A/N: Fair warning: this chapter sort of kicks off Erwin/Nile's story. I understand some people may just read this story for RivaMika, and the odds of everyone liking the other ships I include are slim, but for my own enjoyment there will be other ships sprinkled throughout, and that's that! Rest assured, RivaMika will always be the main pair that hogs the spotlight, but it's fun to explore the relationships their friends have, too.

Tapping keys made up the audio in Levi's condo. The artificial glow of his computer screen tinted his complexion; feeling as welcoming and familiar as the wan moon framed in his bedroom windowpane. The traffic far below in the sleepless city, and the rowdy neighbors next door never once disrupted the melodious rhythm his hands composed. Nothing could break his concentration tonight.

For the first time in a while, Levi felt like a writer again, not a professional backspacer who occasionally wrote a comprehensible sentence. It had been a long time since he heard the nostalgic beat of his fingers tapping consecutively on the board like this, like a dancer who rehearsed to perfection, contrary to the sound of infrequent, awkward steps like someone who missed all their recitals. Not even Erwin's threats or motherly coaxing could get him to write like this. This desire to work suddenly kindled inside him shortly after returning home from his date with Mikasa.

This surge of ambition came as a shock, but even impulsive acts of lunacy could be beneficial sometimes. Judging by his complete manuscript before him, this was one of those times. As inspired as he was to write a strongly worded online review about Godzilla: The Horrible Remake, he decided to catch up on one of his fitness columns instead. Reverting back to his usual procrastinating routine of profitless and negative critique wouldn't get him anywhere, he realized.

Retracting his tired fingers from the keys, Levi lifted his mug of tea from the coaster and internally read back one of the passages he wrote, pleased that he delivered all his thoughts in an organize fashion. The manuscript was riddled in errors and nearly all three thousand words were underlined in red, but it was Erwin's job to modify that mess.

This week's topic covered the importance of metabolism. Each week's topic became duller than the last, but the Sina Sentinel paid him generously for his printed opinion—so much so he earned himself his own weekly segment in the fitness and health section.

Erwin always critiqued him about his lack of personalization in his work, and always urged him to incorporate more personality to give his writing some flair for his devoted readers, but Levi saw it as a job that required hard facts and no storytelling elements, therefore he always swept that advice under the rug—until now.

Levi had digressed from his own opinion for once and slipped in a thin slice of advice he learned from Mikasa. It's not for everyone, especially not him, but it might be useful info for his readers to now the benefits of a spiced diet. He gave credit, even though it wasn't necessary to post disclaimers for sources of inspiration, but he noted that his girlfriend taught him that, thus seasoning a dash of personalization to his normally dull and fact driven weekly column.

Typing out the word girlfriend had made his heart leap in his throat, and no amount of tea would wash it down. As tempted as he was to delete that bit and sick to the usual monotone voice he used in these columns, he decided to keep the line in.

Levi sank back into the press of his leather computer chair. The mug felt warm in his hands, but he only felt the silky remnant of Mikasa's hair between his fingers. He drank his favorite brand of tea, but all he tasted was the spicy tinge left over on Mikasa's tongue; the one kind of spice he didn't mind. Instead of Angel's late night squawking, Mikasa's sweet singing voice lingered in his ears.

There was something about that woman that inspired Levi. Not only did she inspire him to write a manuscript he had been holding off for days, but she was beginning to inspire him to be a better man in general. He started to put his work first, and started to think before he spoke, and he started feeling terrified at this, but also thrilled by this sudden shift in his behavior.

Earlier at dinner, she had been right in her assumptions when she told him he kept a hidden piece of him from everyone—but something told him that sooner or later, he would allow Mikasa to click that piece into place and let her see the full picture. Displaying the full image scared him shitless, but he figured that maybe, just maybe, Mikasa might be the only one able to make sense of the confusing cluster called his life.

Rising from his chair, Levi strolled into the living room where he left his cell phone. Clicking back from a thread of goodnight texts from Mikasa, he landed back on the home screen and noted the time. It was nearly 3 a.m., meaning his editor had to be asleep by now. Before he crashed, he decided to leave a quick voicemail to give an update on his progress.

With a swishing flap of his feathers, Angel piloted his way to Levi's shoulder, greeting him with the usual, "Pumpkin?"

"You already had your midnight snack. Go to bed, fatass."

The pet bird pecked at the cell phone aggressively, demanding his treat as the phone rang against Levi's ear. Just as he was anticipating the prerecorded message to play, the line picked up.

"Hello?"

"Go to hell," Angel croaked, sharply pecking his beak against the phone case again.

"...Is this a prank call?"

"It's me. And Angel," Levi said, punctuated by the birds screeching exclaim.

A sigh transmitted over the line. "You need to teach that bird some manners."

"He takes after his daddy." Levi massaged the African Grey's jowls proudly, encouraging his bad behavior. "I didn't expect you to still be up. I wanted to leave you a message and let you know I'm done with the column. Warning, it's going to be a nightmare to edit. Hope you didn't plan on sleeping anytime soon."

Now that Erwin knew the document was finished, he wouldn't rest until it was polished and ready to publish. Erwin was the workaholic type that never delayed his editing duties, and because Levi knew this, he regretted calling and dumping the task on him so late at night.

"I'll get to it tomorrow," he replied, sounding distracted from a clatter in the background.

Levi shifted his eyes over to Angel, thinking Erwin's voice was mimicked to say something absurd, but the bird cocked his head guilelessly.

"You're going to edit it...tomorrow?" Levi stammered, feeling uneasy suddenly. That was a weird way of saying 'I'll get right on it' like he usually does.

"Yeah. I'm busy right now."

"I'm calling 9-1-1. Stay with me, Erwin, don't go to the light. The ambulance should be there shortly." Erwin never held off on work. Never. He's either about to commit suicide or he's unstably ill. Levi was worried about him, of course, but more so worried for himself because he's a selfish man-child who can't live without mama Erwin. Plus, if Erwin died right now, who was supposed to edit his column as efficiently as him?

"It's not me who isn't well," Erwin pressed his lips closer to the phone. "It's Nile."

Unsurprised, Levi's tension deflated as he combed his hair back in annoyance. "Another fight with Marie?"

"Yeah."

