Chapter 10
Fun with Amazons, Part 2: Working Girls
Like clockwork, the girlish scream rang out from the bathroom early in the evening. The girls, who were preparing for dinner, looked up from their work, and dashed to the room.
"HOT! HOT! HOT! COLD! GIMMIE COLD!" They entered the room to see Ranma-chan dousing herself with cold water.
"What's wrong, Ranma?" Kasumi asked.
"That water was boiling! What the hell were you thinking?!" she said, throwing down the pail.
Kasumi dipped her hand in the furo. "But it's barely warm."
"Huh?" Ranma said, walking up to her. "How can you do that? I swear, it was hot as hell!"
"What on earth's wrong with you this time?" Akane said, rolling her eyes.
As if on cue, something burst out of the water, splashing all three girls. Cologne stood there, on her staff, as she stared at Ranma. "Hahaha! From now on, even lukewarm water will scald you like a volcanic boil!"
"Oh my," Kasumi quipped.
"The old ghoul!" Ranma yelled. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm glad you asked, son-in-law! That pressure point I hit you with earlier today makes your whole body as sensitive as a cat's tongue. You won't ever be able to touch even the most lukewarm water ever again!"
"Which means…" Kasumi said.
"Ranma can't become a man in his current state," Akane finished.
"Damn you, old bat!" Ranma yelled, clenching his fists.
"Well, boy? Will you agree to become Shampoo's groom? If you do, I just might allow you to change back…"
"I don't need your help, hag! I'll force you to change me back!" He leapt at the old woman, who promptly leapt aside. The splash in hot water was followed by even more screams.
Max, back in his adult form, casually blocked strikes by the young Kenshiro in dojo. They were each wearing a gi, and both were sweating from the heat and workout they had gone through.
After blocking a final sidekick, Max wiped his head. "Okay, Ken," he said. "That's enough practice for today. Go wash up, then resume your meditation until dinner."
Taking a deep breath, Ken bowed. "Yes, sensei." As he left for the bath, Max sat down. Carlos, who'd been watching, walked over to his friend. "You've been teaching him nothing but basics so far. When are you going to get to training him in Hokuto Shinken?"
"When I feel confident enough in the art myself," Max replied. "I'm still learning it, and, while I can teach him some basic parts of the art, I can't really begin teaching him until I master it myself." He got up to stretch. "Hopefully, that won't be too long. I managed to bring all the books and scrolls back from China. Still, Ken's got a ways to go learning basic martial arts as it is."
"I see. Kasumi's made some tea, if you're interested."
"Sounds good to me," he replied.
"Old hag!" Ranma screamed as she kicked open the door to the building at the address she had read. "Where are you?"
"Ah, groom," the old woman replied, hopping over on her staff to the young martial artist. "Still as full of energy as ever I see. Have you come to become Shampoo's groom?"
"Come off it, old bat," the girl retorted. "I'm here to make you change me back into a boy!"
"Oh, really? And just how do you intend on doing that??
Ranma's words were stuck in her throat at this. She hadn't actually thought of how she could become a man again, and had just rushed over when she had found out where the old woman was staying. "I don't know…" she replied, looking downward. "But I'll find out by getting you to talk!" She launched forward with an attack.
Cologne easily dodged, and, with a tap from her staff, Ranma was sent flying out the door, into a trashcan out front. Dusting herself off, she rushed back inside to find the woman waiting for her. "Relax, groom. There is an easy way for you to become man again. Why, I have it right here with me." Cologne held up a tiny, circular container hanging from her neck, with the words Phoenix Pill printed on it. "This pill can reverse the effects of the Cat-Tongue Shiatsu. With it, you will be able to withstand hot water once more."
A smirk came across Ranma's face. "You just made a big mistake by telling me that just now, old ghoul!" she said. "'Cause I'm just gonna take it from you right now!" Using all his speed, Ranma tried to snatch the pillbox. Still, it wasn't enough, and he was thrown back once again.
"Interesting," Cologne said, hopping out the door to see the redhead crawling out of the trashcan. "Your technique is very reminiscent of one we Amazons use. I wonder where you learned it?"
Ignoring her comment, Ranma stood up slowly, raising her fists again. "We're not done, old hag! C'mon!"
"I'm afraid we are done for today, groom. As you can see, I have customers to attend to, and I can't have you tearing up the place. Come back when you're really ready to fight, or to marry Shampoo." She went back inside, closing the door behind her.
Seething in anger, Ranma kicked a can from the pile of garbage in frustration. "Damn that old mummy! How am I gonna get that pill from her?"
"Maybe you should try something other than a direct, hands-on approach," a female voice came from behind her. Turning around, she saw another girl sitting on the wall. She was about his age, dressed in slacks and a denim jacket, and wore her long, dark blue hair in a ponytail. She leapt down from the wall, and approached Ranma. "You don't seem to know anything other than moving in without warning and attacking," she said. "No strategy at all."
"What do you care?" Ranma said. "And who are you, anyway?"
"Just someone who's been watching you ever since you got involved with that Amazon chick."
The teen's eyes went wide. "How do you know about that?"
"Because when people like that appear virtually anywhere else, you start to notice them sooner or later. Plus, I've been around their kind before."
"Wait a minute," Ranma interjected. "That means you've been to China?"
"Yep."
"And also…does that mean you…"
"Know about the springs? Yeah, that too. I figured you were also that boy when I saw how you acted. But that's not why I'm here."
"Well, then, why are you?"
"I'm here to help you get what you need."
"I don't need your help," the girl retorted. "I don't need any help from anyone, especially a girl!"
"Not my diagnosis," Fumiko said. "Just how do you intend on getting that pill? Busting into the restaurant every day, during business hours? She won't allow that."
"Well, what the hell do you suggest?" the redhead snapped back.
The blue-haired girl smirked before reaching down. "How about this?" she said, handing Ranma a flier. Looking it over, the aqua-transsexual widened her eyes. It showed a picture of a young girl wearing a waitress uniform, with the words WAITRESSES WANTED: WILL PAY WELL printed below.
"Whadd'ya think?" Fumiko said, the smile remaining on her face. "If you can get a job there, you can spend all the time you want figuring out how to get closer to the old crone. Maybe you can grab that thing during work, if you're lucky."
Ranma was left temporarily speechless as she took the flyer. "Hey, yeah," she finally said. "I mean, I'd have to wear a girl's uniform an' all, but it could actually work! I can't believe I never thought of this!" And, with that, she rushed inside. Fumiko shook her head as she listened to the aqua-transsexual demand a job from the old woman inside.
"Not even a 'thank you'?" she said. "I guess he's got an attitude problem. Still, he – er, she's pretty fine. Can't wait to see her in that waitress outfit."
"Damn you, Shen! You've corrupted my students for the last time!" The wasp demon attacked.
"Really? How many 'last times' have there been now? I count at least twelve!"
