Chapter 10 - "Kiamo Ko"
I could never quite love Liir like a mother should, but in my own way I recognized him as my son, putting him higher in my quickly shrinking heart.
I thought I could perhaps be better at life, deal with this shorthand I've been given, if only I was forgiven for Fiyero's death. I did not believe in the Unnamed God, I did not want his silent forgiveness, so there was only Sarima to go to.
When I first reached the castle ... well, I was quite a sight, I suppose. Showing up all green and stony cold in the eyes, weathered and looking as if life just didn't matter anymore. With a trailing of Liir, so young, carrying my bags if only to get some sort of reaction from me. It was raining and I was stuffed tight into my cloak with my hat fixed on top of my head, making sure not a drop touched my sensitive skin. Behind Liir trotted a dog we had acquired during our travels - the animal was very devoted to him.
I held Chistery under my cloak. He was a baby monkey that the dog had tried to attack a few days before we'd reached the castle. Chistery was my new pet, not quite replacing Malky but comforting all the same.
And then, there were the bees.
I guess I'm good with animals. It was a strange talent of mine. I had coaxed some bees to come with me, for honey, of course.
And the crows, too, the crows the Elephant Princess gave me.
I was officially disguised as a Witch.
Despite appearances, one of Sarima's sisters - I forget who, they were all named after numbers and impossible to keep track of - let me in. Apparently, guests were honored and very readily accepted in Kiamo Ko.
Especially if they were single males.
When I first petitioned Sarima and told her of my connection with Fiyero - oh, no, don't look so scandalized! I only said we were college friends.
Well, anyway, she refused to hear me out. I don't know why, she was stubborn and unruly. Her refusal to hear me out angered me so. I think she'd of been better off to know.
Or maybe that's selfish.
I wouldn't tell her my name. It seemed so distant to me then, it was someone else.
So she told her sisters and children to call me "Auntie".
Nor, Irji, and Manek - her ...and Fiyero's ... children, they began to call me "Auntie Witch". Liir took it up too.
As you can imagine, I just loved that. ... Little brats.
Since she would not listen to me, I vowed to stay at the castle until she would. They gladly accepted, giving me free choice of rooms. I chose a far one in a high tower, away from them. Liir slept wherever, whenever, I didn't worry about him.
I know, I know, it's shameful to me.
I lived there for so long; it became almost a home to me. But nothing was solid; nothing would be real again, until I found what I was looking for.
The problem was, I had no idea what I wanted to find.