I AM HERE, HERE I AM

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. This definitely isn't going to be good for my head.

"Girls?" I heard someone call from above me. I blinked my eyes open to a scene of chaos. There were a lot of people screaming and my head was pounding. I clasped my hands to my ears, but I couldn't get the ringing to stop. Everyone was bleeding.

"Girls, can you hear me? Are you hurt?" I sat up and saw Matt run over to Zoey, who was complaining that her tummy hurt. There was another guy with us, trying to help Imogene.

"Hey, what's your name?" Matt asked him.

"Vaughn," the guy answered.

"Okay, Vaughn, I need you to go run around to the other side of the hospital and see if the ICU is intact, okay?" Before Vaughn could answer, he was passed out, and Kim was running over to us, followed by another woman. While they were focused on the kids, I looked around.

"I can go, Matt," I told him. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"What?" He asked.

"I can go," I repeated. "I'm fine, nothing hurts and the ringing stopped," I lied. "I'm fast, I'll go."

"No, Grace, we have to stay together," Zak coughed, coming over. "We need to get you all out of here."

"Is everyone okay?" I turned to my teammates.

"Triage is going to be in the tent!" I heard Matt yell.

"Okay, if you can walk, go to the tent!" Zak repeated to everyone.

"Zak, let me help," I begged him. It wasn't in my nature to just sit and watch people.

"You are thirteen and currently my responsibility," Zak coughed again. "You just got back after recovering from a concussion. You're getting your head checked in triage and then you're staying there until your brother comes to pick you up."

"My brother's a police officer, he's never going to be able to pick me up," I mumbled.

"Then you're stuck with me, come on," Zak insisted. "You can help Rebecca, I don't think she can walk," he whispered to me, and I nodded.

"Hey, Rebecca," I crouched down beside her. "We've got to get out of here."

"I can't feel my legs, Gracie," Rebecca cried. It was the first time I had ever seen her so scared. I looked down, and figured out why. Rebecca's leg was more blood than flesh.

"You're going to be okay," I grabbed her hand. I wasn't equipped for this. Zak was right, I was just thirteen. I didn't want to watch my friends die today. "We're going to get you to triage and you're going to be okay."

I tried to help Rebecca up, but she just started screaming. I couldn't do this on my own.

"The fire department just showed up," I smiled, hearing the sirens. "Someone will come and get us, okay?"

"Those little girls, are they going to be okay?" Rebecca mumbled. She was losing too much blood.

"Imogene's sister was there," I nodded. "She's a doctor. They're going to be fine."

"Am I going to die?" Rebecca asked me. I shook my head.

"No way," I promised her. "But we've got to find a way to get you out of here."

I looked around, trying to find someone who could help. Most people were preoccupied with their own injuries, and anyone who could help was already assisting someone. It was a nightmare. I saw the fire trucks pull up and saw the familiar 81 and took my chance.

"Rebecca, I've got to go," I told her. "I'm going to be right back."

"Please don't leave me!" She cried, gripping my hand.

"I have to, I have to go get help," I tried to get her to let go. "If Zak realizes we aren't with him, he'll come back and find you. I promise I will be right back."

"Hurry," she begged.

"Matt!" I yelled, seeing him with his truck. I didn't know anyone else at the firehouse very well, so I was hoping he would be here.

"Gracie, I thought you were with your coach, what are you doing?" He yelled while another firefighter helped him get his gear on.

"He moved some girls to triage. My friend's leg is really bad and I can't move her on my own, I need help. I think she's going to die," I admitted, wiping the tears off of my face.

"Okay, okay, um…" Matt looked around, unsure of what to do. I knew this was taking him away from helping other people, but I didn't really care about other people right now.

"I got her, Matt," One of the paramedics said, coming over. "You're Jay's sister, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Gabby talks about you all the time," she smiled. "I'm Shay, let's go find your friend."

"Okay, thank you," I nodded and we took off.

"Grace, thank God," Zak said once I made it with Rebecca and Shay back to triage. Shay placed a tourniquet on Rebecca's leg. I knew what that meant, she was going to lose it. I looked around, trying to count how many girls we had that were safe. I only counted myself, Rebecca, Kelly, and Margot. There were six of us this morning.

