"What the hell?! Lucy – what happened?" Levy exclaimed as Natsu delivered Lucy to the door. She grabbed Lucy's arm, pulling her into the apartment, leaving Natsu gaping at the door as she slammed it in his face.
Levy was still mad about last night, he realized.
Natsu went into his own apartment, deep in thought. For a mostly uneventful day at work, poor Lucy sure had a rough one towards the end. Guilt plagued him as he sat on the couch, head between his hands. The emotions inside of him swirled around. Natsu didn't know what to do to make them quiet again. He felt like he was going crazy.
Natsu didn't hear Gray come in the door, chattering excitedly about his discovery that day about Levy. He didn't hear him crack open a beer and he didn't notice him sit down on the couch beside him.
"YO! FLAME BRAIN!" Gray yelled, "WAKE THE HELL UP!"
Natsu looked up, the guilt, pain, and other emotional turmoil written into his eyes. Gray watched him for a minute, putting his beer down on the coffee table as Happy mewed to be picked up.
"What happened?" Gray asked, almost gently.
Natsu picked Happy up, holding the sweet little thing close to him. He supposed it was odd, finding comfort from a kitten who was barely old enough to eat on its own, but Happy did exactly that. Natsu felt a warmth spread through him as he forced himself to calm down.
"Natsu?" Gray repeated, a gentle hand making its way to Natsu's shoulder, "What happened?"
Natsu was sure Gray was going to have a hay-day with this one. Bracing himself for the onslaught of laughter and horrible name-calling, or possibly extreme anger, he slowly repeated the day's events to him, leaving out the moments on the bench where he was hugged by Lucy, but including the conversation about Lucy's father.
"It's my fault," he finished quietly, "Because of me, Lucy got hurt."
Gray was quiet, contemplating everything he'd just heard.
"It sounds to me like you did a good job for the most part," Gray said finally, "It wasn't your fault, Natsu. You were trying to prevent anyone from getting hurt. Your mistake was getting in the middle – which we're not allowed to do as Angels – instead of standing in front of Lucy to protect her. She got caught in the cross-fire, Natsu. But it was an accident. Plus, you found out some really important information about her past that could help us find a way to ultimately change Lucy's life for the better: She craves to belong."
Natsu glanced at him, wondering when the reprimanding would start. Or name calling. Or laughter. But Gray's eyes were sincere as he spoke.
Gray took the kitten from Natsu, bringing him to the kitchen with him as he prepared soft food. Once the plate was safely on the coffee table, Gray placed the kitten next to it, giving Happy a little rub before allowing him to eat.
Gray sighed deeply, his own emotions toying with him. He could see the anxiety Natsu still felt. Maybe if he knew the whole story, it would ease his guilt.
"I died 5 years ago," he said, catching Natsu's attention, "I lived here in this town...with Juvia."
Natsu's eyes grew wide. Gray wouldn't look at him. If he did, he couldn't tell the rest of his story. Gray was not an emotional person/Angel. He preferred to keep past life to himself.
"Juvia was my girlfriend of 2 years," Gray continued, "We'd been friends since childhood. Well, kind of. She followed me around everywhere I went. I pretty much ignored her. I never really even noticed her in those younger years. But when we were 16, Juvia and I started to date. I had just left home," he scoffed, "Okay, more like I ran away from home. Juvia was following me and realized I didn't have a place to go. She offered to let me stay with her. So I did. After that, we were inseparable."
Gray got up and stepped out onto the balcony, pulling a cigarette from his pocket. He glanced back at Natsu, shaking a finger at him, "Don't you dare tell Mira I'm doing this! This is not an easy story to tell. I need a little…help."
Natsu nodded, wanting to hear the rest of the story. He'd seen people around town smoking cigarettes, but he had no idea Gray smoked them. He also wasn't sure why cigarettes would help Gray tell the story. But he shut up. He wanted to hear this.
Gray lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply. He was quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts.
