AN: So I have finally figured out how to add author's notes! It is different from Twilighted so it took me a while. I want to say to all of you who read and review, thank you so much for sticking with me. I know I update this story very intermittently and it means a great deal that you have faith. I hope you like the next update.

BPOV

I sat on my bed and fumed.

I was being treated like a child by everyone and I was tired of it. I had a cold, for goodness sake; I wasn't dying of pneumonia. It was just a cold. The way Edward was carrying on you would think they were about to measure me for my coffin. And Charlie was no better. As soon as Edward had left, Charlie had sat me down and forced me to take my temperature. Seeing Charlie play the concerned parent would have been sweet, if I hadn't been so annoyed. When it came back a little high he informed me I wouldn't be going to school until it came down. He was visibly torn between violent disgust at having to agree with Edward and vindictive pleasure that if I was at home then Edward couldn't be with me. I could see him planning to ban Edward on the grounds that I was infectious. If only he knew how specious that argument was.

I was so grumpy at Edward that I was almost ready to play alone. I knew I never would though. Being parted from Edward hurt me as much as it would hurt him. He was just being so...unreasonable. I wasn't china; I wouldn't break. Edward seemed duty bound to protect me against everything, even myself it seemed. Intellectually I knew how difficult this must be for him. I was ill, hurt by something he could not protect me from, and there was nothing he could do to make it better. But the understanding part of me was being drowned out by sheer irritation at his highhandness.

I was human. What did he expect was going to happen to me? I would only become more frail as I aged, I seethed, conveniently ignoring the many years of good health that statistically lay before me. If he didn't think I could handle schoolwork with a cold, how did he envisage our life together? Was I to be cocooned in bubble wrap all my life? Surely it was my body, my choice.

I snorted. Edward had obviously missed the Women's Liberation movement. In his eyes, it was his responsibility to care for me; with or without my consent apparently. I wondered idly to what lengths he would go to keep me safe. ...

I was being silly. Edward was just worried about me. He wasn't unreasonable or a tyrant. He wouldn't keep me from anything against my will. Not even school, which he loathed. I had a brief mental image of Edward kidnapping me and giggled. No, even Edward would not go that far.

The game was still blaring downstairs but it would be ending soon. I estimated Edward would be back in about half an hour. He seemed to find it harder to stay away when I was sick. I might as well use this time to get ready for bed. I grabbed my toiletries bag and headed for the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help me calm down.

Twenty minutes later I was showered, hair washed, teeth brushed and dressed. Decent pyjamas this time. After last night's humiliation, I vowed the baggy sweats were going to be retired. I was still angry though. Edward and I needed to talk a bit about boundaries and decision making. I settled on my bed with a book and pretended to read.

A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I stood up as Edward slid through my window and prepared to unleash. One look at his face, and the words stuck in my throat.

His face was too careful, too composed. Only his eyes showed any emotion; they screamed his pain. I felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked from my body as I stared at him. He moved towards me quickly, coming to a stop directly in front of me. Slowly, hesitantly, as if he was afraid to touch me, he reached out his hand to cup my cheek. I turned my head slightly to settle it into his hand and looked up at him through my half-closed lashes.

The hand on my cheek tightened as his other hand rushed up to seize my face. His face descended rapidly towards mine as my eyes fluttered closed. His lips were hard against mine, not as careful as he usually was. This kiss was desperate, almost frantic. It made my heart pound furiously, but for all the wrong reasons.

He had kissed me this way twice before. Last time I had struggled to recognise it; this time I had no difficulty making the connection. He had kissed me this way on my eighteenth birthday. Three days later, he was gone.

He broke off the kiss, ducking his head as if to hide from me. He manoeuvred me towards the bed and sat us down, pulling me into his side under his arm. It seemed as if he was deliberately positioning me so that I couldn't look at him.

"How are you feeling?" His voice was smooth velvet with no indication that anything was wrong. But I couldn't forget how easily he had lied to me before.

"Fine."

I didn't trust myself to say any more. I knew I needed to ask what was wrong, but I was terrified of the answer. He had told me he would never leave again. I scrambled for the certainty I had felt that night but all I felt was my growing fear. I couldn't do it again. This time I would shatter for sure.

He sighed. He hated when I used that word, but obviously didn't want to argue with me tonight.

"It's getting late, my Bella. You are tired, you need your rest. Lie back and I'll sing you to sleep."

I didn't want to sleep. I was too scared to close my eyes; terrified of what I might find when I woke.

Would he still be there in the morning?

I fought with all I had to stay awake. My body was sick and exhausted; still, I gathered my strength and battled to keep my eyes open. Edward had sung my lullaby four times before eventually, grudgingly, I slept.

EPOV

Bella's breathing evened out as she finally drifted off to sleep. I took a moment to study her face. I envied her peace. I would do anything, pay any price, to be human again, to share the experience of sleep with my Bella. To revel in the bliss of laying down my burdens in sleep.

Her sleep was not always peaceful. Even now she was plagued with nightmares every few nights. Any time that I was away from her guaranteed their appearance, even if I was just outside her bedroom window. My arm tightened infinitesimally around her. I wanted to crush her to me, cover her face with kisses, feel her heartbeat pound through my body and her hands leave fiery trails of desire along my skin. And yet, too well I knew that I did not deserve to so much as touch her. I had meant to keep a respectful distance, be a gentleman, as I came in. She was still sick; surely she would not want to be mauled. But, once again, my desire for her had overridden every other concern. I had been unable to help kissing her, desperate to find a way to express my contrition to her. The pull she had over every aspect of me...

