Leather gloves typically aren't my thing, especially since I've never been one to care about making a fashion statement or anything like that. But out here… trying to not get eaten alive (metaphorically this time) by assholes who look down on us like we're nothing… impressions are everything. If I'm going to make it out here, then I need to look as hardened as possible.
Slipping on the right glove, I flex my bare fingers through them before making a fist and making sure that they fit properly. They're brown biker gloves, but they'll do the trick. I've heard that it also makes it a little bit easier on your hands when you're handling bigger weapons, but I'll have to test that out in order to see if the rumours are true.
I sigh heavily as I struggle to put the left glove on with my thumb and index finger both missing. The pain's long since disappeared, but the effects will be with me until the day I die. This was Sandro's work right here, and I'm only a tiny bit satisfied that I managed to exact some revenge on that grade-A asshole before he got shot in the head. The damage to me is permanent, but luckily it's not the dominant hand.
Zipping up my signature jacket, I strap my rifle across my back and wait for Lilly to finish up with whatever she's doing. We haven't been in the tent long, but I already want to move out. The place is cramped and smells like it hasn't been washed in years.
"You about finished yet?" I call out, hearing some ruffling going on as I wait by the flap of the tent. "We can't be late if we want to get on their good side!"
"They don't have a good side! Besides, why should we care?" she answers back, though I still can't see her anywhere. "You know what's gonna end up happening, Jane. No reason to get attached to anyone while we're at it."
"That's not what I… mean…" I cut myself off, finding myself staring wide-eyed in admiration as Lilly shows up in front of me. She's looking sharp with her hair tied back, her usual brown leather jacket dusted off and looking better than ever, and she's got those tight, brown pants on with a grey tank top on underneath the jacket.
Fuuuuuuccccckkkkk…..
"You clean up nicely, don't you?" I joke, smirking and trying my best to hide the fact that I was staring. She doesn't seem really bothered by it, but Lilly still seems kind of curious.
"How is it any different from before?"
"Come on, Lilly, I was giving you a compliment!" I roll my eyes, lightly patting her on the shoulder and turning to leave. Before I can head on out, however, Lilly grabs my shoulder with a slightly worried expression. "Umm… everything alright?"
"I wanted to ask you that, actually. What they made you do in that bar was fucked up," Lilly remarks, adjusting herself as she brushes a strand of hair out of her face. "I won't let that happen again, alright? That's a promise – we'll look out for each other and watch our backs."
"Y-yeah… umm, for sure, Lilly," I stutter, nodding my head as a small but genuine smile appears on my friend's face. When did she become so caring?
Thinking that that'll be the end of it, I'm thoroughly but pleasantly surprised when Lilly hugs me. Lilly fucking Caul is hugging me – what has the world come to?!
Despite usually finding her to be a cold, heartless bitch at times, she in fact is actually pretty warm; with her arms wrapped tightly around the back of my neck, and her hair tickling the side of my face. I cautiously return it by wrapping my scrawny arms around her waist, but the moment is over before it ever really begins.
Lilly, seemingly realizing what she just did, returns to her usual state and nods at me before heading off down the path; leaving me utterly speechless and filled with butterflies in my stomach. It's not until she's fully disappeared that I let out a big breath and try to figure out what this all means.
God, motherfucking, damn it. I think that I've got feelings for Lilly.
How in the ever-loving fuck could this have possibly happened?! I went from hating her guts, to tolerating her presence, to seeing her as an asset, to becoming a friend, and now this?! Did I get dropped on my head and not gotten told about it or something?
I mean… it's Lilly! The brash, angry, cold, regretful, sometimes sweet, kinda hot… SHIT! Oh lord, I find her attractive, too! Along with a bunch of other things, it seems!
This is bad. This is really, really, really, really, really, really, reeeeeeaaaalllllyyyy bad. I can't be attracted to her! We're friends; buddies! Friends don't fall for each other, and they sure as hell don't have romantic feelings towards one another, either!
I mean, that's what we are, right? Friends… But maybe… could we be something more?
God, look at me… talking like I'm straight out of one of those cheesy teen vampire movies. Grow the fuck up, Jane! There's no way that she'd be interested in you, so just drop it! The nicest thing she'd do is gun you down after telling her that shit…
Placing my hands in my pocket, I lower my gaze to the floor and kick over a rock as I walk along the path; ignoring the various village idiots as they go about their business. They mostly ignore me, save for the occasional passing comment about getting to my post or calling me fresh meat. You know, the same shit that they've been spewing out of their foamy mouths ever since we arrived the other day.
But back to the matter at hand – what the hell am I going to do about this? I can't keep shoving these feelings down, since I'm pretty sure that I'll implode if I do. However, saying something about it might be just as bad if not worse! There are so many things that could go wrong… but what about all the things that could go right?
