Chapter 10: Ten Different Women

Since that day, I now referred to her as Evelyn, no matter where we were. She seemed to appreciate that, she told me after a particularly gruelling day, "I'd forgotten what it was like to be called Evelyn again. Aside from my mother and sister, no one calls me that anymore."

Though that being said, there was a slight change in our relationship. Our friendship had always been strained by overtones of other feelings, especially mine but it then changed. It was as though she knew that I had many decisions to make and she did not want to factor into my decision or affect me in any way. We never flirted and we talked less and in fact but ironically enough, that seemed to be the better way of knowing her.

During our different quests, I began to see her appreciation for life and freedom. Though she often sided with helpless mages, I began to understand that she did not do so for the sake of rebelling against Templars but rather, she had a real concern for the safety of the mage after ascertaining that they were not blood mages. She was careful but also lenient and it was a quality that I had never seen balanced so well.

What I didn't like seeing was her growing relationship with Anders. She was always close to all of her friends. Evelyn had an easy camaraderie with Isabela and Varric, gentle discussions with Merrill and Aveline and it was undoubtable that Fenris was her best friend but Anders… they had been growing incredibly close.

It had begun on the night of the Festival of Lanterns. Bright red, floating lanterns decorated almost every available space of both Hightown and Lowtown. By then, Evelyn's leg had healed nicely after daily visits from Anders and being the first night out since her injury, the entire group was to be present.

Through Isabela's insistence that Hightown socializing was not lively in any sense of the word, everyone waited for Evelyn in Lowtown where admittedly, everyone was celebrating. The Hanged Man was bustling with business, even more than usual and there was dancing. A lot of dancing.

When Evelyn stepped into the Hanged Man, time stopped. There she was, her unruly hair dropping all the way down her back and she was dressed in a deep siren's red, silk dress. It was sinful. The dress started at her chest, ample swells exposed to the light whilst her sleeves started half-way down her arms leaving too much of her skin bared. The dress was also short, stopping a few inches above her knee and her legs, Maker her legs, were begging for my hands and lips to worship. I wanted to march her home so that she could change or so that I could tie her to a bed and never let her go. And as she walked, no sauntered, towards us, every eye was upon her body.

"Thank Andraste, I'm out of the house!" she cried with enthusiasm, her hair bouncing as she spoke, sending a wafting scent of roses towards me…heavenly.

The rake within me saw red as she stood beside Anders, his eyes roaming over her curves. She pulled everyone outside, telling us that all the festivities were outdoors.

Stalls, shops and all assortments of food were sold. Anders never left her side as she tasted cakes, sipped on wine until her cheeks turned slightly pink. They sat together at the foot of the one of the stairs, watching firesparkles shoot up in the sky as Evelyn produced an amulet for Anders.

At first, he looked shocked and even a little angry at her gift but as she explained, he appeared mollified and even smiled. She placed it over his neck and he took her hand, kissing the inside of her wrists. She blushed and leaned into his warmth, allowing his hands to drag up and down her arm.

I nearly screamed in frustration and jealousy. My hands turned to fists and I was sorely tempted to drive an arrow right through the man. Hadn't he admitted to hurting her by being with her? Why was he taking such chances now? The selfish bastard! Isabela seemed to notice my reaction and she commented, "You snooze, you lose, Chantry-boy."

It had begun with a Tevinter Chantry amulet. Then he bought her new robes. The colours were bolder, dark periwinkle blue that led into a red reminiscent of the siren's dress she wore that night with golden embroidery that criss-crossed down her body.

Then he began his weak flirtations, throwing lines at her that were both clichéd and unoriginal. My inner rake bristled at his blatant attempts to seduce but I did not do much about it either. I never answered those questions in my mind, just pretended that they didn't exist.

After that, they were inseparable. Evelyn was never alone. If she was not doing a task, trying to save the Qunari that had been taken by prisoners, she was teaching Fenris to read and if she were not doing that, she was sitting in Darktown, watching Anders heal refugees.

I seemed to be the only who saw Anders for what he was. Selfish, dangerous and though, he was not an abomination, he was just as volatile and unsafe. With Evelyn so close to him, I was afraid that he would hurt her as he once told me. Selfish man, he knew he would hurt her, why was he pursuing her?

Then Quentin, that monstrous necromancer happened. Anders and she had been walking around the Chantry courtyard, laughing and joking. When she tripped, his arms came around her and pulled her towards him. Her laughter died down. Anders kissed her, devoured her, holding her in a violent passion that I found unforgivable. I had already run down the Chantry stairs to stop him but something else beat me to it.

