Commander Shepard stood in the middle of the makeshift sparring ring, unable to decide if this was a promising situation or one of the worst ideas she'd ever had. Either way, heads would roll. The only question was if she would kill Garrus or Vega first. The immediate situation was Garrus' fault, but he wouldn't have come up with the idea if not for Vega and his ego.
…...
It had all started on the way to Menae. She'd gone down for a chat, and Vega had challenged her to a sparring match. Figuring she might get more out of the taciturn soldier if she humored him, she had agreed. They'd sparred, and although Vega had landed a few good hits on her, she had no trouble taking him down when she was ready to end the conversation.
If she had known that he couldn't accept defeat, even at the hands of his commanding officer, she might have let him win. He'd invited her to spar roughly once a week since then, and by now it was a matter of pride for her too, she wouldn't just let him win. And, since he wasn't really a match for her, she kept winning.
The regular matches had attracted an audience, and they both sparred against other people as well as against each other, so she had let them continue. She could beat anyone on the crew, until they arrived at Menae.
Garrus, of course, had been eager to participate in the sparring matches. He was easily a match for her; like Vega, he had both greater size and strength, unlike Vega, he had patience and tactics. She still won slightly more than half their matches, but she had to work for it.
After watching how hard she worked to beat Garrus in their first bout, Vega had smugly proclaimed that next time, he'd fight the winner. The look on his face when Garrus won had been worth the bruises she'd acquired before finally conceding.
The matches were an accepted part of the ship's routine by the time they collected Mordin and Eve. Participation varied based on down times and stress levels, and Shepard didn't always join in, but she knew the crew enjoyed it. That the matches would attract an audience was unsurprising. That the audience would engage in betting was unavoidable.
Today was no exception; slightly less than three days of travel were left before they entered orbit around Tuchanka; Mordin's cure was ready to go, the ground team had been selected, history was about to be made, and everyone was restless. When Commander Shepard stepped off the elevator, she was not surprised to hear a match already in progress. She was surprised by the sheer number of spectators. The explanation was obvious when she found Vega and Javik facing off.
James was clearly outclassed - Javik wasn't using his biotics, but his skills were still amazing - it wasn't too long before he had James pinned, and money started changing hands among the spectators.
When the combatants got up and shook hands, Wrex stepped into the ring. Shepard suppressed a groan, she should have seen this coming. The closer they got to curing the genophage, the more wound up Wrex had become; it was no wonder he was looking for a fight.
Javik blinked all four eyes at the large krogan, Shepard was sure he was about to say something unforgivable. Instead, he simply shook his head, declining the match. Wrex growled and looked around.
"Are none of you pyjacks willing to spar with me? I'll go easy on you, I promise."
Her crew shuffled nervously in place. None of them wanted to offend the grumpy krogan, but they didn't particularly want to get their limbs torn off and handed to them, either. She glanced around, hoping for a way to diffuse the situation, when her eyes landed on Garrus. Grinning, she stepped forward.
"Alright, Wrex, you want to spar? I'll spar with you, but not one on one. Two on one. What do you say?"
Wrex grinned. "That sounds fair, Shepard. Who's your second?"
She glanced around at the assembled crew - all of whom seemed to find the ceiling or floor just fascinating as they tried to escape her gaze. Grinning, she found Garrus scowling at her. He already knew who she would be choosing. "Garrus will help me, won't you?"
With a sigh, he joined her in the ring. Muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "I'll get you for this, Shepard," he faced Wrex and nodded. Shepard looked over at the relieved audience, and decided that if she was going to get pulverized by a krogan for their spectating pleasure, she'd ruin a bit of their fun. "No betting. Anyone caught making or accepting bets will find themselves on latrine duty. Permanently." A collective groan was her only answer as she turn back to Wrex and Garrus. "Let's go, boys."
Wrex dropped into a crouch as Shepard and Garrus backed away. A quick hand gesture, and she and Garrus separated, attempting to flank Wrex. If they could goad him into forgetting about the threat behind him, they might have a chance. Wrex, not surprisingly, faced Shepard, lowered his head, and charged. Backpedaling quickly, she dropped to one knee and rolled out of the way; the roll brought her back to her feet just in time to avoid the lashing kick he sent at her on his way past. She'd forgotten how fast he was.
Turning to face Wrex as he pulled out of his charge, she cast a glance around for Garrus. He was skulking around the edges of Wrex's field of vision, clearly hoping he'd be forgotten until he was ready to make his move. Wrex closed the distance between himself and Shepard again, more slowly this time, hands held loosely, weight balanced, eyes watching her for an indication of her next move.
They each got a few feints in, more as a stalling tactic than anything else. Shepard wanted Wrex's attention fully on her before Garrus made his move. She wasn't strong enough to get a good hit in against the krogan, but she was quick enough to minimize the impacts of most of the hits he got on her, so they were temporarily at a stalemate. Wrex was expending a lot less energy though, and Shepard was having more and more trouble avoiding his blows. Finally, he got a good one on her stomach and she backed off farther than before, ready to end this.