I don't know what to do anymore! This is really tough to wrap my head around!
Deciding that for now it'd be best just to get through the day and think things through, I angrily groan and head up to the roof of the information kiosk – that's where these guys have their watch tower located. Lilly's already there, and my breathing gets a little shaky as I approach. But I put on my best brave face and jokingly wave up to her. No use in getting her all freaked out.
"Started without me, did ya?" I comment, climbing up the ladder as I take a seat on a milk crate. "Doesn't surprise me, really. You always were the one who wanted to be on watch."
"Someone had to," she replies, shrugging her shoulders as she glares at Henry walking down below. He doesn't seem to like either of us very much, but he doesn't need to worry – the feeling's definitely mutual. "That prick's been doing the same lap around here for the past five minutes. He's definitely scouting us, Jane – trying to catch us screwing something up so that he can have an excuse to kill us."
"He wouldn't get close even if that were the case. Remember the no killing policy?" I remind her, though raising an eyebrow as Henry glances up at us for a moment.
Shaking her head, Lilly closes one eye while looking out the scope of her rifle, which gets me more than a little nervous. She wouldn't seriously consider…
"Calm down, spaz, I'm just looking out ahead," she states, causing me to roll my eyes. Only she would be able to get away with that remark. "But that policy is full of shit – everyone knows that these bastards will turn on each other with the first opportunity they get. You watch, once they don't like what they're seeing, they'll light each other up like the fourth of July."
"And that'll be our opening," I conclude, shifting so that I'm a little bit closer to Lilly. Her smell is damn intoxicating… I mean, no! It's nothing, nothing at all. "We've gotta be ready to move when that time comes."
"Exactly."
BAM!
"Whoa! What the fuck are you doing up there?!" Henry demands, his face turning an angry red as he stomps his way over to us. "Are you trying to put everyone on edge?! Quit being such a loose cannon and start acting responsible for a fucking change!"
"I saved your asses from a walker, jackass! It got close to the fence!" Lilly points out, reloading her hunting rifle and standing up. Suddenly, she takes the gun up again, looks through the scope and gasps.
Henry walks off, shaking his head and muttering some colourful language as I try figuring out what the problem is. What's got Lilly so worked up?
"We've got a big group of them," she tells me, placing the gun back down and leaning it against the milk crate. "There's gotta be twenty-five at least out there. This could be our chance!"
"Where are you going?" I question, watching as she expertly slides down the ladder and reaches the bottom. "Lilly, they'll skin us alive if they find out we ditched!"
"That's the point, silly! We're gonna make this place get overrun!"
"You're one crazy lady, you know that?" I sigh, sliding down after her and running over to the main gates. I hope Lilly knows what she's doing.
Little do I know that somebody's been watching our whole exchange with a trained eye nearby.
…
"EVERYONE GRAB A GUN RIGHT NOW!" Derek bellows, watching as some of his people desperately try and hold the gated door back from the walkers. So far, the plan's working out not too terribly. "DO NOT LET THEM IN, YOU HEAR ME?! NOT ONE FUCKING LURKER!"
Lilly's got an arm wrapped around me as I try to poke my head around the corner and see what's happening. We're out of sight, as far as I'm aware, but we've both got our guns out just in case. There's a whole bunch of scenarios that could go sideways.
"That gate's sturdy as hell, but it won't hold at the rate they're going," Lilly points out, getting a devilish smirk that tells me she was up to no good.
"What did you do?"
"I may have accidentally loosened the lock when nobody was looking. Oops," she says cheekily, and I can't help but chuckle softly as she says it. If this plan works, then we'll be set to leave this dreary place for good, and maybe I'll finally manage to convince myself to talk to Lilly about some more… personal issues.
After that, there's nothing else to do except… trying to find Clementine, I guess. I've got no idea where we'd even begin looking, but I'd say our best bet would be somewhere around the house.
I just hope she's alright.
Henry drives up to the gate in one of those trucks we had seen earlier, as he parks the thing close by and climbs into the back to await firing.
"That might be a problem," I point out, hearing Lilly curse under her breath as she notices it too. "I don't suppose you can somehow magically stop him from firing that, can you?"
"Not unless I know the Force," she remarks sarcastically, clearly having watched too many Star Wars movies as a kid. Lilly looks back and forth between Henry and the rest of the camp; holding her rifle up and slowly trying to make a decision. "I've got the shot, Jane… I could end it right here. I'll kill Derek and Henry, and then you and I could make a break for it – "
Widening my eyes, I tap Lilly urgently on the shoulder as I see a mean-looking woman standing right beside us. She looks to be around my age, with short, bouncy hair coming down to her shoulders and brown eyes. She's got a little bit of makeup on, and it sure as hell accentuates the evil smirk she's got on her face. She's wearing a black leather jacket, dark purple skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with flames on them. She almost reminds me of Lilly a little bit, but if her posture is evidence enough, then she clearly isn't on our side.
