The Light In Your Eyes

by Maddylovesyou

A light that is so precious. A light that brings hope and can change any situation from dire to okay. A light that one would kill for. Killua would certainly kill for him.

10. Chapter 10

"Wow there's so many flavors to choose from!" Gon looks at the large menu of ice cream options on the wall behind the counter. After thirty minutes of just walking around looking for ice cream they finally found this small little shop. Killua can feel his mouth water as he takes in all the flavors, his heart thudding in his chest. Despite how cold it is in this shop he feels warm inside. The ex-assassin glances at their hands that are still connected. We haven't stopped holding hands since the hotel...Killua's lips tug in a smile. They've gotten some looks but the ex-assassin could care less. This day that started out so bad is getting better and brighter because of Gon.

"Yeah I want them all." Killua licks his lips, giving his friend's hand a squeeze.

"Are you two fellow ice cream lovers?" The man behind the counter smiles at the two teens. He's an older man with soft wrinkles on his face. They crinkle as he smiles.

"Yeah I love ice cream!" Gon beams at this man. "And my friend Killua here likes anything sweet!"

"Pretty much." Killua grins. "Ice cream isn't my favorite sweet but it's up there."

"Then how would you like to try our frosty challenge?" The old man's eyes narrow, a mischievous smile on his lips when he sees how the two teenager's eyes light up at the word 'challenge'. "You pick 20 scoops of ice cream, and 7 toppings. If you can eat all that's in your bucket your ice cream will be paid for and you'll get your picture on our wall." The old man points to the side. Killua glances over seeing there's only one picture of a really large man. "We've only had one winner but you boys look like you have a good appetite. Why not give it a shot?"

"And I guess if we lose we have to pay for all that ice cream?" Killua smirks at this old man. That's a crafty way of getting more money. Killua glances over at his friend, about to ask if he wants to do it only to see Gon's eyes lighten up in that way when he's excited. Killua smiles before looking at this old man. "Looks like we're in."

"Excellent! Choose your poison." The old man chuckles as he points to the menu.

"This is great Killua! We get to pick 20 different flavors!" Gon beams. " Ne but I think I know what I want. I want 5 scoops of strawberry. 5 scoops of cookie dough. 5 scoops of pony track and..." Gon eyebrows furrow in concentration. Killua finds himself rubbing his thumb against Gon's hand, as if in a silent way encouraging him on. "...5 scoops of vanilla!" Gon smiles at his own choices.

"Alright and you good sir?" The old man stops writing on his note pad to look at Killua.

" I want 20 scoops of marsh mud." Killua doesn't even have to think about it. He loves that dark chocolate taste. As soon as he saw they had it he knew that's what he was going to get. He was just waiting for Gon to order first.

"My a chocolate lover!" the old man chuckles.

" You have no idea." Gon gives Killua a teasing smile. "I think you could live off of just eating chocolate."

"Hey don't disrespect chocolate Gon. It's the best." Killua grunts, putting his hand on his hip. " So what if I can live off of it? I'm sure anyone could."

"I guess." Gon's attention is focused on the old man as he starts to fill one of the buckets with the marsh mud. "What toppings are you going to get?"

"I'm not sure yet." Killua hums as he glances over at the topping section.

"I want marshmallows." Gon beams excitedly.

"Hmm... that sounds good." Killua thinks before he glances over at his best friend. He flushes when he sees how Gon is staring at him, those amber eyes are bright in some emotion, his lips turned in the sweetest smile. How can he be so bright? He's like the sun...burning him inside and out. So beautiful.

And he's gay...Killua looks away from Gon, biting on his lip. He's torn by this. When Gon told him back in the hotel he was so happy and excited. His hope had grown in that moment. It grew more when Gon said what he thought was attractive because Killua had those qualities but...then he realized something.

Gon is gay. He likes men. And Kurapika is going to confess to him. Not only that...but Kurapika has those qualities as well. Killua went from being happy to feeling sick and desperate. Then Gon had to tell him he likes a man right now and that's how he figured he was gay. The jealously he felt exploded, the feelings he has couldn't be held in. When Gon refused to tell him who he likes, Killua snapped. He pinned Gon down. He hurt his wrist because of his feelings. Because of his jealously. Yet even though he hurt Gon, he didn't look angry. He smiled at him like it never happened and excitedly held his hand to go get ice cream together...

Killua was feeling happy but now he's starting to feel sick again. The possibility of Gon liking Kurapika is too much. If Kurapika confesses tonight...Gon might say yes. Then they'll be together. Gon will get closer with Kurapika. They'll hold hands. Gon will sleep in the same bed with Kurapika. They'll want to switch rooms so they're together. Gon will want to play with his hair. They'll cuddle together. They'll kiss, they'll have sex-

Kurapika will take everything away from him.

"Killua are you okay? You got really pale all of sudden." Gon's concerned voice breaks Killua out of his madness. He was close to screaming. His vision comes back and he looks over at Gon who is close to his face, a frown tugging on his lips. Killua tenses when Gon touches his cheek with those rough hands only to melt into his touch like the sad individual he is. The ex-assassin feels pain in his hand that's in his pocket. He most likely dug his nails into his flesh when he was gripping his other hand from his feelings.

I don't want him to have you. You might like him Gon but...I won't be able to stay silent while you go off with him. Can't you see I'm better for you? I know you way better than he will ever know. Those lips that are frowning in concern for me...i don't' want them touching anyone else.

I'm not going to let him confess to you.

"I'm fine." Killua grins at his friend, hiding away all the conflicting emotions inside. He gives his best friend's hand a squeeze...rubbing his thumb against his hand, rejoicing in the fact that Gon is holding his hand. He wants to hold his hand. Gon likes men...He likes muscles and deep voices...I have a chance. I can't let Kurapika get in the way.

Gon beams at the extra touch he's getting from the ex-assassin, those amber eyes lighting up as he pulls his hand away from Killua's cheek, much to his disappointment.

"What kind of toppings do you want?" The old man gets the two teenagers to look at him. He's holding two buckets already filled with ice cream.

"Oh!" Gon's eyes light up as he rushes over to the toppings section, Killua keeping up with him by his side. "I want marshmallows, chocolate sauce, sprinkles, cherries, skittles, more marshmallows and more cherries!" Gon hops from one foot to the other. Killua just watches his friend, smiling to himself. It's always been like this. Since they were 12 Killua has always been watching Gon. Smiling when he smiles. Frowning when he frowns. He didn't realize how strange it was how much he liked looking at Gon and watching him when he was 12. As he grew older he understood it was strange...and he understood what he felt towards his best friend.

Killua can't help to think of the first time he saw Gon. He remembers ridding on his skateboard, thinking about how boring the hunter exam is and then he saw him. The little raven haired kid with the bright smile on his face, those large amber eyes filled with fire, running like it was the funnest thing ever, that white tag on his green jacket with the number 405. From that moment on, Killua wanted to be close to him. He wanted to know more about him, he wanted to be his friend. He wanted to be by his side. He wanted to be different for Gon. He didn't want to kill any more to be like Gon. The ex-assassin has to wonder if that moment in the hunter exam when his eyes first met with Gon's...had he fallen in love right then and there? As soon as he looked into those eyes...was his heart trapped?

The 12 year old ex-assassin probably wouldn't think so. My old self probably couldn't believe what i've become...but I think deep down, even when I was so young...

I loved you.

"What do you want Killua?" Gon smiles brightly over at him, those amber eyes trapping him once again. He's changed so much since the hunter exam. Yet he's still that little boy who wants to find his father, with the fire In his eyes and the light of the sun. You've only gotten brighter to my eyes.

"Lets see..." Killua takes his eyes off his best friend to look at his options, feeling his face heat up from thinking about such things. It's embarrassing how sappy I am. "I'll take the chocolate sauce, sprinkles, brownie, Oreo, cherries, marshmallows, and whip cream."

"Excellent choices." The old man gets to work making their massive ice cream sundae. Killua grins over at Gon.

"I know I'm going to be able to finish my ice cream but I don't know about you."

"I'll finish it and i'll finish it before you!" Gon points a finger in his face, his lips turned in a grin.

"Yeah right. You can't fight through the brain freeze." Killua grunts, smirking when he earns himself a stubborn glare from Gon.

"Oh yeah? Well you'll see. I won't lose to you this time." Gon grumbles.

"Lets see what you two got." The old man grins as he puts the two buckets on the counter. He hands the two boys spoons. Killua's hand feels empty when Gon lets go of it to grab his bucket, the ex-assassin doing the same. His hand feels cold. The two boys walk slowly to the table they're going to sit at, glaring at each other with serious expressions. After a moment of this the boy's can't help to crack into smiles.

"May the best man win!" Gon points his spoon in the air when he sits down.

"I'm glad I have your blessing." Killua chuckles as he grabs his spoon, pointing it up with Gon.

"You're not the best." Gon grins. "On the count of three we start eating! One, two...three!" As soon as three left those lips the two boys stab their spoons down and shove as much ice cream as the spoon can hold into their mouths. Killua grabs onto his bucket keeping it steady as he shovels the ice cream into his mouth barely waiting for it to melt before he swallows it. He feels the sharp pain of the brain freeze and winces, having to slow down just a bit so that he's shoveling large amounts of his chocolate ice cream into his mouth but eating it slower.

"Aw damn." Gon groans in pain, grabbing his head as he's paralyzed for a moment by the brain freeze. Killua smirks, knowing he has this in the bag. He's experienced worse throbbing in his head. He can work through the pain. Killua blinks when Gon starts doing the same thing he's doing, shoveling large amounts of ice cream into his mouth but eating it slower, trying to recover from the brain freeze. He's copying my movements... Killua's lips tug up as he starts to eat the ice cream faster again, the pain subsiding.

Killua has to keep his eye on the game and not on his best friend who's eyebrows are scrunched in concentration, that determination in his eyes that both irritates him and earns his admiration. I always find it hard to keep my eyes off of him but at the same time...it's hard to look directly at him.

Gon must get brain freeze again because his lips pucker as he bangs on the table, trying to compose himself with ice cream still in his mouth, puffing out his cheeks. Killua can't help to chuckle at his best friend's face.

"What's wrong Gon?" Killua teases as he swallows a mouth full of ice cream. Killua is in the lead having already worked through half of his bucket, he's gotten a couple of brain freezes but they haven't slowed him down for long. He felt he had time to mess around with Gon only for his raven haired friend to once again surprise him.

Instead of answering Gon starts shoving large amounts of ice cream down his throat, his face a wince telling Killua he's still going through the pains of the brain freeze. He's barely letting the ice cream melt before he's swallowing it! Damn at that rate he'll surpass me! Killua picks up the pace, his core temperature feels as if it's dropped since he's started this. There's goosebumps all over his arms, and he can see it on Gon's tan flesh too. It's so cold in here to begin with and they came in their bathing suits, still wet. Killua can't help to glance at Gon knowing that his friend is more sensitive to weather changes. He's endured great heat and cold. He's more tolerant to both. Gon's more sensitive yet he's still able to keep up with him and fight through his pain.

