I own nothing .

The faster we're falling,
We're stopping and stalling.
We're running in circles again
Just as things we're looking up
You said it wasn't good enough.
But still we're trying one more time

Once you get the Dark Mark you can't go back, from there it's a spiraling fall into everything you once worshiped and the only way out is death; which really isn't an option for most of us because we are Death Eaters. After eleven years, everyone began to forget that unforgettably terrifying sensation of falling, of losing yourself, and began to support the old cause again. So four years later, we were back to killing for the purification of the wizarding world because last time wasn't enough and we just have to try one more time.

Maybe we're just trying to hard.
When really it's closer than it is too far

Sometimes, I would wonder why we were following a man who could not defeat a boy but I never said anything because maybe we were all trying too hard to kill Potter when a simple muggle gun would do the trick. However, I didn't really want Potter, my one chance at salvation, to die, so maybe I tried too hard on purpose.

Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.

Originally, I was ecstatic that He had once again arisen but as time progressed I was finding it hard to keep from sinking beneath the surface of who I once was. With each task I completed I found myself losing parts of myself and so I concentrated on my family because they were the ones that kept me afloat instead of going under.

Seems like each time
I'm with you I loose my mind,
Because I'm bending over backwards to relate.
It's one thing to complain
But when you're driving me insane
Well then I think it's time that we took a break.

In the beginning every time I was in His presence I seemed to lose my mind to His ideas of purity and justification. Yet, in the end, I was bending over backwards to relate and while others only complained; I knew that I was being driven insane.

I can't sit back and wonder why.
It took so long for this to die.
And I hate it when you fake it.
You can't hide it you might as well embrace it.
So believe me it's not easy.
It seems that something's telling me,

At the Final Battle I was not allowed to ponder why the death of each student, mudblood or not, sent a pang into my chest because I was too busy wondering why this bloody war was taking so long to end. I killed at least twenty students but Rookwood saw through me and I can still remember his gravelly voice against my ear as he said, "I hate it when you fake your allegiance to the Dark Lord." That was when I realized I could no longer hide my loyalties to the other side and decided to embrace it, believe me it was not an easy task but something was telling me that it was the right thing to do. The only way to vanquish death, so in the end, I suppose you could say that I was and am the ultimate Death Eater.

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