Those two fought more than the couples on those tween drama's, except they're married and in their mid-thirties with children who shouldn't act like damn teenagers anymore. At one point Levi created a mental calendar to keep track of the spousal spats. The pattern suggested they fought every other weekend, and coincidentally always landed on the weekends Marie was off work when she just so happened to have plans with her girlfriend's. Erwin once mused that Marie fought with her husband to prevent her from feeling guilty on her outings, and Levi agreed. That was a very Marie-way of thinking.

"I just saw him a few hours ago," Levi recalled as he milled about his condo, thinking back to that line of vicious children demanding toys. "I think Marie was Christmas shopping for the brats while he kept them busy. It seemed like they were doing fine last I checked."

"Not anymore. He's been drinking and crying in my apartment for the past few hours. I don't know what to do."

A fuzzy feeling trickled over Levi. Erwin Smith didn't know what to do? What a pleasant evening this was turning out to be. He pictured Nile heading for a boiling meltdown, diffusing sparks and short-circuiting as a devastated Erwin spun in little circles with a wrench, trying to fix his friend. Levi had to see this with his own two eyes. He wouldn't miss this for the world—oh, and he should check up on Nile, too.

"Want me to come over? We can tag team condolences. When I get tired of patting his back, I can tag you in for a wise word of encouragement."

There was a long, uneasy pause. "Levi...you're not very good with comforting people. And you're especially not good with Nile."

"What are you on about? We get along fine."

"About as well as two betta fish in the same tank," Erwin retorted, then whispered into the receiver, as to not let his company hear. "He's very sensitive right now. If you were to come here and call him a goat, or Billy, for that matter, or poke fun at his facial hair, you'd just make it worse."

"Admit it, he looks like a middle school boy trying to grow a mustache for the first time."

"This is why you're not invited."

"Since when do I need an invitation? I have a key." Squatting down, Levi rummaged through his liquor cabinet. "I was gonna email you my work, but I'll bring it in person, along with my best bottle of rum." Best, of course, was code for the one he didn't like.

"Fine," Erwin permitted with a sigh, knowing he had no other choice, "but please, be gentle."

Not even five seconds after Levi let himself in through the door of Erwin's apartment, which currently reeked worse than a bar, Levi gently greeted Nile with: "Who did your wife fuck this week, blotchy-beard Billy?"

"Levi," Erwin hissed, swerving away from cleaning up the overturned shot glasses on the table like an overworked bartender. Erwin signaled his eyes down to Nile, and Levi turned his direct attention to the lump of depression slumped over the dining table. That lump started to cry despairingly against the table top, drowning in a puddle of tears and split tequila.

Over the years, it was impossible to avoid Nile's company, regrettably so, because Nile was Erwin's high school buddy back before they even joined the army. They had branched into different units after their training days, but they still kept a strong bond that kept getting stronger as the years went on. Levi became convinced at one point that their friendship was stronger than Nile's marriage.

Pity filled Levi's eyes as he judged Nile's mussed appearance. Years of serving in the army and a career as a police officer had chiseled him into a disciplined and well-kept member of society, but the same couldn't be said about him now. That almost made Levi feel sorry for the pathetic sap. Usually him and his wife just have normal spousal fights...but did she actually cheat on him this time? Levi, along with their other close friends, had strong suspicions about her fidelity, but did he finally start to catch on?

Stepping forward, Levi performed a noble gesture of peace by offering the bottle of rum in hand to the dispirited husband. "I come baring spiced gifts from Captain Morgan."

Snatching the bottle, Nile upended the nozzle to his lips, taking a drink so desperate one could mistake him for a parched traveler in the desert. "Thanks, you can leave now," he sniffled as he wiped a rivet of booze from his chin.

Defiantly, Levi kicked out a chair and sat beside him at the table, which had a horrid centerpiece decorating it. The last one was a cartoonish turkey, now it was a fat snowman with a snowboard. Erwin probably thought it was cute, but it was a bigger eye sore than Nile's tear soaked face and drunken flush.

"I'm here to comfort you. Your mustache looks great, by the way," Levi lied.

From the look in Nile's eyes drunkenly swimming over Levi's face, he didn't believe that for a second. And he would be partially right: his beard still looked like a pathetic excuse of a beard, but he did actually want to comfort him.

To clear the accumulated phlegm from his throat, Nile hacked into his tear-sodden sleeve. "I just wanna be alone with Erwin right now."

"Okay. Shall I set up some candles and put on romantic tunes on my way out?"

"Enough with the jokes, Levi." Erwin warned crossly.

That long-feared commander voice triggered Levi to abandon his easy-going posture. That was the only tone of voice Levi always obeyed without question. Trying to place aside this comically golden scene playing before him, he sifted deeper and remembered why Nile was in such an embarrassing state in the first place. "Alright, in all seriousness, what's going on with Marie? Fill me in."

Nile quaffed down another stiff shot, as if to strengthen him, and then cradled Captain Morgan in his arm like a new born. "Marie cheated on me—has been cheating on me. After we got home from the mall, she freaked out and told me how she can't take it anymore. It took a lot of arguing for her to build up to the point, but then she finally blurted out how she wanted to spend the holidays with her boyfriend. Boyfriend," the wounded husband spat, appearing more hurt by the infidelity confession than the time he was shot on duty. "And then she blamed me for making her cheat. And then she went off on a tangent about how she wished she married Erwin, and that I ruined her life. And to top it off, she wants a divorce."

As Nile blubbered and wheezed on incoherent words, Levi did his best to stay composed and still, as if posing for a portrait that displayed the epitome of a strong pillar of support. The heart-wrenching story didn't contagiously transfer over the husbands feelings to him, but rather the words inflicted emotions on Levi that Nile should've been expelling: Anger. It was true that Nile and Levi weren't the chummiest, but not even Nile deserved to be treated that shitty.

"And," Nile took another quick swig, needing it for what he was about to say, "she wants full custody of my kids. She can take my heart, my house and half my paycheck, but that's the one thing she won't get. I'll see to that."

Levi's jaw clench tight. Those kids were disrespectful brats and he wasn't as fond of them as Uncle Erwin was, but he knew how much Nile loved them and Marie knew damn well too—she's just spitefully trying to wring out every bit of joy from her husband's life.

"I know this will be harsh," Levi started, relieved to finally get this off his chest after ten long years, "but Marie is a bitch. A greedy, soulless bitch."

"You don't know her like I do," Nile's slung his head up to defend her out of habit. "She might've been that way when she dated Erwin, but she matured once she became a mother."