He had dodged easily. She moved in to strike again. "I won't have you ruining my training sessions and turning my students into human-lovers, you half-breed scum! They should be acting like real youkai, and wiping humans from the face of the earth! Not breeding with them to make walking abominations like you!"
"Is that so?" the hanyou quipped, deflecting a strike, flipping her to the ground. "Judging by how I'm doing, I'd say us 'half-breed scum' have proven to be superior to you old types!" Striking her several times in succession, he watched as her body locked up. "We've got the best of both worlds," he said, lifting her still form up, "while you purist types remain bland and white-bread, never learning anything new or exotic! When are you going to learn," he said, hurling her into a nearby lake, "that purity is overrated!"
She splashed and sunk to the bottom, still unable to move thanks to the body-lock. Taking out a rolled piece of some sort of plant, he put it in his mouth, and lit it with a snap of his fingers. "And not just in terms of blood, either."
"Woah," Max said to himself, waking up in bed. He'd never quite had a dream like that before.
"That was weird."
"Here you go, Ken," Kasumi said, handing the boy a small boxed lunch wrapped in a blue cloth. He happily accepted it before bowing to the elder girl. "Thank you , Nee-san!" he said, heading for the door.
It was Ken's first day of elementary school with the family, and Kasumi had made sure to make him feel right at home the best she could. She smiled as she watched him leave; she had always wanted a younger brother, and was in very high spirits watching her wish become a reality.
"I'm going!" Ken said happily as he threw on his shoes, and stepped out the door. Max looked up from his breakfast to watch the boy go as well. He had noticed how Ken had changed from the serene, lonely child he'd been in China since bringing him to live with the family. Although he doubted the boy was entirely over the loss of Ryuken, he barely showed any signs of sadness. Kasumi had done of good job of making the boy feel at home.
Hearing Ranma come rumbling down the stairs, Max turned to see her female form dashing for the door, a lump of bread clasped in her mouth. Akane followed him shortly.
"Funny, how Ken can get ready for school in half the time you do, son."
"Shove it, Oyaji!" Ranma snapped.
"Whatever," Max said. "I need you to come by the dojo after school to help me train Ken, so be there."
"No can do, old man," Ranma replied, a smile on her face. "I've got plans!"
"Oh, really," Max said, looking up from his food. "What, exactly?"
"I don't see how it's any of your business!" she said, running out the door. Smiling to himself, Max began to wipe his hands off. She must've gotten the job at the Amazon restaurant by now, he thought. I'll have to drop by there sometime, and see how she gets along.
Ranma stood in the Cat Café, wearing the new waitress uniform Cologne had given her. It was a bright, rather skimpy maid-like uniform, with a short skirt and leggings to boot. She'd had yet to wear something this feminine, and was feeling a bit disgruntled.
"Can't believe I have to wear this stupid thing," she pouted to herself.
"Hey, don't be so grumpy," a voice came from behind her. "The job is more than worth it. Plus, I think you look pretty fine in that get-up."
Turning around, the young martial artist was face-to-face with the girl from the day before. She, too, was wearing a waitress uniform.
"You!" she exclaimed, surprised. "What are you doing here, Fu…uh…"
"Fumiko," the girl finished. "I just thought you'd need help getting used to doing this kind of work," she said. "Plus, I could use a little extra cash myself."
"You're doing this for me?" the girl asked, dumbfounded. "Why?"
"Well, not entirely for you, but, yeah, I guess you could say that I'm helping you. I kinda' like you, is all."
Ranma went slightly red in the face, but didn't have time to respond before Cologne called the girls over for work. They went into the kitchen, and were greeted by the old woman and her great-granddaughter.
Upon seeing Ranma, Shampoo narrowed her eyes, and leapt towards her with a kick. "Ranma! I kill!"
Ranma was about to dodge when Fumiko leapt in front of him, blocking the kick. Pulling a jujutsu move, she soon had the purple-haired girl locked in a grapple on the ground. She struggled to break free, but Fumiko just smiled.
"That will be enough," a familiar voice said. "Let her go."
Fumiko did so, and stood next to Ranma, as though ready for another attack.
"Shampoo, you are not to attack Ranma during work hours. Outside of those times, though, she's fair game. Understood?"
"What?" Ranma said, surprised. "You mean, you still haven't told her…"
Cologne simply shook her head, causing Ranma to sigh. "Oh, boy."
Shampoo clearly didn't like the idea of working with her supposed target for the kiss of death, but she grudgingly nodded.
"Good. Now, let's get to work. The dinner rush will be starting soon, and I don't have much time to train you. You'll have to rely on your inherent skill for this."
She headed into the back, and the girls followed her. On the way, Ranma leaned over to Fumiko. "Why'd you stop her? You shouldn't get involved in this."
"Because you're too stuck up to fight back against girls that are trying to kill you, dummy," she replied, smirking at him. "But we'll soon fix that problem, you and I. Come on, let's get to work."
Ranma simply shrugged, and followed her.
Later that evening, the Café was packed with customers. Ranma, despite still being under the Cat's Tongue shiatsu, had managed to learn how to balance several bowls of piping hot ramen across her arms and shoulders, as well as juggle them in attempts to grab the Phoenix Pill from the old ghoul. Still, this didn't stop the occasional accident from happening, and she had to run to a readily-made pool of cold water in the back room each time she spilled the hot stuff on herself.
Fumiko fared a little better, as if she were a natural. She never had an accident with the food, and, with her attitude towards customers, quickly became popular with the crowd. Shampoo tried to compete for her share of attention, but wasn't as successful.
Nabiki had noticed this one day on her way back from school. At first, she didn't even know who the Amazons were, but had gone to talk to the old woman. Although Cologne hadn't told her everything, Nabiki had a decent grasp of the situation. "I never expected to see Ranma dress up like that, though," she said to herself, as she spied the three waitresses through the window. She noticed that Ranma was doing her best to avoid the purple-haired girl, and getting close to the blue-haired girl. "And I wonder who the hell that other girl is. Why is she so close to Ranma? Is she an old friend?" Getting an idea, she smirked to herself. "Hey, I can use this…I'm pretty sure Kuno would love to be introduced to these three waitresses. Hell, all the boys at school. They'll completely forget about Akane." She chuckled to herself before heading home.
"Enjoy your chow mien!" Ranma said, trying her best to impersonate a cute voice. The boy she served to watched her go before tending to his dish.
As soon as she was out of the boy's sight, the smile left her face. "Can't believe I keep doing that…" she groaned. She'd been hit on a number of times by high school and college-age boys, and had to hide her disgust at their flirtatious attitudes. "What a bunch of perverts. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up."
"Maybe you should try a different approach," someone said. Ranma looked up to see Fumiko in front of him, having just delivered a large round of ramens to a group table.
