Chapter X – Stories of Love and Hate
The first term went quickly. With Quidditch season starting soon; Harry, as captain, was busy with tryouts and then practices. The fact the Ginny made the team and Harry had to be close to her every practice didn't help his concentration on other matters.
It also turned out that at tryouts, Hermione had confunded Cormac McLaggen, the player who was going against Ron as keeper. She defended herself saying that that McLaggen had a bad attitude which would be bad for the team; so she had actually done not just Ron, but Harry and the whole team a favor by what she did. Harry had to agree this was true but hoped Ron would never find out.
On the second Sunday of September James showed up at ten o'clock for his usual class to find more than a hundred students waiting; half of Gryffindor, and a good number of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. He didn't comment on the number and got busy teaching all of them.
By the third week of classes Harry discovered early that the "Half Blood Prince" was not only good at potions; but also made up a number of his own spells. Hermione protested every time Harry tried one. She resented the book because Harry had consistently produced better potions than she could since following the "Prince's" instructions.
By the end of September things had settled into a routine as they did every year with this year's distraction for Harry being what Malfoy was up to.
Though he was always down after Snape's class; in mid October on the first Hogsmeade weekend, Harry had his first major bout with depression in months. Ginny had been doing Legilimency on Harry again usually after a DADA class and an encounter with Snape. Without thinking, he asked Ginny if she wanted to go into town with him, Ron, and Hermione. She told Harry she was going to Hogsmeade with Dean and later in the Hogshead Inn he saw Ginny and Dean at the far side of the room snogging seriously. Ron got upset; but Harry was worse. Why wasn't it him snogging with her he thought?
Then something happened to distract him again. Someone had given Katie Bell a cursed necklace while she was at the Hogshead and when she touched it on the way back to the school she was almost killed. Harry was sure it was Malfoy that did it but had no proof so nobody believed him. It did take his mind off of Ginny as he again concentrated on what he thought Malfoy was doing.
The next day was James' October class and when it was finished James asked Harry to stay. "Hermione asked me to talk to you." He said "She seems to think you're not concentrating on my lessons or your regular lessons. She said it's why you have so much trouble with wand less magic and non verbal spells."
"Oh she does?" Harry said with some anger in his voice. "I don't need her advice on how to learn my lessons."
James laughed and said, "She's been helping you and Ron with your lessons for the past five years and now you say you don't need her help; I think it's a little late to argue that point. Calm down and think, you know she loves you like a brother and only wants what's best for you so admit it, she's right. Now tell me what's on your mind that's so important you can't concentrate in class?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Harry said.
James stared at him and said, "I've been trying to avoid the subject since you saved her life that first time in the Chamber of Secrets. You were both were too young to deal with it then; but now you're almost seventeen, almost of age, and since you won't start the conversation I guess it's time I do.
Do you remember me talking to you on platform 9¾ when you came home for the summer after the Chamber of Secrets events; I told you there would always be a special bond between you and Ginny?"
Harry thought, "James knows its Ginny on my mind; is it that obvious or is James using Legilimency to see my thoughts?" "Yes," he answered "I remember you telling me that. Sirius tried to tell me I fancied Ginny that summer at Grimmauld Place; but I denied it and wouldn't listen to him."
"Well Harry," he said "You're not the first boy to deny that he loves a girl because he's afraid to openly tell her so; and I must say all it does is make you miserable. Especially in this case where it so obvious to everyone; and the fact she love you to is also obvious. If you want to get your mind on your lessons you have to settle this matter first.
Have you ever tried to tell her you love her?"
"No." he said. "I mean yes, I tried but couldn't."
"Why not?" James asked.
"She's seeing another bloke," Harry answered "Dean Thomas, a friend of mine."
"So, is it that you don't want to hurt Dean's feelings; or that you're afraid people will think you're trying to steal Dean's girl and think badly of you?" James said.
"Both of those;" Harry answered "but also that if Ginny really fancies Dean she might get angry with me and I don't want to lose the friendship we have now."
