Note: My apologies for missing the last few weeks of our Minxaholics Anonymous meetings Ela-land got a little dark where not even the beauty that is Minx could brighten it. But Muse has struck a match offering a flickering light along with the threat of burning out my brain if I don't start getting back to myself. She's one seriously scary….hush up and write Ela!….as you can see Muse still hasn't gotten a handle on her manners….sod the manners give me some Minx Ela. Now! Okay okay calm down, this be chapter 10 folks enjoy.
Warning: There be lady loving ahead so if that's not your cup of tea…..why the hell are you reading this and more to the point what the hell is wrong with you? …Muse!…What? Jez Ela come on any damn fool can see where this is going so could you stop with the stalling already and take us there?….Muse!…Don't Muse me woman just write or I'll light more than a match!…Muse let's get something straight here….no thanks I don't do straight…MUSE shut up and listen I'm the boss….oh Ela I love it when you get all hot and bothered…..dear God save me from my Muse!
Chapter Ten
"Binx why are you so nervous?"
Kendall watched her sister refold a napkin for the fourth time before Bianca finally placed it in the picnic hamper.
"I'm not nervous."
Bianca couldn't meet her older sisters gaze which was a sure sign that she was lying.
"Binx don't make me come over there with this pitcher of water."
The younger woman finally looked up knowing full well that not only would Kendall carry out the threat but that she would more than likely follow it through by throwing said water all over Bianca. Impromptu food and water fights were a Slater family speciality.
"Marissa was a little weird on the phone last night."
"Weird how?"
Bianca frowned.
"I'm not sure but I think she might have admitted she has feelings for me."
Kendall tucked the pitcher of water into the cooler and moved to stand in front of her sister.
"Binx I swear to God when it comes to love I think you might be thee dumbest person I know."
"That's not a very nice thing to say."
Kendall grabbed her sister's hands.
"Would you listen to yourself? Of course the woman has feelings for you they're written all over her face when she looks at you."
Bianca pouted.
"That's not the same."
"Oh really and why is that?"
"Because there is a big difference between lusting after someone and loving them."
Kendall's eyebrows rose in question and Bianca began to blush.
"Are you telling me you've lusted after someone you didn't love?"
"We're not talking about me."
Bianca's deepening blush only served to spur Kendall on.
"Oh we so are. Come on out with it, who was the lucky woman? Or should I say unlucky woman given that she only got your body and not your heart."
"Kendall!"
Kendall couldn't help but laugh; she had always gotten a buzz from embarrassing her baby sister.
"Yes?"
Bianca pulled away feeling the blush spread down her neck and throat.
"I'm not having this conversation with you."
"Binx would you lighten up. You're in love with her, surely hearing that Marissa might feel the same is a good thing."
Frustration etched across Bianca's face.
"It is. Of course it is."
Kendall crossed her arms waiting.
"I guess I'm just afraid."
"Of?"
"Of not being enough for her."
The older woman was shocked at the insecurity in her sister's voice.
"Binx why would you think that?"
Bianca looked up with tears in her eyes; she loved Marissa of that she had no doubt but she had fallen in love with a best friend before and it hadn't worked out, her love hadn't been enough.
"I wasn't enough for Maggie."
Kendall pulled the crying woman into her arms, if Mary Margaret Stone had been anywhere near her Kendall might not have been responsible for what she would do to the doctor.
/
Marissa and Bianca watched in amusement as Kendall encouraged the five kids to get closer to the fence that enclosed a rather grumpy looking goat.
"Is she sure it won't bite?"
Bianca laughed at Marissa's worried question.
"Yeah she's sure, she and Ryan took little Emma up here after he got out of hospital. Kendall's on first name basis with most of the staff."
Marissa nodded.
"Good to know."
The redhead turned to look at her girlfriend. Bianca had been a little quiet in the car.
"You okay Bianca?"
The brunette nodded without making eye contact. Marissa reached for her girlfriend's hand forcing Bianca to finally look at her.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Uh huh. So I guess this talking thing is only one way, I talk you listen. Not sure that's going to work for me."
Bianca frowned.
"I talk."
"Then tell me what's wrong."
Bianca bit her lip.
"Lots of things are wrong Marissa, my Mom is God knows where, there's some looney woman doing a really good job of impersonating her and I have a therapist who makes me want to scream."
Marissa didn't doubt that what she was hearing was true but she sensed it wasn't what was really bothering Bianca right now.
"Mom, Mom did you see that?"
AJ's voice broke the tense moment, Marissa squeezed her girlfriend's hand before stepping across to her grinning son.
"Yeah buddy I saw that. You want to show me again though cause I thought I seen a filling in that goat's mouth. Wonder what dentist he uses."
AJ and Miranda giggled at Marissa's teasing words. Spike turned to look at the redhead.
"Was it gold like Captain Hook's?"
Marissa looked down into smiling brown eyes.
"I'm not sure Spike maybe. How about you try getting him to open up again so I can take a better look?"
