And here it is, folks! The newest update of my not-so-critically-acclaimed novel! In which Diamond can really be an idiot and archaeologists are freezing cold. lol. Well, anyway, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:

DarkLord98: By 'title' do you mean the nickname that the Marines give them, like 'Straw Hat' Lucy, 'Black Leg' Sanji, etc.? Because I already have one for Damon/Diamond. But for your OC, sure!

Chapter 10 start!

Diamond versus Lucy: Nami Wins!

The Death of an Ally?

Previously on OP Full Blast:

Finally, close to two hours later, the party was finally winding down. I checked my iPod and realized with surprise that it was way past midnight!

Zoro had passed out a few tankards of beer ago, and Nami slammed her mug on the table and promptly fell over, having won the Kanpai Contest. Lucy was finally collapsing from overeating, her belly so full that her shirt was just barely hanging off her. Seeing this, my face flushed deep red and I passed out with a small nosebleed. Oi, can you blame me? Her huge fun bags were almost totally unsheathed for all the world to enjoy!

And so it was that I missed out on fighting the bounty hunters of Whiskey Peak.

My eyes fluttered open and I stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. For a second, I had a panicked moment where I couldn't figure anything out. Where were we? What was happening? Then I gasped as memories of the past day flooded through my head.

Yeah, that's right. We defeated Lady Konton around noon, sailed for a couple of hours, reached Whiskey Peak, then partied until we dropped. Speaking of which, my head hurt like a bitch. I made a mental note to never get drunk again.

"Okay, so what's going on now...?" I muttered. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something important was happening, but my hangover was stopping me from thinking properly. I groaned in pain and sent my thoughts out, trying to detect water. I found a river not too far away and stumbled out the door, through the streets of Whiskey Peak, and submerged myself in the inlet we'd taken to this place.

I sighed in relief as my hangover was washed away. My head finally clear, I organized my thoughts. In the original, canon anime, the Straw Hats go straight to Whiskey Peak after disembarking from Reverse Mountain. Then they party like we did, and after that... I face-faulted. Dang it! That's right! Zoro fights the villagers, who turn out to be bounty hunters, and then Luffy fights Zoro because he thinks Zoro was being ungrateful or whatever idiocy runs through the straw hatted moron's mind.

The Swap Island misadventure had already proven that Lucy was more 'heroic' than Luffy. She'd skipped lunch just to give a bad guy payback. Luffy never would've done something like that.

What if Lucy actually killed Zoro now?

I couldn't let that happen. I had to find them and stop their battle, or if need be, battle Lucy myself. I hoped it wouldn't have to come to that, though.

Only problem? I had absolutely no idea where they were.

Then an explosion rocked the town, and I turned around to see a cloud of black smoke billowing up into the air. I blinked. When in doubt, go to where the action's at.

Deciding that it might be quicker to travel along the rooftops, I climbed a ladder to the top of one of the houses and ran as fast as I could before jumping off the edge. A momentary feeling of weightlessness made my stomach drop to the ground, but the strange sensation went away and I landed on the roof of another house, rolling with the landing. I kept my eyes on the cloud of smoke, jumping along the rooftops until I came to the place it was coming from. By this time, only a small bit of smoke was still visible.

I peered over the edge of the building, hoping I wasn't too late.

It was a bit hard to see because of the dark night, but my eyes had adjusted to the blackness enough that I could make out a black guy with weird hair standing casually in the center of the street, next to a small woman with a flowery dress, a yellow helmet-like hat, and one of those umbrella things that Princess Peach has. What were they called... parasols? Yeah, that. They, in turn, were staring at two very familiar figures who were facing each other off. My eyes widened.

An overly fat Lucy and Zoro were there in fighting position, Zoro glaring at our captain with a look that clearly said, Why did I have to choose such an idiot captain!?, Lucy's expression unreadable from my vantage point, but an angry aura clearly readable around her.

Had I not made it in time?

As I watched, the ball of rubber jumped up into the air and smashed into the ground just in front of Zoro, throwing a punch strong enough to smash the cliff behind the swordsman. The local Marimo gulped and rolled out of the way of the punch, but Lucy pulled herself out of the cliff and kicked. Our captain attacked again and again, forcing Zoro into one of the buildings. He came out a few seconds later, running out of the way of another stretchy punch. I narrowed my eyes and tensed my muscles, then took a running leap off the side of the building I stood on.

"Tempest Boxing!" I shouted, pulling water from the air and wrapping it around my arms. I landed in between Zoro and Lucy, just in time to stop a punch with my crossed arms.

"Diamond-chan!" Lucy gasped, still looking angry. She retracted her arm with a snap. "What the hell are you doing!? I gotta kill Zoro! He just cut up the villagers after they threw this nice party for us!"

"I know he did," I told her, "and he had a very good reason to. These guys would've captured us and given us to the government if it hadn't been for him. They're our enemies, except for Miss Wednesday and Igarappoi, who we've allied ourselves with."

Lucy glared at me. "What the hell are you saying, Diamond-chan!? No way are they our enemies! Enemies wouldn't give you food!"

"They would if they thought it would gain our trust, thus making us easier to capture," I pointed out, getting in a fighting stance.

"Oh, Diamond!" Zoro said from behind me. "Hold off Lucy for me, will ya? I need to defeat these two Baroque Works agents."