"Oh sure," Levi agreed mockingly, "only mature women bend over for the plumber."

"It was actually our neighbor." His eyes shone with a vengeful gleam as he spoke through gritted teeth, "I knew something was up with them. But we fought enough—if jealousy was added to our crumbling marriage I thought we'd be done for. I tried to trust her. A lot of good that did me." Levi silently solaced his good efforts as he watched Nile rattle his head in regret. "He was always coming over with baked goods and repairing things around the house and playing with the kids. When I was finally home she talked to him more than me."

Levi bit at his lip. "That sucks."

"What're you going to do now?" Erwin stepped in closer, his brows upturned in concern. "Do you have any desire to patch things up?"

"We patched up so many times...I just don't think the mend will hold any more." Surrendering, he despondently swooped his fingers through his hair. "Even before she cheated, we did nothing but argue or ignore each other. I don't think she ever loved me as much as I loved her. When we did finally have sex she would sometimes slip out Erwin's name, which of course led to more fighting. "

"Sorry," Erwin flushed.

"It's not your fault," Nile swung a playful punch at him, and missed completely. "All these years I thought I beat you—I won Marie's heart and you didn't, but really she was probably better off with you."

"Nah. You're husband material," Levi shot back a thumb at Erwin. "He's just eye candy. Nice to look at but too much exposure isn't healthy. Erwin's the erotic fantasy, you're the kind of man who's made for diaper changes and family game night."

"It's really hard to tell when you're complimenting someone or insulting them," Erwin's eyes went rolling before landing back on Nile. "Anyway, you're free to stay here until you have everything figured out."

"Thanks," Nile blushed meekly. "I was kinda hoping you'd say that because she said her handy man next door is changing the locks of my house tomorrow."

"Wow." Levi folded his arms, sitting back in disbelief. "If it weren't for your children inside the house, I would burn it to the ground with her and her repair man in it."

"Sharing intentions of arson with a cop isn't very wise." Nile smirked for the first time that evening, and Erwin rewarded Levi with an approving massage on the shoulder.

See, Levi could be a people-person when he wanted to be, or when he wanted to prove the always right Erwin wrong.

Later in the night, which now could be considered morning, Nile ran out of booze and evidently steam. His rant, that seemed endless at the time, concluded with: "Man, fuck women."

The despondent husband went off to rejuvenate himself in the exquisite bathtub (which was, by far, the best tub in the world according to Erwin, who was a full grown man who still soaked in bubble baths).

Running a finger through his collar, Levi felt almost smothered by the massive amount of crap cluttering Erwin's living room. From useless knickknacks to collectibles, to quilts and throw pillows, if it was featured on a home shopping network or on a TV commercial, Erwin owned it. If it weren't for Nile hogging the spotlight tonight with his marital issues, Levi would've made two calls for Erwin's sake. One to Hoarders: Buried Alive by Crappy Décor, and the other to Intervention: QVC Edition.

Erwin and Levi were currently seated on the couch, watching a home shopping channel, which Erwin put on willingly and not because it was the only thing on at this ungodly hour. Unable to control his cravings like a twitching crack addict, Erwin had reached for his phone, dialed it frantically like it was his dealer, and ordered his fix of towels—which were a total steal for 3 easy payments of $19.99.

Once his order was logged, Erwin muted the endless sales pitch, no longer needing convincing. Levi flicked his eyes over to him, figuring he had something to say.

"I keep you in the dark about my personal life," Erwin faced him hesitantly, a look of grief blooming on his face. "I'm sorry."

"You're not in church. No need to confess your guilt."

"Hear me out. You tell me everything, but I never share a morsel of my personal life with you."

"Where's this coming from?" Levi nodded over to the drink on the coffee table. "Well, the whiskey, obviously, but what's bothering you all of a sudden?" When Erwin lowered his head and gave no answer, Levi went on to say, "I respect your privacy. If you don't feel comfortable telling me about your feelings or how many shits you take a day, that's fine. I respect that. There's nothing to be sorry about."

"I can't say I want to tell you about my bowel movements, but there are some things I think you deserve to know—you and I have been close for a very long time now. You're special to me and it doesn't feel right to keep this from you."

Burdened with sudden tension, Levi slewed away from Erwin, but continued to eye him incredulously. "Why do I get the feeling this is building up to you telling me you have a terminal disease, or that you're in love with me?"

"Not even close."

"Oh my God you're pregnant."

"Levi," the strict commander tone discharged once again.

Levi huffed impatiently. "What is it, then?"

His lips formed a few uncertain shapes, like he didn't know how to start or get his mouth around the words. Finally, Erwin winced, as if he heard Levi's ridicule already. "I'm in love with Nile."

The words rang in Levi's ears for a while, echoing off the walls of his skull until they lost meaning. Such a blather phrase didn't have meaning to begin with, actually.

"I love him," he said again with a sweet smile. "I love him," he said a third time, like an annoying repeated lyric from a loathed song.

Levi just wanted him to shut up so he could wrap his mind around this. "Say it one more time and I'll be sure to destroy everything you love so you can never say it again."

"You're so morbid," Erwin sulked. "Sympathize with me a moment. Imagine repressing that secret inside you for fifteen years, and then finally confessing to someone. How would you feel?"

"How would I feel?" Levi pretended to ponder "If I ever said I was in love with Nile, I imagine I'd feel suicidal."

"So morbid," he said again, and apparently Erwin had less speech patterns memorized than his African Grey. What had love done to this charismatic and slightly masochistic man? What's with that dreamy and dumb expression hogging up his handsome features? Levi didn't like this Erwin at all.

"...I think I would've preferred if you told me you're about to shit out a little Erwin."

"I'm being serious here, Levi."

"I know you are. That's why I'm trying to mask my unprecedented terror with humor," he said, though in truth the new reality of Erwin loving Nile left him feeling rather obtuse.

Needing a drink before elaborating, Erwin finished off his glass of whiskey with a hiss before diving in head first. "I only stole Marie from him when we were teenagers because I wanted to get her away from him. I planned to break up with her after a while. I thought I would swoop in and Nile and I would comfort each other's broken hearts, but she left me and they got back together."