"Juvia and I became inseparable," he continued, "And I admit, I fell head over heels in love with her. She was my everything. Juvia used to talk about getting her own restaurant one day. I was going to be her manager and run the front; she was going to be the chef in the kitchen. She's an amazing cook, as you've noticed," he chuckled to himself, "She did it. She made her dream come true and has her own place."
Natsu watched as Gray paused to take another puff of his smoke.
"On my 18th birthday, my brother, Lyon, spotted us as we were sitting at a diner. Lyon and I didn't really get along, but since I'd left home, he was desperate to know how I was doing and if I was okay. I made him promise not to tell our parents where we were. Lyon hung out with us a lot after that. We got really…close. For the first time in my life, I felt like someone in my family actually cared about me. He came over to our apartment a lot. He had dinner with us almost every night. I was working as an apprentice welder at the time. My boss said I had enormous talent for sculpting. One day, he told me he was going to put me into college to get my welding certificate. It was the best news of my life. I couldn't wait to tell Juvia."
Natsu watched Gray's face. Lyon is Gray's brother...
His eyes closed in memory, his face contorting in pain.
"At first, I didn't know what was going on. I thought she was putting laundry away or something since she wasn't at the door to greet me. I looked for her. I even called her name. But when I came to the bedroom, she was in bed with Lyon."
He finished his cigarette, immediately reaching for another. Natsu stayed absolutely still. He didn't understand some of the story…like why it would be so bad to be sleeping in the same bed as someone? What's an apprentice welder? But the pain on Gray's face told him to stay quiet. This was the first time Gray had ever said anything about his personal life to Natsu. It was a step toward becoming friends…and Natsu was not about to mess it up.
"I flipped out," Gray continued, "I tore Lyon out of bed and pretty much threw him out the door. But Lyon fought back. He said I was selfish. He said I wasn't all that nice to Juvia, especially in the beginning, and she needed a real man to be with. We tousled on the street for probably a good 15 minutes before he pushed me a little too hard. I landed in the street. And that's when the delivery truck struck me."
Natsu gasped despite himself.
"So you see, Natsu, it's not all your fault. Not this time. Lyon was at the restaurant to talk to Juvia because of what happened 5 years ago. I don't know what's happened between them since. Personally, I don't actually care. The point is you tried to stop something bad from happening. I can't fault you for that because I probably would have let Loke pound the hell outta Lyon," he smirked, "Honestly, I'd probably have helped him."
Natsu had no clue what to say for the umpteenth time that day. Emotion was a powerful thing. Even the ice-cold Gray Fullbuster felt things.
"After that, I've learned to keep people at a distance so that they can't get close to me. It's not easy to get through my barriers...and sometimes I can be mean as a result. The pain of what happened to me has made me who I am today. I lost the person I was before that," He pointed at Natsu, "You. Don't lose who you are, Natsu...you're kind-hearted. You feel the need to protect everyone and everything. You see the world in a light that very few people have the ability to see it in. That's why Lucy can open up to you. And that is what's going to save her."
The two men exchanged glances, watching each for a long moment. Natsu was regarding Gray in a new light...one that saw the person who had gone through so much. Gray had been so hurt. No wonder he built his icy exterior.
Gray snapped out of his reverie, shaking a finger in Natsu's face, "That story does not get repeated to anyone, got it? In fact, forget that I even told you! WE do not discuss it again. Do I make myself clear?"
Natsu nodded, still completely unable to respond.
"Good," Gray crushed his cigarette and plopped down on the couch beside Natsu, "Wanna play some Smash?"
In answer, Natsu disappeared to the kitchen for a moment, grabbing them both a beer, then tossed Gray a controller. His questions would wait for another day. Right now, something was telling him that what Gray needed was to let go. And even if Gray didn't say it, he needed Natsu to help him forget for awhile. And nothing relaxed him like a good Smash Bros pounding.
Later that night, Natsu had fallen asleep on the couch. Gray had covered him with a blanket and found himself back at Juvia's to watch her sleep.