X.

Jimmy woke early, long before Ben or, it seemed, any of the other Masons roused from sleep. For several tens of minutes, he lay in bed with Ben, studying Ben's features as the other boy slept peacefully, smiling faintly every now and then with every minute twitch of Ben's lip or squint of his eyes. But when it seemed Ben wouldn't be waking up anytime soon, and growing restless, Jimmy pulled some socks and a sweater on to shut out the chill air and slipped out of the bedroom, roaming downstairs. He poked around the family room a little bit, most of the boxes were cleaned up and pushed aside, and the futon Hal and Ben had dragged into the room arranged so it was nearby but otherwise out of the way, that way it could be used over the course of Ben and Jimmy's stay.

The brothers had decorated their family tree the night before, after dinner and before Ben and Jimmy left for Ryan's. Jimmy and Karen had watched on the couch as the brothers argued over which ornaments would go where, their parents hovering nearby. Rebekah took pictures, and the boys complained, covering their faces when she raised the camera, and their father scolded them for being difficult. Karen decided at some point that Jimmy must want to hold her baby, thrusting the soft, warm mass into his arms despite his stammered protests, and he sat on the couch putting more effort than should be necessary into not looking too disgruntled for a few minutes while awkwardly clutching the thing as the Masons all smiled toothily at him and Rebekah snapped several pictures. Then Ben hurried over to take the baby and Rebekah started talking about the process of adoption and Jimmy found himself wondering if they kept bleach under the counter in the kitchen and how long it would take for them to notice if he slipped off to drink it.

Now, Jimmy stood at the edge of the family room, arms wrapped tightly around his body, looking in at the room, and recalling those recent memories with a light smile and thundering heart. 'Family room', before that night, he'd never known what the term had meant. A room for the family, it had seemed absurd, yet he'd seen it with his own eyes, a family gathered together, enjoying one another. He dropped his head and sighed, and wandered away from the room, his heart growing heavy. One more day and Ben would meet his family.

Eventually, Jimmy found himself in the study. He scanned the books that lined the numerous bookshelves. They were mostly books about past wars; they seemed to be organized chronologically by the dates of those wars. In a glass case on one wall were several ancient looking guns, coated with a nice patina, and nearby were a few yellowing documents, from the looks of them, letters written by Thomas Jefferson and John Adams during the Revolutionary War. There was also a case filled with old military awards including a purple heart. Jimmy ghosted a finger over the glass of each case, carefully examining each object.

The door of the study swung open and Jimmy jumped, spinning round in surprise. Tom stood in the frame wearing a fuzzy blue robe, a steaming mug in his hand. His brow perked in surprise at the sight of Jimmy. Jimmy heart started jackhammering. He realized he probably shouldn't be in that room, Rebekah mentioned that Tom worked a lot in there, grading papers for school and writing his book. It was a private space.

Jimmy dropped his gaze and chewed his inner cheek, searching for an excuse, "Sorry…I was just…"

"No, I startled you. I'm sorry," Tom cut in, "I didn't know you were in here. I thought everyone was still asleep."

"Everyone is still asleep," Jimmy noted.

Tom nodded, smirking. He took a sip from his mug and wandered into the room towards a desk pushed to one side. He shuffled through the papers there. Jimmy watched him, anxious and uncertain. Should he leave or stay? He didn't know, and he felt like he couldn't move if he wanted, despite his brain screaming at him to get out.

"You and Ben got in late last night," Tom remarked.

"Uh…yeah. Sorry."

"It's alright," Tom said, looking at Jimmy with a glint of amusement in his eye, "You boys had fun?"

"Ben did."

"You didn't?"

"I did."

Tom sipped his coffee and eyed Jimmy over the mug. Jimmy shifted under the scrutinizing gaze. Tom's eyes were almost identical to Ben's, from their soft color to their playful light, but they were different in a way.

"You'll be meeting Ben's friends today. Are you looking forward to it?" Tom asked.