"Whadd'ya mean? All these jerks wanna do is stare at me in this lousy uniform! Look at them, acting so idiotic and childish…"
"Well, what did you expect, with the way you're acting?"
"Huh?" she muttered.
"Look, when you give them their food, you're always talking in that high-pitched, girly voice. Trying to act all cutsey, and such. What reaction do you expect?"
"What are you talking about?" Ranma said, raising an eyebrow. "All waitresses do that. Hell, pretty much all girls do that most of the time!"
"Exactly, and look where it's gotten them. Girls in this country are always talking about how boys are childish, perverted and can't take care of themselves. Still, if you want to garner a mature reaction out of someone, maybe it isn't a good idea to prance around in a frilly dress, talking like a five-year-old, and otherwise acting childish yourself. If you want them to act like men and not boys, first, you have to act like a woman, not a girl."
Ranma paused before responding. "But…I'm a guy."
Rolling her eyes, she said, "Not now, you're not. Just observe." She picked up another order from the counter, and approached a table.
"Here you go! One special deluxe ramen, piping hot and full of trimmings." She placed the bowl in front of the customer, and proceeded to turn around.
"Wait!" the boy said, trying to catch her attention. "You're pretty cute! How 'bout we go out after you're done with work?"
"Hmm?" Fumiko said, turning to glance at him. "What was that? That didn't sound very manly."
"Huh?" The boy blinked. "I asked you if you would-"
"I heard what you said," Fumiko interjected, facing him. "But it didn't sound very enticing. What was with that extra-cheerful attitude and that look on your face?"
"Huh?" the boy said, dumbfounded. "But this is how I talk to all the girls."
"Well, has it gotten you any?"
"What?"
"I said, has it gotten you any dates?"
"Well…no."
"Well, I guess that says it," the girl said. "Talking to all the girls like we're nothing but a bunch of cutsey-wutsey burikko. How flattering. Believe me, boy, I'm too much woman for the likes of you, if all you can handle are the cute, girly types." She turned to walk away.
"Wait!" he called after her. She stopped, and turned to face him. His voice taking on a more mature tone, he spoke again. "Sorry if I sounded like I was treating you like a child. I just thought you might enjoy some company after a long day at work."
"Well, that's very kind of you."
"And I'll admit, even if you do look cute in that uniform, I'm sure you'd look better in something else."
She smiled. "Thanks. You should see me in my Chinese clubbing get-up."
"I'll bet," he responded. "So…how about it?"
"Oh, right," she said. "Sorry, but no."
"Huh?"
"Your offer was nice and all, but I've got plans all through the week. So I'm gonna have to turn you down." She leaned in closer. "By the way, your dish is getting cold. I'd advise starting on it now. Ja ne!"
She left the dumbfounded boy at his seat as she returned to Ranma, who was watching with a slight look of awe on her face. "See? They won't act so weird if you don't. Get the picture?"
"Yeah, but…you still turned him down."
"Who said we have to accept dates or anything? This makes it more fun. Anyway, you'd better figure out your strategy for turning guys down, 'cause there's gonna be a lot of 'em in here soon enough. Business'll be booming."
"What makes you so sure about that?"
"Oh, trust me," she said, winking at him. "I took care of it."
Nabiki stared in shock as she stood in the halls of Furinkan. All over the walls, as far as she could see, were flyers. They literally wallpapered the walls and lockers, with many others in piles on the floor. Snatching one off the wall, she looked it over: it was an ad for the Cat Café, with the three girls were plastered over it; Ranma in the center, with Shampoo and the other girl on either side. All three were giving the viewer some sort of seductive gaze, promising a service that would send boys flocking to the establishment, regardless of whether that service would actually be fulfilled or not.
Nabiki crumpled the flyer in her hands, throwing it at the wall. No one would be willing to pay for information that would be displayed all over school. And, sure enough, boys were crowding around, each grabbing a flyer, and talking about stopping by on the way home. "Who the hell could've done this?" she said to herself. "It's as if they were reading my mind!" A thought came to her, and she sighed angrily. "It's Ranma's old man, of course," she said, walking away. "Damn him. I have a feeling he's trying to undermine my personal business. I'll have to keep a watch on him."
It had been a long day for Max. He actually hadn't even bothered with going to check up on Ranma at her new job, instead going over business plans with Carlos and Mordecai. At dinner, Nabiki had been giving him a sort of look, and, when the rest had left the table, made an off remark about school and flyers involving Ranma and Shampoo. Max didn't know what she was talking about, but assumed he would find out eventually, whatever it was.
For some reason, Ranma hadn't come home that night, and hadn't given a reason for staying out. Max wasn't really worried, knowing the kid could handle a lot on his own. Plus, it meant he'd get the room to himself tonight. Rolling up in his futon, he fell into a deep snooze.
"Okay…", the Chinese hanyou said to himself as he stared at the rather odd looking group of demons in front of him. Their appearance was strange, to say the least: flimsy green bodies with beady eyes, and slits for a nose. They also had webbed hands and feet, and wore only loincloths. "The welcoming committee sure is…more amphibious than usual…"
These things, whatever they were, had ambushed him when he began searching a cave. He was investigating the disappearance of several young girls in the area, a phenomenon for which he had been largely blamed, with no help coming from Kikyou. Shen was out to clear things up, and had been led here.
"If this is some sort of a bathhouse retreat or whatever for you guys, I'm sorry…anyway, unless you know the whereabouts of about two dozen young Japanese village girls, I'm gonna have to ask you to move on-"
"Gru heh heh…" a low voice cackled. "Seize him, my children!"
On cue, the green men advanced, leaping at the hanyou, and latching onto him. Shen immediately felt the gooey residue their bodies left behind. "Eww, okay, okay! There's no need for this- oh god, the sloughing!" He threw the one on his back off, and moved to strike. "Okay, juniors, have a nice dose of the art of the Big Dipp-"
He struck one of the youkai with a Hokuto Shinken technique, but, instead of a pressure point, felt only a sticky, gooey sensation as his hand literally dug into the beast. "Okay, that's just wrong," he said, pulling his smelly residue-covered hand out. Turning to another behind him, he readied a kick. "Well, how about this- ewww!"
He had landed the kick in what looked like the things' abdomen, and it had gotten stuck in the elastic, fluid-filled body. "Okay, you guys don't even have bones, do you?" Trying to balance on one leg, he was immediately tackled to the ground by the others. Finding it hard to break free or fling them off with their bodies, he watched as the user of the previous voice approached.
"Gru heh…very good, my children." It looked like a large, bulky youkai wearing an old kimono. It's head, however, was wrapped in white cloth. "I finally have the accursed fighting hanyou Du Shen in my grasp."
"Whatever, pal," Shen replied. The green henchmen pulled him to his feet. "You too cowardly to send a challenge like all the other uptight retards I've pissed off?"
"Silence, fool! You may be strong, but you are at the mercy of my children! I know you've been pursuing my newly-acquired young ladies…don't think I'll just hand them over!"
