Song: Falling By The Civil Wars

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised that I am sitting in Christian's newly minted private jet with my son curled up beneath my arm and the man himself across of me. Once Teddy discovered that it was an option, there was no swaying him. Elliot, Kate, and Ava are sleeping in the en suite and Taylor is somewhere with Sawyer and the flight attendant.

I feel so awkward.

I am attempting to read my manuscript and he is busy typing away on his laptop, but I think he is just waiting for an opening so that we can talk at greater length. I've been on the same page for the past thirty minutes and I really have to the bathroom. But I must endure, only four hours to go and the sun will be up soon along with our traveling companions.

"Anastasia?" he says without looking up at me.

"Yes?" I mumble.

"Go pee." He smirks over the laptop screen.

I open my mouth to refute him, but I don't have the energy to argue and hold it in. I gently pry myself from my son and tiptoe off to the bathroom. When I emerge, he is still typing and our son is still asleep.

I know this doesn't work if I play the coward. But personally I think the coward in many of the stories I have read have had extremely redeeming qualities… who am I trying to kid?

"I told you I was sorry about Marcus." He starts in quietly. "It was out of line and I promise not to do it again."

Marcus said much of the same before I shoved him on his flight to Ireland. I know he wasn't being malicious but I cannot for the life of me understand why he thought I would be okay with it. I only accepted his apology after he swore to leave things be and to return my hot curlers in once piece when he returned. But I made sure to explain to him why I was so hurt by his actions, and I guess I owe Christian the same courtesy. There is enough unsaid between us, we need nothing more to fill this void.

I shake my head and re-cover Teddy with the blanket. "I agree that is was out of line. But I need you to know why." I say quietly. "Marcus…he is the only thing in my life that hasn't been tainted by all the crap that has happened between us. As selfish as this sounds, he's mine. He's the one thing I can escape to that has nothing to do us."

He nods and sets his lap top aside. "It was never my intent, and I won't do it again. But you should know that besides that one slip up he didn't tell me anything."

I can feel myself redden at the mention of that one slipup. Whether subconsciously or not, no one wants their ex to have that sort of knowledge. It is embarrassing.

"If it is any conciliation, I dream about you every night." He says with his full focus on our son.

I'm speechless and before I can find any words, he interrupts my stuttering thought process. "And no, they aren't sex dreams." He presses, and I choose to believe him.

"What am I doing?" I ask. It's only fair that I know because he undoubtedly has a clear cut picture about what I dream of.

He knots his fingers in front of him and leans back in his seat while staring out the window at the night sky.

"You…leaving me."

I swallow back the lump in my throat.

"When I saw you at the restaurant, when you said that we could at least be in each other's presence again…the dreams got worst."

"Why?" I ask before I think better of it.

He smiles and turns his attention to me. "I had three long years of your absence and every day I told myself that it would get easier and that I would move on. But it was just a lie to keep myself moving." He runs his thumb over his lip and I suddenly feel as if he is looking past me. "When you came back, it was a quick reminder of all that pain and regret I had when you first left. And suddenly, there was that cold reality that you could leave again and I don't know how I would survive it."

My eyes burn, and I am thankful for the dimmed overhead lights and the lack of audience.

"I never meant to make you feel that way." I choke out. "And you should know that I really do want to move past all of our issues for the sake of the future."

"I know Ana, I know that. But you are the reminder of all the things I had and may never have again."

"I feel as if every time we have this conversation, we talk in circles." I stroke Teddy's curls. "I didn't leave to hurt you. I was becoming this shell of a person, I didn't recognize myself. You didn't deserve a wife like that and Teddy definitely deserve a mother like that. I would have dragged you down with me."

"Ana you could never-"

"But I was." I protest. "You somehow managed to keep control with your eyes closed and ears held tight. You refused to acknowledge what was happening but you felt Christian. I know you did, otherwise you wouldn't have had an affair."

I could see the slight cringe in his eyes and hope that my honesty will quell this situation.

He's quiet for a long while and I can practically hear the gears turning in his head. The similarities between him and Ted are truly startling sometimes.

"How can we be friends? I don't really have friends. And as you know before you, I had never even been in a real relationship." He admits with a shrug.

"I told you, just listen and respect my boundaries." I repeat for the umpteenth time.

"Ana…" he lightly warns.

I take it that I rolled my eyes. "That Christian!" I quietly exclaim. "Things like that. You don't do that, you can't do that. You have to accept the things I say and do and just go with it."

"Kate doesn't just go with it."

"I love Kate, but I don't need another one of her."

