My childhood friend loves me

Dedicated to: Hana no Uta

"First love is not about being foolish, but being curious"

Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice is not mine. Higuchi tachibana-sama owns it.

Attention: MAY contain OOCness . . . .

Previously:

"Are you alright?" his voice was broken, regretful.

I nodded then asked, "What happened?" in a low voice.

"Nothing. Don't worry," he mumbled as he kissed my hair.

"Natsume," was the last thing I remembered before I passed out.

End of act nine

Act ten: painful realizations

The white surrounding wall was the first thing I saw. Before I knew it, I was in the school's infirmary. I called out for natsume's name several times but nothings came. As I sharpen by blurry vision, I felt someone's hand holding mine fragilely.

I immediately knew that it wasn't natsume's touch. I rapidly shot my eyes open, then sighed after seeing who was, and then smiled.

"Are you all right Ms. Sakura?" the nurse asked.

I eyed her carefully before answering.

She was no ordinary nurse to me she was beautiful.

Her black curled locks which were arranged in the back of her neck by a ponytail were shiny and smooth looking. Her thin curved lips was cherry red and her pale pimple free face, reflected her deep green colored eyes. She made me smile unconsciously.

With a questioning face, I replied "yes. Much better." I paused and look around. Natsume isn't no where to be found.

The nurse who immediately noticed my frantic expression said, "I sent hyuuga-kun back to your class."

She was smiling again but now it's gentler as if her biggest burden was lifted off from her back... I eyed her again then said "oh,"

she stood up then let go of my hand then said "he brought you here because you were unconscious, and that's because you stayed under the sun for a long period of time,"

I didn't said anything in return, I jut sat up and readied myself to leave but then she said "you need to rest Ms.Sakura, and I told hyuuga-kun to go back here after your last class, he'll pick you up later," she smiled.

I relaxed my back again. I heard a gentle voice talking to the nurse. Deep inside me I knew it was familiar but I wasn't able to point it out. I eavesdropped silently then raised a brow. The owner of the voice was looking for me. I heard the nurse ask me if it was okay for her to go out for a while.

Since its their lunch time and I was here, I quickly said "okay then," she then left me in the infirmary, together with the owner of the voice.

"Sakura-san?" I immediately knew that it was ruka after hearing those gentle and calm words. He peeked then smiled. I smiled back half heartedly.

"what is it?" after I replied to him calmly, he walked inside the secluded room then sat by my bedside. He looked guilty and depressed which made me wonder why.

I know that he was here to say his sorry but if he'll tell me anything else that Im not suppose to know what should I do? His calm voice was calling me several times now causing my bubble to blow. I looked at him with such calm eyes then said "hmm?" He looked down then said "Im really sorry. I lost my composure back there sakura-san," he stood up the bowed.

I was astonished to see how highly he thinks of me. I immediately told him to look up and not to be formal but he continued doing what he was already doing.

"That's fine ruka. There really are times that someone loses their composure," I smiled at him. The idea of asking ruka why he hates natsume so much then came into me.

I was silenced.

He looked at me then sat back near me again. He didn't say anything too.

Then out of the blue I asked, "Can I ask you something?" he nodded.

"What happened before? Why don't you like natsume?"

"Because he took away someone who's so important and precious from Me." his voice was scornful yet his eyes didn't reflect that emotion, it was full of sadness.

"Who?" my voice was full of curiosity yet at the same time it felt like after hearing his answer something will change.

"You," it was a fact, a statement yet I wasn't able to get it.

I was puzzled.

He immediately picked up my stiff body language. He stared at me, grabbed my hand, then squeezed it lightly.

Then he said "you. He took you away from me," his tone of voice raised a little as if natsume himself was here.

"What do you mean?" my voice was breaking as I asked him that.

He met my gazed then said "its better for you not to know." His very statement intrigued me so I asked him more about it.

As I asked him for the hundredth time he then said, "Before you met natsume, and got engaged with him. Your family and mine are in good relationship. We were once engaged, but when my mother died and my father here with me, he decided to call the engagement off since the only one who wants it was my mom."

I was waiting for the continuation of his story so I stayed quiet.

He met my gaze then sighed. "-after I heard that from my tutor, I immediately told dad to take his words back but he told me that that matter isn't something to joke about. What's done is done. I felt very upset, that I cannot handle my emotions anymore.They got the best of me and since Im attending the same middle school with you and natsume I decided to start things off there. My plan."

"Hmm..."

"We had a good relationship before but when he told me that I can't confess to you, my feelings went outranged. I cannot handle them and little by little I started hating him. He stole you from me mikan, he stole you from me,"

His gentle looking azure eyes cried for a miracle. I can clearly see through him that he wanted everything back the way it was before. He wanted his mom and me. Everything that happened before I met natsume. Pity filled my heart while looking at him. I never saw this side of him.

The lonely and unloved side of him.

I can see through his very movements that all he wanted to be is to be loved, to feel what its like to be cared and to be scolded at. Even though he didn't say anything about his feelings, I can clearly see right through him that he's longing for someone who'll care and love him.

I stood up carefully. I can feel my knees wobbling yet I forced myself to stand up and comfort him. I walked near him, knelt, and then hugged him. He didn't said anything but I can feel his sadness.

I caressed his silky smooth blond hair then said "Im here ruka. You don't need to keep things onto you. You have problems right? You have worries? Im here ruka, Im here," my voice was turning gentler and gentler by the minute. He hugged me back, tightly and warmly at the same time. The ruka that forced a kiss to me a while ago was gone.

The ruka that Im currently hugging is his true self.

The fragile and unloved one.

"Mikan," that was the first time he called me without any honorifics.