"So it was you," he said. "And I never expected you guys to hand them over. I usually do the work. So, if you'd just unmask yourself so we can get this over with…"
"Very well, hanyou," the demon said. Its' head began to grow bigger under the wrapping. "Gaze upon the face of the mighty Tsukumo no Gama!" The wrapping burst off, revealing the head of what looked like a large frog demon.
Shen was speechless, and not in the awed way. A goofy smile formed on his face. "Tsukumo…heh heh…ha ha ha!" He fell to his knees. "Bwaaaaaahhhhh!"
The frog demon, apparently expecting his captive to cower in terror, was dumbfounded by the reaction. "Oy…what are you doing-"
Shen was on all fours now, laughing uncontrollably as he pointed at the demon. "GIANT FROG! BWAAAHAHAHAHAH!"
"I am the fearsome, powerful Tsukumo no Gama! You should be cowering in dreaded fear-"
Amongst Shen's continued laughing, he noticed that the two green henchmen who'd been restraining him were beginning to chuckle to themselves. "Hey!" he yelled. "I don't want to hear a single croak of laughter from you two!"
"THE—FROG—SAID—CROAK! HAHAHA!!!"
Enraged, Tsukumo no Gama stood up straight. "That's it! Hold him down!" The green youkai all swarmed on Shen, pulling him to the ground. The frog demons' face began to enlarge before he let out a blast of miasma that engulfed them all. "Once I've killed Du Shen, I'll be the most feared and respected youkai in the land!" The sound of several bodies being knocked to the ground made his evil grin fade. "What?"
As the miasma cleared, he saw Shen standing over the bodies of all his henchmen, rubbing his hand together. "Idiot," he said. "Just because the miasma won't hurt them doesn't mean it won't cloud their senses. By the way, I got used to it long ago. It's nothing but child's play for me." He looked at his hands. "Though, it still doesn't do anything about this stupid goop all over me." He took up a fighting stance. "I guess you're gonna have to pay for that."
"Die!" the frog demon yelled, shooting its long tongue at him. Shen smacked it aside, and rushed in to attack. "Let's pound through that flabby body of yours! Hokuto Jyuzahan!" He delivered a volley of kicks to the demon before striking with a couple of chops. Tsukumo no Gama froze up, and collapsed. However, while badly hurt, it began moving again.
"Fool," he said. "It will take more than your techniques to kill me! My body is nothing but a shell anyway!"
That's right, Shen thought. His vital points would be all but impossible to find this way. I've gotta find another way to deal with this douche. He took off running deeper into the cave, dodging the demon's extending tongue. He had to come to a skidding stop to keep himself from falling into a pond of water near the back. What the hell is this doing here…hey, that's it!
Bringing his hands together, he began to concentrate his chi, forming an intense heat. The ball of chi in his hand grew bigger and brighter, until it reached the level he wanted, and hurled it into the pond. A few seconds later, the whole body of water began to boil, with steam pouring up into the air.
Any second now… he thought. Sure enough, a cry of anger sounded further down the cave as the frog demon approached. "You've caused me enough trouble, Shen!" he cackled. "But it will be worth it for me to kill you! I'll be the most feared demon in all the land, the one who killed the detested hanyou Du Shen! I'll be worshipped and respected by even the most powerful demons! I'll practically become a god!"
"When you're done congratulating yourself ahead of time, it's your move," Shen quipped.
Tsukumo no Gama launched his long tongue at the half-demon martial artist. Shen caught it in his hands as it streaked past him, and, with a smirk that garnered a look of shock from the frog demon, swung him by his tongue into the pond of boiling water. The demon screamed in agony as his body was scalded beyond recognition. As the body began to die, Shen noticed the ghostly form of a frog rise up from it, and hover in the air. He cracked his knuckles. "Well…not so tough without your ugly, flabby form, are you- hey!"
The frog spirit retreated into a hole in the roof of the cave, disappearing from sight. "Shit," Shen said, dropping his hands. "Hate it when they pull those little escapes. Well, I'll get him next time." Looking down into the pond, which had cooled off from his chi blast, he noticed something. Deep in the water were what looked like several giant frog eggs; only, inside them were the nude forms of several young human girls.
"Yikes," he said to himself. "Everything this guy touches is just plain wrong. Well, better get 'em out of there…"
"Halt!" a voice called from the other end of the cave. Recognizing the voice, Shen turned to see a familiar miko standing about ten feet from him, an arrow poised and ready to fire. "Back away from the pond. You won't be touching those girls."
Shen sighed, shaking his head. "Well, sorry for saving them from a fate worse than death. Am I even gonna get a 'thank you' for all my troubles, or will you simply take the credit for a problem I solved?"
"Silence! I never asked you to help me out. I've been searching for the missing girls for two weeks. You only started yesterday!"
"Yeah. And I still beat you to 'em. What's that say, huh?"
"SHUT UP! I'm sick of you always interfering with my work. If I find you in my way again, I won't hesitate to use my Hama no Ya on you."
"Hey, it's time you got over your stupid prejudices and accepted my help. I don't like to brag, but I'm better at this than you. I know how demons think and work."
"Really," the miko said, not breaking her glare. "Did you destroy the Tsukumo no Gama's spirit?"
Shen opened his mouth, hesitated, and then groaned.
"Pitiful," she said. "He'll no doubt be back to harm innocent women once again. It seems you don't so much care about human life as you enjoy killing demons."
"So this is the thanks I get for busting my ass, getting covered in frog goop, and nearly laughing my self to death while saving those village girls? The people say that you're kind; maybe they'd like to know the awful truth about you."
"What they need to know is that pathetic hanyou such as yourself are the enemies of society. The monks and I raise our pupils to be pure, honest, and free of earthly desires; you try to corrupt them with your filthy practices."
"I took a few homely Buddhist prodigies out to gamble and get laid, so what? They need a little excitement in their lives, and they sure as hell aren't getting it from the likes of you."
"Enough! I tire of this. Be gone, or I will strike you down with my purifying arrow!"
"All right, fine. Yeesh." He began to walk away, the priestess keeping her arrow trained on him the whole time. As he passed her, he slowed down.
"You wanna know what the difference between you and me is?"
"What?" she replied with contempt.
"People may respect you, and call you kind; but they're afraid of you. They can't really see you as one of them. Me, on the other hand, they can relate to. They like me, because I show them a good time as well as protect them. Trying to hide behind your ridiculous façade of purity won't help you."
"Be gone."
Shen exited the cave, stretching his arms. "Man, what a bitch."
Max woke up, dumbfounded by the latest dream. This was the second time he had dreamed of Du Shen, and this one didn't make any real sense.
"Okay that definitely wasn't right." Remembering the demon from the dream, a light went off in his mind. "What the hell was Kikyou doing there? What was Shen even doing in Japan?"