Killua almost chokes on his spoon when he makes the mistake of glancing a little too low, getting a view of Gon's muscular chest. What has the ex-assassin getting pink in the face isn't his best friend's tone body. Killua's frozen lips tingle as he takes in Gon's chest that's covered in goosebumps and his nipples that are perked. Those nipples that are hard from the cold. He must be really chilled...i'll have to warm him up-

Focus! Killua bites his numb lip to bring him back to the task at hand as he stares into his almost empty bucket, not allowing himself to look at his best friend anymore. If I get lost in my fantasies and start drooling over him it's over! I'll lose! Killua's eyebrows furrow, his teeth feel numb, how its that even possible? He feels so cold but he's almost there...just a couple of scoops more-

"Done!" Gon shouts, slamming his spoon down with a victorious clatter. Killua swallows down the last scoop of ice cream roughly, looking up at his friend to see Gon grinning at him.

"No way..." Killua groans in disbelief. Damn it! I lost because of you being too sexy for me to handle. Stupid Gon and his stupid tempting nipples.

"Yes! I win!" Gon lifts his arms into the air, his smile so bright. Killua can see how proud he is of himself. Despite just losing in his own element he can't help the amused smile that's forming on his lips. He's annoyed that he lost but its a fun annoyed like when you play any game with someone you're close to and lose. Killua wanted to win but the game is what he most enjoyed. I would have won any way if I didn't get distracted. Gon doesn't need to know that though. He'll let him rejoice in his victory just this once. "I beat Killua!" Gon giggles.

"That' won't happen again." Killua grumbles, pushing his bucket away from him and crossing his arms.

"Yeah right I-" Gon starts only for him to stop. His amber eyes widen, his face scrunching up in a wince as wraps his arms around his stomach and leans over, his head going into the bucket. The sound of liquid hitting the bottom of the bucket and Gon gagging soon follow.

"Gon!" Killua's eyes widen at the sudden change in his friend. He was just cheering and smiling. He saw pain flash through Gon's expression before he started to vomit. It all happened so fast. The ex-assassin gets up from his seat, moving to his friend only for Gon to stop gagging. He pulls his head out of the bucket, groaning, wiping his mouth and chin off that had his body fluids.

"Looks like you actually lost kid." The old man comes out from behind the counter giving Gon a lopsided smile. A smile that's suppose to be apologetic but it's not. "It doesn't count if you eat the bucket but throw up."

"Damn it I was so close!" Gon shouts in frustration, those amber eyes look defeated. "I thought I had beaten Killua..."

"maybe next time." Killua teases halfheartedly as he watches his friend in concern when he notices that the goosebumps are gone from his body and his face seems flushed now. Killua feels fine. Maybe all that ice cream at once was too much for him?...or is it...

"Your bucket is paid for and you get to have your picture on the wall! But your friend here has to pay." The old man chuckles. "That'll be 7000 jenny-"

"Here, I don't want my picture on your wall." Killua gives him the amount of jenny he asked for. They had stopped by an ATM before they came in here just in case this small shop didn't take cards. Killua grabs Gon by the wrist before leading him out of the store, thinking the sooner Gon's in fresh air the better. Killua watches Gon carefully from the corner of his eye, searching for any wince or any sign of pain in his body language. There is none but Gon could be hiding it. "What happened back there?"

"What do you mean?" Gon blinks looking over at Killua as they walk down the street away from the ice cream shop, going back the way they came. His amber eyes don't look glazed as they did back there. The air is doing him some good.

"You had a look of pain on your face before you threw up." Killua watches Gon's eyes light up before they shift away from his. Killua glares slightly, moving his hand to grab Gon's, gripping it tightly. "Is your stomach acting up again? Be honest."

"...Yeah." Gon admits, looking down at their hands before looking up at Killua, his expression serious but honest. "I don't think it was the same as before though. I felt this pain in my stomach and it made my muscles tense up which made me throw up I think."

"I think it is the same as before. You might be getting sick." Killua's glare softens. "No more eating contests. Your stomach has been weak lately. Maybe if we give it some time to relax it'll clear up." Killua rubs his thumb over Gon's hand. It feels slightly sweaty. "Whenever you feel sick just let me know."

"Aw no more eating contests? But I wanted to try the ice cream challenge again." Gon pouts.

"Hell no I bet that's what's messed up your stomach. We're going to tell Leorio and see if he has any medicine. Also, are you feeling hot right now?" Killua stops walking to put his hand on Gon's forehead. It feels warm.

"A little bit but I'm cooling off. I got a little hot in there when I had the pain." Gon admits, closing his eyes and leaning into the touch. "I'm okay really."

"You might be getting some kind of stomach virus." Killua looks away from Gon, staring forward sternly. "IT looks like you had a mild fever but like you said you're slowly cooling off. Well, we'll see what Leorio has to say about it."

"Okay. I'm sure it's nothing though Killua." Gon beams at him, walking closer.

"We'll see." The ex-assassin keeps on the defensive. If Gon's sick and he knows it he'll try to wiggle his way out of taking care of himself like staying in bed and taking it easy. It'll be pulling an arm and a leg trying to get him to recover properly. Killua's already getting prepared for it. Of all the years Gon and him have been together Gon's never gotten sick. So he can't help to feel a little worried now that he may be.

"Killua does this mean it's okay for us to touch again?"Gon's question throws the ex-assassin off. Killua blinks before looking over at Gon confused.

"Huh?! Where did that come from!" Killua can feel his face get warm at how Gon smiles at him, squeezing his hand.

"Well we've been holding hands. I kissed your hand and you kissed my wrists. And you've been grabbing a hold of my hand recently. We've been doing a lot of touching today so I just wanted to know...if it's okay to touch you? I don't want to feel guilty when I touch you so...could you tell me now if you hate it Killua? You don't have to touch me or hold my hand for my sake." Gon looks at him seriously. There's a look in those amber orbs that Killua doesn't understand...a quiet knowledge.

Killua tenses, his heart thudding in his chest. He swallows down the nervousness he feels. I've messed up. I told Gon last night I didn't want to touch...but I've been contradicting that all day. Killua feels his heart speed up as he grips Gon's hand tighter, covering his face with his bangs, feeling his cheeks heat up. "It's...okay. I don't...hate it." I love it. I want to hold your hand. I want us to touch. I don't want to push you away. I'm not going to push you right into Kurapika's arms. I have a chance. It's not like before. Gon's not disgusted by men liking men. Gon's actually gay. I have a chance!-

Do you really believe that? How could he love you? A demon who's killed countless people. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve to be with him. How dare you want more? He's given you everything. You'll never be satisfied. You don't and never will have a chance. You'll take everything away from him. If he loves Kurapika you'll kill the blonde. You know it's true. You're a killer at heart. You'll kill Kurapika and force yourself on Gon. You just take, take, take. Once you suck him dry and his light burns out, you'll leave him. You're such a fickle thing-

"That makes me really happy." The voice in Killua's head subsides just when he was about to snap. He was about to scream and yell. He was about to lose it in front of his best friend. Gon's words brought him back, he feels his body relaxing as Gon pulls him closer. Gon puts his hand on Killua's cheek, the warmth of it makes his pupils that were constricted become normal, and lighter. Killua shows his face, peeking up from his bangs to look at his friend's bright eyes. Killua swallows, his heart skipping at beat at how Gon is looking at him, those amber orbs focused solely on him. "I'm glad you don't hate it Killua. I like being able to touch you. Now that limitation is gone I can do this!" Gon leans in, placing a tender kiss on the ex-assassin's cheek.

Killua freezes, standing still, his eyes widening and his blush spreading on his face. Gon's happy I don't hate it. Gon likes touching me...Gon's kissing my cheek...all the despair he was just feeling is gone. All those dark feelings of insecurity and self loathing disappear like they were never there. All Killua feels in this moment is warmth and happiness. Gon's words and touch saving him once again. Maybe it is selfish for me to want more than this but I would never leave Gon. I would never hurt him. I wouldn't kill his lover. I would just have to suffer. It hurts but it would hurt more never seeing Gon again. It would hurt even more if Gon hated me because I hurt his lover...So i'll fight everything that I am, all the feelings I feel, so I can stay by your side no matter what.

Because you are my most precious friend.

"That's for this morning! A late good morning kiss." Gon giggles, smiling brightly. You are my saving grace.

"Ah that's right..." Killua's cheek feels warm and tingly, his heart rate higher than it should be. He licks his lips nervously before he leans close and kisses Gon's forehead. Killua closes his eyes tightly, trying to control himself. He feels like squeezing this boy. He feels like pulling him in and kissing him on those delicious lips. He feels like expressing what he means to him. Instead... he manages a 'good morning kiss returned.' while keeping his eyes shut to hide the longing and deep love he knows is exposed in his purple orbs right now. He can't hide this overwhelming feeling in this moment.

Gon giggles in appreciation, his cheeks seem a little flushed as he grins at his best friend. "Let's go see if Kurapika and Leorio are done yet." You are my everything.

"Alright." Killua grunts as he keeps his eyes shut, pulling away from Gon. The two males walk in a comfortable silence. Gon's hand finds it's way into his and once again he feels complete. He doesn't dare look over at his friend. He's too bright for him right now.

I think all those years ago when you first smiled at me during the hunter exam as we ran side by side you became my everything. You became hope, longing, excitement, worry, fun, love, change, light, and a friend. You gave me everything I didn't have, everything that I was without. Before I met you I was nothing but a puppet.

You became everything that I am, you became my everything when your amber eyes met mine. I just didn't know it then.

---

"That was fun, we even got to get in the pool for a little bit." Leorio chuckles holding Kurapika in his arms as he carries him into their hotel room. "You're getting back to normal slowly but surly. You can use your arms now." The brown haired male smiles at his friend who has his arms wrapped around his neck.

"Yeah soon I'll be able to walk." Kurapika smiles back up at his friend, the two males are dripping wet, Kurapika's white shirt clinging to his body. They share a look, Kurapika's chest light and soon he can't stop his laughing.

"Hey are you still laughing about that?" Leorio grumbles but his lips are tugging in an amused smile as he walks Kurapika over to sit him down on the couch.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I said I would stop but your face..." Kurapika covers his mouth with his hand but he can't stop his giggles. "Your face when you fell into the pool...haha it took you five minutes to fall and you kept waving your hands and calling for me to help but I couldn't do anything but laugh." Kurapika's stomach is starting to feel sore from all the laughing he's done. It's been a really long time since he's laughed like this. It feels so nice, good, wonderful.

"You're an ass hole you know that? I got out of the hot tub to get us some drinks and this is the thanks I get? No sympathy? Just giggles?" Even though Leorio is trying to keep a straight face soon he's laughing with the blonde, sitting next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Damn! I just really didn't want to fall in I knew it was cold."

"If you just allowed yourself to fall it wouldn't have been so bad. But you just looked so funny." Kurapika sighs, wiping at his eyes that have watered from his laughter the third time today. "It was so surprising and I wasn't expecting it. All I could do was laugh. I'm sorry..." Kurapika takes a deep breath, composing himself but he can't stop the wobbly smile on his face.