"Sure thing," I told him.

"If you're on Zoro's side," Lucy hissed angrily, "then I'll have to kill you, too!" She charged me, looking more like an oversized bowling ball than a human girl. My eye twitched as I sidestepped a punch, returning with a massive one of my own. She gasped in pain and was thrown down the street, wiping out the Baroque Works agents that had been charging at us in the process.

"That damn baka..." Zoro hissed.

I nodded and clenched my water-covered fists. "Yeah. Tell me about it."

"It looked like your punch hurt her, but she's rubber. How the hell's that possible?"

I examined my hands. "Must be the water covering them. Devil Fruit users are all weak to water."

"Makes sense," he agreed.

Three explosions in rapid succession blew up the building that I had knocked Lucy into. I grunted in surprise and worry, hoping Lucy hadn't been hurt. Even if she was acting like a moron right now, she was still my captain, and over the three, almost four weeks I'd been with this crew, she'd been given a special place in my heart. Just fighting her was one of the single hardest things I've ever done.

The parasol lady... what was her name?... Miss Valentine...? floated up out of the explosion, riding the force due to her Kilo-Kilo Fruit powers. "Now you've made me angry!" she complained. "You shall die now by my Kilo-Kilo power!" She laughed a bitchy laugh. "Prepare yourself! I was able to ride on the explosion because my weight is a mere 1 kilogram!"

"Mr. Bushido!" called Vivi, sounding panicked. "Miss... uh, Miss Diamond! Get out of the way! That woman - -"

"Stay out of this!" Zoro told her.

I nodded and glared down the path. "Yeah, this is our battle. We're just protecting you. Do you want to die or do you want your kingdom to see peaceful times once again?"

She sputtered. "N-N-Nani!? How do you know about Alabasta?"

"Didn't I tell you?" I turned to look behind me and smirked. "I'm a psychic demigod!"

"A... psychic? A psychic demigod?"

Lucy burst out of the building, dragging an unconscious Mr. 5 behind her. Those number agents were really pretty stupid, showing their number in plain sight of everyone. I mean, honestly, if you're gonna be part of a secret criminal organization, wouldn't you want to try to hide that fact as much as possible?

"Ah, good," she muttered, patting her stomach. She was now back to her usual, skinny self. "That exercise burned off all the extra fat I'd gained at the party. Now I can use my full power."

"Mr-Mr. 5!" Vivi yelped. "A Baroque Works Officer Agent defeated so easily..."

I gritted my teeth. If Lucy was using her full power against me, I wouldn't stand a chance as I was. I'd have to use my Sukiru Byo, my Skill Second. I unsheathed Chiwohiku and held it high above my head, putting two fingers in front of my mouth, shouting, "Destroy all enemies, Chiwohiku!" I felt my kami no kosoru change shape in my hand. This time, though, Lucy wasn't distracted by its 'cool powers.'

"Whoa!" Zoro gasped. "It can change shape!"

"Is it a broadsword or a rapier?" Vivi asked, sounding confused.

The duck she was sitting on quacked.

I lowered Chiwohiku, which was now the long rapier I'd used earlier today (actually, I suppose I should say yesterday since it's past midnight), and pointed it straight in front of me, right at Lucy. I gripped it with both hands, remembering that a two-handed attack is twice as powerful as a one-handed attack.

"If you're gonna go full blast," I said, "then I'm gonna have to go all out, too. Flash Step!"

I dashed forward, the world slowing down around me. Meanwhile, Miss Valentine barreled down through the air at Zoro, who merely stepped to the side and made her smash a hole deep into the ground. As she came up, Zoro slammed the flat of his blade into her head, knocking her out cold.

I jumped at Lucy full-speed head on, cutting in the shape of a David's Star. "Kami no Kosoru, David's Star!" I shouted. A faint outline of the Jewish symbol glowed faintly for a moment, then flew at Lucy, who rolled out of the way.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!" she yelled as I landed cat-like against the ruined wall of the building at the end of the street. I gulped and pushed out of the wall, but not soon enough. The attack drove into my stomach with the force of... well... a pistol. I was thrown through the wall, which crumbled around me.

I struggled to my feet, grunting in pain. "Ah, that's gonna sting in the morning," I mumbled. "Flash Step!" I dashed in a random pattern around the street. "Kami no Kosoru..."

"You're slower than that bastard Kuro," Lucy taunted, tensing her muscles. "Gum-Gum..."

"Tsunami Slash!" I jumped into the air and cut down in an overhead strike, a wall of water forming out of the air behind me for extra force.

"Bazooka!" Both of Lucy's arms stretched clear down the street.

SMASH! The two attacks collided against each other with enough power to send a small wave of energy out around us in a circle, leveling a few of the houses along the street as Zoro took out Mr. 5 easily. My sword shook in my grip and Lucy growled angrily.

"Not too bad," my captain said grudgingly.

I smirked. "Same." I leapt back out of the deadlock and skidded to a stop before Flash Stepping behind Lucy. She must've been able to follow me, though, because she reacted with expert timing.

"Lightning Hawk Blast!" I roared, letting go of Chiwohiku with my right hand and starting with my signature move.

Lucy blocked with her forearm, though she winced in pain from the watery punch, and stretched her other arm back. "Gum-Gum Bullet!"