I looked down then he met my gaze he then broke the hug then said "please leave natsume mikan, I can make you happy. I won't hurt you." His sudden offer shocked me. My grip loosened then I stared at him with disbelief. "Leave natsume?" the thought alone was complicated for me.

The thought of leaving natsume tormented me. I, myself cannot imagine a day without natsume. His touch. His presence. His kisses, everything. I can't do that to him. I eyed him carefully. Im currently torn between my pity for him and my feelings for natsume.

For the first time after being with natsume for this long, the thought of breaking up with him to keep my word of promise to ruka came. I started doubting myself if I really am suitable for him. If our love can really survive such shallow obstacles. If…. Yet if I do break up with him, can I manage to see and pass by him every single day? Can I take a good hold of my feelings when I see him with another girl? Can I suppress my feelings for him if I find out that he'll be going out with another girl?

NO.

"Ruka," my voice was firm but deep inside I can feel myself hesitating. He looked up. His attention was fully given to me.

"Im sorry," I reached out for him slowly. I touched his tepid cheeks then hugged him again.

"Im sorry ruka. I can't do that. I know that you said it to me several times how important I am to you but I just can't do that. Im sorry," He didn't said anything.

"Ruka, even though I have natsume with me doesn't mean that I can't have you too. I care for you the same way I care for them. If you need me, Im just here. I'll help you. I'll be by your side whenever you need me,"

"Mikan," his look was filled with agony and it made my feelings sway. I felt bad for the both of us.

"Why can't you be with me? Why can't you stay by my side forever?" his eyes were pleading. I shook my head lightly and slowly then with a sisterly smile, I pulled him closer to me then said,

"I just can't ruka. You, natsume,and all of my friends are important to me. I just can't choose like that. I can't drop them off like that ruka, please understand."

"…"

"-you don't need to worry if your being alone. Im here for you. I'll stay by your side. If you need anyone, Im here for you, Im here," my voice was faint and low almost like a whisper. He hugged back then broke it then stood up.

I stared at him with questioning eyes then while looking down he said"I understand, mikan," I smiled at him then he reached out to help we stand.

He neared his lips on my ears then he said "you'll stay by my side forever right?" his warm breath made my body tingle. "Yeah. Forever."

With that, he left leaving me all flustered and contented at the same time. I went back to my bed almost crawling. My knees didn't support me all the way. all the talking that we did made me feel awkward inside. My heart was still thumping yet it felt very ominous at the same time. it felt like something's bound to happen next time.

The classes were over. I heard the school bell rang three times. Leaving my ears ringing for at least a minute or two. I heard the faint sweet angel like voice of the burse again. She went to me then guided me as I stood up again.

"I passed by hyuuga-kun. He's coming to get you," I simply nodded at her then sat lifelessly on the bed. She stared at me weirdly. I waited for natsume to arrive. I heard his stern voice the moment he walked inside the nurse's office.

"Is she alright?" he kept his composure but I do know that he's dead worried about me. Which made me giggle. I heard his footsteps nearing my bed. I reached for my shoes then put them on but I wasn't able too. I suddenly felt dizzy. He reached out for my shoes then put them on. I was embarrassed.

We both looked like someone who came from a fairytale. He looked up and met my eyes after he helped me fit my shoes.

"Thanks!" I tried putting on my carefree smile.

"You alright?" I nodded. He helped me get up.

We walked hand in hand out from the nurse's office. On the school gate was his bicycle. He told me to hop on and I did slowly. We went through our usual routine but we were silent. We both didn't said a word. I was looking down preventing the blowing summer air to directly hit my eyes. My arms were wrapped around his hips my face was resting against his broad back.

Suddenly, Ruka's offer flashed in my memories.

"I wont hurt you," his voice was ringing inside my pre-occupied head. Natsume stopped pedaling which immediately caught my attention. He looked back then stared at me. Our eyes met yet we didn't said anything.

"Natsume.." I called. His eyes were fierce, dazzling.

"what if.." I was still hesitating "i told you that we should break up?"

The thorn that was stuck in my throat was plucked the moment I sad that yet after looking away then meeting his gaze again I realized that his expression changed.

His eyes became fragile, he held the same eyes that ruka had before.

I was torn apart.

end of act ten

a/n: I was planning to make youichi appear in this act but then again I decided to make his appearance on the next act since this chap is a bit complicated. Beware that the next act's mood will be a different from this one's. youichi wont be the cold rude kid that he was in the series. In here he's going to be a cute five year old, kindergartner. He'll be mikan's precious little brother.

Preview:

Act eleven: my little brother's affection

"nee-chan," I eyes my precious little brother then smiled.

"hmm?" "I told fuka-chan that she's my archenemy. Now she hates me!" he cried.

"who's fuka-chan?" "she's the girl who always wear a glittery pant nee-chan,"

"and?"

"she's one of the girls who runs after boys during recess time.

she kisses them."

"did she kiss you?"

"no. during recess time I don't do anything but to ride the swing. There I look after her."

"hmmm"

Thanks for the review minna-san! I appreciate it!

Janice

Sprinkleheart

hana-pink – that was my very first priority. To make natsume look hot even though he's a geek ) im glad that you like the description!

iloverockandmatel

angelji

konnie

x0x0aIsHiTeRux0x0

kae1523mae

Andye021993

k0nek0

mangaluver123 I

rumi Kanzaki—i know. I do think that he should really give up but I'll give u a hint. He'll give up soon, but there's something that needs to happen first. )

'-MiNi-RAi-'

ami-aim14

xXiceyfireXx-twilight helped me a lot while writing this whole fic. The words and descriptions.. it helped me a dozen of times..

Cutenatsumexmikan

Blue-Winged-Wind

thundra18

angelakawaii

AYUMU10

moonlightprincess08

Youichiix33—"your not allowed to kiss mikan" hee hee, I like ur review. In a way it made me laugh