Fixated on the pathological psycho sitting next to him, Levi stared in awe; almost impressed with his supreme level of insanity. He actually planned all that? Levi hadn't been around during the infamous love triangle, but he heard enough about it over the years to know how much drama it stirred. Why was Levi even surprised at this? Nothing was ever an accident with Erwin. The fucker was always five steps ahead of everyone. Levi imagined that was the first time one of his malevolent plans backfired. Served him right.

"What a shitty thing to do. That's why you got bad karma." Levi bopped him on the head with the remote. "Bad Erwin, using your strategic mind powers for evil."

"I know, I know, but now..." Erwin rubbed his head shamefully and lifted his head, the impression of a smirk on his lips. "Marie and him are getting a divorce," his voice rose like a cheerful child, but he realized with some guilt and changed his tune. "It's not like I cursed his marriage or anything. I accepted the unrequited love. But after all these years of waiting I feel like I finally have a chance again."

Erwin Smith just went full-blown whack-job with a side of corruption seasoned with delusion: a delicious dish arriving at Sina City's mental health facility soon.

"There's one thing you're neglecting to add to your equation, Erwin." For once, Levi felt he was ahead in the race. He was honestly surprised he hadn't considered this himself. "Nile is straight. He's been married to a woman for ten years and has children with said woman."

Erwin went quiet for a moment, completely dormant. Levi thought he had him stumped...until an explosive smirk broadcasted on his lips. "…You were straight too until our mission at Utgard."

With a gasp stilled in his chest, Levi's mouth just kept motioning but no audible words would eject, like Erwin had pressed his mute button too.

That thick eyebrow bastard. How dare him bring up Utgard when Levi was unprepared. And sober. Aggressively twisting in his seat, he jabbed a finger at him. "Our camp was stranded in enemy territory and I thought I would die. Excuse me for not wanting to die a virgin."

Recalling the eerie isolation caging him that night, Levi shivered as he recalled the brisk winds scouring his skin and the dreadful news transmitting over the radio. It was the ultimate worst case scenario: their squad had been abandoned without many resources, and to cap it off, enemy troops were lingering near with intentions to attack at sunrise.

Levi, a fledgling at the time, and Erwin, his despised commander, and a handful of others were left alone on the flanks of enemy territory. Those enemies were regrouping near and planned to ambush them at dawn. Everyone knew that escape wasn't only futile, but also punishable offense. Although the orders were to hold the fort until given the clearance to move in more troops, everyone knew that it was a suicide mission and that no one would survive.

In the beginning of Levi's military career, he and Erwin had a bumpy start to their relationship, and that grudge stayed with Levi for quite some time. He still hated his commander during that presumed last night alive, but just like everyone else, Levi and Erwin believed they would only live to see one more sunrise. In an effort to patch up their differences, Erwin had invited Levi into the abandoned watch tower for reconcile so they could leave the world without regrets or hate in their hearts.

Well, they certainly made up, that's for damn sure, many times throughout the night in fact until Levi actually believed he prematurely reached heaven at one point.

That night of woeful passion had stuck with the soldiers for years to come, weaving their relationship into a complicated, yet healthy alliance. But it especially helped the following morning when the enemies crossed into their camp. Thanks to better communication and team work they (obviously) survived miraculously and were unstoppable for years to come. Just when Levi was at the top of his prime, he nearly got blown up and landed himself in a coma, and that's when their team work was forced to end, but their close bond expanded—not romantically, but there was an almost nurturing bond conceived between them.

And even now the spontaneous encounter, although strictly not spoken of, still managed to hold together their relationship, but Erwin bringing up the affair ripped the mend from the seams and made Levi hate him all over again.

"You act like you didn't have a choice," Erwin said, amusement flickering on his face. "There were plenty of women soldiers present—plenty of which that would've loved to get laid on their last night alive. You didn't have to sleep with me to lose your virginity."

"You—" Levi gawked, an eye twitching. "You're the one who said it was our last night on earth and all this sappy shit like you'd protect me as long as you can, and how I was the only one who ever saw you cry, you manipulating bastard." He tightly folded his arms in a fuss. Thinking back, how did he even fall for all that cheesy shit? He supposed he was young and desperate, and his commander didn't look half bad coated in the glow of the last moonlight he'd ever see, but he still needed to defend his orientation. "I like women. I still consider myself straight even after that. You're just..."

"Good with winning over straight men?" he finished for him with a boastful snicker, taking it as praise for his next devious scheme with Nile. Was that his goal in life? Make comfortably straight men question their sexuality? Well, if there's anyone that could take on the challenge and succeed it was Erwin Smith.

"No," he corrected him, "you're good at being a manipulative son of a bitch. You manipulated me into fucking you because you made dying sound so romantic and you tried to manipulate Nile by stealing Marie. Now you're taking advantage of his life crisis."

"I'm not taking advantage of this." All amusement washed from Erwin's face. "What him and his wife decide to do with their marriage is out of my range of control. Yes, I agree that dating Marie just to get to him was immature, but I was a teenager in love. I would've done anything—but I'm not a child anymore. I wouldn't selfishly trick him or ruin his life for my own benefit."

Marking the sincerity in his voice, Levi ventilated his rising temper with a breath. "I get it. You're in love with him and if he just so happens to become available again, you want to test your luck. That's fine and all. But Erwin..." Levi faced him, ready to douse him with a shock of truth. "Like I said before, you're eye candy. You're like that one guy every straight man would have a semi-regrettable one night stand with. But Nile? I don't know if he's that open. He's so uptight and traditional. I mean, he has—had a dog with a white picket fence and actually waited for marriage before sex. He's so...by the book. Even if you can trick—excuse me, convince him to sleep with you, I don't see it panning out into love."

Trying to visualize a romantic relationship between Nile and Erwin made Levi cringed until a thought zipped in his mind and poured from his mouth, "Is this why you've been single all these years? You've been waiting for their marriage to fail?"

"God, no. I'm not that terrible. I was happy for them both and wished them well. As long as Nile was happy, so was I. But over the years they just kept fighting and Nile would come to me and I always felt more heartbroken than him when I saw how much Marie upset him. He deserved someone better, someone who would appreciate him, so my love never faded. I didn't date around because I was busy with my life and I figured I couldn't fall in love when I was already in love."

