zero getting emotionally distressed 8D and please don't kill me ;;;

After the incident where he had passed out in the balcony, Zero woke half a day later to find himself alone. He found a glass of water on the bedside table and downed it. Some minutes later, some vampire maid had opened the door and left a tray of food by the doorway, prior to the order that no one was allowed in. Zero accepted the food without question, feeling much better albeit a tad unwell from eating too quickly.

While he ate though, he picked up a piece of paper. Hand-written, but with perfection.

'Eat and rest well. Dr. Nakajin said you've got slight malnutrition.'

Zero sniffed at the note. He was very sure that it was written by Kuran.

Abruptly, he crushed the note and left it by the plate on the tray, retreating back to the bed. He doubted he needed to go school, considering his adoptive father had agreed to let him be baby-sat in the Night Dormitory.

Lying on his back, Zero crossed his arms and rested it at the back of his head. He stared up at the solid, cream-colored ceiling, eyes cast on the same spot.

He still couldn't believe that he was stuck with Kuran because he was something called a 'pure bearer'. He didn't, and doesn't want to believe in it. A guy being able to fall pregnant? Ridiculous. Becoming the opposite gender isn't something that every person would find enjoyable, really. Transsexuals were one thing, whereas being able to facilitate your body to do what the opposite sex can is just plain bizarre and far-fetched.

Considering his situation though, he couldn't help but wonder if it was true. If these 'pure bearers' did existed, why him? First of all, he wasn't pureblood. Just what in the world did he do to deserve this? If god was trying to play a prank on him, it wasn't a game anymore. It was torture.

He scoffed. The day he finds peace is probably when he lies in a coffin of his own, right beside his family.

So, let's say he chose to accept that he was indeed some 'pure bearer'. He was practically the pureblood's prisoner for life, wasn't he? Needless to say, he couldn't believe that Kuran loved him. Truthfully, he didn't know if it was out of anger or fear. Maybe a little of both. Acknowledging wasn't a simple decision with a snap of the fingers. It was the same as trust – it could take years to build, but only seconds to shatter. In the first place, Zero never trusted the vampire. With the incident that night, his views on Kuran just hit rock bottom. There was no way amendments could be made that easily.

Zero started to feel rather uncomfortable with the thoughts. He decided to wash his face, hoping that the water could sweep away whatever threatened the preservation of the sanity left.

He treaded to the bathroom, glancing at himself in the mirror. Zero raked a hand through his hair which was halfway down his back. It seemed to have stopped growing, which was a good thing. However, there were several occasions where he was tempted to simply use a cutter to shorten the length to something a little more appropriate for a guy. Every time he looked at himself in the mirror though, if it weren't for the fact that his features matched his mother's so much, he probably would've succeeded.

When he tugged at the end of his strands, it was a memory of his mother's hair - soft, long and smooth on the skin. With the unusual silver locks, he heard many people compliment on his mother, Ichiru and his uniqueness. At first, some would've thought from afar that it was probably some ruffian being crazy and dyeing such an unnatural color. When they got a closer look though, they saw the real beauty in it.

All in all, his mother was mostly the reason why he thought twice about cutting. He had yet gotten over the oddity of why and how his hair grew approximately ten over inches over a period of a week. Yes, it was a week from when he had last seen Sacred.

It embarrassed him to recall the words he said regarding the Exile. Had he really admitted to Kuran that he actually loved Sacred? He was half conscious then, but there was something eating at him. It felt like an itch which could not be scratched and it bugged him to no end. Maybe he lied to make Kuran leave him alone.

That thought made him feel uncomfortable. Letting out a sigh of distraught, Zero raked his fingers through his hair, leaning over and placing his elbow on the marble sink. He continued glaring at the person in the mirror, disappointed and angry. He hated himself for not being able to be true to his own feelings. Yes, he knew he would be lying if he told himself that he didn't love the Exile.

Zero's emotions sank. He never realized his legs were shaking from an unknown cause. As awkward as it was, he sat on the floor, against the bathtub. This place didn't bring the best of memories, and this time his entire body was trembling. Zero wanted to leave the bathroom, but didn't feel well enough to. His vision was brightened, making the objects he saw all hazy and undefined.

Sacred left me here because I'm a vampire...