"You're just getting some sick satisfaction out of this aren't you?" Leorio flushes and scratches his cheek but he has a grin on his lips as well. "That's the last time I'm nice to you." Leorio pushes Kurapika playfully on the shoulder. "I thought you were going to die from not being able to breathe."

"I thought I was too. It's been a long time since I've laughed like that." Kurapika chuckles.

"...I'm glad you're feeling better." Leorio looks at the TV, his cheeks staying pink, those brown orbs glossed over. "When I saw you laughing at me, all I could think was 'wow he looks like he's having a great time'. I've never seen you laugh like that." Leorio grins over at Kurapika. "You should laugh more often Kurapika. It's good for the soul and I like seeing you happy. You really looked like you had relaxed back there. So hell i'd fall in that damn pool again if it would keep you smiling."

"Leorio..." Kurapika feels his heart skip a beat in his chest. Despite the cold wet clothing clinging to his chest he feels very warm.

"You work yourself too hard and get all worked up with doing stuff by yourself. So once you're able to walk again, I want you to promise me you'll relax. This is a vacation and I want to see you laughing more." Leorio puts a hand on his shoulder, his smile kind. "Alright?"

"I'll try." Kurapika's lips turn into a smile of his own, melting into Leorio's warm touch and smile. "It's easy to laugh when i'm around you." Kurapika feels slightly embarrassed for admitting that and the look Leorio is giving him. How his eyes light up.

"Yeah that's because i'm awesome right?" Leorio gives him this crooked smile that gets Kurapika to chuckle.

"If that's what you want to tell yourself."

"Bastard." Leorio ends up chuckling as well. Kurapika smirks over at his friend. His eyes wander a bit over his friend's body. Leorio is very fit, as he's always been even during the hunter exam. He's muscular but not too muscular. Lean and tall. Attractive and sweet. Funny. Everything that Kurapika isn't.

"That hurts." It's amazing. In this moment it's like everything is okay. Everything is light and funny. Sitting here playing around with his friend is a saving grace. He's enjoying every minute of it. The two males chuckle to themselves before they fall into a comfortable silence.

"...I think Gon and Killua will make a good couple." Leorio suddenly says, leaning back on the couch, putting his arms behind his head. "I never thought of it being a possibility till now. I thought it was a little strange at first but now that i've gotten use to the idea I couldn't see them with anyone else."

" I feel the same way. As soon as I found out about Killua's feelings I started thinking of the possibility of Gon and him being together. After working it through my head a bit...I realized that it could be something beautiful. I couldn't see them with anyone else either. It's like...they were always made to be together. Just like back in the hunter exam. They instantly became friends." Kurapika smiles fondly thinking of old times.

"Can't believe those two are all grown up. And to think i'd be helping them get together. It's so strange when I think back to those two kids running side by side in front of me. It's strange to think how everything has turned out." Leorio chuckles, his laugh soft and light. "It's crazy how time flies and changes things."

"I don't think anything has really changed." Kurapika smiles over at Leorio. " emotions have just gotten stronger and have matured."

"You think those two always had a thing for one another?" Leorio raises his eyebrow.

"I'm not sure. Maybe, maybe not." Kurapika closes his eyes, thinking of how he had ran next to Leorio during that part of the exam. That's when they first opened up to each other. Leorio told him about his friend and Kurapika told him about why he wanted to be a hunter. When Kurapika thinks back on it, he's surprised with how easy it was to open up to Leorio and talk about something that's scarred him so deeply. Even then, Kurapika wanted to be closer to him. "But one things for sure...it felt like we were all fated to meet."

"Yeah I know what you mean." Leorio smiles before he chuckles. "I remember when I first met you. You pissed me off so much I was about to kick your ass if it wasn't for Gon being Gon and jumping out of the boat to save that guy! Even back then he was crazy!"

"I didn't think highly of you either." Kurapika chuckles thinking about their actions on the boat. "It was Gon's crazy act that brought us all together. I think in that moment as strange as it sounds we became friends. All three of us. After that I just wanted to follow after Gon, he interested me and he still does."

"I know it's insane. We were just fighting and then Gon does something crazy and then we're all buddy buddy. Like how does that even work? I wasn't thinking about it back then but it just became what it was. Gon's really something." Leorio laughs before he quiets down. Thinking for a moment. "What was the best part of the hunter exam for you?"

"I wouldn't say I had a favorite part." Kurapika thinks about the question. "believe it or not I liked staying those 50 hours in that room with everyone. It was peaceful and we got to rest together and eat. It was nice watching Gon and Killua play and then you get frustrated." Kurapika smiles thinking about it. "I also liked the time on the air ship we got to spend together.."

"Yeah." Leorio smiles. "I didn't like staying in that room for 50 hours though I couldn't get any sleep between Topa and Gon and Killua." Leorio grumbles. "I liked fighting along side you in the forest. We make a good team."

"Yes we do." Kurapika leans back into the couch, feeling relaxed and light. He smiles to himself.

"Kurapika..." The blonde tenses slightly from the way Leorio has spoken his name. So softly from his lips like a blessing. Kurapika looks over at Leorio noting how close the brown haired male is too him. Kurapika can hear his heart in his ears. He licks his lips.

"Yes?" Kurapika keeps himself composed

"...Heh never mind." Leorio pulls back, waving him off, a strange smile on his lips. "It was a stupid question."

"You can ask me anything Leorio." Kurapika gives him a serious look.

"This person that you like... can you tell me who yet?" Leorio rubs his arm, the air seeming tense between them now.

"...No." Kurpaika's eyes shift away when Leorio looks over at him, a frown on his lips

"...Do you know if they return your feelings?" Leorio looks at his feet. "Have you kissed them?"

"I haven't kissed them yet nor do I know if they return my feelings but...I want to kiss them. I want to kiss them badly." Kurapika puts a hand over his chest, his gray eyes getting softer, looking over at Leorio in longing. The older man seems tense. "But it's not meant to be. I'm sure they don't like me. This person has had many lovers...and this person doesn't look at me like he looks at his lovers. It hurts. Knowing I don't have a chance but I still can't help to hope." Kurapika smiles sadly, looking down at his hands, his emotions spilling out. " I don't have what this person wants. I don't deserve them anyway so it's fine-"

"Kurapika." The blonde's eyes widen when Leorio speaks his name sternly, laced with emotion. Leorio grabs his chin, turning his head to look at him. They're eyes meet in that second. Leorio's brown orbs are burning with a passion Kurapika hasn't seen before...

Leorio leans in kissing Kurapika. The blonde freezes, his eyes widening in shock as Leorio's lips move smoothly against his own. His stomach twists and his heart feels like it could beat out of his chest. Soon the shock wears off and Kurapika melts into the kiss, his lips slowly moving against his best friend's, holding onto his bare arms.

The kiss is slow and heated. Sensual. It leaves all the blonde's senses tingling, a pleasant buzz in his brain. Leorio breaks the kiss, still holding Kurapika's chin, both their faces flushed. "Don't say you don't deserve someone. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Anyone would be lucky to have you. If that person doesn't want you than fuck them. Don't even bother with them anymore Kurapika. You deserve so much more...that's why I..." Leorio rubs his thumb over Kurapika's lip, his brown orbs widening in realization, the blush reaching his ears. Leorio stares at Kurapika in shock, both of the males staring at each other, silent questions in their eyes.

"...I really just..." Leorio covers his mouth, his eyes shifting away. "It's because...you were..." He trails off.

"L-Leorio..." Kurapika stammers out, his breathing a bit uneven. There's so many questions he wants to ask. The feelings he has right now are overwhelming, his heart thudding against his rib cage. Leorio looks back at Kurapika, the two males staring at each other once again, a tense feeling between them. Kurapika is torn from asking the question he really wants to ask and just kissing this man again. He feels his self control falling especially when Leorio glances at his lips once again.

There's a loud knock at the door getting both Kurapika and Leorio to jump up on the couch, the moment being destroyed. "Kurapika! Leorio! Are you in there?" Gon's cheerful voice gets the two adults in a panic, Leorio shooting away from the blonde. Both the males take deep breaths, trying to compose themselves.

"Y-Yeah just hold on a minute." Leorio nervously stands up, glancing over at Kurapika who is still blushing, looking down at his hands. Leorio bites his lip before he moves over to the door and opens it up.

"I brought the book! I thought we could get started on the quest to find Clover." Gon cheers, holding out the red book a grin on his face. Killua stands next to him, his hands in his pockets. They're both wearing tank tops and sweat pants.

"Yeah, yeah come in." Leorio steps aside, his face still a little pink as the two teenagers walk in. Killua gives him a strange look before looking over at Kurapika. The blonde wants to cover his face right now. He can't stop his blush. Leorio just kissed me. How can he keep calm after that?

"Kurapika are you okay? You look red." Gon frowns, walking over to his friend. "Are you feeling sick?"

"No I'm fine." Kurapika shifts his gaze away from his friends.

Killua stares at Kurapika for a moment before he looks back at Leorio, his face blank. "Did something happen?"

"What? N-no of course not, nothing happened." Leorio chuckles nervously. "so what have you two been doing huh?"

"We went to eat ice cream!" Gon smiles, seeming oblivious to how awkward it is in the room. Killua narrows his eyes but he seems to let it go as he looks at Gon.
"That reminds me. Gon's stomach started hurting again and it made him throw up." Killua looks at Leorio seriously. "He got a mild fever too. I'm starting to think this is more then just some stomach ache. Could you check into it and make sure he doesn't have a virus or something?"

"You puked Gon?" Leorio looks at his friend in concern, his awkward demeanor fading as he checks over Gon's body. "What brought it on? You said the pain caused you to throw up?"

"Yeah I felt a random pain in my stomach and it made my muscles tense up and made me throw up all the ice cream I just ate." Gon rubs his stomach.

"So you didn't feel nauseated before you threw up?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Well, how much ice cream did you eat?"

"20 scoops of it including toppings in a time frame of 10 minutes." Killua answers.

"What the hell! No wonder he's having stomach issues! What's wrong with you!" Leorio smacks Gon on the head, his eye twitching. "you lost your mind?"

"I don't think it was the ice cream." Killua gives Leorio a pointed look. "I ate the same amount and I was fine. Gon has a strong stomach. Even if it was the ice cream that made him puke and have pain it wouldn't have given him a mild fever."

"That's true..." Leorio thinks for a moment. "Well if it's some sort of stomach virus we'll just have to wait it out. Drink some ginger ale and lay off eating so much for awhile and we'll see if that helps. If we're lucky you'll break out in a full out fever and it will break soon after. Then you won't have to worry about being sick anymore. Do you feel bad right now? Would you like some pain meds?"

"No I feel fine." Gon smiles at his friend who's still looking at him in concern.

"Are you sure?" Killua asks, giving his friend a look, Kurapika can see those purple eyes clouded with concern for his love.

