Summary: An Avengers AU where our beloved characters are tortured in a rom-com. Inspired by a fake "Love-Vengers...Actually"-movie poster on tumblr.

Pairings:oh so many. To be exact: In "Love...actually" there are nine pairings of which there will be six in this story because I only used AVengers-characters (and Darcy) from the movie (and that still leads to at least two crack pairings...). I wouldn't want to write them down here because I think (hope...) that part of the fun will be to find the counterparts. Though if you want to know them, just ask.

Warnings: Spoilers for "The Avengers", "Thor" and "Love...actually". Non-beta'd and written by a non-native speaker/writer. Gratuitous attempt at writing in general.

Disclaimer: Neither affiliated with "The Avengers" nor with "Love...actually".

Author's Note: Hi! So...my very first attempt at publishing fanfiction. At first I intended to start five weeks before Christmas (like in "Love...actually") but of course I didn't finish until then thus I will just update at random and hope that it'll end before Christmas. Each chapter is told from another character's POV...I didn't even try to distribute it evenly...hope it will be readable anyway. As I only read a few comics and never a full arc the characters are modelled after the movie. Though it still needs quite some suspension of disbelief (apparently Hill was barely ever on a mission before...yeah, I know). You are warned. Have fun.

Chapter 9:

The rain had ceased entirely and now, in the darkness, it was cold. Maybe the streets would be icy next morning.

He walked with the army of pedestrians, passing an endless row of glittering shop windows. Sometimes he smelled oranges and cinnamon and punch.
When he couldn't feel his feet anymore he stopped and walked into the first bar his eyes fell on.

All tables were occupied and he sat down at the far end of the bar and ordered a whisky.

He could have had that in the tower.
He took the first sip.
It would have tasted better, too.

He leaned at the wall with his back and watched the other guests in the bar. The music was almost inaudible and he only ever heard a few beats when the talking ebbed away for a few seconds. There were two working behind the bar, and it was the girl who made her way back to him to bring him his second.

She smiled and looked him up and down, then she checked on her partner and when she saw that he could handle it she picked up her phone.

"May I ask you a question?"

He did not know whether he should be worried and he did not know about what he should be worried about either.

"Sure."

"Is that you?"

Now he knew what he needed to be worried about. He knew there were pictures, many pictures, but nobody had ever recognized him.

"I mean..." the girl stuttered when she saw his reaction. "I'm sorry, it's a mis..."

"It's me." He tried a smile. "I'm sorry, I was just...surprised. Nobody ever looks at me."

She smiled and looked at the picture. It was shot from this bar, from the day of Loki's big party, he and Cap had their faces turned to the window and were looking up. Black Widow was halfway out of the shot, her face hidden by her hair.

"They should. You are a hero." She leant over the counter. Her low-cut blouse wrinkled around her chest. "Drinks are on the house tonight."

He should go. It might be a trap. It was his job to be invisible.

"Thanks. And I'm not..."

She smiled. "You saved us, sure you are. You should be in the papers too, why do they only ever write articles about Iron Man and Captain America?"

He snorted. "Believe me, I should not and I'm glad that they give their faces so that we others can stay invisible."

Her partner whistled from the other end of the bar.
She rolled her eyes. "I'll be back" she said and when she walked off her hand brushed over his.

He emptied his glass in one gulp and spent some time with an empty glass, watching her serve other clients, mix drinks and counting change. Half of her hair was wrapped in a bun and secured by only a stick while the other half fell over her shoulders.
After a while he recognized that she slowly made her way down the bar. Every customer had to walk two steps more than the one before until no one came up to her anymore. She turned to him and grinned.

He could not hold back any longer. "Is that a chopstick in your hair?"

She giggled and before he could say anything she pulled it out.

"No! Why did you do this? It looked so nice."

"I can do it again" she laughed. "And yes, it's a chopstick. But it's a chopstick with glitter." He touched it carefully.

"I made it myself." She took it back and with a few movements had the hair wrapped in a bun again. "See? No problem."
She leant over the counter again. "Are you...you know...like Captain America?"

He smiled. "Not at all. Cap is...no, I'm just a soldier."

She frowned but didn't say anything and instead grabbed under the counter and poured him a new glass. "And was the woman a soldier too?"

He took a sip. It was dark, especially in his corner, but he could see the blue in her eyes. "Yes."

She hesitated. "There were not many soldiers...that day."

He shrugged and tried the smug escape. "In the end there were enough."

When he felt her breath on his cheek he understood why he could see her eyes.

She smiled again. Then he felt a shadow to his right and braced for an attack. This time the other guy did not just whistle but came up to her. She whirled around.

"Sorry" she said before he could open his mouth. "Sorry."
She gently pushed him to the front again, then she turned around and sent him an apologetic look back.

He stared in his drink. He kept it for a long time and refused any refill.
The bar had emptied considerably when he finally stood up and walked to the front where she was polishing glasses. He put a bill in the tip jar.

She smiled and put the glass down. "Thanks."

"Thank you" he answered. "Are you here every evening?"

She shook her head. "Only Monday, today and Friday...they had to cut back." She wiped the counter with the towel. "It's barely enough and I'm looking for a new job, but that's not easy nowadays."
She grabbed one of the coasters in front of him and wrote a string of numbers on it. "If I shouldn't be here anymore the next time you come" she said and put it in his hand, wrapping his fingers around it.
She winked and maybe he winked back and suddenly he was in the street again, surrounded by the army once more.

He let himself drag along for a while, then he stopped behind a fruit vendor and took his phone out of the pocket. She answered after the third ring.

"Mia."

He smiled.

"Hello? Who's there?"

"It's me. I didn't know your name."

She laughed. "Now you do."

"Now I do. But I don't want to disturb you any longer. Bye, Mia."

He hung up and waited. It did not go longer than ten seconds.

He grinned. "Hello?"

"That's not how you answer a phone!" she laughed. "Play along!"

"What should I play?"

"You are terrible!" she huffed.

He laughed and turned around, only to find himself in front of a brightly lit window with faceless puppets.

"I'm Clint" he said.

"Pleased to meet you, Clint."