Spike shook his head fervently.
"No way his tongue will lick me. Yuckie."
The adults laughed at the disgusted expression on the young boy's face. Kendall patted her son's head before lifting his brother Ian so that she could take him closer to the goat. Gabrielle followed her aunt closely her little face lighting up when Ian stuck his hand out and touched the goats hairy chin.
"Me too aunt Kendall."
Marissa didn't hesitate to get down on her hunkers to meet little brown eyes.
"How about I be your lift?"
Gabrielle looked curiously at the redhead for several seconds.
"You won't drop me?"
Marissa shook her head.
"No I'll hold tight until you tell me to let you down again."
Gabrielle glanced back at Bianca who was standing several feet away smiling encouragingly; the little girl had been shy around Marissa and both women wondered if maybe that would change. Little brown eyes smiled at Bianca before Gabrielle turned back to the redhead and held out her arms. Marissa felt a sense of pride in having Bianca's youngest daughter trust her. She lifted Gabrielle up and brought her across to the fence. The peels of laughter that broke free from the little girl when she touched the goats beard made another chamber within Marissa's heart open up and release love. The redhead turned back to look at Bianca; brown eyes glistened at the love shining so bright in hazel orbs.
/
Bianca sat on the couch in Wildwind watching her daughters show AJ the books Reese had sent home from France. Gabrielle yawned several times, her little head threatening to droop onto AJ's shoulder. The older boy looked at her with a smile.
"It's okay I can be your pillow."
Marissa grinned at her son, he was such a sweetie when it came to the Montgomerys. She turned to Bianca seeing the warm smile that lit up the brunette's beautiful face.
"Well that was a hoot but I should really get AJ home, I think Gabby isn't the only one in need of a pillow."
Bianca nodded, Miranda's eyes were practically closing too but her little head perked up when she heard Marissa's voice.
"Can AJ stay with us tonight?"
Marissa's gaze darted from her son who nodded furiously to her girlfriend who looked like she might be trying to catch flies. Miranda's tired eyes pleaded with her mother.
"Please Mommy, he can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep with Gabby. It'll be fun."
"Yeah Mom, you can sleep over too it'll be so much fun."
The two mothers looked at each other, Bianca's face began to relax.
"It's good with me if it's good with you."
Marissa grinned at Bianca.
"Oh it's definitely good with me."
Miranda and AJ started to high five the action only serving to rouse the sleeping Gabrielle whose wide brown eyes stared around in confusion beginning to glisten until they found her mother. Bianca crossed the room to lift her baby into her arms.
"Hi Giddy G let's get you to bed."
Gabrielle was too tired to object, she settled her head on her mother's shoulders and drifted back to sleep.
"Miranda why don't you show AJ to the bathroom. I want two sets of clean teeth. There are some new toothbrushes in the bottom drawer."
Miranda tugged her friend off the couch and the two disappeared from the room. Marissa caught her girlfriend's arm as Bianca moved by the armchair on her way towards the stairwell.
"Are you sure this is okay?"
Bianca's response was a warm smile.
/
"AJ's probably going to want to keep those Pjs, he's nuts about the Cars movies."
Bianca handed her grinning girlfriend a glass of wine.
"Miranda too, Reese took her to see the second one when she was home. I think they might both be a little car mad."
Marissa sank down on the couch and patted the cushion next to her; Bianca gladly sank down too and leaned into the redhead.
"I had fun today."
Bianca giggled at the exaggerated excitement in Marissa's voice.
"I had so much fun too."
The two mothers laughed, their kids had been nothing short of adorable when they'd pulled that stunt.
"You know I think they're onto us."
Bianca turned so that she could look at her girlfriend.
"And how do you feel about that?"
Marissa was sure that it was a loaded question but she couldn't understand why.
"I'm glad. How do you feel about it?"
The brunette sucked in her top lip an action that Marissa now knew meant Bianca was uneasy.
"Bianca just tell me how you feel, my conversation with AJ made me happier than I've been since I got to dance with you last weekend and I'd hoped you'd be the same."
Bianca's eyes darkened with emotion, she had loved having Marissa hold her on the dance floor.
"The dancing was good wasn't it?"
"Good? Good is average, what it was was perfect."
Marissa watched how her words made the brunette's breath hitch, she leaned in and captured sighing lips for a gentle kiss.
"You are perfect Bianca, so perfect."
Bianca let herself feel that praise and for several moments she sat there basking in the look that shone from Marissa's eyes. She wanted this so much, had wanted it from the moment Louise had opened her eyes to how she felt about Marissa. Could it really be happening? Could the redhead really feel the same?
"Talk to me baby."
"You're my best friend."
Marissa frowned.
"I thought I was more than that."
Bianca shook her head.
"You are, you really are. This isn't coming out right."
Marissa sat her wine on the floor so that she could wrap both arms around the troubled brunette.
"Then let's take it from the beginning. I'm your best friend, I plan to always be your best friend."