I ducked the blow and recovered, twisting to lash out in a spinning sidekick amplified with water, yelling "Tempest Leg!" Lucy followed up with a Gum-Gum Pistol at the same time. Both attacks found their target, and we were thrown back, shouting in pain. I smashed into a barrel of booze and Lucy went through another wall.

I dried myself and stood up, panting in exhaustion. Using my Sukiru Byo twice in twenty four hours took up a ton of energy, as I discovered while training with the god of war.

My captain also got to her feet, panting in anger.

We charged each other, letting out loud battle cries. I sliced with Chiwohiku and managed to cut a thin line on her cheek, making my eye twitch in hatred for what I was doing to my captain. Lucy kicked me in the stomach. I Flash Stepped away and drew water vapor into my blade, calling, "Tempest Getsuga Tensho!" The wave of sharp liquid sliced through the air at Lucy's neck. She stretched said part of her body backward and downward, then retracted it quickly.

"Gum-Gum Bell!" Her head connected with my forehead, making my cry out. I felt like my own skull was breaking, it hurt so bad.

"Tempest Boxing!" I made the water around my hands swirl faster and I sheathed my kami no kosoru for the moment, leaping into action with a barrage of punches fast enough that it looked like I had multiple arms.

Lucy tensed her muscles again. "Gum-Gum Gatling!" she spat, punching at an equal speed. Our attacks basically canceled each other out, because we were just hitting each others' fists, not the bodies.

I leapt into the air and drew the water from my arms down to my leg, performing multiple front flips. As I came back down, I cried, "Tempest Scythe Foot!" If you want to know what it looked like, I suppose you could compare it to Sanji's Concasser move.

Lucy, however, blocked it with an X-block. Then she jumped backward, back flipping, and kicked upward, stretching her foot so it smashed right into the underside of my jaw, probably breaking my jawbone. I bit my tongue incredibly hard and spat blood as I shot up into the air.

Dammit, I cursed. Even using my Skill Second, I'm totally getting pummeled here! Nami better come quick!

As I fell back down, I drew a large cushion of water for me to land on and not kill myself. I rolled off of it and out of the way of a Gum-Gum Axe, then shot back with a Water Shot that smashed into Lucy's stomach. She coughed and was pushed back.

"Gyaaaaaah!" I roared.

Lucy was so angry she looked like a wild animal. "Hooooooooh!"

We started pummeling each other with kicks and punches again, though I was slowing down from the exertion of fighting so hard. A few of Lucy's attacks found their marks, weakening me even more each time. If this kept up, Lucy really was gonna kill me.

Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, who obviously hadn't learned their lesson yet, somehow got back up and charged at us. We simply glared at them and yelled in unison, "STAY OUT OF THIS! YOU'RE IN THE WAY OF OUR FIGHT!" Then we punched them so hard they didn't get back up again and fell to the ground, definitely unconscious this time.

My eye twitched. "Weaklings."

"Who were those guys?" Lucy grunted.

I wiped a trickle of blood away from my eye; one of her punches had opened up a small cut above it. "Agents of Baroque Works, a criminal organization trying to kill Miss Wednesday and Igarappoi."

"Oh. Glad we took 'em out then."

"Now then..." I said, tasting blood, which was somehow both warm and cold at the same time, in my mouth. I hoped my leather jacket wasn't too dirtied up. "Back to the fight!"

She twisted and sneered at me. "YEAH!"

We seized each other up, then jumped into action again. But before we could restart our battle, an exasperated cry of "STOP IT!" and a hard hit to the back of our heads made me black out.

When I came to, I had been propped up against a wall beside a crate, which Zoro was sitting against. Nami was talking to a desperate-looking Vivi and Lucy was laughing about how we should've told her about the bounty hunters before. The sun was just poking its crown over the horizon, throwing a strange glow of light and dark around the cacti of Whiskey Peak. My head was throbbing again, but this time because of Nami's angry fist. That redheaded navigator could be scary sometimes.

"We did tell you about them," I muttered. "You just didn't listen, as usual."

"Eh?" She blinked and looked at me. "Oh, you're awake!"

"I knew that, dumbass."

Zoro snorted. "You're just weak. Why else would you have let that sea witch knock you out so easily?"

"YOU THREE, URUSAI!" Nami barked, effectively making all of us quieter than... than... well, something really quiet. She turned to Vivi sweetly. "Now, then. That's our offer. We want 1,000,000,000 belli to escort you there safely. You saw how strong these guys are, right? Quite a bargain, don't ya think?"

I choked. "One... one billion belli!? How the hell do you expect her to pay that!? To pay much of anything!? Her country's in turmoil, here!"

"If you don't zip it I'm gonna hit you..." the navigator hissed, glaring at me hard enough to make me cow from continuing.

Vivi nodded, looking a little shocked that I knew about her kingdom, but also worried for said kingdom. "He... er, she's right. That sum is impossible for me to pay. Have the rest of you heard of a country named Alabasta?"

The rest of the Straw Hats present blinked.

"No," Nami admitted.

Vivi looked down at the hay bale she was sitting on and clenched her fists, her body shaking under her green fur coat. She took a deep breath. "It was a great pillar of civilization," she began. "A land of peace. Long ago, that is."

"Long ago?" the local ginger repeated, her voice suddenly much smaller. "...And now?"

