Just a little warning real quick: some sexual humor in this one, but nothing too extreme or dirty, I promise. Just wanted to warn everyone ahead of time if it's not something you feel comfortable reading.

This feels like a longer chapter than usual…maybe because it took a bit more effort to put into words what's going on in my head. Thank you to those that inspired me with encouraging words; hopefully the next few chapters will be up quicker than this one was…Okay, sorry for the interruption.

Story starts here:

Gaz was in a bad mood. Dib shook his head at the thought. "The understatement of the year," he grumbled under his breath as he rummaged through his locker for his chemistry textbook.

"What year precisely? And what have you understated?" Zim asked from his left. Dib jumped in surprise, slamming his locker door shut.

"Damn it, Zim! Can't you say 'hello' like a normal person?" he demanded. "And I was referring to Gaz's bad mood." He glanced over at the alien. "You look…happy."

"I do? Well, fear not Dib-stink! I do not feel this happy thing you speak of. I am not ill." Zim frowned in confusion as Dib shook his head and began to walk towards the science hallway. "What did I say?" He quickened his pace to keep up.

"Happiness is an emotion, not an illness." Dib paused and studied Zim thoughtfully. "Then again, maybe it is to you."

"If you were attempting to make a joke, you failed miserably. So where is your sister, anyway? Doesn't she normally hang around by our class to make sure we go? I don't see her anywhere." Zim craned his neck to see over the gaggle of students crowding the hallway, but there was no sign of the violet-haired girl. Dib shrugged.

"She's probably sulking in the girls' bathroom or planning to blow something up," he replied.

"Actually, she's standing right behind you, and you should know her well enough that she doesn't sulk." Gaz stated flatly from behind them. The two boys spun around to find her leaning against the wall. "I have nothing to sulk about in the first place," she added, glaring at her brother.

Zim smirked and caught her eye. She glanced away hurriedly, but not before allowing a smug look to cross her features. "How goes, Gaz-human?" he asked.

"As well as can be, I guess. Especially after Saturday." She was positive that she was blushing, but a hand to her cheek revealed it to be cool. Gaz managed to keep a straight face with some difficulty after seeing the suspicious glare on her brother's face.

"Ah, yes. Saturday was most enjoyable," Zim agreed with an evil chuckle. He reveled in making the Dib-monster squirm so deliciously with ill-concealed anger. "Perhaps we should do it again tonight, hm?"

"I'll see what my schedule looks like. You lasted for quite a while last time, remember? I can't be late getting home, especially on a school night." Gaz smiled at Zim and he wondered how she was able to maintain such a composed attitude.

"What are you talking about? What did you do to my sister, Zim?" Dib shouted. Several people walking by glanced over in curiosity. "What you two are doing is sick and just plain wrong! You aren't allowed around her anymore!" He paused in his tirade when Zim and Gaz couldn't help themselves and burst into laughter.

"What are you talking about, you insufferable moron?" Zim demanded between gasps of air as he leaned against Gaz to remain standing. Gaz stiffened slightly but allowed the alien to use her as a pillar.

"Yeah, what exactly are you insinuating?" she added gleefully. She quite enjoyed watching her older brother suffer. 'Who would've thought Zim would torture my brother like this?' she wondered mentally, enjoying it.

"Aren't you two talking about sex?" her baffled sibling asked in confusion. This innocent question proved to be the perfect catalyst to push their merriment to a higher level. Gaz, unable to support herself, dropped to her knees, Zim falling beside her. They leaned against one another to keep from collapsing on the floor.

"Dib, you are such a moron!" The alien and the girl regained composure after a near minute had passed. "We were talking about Galactic Invasion. We have a game saved together. Idiot."

"Yeah. Besides: 'Don't have sex, man. Sex leads to kissing, and pretty soon you'll have to talk to them,'" Zim quoted Steve Martin. "I am not such a cunning linguist as to possess the intellect required to converse with your sister."

Gaz chuckled a bit, wondering if Dib had caught on to that bit of innuendo. Probably better if he didn't. "Anyway," she said as she helped Zim to his feet, "the bell is about to ring. I have to be off to biology. See ya later." With that she disappeared into one of the classrooms.

Zim and Dib entered their own class and sat at a lab table together. Zim had to suppress the shudder that always went through him when he faced a lab table. Such pieces of furniture caused him to experience flashbacks of when Dib had threatened to dissect him. Oh well, at least he could be grateful they had never been in the same biology class.

Zim pulled a notebook from the messenger bag he carried and began to copy notes from the board. He paused when he noticed Dib glaring at him. "What is your issue, dirt-monkey?" he hissed in a whisper.

"I thought I told you to stay away from Gaz," was the heated reply. Zim glanced over at his bench-mate and frowned.

"It isn't as though we are mating or anything. You should be relieved that she actually spends time with someone other than herself since you're too busy for her." The words were out before Zim could stop himself, but he was annoyed now. "How is your girlfriend anyway? Still hating everyone that you're acquainted with?"