None of it made sense. Max was at a loss at how to summarize it all, until he remembered the woman he had encountered at Dr. Tofu's place.
"No way," he said. "But, crazier things have happened." Thinking for a bit longer, he made up his mind. "Only one way to find out."
Kikyou sighed as she drank a small cup of tea at a local café. She'd just finished her latest session, and, since she had a while before her next one, was going to return to the Sengoku Jidai. She only hoped the medicine she'd received would be helpful in handling her stress.
She was still thinking about the person she had met at the doctor's office, and the scar on his chest. How could another person have that exact same scar? She didn't want to believe that that person could still be around. They told me he died years after I died. Is it possible that he…could have been reincarnated? She shuddered. Why would an uncouth beast such as him be brought back to life in any shape or form? Brushing it off, she finished her tea.
Leaving the shop, she boarded a train, heading to a different district of Tokyo. She failed to notice, however, that she was being followed.
After getting off the train, she took a bus to her final destination, stopping at a high staircase that led to a shrine. She began to ascend the stairs, still not noticing the person far behind her.
Max had guessed that she would come here, but couldn't be sure at first. So, he had snuck into the doctor's office to find out who had prescribed her the medicine, and looked up where the psychiatrist worked. From there, he had simply followed her after her latest appointment.
By the time he had reached the top of the staircase, Max couldn't see Kikyou. Shit, he thought. Did I lose her? However, she appeared from behind the shrine, and Max ducked further down the staircase to avoid being seen. Peeking his head out, he could see that she had changed from her modern clothing into her miko outfit. He watched her enter the shed that housed the well Kagome and Inuyasha used to travel between the time periods.
Slowly and quietly making his way closer, Max got just close enough to notice a flash of light coming from the shed. Entering it, he saw the well he had seen in the pages of the titular manga. Shrugging to himself, he leapt into the well.
A flash of light later, he was floating in mid-air, surrounded by darkness. A few seconds later, he dropped to the ground. Looking up, he saw the opening of the well. Leaping out of it, he landed on the ground, and got a glimpse of the forest of the past.
He began to walk around, taking in the scenery. Just like in the manga, he thought. That tree must be around here, too. Sure enough, the Goshinboku tree was just around the corner. He walked up to the enormous tree, eyeing the spot where Inuyasha had been sealed.
Cool, he thought. Multiple anime making up one universe. I wonder what others there are?
An odd, tingling sensation on his neck drew his attention away from the tree. Smacking at the disturbance, he felt his hand crush something. Pulling it away, he found another familiar face sitting right tin his hand.
The tiny flea puffed himself full of air before shaking himself off. "Ah, sorry about that, but I needed some blood…and yours is very tasty, sir." He looked up at Max. "I hope you can…" His eyes slowly went wide.
"Huh? Is that you, Du Shen-sama?" he exclaimed. "But that's not possible! You died more than fifteen years ago! Er, but then again, so did Inuyasha-sama and that young miko woman…and they're somehow back from the dead…you do look extraordinarily like him, though…I'm afraid I don't know what to think a the moment…" he said, fidgeting.
Max smiled. "Hello, Myoga."
"Huh?" he said in shock. "You know me? Then who else could you be?"
"No, you're right. Well, kind of, anyway." He used one hand to unbutton his shirt, revealing his seven-pointed scar. "Is this what you were thinking of?"
The flea's eyes widened again. "The scar of Hokuto…it is you! Du Shen-sama!" He hopped up to Max's chest, attempting some sort of a hug. "How did you come back? Were you not really dead? Or were you possibly reincarnated?"
"Well," Max said, scratching his head. "I'm not exactly sure. In fact, I'm not sure I'm this Du Shen guy, either."
"What do you mean, Du Shen-sama?"
"I told you, I don't know if I'm him or not. I've just been seeing his memories in my dreams, recently."
"Hmm. It could be that many of your memories were left behind when you were reincarnated. But you must be Shen! You look just like him, and that scar is too much to be a coincidence!"
"Again, I'm not sure," Max said. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Still, I would like to know why I'm having these dreams, or if there's anything I can do about them."
Myoga hopped back into Max's hand. "I'm afraid this is not my field of expertise, Du Shen-sama. However, there's someone who might be able to help you. I'm not sure if you remember him, but he was your dear friend when you were alive. Come with me, and we'll see what he thinks!" The flea hopped to the ground, and began hopping further down a trail. Max shrugged, and followed him.
In a cave of bone and rock in the vicinity of an active volcano, Totosai blew another blast of flame on the horseshoe he was making for his ox before smacking it with a small hammer. He repeatedly tapped at it as he held it over a large stone platform.
"Pretty good," he said, holding it up to his face, "but still needs more work."
"Oy! Totosai-san!" a voice came from outside his tiny cave.
"Huh? Visitors?" The blacksmith turned to see who it was. "Ah, Myoga," he said, eyeing the flea. "And who's your friend?" he asked, looking at Max.
"You won't believe it, Totosai-san! It's Du Shen-sama! He's back from the dead!" the flea happily exclaimed, hopping up and down.
"Aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself?" Max quipped.
"Du Shen?" Totosai said, looking at the boy more closely. "That's not possible. He died years ago."
"I honestly believe he has been brought back to us through reincarnation!" Myoga replied. "You remember that Inuyasha and Kikyou are now back among us. How is it any less possible for Du Shen-sama to be back? And besides, he looks just like him! And he has the seven-pointed scar as well!"
Totosai stood up to get a better view of the scar, which was still visible thanks to Max's open shirt. He stared at it for a long time, though his expression did not change. "Yes, you are very reminiscent of Du Shen…however, do you remember anything that would confirm it?" he asked.
"Er…no, I guess," Max said, uneasy. "I've just been having these dreams of the guy, is all. I've been learning the art he practiced, and I learned a bit about the guy when I was in China, but, other than that, I don't know much."
"That's why we've come, Totosai-san. "If I remember correctly, you used to dabble in alchemy and the like. You once made elixirs for various uses. By any chance did those include something to help with one's memory?"
Putting his hand on his chin, Totosai continued to look at Max as he thought. "Well, I'm still not sure if I believe that you're truly Du Shen," he said. "That scar is certainly uncanny, though. And it just so happens I did once try to concoct an elixir that could help one regain their memory. However, it's never really been successful each time I tried it."
"We're asking you to try once again, Totosai. We have to know for sure whether this lad is Du Shen's reincarnation."
Thinking for a bit longer, the blacksmith finally nodded. "Very well," he said. "I shall try one more time. However, I cannot guarantee its success. In fact, it may have side effects!"
"Like what?" Max said.
"Oh, occasional headaches, a cloudy mind from time to time; nothing too serious. Still, do you want to try it?"
Max sighed. "Well, I don't want to keep having these dreams like this. I guess I'll try it."