I furrowed my brow in concern. Vivi looked so sad, and even though she'd been acting like a bitch these past few days I'd known her, I knew that she was really a nice, caring, thoughtful woman. It hurt me to see a friend, even a future friend, looking so down in the dumps.

"It's a desert kingdom on the verge of civil war. In recent years, a call for revolution has emerged. The citizens began committing acts of insurrection, causing the land to fall into utter chaos. But one day, I heard the name of a secret organization: Baroque Works." The bluenette looked up at us, suddenly fuming in anger at the mere thought of the crime syndicate's name. "I discovered that they were responsible for inciting the rebellion. Aside from this, however, I was unable to procure any further information."

She went on to explain how she managed to find out the leader of Baroque Works, Mr. 0's, real name and cause for inciting the revolution: To seize the Alabastan throne. She wasn't telling us Mr. 0's name because she was worried that he'd come after us if we knew it, which he would, of course.

"I must return to my country and tell my people the truth!" Princess Vivi told us. "I must stop them from joining the insurrection! Otherwise... otherwise..." she trailed off.

I nodded grimly. "Otherwise your country will be his for the taking."

Nami frowned. "A, so desu ka... so that's what's going." She sighed in disappointment. "It finally makes sense now. If you're on the verge of a civil war, you can't pay the 1,000,000,000 belli, can you? Money must be scarce."

My eye twitched. "THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT!?"

"This Nami the sea witch we're talking about here," Zoro pointed out. "Of course it is."

"Good point."

Lucy blinked. "Oi, so who's the mastermind?"

I sighed. "We already explained this, Lucy-chan..."

Vivi absolutely freaked out. "The b-boss's true identity!? No way! I can't tell you that!" she protested quickly, hardly taking a breath. Nami's expression slowly went from disappointment to slightly worried to mini-panic mode. "He would hunt you down if you found out his name!"

"Oh, well, we wouldn't want that!" Nami laughed weakly. "And of course, trying to take over a whole nation... he must be an incredibly strong guy, right?"

Lucy was pouting, clearly upset that she wouldn't be allowed to battle such an opponent.

"Yes, he is," the double crossing Baroque Works agent agreed. "No matter how strong you may be, there's no way you could even hope to touch him! One of the Shichibukai, the Seven Warlords... CROCODILE!"

There was an awkward pause.

Suddenly Nami and Vivi gasped in horror, the redheaded navigator screeching, "YOU JUST TOLD US HIS FREAKING NAME!"

There was a strange, somewhat comical, drum-like sound and then a wail like, "AAAAOOOOO." All of us blinked and looked around before the wail came again, and we were able to pinpoint it. We looked at the top of the building, above Nami and Lucy. Sitting there casually was a giant vulture and a weird type of rodent I couldn't place.

They flew off.

Nami cried anime tears and started shaking the hell out of a helpless Vivi, who just croaked apologies the entire time. "WHAT'S WITH THE OTTER AND VULTURE?!" she moaned, face shark like. "ONE OF THE SHICHIBUKAI IS GONNA BE AFTER US NOW!"

Lucy grinned in excitement and looked at us, eyes sparkling. "She said 'Shichibukai!'"

Zoro smirked. "Not bad!"

"WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO US!?"

"I wonder what desert food tastes like..." I mused.

"I bet it's yummy," my captain commented dreamily.

"SORRY WON'T DO US ANY GOOD!" Nami was screeching, still shaking the poor princess. "NOW YOU'VE GOTTEN US MIXED UP IN ALL OF THIS!"

I raised my eyebrow. "But we would've been mixed up in it whether she told us his name or not. After all, we're escorting her, and she knows his name, so he would've automatically put us on his hit list, too."

"URUSAI, YOU!"

I froze, my lips suddenly glued together. "Yes, ma'am."

Nami released Vivi, collapsing to the street in tears and stuffing her face in her hands. "We just made it to the Grand Line and now I'm marked for death by one of the Shichibukai... Why me?"

"We're pretty lucky to get to fight one so soon," Zoro put in.

I grinned and pounded my fists together. "Crocodile won't stand a freakin' chance! You know, it's not surprising Crocodile is trying to take over a kingdom. If I had a name like that, I would be trying to make people loyal to me anyway I could, too."

"Wonder what he's like!" Lucy said.

Nami face-faulted. "WILL YOU THREE SHUT THE HELL UP!?" She stomped off down the street next to the river running through town. "Though it wasn't for long, it was nice knowing you all!"

"Where are you going?"

"They don't know my face yet, so I'm outta here!"

Suddenly the otter from before appeared, scratching something out on a pad of paper with a pencil. It flipped the pad over and showed it to us, bringing out a picture of Nami, me, Lucy, and Zoro. The swordsman in his picture had a kinda stupid look on his face, I looked like I was sleeping in it, and Lucy just kinda looked bored, while the art-Nami was smiling and happy.

Our real-life navigator clapped. "Wow, you're good!"

The vulture and otter flew away again.

"WAIT, NO! NOW I CAN'T EVEN RUN AWAY!?"

I sweatdropped. "And she says I'm bipolar."

"Where were you gonna run to, anyway?" Zoro deadpanned.

"I'm so sorry!" Vivi repeated. Was that like her new personal mantra or something?

"That guy's pretty good!" Lucy approved.

The swordsman smirked. "In any case, the four of us have been added to the Baroque Works Death List."