Dib winced and turned in his seat to find Lisa glaring at him from her table three rows back. He lifted his hand in greeting before ducking forward again. "She only hates you and Gaz."

"And that does not bother you? Even though Gaz is your sister, she is a better human female than your love-monkey is. There are far worse people she could be allied with. I should be the least of your fears."

"You're an alien!" Dib exclaimed. Their teacher looked up from her desk and hissed in their general direction. The boys hunched over their notebooks.

"You're a moron!" Zim retaliated quietly.

"Zim! Dib! I have had enough of your constant interruptions! I am going to separate you two!" The teacher stood and moved them forcibly to tables on opposite sides of the room.

Seconds later Zim looked up to glare at Dib, who had thrown a paper ball at his head. He unwrinkled the paper and read the contents: Stay away from my sister, Zim. I'm not kidding!

Zim rolled his eyes and chewed on his pen cap as he tried to think of a good reply. Finally he wrote Make me, Earth-stink! Besides, I don't think Gaz would be very happy if she knew you were trying to control her life. She does have more brain cells than your pitiful love slave. He threw it back, hitting Dib in the nose. Snickering, he pulled out a scrap sheet of paper and added You suck like a vacuum cleaner, aiming for his eye.

Dib howled in pain and embarrassment, but settled down when the teacher started to hiss again. He read the notes and sent Zim his best death glare. Zim shrugged it off, and when the bell rang he nearly skipped out of the room.

He found Gaz at her locker easily enough and leaned against the wall casually. "Hello Gaz."

Gaz eyed him warily. "Zim. You seem to be in a rather good mood. Are you feeling all right?"

Zim laughed at her hesitant concern and shook his head. "Yes, Gaz, I feel fine! I have just defeated your brother in a paper ball message battle! Of course, I (ZIM!) should come out victorious," he informed her. She sighed and pulled out her English book.

"How could I have doubted you for a second?" she questioned sarcastically, but the humorous tone in her voice dissipated when she caught sight of her brother. He looked ready to kill something. She pulled on Zim's arm and dragged him down a twisty hallway the alien had never noticed before. As they turned the corner Dib spotted them and hastened to get through the mob of teenagers. Gaz quickened the pace.

"Where are you taking me?" Zim demanded as Gaz pushed him through a door and shut it quietly.

"Shut up," she hissed in a whisper and clamped a hand down across his mouth. They could hear the slow, approaching footsteps of who they thought was her irked brother. As the steps went by and faded away, Gaz loosened her hold on her 'captive'. "What did you do to him to make him so angry?"

"Well, I…" Zim trailed off, fiddling with his hands. "Look, he's the one that started it. I don't even know what I did to make him so mad. He's stupid! He's crazy!"

"I'm not going to doom you or anything. I asked a question and I can't punish you if you tell me the truth." She twisted the doorknob, but it refused to move. She pounded on the door and readied herself to break through the locked nuisance, but Zim pulled her back.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. "I'm pretty sure this isn't a normal human custom when talking to someone in a…um, where are we anyway?" He looked around the tiny area. Gaz massaged her throbbing wrist and shrugged.

"Either a broom closet or the janitor's office. And the door is locked. I can't get out." She looked at Zim. "Unless you have some fancy alien technology that can get us out of here. I'm actually hungry for once. I don't want to miss lunch."

Zim stepped closer to the metal door. "Hrm. Well, let's see." A robot arm extended from his PAK and he fiddled with the tiny opening in the doorknob that led to the inner lock. After several moments he gave up. "Nope, I guess not." He slumped against one wall, resting his arm on a mop bucket. "Someone will have to open the door eventually though, right?"

"I'm not sure. This hallway isn't really used anymore." She sat across from him. "Well at least now you don't have an excuse not to tell me how you got on Dib's bad side."

Zim sighed in frustration. "I think that we upset him earlier with our little joke on mating. We went to class and he kept glaring at me. So when I asked him what his problem was, he told me that he had warned me about staying away from you." He noticed Gaz's eyes narrow and snickered. "I told him that he should be happy that you're hanging out with at least somebody, and that I should be the least of his worries. Not to mention the fact that I told him his girlfriend is hideous, you wouldn't be happy if you knew what he was doing, and that you're better than his girlfriend." He looked up and dared to meet her eyes. She looked absolutely livid. "And I told him that he sucks like a vacuum cleaner."

The ire seemed to be absorbed back into her skin as she cracked a smile, then snickered. "That's great." She began to laugh. "Where do you come up with this stuff?" she demanded, and then sobered at the thought that she had been laughing a lot more in the past few weeks.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no. I'm just wondering why Dib doesn't want you around me. I mean, you guys are friends." She glanced at him. "Does this have anything to do with you not being an Invader anymore?"