"Al right then. It will take me time to gather the needed ingredients and concoct the elixir, so find something to do for a bit!" He walked off to a small chamber in the cave, and set to work.
While Totosai worked on making the elixir, Max spent most of his time talking to Myoga, who had a lot of questions. Max recounted his dreams to the flea, who seemed to recall some of the events himself.
"Ah, so that's how you took care of the Tsukumo no Gama. I always knew you were the one that did it."
"Whadd'ya mean by that?"
"Kikyou always claimed she killed it and saved the girls. As far as I can recall, she never mentioned you. Then again, she never liked you from the start."
Max sighed before Totosai appeared before them, holding a ceramic teacup with steam rising from the brownish-green liquid inside. "Here, drink this. If it works, it will clear your mind of all that blocks your memories."
Max took the cup, and got a whiff of the fumes. Pulling the cup away, he coughed. "Yikes. What's in this, livers?"
"Of course not. There's some oxen blood, but it's mostly minerals. Go ahead, it's mostly harmless."
Mostly? Max thought. Still, he saw no other way to explain the dreams, and downed the whole thing in one gulp. It tasted horrible, but he didn't spit any of it up. Slowly, he began to feel drowsy. "Hey…what's this? I feel…kind'a…"
He fell to the ground, drifting into sleep. Myoga became ecstatic. "What happened, Totosai-sama? Is he all right?"
"He'll be fine," the blacksmith replied. "The elixir is doing its work. When he wakes up, he should have a clearer memory of his past. If he's the real Du Shen, that is."
"I see," the flea said. "Well, let's get him to rest."
Max was dreaming again. It was the same when he had dreamed before; he was looking through the eyes of the Chinese hanyou he'd learned so much about in the past week. He knew, because he was pounding the living bejeezus out of a demon that looked like a dragon-rooster hybrid, and finished it off with the trademark Hyakuretsu attack. Then, like a movie jump cut, it was followed by another dream; this one had him gambling with a group of samurai in a game of dice. Another one had him getting intimate with a human female, while another saw him fighting off a rather notable demon sporting a fur coat.
Dream after dream, memory after memory flowed back into Max's mind. He was suddenly aware of these events, and recalled them as if they had happened to him. He was remembering being Du Shen. Not only that, but an extensive knowledge of Hokuto Shinken also flooded his brain, answering several questions and filling several empty spaces for techniques he'd been struggling to master. The feeling was wonderful.
With a sudden jolt of energy, Max bolted awake from his not-so-peaceful slumber. Breathing heavily, he found he was lying on a futon, with both Myoga and Totosai sitting before him. Sitting up, he calmed his breathing, and smiled.
"Is it really you? Du Shen-sama?"
"I thought I told you to stop calling me that," Max replied. "Just my name will be fine. I don't like honorifics."
"It is you!" the flea said, hopping up and down.
"Haven't seen you two in a while," the reincarnated hanyou said. "It's great to be back."
Over the next two hours, the three caught up on old times while helping themselves to some of Totosai's hot sake.
"Ah, yes! So it was you who defaced the sacred sutras of the Tengu tribe!" Totosai laughed. "I should have known!"
"Well, a few mushrooms and herbs'll do that to ya'. Plus, they shouldn't have been bothering that human village at the foot of their mountain."
"And don't forget the time you killed that rampaging dragon demon that had made it's way into Musashi's domain! That was a hell of a fight!"
"Kikyou didn't think so," Max replied. "She was just mad that his brains and innards were splattered all over her shrine and the crops."
"Yes, but, if you ask me, in retrospect, it made good fertilizer," Myoga said. "That fight came when their yields were almost nothing. The following year, they had a splendid harvest!"
"That's what I'd been trying to tell her. But, being the stuck-up bitch she is, she just wouldn't listen."
"You don't have to be so harsh towards her, Du Shen-sama. She was just looking out for her people. Still, she could have been more appreciative, I guess."
"Well, at least Inuyasha came to help me in that fight. He even defended me when Kikyou blew up after the incident."
"Ha, I never understood why, but he always liked you," Myoga said. "Maybe it was the fact that you're both half-demons, and loved a good fight."
"That, and I provided a decent alternative to the uptight lifestyle of his girlfriend," Max said, taking another swig. "Anyway, how're those two doing right now? I hear they're back among the living."
"Well, Inuyasha's doing okay, I suppose," the flea said, pondering to himself. "He's wielding that sword of his pretty nicely."
"Is he?" Totosai interjected. "I'll have to see that for myself before I decide to let him keep it."
"But Kikyou, well…let's just say that their reunion wasn't a happy one. I wonder if they'll ever be able to reconcile. Inuyasha-sama has gained new friends, but Kikyou remains as lonely as ever, snatching up souls just to keep herself in earthly form…"
"Really," Max said, eyeing the flea. "And she still calls herself the moral one?"
"You'd best not be going to find her, Du Shen-sama. I doubt she'd be pleased to know you're back."
"Ha! I'd worry more about what Sesshomaru would have to say!" the blacksmith piped, taking another swig of sake.
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me he's still pissed about that," Max groaned.
"Have you ever known him to be the type to drop a grudge?" Myoga said.
"Yeah, but it was so long ago. Like, what – 70 years?"
"73, by my count. Still, not a hundred, nor a thousand years will be long enough for him to forget such a degradation."
"A laxative potion and a few freaky mushrooms count as a degradation?"
"They do when he's fighting one of his father's oldest enemies," Myoga said.
"In front of a proud native demon tribe, no less," Totosai added.
"All right, I get it! Still, I think he looked pretty good in that make-up."
"His face was all the more terrifying when he finally came to his senses," quipped the flea.
"Yeah," Max laughed. "Anyway, it's been a while since we've all had a little fun together-"
A voice interrupted them. "Oi! Totosai!" A large, wolf-like demon dressed in armor walked up the volcano, appearing in front of the group. "I need some work on a blade of mine! I bent it in a scuffle with a lizard demon-" He stopped in his tracks when he saw the others. "Oh, you have clients already…wait a moment…" He noticed the human next to Totosai. "Holy…it can't be!"
"Ah! Royakan!" Myoga said, hopping up and down. "Good to see you again!" He hopped up to the wolf demon. "You won't believe it! Du Shen-sama is back among the living!"
Royakan gazed closer at Max, inspecting the scar on his chest. "That's not possible!" he said. "You died long ago! How can you be back?"
"It's good to see you too, Royakan," Max said, smiling. "Sorry to scare you like this, but I'm back."
The demon smiled a toothy smile. "That's wonderful, sir! How did you come back?"
"He's been reincarnated, Royakan! In the time to come, no less! Just like Kikyou!"
"I was just talking about how we hadn't had fun together in a while," Max said. "So, I wanted to suggest we have a little fun tonight." He pulled a metal flask from his pocket. "Totosai; do you still have any of those special minerals and mushrooms you used to make all the time?"