Our captain giggled. "This is so exciting!"

"Let's beat some alligator-reject ass!" I cheered.

Nami collapsed to the ground miserably, a blackish purple aura of depression around her. Vivi tried to make her feel better. "I... I have savings... about 500,000 belli! ...Uh..."

"Do not worry!" said the voice of Igarappoi. No, wait, it was Igaram. Vivi had told us all about how he'd helped her infiltrate Baroque Works and uncover Crocodile's secrets. We all turned. Sure enough, the curly-haired old man was standing a little ways down the street in an oversized version of the light green fur coat and blue swimsuit-thing Vivi was carrying four dummies under his arms. He also had smeared on some red lipstick. My eye twitched. He looked butt ugly. "Fear - -" he began, but coughed. "Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah! Ahem. Fear not, for I have a plan!"

"What are those clothes for?" Vivi asked, mystified, as she got up with Lucy and examined Igaram's new attire. Lucy was more awed than confused, though, and seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Nice, ossan!" she laughed, feeling his coat. "You'll fool anyone with that!"

"And just who will he be fooling...?" Zoro asked, his own expression fixed in disgust.

"My God..." Nami swore, still in her depressed mode. "I'm surrounded by bakas."

I hit her over the head. "Don't use the Lord's name in vain!"

"Vivi-sama," Igaram said solemnly, "Baroque Works' information network will soon receive that report. Once they learn that we are the ones who found out the Boss's true identity... you understand what will happen, don't you?"

The princess nodded. "As many as a thousand hunters could soon be coming after us."

Nami face-faulted and turned around, her face horrified. I wouldn't be surprised if she would either start crying or punch one of us in the face.

"That's why I have dressed in the manner of the Princess," the old man agreed. Lucy started poking the dummies childishly. "I will depart with these dummies and travel on a straight course for Alabasta."

My straw hatted idiot - - er, sorry, captain - - blinked. "These are US?"

"Decoys," Zoro corrected helpfully.

I shook my head. "Ya know, if you wanted to disguise yourself as Vivi, you could've actually died your hair blue? And you might want to give one of those dummies a straw hat, and give another three swords and a green head."

"Oi," the Marimo complained. "You wanna go!?"

Igaram nodded, ignoring us. "Once they have began pursuing me, Vivi-sama and yourselves can depart safely for Alabasta. They do not yet know that there are others in your crew, so they will be looking for four people, not seven."

"NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE!" Nami roared. "Who said we would take the princess anywhere!? We still don't have a contract!"

"She's a friend," I said through gritted teeth. "A contract isn't necessary."

Lucy raised her eyebrows. "Take the princess? What's that about?"

I facepalmed. "We've just been talking about it for the past five or ten or whatever minutes, baka!"

"Weren't you listening to them?" Zoro asked.

"This is Lucy we're talking about. Clearly she wasn't."

"True, true." The swordsman got to his feet and stretched. "This ossan here wants us to take her - -" he pointed to Vivi "- - home."

She nodded sagely. "Ah, so that's what they're on about! Okay."

...And cue the demoness. "CROCODILE'S GONNA TRY AND KILL US, YA KNOW!"

"He'll try to kill us whether we take Vivi or not," I pointed out.

Lucy looked at Igaram. "This Crocodile, is he really that strong?"

"He is currently one of the Shichibukai," he reminded her. "Though as a government-sanctioned kaizokou, he is no longer on their wanted list, his old bounty was 80,000,000 belli."

I whistled appreciatively. "I knew that already, but... not bad!"

"80 MILLION!?" our navigator cried. "That's FOUR times Arlong's! TURN HIM DOWN!"

"Will you accept?"

"Sure. Sounds like fun."

Nami looked like she would never be able to relax again.

Igaram sighed in relief and grinned. "You have my utmost gratitude."

We walked to the shore on the far side of the cacti, which we found out were actually huge hills with gravestones of all the people the bounty hunters of Whiskey Peak had killed and/or captured. Vivi looked a little disturbed at that, and I felt a bit sick in my stomach, but we passed through the path without much excitement, thank goodness. Otherwise Nami never would've let us hear the end of it.

We reached the end of the island and Igaram stepped into a simple ship that didn't seem like much more than a fishing boat.

"Mah ~ Mah ~ Maaaah!" he coughed. "Ahem! Well then, I, Vivi, shall be leaving here now."

Lucy giggled. "Shishishi! Ossan, you're just like her!"

Zoro and I sweatdropped. "In what way?"

He held out his hand, careful not to overturn the small boat. "Now, Princess, please hand me the Eternal Pose." Vivi started digging around in her pocket and brought out what looked like a Log Pose, except an almost hour-glass-like case surrounding it.

Nami was mystified. "Eternal Pose?"

"I'll try to explain," Igaram sighed, probably thinking about Lucy's simple naivety. "It is an eternally preserved version of a Log Pose. A Log Pose guides you from one island to the next, but an Eternal Pose never forgets the magnetic location of the single island it is set to. It shall 'eternally' point towards that island, hence its name. And this one points the way to Alabasta, our home island."

Lucy nodded. "A, so desu ka. So it's a mystery compass!"

I facepalmed. "No, you baka! He just explained it! Instead of pointing to multiple islands, an Eternal Pose always points to the same island."

"Oh."