Gamlen, Evelyn's uncle, had news of Leandra. She had not arrived for weekly lunch and he was certain that something bad had happened.

Along with me and Isabela, we followed stains of red blood into Lowtown and into a Foundry where we found Quentin and the freakishly stitched up body of Leandra. Every part of her body was from a different woman. We fought possessions of desire demons - Ninette, Alessa, Elsa, Dorothea, Elora, Allison, Cora, Fiona, Danielle and finally, Leandra.

It was with Quentin that Evelyn's cruel anger shone through. Her fury knew no bounds. She had him cornered inside a lightening cage, lifted him up into the air and an invisible force crushed his windpipe. As Quentin fought for air, hatred lined Evelyn's face. Ice sliced. Fire burned. Electricity arced. It was a slow death. There was so much blood. I was sure that every drop of blood from Quentin's body had been spilled and even then, Evelyn was not satisfied.

As Evelyn held her dying mother, Anders could offer her no help.

"I'm sorry. His magic was keeping her alive…"

Evelyn tried to talk to her mother, keep her alive through sheer force of will but her mother smiled sadly, a bittersweet smile, "I knew you'd come."

"I tried to find you." Evelyn's voice became frantic and full of fear.

"Shh, don't fret darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here. Now, I'm free. I get to see Carver and your father again but you'll be here alone…"

Tears welled up, making Evelyn's eyes glassy as she tried to reassure her mother, "I'll be fine….I'll be fine."

Leandra gave a soft chuckle, "My little girl has become so strong. I love you. You've always made me so proud."

Leandra's eyes closed peacefully and the tears that had threatened to fall came down upon Evelyn's face. Sobs wracked her body and she placed her face into her mother's neck, trying to convince herself that it was just a nightmare.

It was heartbreaking to watch. I could not stand her sadness. Each of us knelt by her side, taking turns in comforting her but it was no use and nor could it be of any use.

Evelyn had watched her family taken from her, one by one. Her father. Her brother. Her sister, though alive was not a real part of her life. And now, her mother. She was alone.

At some point, the tears stopped and she pried herself from the cold body. Fire rained down from the ceiling as Leandra's body was burned as a last farewell and without a second look, Evelyn walked out.

The three of us stayed as Evelyn explained the situation to Gamlen, who promised to explain it to Bethany and also to retrieve the ashes. He left with a, "Look after yourself, my dear."

She climbed the stairs and sat on the edge of the bed, staring out into the fireplace.

Isabela told her, "At least you had a mother who loved you very much. Despite everything, I know she's very proud of you." She gave a brief kiss atop Evelyn's head and left, knowing that she needed space.

Anders whispered, "I'm sorry" and left too without another word. I was shocked. Were they not in a relationship? Was he not going to comfort his lover?

Where Anders failed, I was determined to succeed. I would be there for Evelyn.

"Tell me this is all a bad dream." Her voice shook as she spoke, telling of all the tears that hadn't been released.

I could not give her what she wanted to hear.

I removed my weapons and armour, placing it in a heap on the bedroom floor, they were unnecessary tonight. I sat beside her and gathered her into my arms with painstaking care.

"Why?" she whispered into my neck, her breath hot against my skin. My arms rubbed her back in a few fast strokes, hoping to give her some comfort.

"I don't know", I whispered against her cheek. I wished that my words could change everything. For once, I was angry at the Maker. Why had He not been protecting Leandra? Why had Evelyn deserved such pain? Such a kind and giving soul, it was unforgivable.

I continually stroked her back as her hands lay limp on my chest. At first, my strokes were evenly pressured but then they changed as the night wore on. They became caresses and my hands, of their own volition, began travelling to other places of her body. Her sides, her shoulders, her lower back. I had barely noticed until the back of my hand brushed against her breast and she moaned a sensual note that thrummed right through my body.

Her face lifted from my neck and I forgot that she was a woman overcome by grief. I forgot that her mother had just died. All I could think of was the way she sounded in my ear before my lips crashed down upon hers. Her arms came around my neck and I covered her body with my own, wanting to possess her completely. I slanted my face, cradling her head with my hands before sliding my tongue around the edges of her lips. They parted easily with another soft moan and without wasting even a moment, our tongues met. Soft… seductive…hot… our tongues sensually slid over one another and I suckled upon it until in need of breath.

