Author's Note – We're all mad here!

Chapter Ten

Water, water everywhere –

"So let's all 'ave a drink!" Jack roared and smashed his tankard against that of the unsuspecting man at the table beside him, knocking out a good half of its contents. Before the man's bewildered gaze could shift from his abruptly empty mug to the man responsible, Jack had already merrily downed his drink and was making his way around the Cliffs of Insanity tavern.

"It's a glorious night, i'nt it?" he asked the wearied barmaid and settled himself into a seat at her counter. "Properly glorious." The young woman, though overworked, was amused.

She smiled as she dunked mug after mug into the immense ale barrel. "Why's that, sir? Has fortune smiled on ye?" Jack returned her smile, gold and gleaming.

"Not by half, lass – she's sat in my lap, thrown her arms about my neck, and given me a kiss!"

"Oh, well, that's well to hear. It's a proper night for celebrating, then?"

Despite the maid's unending activity, a glass of iced wine appeared before Jack. His eyes smiled warmly at the girl over its rim as he took a sip, surprising her with his delicacy. "It is at that. Great things are about to happen … great things."

"This is ridiculous!" Will's angry shout smashed through the quiet of the night. "Nothing is going to happen here because we're not getting anywhere!"

He was hunched in a small boat with Dana and Captain Melanie. "Stop it. You're pouting," Melanie said pointedly. "I can tell in the dark."

"You can't tell in the dark."

"I can hear it in your voice." Melanie was cheery. Dana was asleep. "We'll get there eventually. You shouldn't even be awake, Will. The next few days are going to be important for you."

He huffed. "They certainly will be, if we get anywhere. How far away is the island supposed to be?" The little boat that he and his two female companions were in was destined for an island that Jack had only briefly explained to them, entrusting Melanie to fill in his gaps on their trip. But Melanie seemed to enjoy repeating what Will already knew.

"You'll see La Isla de Sueños. Soon." Will heard her open her canteen in the dark and take a swig of water.

"It certainly is taking a long time."

Melanie laughed. "You've been at sea for a day! It takes longer than that. Why are you being such a colossal grump? Dana seems to be taking this all right."

"Dana's asleep! I'm thirsty because you said we aren't allowed anything to eat or drink." He shivered inside his jacket and tried to let the rocking of the boat lull him to sleep. The cold kept cutting in. The sharp wind kept cutting in. And Melanie, beside him, hit him.

"Is that what's got you all worked up? I told you that you're allowed to drink. In fact, it would speed up the process if you did. It's just got to be inebriating, that's all. Why can't you be like Dana? She's not near as excited about this as you are, but she's jumped in with both feet."

"And a beer bottle," Will commented as Dana burped softly in her sleep. He sighed. "I'm nervous, that's all. I've wanted this for a long time."

There came the soft metal tinkle of Melanie's jewelry as she shook her head in the dark. "You're a romantic. Only you would be up at night, nervous about becoming pirate."

"No one's told me what I'm going to have to do!"

"You really want to know? You want me to tell you what you're going to have to do to before you can be a pirate? It's simple."

Will sat up. "Yes!" Melanie shifted, and in the weak light cast by the clouded-over Caribbean moon, faced her friend. She leaned close, as though Dana's sleeping figure might be eavesdropping.

"You've got to prove that you're mad."

Jack was drunk, but that was all right. The evening in Tortuga was young yet, but he had decided to retire back to Melanie's ship and to bed. He had preparations to make before Melanie – and two fresh salts – returned. He walked carefully up the Yellow Dart's gangplank and onto the ship, where some of the crewmembers were still awake, judging by the occasional candlelight that he passed on his way to his cabin.

He opened his cabin door, forgetting for a moment the guest that was inside. The crow screeched at Jack's intrusion and flapped heavily from its perch on the bed's headboard out the door. Jack wasn't concerned – the bird was trained to watch him and so would not stray far.

He wrinkled his nose as he picked black feathers from his blankets and cast about for a candle. He was a guest on the Yellow Dart, and so the drawers of his cabin were empty. He tottered from his room onto the deck, and was about to cross to the crew's quarters to ask for a candle of his own when a feathered commotion caught his wandering attention. Not far from him, the black crow seemed to be engaged in a fight –

With another crow.

"Now, now. What's this about?" he hurried over, vision swimming, and waved his hands at the circling, crying birds. Both caught sight of his glittering rings, and abandoned trying to peck one another to gaze at them. Jack kept his hands moving and looked at each crow in turn. "Now I'll be damned-" he started, "well, more damned, if I can tell which of you belongs t' me and which is an unwelcome caller on my friend's ship. Speak up, now! Who is who?"

Unsurprisingly, neither bird made a move, but Jack was so intent on them that he leapt, startled, when the little waif Carly dropped down from the rigging to the deck beside him. "Evenin' Captain Sparrow," she said shyly. Jack smiled broadly at her and clapped her on her slender back.

"Carly, lass! Just the little monkey I need! I remember that you've a knack with animals, delicious and not-delicious-" Jack either ignored or did not see Carly's eyes grow huge in horror at his flippant remark, "So which of these terrible monsters is mine?" The girl held out her thin brown arm, and the bird nearest Jack alighted on it.

"No this'un," she said, carefully balancing its weight. "The other's yours, Master Sparrow." Jack leaned close to the girl and put his mouth to her ear.

"I wouldn't speak so loudly about that, littlest love," he said confidentially. "A sparrow's a great deal smaller than a carrion seeker large as this." She laughed and looked up at him.

"Don't worry, sir. I'll keep an eye on that bird for you." She turned to leave with the crow on her arm, when Jack experienced a muddled moment of realization.

"What're you doin' with one of these vile birds, Carly?"

She turned abruptly, cheeks scarlet, and surely would have answered if Jack's crow hadn't chosen that moment to swoop at his hands, meaning to snatch away one of his rings. Jack bellowed, and shouted a string of curses at the crow who perched, naturally, at the top of the crow's nest. When he looked back, Carly and her crow were gone.