A/N: Thank you to everyone for your reviews, PM's, favourite story and author adds. I really do appreciate all of your comments.

Special thanks to my friends Purdy's Pal and JediSkysinger for reading through the various drafts of this. Extra thanks to the wonderful JediSkysinger for giving this a BETA even though she's very busy.

Lastly thank you to DaisyDay, Noelle and all of the girls on twitter for your love and support

10

Sunshine poured in through the bedroom window to highlight the lone figure in the large bed. Hours had passed since the night of passion had reignited the spark of love that she had tried so hard to push away. Taking a deep breath, Fiona hummed in contentment as she stretched her tired limbs before she slowly opened her eyes. The bright sun caused her to blink at the intrusion and she turned her head away, intending to bury herself against the man beside her.

Reaching out a hand she splayed her fingers over the space beside her but snapped her hand back when all she was met with was empty space. She tried not to let the panic swamp her as she leaned up on her elbows to look around the bedroom for her elusive lover.

"Michael…" she called out his name, expecting him to answer her, but all she was met with was silence. Shifting position, she scooted towards the edge of the mattress and dangled her legs over the side as she tugged at the sheet so that she could wrap it around her naked body.

"Michael," she tried again when she padded towards the bedroom door, opening the wooden barrier before she ventured out of the room.

The silence was deafening, which only succeeded in making her more edgy. If Michael was inside the apartment he certainly was going a good job of hiding. Glancing down at the tile floor, she shivered slightly when the cool ceramic impacted against the soles of her feet. Pulling the sheet tighter, she moved towards the living area, dragging the pooled sheet behind her.

If he'd left her again after the night they shared then—

Stopping mid-step, her eyes honed in on the white piece of paper that was propped up against the kettle and she felt the first pang of sadness envelope her. How many times had she awoken alone like this? The CIA had always been the only ones who could lure Michael from their bed, even when they lived in the loft. She'd let him back into her heart for one night…one…and she wondered how many times he would do this exact same thing to her as time went on.

Her mind filtered back to the night before, the memory heating her skin. They hadn't made love in such a long time, so what happened between them last night was something they had both craved for months. She loved him, absolutely…completely…only him… always only him… and he knew it.

On the phone last night she'd heard him tell Raines that he'd meet him today. Maybe that's where he was, but despite knowing that, with Michael she would never really know everything…it still hurt.

When she walked towards the kettle, she held one arm around her stomach to keep the sheet secured around her body. Reaching out with her free hand, she plucked up the paper and allowed her eyes to linger over the folded paper, wishing that her heart wouldn't keep telling her that she should just wait a little longer. She was tired of waiting for him to show her that there would be a life for them after the CIA.

With a heavy sigh, she unfolded the note and prepared herself for whatever it might say, but when she scanned the paper all she could see was a blank page. Turning it around she checked the back to see if she'd missed anything but there was nothing…no words, just nothing.

A sudden noise caused her to start and she spun around to try and remember where she'd put her gun. Hoisting up the sheet, she moved towards the living area but her foot snagged on a piece of the material wrapped around her body, causing her to fall into an unceremonious heap on the floor.

"FI?"

Michael's voice echoed throughout the apartment and she struggled to get to her feet before he came in and found her like this.

"I'm okay," she told him quickly when he rushed in to dump the food cartons he'd brought from the store onto the table.

"What are you doing?" he asked incredulously when she managed to pull herself up onto her knees. Holding out his hand, he helped her onto her feet but refused to release her. Her eyes told him things that he knew she would not and, by the wetness gathered in them, it suddenly hit him. She'd woken alone again, just like before and he berated himself once more for not making sure she was fully awake before he left.

"Where the hell were you?" she snapped angrily as she gathered the rumbled sheet up so that she could keep it secured around her. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"I did," he urged when he saw the disbelief in her eyes. "I told you I'd be back before you woke up again, but I had to make a detour before I came back"

"What was so important that it couldn't wait? I swear, Michael, if you—"

"We don't have any food in the apartment," he told her as he lifted his hand to tuck some errant hair behind her ear. "I haven't been staying here much, so I stopped off at the store to pick up your favourite shampoo... and I thought you might be hungry, so—"

Before he could finish, she surged forward to cover his mouth with hers, stealing the words from him. The kiss only lasted for a brief moment but, when their lips parted, they couldn't seem to pull away from each other.

"I'm sorry," he whispered when he rested his forehead against hers. "After last night, I wanted to…"

"I know," her breath fanned his face as she felt her senses calming again. His warmth surrounded her and she realizsed that everything she loved about him had been wrapped up together when his arms enclosed her body.

They stood together for what seemed like an eternity, both of them relishing the closeness that had caused them to gravitate together all those years ago. Her own words resounded inside her head; words that she had written down in a parting note when she didn't think that she would ever see him again without a glass wall between them.