"Makes sense, in a hysterical Annie Wilkes kind of way." Feeling as if he was smothering under Erwin crazy way of thinking, he unzipped his jacket and fanned himself with the flap. "Now I know why you hide your feelings from me. Your feelings are weird and confusing and slightly diabolical in a sweet and pathetic way." Levi gave himself time to mull over the situation as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what to say, Erwin. I want to say you're an idiot who should quit before you get hurt, but I think you've been hurt enough after all these years of torturous waiting. So, fuck it, what's the worst that can happen? Test your luck. If he doesn't want you, just go about your life as it is now. Maybe if you get a confirmed rejection you can move on."

"Yeah," Erwin nodded sullenly, popping the bitter pill of reality he had no choice but to swallow. "I was just thinking that, too. I think it's the what-if factor that keeps me tied up in these feelings. If I'm positive that I have a zero chance with him, maybe I could move on from it. Like closure."

Both of them sat in silence for a while, watching the muted broadcast selling designer floral vases, but Erwin was too deep in thought to buy them, and Levi wondered if Nile fell asleep in the tub and drowned. He's been in their for an awfully long time. Wouldn't that be a twisting stab wound for Erwin's fragile heart?

"But enough about me," Erwin finally shattered the silence, and Levi quickly dropped the image of Nile floating dead in the tub. "I'm going on about my nonexistent love life when you actually established one. How did your date with Mikasa go?"

Erwin slipped back into his element like a comfortable sweater. Talking about Levi was one of his favorite pastimes. And as for Levi, it was a familiar territory, but now that he got a piece of Erwin's personal life he craved to carve out another chunk—but it could wait. Best left to savior slowly in tiny bites, or else he'll retch from an overdose of insanity.

"It went better than expected," Levi replied, images from their date flashing in his mind until the montage ended with the make out session in his car. "We're moving fast, which is completely my fault, but it's not like I'm afraid of fast change."

Levi didn't hold any current regrets about the recent developments with Mikasa, but a part of him wished he could get a sneak peek into the future to see if he took the right route. He went from not knowing what his online admirer looked like at the beginning of the week, to nearly getting his ass whooped by her amid, to making out with her on the weekend. And when Levi explained this to Erwin with a hint of concern, he had only this to say: "As long as it feels natural and nothings forced, I don't see a problem."

Levi yawned, already dreading the desolate commute back to his condo. "I guess you're right, but I'm afraid of fucking up—again."

Erwin gave a slack expression for a while; Levi's words simmering in his head until fondness swept over his face. "I don't believe I ever heard you say you were afraid, and this is coming from a guy who saw you stare death in the face numerous times." He gave Levi a rough poke. "You like her so much."

"A little too much. I didn't expect to fall so hard so fast." Resting his head back, Levi gazed at the ceiling fan spinning faster than his relationship with Mikasa. "Is it normal to feel like you jumped off a ten story building when you like someone?"

Licking his lips in thought, Erwin's eyes filled with hurt. "I'm not sure. I haven't hit the ground yet. I've been falling for over fifteen years now and I have a feeling the landing is going to hurt."

"Hey," Levi's brows bunched up in the center as he reached out a hand, but Erwin rejected his console with a dismissive sniff. "Anyway, I hope you two settle down and have many babies in the future."

"And if you two do get together, I hope you never decide to adopt children with Nile." Erwin chucked cordially, but Levi was dead serious. "I mean it. That man has too many damn kids to keep track of to begin with. Did you know he has a baby now, too?"

"Of course I do. You do too."

"So I've been told."

"This isn't The Brady Bunch, he only has three children. I bet you still don't even have their names memorized, do you?"

"Yes I do," Levi claimed, taking a second to recall their faces. In truth, he was actually quite forgetful, and had no desire to use precious memory space in his brain to retain useless details. "There's the obnoxious freckled face one, Ron. The little devil-spawn with witchy hair, Hermione. And I presume the baby has a lightning bolt on his head—Harry?"

"Those are the children from Harry Potter, Levi."

"Forgive me. They're total dead ringers."

Erwin let out a light chuckle. "The baby is a girl. Kathy is her name. Evan is the boy, Jessica is the girl."

"The baby takes after Nile, as I recall, so the name Harry would suit her more." Levi only prayed that the baby grew up to have a nicer beard than her dad.

Just as Erwin was about to scold him for bullying his precious niece, the bathroom door swept open and Nile emerged, steam seeping out around him. A towel orbited dangerously low on his hips, and another draped over his shoulder. Something told Levi that those towels were now more valuable to Erwin than the one's he just ordered over the phone.

"Do you have any clothes I could borrow?" Nile slurred groggily, looking hot and bloated from stewing in the tub too long. "All my stuff is unattainable at the moment."

"Of course, anything that is mine is yours," Erwin sputtered, his eyes locked on the towel, as if trying to drop it with his psychic mind powers.

With a sulking nod, Nile moped across the room, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the linoleum. Levi slowly turned his head to Erwin with a certain look on his face. And Erwin took his eyes off Nile's ass to meet that look with an angry glare. "This is why I don't tell you anything."

"I didn't say anything," Levi's eyes glinted with mirth.

Cursing under his breath, Erwin got up fitfully and followed after Nile.

Before leaving, Levi left behind his USB stick, loaded with his column. Maybe Erwin could edit it once he decided to abandon his role as a lovesick heroine. After brief thought, Levi lit a few of the many candles around the living room and turned on the stereo to get the mood right. Guttering flames and smooth jazz filled the room.

And Mikasa says I'm not romantic, he thought and showed himself out.

~x~

All Mikasa wanted to do was enjoy a quiet Sunday morning and drink protein shakes, reminisce about last night and read a bit about the mayoral scandals teeming around the web. Instead, Mikasa stepped on the stage of a political debate, monitoring the squabbles of a Democrat and a Republican with strongly opposing opinions.

Currently, the Dimwitted Democrat had the floor. She barely had her eyes open and her ears were already being widely stretched open by copious amounts of praise coming from Levi's number one supporter.

"I wasn't sure about him at first, but he's really cool!" cooed Eren, referring to his new idol, Levi, for what felt like hours. With the way Eren went on and on about him, praising him with shiny eyes, you would've thought he was the one who went on the date.

"Eren, do me a favor and tone down the fanboy volume, will ya?" Jean was present of course, here to play his usual opposing role. Once he caught on to the insult, Jean received a fierce and silent glare from Eren. "Or mute it. Yeah. That's good too."

For a second, she thought Jean attempted to put an end to this debate, but realized he was just clearing unwanted noise so he could add in his own piece. Mikasa wished him and Eren would go back to watching their Sunday morning cartoons and leave the topic of Levi alone. Hearing praise in one ear and insults in the other was a recipe for a headache.