Kurapika can't help to feel worried. He got a bad feeling as soon as he heard that Gon had a pain in his stomach and puked. His own stomach twisted and the blush that was on his face disappears...It's not the curse is it? It wouldn't be right? The leader said the curse is slow acting. Kurapika's eye brows furrow. But how do we know he isn't lying? We have no idea what this curse will do. We know nothing about it or how bad it will be. Kurapika grips his fists. We need to get started on finding Clover. I can worry about what happened between me and Leorio later.

Kurapika doesn't like this feeling of dread that's beginning to build up in him. He feels restless as he looks at the book Gon is holding in his hand.

"I'm sure." The raven haired male starts to jog in place to show how he's fine, grinning at Killua. "All good! My stomach doesn't hurt anymore. Maybe it was just a one time thing."

"I doubt it." Killua's eyes narrow. "You're still going to cut down on stuffing yourself and as soon as you get a fever your ass is getting into a bed and resting."

"Killuaa." Gon whines.

"Don't Killuaa me." the ex-assassin puts his hands on his hips. Those eyes do shift, getting softer but Killua seems to be fighting giving into Gon's whines. "the more you rest the faster the sickness will pass."

"He's right Gon and if you ever need medication let me know." Leorio looks at Gon seriously. "If you keep experiencing pain you should tell me and keep me updated on your condition."

"He will." Killua answers for him, crossing his arms, making sure to give no room for Gon to wiggle his way out of both of his friend's concern.

"Ne okay." Gon smiles sheepishly before he chuckles. I wonder if Gon's made the connection that the pain might be rated to the curse? If he has it doesn't seem to have changed him or discouraged him. Gon's smile is as bright as ever. No fear or urgency in those amber eyes.

"Let me see that book Gon." Kurapika stands off the couch, walking towards his friend. He blinks when everyone looks at him in surprise.

"Kurapika you're walking!" Gon beams.

"About time." Leorio sighs in relief.

"Now you won't need anyone carrying you around." Killua smiles but those slanted eyes narrow at him. "Isn't that great?"

Kurapika ignores Killua's taunt, feeling relief that he can finally move his body again. "Thank goodness. " Kurapika sighs before he smiles at Gon. "I told you I would be able to move some time today. Nothing to worry about." He holds out his hand. "Can I see that book?"

"Oh yeah." Gon hands over the red book. "You said you know this language Kurapika?"

"Yes. I've studied many languages. This one happens to be Latin." Kurapika says as he studies the tittle of the book, his eyebrows scrunching together as he walks over to the couch, taking a seat there. Leorio awkwardly stands next to him, deep in thought. Gon sits next to the blonde with Killua sitting next to him.

"That's so cool." Gon smiles excitedly at Kurapika. The blonde can see Killua glare at him from the corner of his eye.

"I'm not impressed." Killua yawns.

Kurapika smiles at Gon, ignoring Killua once again. He won't take anything the ex-assassin says to heart. He can tell he doesn't like Gon showing him any attention or admiration.

"The title of the book translates to something like...'to please the gods'." Kurapika runs his hands over the book's cover.

"To please the gods?" Gon blinks.

"Yes. This book looks really old as well and seeing as it's written in Latin it may be from ancient roman time." Kurapika opens the book, reading the next page.

"Ancient Roman time?" Gon tilts his head.

"The Romans were a powerful civilization." Killua looks at Gon, getting his friend's attention. "They were close to ruling the world but they ended up falling apart because they couldn't control all the countries they've taken over. They became too big." Killua thinks for a moment. "I don't know much about the Romans but I do know that they worshiped many gods. They had a god for everything I think."

"That's correct." Kurapika nods in agreement. "The roman's daily lives were very much influenced by their religion and pleasing these Gods." Kurapika flips through the book. "It looks like this book has different chapters on each God and how to appease them."

"Wow you guys are smart." Gon says in admiration before he blinks. "Why would the person who pretended to be me to steal Clover have this on him?"

"More so, why would the leader think this book is so important that you would come back for it?" Killua crosses his arms. "It looks like a piece of junk to me."

"I'm not sure." Kurapika mumbles as he flips through all the pages only for him to stop when he sees a piece of paper in between one of the pages. There's nothing on the paper but what he reads on the page catches his attention.

"...to appease Jupiter and become a god you must find the white fox who's fur glows. On a full moon sacrifice it to the god of gods and speak these words. You will be granted everlasting life and become the most powerful being on earth..." Kurapika reads more seeing that this page gives instructions on how your suppose to kill the white fox, with what kind of knife, and what words have to be said. The blonde understands immediately. "this tells how to kill the fox to get eternal life."

"So the person who stole Clover wants to kill her to live forever?" Gon frowns, gripping his fist.

"It looks like it." Killua's eyebrows furrow. "So that's why the leader acted the way he did. He probably figured that you needed this book to kill Clover. That's why he acted like it was so important because in order to kill Clover you would need this book to do it right."

"This means two things. One, Clover is safe as long as we have this book. Two, that since this book is important, who ever stole Clover will probably come after it sooner or later." Kurapika closes the book, swallowing down a nervousness and relief. There's a quiet restlessness that's building, a fear in him. The leader said the curse would be broken if they return Clover...but if Clover is killed...

Then what will become of Gon?

"Then we can't let him get his hands on this book." Gon's eyes shine with determination. "And when he comes to get it we'll stop him right then and there. Then we'll find Clover and return her to the circus!"

"You make it sound so simple." Killua grunts. "This guy isn't stupid and since he was able to change his appearance to look like you we don't know how he truly looks like. We'll have to be on guard throughout our vacation. We don't even know who we're looking for."

"So the question is...do we keep the book on us or leave it here?" Kurapika looks at everyone.

"...We don't know if this person knows where we're staying. They obviously have seen Gon before. We don't know how much the enemy knows." Killua glances at Gon. "I think we should keep the book on us. That way we can protect it easier."

"I think that's the better option." Gon nods at his friend's idea. "And since he knows me...if he sees me he'll probably approach me. He'd think I'd have the book."

"That's right." Killua and Kurapika nod.

"So we should keep the book on someone other than you." Killua looks at Gon. "I'll carry it on me."

"I don't know..."

"I think it's better to have the book on someone other than you. The enemy will attack you and you'll know what he's after but if it's not on you it's less likely he'll be able to snag it away from you and make an escape." Kurapika adds when Gon's eyebrows furrow. "Let Killua carry it."

"Okay." Gon nods. "As long as the enemy attacks me then that's fine."

"I can handle myself if the enemy were to attack me instead." Killua grunts.

"I know you can handle it but I want to fight the enemy!" Gon pouts. "I don't want you to beat him before me."

Killua flushes at Gon's confidence in him before he huffs. "Well maybe I could hold him down and wait for you to have your fun with him." Killua glances away. "We'll see. I haven't had a decent fight in awhile either."

"Fine then we'll fight him together. Like a tag team." Gon looks at Killua seriously, getting the ex-assassin to blink before he chuckles.

"This guy is going to wish he never messed with us." Killua smirks, those purple eyes getting darker, duller. "Between me and you, he won't stand a chance."

"Hey don't count us out. This ass hole has caused a lot of trouble." Leorio points his finger at the younger males. "I want my punch in!"

"Everyone calm down." Kurapika sighs. "So our plan is to wait for this person to come to us correct? Killua will hold onto the book and we'll keep an eye out for anyone suspicious."

"Right." Killua nods. "That's the best course of action. We don't really have another choice."

"I hope he doesn't take forever. I want to fight someone." Gon cracks his fingers.

"I almost feel bad for the guy." Killua chuckles darkly as he takes the book from Kurapika. He rolls it up and stuffs It into his pocket, the book sticking out of it but staying in.

"I don't. That guy stole Clover and framed me. Because of him Kurapika got hurt and hundreds of people are dead. I don't want someone like that to be able to live forever." Gon's face is stern, those eyes burning with a silent fire.

"Don't worry. We'll gladly repay him for all that he's done." Killua looks at his best friend, those eyes narrowing in anger for the man that has endangered his love. "I assure you that."

"...So what would you two like to do for the rest of the day?" Kurapika decides to move on from this topic since there's nothing else they can do at the moment and he doesn't want the two boys getting too heated yet. The blonde runs a hand through his hair, pushing his hair back and out of his face. "I can move now so we could do anything."

"Oh i'm not sure." Gon blinks, that fire disappearing, his eyes becoming normal once again. "Hmm...Killua is there something you want to do?" Gon looks over at his friend who has seemed to calm down with Gon.

"Not really. We could just walk around and see what they have here." Killua shrugs his shoulders but he seems Pleased Gon asked his opinion.

"Lets do that!" Gon beams at Killua before looking at his other two friends. "What do you say?"

"Sounds good to me as long as we aren't spending any money." Leorio smiles slightly. He looks at Kurapika before glancing away. The air between them is still thick with unanswered questions.

"A walk sounds nice." Kurapika smiles, standing up with Gon and Killua. He puts a hand on Gon's shoulder, ignoring how Killua tenses. "And after we take this walk...I want to talk to you alone Gon."

"Okay." Gon smiles at his friend before he tilts his head. "What do you want to talk about?"

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you for awhile now. I want to tell you when we're alone though." Kurapika can see that Killua is trembling, his fists gripped by his side. He's giving Kurapika such a dark glare but at the same time he looks so pale. He's pissed off and afraid at the same time.

"Okay." Gon seems a little confused but he smiles all the same. He doesn't know what's going on.

"Let's go Gon." Killua grabs Gon's hand before pulling him away from Kurapika, leaning him out of the room. "I want to start looking around."

"Me too." Gon smiles, letting his friend hold his hand and lead him out of the hotel room. "Ne shouldn't we wait for them?"

"Hurry up!" Killua yells back at Kurapika and Leorio. "Or we'll leave you old farts behind!"

"Who you calling an old fart?!" Leorio yells after him in annoyance. He marches after the two younger males, Kurapika following behind him. Leorio doesn't make eye contact with him and that's for the best. Tonight, after all this is over with Killua, Kurapika will get answers to his questions...for right now he'll wait.

But his heart yearns for the feel of Leorio's lips on his once again.

---

"It's such a nice day out today..." Killua hears Leorio say behind them, finally breaking the silence that has been settling between him and Kurapika.

"It sure is. Tomorrow will be a good day to go to the beach." Kurapika answers back sounding just as awkward. The ex-assassin isn't sure what but he knows something happen while they were gone. As long as it doesn't involve Gon and Kurapika he doesn't care too much.

They've been walking about 20 minutes now, Killua keeping a hold of Gon's hand as they walk in the lead of the two older adults. He's been keeping Gon as far away from Kurapika as possible. He wants Gon's attention to be on him and not on the other male. Killua doesn't want him to realize that Kurapika is his type. He doesn't want him to fall for the other male.

"We haven't passed anything really interesting." Gon sighs, getting Killua to glance over at him, his white locks getting in his face a bit from the wind that's going against them.

