"Anyone else think that rain on the day of a funeral is really freaking cliché?" Lynn Jr. quietly commented.
"Shhh not now honey," Rita said gently.
The Santiago's had arranged for a black limo to pick up the large family. The Louds
were practically family, and besides, Vanzilla would have stood out like a sore
thumb.
Unlike the time Lincoln had won that yellow limo, this time, no one was excited to be
riding in one.
Lori hadn't even wanted to come, but her mother and father had coaxed her,
assuring her that it could only help.
They had no idea if they were right or not, but they had to try for the sake of their
daughter.
The church was already packed when the family arrived. The Santiago's gently
flagged them down to sit near the front with them.
Without a word the family made their way through the crowd. When Rita and Lynn
Sr. saw Ms. Santiago, they embraced her like they would never let go. They couldn't
even comprehend burying a child. It was a pain that had no name.
"Hi Lori," Carlino whispered.
Lori looked over at him. "What? No, "Lori my beautiful Gazelle", or "the light in my night
sky", or anything like that?"
"No, I figured it wouldn't be appropriate… I'm sorry for you, truly I am," he said
unable to look her in the eyes.
He didn't need to be physically looking at her for him to feel the anger radiating
from her very soul.
"Sorry for ME!? You literally shouldn't feel sorry for me! There's nothing to feel
sorry for! I'm not the one who made the decision to end my life-" Lori was near
breaking down, but Lynn Sr. pulled her into his arms and protectively buried her
face in his suit before she had the chance to shed a tear.
The service passed by in a blur. There was lot's of praying, and Hector and Luna
preformed a rendition of "Tears in Heaven" that would make Eric Clapton proud.
Lori forced herself to ignore the entire thing. She put herself into a dark void where
she wouldn't have to think about anything… mainly because Bobby would be all that
she could possibly think about. She forced herself to think about nothing but the
darkness (years living with Lucy had helped make this easier). Even then, the
occasional thought of her not liking the dark and how Bobby used to protect her
from it would creep in. She quickly shook these thoughts out, and only focused on
physically making it through the day. She convinced herself if she could ignore the
reality for today, then the rest of her life would be a cakewalk.
Soon, it was time for the burial. Lori followed her family out of the church. She felt
like a robot making motions from one place to another. She could have literally been
anywhere, but she wasn't… she was burying her boo-boo bear.
Before she entered the limo to ride to the funeral, Ronnie Anne ran up to her.
"I'm sorry I didn't give this to you sooner, Lori, but…. Bobby would want you to have
this." she said as she handed an envelope to Lori, avoiding eye contact.
Lori knew what was in the envelope… it was Bobby's final note, but that did leave
her a question.
Ronnie Anne quickly sensed this, and knew what it was about.
"He wrote separate ones for us." she whispered as some stray tears fell.
Lori wanted to comfort the poor little girl, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.
All the way to the cemetery, Lori fiddled with the envelope. Part of her didn't want to
read it. She was sure it would just be some too little too late ramblings about how it
wasn't Lori's fault and how she should move on with her life.
As if words written on paper could ever convince her.
Angry as she was, she also knew that she couldn't toss the note. This was her last
piece of Bobby. When this was gone, it would really be the end.
They finally arrived at the burial grounds. Lori lingered around as her family headed
up the hill. Lincoln looked back at his sister, but he knew that she had to make this
decision on her own.
She took a deep breath and slowly opened the letter to read it's contents.