"Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spend me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved"

-Dance with my Father Again, Luther Van Dross

It took me all of three minutes for my anger at Seth to disappear, and the anger at myself to reappear. I was naked standing in the middle of the woods again! It's a good thing I actually listened to myself after that stupid encounter with Sam about leaving clothes out in the woods.

As soon as I found my canvas bag stash, I knew I couldn't stay out in the woods for long. No doubt Seth ran home to tell my mother what happened, maybe Charlie even told her. Fucking Wusses.

As soon as I walked through the door I knew I was in trouble. Actually when I opened the door I knew I was in deep shit. My mother screamed for me before I even had the chance to sneak into my room, stupid bolted window screen, I'm going to rip it to shreds when my mother gets done yelling at me.

"Hi mom. What's going on?" I said innocently taking a seat on the couch, while she glared daggers at me.

My mother for all intense purpose is not a big woman. She is at most 5'6 with a small figure. Many describe her as kind, courageous, good-natured woman. But all I saw looking at me was the wrath of a pissed off mom. I guess I shouldn't have semi-bitched out her boyfriend.

"Don't play innocent with me Leah Clearwater!" She huffed. Pissed off mom is never a good sign. If people thought I was a bitch, I've got nothing on the wrath of Sue Clearwater, when she's pissed she makes me look like a kitten…I guess this is why no one ever disagreed with her.

"Mom I-" I said trying to explain myself.

"No. Leah! How could you? To Charlie of all people?" She said raising her voice.

"He has been nothing but kind to us since…" Her voice trailed off at the prospect of mention my father.

"Say it mom." I snapped.

"Since Dad died. You remember him right? My FATHER!" I screamed. I don't know what got into me, but once I started I couldn't stop. Talk about pent up aggression.

"THE MAN YOU WERE MARRIED TO! THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN! OR IS CHARLIE SWAN THE ONLY THING YOU CAN THINK OF?" I sneered.

"WELL HERE'S SOMETHING THAT MIGHT JOG YOUR MEMORY HE WAS THE BEST FRIEND OF THE MAN YOU WERE PLAYING TONSEL HOCKEY WITH LAST NIGHT!"I yelled at her at the top of my lungs.

My mother was shocked, it took her a moment to regain her composer, "Don't you dare talk to me like that." My mother hiss through gritted teeth.

I couldn't help it. I never talked back to my mother. I knew better. But I didn't care, at the moment she wasn't my mother, she was Sue, the woman who was moving on and leaving my father behind.

"Your father meant everything to me." She said vexed. "Don't you dare think that I've forgotten about him."

"Isn't that what you've done though, you've found someone else, you've fallen in love with someone else, and you're leaving the person who loved you most behind."

"Leah-" She said with a look I knew all to well. Pity. Fucking Hell! My mother will not pity me.

"No forget it." I snapped. "I'm going to my room, I'm not having this discussion with you. Do whatever you want. You're an adult you make your own choices."

"I'm not fin-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed walking away.

"Lea-" She started, but it was no use I was already gone.

***

"She's been so angry lately" I heard my mother whisper.

"Yeah, I just don't know what to do."

I couldn't hear the person she was talking to so I figured she must be on the phone.

"I just want her to be happy."

"I've never seen her act this way before."

"Alright, thanks I have to go Seth just walked through the door."

"Hey Mom!" I heard Seth greet our mother.

"Hey honey, how was your day?" I could hear the tightness in her words. It sickened me a bit to know that I was the reason for that.

"It was okay…after words…umm, is Leah home?"

"She's in her room."

"I'm just gonna..."

"Alright go ahead, I'm just going to step out for a bit, there's a tuna melt in the fridge if you get hungry."

I heard Seth shuffle out of the kitchen and walk up to my door.

"Don't even think about talking to me right now you traitor" I hissed.

"Leah...you know-"

"Get away from my door Seth, before I become an only child!"

"Leah." He said sighing, and opening my door and taking a seat on my chair.