"Yeah it's mainly been clothing stores. I guess all the good stuff is deeper in town." Killua glances off to the side seeing another swimming type store that has clothes, surf boards and things like that. Killua looks back at his friend only to tense when he sees those amber orbs staring at him intently, a strange little smile on Gon's lips that takes the ex-assassin's breathe away. Even when Gon's rocking sweat pants he looks amazing, and when Gon stares at him with that beautiful face of his it's hard for Killua not to get flushed. He will act like he hates it or that it embarrasses him but really he likes the attention.

"What?" Killua glances away from him. "Why are you staring?"

"Because I was just thinking how beautiful you look right now." Gon states boldly, a bright smile on his lips and those eyes light up when he notices how red Killua gets.

"I-Idiot!" That's my line! "I'm a man I'm not...beautiful." Killua mumbles, trying to act mad but his voice is too soft and laced with the underline emotion that he feels. He's happy. Killua's heart is beating so fast, his cheeks a light pink at Gon's words. To think Gon thinks of him as beautiful...and he likes men so...does that mean he thinks I'm attractive?or is he just stating what he thinks?

"But you are! It looks really nice with the wind blowing your hair around so I can see your face completely and the earrings I got you. I love the color of your hair and your eyes. You should show more of your face and stop hiding it with those bangs of yours." Gon pouts, moving Killua's bangs out of the way, exposing him to those eyes of the sun. Killua can only stare at Gon in disbelief and a quiet happiness. He can hear his heart in his ears. He wants to kiss him. He wants to wrap his best friend in his arms. Should I make a move? What is the best course of action? Gon has always said strange things like this to me...so is this just Gon being Gon?...or does he find me attractive? As in he would be with me? But what if i'm overlooking everything and he doesn't like me? I'd make things so awkward between us!

As Killua has this inner battle he stares at his best friend like a deer in head lights, his body frozen to the point he's stopped walking. His face just keeps getting redder and redder, especially when Gon leans in his face, those amber eyes seem to have a glint in them.

"Do you think I'm beautiful Killua?" Gon asks sweetly, pointing to his face. Killua's breath catches, his internal battle becoming a lot harder. The ex-assassin bites his lip. The answer is obvious so why is he hesitating to say what he's been thinking all these years when Gon is giving him an opportunity to be honest? Killua is gaping at him like a fish out of water.

"I think you're beautiful Gon." Killua's blood runs cold when Gon takes his eyes off of him to look over at Kurapika who is smiling at the raven haired male. The ex-assassin's heats up in anger, he grinds his teeth, this fire deep inside him.

"I think you're more than beautiful Gon." Killua grabs a hold of Gon, turning him so he's looking at him with those amber eyes and only him. "Your gorgeous! My eyes and hair have nothing on yours. Your eyes are as bright and beautiful as the sun and your skin looks like it's been kissed by the sun. To me your the most beautiful person in the world-" Killua stops in his rant, his breath catching in his throat as he stares into Gon's eyes that are wide, looking surprised. Killua is well aware now of the silence between everyone as they all stare at him. Even some passersby are looking at him. Killua not only said these embarrassing words but he shouted them. What the hell did I do?! Killua feels like he's about to hyperventilate as he moves away from Gon, his stomach twisting, staring at him in horror. Kurapika made me so mad by calling him beautiful I just...all my feelings just came out and I couldn't' stop them! Killua covers his eyes with his bangs, his purple orbs getting watery. Now that he's started expressing his feelings it's hard to stop.

"Do you really mean that Killua?" The ex-assassin tenses when Gon touches his face, getting Killua to look at him. His heart skips a beat when he sees the the soft blush on Gon's tan cheeks.

I could lie. I could redeem myself but...in this state... "Yes." I can't take It back.

"Yay!" Gon jumps up in Killua's arms, wrapping his arms around his neck, cheering victoriously. "That makes me so happy Killua. I reached part of my goal!" Gon nuzzles the flustered ex-assassin's head.

"W-What are you talking about?" Killua's body freezes but he doesn't push Gon off. His body warms to the fact Gon is hugging him right now, nuzzling against him, being so cute. He can't stand it.

"Did you hear that guys! Killua thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world!" Gon shouts over at Leorio and Kurapika, getting Killua to hide his face in his shoulder.

"I think everyone heard him say that." Leorio mumbles but there's a strange smile on his lips. Even Kurapika is smiling.

"Idiot don't go bragging about it! I'll take it back." Killua snaps, his arms wrapping around Gon's waist,wanting to be closer to the body that's pressed against his.

"Don't' do that." Gon pouts looking Killua in the eye, his forehead pressed against his. "it made me feel nice knowing you think that. I value what you think of me the most."

Killua's heart beats slowly in his chest, his eyes not able to leave those amber orbs that are shinning at him. He's aware of Gon's body that's pressed against his and his arms that are around his neck. There's no one here but Gon. The raven haired male is in his arms, expressing how happy he is with what Killua said. Gon just said he values his opinion the most. Not Kurapika's option. His. Right now, Gon is in his arms. Gon is smiling at him and that faint blush on his cheeks was caused by Killua not Kurapika. Gon isn't looking at him strangely for what he said. Gon has embraced it and accepted it and rejoiced in it.

"Hehe Killua has a funny look on his face." Gon giggles, closing his eyes in his smile. And damn if his heart didn't flutter.

"Shut up so do you." Killua grumbles but it has no bite to it. His lips turning in a smile of his own, his heart thudding that melody of love and affection. He knows that he's probably looking like that love sick puppy right now.

"Lets keep walking. Maybe we'll find something we can all do together." Gon unwraps his arms around Killua, the ex-assassin hesitantly doing the same. He feels relieved when Gon grabs his hand again, wanting to still have that connection with his best friend.

"Okay." And just like that, everyone is talking again like nothing happened. Gon is smiling at him and playing around with him and joking with him like they didn't just have that moment. It's amazing really. Even Leorio and Kurapika seem to have chilled out a bit and soon everyone is talking with each other.

Even after everything has calmed down Killua's heart hasn't stopped thudding in his chest with that slow melody and his body feels light. The feelings he has in this moment, walking with his friend, holding his hand are great and deep. After embracing Gon and admitting some of his feelings to the raven haired male...

Killua looks over at Kurapika, his eyes narrowing, keeping himself calm.

I won't lose him to you.

---

"Aw I wanted to go in the pet store. Why'd it have to be closed?" Gon mumbles as the four friends walk up the hotel stairs together.

"We'll get another chance to go." Killua shrugs his shoulders. "Besides if you go in there you're just going to want to take all the animals with you."

"Will not."Gon crosses his arms stubbornly.

"Don't feel bad Gon, it's hard on me going into a pet store as well. I always want to take home the baby kittens. I know I don't have time for a pet though. I'm always on the move." Kurapika sighs.

"I'm sure you could have one little kitten though. Cats aren't as high maintenance as other pets are." Leorio looks over at the blonde, the two exchange that weird look again before looking away.

"I suppose...but I don't know. It's not as I really want one..." Kurapika's eyes shift at that. Leorio glances at him from the corner of his eye but the two don't say anything else.

"I like cats but I'm more of a dog person." Gon smiles, breaking into Kurapika's and Leorio's awkward conversation.

"I could go either way." Killua thinks about it. "I mean dogs are loyal and you can train them to do many things. Dogs can get into a lot of things too though. Cats kind of just laze around but they're fun to play with and most of them like to be petted." Killua glances over at Gon. "Have you had a dog or a cat before?"

"No but I use to have a pet Foxbear" Gon smiles getting everyone to look at him like he's crazy. "He's still my pet but I like to just call him my friend. He lives in the forest on whale island. Next time we go i'll have to introduce you to him Killua!"

"Are you serious?! A Foxbear?!" Leorio points a finger at Gon in disbelief.

"Yeah! I raised it from when it was just a cub." Gon smiles.

"That's impressive." Kurapika's eyes soften, smiling over at his friend as they all stop in the hallway that has both of their rooms.

"I'd love to see this foxbear pet of yours." Killua grins before chuckling.

"Why am I acting so surprise? Of course Gon has a pet foxbear because that's perfectly crazy." Leorio chuckles softly too, everyone having a laugh together. If there's one thing that everyone can agree on is that Gon's crazy. But he's the good kind of crazy. They call him crazy as an endearment. They don't' mean any harm.

"I don't see anything crazy about it." Gon has this grin on his face though. A proud one.

"Now that we're here Gon...Can I talk to you alone for a moment?" Kurapika asks, breaking the light air that was between them and replacing it with something tense. Killua's smile is instantly wiped off his face. Those purple eyes becoming narrowed, his hands grip in his pockets as he takes a step, getting between Gon and Kurapika, facing the blonde.

"Actually before you do that Kurapika. I want to talk to you alone." Killua keeps his voice in check so not to alert Gon to how pissed off he is or his intentions. He smirks at the blonde, wanting to keep the appearance of confidence and to strike fear into the kurta. He can feel his eyes get duller in warning. I won't show him fear.

"Sure. I'd love to talk to you Killua." Kurapika smiles. The bastard looks smug. "Gon why don't you and Leorio hang out in our room while me and Killua talk? After we're done I'll talk with you."

Killua's eyes narrow at that but he doesn't say anything. He bites his lip for now. "Yeah go ahead Gon this won't take long." Killua takes a step towards the blonde.

"Okay." Gon smiles. Leorio looks a bit tense. He gives Kurapika a look only for the blonde to give him a nod. Leorio grips his fist before he sighs.

"Come on lets go watch a movie or something." Leorio smiles over at his younger friend as they start walking down the hallway towards their room. Killua keeps his back to them, staring at Kurapika with dark intent. He listens to Gon's sweet voice talk about this and that. He doesn't suspect a thing. Good. This will be a lot easier then. Kurapika's gray eyes are on the two figures leaving them, he watches the two friends till they disappear into a room, finally making eye contact with the ex-assassin.

"Let's talk in your room so not to cause a scene." Kurapika closes his eyes as he walks to Killua's room door and opens it up, walking in with Killua right behind him. "Since you want to talk then you have your reason yes?" Kurapika turns around to find Killua glaring at him darkly. His aura spiking causing small bits of electricity to be seen around the boy. I can't control it. I don't want you to have him. My reason is...because he's mine. Because I love him. So say it!

Killua wills himself to speak but he chokes on the words. Kurapika narrows his eyes, his chains appearing on his hand. He makes a stance but he's not going to attack him first. Kurapika is on the defensive. "I don't want to fight you Killua. I want to be able to talk this out like civilized people."

"Don't confess to Gon. Forget your feelings for him." Killua growls out, gripping his fist by his side. He keeps himself planted in place when all his body wants to do is attack. Get rid of the threat. Swiftly, efficiently...

That's not who I am anymore.

"Why? If you give me a good enough reason I may just listen to you Killua! But if you insist on trying to bully me to keep me away from Gon I will push back and I will confess to Gon. What are you so afraid of? You don't own Gon." Kurapika's words strike a cord in him, Killua's bangs cover his eyes, his breathing uneven. "What's so bad about me and Gon being together? I'll treat him right. I'll care for him and watch after him. I'll be his strength when he's weak and when he cries I'll be there to wipe his tears and reassure him. I'll make sure he wants for nothing, i'll give him everything that I am." Kurapika's words keep pushing him and pushing him. His face is pale, sweat dripping down his neck, his lips trembling.