"I see; Dumbledore and I have been afraid of this situation for four years now. We didn't want to play match maker for thirteen and fourteen year olds; so we just waited and hoped neither of you would get involved with someone else before you both realized you need each other.
It's up to you Harry, but I think you have to tell Ginny and Dean the truth or you'll be miserable; and the sooner you do it the better."
"Yeah," Harry said aloud; then to himself he added "easy for you to say; but how do I find the words." Then aloud again, "I will."
Slughorn began to throw parties to which he invited those students he wanted to groom for future advancement. That included Harry, Ginny, and Hermione but not Ron; which further increased the tension between Ron and Hermione who had never really made up since their confrontations of the summer. Harry actually found excuses to avoid Slughorn's parties which made Ron feel only a little better.
Dumbledore continued to show Harry memories of Voldemort's life without explain why.
Slughorn announced he was having a Christmas Party and Hermione thought it might be the opportunity she was looking for to get back together with Ron; but he resented the fact that Slughorn favored her and not him. A disparaging comment by Ron made Hermione angry all over again. She thought of Ginny's suggestion of asking Ron if he was a virgin in front of Lavender and the other girls; but decided instead to ask the boy Ron hated most to go to the party with her. Now all she had to do was decide who that boy was.
Slughorn also made sure Harry could not make an excuse to skip this party which meant Harry had to find a date. Harry never did get around to talking with Ginny as James suggested, and he wanted only Ginny as his date, but she was already going with Dean, so he kept putting off asking some other girl.
In the mean time, Katie Bell was no better and had been taken to St. Mungo's Hospital which meant the Quidditch team was short a chaser. Though he hated the idea because of Ginny, for the good of the team Harry picked Dean, who was next best chaser during tryouts, as an alternate rather than continuing running practices one player short with the next match so close.
Then one day after Ron was particularly bad during practice; Ron and Harry were returning to Gryffindor common room when they entered a corridor and saw Ginny and Dean snogging passionately. Harry was about to hex Dean into oblivion when Ron went wild and started a screaming match with Ginny during which she said that just because Ron never snogged a girl it didn't mean it was a dirty thing. Then they both tried to hex each other but Harry got between them.
Ron was now in a doubly bad mood because of his fights with Hermione and now with Ginny. Harry knew he had to do something to get Ron back in a good mood before the match against Slytherin. After trying all the normal things Harry came up with a last chance desperate plan. He brought his bottle of Felix Felicis to breakfast the morning of the match and pretended to put some in Ron's drink while Hermione was watching.
She told Ron not to drink it; but being mad at her he did it anyway. Thinking he had actually drunk the liquid luck, Ron's spirits were high and his play was exceptional; Gryffindor won the match. After the match Harry confessed to both of them that he never put the Liquid Luck in Ron's drink; but having been tricked only made Hermione more angry with both Harry and Ron.
At the victory celebration Lavender Brown came up on Ron and threw her arms around him. She began snogging him passionately and he responded in kind. People began to whistle and clap but not Hermione; she started crying and left the room. Harry started after her but ran into Ginny who said, "Look at the filthy hypocrite; it looks like he's trying to eat her face. But I guess, never having snogged a girl, he has to learn how sometime and Lavender is just the bitch to teach him."
Harry stopped and said, "Ginny, that's the second time you said Ron never snogged a girl. What about Hermione; did you forget about them snogging in the woods at Camelot."
"Did you ever see them snogg?" Ginny asked. "Hermione told me about it one night. Ron and Hermione's idea of snogging is not the same as yours or mine. Hermione told me all about how Ron would hold her hand and lean in and tenderly kiss her lips. Then they would hold hands for five or ten minutes then kiss again.
No tongue, no groping, no hands under the clothes; but to Ron and Hermione their kissing was a passionate snogg; though probably after this session with Lavender Ron may finally figure out what real snogging is."
As Ginny was saying it, Harry was picturing Ginny's idea of snogging, and that she was doing it with Dean, not him. He almost started crying at that idea; but he got his mind back on Hermione leaving and forced himself to follow her.
He found her in an unlocked class room and was trying to calm her down when Ron and Lavender came in thinking the room was unoccupied. Hermione produced a flock of birds with a charm and had them attack Ron chasing him down the hall while they pecked at his face and arms.