She meant what she'd said in that letter. Loving a spy meant that she had to make sacrifices because he made them every day. She had seen what he'd given up just to keep everyone safe, but she had given up a lot of herself, too. She wished that he would remember everything she'd lost in order to stay by his side, but sometimes she felt completely invisible to him.

"I heard from Raines," his voice broke through their silence. "He wants to meet with me today to talk about Meyers."

"Okay," she told him simply, her mind already creating so many scenarios of the things that could go wrong.

"I'll be back here as soon as I get done," he told her reassuringly when he felt her slowly pull away from him. "Then we'll talk."

"Talk about what?"

"I think you already know," he sighed. "I don't want to fight with you, Fi, but I know you need an explanation—"

"You need the CIA," she told him nonchalantly as she hoisted the sheet tightly around her body before she turned away from him. "You can't give it up."

"Fi—"

"I'll get dressed," she sighed as she bent to gather her clothes from the floor. "I know you'll want to get out of here."

Michael shook his head in frustration and moved towards her. Halting her movements, he took hold of her shoulders and turned her around to face him. Without warning, he claimed her mouth with his, kissing her with such passion that her clothes and the sheet fell from her hands to pool around her feet.

Fiona's body was melting under his intense touch, igniting her with molten fire. He had managed to render her powerless once more by reminding her of the fire that had coursed throughout their early relationship. He was Michael McBride again, the man who had taken the woman she had been and moulded her into the woman she was now. He filled her with passion, showed her how it felt to love and be loved. He was her heart, her soul and everything else in between.

Tearing her lips from his, she gasped in a breath as she tried to control her racing heartbeat. Lifting her eyes to his face, she focused on his lips before she met his gaze. He was watching her with so much adoration in his eyes that she really didn't care that she was standing completely naked inside his kitchen.

Wordlessly, they gravitated together once more, seconds away from another kiss when the silence was interrupted by a cell phone ringing. They both stilled, torn between him answering or ignoring the annoying sound and seeking out each other once more.

Fiona's eyes opened, her gaze focusing on the uncertainty in his eyes and, in that one moment, she knew that he wouldn't be able to allow the call to go unanswered. With a frustrated sigh, she lowered one of her hands to his chest and pushed him backwards before she bent down to grab at her discarded dress again. She watched his eyes flare when she didn't bother to pick up the sheet again. She was far too angry and defeated to care about her modesty right now.

"Maybe it would be best if I go," she told him when he opened his mouth to apologize. "Answer your phone, Michael."

Michael's eyes seemed to darken in that moment; needing her with everything he possessed. Reaching out to grasp her wrist before she could turn away, he tried to find the right words to tell her how much he needed her, but in the end he could only think of one thing to say.

"Stay," he told her helplessly as the ringing phone grew silent. "Please?"

Fiona found herself nodding before she had time to stop herself. He confused her with his tenderness and she really didn't know what to believe anymore. Shivering slightly, she looked down at the dress in her hand and opened it out so that she could pull it on over her head, covering her body. She'd been standing in his kitchen naked and suddenly she felt herself flush beneath his intense gaze.

Within seconds, he had descended on her once more. He couldn't seem to stop touching her. Having her close and responding to him far outweighed the desolate loneliness when he was without her. She could shift between fury and tenderness in mere seconds; she was infuriating and confusing but she was perfect.

Capturing one of her hands, he gave it a gentle tug and pulled her towards him. He knew from experience that Fiona was a woman who didn't need words. This exquisite woman needed only one thing and he intended to give it to her in any way he could. Taking another step closer, he met her uncertain eyes and smiled down at her reassuringly before he dipped his head to capture her lips.

When their lips touched again in a kiss that rocked her soul, Fiona found it difficult to deny him anything. His arms encircled her waist, pulling her against him tightly as he deepened the kiss. Fiona was lost, drowning in her passion as her hands moved up his chest to the back of his neck to entangle themselves in his hair. Being close to him had always been like a drug, intoxicating and addictive. One touch and she had lost all of the tenacity that kept her so strong, but his actions tore away all of her fears.

The phone began to ring again, the intrusion causing both of them to groan with frustration. Michael tried to ignore the sound, instead keeping his focus on the woman in his arm. He pulled her tighter, hoping the distraction of having her so close would reduce the calls of duty, but in the end he knew whoever was calling wouldn't just give up. Reluctantly, he started to pull away from her, their lips slowly parting. Opening his eyes, he saw the trust in her eyes mixed with the deep resignation that the job would always have to come before anything else. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but in the end he knew that she wasn't.

"I have to…" he whispered in between pressing kisses against her lips, reluctant even now to be away from her.

"I know," she murmured softly, holding his bottom lip in between her own, tugging on it gently before releasing him completely to step away breathless.

Michael's heart was pounding in his chest, he knew he had to leave, but the adoring pull of her eyes held him there, a willing prisoner in her gaze.

