I am SO SLEEPY! I am writing this note at 1am... so excuse me if I make any spelling mistakes. hahah luckily I wrote this chapter during the day so it should be better off. hahah ima go sleep naow... Zzzzzzzzzzz =.=

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It was a funny thing, dying. I had always thought it would hurt. I had always imagined the feel of cold claws on my heart, squeezing and squeezing until all the light in my eyes had been snuffed out. Like a candle or a burning coal. I had been wrong. It was nothing but cold. I was heavy in the sand, face pressed hard against each grain until they clung to the sweat coating my skin. It was salty on my parched lips, stinging in the cuts of my skin, but soft under my body.

The wounds that had once made tears brim in my eyes had numbed to a dull throb. I couldn't feel them anymore. There was nothing but a dull ache to remind me I was even hurt at all. But my skin was so very hot. My vision so very dim. Or perhaps that was just the blinding shadows of the cave. I hadn't a clue. All I knew was I was no longer in agony and it was all that mattered.

Even so- deep in the pit of my stomach something did hurt. Or not so much hurt but tug. It squirmed around inside of me like an enraged animal. It pushed against my ribs, urging me to rise to my feet and fight. At first I had answered its calls. My body writhed on the ground in an effort to take control and push myself from the dust and grime. But I was so weak, and the stone floor was so inviting. The rock was cool against my feverish skin and slowly I found myself give into stillness, my body curled on its side and my eyes unblinking.

So this was death.

It was nothing that I had imagined.

Then again, I had never imagined I would die so young.

I would have liked to say there was so much I had left to do, but in truth there wasn't. I didn't plan on marriage. I wasn't very smooth with girls and most girls didn't care for me anyways. I didn't plan to take up my dad's place as chief. I didn't plan on breaking any records or settling any scores. I didn't need revenge on the dragon that took my leg for he was already dead and gone. There was nothing I wanted to live for. No reason to stay. None but one. No reason expect to see Toothless one more time. To sit on his back and ride into the sky like we did so easily. To be reunited with my best friend just once more. It was as good a dream as any. It was as good a last wish as I could grasp.

But it probably would not be enough to keep me fighting.

My body heaved as I tried to breathe and I coughed droplets of blood into the sand. For the first time since I had arrived in the prison, I was still enough to notice the walls of my cell, stained a terrible bronze and brown color and patched with the inner artwork of prisoners long passed before me. I would not be the first to reside in this cage. I would not be the first to die here.

The men standing outside of my prison talked in hushed voices, eyes occasionally tilting my way. I had so many things to say to them. So many little quips and cracks in response to their eyes. But it was no longer worth the effort. The pure movement of my jaw seemed impossibly exhausting and I focused instead on the light draws of the stale air around me.

I didn't move when the chief entered with his adviser; that hand printed face full of all the rage I did not understand. Sunken eyes locked on me, chewing his gums lightly in thought before speaking much too quickly for my ears to process.

"You fail." The adviser explained, translating for me. "Kill only dragon. Kill many men"

My heart pounded softly against my rib cage. No. I didn't want to hear it. If anything in me still ached at all in pain it was that very thought. That I had killed the dragon. Had I? Had it been my selfishness that had ended him? Or the years of turmoil and unspent afternoons? I felt a sharp tug inside of me and I wished to let it out. But there was no outlet. I had nothing left of me yet the idea that I had been responsible for the murder of such a gentle being was eating me alive.

What had this dragon done to deserve this? To deserve anything? He was just a creature- and perhaps had fate turned in favor of him he would have lived. Perhaps if favor had turned in favor of me I would live too. But fate was not on our side. There was nothing left to hope for. If the dragon had died- maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was just meant to be. Maybe I was a murderer and needed to die.

The dragon had not passed while sitting alone in his prison. He had died while I forced him to fly us to freedom. I had a hand in his death. I would take his blood with me to my grave.

No!

That sharp pang inside me grew louder.

No, Hiccup!

I had not killed the dragon. No. It wasn't me. It was them. It was years of torment and starvation. It was years of what they had dealt me in just a couple of days. I had no hand in his death. That was what I needed to tell myself. What I needed to believe to stay sane. Was the dragon still lying on the forest floor? Would his bones still be there tomorrow or would the eyes of the scavengers I had seen roaming the forest floor take those too?

The dragon would disappear. He would be taken and scattered among animals and beasts. He would be erased completely as if he had never existed. As if he had never lived at all. I would be the only thing that remained of him. I would hold the only memory.

And soon enough, even that would be wiped clean.

It didn't make a difference whose fault it was. He had died and I had been a part of it.

"We no use for you more." He said brokenly, frowning now. The chief backed up, pointing to the cage as the guards put on watch unlatched the newly set bars, drawing blades of sharpened animal bones.

I made no move to fight, eyes wide open and staring at their bare feet when they approached me. There was a hard kick to my stomach when I did not rise to my knees. Another kick when I did not shout in pain. A third kick to prove a point.

But still I made no move. They could beat me as much as they pleased. But there was no way for them to break my any more than they already had.

They grasped onto my arms finally, lifting me so that I was upright, knelt before the chief. My head hung limp, greasy hair creating a curtain in front of my eyes. I could not get Toothless out of my head no matter how hard I tried. I could hear his purr; feel the hard smoothness of his scales. But I was all dried up. I had no more tears to cry. The dry streaks left in the grime of my cheeks were evidence enough. I was spent, a well without rain. And I could only let my heart eat away at my insides to allow the pain an escape.

I'm sorry, Toothless, my friend. But I'm not coming home. You'll have to learn to fly without me.

The chief stepped forward now but I did not see him come. I could only hear his voice and the sharp touch of a blade against my throat lifted my chin. I stared into his sunken eyes, my own dim and lifeless. My eyes never left his even when he dragged the sword down to my chest, aiming for my heart. It was a heart that beat violently in my silence, threatening to burst from my ribs and impale itself on the blade. A heart that echoed the very essence of my pain.

He could have it. It was already broken.

I'm so sorry.

And the blade fell forward.

It is a little bit short I know and I apologize. I work alot more hours during the weekend so I don't have as much time as I did during the week. Of course though I couldn't just leave y'all hanging! Next chapter just needs to be edited! Coming soon!

Much love and hugs!