He could only pray that it was a lie, but no matter how he saw the situation, there could be no true reason why he was being thrown under the pureblood's watch. What else, besides what he was, could have made Sacred part from him?

In the end, he thought he only had himself to blame.

XoXoXoDesertRoseXoXoXo

As a pureblood, Kaname could never be wrong. But that didn't mean that he wouldn't make mistakes. He knew that this time, it was a grave one. He couldn't turn back time to make changes.

Leaning back against the couch, Kaname rubbed his temple with the pads of his fingers. He had settled himself in a room not far from his own, but for safety measures, had never once slept in the same room as Zero. The scent of the hunter could overcome any resistance. If it was for a short moment, Kaname could contain himself. Anything more than an hour would drive him insane for sure.

Female vampires were unaffected as such, hence he had ordered Seiren to guard the door. He had also requested the maid to bring some books to Zero time to time, hopefully busying the ex-human. However, Kaname wondered how long this would last.

He had come across multiple pure bearers, as rare as they were. However, it was only the second time he had encountered a 'mixed-pure bearer'.

By that, he meant an individual with mixed blood. The person had been a prisoner Exile. Normally Exiles were sterile, but once in a while, unusual things happened. The one thing any person had to keep in mind always was that they were unpredictable. Hell literally broke loose when the Exile showed signs that he was ready. The scent overwhelmed the entire race of vampires. Unable to comprehend the situation in their right minds, they couldn't restrain themselves and ended up killing each other.

Werewolves only picked the strongest to mate with. That made the fights last for longer than needed, and it became the bloodbath of the century. From then on, any Exile which showed signs of being able to be a mixed-pure bearer were killed on the spot to prevent another internal battle.

From that history he had witnessed, he had panicked when he found out Zero was capable of being a pure bearer. His first thought had actually been 'execution'. But because it was Zero, he couldn't. Plus, the law had only existed in the underworld, so in a way, he was thankful that it wasn't necessary to implement the rule on the hunter.

The only honest reason why he had yet to make him move on Zero was that he wanted the latter to accept him. Naturally, he had every right of access to the pure bearer, but he didn't want to make the same mistake twice. He just didn't.

He sensed a vampire's presence from the other side of the door and he knew who it was right away.

"Enter, Seiren."

The subordinate did so quickly, a hand over her chest. Kaname noticed that even through the woman's expressionless face, something was wrong.

"Kiryuu-sama had collapsed in the bathroom. I've managed to shift him to the bed, but he doesn't seem well."

Kaname barely hid the worry from his face. Zero had been unwell enough lately. Coupled with the fact that he wasn't even meant to carry the role of a pure bearer, he was easily susceptible to physical and mental stress and hence the black outs. They weren't usually life threatening, but were often enough to get the pureblood damn concerned and on his toes.

He got up from his seat immediately, brushing past Seiren. The female vampire followed her leader a few rooms down, in which had no occupant as Kaname had ordered the changes.

"Guard the door," the brunette said strictly.

Seiren only lowered his head, heeding the order.

Kaname entered his room and closed the door behind him swiftly, but quietly. From the moment he stepped in, the alluring scent of Zero's caused his senses to scream. He barely cast the urges aside, and with large, quick strides he was by the bed where Zero lay.

The hunter was flushed and was breathing rapidly. From a normal person's perspective, it would've seemed like a condition of a high fever, but Kaname knew better.

The pureblood stood up, brushing the locks shielding Zero's face. He turned, about to head towards the bathroom when his wrist was grabbed. Momentarily stunned, he hadn't reacted as quickly as he could. He was being pulled onto the bed, and a weight settled on his abdomen. Silently, he cursed himself for letting his guard down.

Above, Zero was staring down at him. The hands on his chest prevented him from getting up, but it was mostly because the pureblood was mesmerized by the dark purple, cat-like eyes. No doubt, he became a deer caught in the headlights. Kaname couldn't even move or speak.

Zero leaned over Kaname with feline grace, and the pureblood swore he could hear something like a purr. This caused him to shudder. Not only from the sweet sounds Zero was making, but the boy on him was shifting his hips, purposefully grinding them against each other.

The pureblood couldn't lie that he wasn't responding. In fact, he was cringing under the contact, fingers digging into the bed. It was taking more than just his will to not react out of lust.