"I'm going to head back to the hotel," she told him firmly. "I'll need a change of clothes."

"Stay here," he told her then, stepping closer for a second before moving back again knowing that her touch would render him motionless. "Live here… with me."

She considered his proposal for a few seconds before a cautious smile graced her face, "I know you think you want this, Mich—"

"I do want this," he told her with as much conviction as he could muster. "We lived together, we shared a home…nothing has changed Fi."

"A lot has changed, Michael," she told him on a sigh. "Before you were a burned spy trying to get back in—"

"I'm still the same man," he insisted. "I still want the same things that you do."

Fiona lowered her eyes and shook her head slightly before she lifted her gaze to his again. He was trying to show her that he had changed and despite the defiance that dominated her mind, she knew she owed it to him to at least let him try.

"I'll stay until you get back," she nodded. "We'll talk about it then."

"Okay," his voice seemed to be wavering as he stepped away from her, his need to be near her almost outweighing the need to do his job. "I shouldn't be any longer than a couple of hours."

"Okay."

"I'll call you when I'm on my way," he promised as he plucked his phone from his pocket and hurried out of the kitchen without looking back.

Fiona stood still and listened for the front door to close before she released the breath she didn't realise she was holding. With a resigned sigh, she bent to pluck her discarded underwear from the floor and headed towards the bathroom, hoping that a hot shower would ease the heaviness in her heart.

000

An hour later, Fiona checked her phone to see if she'd missed any calls. Scrolling through the menu, she sighed in annoyance when there wasn't anything listed in her call log. Angling her wrist, she looked at her watch again and noted that only ten minutes had passed since the last time she'd looked.

Placing her phone onto the kitchen table, she moved towards the windows and looked outside. Michael had chosen this place with her in mind and that should have been enough to convince her that he really was trying to put her first this time. When Michael told her he would leave the CIA back in Panama, it had given her something to cling to. It made everything they'd all been through since Anson came into their lives feel like a distant memory; it just seemed to make everything she'd lost worth it.

Now, as she looked out into the clear blue sky, she had to ask herself if she was really happy with how things had turned out. She had felt so close to Michael last night. The two of them had seemed to regain a lot of their spark and she couldn't deny that she still loved him. She just didn't know if she could take being second best again.

Turning away from the window, she turned back around and surveyed the large living area. It was practically bare, the only signs of life being a single chair in the corner of the room. The only room that showed any signs that the apartment was lived in was the bedroom, and even then the room and bed lacked any kind of organization. The décor had always been her job… well; it was when they lived together before.

She was suddenly struck by intense sadness. She hadn't felt this alone since she was in her tiny cell in prison. She'd hung on to what little hope she had by believing that the man she loved was missing her just as much as she was. It got her through those dark times. It was the only thing that kept her going.

Moving towards the lone chair, she sat down into it and lay back against the headrest. Those months in prison had been her darkest times. There was nothing but despair and loneliness…until Michael came to visit her in that tiny little glass walled room.

Tears welled in her eyes when she remembered that meeting. She had missed him so much and wanted nothing more than to find her way through that glass barrier, to crawl into his arms and never let him go…when had it all gone wrong?

Maybe the anger was the only thing that was allowing her to cope now. Maybe she couldn't function without feeling some kind of fury; it seemed to be the only way she could deal with her grief. It served her well after Claire was taken from her and it had fuelled her actions when she needed to release her pain. Maybe that's why she couldn't seem to let it go now. Staying angry at Michael seemed to be part of their relationship…she didn't know how to be anything else.

Lifting her eyes up to the ceiling, she traced the patterns that the sunlight made on the paint. She had loved the loft with its tatty paintwork and rusty old stairs. Every crack that made it look so derelict only made her appreciate it more. It had been more than their home; it had also been their haven.

Sitting forward in the chair, she allowed her eyes to wander around the vast empty space around her. She could see why Michael had chosen this particular apartment block. It reminded her of the loft in many ways, the only difference being that there were two separate bedrooms. Her eyes drifted over towards the kitchen area, her mind flashing with the memory of what almost happened in there. She'd never really been an exhibitionist and she was thankful that the apartment was high enough up that no one could have spotted her wandering around naked. Unless Meyers was on a boat on the Miami River, then she was pretty sure that her modesty was still intact.

Getting to her feet, she moved towards the doors again and slid open the patio door. The sound of the sea hit her senses and she suddenly found herself smiling despite her determination not to fall in love with this place. Michael had surely set out to find them the perfect apartment that resembled the loft, and she was pretty sure he'd found one that looked out to the sea just to appease her.

Stepping out onto the balcony, she lifted her face into the sun and closed her eyes. She could get used to an apartment like this, especially one that resembled the one place that she'd always regarded as her home. But she wasn't sure if she was ready to forgive and forget what Michael had done; this would always feel like his place not hers.