She caught Garrus' eyes, then went into a charge of her own - pitifully slow compared to Wrex's, but it had the desired effect; he stepped out of her path, grabbing her arm as she went past. As soon as she felt Wrex's grip on her arm, Shepard planted both feet and pushed, then let her legs collapse.
With the krogan's unbreakable grip on her arm, her momentum carried them a quarter turn in the direction she'd been moving; her sudden dead weight pulled him forward and off balance. That was the moment that Garrus struck, his own charge hitting Wrex from behind, pushing him further around and off balance. After that, a sweep of Shepard's legs against his and a push from Garrus, and Wrex was falling. Shepard barely managed to avoid Wrex landing on her, and her mad scramble was the only thing that saved her; the krogan rolled and regained his feet, coming up swinging, his eyes landing on Garrus first.
A single forceful swipe of his arm caught the turian in the side, sending him sliding across the floor towards Shepard. As Wrex stalked over, and Garrus tried to scramble to his feet, she knew she only had one option left. She let Wrex close the distance between them, and he planted a booted foot on Garrus' chest and glared at her, waiting for her to yield. Shepard knew she'd had brighter ideas; but with her crew shouting themselves hoarse and Garrus glaring at her from the floor for getting him into this mess, none of those bright ideas presented themselves to her.
So she balled her hands into fists, set her jaw, took a deep breath and headbutted the krogan.
Wrex had taught her how to do this himself, back on the SR1, and aside from one memorable occasion just before Grunt's rite, she hadn't needed to use it. Just as well, she wasn't nearly armored enough or strong enough to be effective. Fortunately, she was small and maneuverable, she aimed for just under his head plate. She got in a solid blow that rocked him back, and when Garrus shoved up against the foot that had been planted on his chest, Wrex went down for a second time. This time, he stayed down, rubbing his nose where she'd hit him.
Shepard slowly became aware of the cheering of her crew, and Garrus laughing beside her as he slapped her on the back hard enough to make her stagger. She grinned at him, reaching to wipe sweat off her forehead and only realizing it was blood when her hand came away red. She probed gingerly at her scalp; it seemed she'd caught the edge of Wrex's plate despite her caution. Walking over to the warlord, she noticed with amusement that there seemed to be two of him. Reaching out to the one she hoped was real, she offered him a hand up. He took it, and rose to his feet, grinning.
"Good to see you haven't forgotten the skills I taught you, Shepard. I thought maybe you'd been going soft on this fancy ship. Glad to see I was wrong." He turned to Garrus. "Good fight, pyjack. You fight that hard on Tuchanka, and we'll see this thing finished." Wrex turned and pushed his way to the elevator.
Shepard sighed, she and Garrus walked over to slump against the Kodiak as the crew gathered around to congratulate them. There appeared to be twice as many crew members as normal, not to mention a ringing in her ears, so she tried to keep her eyes focused on the floor as much as possible. Which is why she didn't realize that Victus was standing in front of them until he spoke.
"I had no idea you had such a wide variety of skills, Commander. And such unorthodox skills, too."
Shepard laughed, then winced as the motion pulled sore muscles. Garrus stepped in, regaling the Primarch with the story of Wrex's headbutting lessons on the SR1. As he spoke, Garrus watched the Primarch eyeing Shepard consideringly, and decided to get back at her for volunteering him in the match against Wrex.
"Shepard can find anyone's weakness and use it against them, no matter how good they are," he commented, slyly casting the bait. "Why, she beats me more often than not, and you know how close to impossible that is." He waited, a sharp predatory look in his eyes.
"I wouldn't exactly call beating you 'close to impossible,' Vakarian. Wrex must have knocked you around pretty hard if you've forgotten how easily I beat you in sparring matches back on Menae. Although it is good to see that it takes more than a beating by a krogan to rattle your pride."
Garrus barely resisted the urge to laugh aloud. What was that human saying? Hook, line, and sinker? "Well, then, Primarch, since I'm such a minor challenge, perhaps you should spar with Shepard. She'll give you a run for your money."
He suddenly had the undivided attention of everyone in the room. And the undivided glares of both Shepard and Victus, but that didn't bother him. He just grinned.
Victus opened his mouth to decline, then glanced around at the grinning humans surrounding him. He sighed, and looked at Shepard. She was wearing a wry grin.
"I really don't think we'll be able to avoid it, Primarch, since the question was raised in such a public setting." She directed a glare at Garrus. "But, if you don't mind, perhaps we can wait until tomorrow? I'm not exactly at my best; there seem to be two of you, and I'm not sure which I should hit."
There was nothing Victus could do, except nod and plot retribution against Vakarian.
…...
Shepard sighed. Now, a mere 24 hours later, here she was. Facing Primarch Victus in the sparring ring, surrounding by her laughing - and betting - crew. None of them had seen Victus fight before, but Garrus had made a point of loudly informing them that Victus hadn't become a general by sitting around, and that he himself lost sparring bouts with the Primarch fairly often, so the betting was brisk.
She'd decided: Vega could wait, the threat of retribution ought to keep him occupied while she dealt with Garrus. She was going to murder her best friend. She just had to manage not to embarrass herself in front of Victus first.