Edward.

Alice appeared in Bella's bedroom window.

"Carlisle is waiting for you."

I scowled at her. The only way Carlisle would be waiting for me would be if Alice told him to. What was she up to? Her mind was carefully blank.

I looked back down at the sleeping girl beside me. I couldn't leave her; I couldn't disturb that peace.

"I can't leave, Alice. She still has nightmares."

"I know." Her voice was sympathetic. "I'll stay with her. Jasper is just outside; he can help if I need."

I opened my mouth to object but she pinned me with her stare.

Don't you dare suggest I would do anything to endanger her, Edward. This is as much for her benefit as it is for yours.

Nothing in her tone suggested that she would budge. Perhaps it would be a good idea to go and see Carlisle. I could be in and out before Bella even woke. Carlisle could tell me all I needed to know.

Alice's smile became more pronounced as she saw my acceptance of her plans. Her mind, however, remained stubbornly blank.

Go Edward. I'll watch her until you get back.

Bowing to the inevitable, I relinquished my spot next to Bella and prepared to jump out of her window.

I took off home at my fastest speed. I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible and get back to my Bella. Carlisle was waiting for me in his study, as promised. He looked up from his book and eyed me sombrely.

"Have a seat, Edward. Alice said you wished to speak to me." Carlisle's voice was careful and his mind firmly under control.

I nodded. "Did she tell you why?"

"Only that it had to do with Bella."

I ignored the chair, choosing instead to pace around the small room. I still felt pent-up, overwhelmed, by the events of the evening. It was too much, the fear and terror of last night, the light-hearted joy of the day with my love, then the agony of Charlie's memories. I felt battered, beset on all sides.

"Sit down, Edward, and tell me what the problem is. I can't help unless you talk to me." His voice was kinder now, the father I came to with my most vexing problems. I dropped into the chair and looked across at him, clasping my hands together in my lap.

"I wanted to ask...I need to know...I.." I was out of words. How did I ask the man I respected more than any other if I had permanently damaged the girl I loved more than life itself?

Carlisle sat silently as I searched for words, for control, for anything that would help me through this moment. A vision of Bella sleeping peacefully in her bed flashed into my mind and a sense of peace and purpose flooded through me. I needed to get this done, for both of us, so I could return to her side.

"Carlisle, I need to know if my actions have caused Bella irreparable harm."

He considered me appraisingly for a moment.

"Why?"

I mentally spluttered for a moment. "I beg your pardon?"

He cocked his head to the side and elaborated. "Why do you need to know? Does it make a difference to how you feel about her?"

"No," I said shortly, "Of course not. I just need to know if there is anything I need to watch out for. To keep her safe."

He gave me a small, sympathetic smile. "You can't protect her from everything, Edward. She has a cold. It is a normal human illness. Nothing to worry about. She should be better in a couple of days. In fact, I imagine you will start to see improvement in the next twelve hours."

"Why did she get the cold, Carlisle? She is still so thin. Her immune system cannot possibly be functioning to capacity. Will she always be like this? Will she pick up every random virus? You checked her medical records. You must have had a reason." The terror of the previous night returned full force. Carlisle would never have opened her file out of idle curiosity; he viewed patient privacy as too important to do that.

Carlisle sighed. "I'm sorry, Edward. I can't discuss Bella's medical history with you."

"I know what happened when I left, Carlisle," I argued. "I know about the catatonia. Charlie was thinking about it tonight before I left. Don't you see? I did that. It's my fault. I need to know the consequences so I can fix it!" By the end I was almost yelling, all my frustrations rising and the need to make my father understand propelling me forward.

"I understand that you are upset, Edward." My father's voice was sympathetic but firm. "But you are not Bella's husband, nor are you her next-of-kin. I cannot discuss Bella's medical history with you. If you want more information, you will need to talk to Bella."

I knew that decisive tone; Carlisle would not change his mind, regardless of my arguments. I would have to find out myself. It would be time consuming but not difficult to break into the records department of the hospital. I checked my watch to see if I had time this evening before getting back to Bella.

"Edward." Carlisle was abruptly stern. "I trust that you will not violate Bella's privacy for the sake of your own personal problems. I will be extremely displeased should I discover that you have looked at Bella's medical records without her consent."

He met my eyes with no hint the compassion that usually resided there. "I understand you are worried, but as Bella's doctor her well-being is my paramount concern. It is my responsibility to protect her privacy. Please don't make me tell her that you have breached it."

I stood then. Clearly, there was no longer any point to this conversation and I was wasting time that could better be spent with my Bella. Wordlessly, I turned away from my father and moved towards the door.

"Edward?" His voice was tentative as he spoke my name. I turned back to him and stood silently waiting for him to speak.

"Alice says that it will be a fine day tomorrow. Bella will be perfectly safe to go outside as long as she keeps warm and hydrated."

I turned away again. I didn't care what any of them said. Bella would be going to school in the morning over my cold, undead body.

I must confess the other reason for the delay is in updating is that I have been seduced into the world of contests. I never thought I would write AU or AH but I wrote an AH one-shot for the Plot Bunny contest. And, unbelievably, it came third in the Judge's Selection Round. Wow! If you would like to take a look, it is under my profile here, or on my page .net/u/2315242/

A word of warning - it deserves the M rating. Please, if you are underage, PM me and I will send you a more appropriate version. It is, however, full of angst (so a lot like this really).

I also wrote a one-shot for the Love for the Unloved contest. It is also very M rated so please, don't read if you are underage!