We're so busted.
"You lot are in quite the pickle, ain't ya?" she states, placing her hands on her hips as she wears an all-too-knowing grin. "I saw y'alls on the balcony, ya know – I know it was you guys who started dis shit. And now you're caught like a rat in a trap."
I'd laugh at how freaking ridiculous she sounds with her thick Boston accent that makes her sound like she's from the 40s, but clearly this woman has the upper hand here.
"What do you want?" I spit, not in the mood for games as Lilly lowers the gun. The walkers at the gate are starting to break through, and Henry's more than ready to start shooting.
"Power, same as anybody," she replies, tilting her head to the side. "But for now, your cooperation'll do. I got nothin' right now, but give it time and I'm sure y'all can make it up to me."
"Give me a reason why I shouldn't shoot you right now?" Lilly growls, turning her gun towards this dangerous-looking girl and aiming it threateningly at her forehead.
"You really want the whole fucking camp on your arse? Can't say that's a smart move, but then again, you twats don't look as though you got a whole lot going on upstairs anyhow," she taunts, resorting me to place a hand on Lilly's arm in order to get her to calm down. "That's a good girl. Now, are you two willin' to play ball with your new pal, Lorna?"
Before I can answer, the three of us turn around to the sound of a walker breaking through the wood in the fence; watching as it claws at a terrified young man. The boy's shoulder is torn open as the gate collapses on top of him – allowing all of the walkers to start pouring in like a flooded dam.
"OPEN FIRE!" Derek commands, pointing towards Henry as he unleashes a gunfire assault on everything in his way, be it man or monster. The unfortunate survivors who were standing at the gate are slaughtered in a volley of lead, as Henry mercilessly mows them down in order to get at the walkers behind them.
The bullets rip through skin, bone and muscle as blood splatters onto the ground and in the air. This looks like some kind of warzone that we're right in the middle of, but unfortunately (for Lilly and I) it's over before it ever really begins. The walkers are dead, and those that are starting to reanimate are put down by the remaining group. Steam pours out of the mounted turret as Henry steps off the truck; looking as furious as always.
But what really surprises me is how angry Derek looks. Usually he's so calm and collected, so to see him like this must mean that it's pretty bad.
"How the fuck did this happen?!" he questions, kicking over a detached head like a soccer ball as it goes flying past some of the survivors. Trying desperately to cool himself down a little bit, Derek takes a few deep breaths and rubs his hands through his hair. "Alright… would anyone like to tell me who's responsible for this tragedy? Would anyone like to step forward? You won't be killed… trust me, I'm a man of my word."
I wearily eye Lorna, who's probably got half a mind to snitch us out and feed us to the dogs if it suits her. I can tell that this girl is the type who doesn't play by the rules – she'll say and do anything to get what she wants.
With a knowing look, Lorna simply walks towards the little circle they've gathered here and watches the exchange. Silently, Lilly and I both agree that it's probably for the best if we come over as well. It'd look mighty suspicious if we were to just disappear altogether.
Thinking nothing of our arrival, Derek simply turns in a circle, looking for anyone who may confess to knowing something about this. Instinctively, I clutch tightly onto Lilly's hand without even thinking about what it is that I'm doing.
But oh my god! This is UNREAL! I'm holding Lilly's hand!
Henry immediately looks over at us, scrutinizes us for a few seconds before pointing his fat finger like the little bitch he is.
"They were on watch! It's their fault!" he accuses, causing me to glare at him (but not as dark as Lilly).
"Get real, shit for brains! Lilly shot one of the walkers, and you saw her do it!"
"All I saw was a couple dozen of the dead ones kill our men," he shakes his head, making my trigger finger itching to shoot this guy right in the balls – I'd have no problem doing a Troy Round Two. "And I know for a fact that you fuckers were supposed to be on watch! What happened? Did you have to go take a piss or something?!"
"Aww, is the big baby getting upset?" I mock, sporting a fake pout that causes Lilly to quietly snort. "You were scouting us out anyways, asshole! Maybe instead of accusing us of letting them in, you should be getting to work and not skulking around like a pervert! I've seen the way you look at women around here!"
Henry's fists clench up and he takes two pissed off steps forward, but Derek blocks him from advancing any further. Who would've thought that he'd be on our side?
"That's enough, Henry. No need to embarrass yourself anymore," he comments, sending Henry away as the big guy punches a wooden support beam in frustration. What an idiot. "Now then, can anyone else confirm this? Are Lilly and Jane not at fault for these killings?"