"Like I was saying," Jean steered back to Mikasa, "I don't like him."

"You're just jealous because Levi's cool and you're a loser." Eren slipped in that groundbreaking argument to defend his new friend. One point to the Democrat.

"Oh," Jean feigned offense, holding his chest. "I'm not cool by Eren's standards? I'm so wounded."

"At least he doesn't shop at Pacsun like you. He's trendy."

"Well excuse me for not shopping at Kid's-R-Us like him."

Mikasa snorted into her cup. One point to the Republican.

"Those jokes are getting old," Eren fumed. "Come up with a new insult, idiot."

"Says the same guy who calls me a horse fifteen times a day."

"What don't you like about him?" Fed up, Mikasa's let her voice slice between their dispute; her glass making a loud thud when she set it down to bring Jean's attention back to her. "Honestly, I wanna know. If this is just a jealousy mechanism turning on, then save it. But if there's something genuinely concerning you I want to know about it. You're my friend, Jean, your input matters."

With the spotlight on him, his arrogance slipped into the shadows. Fidgeting sheepishly, Jean looked unprepared, like he didn't expect Mikasa to question him directly. "I just...I don't like that he had that fight with you. I can't get over it. I feel like you're forgiving him too easy."

"It's hard to take that advice from you. You hang out with someone who berates you and teases you constantly," she answered.

"Eren and I are different."

"And so are Levi and I. See, I can deal those cards too."

Jean clenched his jaw tight, and Eren parted away to sprawl out on the couch to surf through the TV channels. "He's got nothing to say because he's full of shit. He's using the fight as an excuse to make Levi look bad."

Jean flogged back to him, tense as ever. "I'm worried about her, moron. I don't want this guy to break her heart or abuse her, okay?"

Strangely enough, Jean was able to describe his true feelings to Eren, which helped Mikasa understand where he was coming from now. "I know you're worried, Jean, and you have every right to be. If you entered a relationship with someone you initially didn't get along with I would be worried, too. I would also think you were going to get your heart broken or prolong an unhealthy relationship—but in the end I would have to respect your choice and let you do your own thing, and I'm asking you to do the same for me."

Stubbornly waving her words off, Jean gave out a defiant groan.

"If you turn out to be right," she continued, "I'll let you give me the third degree and poke me with told ya' so's for the rest of my life, and I might heed your advice in the future, but for now have a little faith. I know how to take care of myself."

Scratching his head with another groan, a defeated expression dominated his features. And just like that, Jean gave up and chuckled a little. "I suppose you did date me so your taste in men mustn't be too terrible."

"Hah," Eren chortled in the background. "Now that you say that, now I'm worried. Mikasa has shit taste for dating you."

"Why don't you go jack off on cam with your beefy hunk?" At Jean's words, Mikasa braced herself for the imminent smack down.

Gripping for the nearest object, Eren flung a video game case and it left an instant indentation on Jean's forehead. "Shut your fucking mouth!"

Jean dove into the couch, too weak to stand as he held his aching sides and laughed uncontrollably. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Eren pounced on him, crawling on top of him to get a good grip on his polo collar. "Let it go already, dickface! I told you that was a girl with high testosterone levels!"

The excuse only made Jean breathless until he was almost crying, unable to feel Eren's blows through his force field of amusement.

Finishing up the rest of her shake, Mikasa hopped down from the stool and slid unnoticed into her bedroom, where she shut her door to muffle out the consecutive name calling and aggressive tussling. Heading over to her vanity, she picked up her phone and dialed Levi.

"Are you leaving for Stohess soon?" she asked once the line picked up. Giving greetings on the phone was not his thing, she realized, so she adapted to this new 'get straight to the point as soon as he picked up' arrangement.

"I'm still awake from last night," which was immediately obvious from the way he drawled out his words like a melted record. "I'll probably go later in the evening instead after I get some sleep. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. You really shouldn't do that, though."

"Yeah, I've heard. I try not to. But there was an emergency that needed my attention. One of my friends—the one with the shitty facial hair we saw at the mall—had a fight with his wife and was a total wreck."

"Are you kidding? That's horrible." Dropping down to her bed, she thought back to the man. Beside his moody interactions with Levi, he seemed happy with his kids and mentioned his wife Christmas shopping... What could've started a fight in only a few hours?

"Actually, it was pretty funny. That's why I rushed over immediately to see it with my own eyes. I'm telling you, Mikasa, he was the embodiment of depression. It was beautiful."

Her eyes were locked on the picture of his grumpy face adorning her mirror, which added to the intensity to the vile thing that came from his mouth. "You really are an awful person. Why do I like you?"

"You should've asked yourself this before agreeing to be my girlfriend. I regret to inform you that you are now legally trapped with me."

She was grateful Levi couldn't see the timid smile spreading across her lips. "Stop talking or else I'll find a way to void our contract. Now, go get some sleep."

Levi groped for words on the other end. "...I'll try. I'm exhausted but can't seem to drift off. Maybe I should go to Stohess to tire myself out."

"No," Mikasa's exclaimed, belatedly regretting the added enthusiasm in her voice. "I mean—I don't think you should be driving. Sleep deprivation and intoxication are related: they're both equally dangerous."

A groggy chuckle crackled into her ear. "Does that mean you're worried about me?"

"Absolutely not. It means I don't want you to die over something idiotic, like your sleepy mind taking your GPS a little too literal."

"Fine, I won't drive. I have a boring article that desperately needs my attention, so I'll work on that until I knock myself out. Talk to you soon."

And that was the last conversation Mikasa had with Levi. Days have passed since, and he hadn't returned her messages or phone calls, or showed up at Stohess. Levi had, quite frankly, disappeared from the radar and left no warning or trace behind.

Because of the odd circumstances, it became impossible to enjoy the new perks of having a boyfriend. One of those perks being boy-talk discussions with a best friend. Yesterday at the campus library, Mikasa naturally found herself interrogated by Sasha, who wanted all the details about her best friends new love interest. Mikasa very much wanted to share all the behind the scenes details on how the spot of the leading man in her life came to be. She managed to tell her they were going steady, but she couldn't continue. An uneasy feeling interrupted their talk like a depressing third wheel tagging along.