But the other wasn't so keen on doing nothing. Zero started nibbling down the column of Kaname's neck, licking at the junction of it. He teased by dragging his fangs over the skin hard enough to only cause a shallow cut. He would lick at it after, only to repeat the same thing over. His hands were fumbling with the hem of Kaname's pants, fingers taunting the sensitive flesh near the groin. Then, it went lower and his fingernails trailed over the evident bulge through the material.

The brunette's hand grabbed the one hovering over him. This had to stop, or else they were going to regret it big time. Kaname's other hand cupped Zero's face, and lilac and brown met. Even though the pureblood was holding back, the cat eyes could see the sexual desire in them. Hence, Zero didn't stop. He swapped their holds, holding Kaname's hand in his and brought it to his lips.

Even if he wanted to look away, Kaname couldn't. Zero started licking his fingers from tip to base highly suggestively and he could feel the ache growing within his manhood.

Now he knew why the vampires of his time resorted to killing each other. The mixed-pure bearer was quite literally worth dying for. Their scent, the way they acted… It was purely to attract mates, and the pureblood couldn't deny that he was falling deeper into the spell by the second.

Gritting his teeth, Kaname pulled his hand back roughly and his fingers seized the front of Zero's shirt. He brought their faces close and growled.

"You know we're both going to hate what happens after this."

But Kaname didn't care anymore. He closed the distance between them and kissed Zero.

XoXoXoDesertRoseXoXoXo

Sharp breaths and the musky scent of sex filled the room. The two bodies void of their clothes settled on the bed, with the brunette sitting on it and a silver-haired on him.

Zero's head was thrown back as fangs sunk deep into his neck, heightening the ecstasy. His arms were wrapped around Kaname's shoulders tightly in encouragement. The pureblood's ones were around his lower back, controlling the movement of his hips to meet every plunge. Kaname never held back the deep, forceful upward thrusts he made with each movement. Every time he hit the sweet spot inside, Zero would let out a gasp of pleasure.

It was too late to turn back for Kaname. He could only hope against hope right now that when Zero had regained consciousness, he wasn't going to die right away. Then again, dying in the hands of someone you loved wasn't hard to accept. He knew he deserved it, in fact. He said he loved Zero, yet he was doing this. Having sex with him, when it wasn't the Zero he knew who wanted it.

Regret would be an understatement to what he would feel later. In true fact, he didn't know what he was truly going to feel. Anger? Disappointment? Fear? With Zero, he never knew. His initial hate for the boy became love, and it turned to obsession at some point. He didn't want to let the hunter go. Kaname knew Zero hated him and he wanted to take it slow. But anything he did only drove the latter further.

What could he have done to earn Zero's trust and his love? He didn't know. Maybe it was only something Yuki… and perhaps Sacred, who knew.

"This would be the end of us," Kaname said huskily after removing his fangs from the pale neck. "But just for tonight… let me hold you until dawn comes."

XoxoxoDesertRoseXoXoXo

"Look at how cute they both are!"

"They're as beautiful as you are, my love"

His parents' voice. This time, Zero was looking up at their faces all of a sudden. Being able to see them once more, he felt tears stinging his eyes. Warm tears trailed down his face, and he could feel it as if it was real. Zero reached his arm out, trying to call out to his parents. However, the words came out incoherent.

"Ah, Zero wants to be carried."

He was being lifted up like a baby, and Zero was going to protest that he wasn't a child anymore. Then, he noticed that his hands were all stubby and weak, and realised that he was a baby.

"You must carry Ichiru too! You know how they both get jealous of each other so easily." The gentle voice of his mother laughed.

His father picked his twin up, and Zero could see the mirror image of himself. He desperately shouted Ichiru's name, but the other baby didn't respond. Ichiru only looked back at him, mouthing something.

"Hey Zero…"

From a vision of darkness, Zero opened his eyes. He was standing in a meadow which stretched further than his eyes could see. Glancing around, he searched for the origin of the voice desperately. It was probably still a dream… Yes, of course it was. The voice of the person belonged to someone who only existed in his memory.

"Ichiru! Where are you?" Zero yelled as loudly as he could. He wanted to speak to his brother. Even if just to see him…

Instincts told him to look over his shoulder and he did. There stood his younger twin, smiling at him. Zero closed the distance between them and hugged Ichiru. Tears were threatening to surface again, but this time they were held back.