Something inside the ex-assassin snaps when he sees an image of Gon and Kurapika together, in each others arms, smiling while Killua stands off to the side, alone, force to watch as everything is ripped from him.

"Shut up!" Killua screams, punching the wall next to him to stop himself from attacking the blonde in front of him. If he hits him once he won't be able to stop in this state. His fist goes through the wall making a large hole but in this moment Killua could care less. He doesn't even notice as he glares darkly at the blonde, his breathing jagged. Electricity escapes him, moving into the wall through his fist from being unstable. He can feel his hair starting to lift up from the electrical current. His hands have turned to claws and he knows, oh he knows he's giving Kurapika a deadly look. The blonde has gone pale, a drop of sweat falls off his forehead but the kurta doesn't step back. He stands tall, staring at him with a bravery that Killua would have admired if he wasn't so pissed at his friend right now. Pissed at the situation. Pissed at himself.

"Killua...calm down."

"Like hell I will! I don't care what you say! Where did this interest in Gon come from anyway?" Killua can't stop his words from flowing. "You can't have Gon! You can't have him because he's mine! I love him! You can't be the one to dry his tears or sleep with him. You can't be the one to stay by his side. You can't be the one to take care of him because I'm the one who does all those things! No matter what you say you'll never love him like I do! He's everything to me! He's...everything I...have..." Killua's roar slowly dies off, his aura stabilizing, his dull eyes becoming normal and watery, his voice a whisper and his claws back to vulnerable flesh.

"You can't take him. Maybe you would be good for him...maybe Gon even likes you but...don't confess to him. If you take him..." Killua hears his voice break. He sounds so weak and stupid. How shameful...Killua's heart thuds slowly in his chest. "...You'll take everything from me." His lips tingle from confessing all this to the blonde. He feels vulnerable, exposed. Killua swallows down the lump in his throat. He feels like crying. He wants to but he won't. Not now. Depending on how this turns out, possibly later. But not now.

There's a tense silence between the two. Killua dare not look at him. He waits for what Kurapika will say about his confession.

" Okay." Kurapika sighs deeply. "I won't confess to Gon."

"...What?" Killua looks up at Kurapika in surprise, not expecting that reaction at all. His wide eyes take in the blonde smiling gently at him. Such a nice smile.

"It's okay. I won't confess to Gon. I understand now why you've been acting like this. Your reason is because you love Gon. You're my friend Killua. I wouldn't try to take away someone you love. You're closer to Gon anyway. You're his best friend, the closest person he is to. If there's anyone who deserves him it's you." Kurapika's words are so sincere, it takes the ex-assassin aback. He can only gap at him.

"But...But you love Gon too. You'd just give up on that for my sake?"

"Of course. We're friends. It's what friends do. I don't like how we've been fighting. Gon wouldn't want this. I'll move on from Gon. It probably is just a fleeting emotion anyway I don't think we're compatible once I really think about it."

"...I wouldn't do that for you. I wouldn't give up on Gon for you." Killua glares at the wall but his eyes have soften and his blood isn't ice cold. He doesn't feel sick anymore. A silent relief washing over his body.

"I know and I wouldn't want you to. As soon as I heard how you feel I knew. You're the one for Gon Killua." The ex-assassin's heart skips a beat, his eyes lighting up as he looks over at Kurapika with wide ,surprised eyes. "The emotion that was coming off of you...your feelings for Gon almost brought you to tears. I know that you'll give Gon everything and your love isn't temporary. You really are in love with Gon. My feelings compare nothing to yours. I don't want to hurt you Killua. And I think Gon would be happier with you." Kurapika smiles gently, holding out his hand. "So lets move on from this okay? I don't want to fight you anymore. I want us to go back to being friends. You don't have to worry about me chasing after Gon. I promise to give up." Kurapika crosses his pinky over his heart.

"...Kurapika..." Killua swallows down the relief he feels and the gratitude he has towards this man that he had just wanted to kill. Kurapika is doing something he never could. He thinks Killua is the better choice. It must hurt. God, Killua knew how it hurt him. The ex-assassin grabs Kurapika's hand, shaking it firmly. "...Thank you." Killua mumbles, glancing off to the side before he lets go of Kurapika's hand. "Now we're friends again. Just keep off Gon and we won't have any issues."

"Of course." Kurapika chuckles, the air between them becoming lighter when it was so dark just before. "So what are you going to do now?"

"hm?" Killua raises his eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"What is your next step in getting Gon?"

"Ah..." Killua feels his cheeks dust a soft pink. "...I'm not sure. Honestly I got a bit freaked out because I just learned that Gon's gay...don't' tell him I told you." Killua gives Kurapika a look. " Him being gay meant you were more of threat but...that also means that he has a chance of liking me too. I think i'm going to drop subtle hints and slowly try to get him interested in me."

"Why don't you just confess your feelings. You were so passionate back there. If you share that same passion with Gon I'm sure he'll fall right into your arms." Kurapika smiles encouragingly.

"...But what if he doesn't like me?" Killua mumbles, feeling vulnerable after saying what's been bothering him for years. "What if even with him being gay and liking qualities I have...he just doesn't like me? What if he turns me down? Everything would be so awkward and my heart..." It would be broken. "It's just easier this way. I'm playing it safe. Like I always do."

"You'll never get anywhere if you don't take risks." Kurapika puts his hands on his hip.

"The risk is too great. Like I said, I can't lose him."

"What do you think Gon would just push you aside if he doesn't return your feelings? Being his best friend you should know he wouldn't do that."

"Yeah he wouldn't but what if things get awkward between us and we just slowly drift apart? It could happen and you know it. I'll play it safe...try to get Gon to fall for me. Doing it this way is best." I can still keep the hope alive that Gon might want me. "I'll get Gon to come to me...that way there is no risk."

"How long do you think that will take? Gon is dense, subtle hints will go over his head. I'm sure being Gay is new to him..who knows if he'll even know what to do? How to start a relationship with someone he likes?"

"I have all the time in the world. Because I'm planning on always being by his side. So I'll teach him if he doesn't know. I'll educate him and...hope for the best." That's all I should do. I shouldn't try to sway Gon's feelings. I shouldn't try to trap him in a relationship with me because we're friends and I love him. I want Gon to love me in return. I want to be his everything...

Even though it will never happen. He can dream. He can hope. He'll hold on to this hope as long as he can. Once it's shattered...Killua's sure a part of him will shatter with it.

Kurapika stares at him for a moment before smiling strangely, shaking his head as he moves his blonde locks out of his face. "Well I guess that's that. I guess I'll go talk with Gon now."

"You said you would stop." Killua's voice gets dark, thinking the blonde had tricked him only for Kurapika to wink.

"I promised Killua. I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to talk to him. Gon will think it's suspicious if after we talk I no longer have to talk to him. Also I'm buying you time to fix that." Kurapika points at the wall, Killua looking over only to wince when he sees the large hole he put in the wall. "I'm sure if Gon saw this he'd want to know what happened in here."

"Shit." Killua curses at his own strength, rubbing his temple as he looks at the damage. The first thing coming to his mind are those bright amber eyes. If Gon sees this he'll want to know what happened. He'll worry first thinking someone attacked us and then when he finds out it was me...how do I explain what I just did without telling him things I don't want to confess yet? That I'm too scared to confess?

"How long do you think you'll need?" Kurapika walks over towards the door, glancing back at Killua.

"...I'll have to run and get some supplies and then get to work so...give me 3 hours if you can. Longer if possible." Killua gives Kurapika a serious look. He smiles, and it feels like it's been awhile since he's genuinely smiled at the blonde.

"I'll do my best. I'll get Leorio to help distract him. Because he most likely will want to go back to you as soon as possible." Killua feels his cheeks heat up as he waves Kurapika off.

"Whatever just hold him off. Train with him, that always shuts him up." Killua mumbles, feeling a calm happiness spread over him. Everything's going to be okay. Kurapika is his friend. He's stopped chasing after Gon. He's helping him cover his ass right now. Killua can still be with Gon and slowly reel him in. It's okay...

Keep telling yourself that.

"Godspeed." Kurapika chuckles slightly before he walks out of the room, leaving Killua alone to look at the damage he's done...He wanted to put this hole in Kurapika just a few minutes ago. Killua's glad he was able to control himself. Kurapika is his friend. His feelings clouded his judgment but deep down Killua knew this. He was just too afraid to admit what he's been hiding all these years. He was worried Kurapika could some how destroy him with the precious information. But no...Killua confessed his love for Gon and nothing bad happened.

He gained his friend back.

I was able to stop Kurapika...I was able to confess to him but...Killua puts a hand over his heart, thinking of those bright amber eyes that have trapped him body and soul...I'm still too much of a coward to confess it to you. I'll stay by your side. Do all I can do to become everything that you need. I'll hope for the best...but I can't tell him how I feel. Not yet. I'm too afraid that my love will damage him. Will taint him...I'm afraid of what I don't know and what I do know. I'm a coward...

I'm just afraid of losing you Gon. My light. My world. My everything.

---

Kurapika closes the door behind him once he walks out of Gon's hotel room, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He covers his eyes with his hands, composing himself before he goes to get Gon. That could have gone so bad. Kurapika wasn't expecting Killua to get prepared to fight him, and he didn't expect him to punch the wall. Killua wanted to hurt him and if the ex-assassin were to attack him in that small room the kurta would have been in trouble. Kurapika can move but he's still slower than he normally is in reaction time.

In that moment Kurapika felt fear. Killua was unstable and close to snapping. If not for the fact that Kurapika is a friend and a friend of Gon's he might be dead right now. That was intense. Kurapika shouldn't have pushed him as hard as he did but he wanted Killua to admit his feelings. He wanted this whole thing to be over between them. Killua just doesn't know how to express his feelings. There's too many things going on in his head and he always thinks of the worse case scenario. That's how he was raised.

Killua broke down in that room with him. He spilled out his guts, the words truthful and powerful. After the truth was out...Killua's anger left, showing a desperate love sicken boy. Torn between friendship and his possessiveness of Gon. Torn between light and darkness. Kurapika couldn't hold a grudge on him. Even though Killua threaten him with those dark eyes to take his life, Kurapika didn't see him as an enemy. Kurapika knows his actions stem from a deep love for Gon and his years of being an assassin. It's hard to break old habits, especially with something that can be scary and confusing like love.

I'm just glad he admitted to his feelings...and now we're friends again. He's completely calmed down. I think things can go back to normal as long as I keep my promise which I will. I still feel bad for lying about my feelings but...it's for the best.

Kurapika walks down the hallway, his heart slowing down. I wonder if they heard the bang? Kurapika can't help to think as he knocks on their room door. There's a rustling sound before the door swings open, Gon's excited grin both surprising him and making Kurapika's heart light.