How could she brag about her new relationship when it hadn't even evolved beyond Saturday night? With everything that happened between them that night, one would think those were the ingredients to a very promising relationship. But no. Instead of going on a second date, Levi went poof instead.

"Maybe he's still sleeping," mused Eren, who had been trying to create positive justifications behind Levi's disappearance after Mikasa explained her concern to him. "Sometimes I sleep for three days straight."

Anxiously, Mikasa tapped her cell against her chin, which had been glued to her palm for the past few days as she waited for Levi to contact her. "That doesn't seem like Levi. He's active, unlike you." She slunk down deeper into the couch, leaning her head against Eren's shoulder. Levi might've missed out on some sleep last they spoke, but there's no way a working adult could get away with sleeping for three days straight, which meant Levi had to be conscious out there somewhere. She just didn't understand why a man so dead-set on making one-thousand impressions had ceased to make another since Sunday morning.

"Maybe we should put fliers around the city. We could crop out that picture you guys took and the flier can read: 'Missing Manlet. 5'3, 500 pounds in muscle and prone to hiss and scratch. Please bring him back to his loving home. Helpful hint: You might be able to entice him with cleaning products, but lizards will make him flee'."

A flimsy smirk rippled over her lips at Eren's attempt to cheer her up. "What would the reward be?"

Humming, Eren pinched his lip in thought. "They'll be invited to our exclusive Christmas party. By the way, are you going to invite Levi?"

"If I ever find him, yeah," she huffed, lifting her head up to rub her face vigorously. "Maybe he changed his mind about me and he doesn't know how to tell me." Without any confirmation, her mind automatically landed on the worst case scenario. Maybe she moved too fast and scared him off. But in all fairness, he technically kissed her and he was the one who asked her to go steady. She couldn't pinpoint anything she could've done that repelled him.

Eren shook his head wildly. "There's gotta be another reason."

Mikasa didn't argue with him because deep down, she didn't believe her pessimistic thoughts either. It wouldn't make sense for Levi to avoid her after making the effort to redeem their relationship and take it to the next level. But this didn't make her feel any better, however. If Levi wasn't avoiding her, then what was he doing? Where was he? Something had to be wrong. Not only did he always reply to her messages, but Levi never missed out on the gym, he said so himself, yet she hadn't bumped into him once. That alone made her danger meter spike.

Last night she even tried searching for him at Stohess, thinking he went later due to his whacked out sleeping schedule. She hung around until two a.m.—but he never showed up. The day before she asked Reiner and Bertholt if they saw him around, but they only offered a solemn shake of the head.

Even if he's just busy, that didn't excuse him from not texting her to tell her so. Everyone could spare five minutes within a time lapse of three days, no matter how busy they were. Unless his phone was broke? That wouldn't explain why he couldn't send her a Skype or email.

The morning of ultimate woe landed on a Wednesday, which was of course poetically befitting but did not befit Mikasa's already stressful state. Still feeling utterly stumped about Levi's disappearance, Mikasa carried a heavy weight of hopelessness with her to Stohess Fitness. Before she went off into the locker rooms, she peeked into the fruit bar and did a quick scan around. The bright space teemed with people, but none of the faces matched Levi's. Before glumly moving on, she glanced at their empty booth at the back. It made her heart sink.

Mikasa exited the locker rooms, garbed in an unmatched, baggy outfit that screamed: 'I probably won't see Levi again today so I don't care what I look like' followed by a delayed echo: 'Actually, I didn't do laundry because I'm confused and sad.'

While hoping a certain manlet would be hogging the machine she wanted to use, she headed straight to the weight section, set on burning off her stress.

Halfway across the gym, somewhere within the pollution of public noise, her ears sieved out a familiar chuckle. Her head lashed over to gander on the source, and she spotted a tall figure—and after a quick double-take she spotted someone else.

There, in the distance, she found the only two people in the world that could possibly offer her a map to locate the lost treasure she's been searching for. Diverting from her set path, she leaped into a jog and hastened her way across the cluttered space. All along she kept her eyes locked on the two men, fearing they might pull a mysterious disappearing act just like Levi if she didn't hurry.

As she weaved herself between the machines and trainers, she watched Erwin pull himself over the chin-up bar, smugly holding his weight with one hand for a long period. His presumed exercise partner, Nile, kicked at him like a hanging boxing bag to unbalance the showoff.

Short of breath, she arrived in front of them. "Hey, remember me?"

Nile turned to her with uplifting brows, and when Erwin spotted her, he dropped down from the bar with a thud, greeting her with a mouthful of blinding teeth. "Of course I do. You're the one who soused Levi with water. You're my hero."

"Nice to see ya' again," Nile gave a crooked smile, like half of him wanted to continue frowning and forget his courtesies. The golden wedding band he was twisting around his finger reminded Mikasa of what Levi told her on the phone a few days ago about his troubles with his wife. It wasn't her business, and she shouldn't know about this strangers issues to begin with, but she couldn't help but hope he and his kids were holding together okay. But more than anything, she hoped Levi was doing okay.

Nervously, as she still searched around for her missing manlet, she twisted her fingers around the drawstrings of her hoodie. "Is...Is Levi with you?"

Erwin pressed his lips together, hesitant to speak. "No, sorry. I'm guessing you can't get in touch with him either?"

The use of the word either inflicted her with more worry; the weight heavy enough to make her knees feel rickety. She had hoped they could've offered a remedy to this ongoing enigma. Desperately, she wanted everything to click back into order, but the pieces only scattered further apart. Now she was sure of it. Something had gone horribly wrong.

"Do you know if everything's alright with him or...?"

Not wanting any part in the conversation, Nile shoved a water bottle into Erwin chest and subtracted himself from the conversation by turning away. Broodingly, Erwin rubbed the icy condensation against his cheek. "I'm sure he's fine, at home working, most likely. I try to let him have his creative freedom, but once a few days pass I start to get worried."

"That idiot is stuck in another one of his writing binges." Irritated, Nile whirled back around with a scowl. "He pulls this shit all the time. He has no damn consideration for anyone. He stops sleeping for days, then shuts the world off."

"You know he doesn't mean to do that, he can't help it. I don't even think he's completely conscious of it." Erwin peeled his eyes over to Nile, his defensive mother-mode booting on.

"I don't think so." Mikasa knew it had to be more than work keeping Levi from communicating with her and showing up at the gym. "He hasn't even answered his phone. I'm worried it might be something more serious."