Stupid little shit you really must have a death wish, I am going to kill you for coming in here.

"Leah," He said again.

I ignored him and laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Come on Leah, don't be like this." He moaned.

I let silence greet him. My fists were shaking, and my knuckles were turning white, but I refused to even acknowledge him.

"It wasn't my fault, you were going to hurt Charlie, I had to tell Jake, you were about to phase-"

That's when I turned my head and glared at him. I was not going to hurt Charlie twerp!

I sat up and let out a snarl, my patience was warring thin, and I didn't care anymore.

"YOU THINK THIS IS EASY FOR ME?" I screamed. "YOU THINK I LIKE THE FACT THAT I COULD HAVE RIPPED CHARLIE'S FACE OFF? I DON'T, BUT GUESS WHAT?! I DIDN'T. I LEFT BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HIM. SO DON'T FUCKING LECTURE ME ABOUT CHARLIE SWAN."

"Leah…"

"You're supposed to be my brother. You're supposed to take my side, have my back. You're supposed to be pissed at everyone else. Your name is Seth CLEARWATER, not Seth Swan."I said acidly.

"You want mom to be happy?" I continued, "Well guess what? I DO TOO! But I WILL NOT have Charlie Swan coming up to me hoping that I understand that he loves mom when dad's only been gone for a couple years!"

"Leah…I…you think…I..no…he…you…mom...I'm really sorry Leah."Seth stammered.

"Get out Seth, before I say something you don't want to hear."

Seth looked at me like he wanted to disagree, but the look on my face must have told him I really wanted him out. He looked at me for a second debating internally if he should say something, then he asked,

"Are you still coming tonight?" He asked softly before he completely walked out of my room.

"Yes." I mumbled.

Of course I was coming tonight. Why would I miss another party where Sam and Emily get to celebrate their love for one another to the world yet again? I'll sit there like the good wolf in a room full of my closest family and friends who I can't stand, oh yes, that's my idea of a good time why the hell wouldn't I go?

***

Take that Mom!

Take that Seth!

Take that Embry!

Take that Charlie!

Take that Jacob!

"Taking some aggression out are we?" Jacob said walking up behind me grinning from ear to ear in his normal cut offs.

"Go away fucktard." I hissed.

"Still mad I see." He laughed walking towards a chair.

I didn't reply. The only response I gave him was the bird and I continued to throw darts at my board.

Aim for Jacob.

Hit.

Hit.

Hit.

"It's safe to say that you're pissed at me…" Jacob mumbled staring at me from the lawn chair.

No shit Sherlock, has your stupid precious half breed been giving you speech lessons?

"So..how pissed are you?" He asked.

Silence.

"Really pissed?"

"I hope the stupid lawn chair breaks on you jackass." I growled.

"Yup, really pissed."

Hit.

"Listen about earlier…"

Hit.

"Go to hell Jacob!"

He ignored me and continued to speak, "I may have over reacted…"

Hit.

"That's an understatement…"I mumbled.

"I probably should have listened to you…"

Hit.

"It's just Seth ran into my house, and said…"he rubbed his head unsure of himself.

Hit.

"WIL YOU STOP THROWING THOSE STUPID DARTS AND LISTEN TO ME!" Jacob yelled.

Hit.

"LEAH!" He yelled.

And without missing a beat I turned and looked at him with the last dart in my hand and threw it at his face.

I doubt I surprised him, but he let the dart hit his face right in the middle of his eyebrows, I'm sure that if they had been suction darts, they would have stuck to his forehead.

"Does that make you feel better?" He grinned picking up the dart and handing it to me.

I snapped it out of his hand and glared at him. Fucking Jackass.

"Go Away Jacob!" I screeched.

"No!" He yelled back.

I glared even harder. Come on Leah bitch face on, great now I'm talking in the third person, I thought to myself.

"I'm trying here Leah!" He whined.