"I've lost three best friends because my feelings for them changed. I don't think I could bear to lose another."
Marissa felt her eyes begin to sting at the fear in those quiet words.
"Bianca baby you're not going to lose me. This isn't some fling for me, how I feel for you it's more than I've ever felt for anyone."
Bianca's eyes widened at the heartfelt words and Marissa leaned in for a kiss that was filled with all of the passion she felt for the brunette. They were both a little breathless when she pulled away.
"That is only a drop in the ocean of how much you make me feel. I've been hurt Bianca, just like you, I've had someone I love hurt me in the worst of ways. So I've tried to be cautious with my heart, I thought I could place it inside a protective cage so that if I got hurt again the damage wouldn't be so devastating. But I can't cage how I feel for you, I can't stop my heart from falling a little bit more in love with you every time I see you or hear your lovely voice."
The brunette's eyes began to glisten.
"I've loved you as a friend since the moment you put your arms around me in David's room that day. I've loved you as a best friend from the day we had our snowball fight and you told me not to go after Reese because you wouldn't risk JR using the same tactic on me. And I've loved you as so much more than that when I realised that not having you in my life made me feel like the sun had been switched off. Those four days Bianca, those four days after we went back to the yacht club they were hell on earth. Not seeing you, not being able to just gaze into your lovely eyes or hear your beautiful voice it felt like torture to me. I physically hurt from it. All I wanted to do was rush over here and tell you I love you but I couldn't because I knew you needed time with the girls, time to give yourself a chance to heal from what that sick man had done to you."
Tears began to leak from the brunette's eyes and Marissa gently wiped them away.
"I tried to give you that time, really I did but after four days of feeling like my heart was being ripped out of my chest I had to come to you. And I would have told you there and then how I felt but things turned crazy and I didn't want to put more pressure on you when you were already under so much. I know this is new and that we've only been officially dating for less than a month but Bianca that month has been heaven to me. You are heaven to me and now that I know how it feels to be in heaven I can't go back to where I was before, I don't ever want to."
Bianca smiled through her tears.
"I love you too."
Marissa giggled softly making her girlfriend lift a brow in question.
"I guess I should have given you the condensed version too."
Bianca shook her head.
"No I'm glad you didn't. I'm sorry I got scared."
Marissa put her finger on her girlfriend's lips.
"Don't apologise, you've every reason to feel scared. Falling in love is a scary thing especially with history like ours. But we're there now Bianca, you feel it and I feel it and our kids can see it. This is special, you are special and I'm going to spend as long as it takes making sure you know that I'm not going to hurt you. Not like that, not ever."
Bianca took Marissa's hand in hers and pulled the redhead to her feet. The journey to Bianca's room was in silence, each footstep deepening the longing in Marissa's soul. At the bedside the brunette turned to gaze at the smaller woman.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Marissa drew the heart shaped face into her hands.
"Baby I've been waiting for this all my life, I'm ready. I'm more than ready."
Bianca surged forward bringing their lips together for a hauntingly hungry kiss. Marissa felt hands seek out her waist and slide beneath her top, she felt fingers tease and sear her skin with sparks of fire and all the while Bianca's mouth taught hers how to really kiss.
It seemed like only seconds passed before they were falling to the bed striving to connect their bodies with the same passion that connected their lips. It felt to Marissa like Bianca was everywhere, pouring onto and into her through her very pores. It was more than anything she had felt before.
Bianca pulled her mouth away from torturous lips and gulped in breath. The hunger in her felt overpowering, she wanted to consume the redhead, to make Marissa hers in every way. Her eyes savoured the body beneath hers, God Marissa was flawless.
"You're stunning."
A rush of red swam over Marissa's upper chest and onto her face. The sight had Bianca transfixed.
"I love your blushes."
Marissa pulled the brunette back to her, her body needing more contact.
"And I love you, all of you."
The words were the catalyst that set free Bianca's hold on all her hopes and dreams. Marissa loved her, loved all of her. The brunette lost herself in that love, lost herself in Marissa's touch and taste, in loving the beautiful redhead the way Bianca had hoped and dreamed of doing. When Marissa cried out in pleasure and clutched Bianca to her fiercely the brunette realised that dreams did come true.
Brown eyes looked into hazel recognising now the look that was shining from within; love, it was love, so much love. Marissa reversed their position and the brunette gasped softly her eyes rolling at the pleasure that shot through her. Lips settled on Bianca's throat, kisses peppered along it until they were moving up her chin and then onto her mouth. It was all so overpowering, Marissa's weight, her touch, her pace, her heat, her heart it all combined to topple Bianca over the edge into an oblivion that felt like something beyond wonderful.
Bianca did not scream, nor did she moan or shout or gasp. She shuddered silently, tears spilling from her eyes as her body succumbed to pleasure. Marissa felt those shudders and knew without opening her eyes that her lover was crying.
"I love you Bianca. I love your past and your present and I will love your future. Our future."
When Bianca finally found the will to open her eyes she saw that love.