Zim squirmed under her piercing gaze. "Perhaps." Silence ensued for a good minute before the alien couldn't take it any longer. "Okay, I'll talk!" he shouted.

"You are a nut case."

"I know not of these cases of nuts, but I can assure you that I own no such thing," he replied heatedly. "This is going to be a bit difficult to explain. Be patient with me." At her nod, he tried to think of how to begin. "I have been banned from my home planet. It happened nearly two years ago, so do not give me such a simpering look. It stung at first, yes, but I will survive! Oh, what surviving will I do!"

"Zim." He put his hands down, looked at her. "Get on with it."

He cleared his throat. "Yes. Well, several months ago, during your horrible winter period, I received a transmission from the Tallest. I think it was by mistake. It was a listing of all the Irken Defects that were to be eliminated; the Defects that could not be fixed. I could not believe some of the names I saw. Invaders that I had known since I was but a smeet! Other Irkens that made my delicious snacks on Foodcourtia. The worst of it was when I saw my own name on the list. But it had already been crossed out."

Gaz was slightly confused. "But how is that the worst of it? Obviously they feel that you are of no threat to the empire, so you won't be hunted down. Isn't that a good thing? You can live the rest of your life in peace."

Zim shook his head, feeling something akin to sadness. "I am beginning to feel." He glanced up at her. "And it is the most terrifying thing I have ever been faced with."

"Well, feeling isn't all that bad," she said haltingly, surprised that those very words would have come from her mouth. "Besides, you have experience with a few of them. You said you are allowed to feel satisfaction, anger, pride…and I know that you have been sad before. Disappointed. Confused. Hurt. You've already felt so much more than you realize. What's adding on a little more going to do to you?"

"I can handle the 'negative' emotions. It is true what you say, about me feeling all of those before. But the Irken race has not been allowed to feel 'positive' emotions in a very, very long time. It does odd things to my squeedily spooch." He sighed for a dramatic effect, and in doing so missed the predatory gleam in Gaz's eyes. She grinned maliciously before pouncing on the unguarded alien.

"Does this do odd things to your squeedily spooch?" she asked in an almost scientific manner as she reached beneath his wig and stroked an antenna. He quite literally purred at the unexpected attention, and struggled to fight her off.

"Yes, now stop that at once, you intolerable female!" he shouted and she backed off. "Honestly," he said as he straightened his wig, "how would you like it if someone went around messing with your hair?" To prove a point he dragged a gloved claw through her hair.

She smirked in amusement. "I feel like a cat. Should I start purring too?" she teased. The smirk evaporated when he brushed against the sensitive skin behind her ear. She shuddered. "What…what was that?" she demanded, eyes wide. "That felt really weird."

Zim pulled his hand away quickly. "What? I didn't do anything! Did I hurt you?"

"No, but…" She trailed off, unsure of how to word her thoughts. She pulled her hair back and pulled the mass of it over the opposite shoulder. She ran a finger along her neck. "You touched me somewhere, and it was like this weird jolt went through me. I've never felt something like that before." She continued to search as Zim watched in silence, then gave up. "I can't find it. I guess it was just a weird screw-up on my biology's part."

"Should I try to find it? Maybe you're just not as superior as I at finding rebellious flesh," Zim said with a smug expression plastered to his face.

"I'm not going to say one word about how weird that sounded," she replied, but leaned her body forward and tilted her head at a slant. "You can try, but take that stupid glove off first. I don't like the way it feels against my skin, and it's not like I have cooties."

"Very well," he sighed in faux annoyance. He pulled the glove off and folded it neatly in his lap before extending a claw to touch her skin lightly. It was quite a different experience. "Your skin is very warm," he noted and she blushed slightly.

"I am alive, you know," she retorted, but closed her eyes to try and figure out where his touch affected her most.

"Feels kind of like peach skin," he added as he swiped the sensitive area once again. Her eyes flew open.

"Right there! Do it again," she demanded, her brain going a mile a minute. He did, hesitantly. "That's definitely the place." She reached her hand up and touched it, brushing against Zim's claw. They froze and stared at each other. "What's going on?" Gaz whispered.

"I don't know," Zim whispered back. She bit her lip as she tried to look anywhere but his eyes. She fell pray to staring at his mouth. Gaz used her other hand to try to touch the fascinating orifice, just wanting to see what the texture would feel like beneath her fingertips. She had just barely come in contact with them when the door swung open. The two immediately jumped away from one another, the spell broken.

A little old janitor lady looked at them in surprise. "Hello there, dearies. Shouldn't you two lovebirds be in class, instead of holing up in some closet?" she inquired politely.

Zim and Gaz exchanged a glance. "We got locked in," Gaz said abruptly and pulled on Zim's sleeve. They walked toward the cafeteria. "If we missed lunch, you owe me one," she growled. Her tone softened as she looked up at the alien. "And I think it would be a good idea if you didn't say anything to Dib about this."

"Agreed." They walked down the hall, each lost in their own thoughts.