Ron and Hermione had stopped talking like in their third year and Hermione wouldn't even stay in the same room as Ron. Harry was left with either sitting in the library with Hermione; or being with Ron as Lavender constantly snogged him. Neither alternative was pleasant.
James' November lesson passed without him talking to Harry about Ginny and Harry was glad of it. He still couldn't think of the right words that wouldn't embarrass him, anger Dean, and still get the truth across to Ginny at the same time.
As Christmas approached and Slughorn's party with it, Hermione told Harry that several girls were planning to slip him love potions to get him to ask them to the party. One in particular, a dark hair very pretty girl named Romilda Vane had even given Harry a gift of chocolates that Harry had not sampled, being suspicious of what might be in it.
On the day of the party Ron, angry that he wasn't invited, made fun of Hermione in front of some girls. She broke down and ran to the girl's loo crying. Harry, figuring she needed a friend, collected her books, followed her, and was waiting in the hall for her when Luna came out instead of Hermione.
As they talked, Harry suddenly blurted out, "Luna, how would you like to come to Slughorn's party with me tonight?"
Before he even finished the words he began to wonder what made him do it. Luna was a friend but Harry never thought of her as the kind of girl he wanted to take on a date; but it was too late now, he couldn't hurt her by trying to back out.
Only Hermione and Ginny approved of Harry going with Luna; the rest of the school couldn't stop talking about the "Odd couple". Ginny finally came to Harry and said, "Don't worry about what everyone else is saying; I think it's wonderful that you asked Luna. I'm sure what you did is making her very happy."
"I think you have it backward." Harry said "I think it's all about what Luna did to make me happy; I'm sure she used Legilimency to make me ask her." Harry hesitated for a moment debating with himself whether he should say more, then decided he should and added, "She knew I couldn't ask the girl I wanted to go with because she's already going with someone else. I was planning to skip the party altogether; but Luna knew I would get in trouble with Slughorn and decided to help me the only way she could; she'd go with me."
Ginny desperately wanted to ask Harry who the girl he wanted to go with was, she was sure it was her, and she wanted to hear him say it; but decided not to embarrass him by forcing him to say it if he wasn't ready to on his own.
Hermione showed up at the party with Cormac McLaggen but ended up sorry she asked him. He turned out to be a lecher, pawing at her and trying to grope her until she finally left to get away from him.
The only good thing that happened was that Harry saw Malfoy leave the party with Snape and he followed them. He managed to overhear Malfoy admit he was up to something; but he wouldn't even tell Snape what it was. At least Ron and Hermione would have to believe him about Malfoy.
The next day Harry left with Ron and Ginny to spend Christmas at the Burrow. While there he told what he overheard to James, Mr. Weasley and Lupin but none of them wanted to believe that Snape would betray Dumbledore by helping Malfoy.
As it was getting dark on Christmas Eve, Ginny dressed in her winter coat, boots, and hat approached Harry and said, "Every Christmas Eve around this time I do something you'll probably think is silly. Since I was five I go outside alone for about a half hour and sit in the cold looking up at the stars waiting for Father Christmas. I would be as quiet and still as a mouse so I wouldn't scare him away if he was near."
Harry smiled and said, "I don't think that's silly; I think it's a wonderful custom."
"Then would you like to join me this year?" she asked.
Harry looked at her and said, "You said you go alone; I don't want to interfere with your custom; or maybe scare Father Christmas away."
"To tell the truth," Ginny said blushing "I really haven't been looking for Father Christmas for years. Now as I sit, I think about and give thanks for all the blessings I've received through the year.
Ron said you never had any Christmas traditions; because when you lived with your aunt and uncle you never even got presents. I thought you might like to start a tradition of you own since you'll be seventeen in July and won't have to go back to your relatives.
Maybe you can think of some things to be thankful for; or maybe just find a half hour of peace of mind."
"Ron wasn't quite right," Harry said "I did get presents from Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; one year they gave me a pair of Uncle Vernon's used socks, and one year two tissues."