"What are you intending to do?" Ichiru asked as he returned the hug.

"I don't know… I don't even know what to do now. I'm lost, I can't do anything. Living is meaningless to me now…"

"That's true… but Zero, if you were given a chance to live again, will you do it?"

"I'm not human, Ichiru. I can't 'live'."

The twins separated when Ichiru gently ushered Zero to stand on his own. The mirror images stared at each other. Ichiru interlocked their fingers together, holding them gently.

"Hey Zero, you know, if I had the chance to live again, I will do it to the fullest."

Zero swallowed. "I know. It should've been me who died. Not you. You had more reason to live than I do-"

Ichiru shaking his head interrupted his words. The younger twin leaned forward, touching their foreheads together.

"I wanted to live, only because you do too. You know, we aren't that different. We struggled to live because we know that inside, someone out there will save us. I found mine, Zero. Shizuka-sama was the one who gave me that few years, even though I'm destined to die. But you know what? I don't regret it. I've lived my life to the fullest I could ever get. What about you?"

"I won't find someone like that…"

"Will you not?"

Then, all of a sudden, it was pitch-black darkness. Zero was going to call out for his brother, but water was filling his lungs instead. He couldn't breathe. He struggled, knowing he should swim for the surface - if there was any. Even though it was a dream, it felt real enough.

His arms flayed in the water, legs kicking with all their might. His hand reached out in the darkness as his eyes shut from the strain from lack of air. The outreached hand started to slacken, extended fingers curling from weakness. Zero was about to lose consciousness when a hand clasped his wrist and pulled.

The next thing Zero knew, he was staring up hazily at what seemed to be the sky. Tiny patches of white indicated stars, and there were so many he couldn't count.

A dark figure came into his line of vision. He could hear his name being called with apprehension, and a hand was gently rubbing his face. Eventually, his vision allowed him to see a brunette's face clearly.

It was Sacred's… and it looked… concerned? Was that fear too?

Weakly, his hand reached up and brushed the temple of the Exile's, the brunette's name slipping out softly.

Sacred pulled Zero up, holding the hunter gently and nuzzled the other's forehead, relieved. Zero wrapped an arm around the brunette's neck on the opposite side, burying his own face into the warmth in the crook of the neck. He felt the warmth he had been yearning for so long.

"This should be your answer, shouldn't it?" Ichiru's voice said.

XoXoXoDesertRoseXoXoXo

When Zero woke, he didn't bother to stop the tears even if it hurt his male pride. The pain in his chest was worse. He curled into the warmth of another body. He knew it was Kuran by scent, but he didn't care. He felt the brunette shift and place an arm around his back, rubbing in consolation.

He knew clearly what Ichiru was trying to tell him. It wasn't over yet. He couldn't just sit back and wait for anything to be done. If you wanted something, you had to walk on your own two feet and get it.

When he finally felt better, Zero rubbed away the drying trails of tears on his face. He had hidden most of the embarrassing act by hiding against the middle of Kaname's body. Now that he recovered, he wondered why the brunette was in the same room as him, considering that he never had since the moment he was being kept in the Night Dormitory.

Abruptly, the hunter shoved Kaname, flinching back. Neither of them had clothes on, and Zero felt his blood turn cold.

"Zero-"

Slap!

The brunette never saw that coming. A look of surprise adorned his face as he stared at the corner of the bed. Gritting his teeth, a hand raked through his hair.

"What the hell did you do?"

This was the first time Kaname had ever heard the usually reserved person shouting. He had been expecting it, but the thought was different to the action. Undeniably, it hurt more.

"What do you think we did?"

"We?" Zero snarled and stood up, grabbing the blanket.

"Just in case you forgot, you were the one who made the first move," Kaname replied. There was irritation in it – something the pureblood didn't intend to show.

"Bullshit!"

The hunter never saw Kaname moving. In a split second, Zero was on the bed, arms pinned over his head by one hand cuffed around his wrists. The brunette loomed over, his other hand pushing at Zero's thigh to keep him down. The latter glared up angrily, baring fangs and growling. Kaname was glaring down as well, and neither frustrated individuals let up.