"Fair enough." He concedes with a smirk.

I can't think of a good ice breaker, so I just start with the one that works out well with prospective new authors. "So what project are you working on at the moment?"

He cracks a small smile and launches in to the work he has been doing in Africa and the low maintenance clean water technology that is being produced the Germans who have started a not so secret bidding war.

We talk for a while about our respective businesses. It's oddly refreshing to do this because this is the first time it has ever occurred. I could never talk about this sort of thing before without him telling me what to do and criticizing my choices. He's much more attentive than before. Asking me questions, and listening to my frustrations with my legal department. By the end of our conversation, I am absolutely sure that he has been reading our quarterly reviews and I am at peace with the fact that with him I must pick and choose my battles with his controlling ways and in the grand scheme of things, this isn't so bad.

"So Teddy tells me that you both are going to visit Ray?" Christian questions, motioning someone away; I take it that it's Taylor.

I try to smile but the muscles don't move. "Yeah, they are both very excited."

"What's wrong Ana, you don't seem too excited?"

I shift in my seat and debate whether or not I should tell him. But then I remember all of the NSA like resources that he has and decide not to keep it to myself.

"I think something is wrong." I admit. "He doesn't sound well, but he keeps promising that everything is okay."

"You don't believe him?"

"No." I answer quickly. "He's so concerned with Teddy and I's wellbeing that he could be bleeding from a gunshot wound in the street and he wouldn't say a word. Kate says its probably nothing, just male macho. And Marcus didn't say much at all which was odd for him."

Christian leans forward and stares until I return my gaze to him. "Ana, I can look into it for you."

I shake my head and try to rid myself of these uneasy feelings I am carrying with regard to Ray. "It's probably nothing." I try to reason away. I am afraid of what may be found out, of what he could be hiding. And I can't picture my life without him in it… I don't want to think of the possibilities.

"Well if you change your mind, I would be more than willing to help."

I smile in thanks but say nothing else. There is a nice quiet between us and I don't fight it when my eyelids grow heavy and sleep overwhelms me.

###

Watching her sleep is something that I will never cease to enjoy. They both look so peaceful that I would give away half my fortune just to keep the moment going. I'd give the other half just to make Ana see how much I love her, and how I could never blame her for our demise.

A heavy hand slaps me on the back and Elliot pushes into the seat beside me.

"So, I see no bloodshed, no signs of war. You two talk?" he asks, a bit too loud for five in the morning.

"Shhh." I snap. "Yes we talked, it was fine, and you need to keep your voice down."

"Sorry" Elliot whispers. "Just nice to all be together again. Mom is still a bit pissed because we didn't give them enough notice."

I shrug. I don't want to overwhelm Ana with too many Greys. "Maybe it's good that this stays small. I haven't really gotten to spend any time with them together since he was a baby and I would rather be a bit selfish."

He shrugs. "Fine by me, as long as I can ride all the rides and get my picture taken with Mickey Mouse, I'm good." He grins, reclining in the seat.

"Please remember, that this is not this is for my son, and you are nothing more than a tag along." I remind him.

"I got it, but you are a last minute stow away too so don't act so high and mighty."

I shrug. "I know, but I am his father. And dad trumps goofball uncle any say of the week."

"Yeah, well… I'm still riding all the rides. Kate only came because of Ana, so she can watch Ava."

"Is she still sour about all this?" I ask with a grimace. I don't understand why the hell she is still so mad. It's like all this shit happened yesterday and she still wants to gouge my eyes out with a nail file.

"She is just trying to protect Ana."

"From what?" I hiss.

Elliot sighs before whispering. "She's afraid you and her will get back together and that you'll hurt her again."

"I won't, and she needs to mind her business." I grind out.

"Hey, watch it. That's my wife." Elliot chides.

"I still stand by what I said."

Taylor emerges from the front of the plane. "Sir, our ETA is an hour and a half. Breakfast will be served in five minutes and the weather conditions for the next week are clear if a bit muggy."

"Thank you Taylor, I'll start rousing the masses." I say before leaning over and gently shaking Teddy's shoulder.

"I'll go wake my two little princesses."

"Two?" I question with a raised brow.

Elliot hits me a little too hard on the shoulder. " ." he says before disappearing into the en suite.

I gently nudge Teddy again.

"Daddy, stop touching me." He mumbles, attempting to turn over but the seat belt prevents him.

"But we're almost there and they made you pancakes."

His bright blue eyes pop open and he smiles. "Disney?"

"Yes, Disney." I nod, unbuckling his seatbelt and leading him to sit beside me.