Her face was flushed with passion but her eyes… a cold bucket of water poured over me. Yes, lust was there. Need, want and I thought, even a sparkle of love but so was grief. Sadness, sorrow and heartache. I stroked her face, staring down into soulful, brown eyes.

"Evelyn…" I began but she interrupted, "Don't stop. Please."

I shook my head, "No, we can't." She opened her mouth but I interrupted, "I want you, yes, I want you but I won't make love to you like this… I need you to remember, not forget."

She was startled. She had not expected the term 'make love' and that, strengthened my resolve. I would not simply be sleeping with her, having sex or even, as Isabela likes to say, fucking her. I was to make love to her and I could not allow her to relate it as a way of forgetting rather than a memory of everything that we could be.

And then there was the fact that I didn't want to be with her as a distraction because I was available and since she and Anders…

Evelyn looked away in shame and I lifted her head so that our eyes locked, "If I could, I would throw caution to the wind just once. I have thought about this for so long and I am not so strong a man that I can really resist you but I can't stand the thought of having you hate me tomorrow."

"I will not –"she protested, sounding a little like me when I protested against my breaking of oaths. But I had and would have broken my vow and she would hate me tomorrow.

I laid a soft kiss upon her lips, gentle and chaste, "You are not one to do this lightly. You are not Isabela. You would regret it. Not to mention…Anders…"

She began a justification but I laid a finger at her lips, "Don't speak, sweetheart, just listen. It isn't my place to say anything, I just want you to be careful. He is a dangerous man and often, selfish. I'm not certain that he could place your needs above his own, as you so deserve."

Evelyn just nodded. I wanted to hear her explanations, I did but she didn't deserve my pressure. Whatever she felt with Anders, she needed to work out on her own. Satisfied that she knew of what I spoke, I held her upon the bed for the rest of the night, allowing her to find comfort and peace in my arms.

That next day passed like a blur for Evelyn. That I knew for certain. So overcome by grief, nothing that happened during that day or night meant anything to her. Her eyes were glazed and distracted and she was often unfocused throughout battle. She barely spoke, giving nods or shakes of her head, speaking only when necessary. When Seamus was found dead in the Chantry, she did not seem shocked. She did not share my shock that Mother Petrice, someone in the Chantry, could possibly commit murder. The tension within Kirkwall rose to all new heights.

After that, I paced the Chantry gardens trying to work out my feelings for Evelyn. I had kissed her, wanted her and broken every possible vow I made. Was this right? Then I caught her sitting with Anders, that night, right outside her house. With her face in her hands, I heard her sob in despair and sorrow. I thought it was because of the loss of her mother but Anders' response did not correlate.

"You tried, love. Please don't cry. I hate seeing you like this."

There were more apologies, "I'm sorry, Anders. I'm so sorry."

He held her hand and placed it over his chest, "This was mine to give but it wasn't like I had any choice in the matter."

He pressed the combination of their hands atop her chest and spoke gently, "This is yours to give but it's not as though you had any choice in who received such a precious gift. What matters most is that I will always have you in my life. That is enough."

"I thought…" she sobbed.

"You thought you could make me happy, could make us happy. You did. You made me so incredibly happy. Always have, always will and it won't matter whether we are lovers or friends, I will always be happy to have as much as you are willing to give."

Overcome by his sweetness, she launched herself at him, embracing him tightly. He kissed her forehead and held on for dear life, his eyes shut tightly as though trying to elongate the moment as much as possible. He loved her and he was willing to let her believe the lies he spoke.

For the first time ever, I understood what it was like to love someone. Watching Evelyn in his arms burned in my heart. It was not jealousy but rather heartache, so painful and bitter that my body doubled over. I gasped for breath, holding onto a garden fence as my only means of support. To watch her in another man's arms left a deep heartache that could not be cured without her body encircled by my own.

It seemed that no matter how flawed Anders was, his love for her was true. He would bear the pain for her, content in the friendship she offered.

I wondered if I could do the same. Could I leave her for her happiness? But, would she be happy without me? Thinking upon the previous night, the way she had arched into me… was it possible that she loved me?

Feeling like an intruder, I left, leaving them to their conversation. There would be time tomorrow to speak to Evelyn, or so I thought. I could work out my feelings tomorrow.

The next day she disappeared. She simply left with Widge, without a single word to anyone except Bodahn.

Awww! Where'd she run off to? Find out in the next chapter!

Please R&R!
Ann