"Oh Harry," Ginny said with a quiver in her voice "how awful; that's worse than getting nothing at all. I'm so sorry I brought up the subject."
"I'm not sorry," Harry said as he took her hand "it doesn't bother me anymore because now I do have a family that cares about me; you and your family.
Now let me get my coat so I can get started on my first Christmas tradition."
They held hands as they walked away from the house; Ginny talked and Harry listened. "Once we get to my special spot no more talking until on the way back. I sit against a tree where I can look at the North Star; I thought Father Christmas would come from that direction."
She pointed adding, "Remember from astronomy class, there's Ursa Major and the pointers lead your eyes to Ursa Minor and the North Star. Now we're almost there so no more talking."
At a large oak tree she sat down and pulled Harry by the hand to sit next to her. They got their backs against the trunk and Ginny tilted her head looking up; Harry followed her gaze and marveled at how bright the stars appeared in the cold crisp air.
Harry began to think, "What have I received this past year to be grateful for."
The first and best thing that came to his mind was that Ginny had asked him to be there with her, she was sitting next to him, and the Weasleys had asked him to be with them for Christmas. Then there were his friends; Ron, Hermione, Luna, Neville, Shamus, and yes even Dean.
He realized that James, who he almost stopped speaking to at one point, was also a gift; and Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall; Lupin, Tonks, Mad-eye, and the other members of the order.
As he thought all this he let go of Ginny's hand and put his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer like when they had sat on the divan in the sitting room last summer.
Back in the Burrow Ron had been looking for Harry and after not finding him asked his mother, "Have you seen Harry; he's not in our bedroom, or the kitchen, or the sitting room."
"I think he's outside being thankful for all his gifts." Mrs. Weasley said.
"But we didn't get our presents yet," Ron said "it's only Christmas Eve and we don't open presents until tomorrow morning."
"Yes dear," Mrs. Weasley answered "but I think he's being grateful for the presents he got in the past."
"You mean like Ginny does;" Ron said "sitting in the cold like a nutter."
Ron looked at the clock and realized what time it was. He said, "Harry's out with Ginny isn't he?
"Ron," Mrs. Weasley said "you're the one who told us how badly Harry has always been treated at Christmas. Ginny asked me if I thought now that Harry is part of our family and has been getting presents from us the past few years; isn't it time he learns that Christmas is also a time to be grateful for all the good things we've received all year. I told her that was a wonderful idea so she asked him to go with her."
"Yeah," Ron said "I see what you mean; but she never let anyone go with her since she was five, not even you. She says this is her special alone time."
"Ron," Mrs. Weasley said "haven't you noticed that Ginny fancies Harry. When a girl fancies a boy she will do things for him that she wouldn't do even for her family."
"Hermione and Luna both said the same thing." Ron said. "And that Harry fancies Ginny. But she's seeing Dean Thomas; so how does Ginny get to play around with the hearts of two of my friends at the same time. I thought you would object to something like that."
"I do," Mrs. Weasley said "and I've talked with Ginny. She's confused and doesn't know what she should do. Even though everyone keeps telling her that Harry fancies her, he's never told her that, so she's unsure; but I get the feeling that soon Dean Thomas is going to very unhappy.
Now, they'll be back soon so don't you say anything to either of them about this; and should you see them kiss at some point, don't you dare say anything about that either. You're Ginny's brother; but she's fifteen now and you can't tell her what to do like when she was a little girl."
Outside Ginny stood up and pulled Harry's hand so he got up to. As they walked hand in hand back toward the house she asked, "Well, did you find something to be thankful for?"
""Yes," Harry answered her. "Here's my chance to tell her how I feel about her." he thought. He started, "I'm most grateful for..."
"Don't tell me." Ginny said putting her finger on Harry's lips "It's part of my tradition; what I'm grateful for is a secret kept in my heart."
The next morning Harry got a number of presents, the worst of which was a package of maggots with a tag that read "To Master from Kreacher", and the nicest, in Harry's opinion at least, a scarf hand knitted by Ginny in Gryffindor colors. The scarf was not the most neatly knitted one Harry had ever had because Ginny was just beginning to learn how to knit; but Harry prized it more than anything else he received. He wore it for hours even in the house until Ginny asked him if it wasn't making him to hot since his face was always red when she saw him.