Vivi looked at her friend seriously. "With this, you can get to Alabasta."

He closed his eyes. "Vivi-sama, after making a few stops, please hurry to Alabasta. I have never done it myself, but I am certain that you can follow the Log two or three times to get there." He looked at each of us in turn. We were all grinning, or in Zoro's case, smirking. "And with that, I leave the princess in your care."

"Sure!" agreed Lucy.

"Igaram..." murmured the ex-Baroque Works agent. She bit her lip worriedly.

"I know the journey will be dangerous," he assured her, smiling, "but I'll be fine. Please be careful along the way."

"Iga - -"Vivi trailed off and shook her head. Then she smiled and clasped hands with the old man, nodding. "You, too."

As Igaram set sail, there was a warm feeling in the air that had nothing to do with the rising sun chasing away the cool night breeze. Igaram's boat cut through the water as easily as butter through a knife, and he inched closer and closer to the horizon, grinning back at us the whole way. The light wind ruffled my leather jacket and now-long hair.

"Well, he's gone," Lucy remarked, arms folded behind her straw hat. "He was a cool ossan, wasn't he?"

Vivi smiled at her warmly. It was hard to imagine her as the bitchy girl we'd traveled here with. When she was truly happy, she looked like a totally different person. "Hai. We can count on him."

I gave her a thumbs-up, feeling very cool indeed. "You can count on us, too, Vivi-chan! Believe it!"

In a totally different universe, a blonde ninja with whisker-like markings on his face suddenly sneezed. He blinked. "I think someone just stole my catchphrase..." he whined, pouting.

The good moment was cut short, however, by a sudden flourish of a thousand hands. Our eyes widened in horror as... as... as Igaram's ship freakin' BLEW UP OUTTA NOWHERE!

The poor desert princess was beside herself with concern. "Iga... IGARAM!"

Lucy gritted her teeth and turned around, starting to run away. "He... HE WAS A GOOD MAN!"

"Dammit!" I cursed. "They caught up to us so quickly?!" I'd forgotten the little fact that Robin shows up and blows up Igaram until just now. Then I remembered something else. He hadn't actually died, whether the archaeologist had planned for it to happen that way or not.

Still... that was in the original plot. Who knew what my being here could change?

"Shit!" Nami swore.

Zoro turned to her. "Nami! The Log!"

She checked it and gave a thumbs-up, though she was still glaring out at the sea as if she could kill the perpetrator of Igaram's 'death' with her gaze. "It's already set. We can escape."

"Grab her! Get to the ship!"

"Vivi! Vivi!"

I didn't see much else, because I was already in full sprint for the Going Merry, but I did hear the swordsman order Lucy and I to grab Sanji and Usopp, who were still snoozing away in the party room like the morons they were. We nodded and tore off.

When we found them, Lucy wrapped her arms around Sanji's feet and I groped down for the nearest handhold on Usopp that I could find - - which happened to be his abnormally large nose. We crashed out of the room and took off for the ship again, waking them up.

"WE'RE LEAVING!" Lucy announced loudly.

The sniper and cook bounced roughly behind us.

"WHAH DE HELL AWE YOU DOING, DIAMOND-CHAN!?" Usopp screeched. "DAT'S MY DOSE! YOU'RE GONNA BWEAK IT!"

Finally, we found the ship. Zoro had already pulled up the anchor and was getting ready to lower the sails. "Oi, Zoro!" Lucy called. "We got 'em!"

"Get on!" he told us. "We're ready to go!"

I gritted my teeth as I thought about the supposedly dead cross-dresser. "Dammit! We'd better leave right this moment or else we're gonna end up like Igaram!"

We scurried up the ladder, dragging Usopp and Sanji with us, since they had fallen unconscious from the bumpy ride somewhere along the way, much to Lucy's confusion. As we boarded the Merry, Vivi and Nami came tearing out of one of the streets of Whiskey Peak. The desert princess looked distraught and Nami was trying to make her see sense.

"We can't look for him!" she told the bluenette. "We have to go now!"

Vivi bit her lip again. "But I can't leave him here all alone!"

"Oi, what's wrong?" Zoro called down to them.

"She says that her spot-billed duck is missing! Apparently it should've come when she whistled, but we can't find it!"

I heard a quack somewhere to my left and blinked. A huge duck was sitting on the upper deck near the figurehead, looking very annoyed. Zoro rubbed his chin.

"Ya mean that duck? He was onboard before I got here."

"Carue!"

"Smart duck," I said, a little impressed.

Both Nami and Vivi tic-pulsed and went shark-like. "YOU WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME?!" they exploded.

The desert princess started climbing up the ladder. "If we sail down this river, we'll be able to go through the island," she informed us. "We'll be able to get on course faster." She lifted herself up onto the ship, Nami right behind her.

Lucy and I unfurled the sails.

"YOSHA!" my captain declared. "LET'S GO!"

The sails caught wind and the Merry started moving downstream. Everyone took their respectful positions, except for Usopp and Sanji, who were still knocked out.

"Oi," Zoro said, walking down the steps from the bathroom to the lower deck.

Vivi blinked and looked at him. "Mr. Bushido!"

"Just how many hunters are we talking about?" he asked. "How many guys might we have to fight?"

She and the duck frowned thoughtfully. "I don't know," Vivi admitted. "Baroque Works has about two thousand employees, but most of them have about the same power as the bounty hunters you fought last night. Oh, and I've heard that there are more villages like Whiskey Peak in this area."