Eventually, Kaname let out a sigh of distraught, catching Zero by surprise. He dropped his forehead on the chest of the person below, loosening his grip on Zero's wrists.

"I'm sorry…" Kaname whispered.

Zero froze. Time seemed to have remained still for hours.

The pureblood retreated, sitting at the edge of the bed and he buried his hand into his hands. Zero could tell he was stressed out. Had he really been apologetic? Or was it some act to trick him?

"I didn't mean to. I wanted to wait for you to… acknowledge who I was to you. But knowing that you loved Sacred…"

"That didn't give you a fucking right to rape me again," Zero hissed out, shifting to the further corner of the bed.

Kaname knew there was no way he could convince Zero otherwise. At the end of it, he had to revert to using the 'power' he had as a pureblood. It had always been that way. He was sick and tired of it because it made him feel low. But what else could he do? There was no way the situation could be rectified anymore. Not after what he did.

"Yes," Kaname spoke, his tone changing to be firm. "Because if I didn't, someone else would have."

"What did you say?" the hunter shouted angrily.

The pureblood stood up and Zero flinched back without meaning to. The latter cornered himself more as he glared at Kaname picking his clothes up from the floor and putting it on.

"It doesn't matter now. You can leave the Night Dormitory if you wish to."

"Why did you even imprison me here in the first place?"

"You're a special case of a pure bearer. Even though it's only known before that purebloods are the only ones capable, once in a blue moon, an Exile gets it."

Zero frowned. With Kaname's back facing him, he grabbed his own clothes which were on the floor by his side of the bed. He took the shirt first, which was closest to him.

"I'm not an Exile."

"No one has ever taken the blood of both vampire and werewolf and lived to tell about it. Consider yourself lucky."

"Just bloody lucky," Zero said, sarcasm dripping. His actions paused when he was about to reach for his pants. Fuck, the pure bearer thing.

Blood drained from his face when he heard the next words of the pureblood.

"What's done is done. Abort the child, abandon it… I don't care what you do."

"Kura-!"

The door of the room shut on him. Zero could only stare at the wooden doors with widened eyes. Fear of a level he never knew existed coarse through his body. The outreached hand was shaking like a leaf.

"Oh god…" He uttered, hugging himself. An unnatural sensation of coldness pricked his skin everywhere. This can't be happening…

warning: long post note by stupid yumiii who should be studying/doing assignemnts but is procrastinating because fics tend to be more interesting than diseases that make you unable to pee (i'm serious lol)

F-CK I FAIL SMUT -dies in embarrassment and wont live til the next century- if you can dig me out my grave mabbe i can continue writing. no seriously. this probably isn't even like a full smut from top to toe but... i mean i've done smut in story role plays with my friend but... omg lol. want to die please XD believe that yumiii does struggle LOL

Now that i think of it, i think this would probably be the saddest chap in the entire story O-o mabbe one of them. but whoah, didn't expect myself to be writing like this. i mean, compared to my other stuff (if you've read)... O.O i think there's a big difference to the atmosphere. goodness me -wipes forehead-

Eheh now you know why I said 'please don't kill me'. Clarification before you set me on fire and/or dig my grave hole! Desert Rose's plot had already been decided ever since the start of the story. Questions and polls are just my curious cat wanting to know what other people think and would want. No, I'm NOT done with Desert Rose yet it's not the end of the world, my dear readers... I'm just leaving you in suspense for the next chap. yes, I am evil. Yumiii is evil. Lives on evil. Your anguish fuels my writings! jkjkjkjk XDDD haha...

just a quote: "He had come across multiple pure bearers, as rare as they were." - don't forget, the current kaname is actually one of the originals :3 he's ancient! like... mellenium ancient! no jk XD but more details will come around next chap. also, the part in zero's dream ( tho im sure most of you guys guessed it already) is the incident from chapter 3.

When yumiii is bored, she reads reviews of desert rose again and again. Why? cos it's funnier than a joke book. Some of you are just so cute I could cuddle you XD Especially with dramatic reviews -stares at a string of numbers, dollar signs, hex signs, percentage signs etc- (you know who you are lol i'm not disclosing) plus it's interesting to see how people seem to proclaim their love for sacred whilst verbally beating up Kaname -raise eyebrow- poor kana-chan lol. i'm TRYING not to be biased towards my own character... really... 50/50 chance of failure tho rofl.