Apparently Jacob Black is immune to the glare. What an annoying little shit. And I was supposed to be more annoying than Paul? Bull fucking shit.

"After you left-"

Holy shit! Was he still talking?! I bet he was the little kid in the back of the car whining 'Are we there yet?!' No wonder Rachel and Rebecca tried to exchange him for Seth, at least Seth isn't this annoying.

"Well Embry kinda bitched me out…"

"Bitched you out?" I laughed, what a fucking girl. Come to tell on your girlfriend now?

"Well I'd say he pulled a Leah, but you'd probably throw another dart at me." He laughed.

Not funny asswipe. I glared at him again.

"Kidding, Kidding." he said throwing his hands up in defense.

"Jerk." I muttered.

"I'm sorry Leah…I overreacted…Embry showed me what happened…I was an ass…"

Hell yeah you were jerk off.

"Forgive me?" He asked sheepishly.

I frowned.

"HELL FUCKING NO YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled, the familiar tremors starting again. No I was not going to lost control. I'm so fucking sick of you fucktards pissing me off. I'm sick of accidentally phasing. I'm not going to. Breathe Leah, I told myself.

"You think you can come here with your stupid jokes, and stupid apologies and think I'll forgive you?" I shrieked.

He opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off.

"That was a rhetorical question, dumbass! Now go away!!"

"Leah…I-"

"What part of go away don't you understand?"

"I'm not going…"

"You know what fine, you stay, I'll leave. I've got fan-frickin-tastic date to get ready for any ways." I said walking past Jacob.

I wasn't expecting him to grab me.

"What the fuck, I didn't give you permission to manhandle me asshole."

"You've got a date?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah I've got a date, you fucking imbecile. You think I'm going to show up to Sam and Emily's love fest solo?"

"I didn't know you were dating again." He admitted, still holding on to my wrist.

"Yeah well I didn't know you were such a dick, I guess were both surprised today." I said struggling against his hand. I'd glare at him again, but that doesn't work.

"Why do you keep doing this?" He asked finally letting go of me.

"Stop pushing me away Leah I'm not Sam!" He yelled.

Sam? What the hell does Sam have to do with this?! My face must have betrayed me because Jacob regained himself.

"Remember when you came up to the Cullen's and apologized to me?" He quickly changed the subject.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?!"

"I'm apologizing!"

"You're a fucking idiot." I hissed walking towards my house.

"I know that it's your dad's birthday," Jacob said so quietly that if it wasn't for my enhanced hearring I would have missed it.

That stopped me in my tracks. No one even acknowledged that it was his birthday.

"The day he died is coming up again." He said softly coming up behind me placing a hand on my shoulder. His hand was warm against my shoulder.

"I have no idea what you must be going through…but stop punishing your self…it's not your fault."

"Don't try to analyze me!" I hissed struggling out of his grasp. I found myself cold again, the wind must have picked up I thought.

"So what if I miss my father? I have every right to! Especially because I killed him!" I yelled. I didn't mean for the last part to come out but it did, and I couldn't take it back. I've dealt with the fact that my transformation helped my father's faulty heart flat line, but I've never admitted it out loud before.

I stood their staring at Jacob in shock. Had I really just admitted to killing my father?

"Leah…" Jacob said reaching for me again.

"Don't." I flinched away from him.

I sank to the ground, and stared at the grass outside of my house I could feel the tears starting up and I'll be damned if I let Jacob Black see me cry. I can feel the rain coming down, but it doesn't faze me, the sky won't open up and pour, a few drizzles and an over cast is what will happen.

Jacob comes and sits next to me, patting my back in a way I know he thinks is comforting, a part of me wants to punch him and call him a girl, but I'm just to tired. But I will not break down. I will not be weak.

I can just imagine what some one would think if they walked past us right now. The children of two of the Elders sitting in the rain in the middle Clearwater's yard.

"Come on Leah, let's get you inside." Jacob said trying to get me up.