"Oh, you mean those ones? Why yes, I believe I do."
"Well go get them. I've got plans for them."
Totosai did so, and Max mixed them with the liquor from his flask, and poured it into three cups, and a small sake sipper for Myoga. The four of them held their cups.
"A toast," Max said, "to hedonism. For all its faults, it gives us the time of our lives. And sticks it to those uptight jerks we don't like!"
They all laughed, and drank. "Now let's go out and have a night on the land!" Myoga said, throwing his cup aside. The other three cheered in agreement.
Kikyou walked through the forest in the dark of night, her soul collector demons swarming around her. Each of them was bringing her a new soul of a young woman to help her maintain herself. She was back in the feudal era, where she belonged, and felt a little more comfortable.
She'd passed by her old domain and to talk to her sister. Although she didn't dare mention that she was traveling between the worlds, she asked if she had noticed anything suspicious lately. Her sister hadn't, so Kikyou had gone on her way, searching for yet another village to lay low in as she sought information on Naraku and collected souls.
She wondered if she had been worrying about nothing. The person had looked similar, and had a scar. There was nothing else to suggest that he was the accursed hanyou from her past. Still, she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling.
She was glad she had brought the modern medicine with her. Her tasks were tough enough as it were.
As morning came, the sun rose over the horizon. It came to shine on three characters sprawled out across the ground in the middle of a Buddhist temple. They were surrounded by various sake bottles, discarded garments, and truffles of garbage.
When the sun hit his eyes, Max finally woke up. He immediately clutched his head.
"Ow! Oh, man, that hurts…geez, how much did I drink again?"
Looking around, he noticed the surrounding clutter, as well as their current location. The temple, if it could still be called one, was in utter ruins. In addition to the mess, there was graffiti and scroll paper all over the walls and statues.
"Like I had to ask." He heard another groan to his left. "Myoga? You awake?"
"Is that you, Du Shen-sama?" the flea asked, rubbing his head. "I feel absolutely terrible. I shouldn't have had all that sake, or those other things you brought back…"
"Don't worry. You'll be fine, eventually-" He stopped in mid-sentence when he noticed something about Myoga. He was about ten times larger than usual, around the size of a football. "Forget alcohol. How much blood did you suck last night?"
"Huh?" the flea said. "Oh, that. It will be hard to move like this. Give me a minute..." And, like a nasty enema, he expelled all the excess blood from his body through his mouth, which ended up in a bad-smelling puddle on the ground. He shrank back to his normal size in the process.
"Okay, I'm this close to puking again," Max said, holding his hand over his mouth. "Where're the others?"
He turned around, and saw Royakan laying facedown in the rock garden of the temple. There was something struggling under his enormous form. "What the…" Max said, struggling to stand up, and approach the wolf demon. Moving slowly and carefully, he lifted up the unconscious demon's body, and saw what it was: Royakan was clutching a small tanuki, which was struggling for dear life.
"Holy…where the hell did you come from?" He pried the animal from Royakan's hands, and it ran off wailing, out of the temple.
"Okay, that was just weird. Hey, Royakan, buddy! Wake up!" he said, shaking him.
The large demon slowly opened his eyes. "Huh? Myoga? Du Shen? Totosai…oh my, my head hurts!" He clutched his temple.
"That makes three of us," Max said. "Now we just need to wake up Totosai, and…"
He remained silent as he looked around. The blacksmith was nowhere to be seen.
"Oi! Totosai!" Max yelled, holding his hands to his mouth. "Where the hell could he be?"
"I don't know, Du Shen-sama. Last I remember, he was with us."
"How log ago do you remember?" Max asked.
Myoga stared at him blankly before scratching his head. "You know what? I'm not sure."
"What the hell happened last night?" Max said, clutching his head of ruffled hair.
"Oh boy, I wish I could remember," Royakan said, slowly standing up. "I've got this nasty taste in my mouth, too." He began wiping his teeth, when he noticed something, to his shock. "Am…am I missing a fang?"
"Huh?" Max and Myoga turned around. Sure enough, one of his two largest fangs was indeed missing. All that remained was a nasty socket.
"Oh, man, that's weak," Max said. "Chipped clean off, too." Myoga hopped onto his shoulder, and he got a closer look at the flea. "Myoga…why are you black?"
"What?" he asked.
"What are you covered in? Soot?"
Myoga inspected himself. "Oh, dear! Looks like you're right. My head hurt so bad, I didn't notice 'till now!"
"Why would you? You look as ridiculous as always." He laughed.
"Well, you don't look much better, Du Shen-sama."
"What?" Max said. Walking over to the pond, which was barely reflective due to being polluted, he looked at himself. Not only was his hair slightly burnt, but there was a kanji character written on his forehead. No, it was-
"Is that…carved into my forehead?!" Max said in shock. He tried to touch it, then recoiled. "Ow! Still hurts!"
"Well, I can only wonder how any of this happened. I mean, just how did I get covered in soot?" Myoga asked.
"Totosai must have been having some fun," Royakan said. "Speaking of which, where is he?"
"Good question." Max sighed. "Great. Just great. We don't remember anything about last night, we're all a complete mess, and, to top it off, we've lost Totosai."
"Perhaps we should go looking for him?"
"Yeah, probably; before the keeper of this temple sees what we've done to it, anyway." Max took a few steps before he heard a crumpling sound under his feet. Looking down, his eyes went wide.
"A beer can?" Indeed, it was. "How can that be?" After a thought, it came to him. "No way…we didn't…"
"What's wrong, Du Shen-sama?"
Max sighed a long, deep sigh. "Guys, I think we covered a lot more ground than just the countryside. Anyway, let just go. The sooner we find Totosai, the better."
About two hours of walking later, they were getting closer to Musashi's domain. They had been following the long trail of destruction and debauchery left over from last night. Most the people they had come across, however, had run away screaming; the exceptions were a few farmers who remembered drinking with them, some brothel girls who called out to them, and a group of thugs who claimed they owed them gambling losses.
As they continued, Max noticed more items from the modern era lying on the ground; liquor bottles, clothes, porn magazines, even broken electronics. He stopped the group when they came across two long streaks in the earth that stretched out for miles.
"What the hell are these things? Tire tracks?" he asked himself.
"Maybe we hijacked a wagon and went for a joyride," Myoga said.
"These look too wide for that…"
"Hey, guys! Over here!" Royakan yelled from over a small hill. Running to the top, Max and Myoga found a rather interesting sight.
All around the hill were enormous cracks in the earth, as if a small earthquake had taken place. Only the cracks were filled in with a dark gray stone matter.
"That looks kinda' like…"
"Cooled magma!" Myoga finished for him. "Totosai was here, all right."
"I found his hammer!" they heard Royakan say. Looking over, they saw him holding it up for them to see. "As well as these," he said, pointing to a bunch of crudely carved stone statues. All of them looked like Totosai, though each one had a different expression.