"I guess."

"Do I make you nervous?" Tom wondered.

"Yes."

Tom burst out laughing, and Jimmy flinched.

"I didn't expect you to actually say so," Tom said between chuckles, "Are you always so honest?"

"No. But you already knew, so why would I lie?" Jimmy replied earnestly.

"That's a good point," Tom said. He leaned back against the desk and sipped from his mug, "I've been wondering something…a few things, actually, since Ben shared the story of how he and you met. Can I ask you about that?"

"I guess," Jimmy mumbled.

"When my son asked you to tutor him, you turned him down, but then when he started asking you questions, you answered them. So why, then, did you say no to tutoring him?" Tom asked.

"I don't know," Jimmy sighed, thought about it and carefully explained, "I understood math, that didn't mean I could teach it. And teaching someone…agreeing to teach someone…it's a big responsibility, you know? How was I going to tell someone I could make them understand something that's so hard for them, when it comes so easy to me? I guess I didn't want the responsibility."

Tom furrowed his brow, nodding. It was the most he'd heard the young man say all at once and he was silent a good long moment as he mulled the words over.

"So then…why did you reply when Ben asked you about those problems?" Tom asked.

Jimmy shrugged, "I was bored."

"And there was no agreement that you could teach him, so there was no responsibility on your part," Tom surmised.

"Right," Jimmy confirmed softly, shifting uncomfortably, hearing it phrased that way sort of made it sound wrong.

"If that was the case, then why did you confront that other boy when he misled my son?" Tom asked.

"Because that guy was responsible," Jimmy snapped, fresh rage pouring into his bloodstream at the memory of that heart-wrenching email Ben had sent him, describing in excruciating detail his pain and sorrow, about how he'd been yelled at and lied to by a person that he had trusted, "That bastard agreed to teach Ben and then he went and broke that agreement and all for what? To attack me? Someone who had absolutely nothing to do with Ben? No. I won't let other people take bullets meant for me. Not ever. I went there to let that asshole know if he wanted to take me down, I was there and ready for him."

"I see," Tom commented.

Jimmy dropped his gaze again and flushed, realizing he might have gone a little overboard and worrying about what Tom might think of his outburst.

"I'm going to go check, see if Ben is awake," he mumbled.

"Okay," Tom conceded, taking a long drawl from his mug as Jimmy shuffled from the study.

Upstairs, Ben was still sleeping it seemed. Jimmy crawled under the blankets and curled up next to him.

"Your feet are cold," Ben complained. He rolled onto his back, stretching somewhat, and then turned on his side again, grabbed Jimmy into a tight embrace, squeezing the air from his lungs, muttering in a morning rasp, "Something's been bothering me, things Ryan said, from last night."

"You and your dad are a lot alike," Jimmy noted.

"I'm not going to ask what brought that observation on," Ben mumbled.

"What's bothering you?" Jimmy prompted.

"Why didn't you tell me when you went to Mexico?"

"Oh. That," Jimmy grimaced, and shifted so he could see Ben's face, not that it mattered, Ben's eyes were still shut, "I don't know."

"Not actually a reason," Ben noted, readjusting himself and Jimmy so that they were more comfortably entangled.

"I guess because…because there are some things about me that I'm not ready for you to know," Jimmy whispered.

Ben cracked an eye open to peek at Jimmy. He shut it again. He thought about asking why the statement was in present tense, but decided against it. Jimmy was an enigma and liked being that way, that's what drew Ben to him in the first place, and perhaps, to some degree, Ben liked him that way too.

"Okay. Also, what did you smoke in Mexico?" Ben asked.

Jimmy sat up abruptly.

"Oh, shit, look at the time. We should both probably take showers before lunch," he announced, climbing from the bed.

Ben struggled up to sitting, watching curiously as Jimmy dug through his bags for his various toiletries and then hurried from the room.

"Babe? What the hell did you smoke?"