"Hontou, 2,000 people?" Nami gasped.

I smirked. "If you think that's a lot, just wait until we face an army of 100,000 fishmen!"

"100,000 FISHMEN!?"

Usopp's eyes fluttered open and he looked about in confusion. "O-Oi... we're on the ship... and it's moving...?"

The navigator glared at him dangerously. "You're finally up?"

"MATTE!" Sanji complained, adamant in his lady-chasing endeavors. "Let us stay another night!" Usopp nodded quickly and the cook continued. "This town was so much fun and the girls were SO CUTE!"

"WHEN WILL WE FIND ANOTHER AWESOME PLACE LIKE THIS!?" Usopp demanded.

I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. "Ah, I'd say... never."

"MY POINT EXACTLY!"

"LET'S TAKE IT SLOW, DAMMIT! WE'RE KAIZOKOU!"

"IT'S NOT EVEN MORNING YET!"

I sweatdropped. "The sun's rising, baka. It's morning."

Zoro facepalmed as the two continued with their complaining. "Those bakas still don't know what's going on..."

-BAM! BAM! BONG! BAM!-

"They understand now!" reported Nami sweetly, her fist a bit red.

"That was quick..." the swordsman muttered.

"Yeah, well, I skipped the boring details."

I shivered. "Remind me never to get on Nami's bad side."

After about fifteen minutes, the two beat-up morons recovered themselves and went to work, though they still grumbled about not getting to stay. Sanji went in to the kitchen and made us a quick, simple pancake-and-sausage breakfast, which we didn't even bother eating in the dining room, and we all hang around on the upper deck. Finally, as the fog returned to the island, we were able to make out the end of the river in front of us.

Vivi sighed in relief. "We're about to leave the island. We're safe."

"Sugoi!" Lucy cheered. "Fog!"

I sweatdropped at her antics. "It's just fog! There's nothing cool about it, except it's temperature!"

"It'll be morning soon," Nami mused.

"Like I've said before, it's morning already... nobody listens to me around here..."

"Well," someone said, so quietly I almost couldn't catch them, "it's a good thing you've gotten away from your pursuers!"

The navigator nodded. "Yeah, it is."

"Watch out for the shallows so you don't strike the hull."

"You can count on me!" There was an awkward silence, then we all looked at Lucy. "Eh..." Nami said. "Was that you, Lucy?"

"Ne?"

We looked at the back of the lower deck. A woman dressed all in purple and wearing an equally purple dress sat on a barrel. She had flowing black hair, almost a dark blue color, and half of her face was shadowed by her hat. The woman had a rather large bust, even bigger than Lucy's and (jeez, this is awkward saying this) my own. She wasn't wearing any lipstick. Her fingers drummed against her tan, almost brown, cheek. "Nice ship," she approved.

Nami freaked out.

"Wh-Who's that?!" Zoro demanded.

"N-Nico Robin!" Vivi gasped in recognition.

My eyes lit up. "SUGOI! Nico Robin, the woman who has escaped the clutches of the World Government for almost thirty years! Unjustly nicknamed the 'Demon Child' because the government hates her and given an 89,000,000 belli bounty for something she didn't do! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!?"

Nami hit me over the head hard. "BAKA! DON'T ASK FOR THE AUTOGRAPHS OF STOWAWAYS!"

Lucy blinked. "Eh? Is she a good guy?"

Robin chuckled, amused. "You want my autograph? I must say, I have met many people in my lifetime, but none have said that. Regardless... no, you may not."

I immediately sunk to the deck, a cloud of depression hanging over me. "This sucks..."

She tilted her head and smirked. "I saw Mr. 8 not too long ago, Miss Wednesday."

Vivi's face was ashen. "You killed Igaram!"

"Even if you did," Lucy yelled, pointing at her, "why the hell are you on my ship? Who are you?"

"What are you doing HERE!?" Vivi demanded. "MISS ALL SUNDAY!"

"Miss All Sunday?" Nami repeated. "Which number's partner is it this time?"

"Crocodile's..." I said helpfully, still in my state of utter depression.

"EH!? THE BOSS'S PARTNER!?"

"So she's a bad guy," Lucy decided.

Vivi nodded. "She is the only one allowed to know the Boss's true identity and live. We shadowed her in order to find out who he really was."

"Or to be more precise," Robin corrected her, "I allowed you to shadow me."

Lucy tilted her head. "So she is a good guy?"

Vivi clenched her fists and glared up at the purple-clad archaeologist. "I knew that! And then the one who informed the Boss of his exposed identity... was none other than YOU, wasn't it!?"

"Correct."

"So she's a bad guy," my captain grumbled, confused.

"Just drop it," I muttered, banging my head on the floor in depression. "You're confusing the hell outta the situation..." I pretty much stopped paying attention there, wallowing in my self pity, but I was drawn back into the conversation when I heard the sound of glass breaking and Lucy shouting.

"OI!" she was shouting. "YOU DON'T DECIDE THE ROUTE FOR THIS SHIP! ONLY I DO!"

"I see," chuckled Robin. "Too bad, then."

"Damn you..." Nami growled, face twitching at Lucy, who was on the ground for some reason, sitting up and straightening her hat.