After consulting Hermione some months ago about what Ginny might like, Harry gave Ginny a complete set of the seven books by her favorite author. A gift of witch romance stories seemed odd to Harry but Hermione assured him that Ginny would love them and the long hug Ginny gave him when she opened her present confirmed it.
"Oh Harry," she said "this is the best present I ever got; but it's so expensive, you shouldn't have."
The books were not really that much money considering what Harry had inherited from his parents and Sirius' estate; but Ginny thought of a few Galleons as a fortune because the Weasleys never had much money and almost always gave homemade presents.
Then the unexpected happened at Christmas dinner; Percy showed up with the Minister of Magic. Harry knew that the minister had been trying to talk with him for six months but Dumbledore wouldn't allow it. Now Harry found out what the minister wanted. Things were going badly and the minister wanted Harry to come to the ministry occasionally to make people think things were better and there was hope of defeating Voldemort.
Harry told the minister he didn't like the way the ministry was arresting innocent people and wouldn't help lie about the situation.
When Ginny found out that Percy didn't really want to visit, but only came so the minister could see Harry; she used wand less magic to hit him in the face with a bowl of mashed parsnips. It was reminiscent of how she and Hermione splattered the Slytherins with food two years ago when they were teasing Harry about the third task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Both George and Fred tried to claim credit but Harry knew it was Ginny's doing.
Christmas break passed and soon, for reasons of safety, Harry, Ron, and Ginny were lined up at the Weasley fireplace to return to Hogwarts by the flue network.
As soon as they arrived at Hogwarts Ginny left Ron and Harry to go see Dean. "How were your holidays?" she asked.
"The usual;" Dean answered "my mom and I spent time together. You know I don't have any other relatives; but we had a nice Christmas together. I liked the scarf you knitted for me.
How was Christmas at your house?"
"Also as usual;" she answered "until the Minister of Magic showed up with my brother Percy."
She related the story and when she was finished Dean said, "Harry spent Christmas with you?"
"Well not with just me;" she said slightly annoyed. "You know Harry has no place else to go. His aunt and uncle don't want him at their house so my family invited him to have Christmas with us again this year."
"Again!" Dean said loudly. "You mean he's been to your house for Christmas before?"
"Yes," Ginny said, now more annoyed "you knew about it last Christmas. Harry had that vision of my father being attacked. You were in the dorm with him that night. He came home with me and my brothers to see my father and he and Hermione stayed all Christmas break."
"He spends the summer with you too; doesn't he? In fact you've been spending a lot of time with Harry." Dean said "You're always talking with him and rubbing his neck and back in the common room. Everyone's noticed it. If you're going to rub somebody's neck it should be mine; you're supposed to fancy me not him."
"I do." Ginny said loudly, getting more irritated by the second. "But Harry's a friend; and you know what kind of pressure he's under. Helping him calm down and soothing his mind has nothing to do with our relationship any more than what we do when we're together has to do with him.
Just because you and I are a couple it doesn't mean I can't have other boys as friends. Neville and Colin are my friends too; are you going to complain about me talking with them too?
"They don't sleep with you at your house for weeks at a time." Dean yelled.
"Harry doesn't sleep with me either." Ginny yelled back. "He shares a room with Ron just like here in the dorms. I don't like what you're suggesting and you better not let Ron hear you say it or you'll be in the hospital wing for a week.
In fact if you ever say it again I might just put you in the hospital myself."
Her face was now as red as her hair, and as she stood up Dean began to float up toward the ceiling of the common room; but his face was turning blue.
Everyone in the common room was too stunned to say a word; but just then Hermione came through from the hall and saw what was happening. She grabbed Ginny by the arm and said, "Ginny, stop it right now. Let him go before you hurt him."
Ginny looked at Hermione and took a deep breath. Dean also started breathing as he slowly came down back on the divan where he had been sitting. Ginny shook free from Hermione and turned; as she walked away she looked back at Dean and said, "I don't think I better talk with you any more for now."