"Charlie is in love with my mother." I whispered walking to the porch and sitting on the steps so I could still feel the rain.

I may not have heard him say those exact words, but I saw it in his face, indescribable happiness, with just a twinge of guilt.

Jacob only nodded. He took a seat next to me. We were both sitting in the rain, at least it wasn't pouring.

"I'm the worst sister, I treat Seth like absolute crap, and he just sits there and takes it." I said sighing.

"He loves you no matter what...At least you've never tried to sell him" Jacob said laughing, remembering the way his sisters treated him.

I laughed at the thought.

"I don't remember what he smells like. I've tried for weeks to find his cologne, or even an old shirt, and I just can't remember…it just doesn't fit."

"Just don't forget him, be thankful that you have memories of the two of you together…"

"She won't admit it, but she's in love with Charlie…" I said bitterly laughing. "I can see it, she say's I'm out of my mind, but I see it."

"Leah," Jacob sighed "Will you please, tell me why you've been so angry lately? I know it's just not about your mom and Charlie.... The guys…they've been worried."

"I'm fine."

"I've been worried, we thought you were going to run off again." He admitted.

"You know why I left." I snapped.

"I know, just next time-"

"I'll let you know if there will be a next time." I said getting up.

"Leah…" Jacob said my name standing up.

"I'm not going to leave again. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but I'm dealing with shit, and this is how I do it."

"I know, just let someone in, you stubborn ass." He mumbled.

"I heard you, assface."

"You were supposed to," He said grinning.

"You're not going to tell me why you've been angry are you?" He questioned.

"I'm a naturally angry person Jacob." I said nonchalantly.

"Not this angry." He huffed.

"Just drop it okay?"

I begged internally that he would just drop it, and for some reason he did. The serious moment was over, and I didn't completely break down. I looked up at the sky, the rain had stopped coming down, but it didn't look like that was going to last for long.

"Come with me Leah," Jacob said holding out his hand to me.

"Where?"

"Where do you think?" He asked me.

"Come on, afraid you're going to be late for you date?" He teased.

"Or maybe you're afraid of me? You afraid of the big bad alpha wolf?" He laughed.

"I'll let you know when I find one." I laughed back at him.

"Where are we going Jake?" I questioned him.

"To confront our parents of course."

xxx

~TBC

A/N: [Long] Good News, you all got an update quicker than usual, and it's a nice length if I do say so myself…Bad news…I'm going to be swamped for the next couple of weeks, I'm going back to work [YUCK] my brother is graduating from high school, YAY! I'm super excited, because not only is he # 2 in his class, BUT I have family coming down for an entire week! Which will suck for my school work, but I haven't seen them since I graduated high school 3 years ago…so basically I may not update for a week.

So I never ever saw Leah yelling at Sue, but as pissed as she was I think she would've said screw it all to hell and bitched back.

I LOVE bitch Leah, I understand Leah more when she's bitchy, but I think that's she's a much more complex character, IDK if anyone caught the name of the song from Chapter 9? 'The way I am' I think it describes Leah…I don't think that she's always bitchy. I think that she thinks life hates her, and is pushing all the good away. Leah is a nice person…way, way, way underneath, but she is loyal, and she does take things to heart, I hope I've captured that, or at least started to capture it…

Jacob's an interesting character to me (which is funny because I have my Team Jacob Shirt on), he's had to grow up so fast, that even though he's older now he still doesn't know who he is, but he's probably the best friend you could ask for, and as much as he annoys Leah (Because this is from her POV) he just wants the best for her. I think he's the best person who understands her. Seth is her brother, so he's supposed to love her…But this is a chance to FINALLY develop the Jake/Leah relationship…let me know what you think about it.

Anyway enough of my rambling. I hope you all enjoyed this. I will try to get one more chapter up before I go on my mini vacation when my family is here. THANKS so much for reading. And I'm glad you all love it. This story has been getting some great reviews, and a lot of Story Alerts, so to everyone who's reading THANK YOU!