exists to you, or any other emotion. Except your hatred for Heiwajima Shizuo -"

Namie paused.

Silence engulfed the room. Slowly, the black haired woman turned to face the information broker who was looking off to the side.

"…It isn't some woman, is it? It's Heiwajima Shizuo. You're in love with him."

Namie said to her male employer who was for once not looking at her with that taunting gaze.

"I'm not in love with him. He's in love with me."

Izaya spoke as if he was trying to emphasize the obvious difference.

"He's in love with you. But you're also in love with him. Otherwise you wouldn't be questioning the notion of love. Love for a certain individual."

"I'm not gay, Namie."

"Did I say you were gay? You look like a bastard who can take advantage of a woman. Though you're also effeminate for a man. You're a confusing bastard, you know that?"

"Why thank you Namie, I live for that."

"So you're not gay, you claim you're asexual. You may be straight for all I care. Or bisexual. But whether you're straight, gay or bisexual or asexual, you're in love. Face it, Izaya. Face the facts."

Namie said as she sorted through the documents in her hands, speaking with a wry smirk on her face.

"You're an information broker, aren't you, Orihara Izaya? Why can't you face the information you've been given?"

"I can face information, I can do more than that, I can gather and manipulate and suit information to my own needs. To my own advantage."

"But emotions are different. It's not like those emotions I've been shown came from a human, they came from a monster. And….."

Izaya sounded so suddenly distant and nearly forlorn that Namie turned to look at him.

"I've never been in love before. How do I face love?"

"…Are you scared of being in love?"

"Maybe."

Izaya was speaking as if he was in a moment of honest clarity.

"Don't you fear what you don't know? But…"

Namie watched as he leaned back, raising his gaze into the sky outside.

"Shizu-chan's in love with me. Heiwajima Shizuo said he loved me. What do I do?"

He sighed, his eyes so sombre Namie felt a tinge of pity for him.

"Shizu-chan wouldn't say such a thing if it weren't true, he's frustratingly honest like that. So it must be true. Does that mean he won't try to kill me anymore? That he'll stop chasing me? What does one do when he's in love?"

"You should be happy he's in love with you."

Namie said in a matter of fact tone. Izaya looked at her and she continued.

"What does one do when he's in love? He pays more attention to the person. Isn't that why boyfriends give girlfriends all their attention? Why women are insecure about their feelings for men? So since Heiwajima Shizuo is in love with you, your precious "Shizu-chan" is in love with you, shouldn't you be happy? You've always wanted his attention, right?"

"You don't care if your humans don't pay attention to you, but you make sure Heiwajima Shizuo does, you want his attention so much that you go and make him mad just to have him focus on you."

Namie gave an unladylike snort as she recalled the things Izaya had done to trick Shizuo and make him mad at him.

"If you really wanted to kill him there's a lot of other ways besides attacking him. If you give me enough money, I could make you a poison lethal enough to kill that man. Isn't that easier? Killing him from the inside."

"Killing him from the inside…"

It was as if something had lit up in the informant's mind. Namie turned slowly.

"Namie, you just gave me a great idea."

"…I regret speaking now."

Izaya laughed. He leaned back and released loud laughter into the air.

"That's right! Killing him from the inside. Destroying from the inside."

His eyes gleamed, a smirk on his lips, and the expression on his face was as if he was already imagining the scene, with malice so great it sent a chill down Namie's spine.

"After all, love is in the heart, right? That's what humans say anyway. So…if Shizu-chan loves me, I can destroy him. This time….."

His body was starting to tremble in excitement, and the grin on his face widened.

"I can kill him! I can destroy him with words. I can finally..…finally…"

Laughter bubbled up from Izaya's throat, rising and rising in pitch with a dangerous timbre.

"GET RID OF HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO!"

"HAHAHAHAHA! AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA!"

It seemed Izaya was not able to control his excitement anymore at the monster's demise. Even Namie felt a little apprehensive.

The informant's malevolent and delighted laughter was the only thing that filled the expanse of the office for minutes.

…

…

"…Are you done?"

The words from the black haired woman were said almost cautiously.

The black haired man let a final chuckle escape his lips, then turned and smirked. He stood up from his seat, shrugging his coat onto his shoulders.

"I really love you Namie. You're a horrible woman, but you're an interesting human. The way you're able to think of such a simple but deadly method! Ah! You just reminded me of why I love humans! You've surpassed my expectations!"

Namie said nothing. Izaya turned and graced her with a smile.

"I'm going out. If I happen to meet that monster, and if this idea really works, I might just raise your pay."

"You better."

"Of course! I'm a man of my word."

Izaya gave one final smirk, then turned and stepped out of the door.

"Have dinner ready when I get back! We can celebrate the demise of Heiwajima Shizuo!"

"Then…then…this world will FINALLY BE FULL OF ONLY HUMANS WHOM I LOVE! Hahaha….HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

With a final laugh, Izaya closed the door. Namie could still hear his laughter as it gradually faded.

The woman turned back to the documents on the table, scanning them with practiced eyes.

"And here I thought he sounded human for a moment."

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Chapter 4 END