Next morning Hermione told Ron and Harry that Ginny and Dean had a row; but not what Dean had said about Harry sleeping with Ginny. She knew if either of them found out what Dean implied there would be more trouble. Harry's spirits lifted; for seven months, since Ginny first told him she was seeing Dean, he had been wishing they would break up. Perhaps this was his chance to tell her how he felt.
When they got to breakfast however they found Dean and Ginny sitting together. Dean had apologized for what he said and Ginny, feeling guilty about losing her temper, agreed she too had acted badly. They had already made up before Harry had a chance to tell Ginny how he felt.
The first day back after Christmas, students seventeen or about to turn seventeen, discovered a sign had been posted for apparition lessons. Hermione, Ron, and Harry immediately signed up.
At Harry's first meeting after Christmas with Dumbledore he finally discovered what the memories were all about. There was a memory from Professor Slughorn that had been altered in which Harry learned the objects they had been looking for all summer are called Horcruxes.
Dumbledore said he needed Harry to persuade Slughorn to revel the true memory before they could be sure how many Horcruxes Voldemort had made. All would have to be found and destroyed.
Ron suggested that Harry just ask Slughorn since Slughorn loved Harry as the best students in the potions class. Hermione insisted that wouldn't work because if Slughorn altered the memory in the first place he wouldn't easily reveal the true one.
Harry went with Ron's suggestion since it involved no work; but as usual Hermione was right. Slughorn not only wouldn't tell Harry the true memory he became angry and began to avoid Harry. Taking Ron's advice made matters worse.
Hermione tried to look up information about Horcruxes but there was next to nothing in the school library.
January's lesson from James came but the number of students was down to about seventy-five. Rumor was parents had warned their children not to show up because nobody was sure which side was going to prevail in the freshly heated up war. If Dumbledore's side won extra lessons in DADA would not be needed; and if "You Know Who" was victorious he might look on anyone who took James' classes as enemies.
Apparation lessons went badly with nobody being able to move an inch during the first few lessons. At one lesson Harry did overhear Malfoy tell Crabb and Goyle whatever he was doing wasn't going well; but he wouldn't tell them what he was doing either. Apparently nobody knew what Malfoy was up to but Draco himself.
If he couldn't learn what Malfoy was up to; Harry thought, maybe I can learn where he is doing it. Whenever he had a free minute, Harry began getting out the Marauders Map and watching where Draco went; but nothing new became apparent.
January turned to February and this time for James' class only about fifty students showed up, everyone was getting more scared by the minute. James once again took Harry aside and asked about Ginny. "Look Harry, he said "you've made almost no progress in learning magic without wands or opening alternate dimensions. Voldemort is gaining strength every day and unless something good happens you may need to defend yourself against him again soon.
A good woman can give a man the extra strength he needs to face anything; not to mention that Ginny is powerful in her own right and you can use her help. You have to get your mind on your lessons now; so if you don't talk to Ginny by the March lesson I'll have to force you two talk. I'd rather not; but you don't seem to be able to find the courage to face her.
"Dean and Ginny had a couple of rows in the past month;" Harry said "and I have been putting off talking to her in the hope they will just break up and I won't have to. So far however they have made up each time.
Besides, it's not just Ginny," Harry said "you must know Malfoy is up to something and I can't convince Dumbledore to do something about him. I'm spending a lot of my time watching him instead of practicing; trying to figure out what he's doing.
And Snape has taken the Unbreakable Vow to help Malfoy and Dumbledore won't listen to me about that either. He still trusts Snape and won't believe me that Snape's a traitor."
"Harry," James said "just because you don't see Dumbledore following Malfoy around; that doesn't mean he isn't doing everything possible to discover and prevent whatever Malfoy is trying to do. And you don't know all the facts about Snape either; Dumbledore is sure, and so am I; that Snape is on our side. So stop worrying about things you can't do anything about and start doing the things that you can to help the cause. Talk to Ginny soon, whether she breaks up with Dean or not; and show me some improvement in your skills by March."