"Kurapika! Hm where's Killua?" Gon looks behind him, looking for his best friend.

"He's in your room. He said he would just stay in there till we're done talking." Kurapika smiles gently, coming into the room, shutting the door behind him.

"Okay." Gon smiles. "So what did you want to talk about Kurapika?" those eyes look at him so eagerly and honestly.

"Let's go out on the balcony Gon. We'll be back Leorio." Kurapika looks over to see Leorio sitting on the couch. The brown haired male was smiling about something only to tense up when Kurapika came in. Leorio's eyes are looking him over with concern. He looks relieved when Leorio finds no damage.

"Alright that's fine. I'll be in here." Leorio grins, their eyes don't meet. "Why don't you tell him what you've been telling me Gon?"

"I will!" Gon beams as he walks with Kurapika out into the balcony. The blonde gives Leorio a nod when he looks at him. His heart flutters when their eyes meet, their gazes shift away. It's hard to look at Leorio after what happen. He's worried if he looks too long all these questions and feelings will just spill out of him. He'll have to wait for Gon to leave. "You can go first Kurapika." Gon smiles when the blonde closes the sliding door, leaving the two males alone on the balcony. Gon leans on the rails, smiling back at him, the sun is setting over his head, the sky bright colors of red, orange, pink and yellow. Kurapika can't help to muse that if he was going to confess to Gon this would have been the perfect time to do it.

But Gon isn't who he wants. Gon isn't who he craves. He isn't the light that he yearns for. "I want to tell you my secret. I want to share it with you Gon. Since I know your secret of Love I feel it's only fair you know mine." Kurapika walks till he's standing next to the younger male, staring out towards the sky. Gon is silent, those amber eyes are trained on him though, giving him his full attention. "Me and you are a lot alike in a sense. I'm also in love with my best friend."Kurapika swallows, licking his lips. He feels his cheeks tint pink. "I'm in love with Leorio."

"Really?" Gon's eyes widen in surprise. There's no disgust in his voice or judgment. Just curiosity. "wow I would have never guessed..." Gon frowns. "...Oh. Is that why you were upset with Leorio on the ship?...because he did things with that woman."

"...Yes." Kurapika's heart is beating so fast. The blonde felt like he owed this to Killua too. He forced Killua to admit his love to him so...he's admitting his love to Gon. It truly is hard. It's difficult talking about something like this. Even to someone like Gon. The raven haired male stares at Kurapika for a moment before he smiles, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Could you tell me the story? How did you fall for Leorio?" Gon leans on the railing, looking very interested, those amber eyes kind. "Is he how you found out you liked men?"

"I don't know when I fell for Leorio. I just knew that my feelings were different for him during the hunter exam than they were for you and Killua. As years went by, and all I could do was keep contact by phone...I longed more and more for his voice. For his company. Some nights get so lonely but then he calls and it's okay." Kurapika's gray eyes get glossed over his mind drifting off to those cold nights in a hotel some where. "I wanted to see him but at the same time I knew I had things to do and so did he. Once I realized I loved him...I wasn't sure what to do." Kurapika looks down at the empty street. "...and he is how I found out I like men."

"What are you going to do? To get Leorio I mean?" Gon's voice gets Kurapika to look over at his friend. "After hearing about this and seeing that look on your face...I want to help you get Leorio. You've helped me with Killua so now I want to help you." Kurapika flushes from the look of determination Gon is giving him. "I'm new at being gay but I'll do all I can."

"Thank you Gon but that won't be necessary." Kurapika fiddles with his fingers, thinking deeply. "I think...I may just confess my feelings to him. I don't want to be left in the dark about this. If there's a chance for us I want to take it. If there isn't a chance I want to know so I can move on."

"But you love him a lot." Gon takes a step forward, getting Kurapika to tense. "I can feel it...so how will you move on?"

"By focusing on my mission in life. Collecting my brethren's eyes." And avenging them.

"But what happens when you've finished that?" Gon frowns.

"I'll be bound to find another lover." Kurapika waves off his friend.

"...I don't want that to happen to you Kurapika." Gon puts a hand on his shoulder. "I don't want you to have lonely nights anymore. You sounded so sad when you said that. Even if Leorio says no at first you should keep trying." Gon looks at him seriously, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Gon if he says no I doubt I'll change his mind." Kurapika looks away from those bright eyes, staring up at the sun that's slowly disappearing into the sea. "Don't worry about me. I may love Leorio a lot but I have the ability to move on. Everyone does."

"But it wouldn't be your happy ending." Gon sounds so innocent and sincere.

"...Not everyone gets their happy ending." Kurapika's eyes dull, his stomach turning inside out when he thinks of the boy with the rotted face, hanging by a chain, swinging silently in the rock alone with the name of Sam. "I don't deserve one either."

"What are you saying Kurapika? Of course you do. Why would you say that you don't?" When Kurapika doesn't answer him, he frowns. "Whether you think you deserve it or not I think you deserve it Kurapika. I want you to have your happy ending. I don't want you to be lonely anymore. You're kind and strong. You'll make a great lover for Leorio." Gon smiles brightly, gently.

He doesn't know. He doesn't know I'm a murderer. He doesn't understand. Yet his words that are so kind get his heart to flutter and a lump to form in his throat. He swallows it down. Gon wishes for his happiness while Kurapika wishes for his. Thank you Gon. You've given me the courage I need to face this. Whatever happens, I'll move on from it. Maybe I'll fine a new happy ending. Who knows...seeing you look at me like that...

I wish to be the person you see. I wish to be happy for your sake. I want to give up everything but...I know I won't. Empty eye sockets and whispered screams haunt me. They call for revenge. Yet my stomach hurts and twist. I feel sick thinking what I've done with my own hands.

I won't let it get to me now.

"I hope so." Kurapika smiles slightly, hoping it doesn't look strange.

"What are you going to do if Leorio returns your feelings?" Gon smiles excitedly.

"...I don't know." Kurapika blinks, taking aback by the question. "I haven't really thought about it."

"You two should go out on a date and I could come with you so I can see how a date between two men is suppose to go!" Gon's eyes shine.

"W-Well Gon it's the same as a date between a man and a woman." Kurapika flushes.

"So who pays for the dinner? And who plans the date? Since it's both men..." Gon frowns, rubbing his chin, thinking.

"It can be both or just one. It's up to the couple." Kurapika glances over at Gon. "You like planning your dates right? So you can plan the date if you want."

"And do things that I would do with a woman?" Gon thinks. "So Killua is the woman? Or am I the woman?"

"Your both men." Kurapika watches the gears in Gon's head turn before he grabs his head.

"Eh this is hard. I don't' really understand, that's why if you guys go on a date I want to watch." Gon smiles excitedly.

"...We'll see Gon." Kurapika flushes. "But really it's the same as dating a woman but it's with a man...I guess it is a little confusing at first." Kurapika thinks for a moment before smiling.

"I just want to know because I think i'm going to take Killua out on a date soon. But I want it to be perfect. Something he'll never forget." Gon's words get Kurapika's eyes to widen, looking over at the raven haired male with an excitement.

"Anything you plan will be something that Killua will never forget." Kurapika smiles gently. "If you need any help I'd be glad to."

"I'm going to start writing down my ideas tomorrow after i'm finished could you look at it? I've made good progress with Killua! He's touching me a lot more and he called me the most beautiful person in the world. He really loves me. When he said that I felt so happy..." Gon's eyes get soft with emotions, staring off into the now darken sky. "I like when Killua is honest."

"He really does love you Gon. Just keep pushing as you are and Killua will fall into your arms. I think you should make the first move." Kurapika thinks back to Killua's fearful expression.

"...Hmm maybe. I really want to just say how I feel but...I guess I'm just stubborn. I like playing this game. Who will give in first?" Gon smiles sheepishly over at Kurapika. "I guess it's childish but I want to see if I can tempt Killua enough he confesses first." Gon looks off the sky. "...I already know the answer. I know Killua loves me. When I was in his arms...i felt it. I had just a taste of it and I want more." Gon smiles brightly. "I know he's already mine."

Kurapika looks at his friend in surprise. He said it so innocently but there is a knowledge in the boy that makes him not as innocent. He's turned this into a game. It's not cruel though. Gon just wants to see if he can hold out longer than Killua but he understands that they both love each other. He's already claimed Killua as his without confessing. Just as Killua boldly stated back in the room that Gon was his, even though he hasn't confessed either. It's so strange how alike but different their minds work. They both think of the other as theirs. Yet they haven't made a move to make that true. Killua is even planning on doing the same thing, dropping hints for Gon to pick up on and fall for him. He wants Gon to confess to him as well. This could take awhile or it will be resolved soon. It depends on the moves these two decide on.

This has become a game of endurance.

Kurapika's thoughts are broken when Gon winces rubbing his stomach. The blonde feels that strong unease in his heart, those gray eyes looking at him in concern. "You're stomach acting up again?"

"Yeah a little bit. It's not like before though. This just feels like I have to go to the bathroom but I don't. I can't tell if it's because i'm hungry or what."

...should I mention the curse? Should I worry him about it when there's nothing they can do at the moment?

"I know." Gon's voice causes Kurapika to tense, he looks over at him in surpise, those amber eyes locking with his. "The curse. I was thinking the same thing when I threw up after eatting ice cream. I was doing fine...that shouldn't have happened. It doesn't matter though. We'll find Clover soon. Dont' worry." Gon smiles gently.

He's smiling at me like I have to be reassured, like i'm the one with the curse. He's the one who's going to suffer if we aren't able to find Clover. But he's calm, no fear in his expression...that's good at least. He's not letting it get to him mentally. Incredible.

"Yes, the enemy should attack sooner or later." Kurapika nods, adding to the reassurance. "Then we'll have them."

"Yup! The only thing I don't like is that I made Killua worry today." Gon frowns before he smiles at Kurapika. "I want to go see Killua. Talking about all has gotten me pumped up on working on winning this game."

"Killua looked tired after we talked. He said he didn't want to be bothered for a few hours. So why don't we watch a movie together just the three of us like old times?" Kurapika smiles, hoping that will work. It's only been an hour. Killua couldn't have fixed the hole in the wall yet. "Killua said he could use the rest."

"Aw but I want to see him now..." Gon pouts, thinking for a moment before smiling. "But okay. Let's watch a movie together." Gon smiles but Kurapika can tell he's a little disappointed. "Just one movie and then I'll go to Killua. That should be enough time for him."

"I think so too." Kurapika smiles in relief.

That's done, now he just has to sit though the movie sandwiched between Gon and Leorio, the man he loves and has kissed. Today has been tiring and it's no where near over.

---

"Killuaaa." Gon whines, knocking on the door that's been locked. "Could you open the door? You've had a couple of hours..." Gon mumbles. We could have rested together... The movie was fun with Kurapika and Leorio but the whole time he couldn't help to think of the ex-assassin. It was strange doing something without him. It didn't feel right. The whole time he felt as if something was missing. His right side felt empty. It's gotten to the point that everything feels strange if Killua isn't with him. He's been by his side non stop for 5 years so of course it would feel different. Gon decided to give Killua some space because he asked for it and to see if he could have fun without him.