"She blew up the chikuwa ossan," the black haired pirate explained. "I hate her."

The purple-clothed intruder just smiled and started walking to the port side of the Merry, saying, "Well, I don't hate those with high spirit. May we meet again under more acceptable circumstances."

"NO!"

Robin nodded and jumped off the ship. "Let's go, Banchi."

I blinked, forgetting my depression. "Banchi? Who's that?" We ran over to look off the side of the Merry, and what we saw made our jaws drop. An enormous turtle was swimming there, with a purple and yellow shell and something like a built-in cockpit. Robin landed lightly in the cockpit thing, a canvas umbrella-like thing rising up over her. She sat down in the white seat of the cockpit and the turtle swam away.

"W-What's that!?" Zoro gasped.

Usopp freaked. "Is that thing a Sea King!? Matte, no, it's... WHOA! A TURTLE!"

Lucy was impressed. "That is one HUGE turtle!"

"WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS CRAZY SEA SO FREAKIN' HUGE!?" I complained, tic-pulsing.

Vivi collapsed to the deck. "That... that woman! I can never understand what she's thinking!"

"Then trying to understand is a waste of time," Nami told her.

"Yeah," Zoro agreed, motioning at Lucy, who was still peering out at the enormous turtle. "We've got people like that on the ship already." His snide comment went unnoticed by our idiotic captain.

Usopp pouted. "Oi, can someone please explain this to me? I have absolutely no idea what's going on!"

"Oh~! Miss Wednesday, are you going to be one of our nakama now?" Sanji cooed in delight.

"Oi, will someone please explain... NANI!? WE HAVE AN OSTRICH NOW!?" Carue quaked loudly in response. "What the hell's going on?"

"SO SLOW!" Nami roared, smacking the long nosed moron again. She was wearing a white shirt with blue sleeves now, and I had changed out of the... revealing... horrid pink shirt that the navigator had forced me into, opting for a much more comfortable sports bra and dark green shirt with the number 18 on it, stating my age. I still wore my usual leather jacket, jeans, and sneakers, though I'd had to get a One Piece brand because my others didn't fit my much smaller feet.

We explained everything to Sanji and Usopp, who both frowned, though for entirely different reasons.

"I see," the love cook mused. "I have done a terrible thing to you. But fear no more, for your knight in shining armor has awakened. I shall make it my duty to ensure your safety." He winked at Nami and I. "Jealous, Nami-chan and Diamond-chan?"

"Not in the slightest," we deadpanned.

"Damn...!" gasped Usopp. "I'm glad I was asleep!"

Vivi bit her lip, a habit she needed to stop, and looked down at the deck. "I've been wondering... is it really okay for me to be on aboard your ship? I don't want to be a burden."

I grinned and folded my hands under my... ugh... breasts. "What are saying? Of course it is!"

Nami, however, was unmoved. She stepped forward and started poking a surprised Vivi in the forehead. "Urusai!" she commanded. "You're the one who got us marked for death by 2,000 people! If you didn't want to be a burden, you shouldn't have done that in the first place!"

"So cold," I said.

"Gomendasai..." muttered Vivi, not wanting to bring on the Demoness of the Going Merry.

"Right, Lucy?" Nami called back to our female captain, who was sitting cross-legged on the railing of the ship beside Usopp. Both froze, a look of fear crossing their faces.

Lucy gulped and pumped her fists in the air. "OH! I'm hungry!"

"But we ate an hour ago..." I pointed out, sweatdropping.

Vivi sweatdropped, too. "I don't think she cares."

Zoro, who had been reclining against railing casually, shrugged. "Well, in any case, we know our next destination now: Little Garden."

"Is it really okay to go there?" Usopp fretted.

I grinned. "If you don't mind a dash of Jurassic Park, yup!"

"What's Jurassic Park?"

"Not telling~!"

"BASTARD!"

"Technically, it's bitch now... since I'm a girl and all..."

"Who cares if it's okay?" Lucy asked dismissively, grinning and pointing out to sea. "Let's go, crew!"

"YOSHA!" we all shouted, though the others were uncertain and Usopp's was a bit late, so it sounded like an echo. Whether we liked it or not, the dawn of a brand new adventure was upon us. And this new, big adventure would decide the fate of a kingdom and its citizens...

Ugh... finally DONE! I swear this was the LONGEST CHAPTER EVER! It was over 8,000 words, man! EIGHT THOUSAND! My fingers are aching just remembering it. It's only that long since I kinda combined a bit of two episodes, but STILL! Phew!

Diamond: I didn't get Robin's autograph... *sniffle*

Nami: Baka! She's a bad guy! WHY DO YOU WANT THE AUTOGRAPH OF A BAD GUY?

Lucy: Adventure, adventure, we're gonna have an adventure~!

Usopp: I think I have I-can't-go-to-the-next-island disease...

Zoro: Baka.

Vivi: We have to get to Alabasta or else thousands of people could die!

Sanji: Ah~! Vivi-chan is so brave and beautiful~!

Well, okay. Time for all of this crap. Follow or favorite if you liked the story so far and haven't done either of those yet! Also, please leave a review saying what you liked, didn't like, or think I could change in the future! Please note that although popularity is appreciated, it IS NOT NECESSARY! 'Kay, I'm outta here. I'm sick and I've gotta go to bed.

-TheRealEvanSG