"Should we wake mommy?"

I gently run my hand over Ana's arm and watch her stir.

"Mommy get up!" My son exclaims, his delivery much more crass than mine.

Ana stretches before opening her eyes and smiling at Teddy. "I'm up, I'm up."

"We're eating breakfast and then going to see Mickey Mouse, and then going to find Donald, and then Marcia wants us to find Ariel and ask her what hair spray she uses. Then we eat lunch and then…"

I scoop Teddy up and carry him over my shoulder the table set for eating. "Calm down baby boy, we'll see all that stuff in good time."

"Well if in good time isn't soon, I think I'm gonna die."

Ana wraps her arms around him and leans down to kiss his cheek. "That's a bit dramatic, and we'll be there before you know it."

She slides in beside him and I sit on the other side. This is nice, us all together… I miss this more than words can say.

Elliot bounces in with a groggy Ava on his hip and Kate following close behind. I think about swiping all the knives from the table but the moment is gone.

There's a tension in the air all throughout breakfast that persist until we reach the hotel and split up. Not even Elliot and Teddy's idle banter or Ana's attempts to steer conversation into something all inclusive. Nope, it's clear that Kate hates me, but I feel as if it goes so much further than just the events that happened between myself and Ana.

Luckily the hotel provides for conversation in and of itself, and not even Kate can keep that iron jaw from moving. Sadly, Ava is sleep and they refuse to wake her for fear of a crying fit.

Although I suggested upgrading to something with a bit more security, Ana was steadfast that the hotel remained the same and now I see why.

The second we step out of the car it is incredibly clear as to why this resort is named The Art Of Animation. It's practically impossible to keep up with Teddy after check in.

One building is dedicated to the Lion King, which has larger than life gleaming sculpts of Simba and his little meerkat and warthog friends. There's also a replica of the elephant graveyard and those hyena characters.

Ana points out the other areas which he quickly runs to explore the similar Cars area, Finding Nemo area, and the Little Mermaid section. Which he happily reminds us to take pictures of so that we can show Marcus.

When he finally grows a bit tired, we make our way to our rooms. Elliot is in the Cars building, because this trip is more for him than his daughter. Ana, Teddy, and I are in the Finding Nemo building and I still cannot believe our sleeping arrangement.

###

My hand hovers over the door to our suite. Why did I give in to Teddy when he asked this? I really have to get over this divorce/broken family guilt and start saying no a bit more often. But it's hard to upset him regarding this matter when he doesn't fully understand and I don't want him to.

"Mommy, can you please hurry up. I have to go pee." He says with a little dance and I really want to avoid an accident so I quickly open the door and he flies through it.

Christian and I have the bags; Taylor offered to help but there weren't that many and I think Christian wanted him gone. And so both Taylor and Sawyer are surveying the resort and checking on security measures. It wouldn't be necessary if not for the fact that some dirty gossip rag has pictures of us at the aquarium and there are rumors circulating that Christian and I are on the mend.

Now I'm catching glimpses of shutterbugs and even people taking pictures on their phones. Marcus says that the right picture can pay someone's rent and that if ever he can't make a mortgage payment then he'll start selling them himself.

I know he's joking, but at the same time it's all so unsettling and reminds of when Christian and I got married and the fury on his face when he thought someone may have gotten a picture.

According to Elliot he was positively murderous when they got a picture of Teddy playing for some story on society kids, so I really hope everything is quiet on this end.

"Are you sure about this Ana?" He asks quietly. "I can grab another suite."

"Don't be silly." I say more to myself than him. "This is fine, this will be good. It's not like we are sleeping in the same bed."

He chuckles as we enter the suite and set our bags down. It's an adorable room, with the underwater theme all but kicking us in the face. I quickly notice the too expensive to be at a Disney resort bedcoverings and when I look to Christian he is completely unapologetic. But I'm not angry, and really not surprised.

When Teddy comes out of the bathroom and claims the double bed next to his father (I am in a room all by myself), we face the nearly impossible task of telling him that we aren't going to any parks today and that he will have to wait until tomorrow after such a long journey.

He pouts, he wines, he cries a bit and then when we agree to take him to the pool and get him a cheeseburger for lunch, he makes a miraculous recovery.

This could be good…I hope this goes well.

Let me start with sorry. I've been fighting this ear/viral thing that refuses to leave my system and is really uncomfortable so it's kind of been just work and Tylenol pm for the past while because my ears are really bothering and my mood is just blech.

Disney is kind of a hump and it's a bit downhill for a little while but there are still two or three chapters for Disney so let's have a little fun.