Watching a movie without Killua just proved that everything is funner with Killua.

Gon hears some rustling behind the door before it opens, Killua stands there, his face blank but his hair is ruffled up and there's something white on his shirt. Gon blinks, Killua doesn't look like he's gotten any rest at all. He looks tired. "How did you sleep? Kurapika said you needed some time alone to rest..." Gon sees something shift in those purple orbs before he waves him off.

"I wasn't able to sleep but a moment to myself was good." Killua walks off into the room, his arms behind his head.

"Oh." Gon tilts his head walking into the room, the door shutting behind him. It smells strange in here...like plaster? Clay? Gon sniffs the air, glancing over at the wall. He blinks. Some of the wall looks to be a different color and it's what smells-

"So what did Kurapika talk to you about?" Killua grabs his hand, pulling him away from the wall. "And what did you do while I was resting?"

"Kurapika told me another secret of his." Gon smiles, thinking of the conversation he had with Kurapika only to frown when he think of that lonely look in those gray eyes.

"What's wrong?" Killua catches Gon's frown immediately. He sits on the bed, staring at Gon intently, letting of his hand as Gon sits next to him.

"Kurapika told me he likes someone. I wish I could help but I don't really know how. I'm still trying to figure out how being gay works. Kurapika has helped me so I want to help him but...I'm really not sure if the person he likes is gay. But I want Kurapika to be happy." Gon frowns. "He looked so lonely Killua."

"...Did he say who he likes?" Killua has a strange look on his face. Those purple orbs hold mixed emotions.
Gon bites his lip before he looks at Killua seriously. "Do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Yeah." Killua nods, Gon just realizing how close their faces are but he doesn't back down. And neither does Killua.

"...He likes Leorio."Gon whispers, feeling bad for telling Kurapika's secret but maybe Killua can help where he can't.

Killua's expression falls. He looks surprised. He blinks once. Twice. "...Really? Are you sure he wasn't just pulling your leg Gon? I mean...come on, Leorio?"

"He wasn't Killua, I saw it in his eyes. He's really in love with Leorio. He told me he fell for him during the hunter exam and that he's planning on confessing his feelings for him...Kurapika said if he turns him down then he'll give up on trying to get Leorio but I don't want that to happen. Kurapika really wants to be with him."Gon puts a hand over his chest. Killua still looks like someone just slapped him in the face. Confused.

"He really wants to be with Leorio?" Killua repeats slowly, seeming more confused with how Gon nods, those amber eyes serious. "The old man? He's in love with him but..." Killua trails off, his eyes shifting before he shakes his head. "If that's true I hate to say it but Leorio isn't gay. There's no way. He'll chase after any woman that breathes."

"Maybe we can turn him gay!" Gon puts a finger in the air, his eyes beaming brightly.

"W-What the hell? We can't just turn him gay! It doesn't work like that!" Killua looks at him in disbelief, rubbing his fist into Gon's skull.

"Ow! So there's no way to make him like men?...I just wanted Kurapika to have a chance. If Leorio turns him down he'll be really hurt Killua."

"It's none of our business. Leorio is Leorio and Kurapika is Kurapika. You don't want Leorio to be forced into a relationship he doesn't want just for Kurapika's sake do you?" Killua's eyes gloss over.

"No...but I don't want Kurapika to be sad either..." Gon frowns. "It doesn't seem fair I have it so easy..."

"What do you mean?" Killua looks at his best friend.

"Kurapika told me that not everyone can get their happy ending. I have it easy because I know I've already gotten mine. I want him to have his." Gon smiles to himself, noticing how Killua's interest is spiked even though he's trying to act like he's not interested.

"You already have your happy ending? What do you mean?" Killua looks at him from the corner of his eye.

"Come here." Gon uses his finger to give the come here motion. Killua obeys, moving closer, swallowing. Gon reaches out, tucking Killua's hair behind his ear, exposing his left ear. The ex-assassin is tense as Gon leans in, his lips so close to his ear. "It's a secret."Gon whispers, his lips grazing Killua's ear getting Gon to shiver a bit. He wants to lick it but decides to back off before he gets too excited. He giggles when he sees how red Killua's face is.

"Stupid." Killua shoves Gon away, his eyebrow twitching in frustration. He's so flustered. Gon feels proud of himself that he can make Killua's face like that with simply whispering something to him. The game is on. "If you weren't going to tell me don't make me all excited that you are."

"I'll tell you someday." Gon teases as he reaches over to grab Killua's hand, wanting to touch him some more. He's feeling that warm sensation in his body.

"...Maybe we should head to bed." Killua gets goosebumps on his arm when Gon touches his muscles with his finger tips. Gon's sure that Killua just flexed a bit. His cheeks are that pink color.

"If you want to. We're going to have fun at the beach tomorrow." Gon nuzzles his head against Killua's. "I'm glad I'm back by your side Killua. It felt weird watching the movie without you." Gon rejoices in the feeling of Killua's body next to his, his hair tickling his cheek and his scent.

Killua is tense next to him for a moment...only to relax into his touch. Killua rubs his head a bit against Gon's, his arm wrapping around his waist. Killua gets tense again but he doesn't move his arm. As if he's waiting for Gon to say something about. Gon only moves closer to Killua, till their thighs are touching on the bed. He wraps his arms around Killua's chest, aware of how warm it is where Killua's hand rest on his hip.

No one moves or says anything. Gon's afraid if he does Killua will stop what he's doing. He likes this feeling. He likes Killua's arm around his waist. "I like when you hold me like this..." Gon smiles into Killua's hair, feeling the body he's holding get warmer. "You did it when we were walking with everyone too. When you called me beautiful. It makes me happy."

"...you like it?" Killua's voice sounds deeper as his thumb caresses his hip, his fingers twitching a bit on his flesh.
"I like when you touch me." Gon smiles, his heart beating so fast and his chest feels so light. His body is starting to react but no matter how much he wants to, he won't confess. He won't push too hard. He wants Killua to.

The ex-assassin's hand twitches, the blush reaching his ears. He doesn't say anything but his hand starts to move. It comes up, dipping into the slight curve of Gon's waist before going down again, stopping on his hip. Gon can feel his heat start to pool lower as Killua touches his chest and his waist. Gon doesn't know what but he wants more.

"I-I think we should go to bed Gon." Killua says more firmly this time but his voice wavers as he takes his arm off of Gon. Killua is about to give in. Gon smiles to himself as he stands up. He feels disappointed that Killua isn't going to touch him more but that's okay.

"Okay." Gon yawns, taking off his shirt and pulling down his pants to get ready for bed, staying in his boxers. Gon looks back at Killua to see the ex-assassin look away. "But first you're good night kiss." Gon smiles sweetly. Pay back for lying to me Killua.

"Uh Gon I don't t-think-" Killua starts to protest only for Gon to get next to him, moving his hair out of the way to latch his lips into the tender skin of his neck. A strange sound leaves Killua's lips. It sounded like one of those sounds he makes when he touches himself. Gon feels himself get excited as he sucks on Killua's flesh, rejoicing in how he's making Killua's breathing uneven and how warm his body is. Gon's getting too hot himself so he bites Killua's neck lightly before pulling away, grinning. "Good night Killua!" Gon jumps into the bed, landing on his stomach, his head buried in the pillow. He can't help to chuckle to himself. He got Killua good. I'll win in no time! Killua was so flustered! Gon tries not to think about it too much or he'll get hard.

Gon's eyes widen when he feels the bed sink in and a body hovering over his. Then there's a pressure, that body on top of his, his chest on his back. Gon's face becomes flushed as he feel Killua's lips against his ear. "Let me give you your good night kiss Gon." His voice is so deep and silky. Gon feels a pang of arousal as he grips the bed, closing his eyes tightly as Killua slowly brings his lips to his neck before those soft lips start to kiss his sensitive skin.

Gon's heart beat is too fast, he's sure Killua can hear it as he nibbles at his skin, sucking and pulling and licking...He's doing a lot more than Gon just did. Gon lets one of those sounds leave his lips when Killua sucks a bit hard, the feeling of Killua on his body, his waist rubbing against his backside it too much. Gon's too hot, between his legs his arousal twitches, begging to be touched.

When the sound left Gon's mouth Killua stops. "Does it feel good Gon? Do you like it when I do this?"

Killua is good at this. At this rate I'm going to lose! Gon's blush has spread. He wants to touch Killua and kiss him. He wants this pressure to be relieved. When Gon doesn't answer him Killua shifts till he gets off of his body. "...Gon?" Killua's voice is different now. His voice isn't deep and confident. It's quieter, weaker...afraid. "...did you not like it?"

"No I really liked it Killua." Gon tries to keep his voice from sounding too out of breath. He needs to take care of this problem before he loses his game. He wants to do dirty things with Killua though he doesn't understand what those dirty things are. Since they are both men...how would that even work? "I really like when Killua touches me. It makes me feel..." Gon shifts nervously, feeling those eyes on him.

"...Gon look at me." Killua's voice is stern. Gon glances over at Killua, the ex-assassin takes in his expression, seeming to search for something before he relaxes. "...How does it make you feel?" Killua's eyes are softer.

"Amazing." Gon watches as Killua's face gets more flushed, an emotion in those eyes Gon hasn't seen before.

"Do you want...more?" Killua leans closer, his voice getting low again after seeing Gon's blushing face.

"More?" Gon tenses, feeling his arousal throb at the thought of more. But how much more can I take? And what if Killua sees i'm hard?

"...I like touching you too Gon." Killua doesn't look at him, those eyes glossed with that emotion. Gon shivers at his tone of voice. He just wants to give in to his best friend. He wants to be touched but Gon bites his lip.

"Killua could you go turn off the lights?" Gon takes a deep breath, trying to control himself. Killua doesn't do anything for a moment before he moves and turns off the light. When Gon feels Killua get back in bed, he turns towards him, getting under the blanket to hide his problem. "I do want more...but I'm tired tonight. Come closer Killua, I want to cuddle with you."

Killua moves without a word, getting closer to the raven haired male. Gon starts to run his hands through his hair, enjoying the feeling of Killua's hair between his fingers. Killua sighs in contentment, curling towards him as Gon scratches his head lightly. Killua doesn't say anything to him. I wonder how he's feeling right now? Is he having such a strong inner battle like I am? Gon closes his eyes tightly...before he relaxes. His hand slows in it's movements. After awhile Killua moves closer to him, Gon can feel his breathing on his lips.

"You don't know how close I am to losing it." Killua whispers. Gon knows he wasn't meant to hear it. He thinks he's asleep. "I want you..." why can't you say that when I'm awake? Gon keeps himself still even though he wants to tackle Killua. Gon feels Killua get up and soon the bathroom door is closed.

Gon puts a hand over his chest, sighing in relief...

At least I know I wasn't the only one who was about to lose it. Maybe we're more equally matched then I thought...Gon smiles to himself...

I better watch out or it will be me who's going to crack first.