What amuses me the most is that some of you guys are being stressed out between choosing Sacred and Kaname. That, I apologise, it totally my intentionional on my part XD Of course, I'm not forcefully implimenting my character on you. Just giving a few heart strings. Some deovted KXZ fans have so far (still) managed to remain loyal to the pairing... but I wonder how long that would last hehehehhe -evil laughs- Some have already fallen under the spell of the fluffy werewolf. Some are barely holding on and still juggling a SXZXK. One of these bored days im going to hunt down those who wanted a KXZ at first and eventually gave in to SXZ XD

As for every happy times there are surely some sad ones. Reading some reviews made yumii sad too (i have no idea why im speaking in 3rd person. it's not cute, you old ugly hag!-slap-) because some people intend to abandon reading desert rose if zero ends up with sacred -sweats- that quite scares me D: really... i'd really rather you not review that you 'will not continue reading if -insert whatever here-'. It hurts the author's feelings, ya know. Not only me, but i'm sure other writers have encountered such a situation at some point in time. Sad to say some writers can't change anything even if they wanted to if not they'd end up having to cater to all readers' likes/dislikes and it makes writing so hard. ): -kicks emo yumiii away-

Anywho, sexy tidbit! Betcha neva seen Zero with a big, fluffy werewolf with wings, have ya hehehehee... profile page people, profile page. it has everything hurr hurr... even my deepest, darker secrets... no, not really. -coughs- I'm not an interesting individual at all. I know Sacred's more interesting than me. O3O there's also a silly poll that's only a clicky away! it's one what you think of sacred, in the simplicit way.

Ok, I'm bored so... LOL this was a silly question I asked cocobi on deviantart. Yes, this is going to make your face roll.

Between Kaname and Sacred, who's top/bottom? (well, when there's a will there's a way right?)

this is for my amusement (as usual). XD tho, even before i get answers i have a rough guess what the results are. gonna prove me wrong? hehehehe

well to only be fair, here are some of the answers to the questions i have asked you guys before:

If Sacred was your character, what would you have named him?
Frankly, I have no idea why his name is Sacred. I think i was staring at an antique pot or something. No that cant be it. Haha... Let's jsut say when i created the four brothers(which was like... i dunno. 3/4 years ago?), I wanted simple names that were still unique in their ways. Due to my love for japanese, jap names were a definite choice. I'll talk about the other three possibly another time cos this question is specifically on sacred.
I guess in a way you just know a name fits when the name fits O.o I think his name was inspired by something I witnessed when I created them. I don't tend to like to use names people have used before unless it's some random, one time person like the junior hunter. oh and doc nakajin. However, if i were to give Sacred a jap name... For some reason 'Jun' popped into my head.

In what way do you like Sacred?
Waha. My own charac? Of course I love him for everything he is! -slaps self- But specifically... I guess the fact that he is very protective of the person/people he cares for. So far it's his brothers and Zero at the moment. When I mean protective, i mean the drop-dead overreactive sort of protective. Someone commented on how the way he protects Zero is pretty scary XD that i can agree. Makes him the perfect guard dog LOL -kicks self- But another thing I like about him is his awkwardness. "SACRED? AWKWARD?" you might be yelling right now. Yes, believe it or not, our man-eating werewolf can turn into a little puppy when the conditions are right. The fact that he isn't used to being awkward makes him even funnier, because when he doesn't know what to do, he really screws things up. Like really, lol. here's an example: he doesn't know what a spoon is. he sees someone put the end into their mouths. He does the same, but ends up biting the spoon into two. yes, that awkward.

who do you think should be the dad of Zero's kids?
hate to break it to you, but i can't answer that XD

What I can/should improve on, and what more you want to see.
I think i can only write longer chaps LOL. I should stop being lazy too. -side glances at my coh fic... sweat drops-

what do you think he'll do? Continue loving Sacred, or have a change of heart and love Kaname instead?
how about... -beep beep beep and beep- i know that doesnt answer the question XD for such i cannot answer LOL. not because i dont want to, i cant. one, i'm not trying to look biased and two, i REALLY don't know haha. I'm just writing the fic for my amusement.