Lilly and I wait with baited breath as we desperately look around for somebody to back us up. Our hopes are extremely limited, and the odds are really stacked against us this time, since we don't have any real friends here besides ourselves. Despite the folks being slightly impressed at how I handled myself with Russian Roulette the other day, none of them are willing to speak on our behalf.
"It wasn't them."
All eyes (including our own) turn towards the very same woman who was holding a ransom over our heads, and I can't figure out why she of all people would be coming to our rescue. It makes no sense to me.
"And what might your name be, sweetheart? I don't think that I've seen you around here before," Derek acknowledges, cocking an eyebrow at the supposed newcomer. Did she slip into the camp unannounced or something?
"Lorna Faustini."
"…hmm, so you say," he murmurs, scratching his chin before nodding his head. "Well, alright then. Lilly, Jane – you're off the hook. I'm putting my trust in you this time, got it? Don't make me regret doing so."
When neither of us answer him, Derek simply walks away without another word; leaving the rest to dispose of the bodies outside as Lilly and I cautiously approach Lorna.
"What's your game here?" I ask suspiciously, demanding an explanation as she shrugs her shoulders. "You could've buried us alive back there, but you stood up for us. Why?"
"It's all a part of the game, ladies," she answers simply, placing her hands in her pockets as she smirks. "I can be a powerful ally, or a dangerous enemy. If this place was under my control, those walkers wouldn't have even made it fifty yards to the front gate. I could run this camp blindfolded better than this nobody ever could."
"How do we know we can trust you?" Lilly questions, making me think back to Clementine and all the times that she's asked the very same thing.
Strolling away, Lorna peers at us over her shoulder and winks.
"I guess you've gotta roll the dice on that front, don't ya?"
With that, she walks down the path and out of sight; leaving us standing there utterly confused as to what just happened.
"Well…" Lilly sighs, folding her arms across her chest. "That could've gone better, but at least we've gotten rid of some of them."
"Yeah, but now Henry's more pissed off than usual."
"That, we can deal with," Lilly responds with determination, making me feel all giddy inside. She's got the fierce head of a lion on her shoulders – I wonder if that's part of what attracted her to me in the first place?
As we walk back down the path towards our tent, Lilly explains how the next phase of our plot is going to go. Something about sabotaging the vehicles or some shit, I don't know. I'm not really listening at this point, as I'm too distracted by her… everything… to take much notice of what she's telling me.
This is different than Luke, I'm sure of it. With him, the attraction was almost purely physical, and even then I'm not entirely sure that I cared about him as much as I think I did. Sure, I was upset when he died, but with Lilly it's… different. Totally different, and I can't lie and say that it wouldn't kill me if something happened to her. I can't lose her, I won't lose her… I'll make sure to be by her side until the die that I die.
It's now or never.
"Jane?" she calls out to me, breaking me out of my thoughts as I look up into her eyes. "You kinda just stopped. Aren't you coming?"
"Lilly, I…" I stutter, sudden;y feeling as if a massive jar of butterflies just got pumped into my stomach. I'm not generally afraid of anything, but this? This right here is nerve-wracking. "Look… I've been meaning to tell you something for a while now. I kind of have a confession to make."
"Umm… alright," Lilly agrees, stepping towards me as she cocks her head to the side. "Is this about some prank you're pulling in the tent? I hope you haven't filled my pillow with cement or anything!"
"It's-it's not, trust me. It's just that… I've kind of grown… close, to you. And I didn't realize it until now, but… I can't hide it anymore. I've got… feelings… for you… And… and…"
At this point, Lilly's eyes are like giant flying saucers, and she's totally at a loss for words right now.
However, this only grows larger as I fill the gap and kiss her right on the lips.
At first, it feels like fucking magic. Fireworks, cotton candy, the whole shebang. All of that passion seeped into one beautiful moment, and I feel relieved as I feel her kiss me back.
Things are going amazingly – perfectly, even – until it happens.
Lilly, in a state of utter panic, widens her eyes again…
…and smacks me hard against the side of my face.
We stare at each other for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say or what to do. This – this is what I was afraid of all along. That she'll be creeped out by the fact that she got kissed by another girl, and that our friendship will be shattered to the point of almost no repair. She'll never speak to me again, and we'll have to go our separate ways.
I can feel the stinging on my cheek, and no doubt Lilly sees the giant red mark that's appearing where she struck. Seeming to realize what just happened, Lilly wraps her arms around herself and slowly backs up protectively.
"I, uh…" she mumbles, choosing to look upon the ground as she turns tail and sprints back into the tent; leaving me alone as I continue to stare after her in shock.
It's no longer a jar of butterflies in my stomach. Now it's a swarm of killer bees – stinging constantly and letting me know what an utter, colossal idiot I am to ever think that that could've possibly worked.
"Fuck…" I mutter, holding my head in my hand. This couldn't possibly get worse.