*Slightly out of breath* Hi! Phew, sorry, hi. I'm back, how's it going? Last week or so has been wild. Exams, out of town twice, that pesky day job. Life in general. But I cooked some fluff up for you! Enjoy, and as per usual. Thank you so much for your patience!

I was tired. I was tired. Alex and I walked to the theatre together after checking out from our hotel. We'd stayed up far too late last night and I was paying for it. This morning seemed status quo for Alex. Cocky bastard. I snuggled him against me on the chilly walk. At the theatre, my time was spent trying no to doze off in my booth while Alex worked. I passed the reins off to my second after he arrived and kissed Alex goodbye, promising I'd see him later and left to pick up Philip.

Philip was waiting outside the school for me and took my hand on the walk to the train and told me about his day. I spaced out a little while he talked at breakneck pace about something interesting - a cadence he'd learned from his father.

"Did you?" He asked.

"Did I what, baby?" I yawned.

"Did you and daddy have a good time at the show last night?" Philip sounded exasperated at having to repeat himself and I felt guilty for not listening better.

"Yeah, we had a really good time." A really really good time.

"I miss daddy."

"I know, squirt."

"Why can't he come home, too?"

"He's gotta work. His job is even more important than mine."

Philip pouted and I guided him onto the train, "I don't like work."

"Nobody does. Well, I take that back. Your daddy and I love our jobs, we just hate when it takes us away from you."

"Does daddy like his job more that me?"

"No, baby, of course he likes you more than his job. He works so hard at his job to take better care of you."

Philip's brows pulled together, "that doesn't make sense."

"I know it doesn't but trust me."

Philip frowned but accepted the answer.

We got home and I fixed Philip's snack while he started on his homework.

"Hey, after dinner you're bathtime-ing tonight." I told him, setting his bowl of apple slices and peanut butter down, eating one.

"No." He protested.

"Philip, sweetheart, that's not very nice to say."

"But I don't want to take a bath." He said matter-of-factly.

"I get that. But you've got to."

"Hmmph," he kept working on his homework.

I got started on dinner and switched the laundry over, folding Philip's clothes on the kitchen counter while dinner cooked on the stove. Alex's coffee pot was half full with day old coffee. I poured myself a mug and heated it up, yawning while I drank it. Philip balked at dinner when I sat it on the table.

"Pork chops?" He whined.

"Yup." I took a bite.

"And…peas?"

"Yup." I drank from my mug and wiped my eyes.

"I hate pork chops… and I hate peas."

"A: I don't believe you. B: bummer, eat your supper, Philip."

"Supper? It's called dinner, John."

"Please eat." I rested my temple against my fist.

He pushed peas around on his plate and dropped two on the floor, I sighed and bent over to pick them up.

"Sorry." Philip muttered.

"It's okay, just eat, please."

"Okay, but, John, I really really hate this food."

"You haven't tried it."

"But I just know."

I took a bite, "eat."

"That's not very polite… talking with food in your mouth."

I shot him a look and hoped it evoked parental sternness as well as it did when I practiced in the mirror. It must have worked, he stabbed a piece of pork chop I'd cut for him and ate it, making a face until he swallowed. He dramatically grabbed his apple juice.

"John…" He whimpered.

"Yeah, baby."

"I really don't like it."

"Sorry, that's dinner."

He pouted at his plate. I finished my meal and loaded my plate into the dishwasher.

"If you're not gonna eat, then it's bath time."

"But, John! I will starve."

"Not in one night. Trust me, I went to bed without dinner plenty of times."

He paused, setting his fork on his plate with a clatter, "you did?"

I bit my lip and nodded.

"And you lived?"

"Looks like it."

"Then I'll be fine." He pushed his plate away.

"Whatever," I sighed in defeat, thinking about how happy to have eaten pork chops and peas I would have been all those hungry nights, "I'm gonna go start your bath."

"Why do I have to take a bath?" He put his plate on the counter.

"So you don't smell bad."

"I smell fine." He argued.

"For now, let's keep it that way. Come on, you know bathtime with me is better than with daddy. I actually know what to do with your hair."

I went to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, Philip pulled his shirt over his head, "are you black like me, John?"

"Nah, I'm latino and white."

"Nobody believes that I'm black, how come?" He braced a hand on my shoulder and got in the tub while I put bubbles in.

"Well, you're like light-skinned because you're mixed. People don't usually think I'm mixed either, bud, I don't speak Spanish... and my dad's white and I have a… I don't have a latino name."

"No one thinks my daddy is white." Philip scooped a handful of bubbles and blew them, dispersing tiny bubbles into the air.

I turned off the tap, "well, we know who we are, and that's what matters."

"Were kids mean to you about what you looked like?"

"Oh, yeah, I went to a private school where everybody was white, I didn't fit in at all… Are kids still being mean to you?"

Philip lie back until only his face stuck out of the water and nodded. I grimaced, hating that kids were so cruel.

"Have you told your daddy?"

"No… not really. Daddy worries too much about that because we don't have a family, well, we didn't you made us have a family, and we had a family before abuela went to heaven, but daddy thinks I'm gonna have a bad time because I don't have a mama. 'Cause you're s'posed to have a mama, but my mama wasn't ready to be a mama 'cause her and daddy was little still when I got in her belly, 'cause sometimes God makes mamas be mamas when they're too little to be good mamas."

I nodded and started to wash Philip's hair, "that's true."

"How come my daddy was ready to be a good daddy if my mama wasn't ready to be a good mama?"

"I dunno, squirt. I guess he was just more grown up. You're pretty lucky he's your daddy, aren't you?"