"He must've gone on a smelting spree, or something," Max said. Inspecting the statues closer, he chuckled. "What is he now, a post-modern artist?"
"I found something else as well, Du Shen-sama," Royakan added, holding up a staff. It had two heads at the top, on either side.
"I think I've seen that staff before, somewhere," Max said, trailing off. "Anyway, let's follow these tracks, whatever, they are. Bring both of those with you, Royakan."
"Yes, sir."
They continued for a while, following the tracks, until they came to a sight that made the young martial artist's jaw drop.
"I don't even wanna know how we brought that back here," Max said.
Before them, parked right through a wall of a Shinto shrine, was an honest-to-god, red 1969 Dodge Charger. To add insult to injury, all the windows were broken, and nasty signs were tagged all over the hull. The group walked up to inspect the battered machine.
"What's this, Du Shen-sama?" Myoga asked.
"A modern vehicle. One that runs on petroleum," he answered. "Looks like we did have a joyride, boys. Just not in a lousy wagon." Hearing noises from inside, he poked his head through a window crack. "Totosai?"
It wasn't the blacksmith. What it was, however, made him cringe. "Oh, crap…"
Sitting in the dirty, soiled backseat of the charger was a small infant in a baby car seat. Only it definitely wasn't human; it had wings for arms, a coat of black feathers, and was wearing a small, red priests' hat. It was staring at Max, a confused expression on its face.
"What is it, Du Shen-sama?" Myoga said, hopping onto his shoulder to take a look, his eyes bugging out when he saw it too. "Du Shen-sama…is that a Tengu child?"
"Yes it is," Max replied. "A Tengu royal child, to be more specific. Look at the hat on its head."
"Does that mean the Tengu tribe is looking for us?"
"Probably."
They were interrupted by a loud clunking sound coming from the trunk. "What's that?" Royakan asked.
"No way," Max said, dashing to the trunk. "Totosai?" Realizing he had no key, he busted open the lock with his hand, and pulled it open.
A small, green figure hurled itself at max, knocking him to the ground. Shaking his head, Max got a look at the figure. "Jaken?!"
"Argh! Dammit! I thought I was going to be in there forever!" The tiny demon was nude, and covered in soot and other filth. "Damn you, Du Shen! Not only do you come back from the dead to torment my master, but you have throw me in the back of some metal beast and leave me in there for hours! I thought I was going to be killed!"
Realizing he was naked, he made an attempt to cover himself. "Ah! My robe must have gotten lost! I must get back to Sesshomaru-sama!" He turned to run, before he noticed what Royakan was holding. "Give me that!" he said, snatching the staff of heads back before running off into the distance.
The three of them stood in their tracks, staring as the tiny demon disappeared. "What the hell was that?" Max asked.
"I'm not sure, Du Shen-sama; though I'm afraid we likely also drew the ire of Sesshomaru last night as well."
"Wonderful," Max said, rolling his eyes. "Now I've got him to deal with. So much for reconciliation after all these years." Taking another glance in the trunk, he noticed something. "Hey, what's this?"
As he was running through the woods, Jaken suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide.
"Oh no! I forgot to grab Sesshomaru-sama's sword on my way out!"
Max held the sheathed katana in his hands. "This is Tenseiga, isn't it?" he said.
"Is it? How do you know what it is, Du Shen-sama?"
"Uh…" Max let out, trying to find an alibi. "Um, Totosai told me, earlier last night. It's the sword made from your old master's other fang."
"Ah, I see. It looks like a magnificent blade."
"I'm sure it is. Still, it doesn't help our situation." Taking another look inside, he saw something else, and reached to pick it up. "Hey, Royakan – found your fang!" He held it up for the youkai to see before tossing it to him.
"Uh, thank you, Du Shen-sama," he said, holding the fang.
"Don't mention it. Now, if only we could find our friend, instead of a bunch of items that don't belong to us." He sat down on the hood of the car. "We've searched high and low, and we still can't find him. What are we doing wrong?"
"Du Shen-sama…you don't think we could have left him in the modern era, do you?"
Max contemplated the thought for a bit before shaking his head. "I hope not. But it looks like we'll have to consider the possibility."
"All this searching, and still no sign of him," the flea said, hopping up to Max's shoulder. "He could be anywhere, even in the other world. I wonder when we'll see him again."
"Well, until then, we've always got those ridiculous looking statues to remind us of him."
Upon hearing this, Royakan's ears perked up, and he thought to himself. "Wait a minute…statues?" It hit him like a ton of bricks. "You guys! I know where Totosai is now!"
"Huh?" Max said in surprise.
"You do?" Myoga added.
"Yes! Remember, about sixty years ago, that party you threw in the northern lands with all those monks; we played a prank on Totosai –"
"– by molding a statue over his own body!" Myoga finished for him. "I remember that! He woke up inside it, and tried to yell at us, but couldn't! It was hilarious!"
"I remember that too," Max said. "That must be what we did! Quick, we've gotta get back there and let him out!" Hesitating, he opened the door to the Charger, and unhooked the Tengu infant from the kiddie seat. "Royakan! You're carrying him – er, her!" he corrected himself.
"What? Why?"
"Because Myoga's too small, and I'm the only one strong enough to use Totosai's hammer to break him out! Plus, us having the baby was probably your fault."
"How do you know?"
"I just do. Now, let's go!"
Kikyou stood, dead in her tracks, her face a light shade of blue, her eyes narrow and twitching at what she saw.
To say that her shrine was a mess would be an understatement. It was beyond ruined; words could not describe the debauchery that had no doubt gone on here the previous night.
Fences and wooden structures were broken; liquor bottles, discarded clothes, and lewd pictures and drawings were scattered everywhere; chickens, pigs and other farm animals were scurrying around the area for no apparent reason; the pool of sacred misogi water was contaminated with things she didn't want to try and guess; there was a large, gaping hole right through the wall of the shrine; and vulgar graffiti coated every inch of the shrine.
Snapping out of her trance, she approached the structure. "Who or what on earth could have done this?" she asked herself. Her question was answered in the form of a note, nailed to the entrance of the shrine, written on the back of a sacred scroll. Tearing it off, she read it:
Hey, Ice Queen! Hope you like the surprise we left you!
Sincerely, Du Shen.
P.S.: It's great to be back!
Kikyou seethed before doing something she rarely ever did: she let out an ear-piercing scream of frustration, one that sent all forest life running for cover.
He's back, she thought. He's come back to torment me even further, and contaminate and corrupt this land with his antics! She knew something had been wrong ever since she had gotten that feeling. There's only one thing left to do: he has to be destroyed. Both him and Naraku. Otherwise, this world will not survive. And I won't rest until I do!
Well, that's it. I'm writing this for the hell of it, and it will only get wackier. Keep reading, and enjoy!
Next time: Fun at the beach, plus more old friends.