Keeping her eyes closed, she took a deep breath before she opened them again to take one last look around the apartment. She shouldn't be waiting here for him to come back; she'd done far too much of that already. Besides, she had to check in with Jesse's boss to see if he had any more bail jumpers for her.

As if on cue her phone sprang to life and she practically skipped towards it. Plucking it up from the table, she pressed the text screen and smiled brightly when she saw that her day was going to turn out to be more interesting than she'd thought. The prospect of taking down another fugitive brought a spark of excitement into her heart. The conversation with Michael could wait; after all, she had spent most of their relationship waiting for him.

Glancing down at her watch, she wondered if she should leave him a note, but in the end she thought better of it. He probably wouldn't be back for hours anyway and, when he did eventually return he would be so consumed with whatever mission he had next, she might as well not exist.

A sudden sound caused her to look around for her bag and she silently berated herself for not paying more attention. She spotted it on the floor not far from the kitchen, resting in the same spot where it was discarded last night.

"FI," Michael's voice called out and she felt herself relax a little when he appeared before her.

"Michael," she smiled distractedly as she moved towards her bag and picked it up from the floor to dump it onto the table. "I didn't expect you back so soon."

"I told you I'd be back," he told her, his eyes following her when she avoided his gaze to look around the apartment as if she was searching for something. "Fiona…what's going on?"

"Sorry," she sighed when she turned towards him to offer him an apologetic smile. "Something's come up."

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly when she still seemed to be so distracted.

Instead of answering him right away, she set alarm bells ringing within him when she opened her bag to take out her favourite gun. With expert eyes, she checked that it was fully loaded before she lovingly replaced it back into the bag.

"I'm fine," she told him with a bright smile as she slipped the bag strap over her shoulder. "I've gotta run."

"What?" he asked quickly his confusion merging into dismay. "But we were going to talk."

"I'm sorry, Michael, but I have a job to do," she told him with a shrug.

"You mean you have another bounty?"

His voice halted her movements and she slowly lifted her head to look at him, the smile dropping from her lips. The time bomb that was Fiona Glenanne suddenly sparked to life, the trigger being the look in Michael's eyes.

"Yeah," she told him with a little more venom than she'd intended. "I've got a bounty. What of it?"

"What of it?" he asked aghast. "Fiona, it's dangerous. You could get—"

"Don't YOU dare do this now," she snapped back, her voice slicing through his. "I lived every day you were away worrying about you, not knowing whether you were alive…I spent three weeks in a tiny CIA cell wondering if I'd ever see you again and no one came to tell me anything."

"I told you—"

"YOU told me NOTHING," she hissed. "I was left to fear the worst and I was terrified I'd lost you."

"But you didn't." Stepping closer he touched her arm, hoping to bring back some of the passion that they had relived last night. "I'm still here."

"Are you?" she asked him, her eyes already wet with unshed tears.

Michael held onto her hand, squeezing her fingers hoping to reel her back in with understanding words, but he recognized that look in her eyes. She was angry and determined, a combination that he knew all too well.

"Listen, I had a meeting with Raines. MI6 have no jurisdiction where you're concerned. What he's doing is violating your—"

"So, what's he going to do about it?" she asked tightly as she folded her arms across her chest. "Having him following me is distracting."

"He's making some calls—"

"That's it?" she snapped haughtily. "Well, I feel so much better now!"

Michael was fast becoming exasperated. She wasn't making any of this easy for him, but he tried to reason with her anyway.

"I'm trying to help you, Fiona! At least stay here until we can—"

"I have to work," she snapped.

"You don't have to work, Fiona, I can take care of us," he hissed out, his mouth spurring on ahead of his brain.

"You? Take of us?" she laughed humourlessly. "Oh, that's rich coming from you!"

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" he groused, becoming more frustrated by the second when she shot him a furious glare as she surged towards the door.

"I thought you wanted to talk and you're leaving?" He followed her towards the door, his mind in complete turmoil as he moved closer. She was making every effort to ignore him and that just infuriated him more. When she reached for the handle to pull the door open, he felt his heart hammering inside his chest. He couldn't let her leave like this, not after they had come so far.

"You're putting your job before us?" he blurted out before he could stop himself. He meant to point out the irony of the situation, but it wasn't until he felt the burning sting of the slap across his face that he finally realised what he had done.

"You're a bastard," she growled angrily, tears springing to her eyes. "You have put your job before us ever since I've known you and you have the NERVE to say that to me?"

"I'm sorr—" he started to say as he reached for her but she batted his hand away. "Fiona…"

"I've got to go," she managed to say before her anger spilled out onto her cheeks. Turning away from him, she swiped at her eyes angrily as she hurried towards the door again, ignoring his apologies, promising herself that he had hurt her for the very last time…

TBC