"Mhm! And that now I have you, you're my back-up daddy, maybe if I called you papi then people would know that you're brown like me and daddy and it would be like your special name to me… since you aren't really my daddy, but you're like my daddy. I think I want a truck for Christmas so I can practice being a firefighter."

My mind reeled as I processed all the information that he'd thrown at me, I put conditioner in his hair and lathered a washcloth before handing it to him.

"Well, you don't have to call me a special name if you don't want to." I assured him, wiping my sudsy hands on a towel.

"No, I want to. Boom! Now I have a daddy and a papi! But maybe I can just call you pop, it's shorter like that and we can still know you're brown. And you live here, everyone's brown here." He washed himself with the washcloth and I rinsed his hair out with an old plastic 'Wicked' cup with most of the writing faded away.

I helped Philip out of the bath and yawned as I wrapped him in the towel.

"Now you can do my hair." He reminded me.

"Right." I agreed.

"Can I jammy up first? I am pretty cold."

"Sure, buddy, jammies and teeth. I'll be in the living room." I pulled the plug on the bath and it groaned as it drained.

Philip met me in the living room and set the hair caddy down next to me. I put cartoons on and worked lotion into his hair. Once it sat for a few minutes I started to work out the snags. He whimpered and grabbed at his head.

"I hate this part!" He complained.

"Less screaming, squirt, I'm being gentle."

"Does it hurt when you brush your hair?"

"Yup."

"Ow. Ow. Ow! John! Ow!" He pulled away."

"Enough." I squeezed his shoulder and continued to brush his hair as delicately as possible.

"Okay! But it just really hurts me."

"I know, I'm sorry, baby."

"Can I have two braids?" He sulked, folding his arms.

"Sure. Sit still."

He squirmed, "I'm hungry."

"Well, should've eaten your dinner."

"Daddy doesn't make me food I don't like."

I sighed, "I've seen you not eat food your daddy makes plenty of times."

"But, it's true, I'm not a liar."

"I never said you were a liar." I yawned again and felt my vision grow hazy at the edges.

"But you told me that I-" I cut him off.

"Philip. Please just watch the tv."

He grumbled under his breath, I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the grin the twitched at my lips hearing his tiny, angry voice mumble, 'pop'. I had a name. A title. I meant something to this kid. This kid who I loved, who I'd do anything for. I had a name.

I braided his hair in two halves and kissed the top of his head, "alright, bedtime."

"Nuh-uh." He giggled, running to put the caddy back in the bathroom.

"Pip." I said sternly.

"Pop!" He called back, "they're like the same word! Pip, pop, Pip, pop!"

"That's pretty clever. Let's go to bed, buddy."

"Can I still sleep in the big bed?"

"Yeah, c'mon. Pick out your book. I'm gonna brush my teeth."

I took the overnight toiletry bag into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, leaning against the sink, convinced I'd never been this tired.

I slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, whether it was mine or Alex's to start with seemed irrelevant. Philip was still in his room. When I went in there, he was sitting on the floor playing with Spiderman action figures.

"Dude? For real? Let's go." My voice was whinier than I wanted it to be.

"Oh, wait, what am I supposed to do?"

"Pick a book."

"Oh… yeah! Book, book-book, book, book!" He wiggled and spun around in front of his book case.

"Philip, baby, come on, let's go." I sighed.

Finally, he picked a book. We cuddled up against each other and I started to read his Paw Patrol book to him, struggling to keep the words from blurring together.

"Pop! John!" Philip was poking me.

"Huh?" I sniffed and blinked.

"You fell asleep reading. What did Marshall do next?"

"Sorry. Sorry, okay." I kept reading, focusing intently on not falling asleep.

Once the book was over I switched the lamp off and curled Philip tighter against me, a miniature version of his father, arms tucked against my chest. I felt sleep start to crawl in almost immediately.

Philip sniffled, "pop?"

I shook sleep away and gripped him tighter, feeling the instinct to keep him safe kick in once I realized he was crying, "what'sa-matter?"

"I miss my daddy."

I rubbed his cheek and wiped my face with my free hand, "I know, he'll be home soon."

"What if he isn't? He's been gone a long, long time."

"Shh, Pip, you're alright, he always comes home."

"But I really miss him. Can we call him to say good night?"

I looked at the clock, it was only nine-thirty, "no, babe, it's still showtime."

Philip whined and sniffled harder, "I want to see him."

"I know. I know." I stretched and stroked Philip's braids, starting to doze again, he sniffled and I hugged him tighter.

The smell of cigarettes and coffee roused me as the weight in the bed shifted.

"Shh, shh, hi, boys," Alex whispered.

I heard the arms of his glasses fold down before he set them on the nightstand, he threaded our ankles together and pulled Philip into his arms, squeezing him and whispering, "my baby, oh, daddy missed you."

He kissed Philip's cheek and the boy continued to snore, Alex sighed happily and nuzzled against Philip. All was right in the world.

"How was it, Jack?" He asked me in a whisper.

I yawned and pulled Alex and Philip both into my arms.

"We were both crabby tonight, but I think we'll live." I pressed our foreheads together and breathed him in, his smell swirling with the conditioner in Philip's hair.

"Anything in particular?"

"Ahh, darlin', I'm just exhausted so I was short and he missed you like crazy so he acted a fool."

"Sorry you're so tired, sweetheart. I always forget you don't operate on less sleep like I do."

"It's okay… mmm… funny thing, he started calling me pop, is that weird for you?"

"Is it weird for you?" He answered my question with a question.

My face exploded into a grin, "no, I kind of love it."

"Me, too. You're our missing piece, John."

"I love you."

He picked his head up and kissed me, "I love you. So so much. Thanks for being able to hang."

"Always and forever."