"Okay, Grace, Kelly, and Margot come here," Zak directed. "If you feel sick at all, you tell me, okay?" We all nodded. "In the meantime, sit in this corner and do not move. I don't care if you see a friend or family member or anyone, you do not move, you hear me?" Zak directed. "Do any of you have your phones?" We all shook our heads. Mine got busted in the explosion.

"Okay, it's okay. Just don't move," Zak pushed again before he ran off.

"Who didn't make it?" I whispered to Kelly. She had clearly been crying.

"Bethany," she choked and Margot pulled her into a hug.

"How's Rebecca?" Margot asked.

"She's going to lose her leg," I mumbled, picking at some dirt. People were still screaming and running everywhere.

"This sucks," Margot shook her head.

"Yes, it does."

"Alright, everybody, I need to know if a Grace Halstead is here!" A man shouted. "Does anyone know where I can find a Grace Halstead?"

"I'm right here," I groaned, getting up and walking over to where the man was yelling. "Who are you?"

"I'm with the Chicago Police Department, you need to come with me," he explained, showing me his badge.

"Jay?" I questioned.

"If that is the persuasive detective who told me to come find you then yes, Jay," the officer answered.

"Let me just go sign out with my coach and we'll go," I told the officer. "Where did Zak go?" I asked Kelly.

"They found Hannah, it isn't good," she answered.

"Okay, well, if you see Zak tell him I'm with my brother, he just got here."

"Okay," she nodded.

"Let's go," I told the officer. I felt a lot better knowing Jay was here.

"Jay!" I called out once I spotted him huddled with the firefighters. It looked like they were being briefed on the situation.

"Jay, it's Grace," I heard Erin tell him, tapping him on the shoulder. His eyes locked with mine and he held his arms out.

"Are you okay, are you hurt? How's your head?" Jay asked, checking me over.

"I've got dirt in a thousand places, but I'm okay," I told him. "A nurse in triage checked me out and I got a yellow tag so I guess I'm fine."

"Good," he held me tight, then pointed back to the officer. "This is Officer Nettles, he's going to take you home."

"Jay, I want to stay here," I complained. Now that I was safe with my brother, I didn't want to leave him again.

"I'm not asking, Grace. He's taking you home and he's staying with you so don't run away," Jay directed. "I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Please, Jay, I really just want to stay with you," I whispered, gripping Jay tighter. Instantly, I went from thirteen-year-old power house to five-year-old baby.

"Sweetie," Erin knelt down. "I know this is scary, but there is a lot going on. You're safe, but there are a lot of people who aren't. Jay needs you home where you can stay safe so that he can do his job."

I sighed, knowing she was right. "Okay," I mumbled.

"Good girl," Jay patted. "I promise I'll be home soon," he told me. "Behave, please."

"I will," I grumbled, and let Officer Nettles take me to a nearby cruiser.

"Thanks, man," I heard Jay whisper to Officer Nettles. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep on the couch watching the news. Neither of us had been able to tear ourselves away from the TV since this morning when Jay sent me home. He offered to play a game or something, apparently, he had kids, too, but I declined. There was too much loss today to do anything fun.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," Jay nudged me, seeing my eyes flutter open. He sat down next to me and rubbed my legs. "How are you holding up?"

"Eighteen people died today," I whispered. "That's what the news said. Bethany was one of them," I started crying. "And those girls…" I remembered seeing Imogene's face on the news, she died too. It had been back and forth all day. Tears, no tears. Tears, no tears.

"Today was tough," Jay agreed, sighing. "I thought about it this morning when I let you out of the house with that clown makeup on, but now I think I've made a decision."

"And what is that?" I leaned up, interested to hear what Jay had in store for me.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again," Jay squeezed my leg. I feigned a smile.

"Honestly after today, I'd be okay with that," I nodded, maneuvering myself so my head was on Jay's lap now. "I needed you today."

Jay ran his hands through his hair. "So did the rest of Chicago, Gracie," he said after a moment. "I needed to do my job."

"I know," I nodded. "I just…I needed you too."

"I'm here now," Jay ran his fingers through my hair, braiding a section of it. "Close your eyes, Gracie," he whispered. "I'm here now."