"If Nile is right, then it is serious." Erwin closed in in her, clutching her shoulder. "The last time he did that he ended up in the hospital to treat his acute insomnia."

A flash of anxiety rushed through Mikasa. As she ran her hands tentatively up her arms, she realized she didn't know Levi as well as she thought. "I didn't know he had insomnia. Is it really that bad?"

Erwin nodded gravely, then retracted his hand from her shoulder and crossed his arms. "It's bad. Chronically bad, but he refuses to take prescription meds to treat it. It's tolerable most of the time, but like most terrible things, it comes in waves."

"Disastrous tidal waves," Nile added quietly.

"Yeah. But this phase comes with benefits as well. I like to call this his ovulating cycle." Erwin mentioned in an effort to explain, but he only ended up confusing Mikasa more.

"More like PMS," Nile turned his head dismissively.

"No," Erwin transitioned into seriousness, like he personally took track of Levi's womanly cycles. "Levi is always PMSing. Ovulation time is different, he's creatively fertile." Erwin flashed red, like he forgot Mikasa was there for a second. "Sorry if I'm being offensive here, but I call it his ovulation cycle because Levi's creatively fertile during this time. The rest of the time he's blocked and sterile of ideas."

"But there's a price to pay. The cost is his health and the sanity of everyone who cares about him."

At Nile's words, Mikasa's insides flipped and churned like a whirlpool of stomach acid was raging inside her.

"He's probably fine." Erwin closed his eyes a moment, then reopened them on Mikasa with a genuine smile. "But it'll take the help of other's to get him out of this rut. He doesn't normally talk to anyone during this time, so don't worry, he's not ignoring you and he's probably not too delirious, yet. I bet he didn't bother charging his phone or he turned if off to avoid distractions."

"He's on auto pilot when he gets like that," Nile explained. "He'll just keep doing the same shit over and over again, like writing or cleaning without sleep until someone snaps him out of it and forces him to sleep. If it wasn't for Erwin saving his ass over the years he would've fainted from exhaustion or had a heart attack by now."

Speechless, Mikasa pressed her fingers to her mouth, her brows elevated toward the center in concern.

"He has a lot of work," said Levi's editor. "He's been falling behind lately so he's probably trying to make up for lost time, but now he probably has no sense of time and doesn't know how long he's been working. I promise you, he's okay. This is a normal and frequent occurrence. After a nap and some nutrition he'll be back to his grumpy self."

Noting that his words did little to nothing in cheering her up, he added, "I'm stopping by to check on him once I leave here. I could give you a ring and keep you updated if you want."

"Yes, please. I would appreciate that."

The two of them exchanged numbers, then discussed Levi a while longer. During the chat, Erwin returned to his routine by holding the bar securely and bending his legs over the rail. Leaning back, he casually continued his conversation upsidedown. Nothing too worthy of interest was said, other than Erwin giving her advice on how to handle him during his sleep-deprived states. Most of it seemed like common sense to her. Nevertheless, she archived all these tips for future reference.

Judging by Nile's harrowing expression, the subject of Levi was enough to give him a hemorrhoid. Having enough, he intervened with, "I'm sick of talking about him. Let's hit the showers and go check up on the idiot and settle this once and for all—at least until he does it again next month."

"The showers?" Apparently, that's the only snippet Erwin heard out of Nile's entire sentence.

Mikasa now noticed Erwin went red in the face, but she passed that off as a result of being upside down. With an agile swing upward, Erwin grasped the bar and gracefully swung himself back to his feet. Eager to depart from Mikasa suddenly, he said, "I'll be in touch," and he trudged his way to the men's locker room with Nile following leisurely behind.

~x~

Years of secretly texting her friends in class had taught Mikasa a valuable life skill: checking her phone when she wasn't supposed to. Sidling off from her position at the register, she concealed herself behind the coffee machine, slipped out her phone and browsed through her messages for what felt like the dozenth time this hour.

Seeing the empty inbox again made her hum a sorrowful note.

This was beginning to feel like an endless loop of waiting and disappointment. She thought Erwin would've dropped a text or called her by now.

Trying to render up some patience, she thrust her phone back in her pocket and let a mantra of positive thoughts sing in her head as she returned to her post. Erwin said he was going to check up on Levi and she believed he had every intention to do so. Erwin obviously cared about Levi a great deal and was probably a hell of a lot more worried than some chick who barely knew him—but it's been a few hours now, and with every ticking minute gone by she not only worried more, but became skeptical of the legitimacy of Erwin's promise.

In a situation like this, negativity was bound to hurt her before any bad news did, so she tried to brainstorm some logical reason. Perhaps he had some errands to run or had to accompany Nile with something. Taking a deep breath, she grasped the edge of the counter to collect herself before returning to her barista duties.

When her phone began to buzz in her pocket an hour later, she hurtled the freshly brewed mocha onto the customer's hand and quickly answered it, not caring about the rules against taking personal phone calls during work. There's a intolerant policy about showing displays of affection and dating your coworker, but that didn't stop Ymir and Christa from using Starbucks as their personal love nest.

"Levi?" she had answered without even glancing at the caller ID.

"It's Erwin. Sorry I took so long to get back to you. One of Nile's kids got sick and we had to pick her up from school early—then we got stuck at the pharmacy for a while."

"That's okay." A dry lump formed in her throat. "I assume you didn't get around to checking on Levi yet?"

"I'm in his condo as we speak." For a second, Mikasa's worry dwindled, at least until he continued, "He's not here, which is odd, but he does wander off sometimes when he's in these states."

Her head switched on to spin cycle mode. As a number of places Levi could've wander off to circulated around her head, she heard a drowned out voice in the background, one that belonged to a little girl.

She then heard Erwin's tone spike alertly, "Uh oh, Nile... I think Jessica's going to be sick again—try to lead her to the bathro—" but his order drowned out at the sound of a gag followed by a sickly splat.

Wrinkling her nose, Mikasa shifted the cell from her ear to lessen the intensity of the stomach turning sounds.

Erwin grunted at the mess Mikasa was grateful not to witness. "I knew we should've dropped her back home before coming here. Levi's gonna kill me."

If Mikasa wasn't harboring all these uneasy feelings, she would've found the notion of a kid puking on Levi's floor to be quite funny.

"I'll clean it up," she heard Nile say in the background.

"Anyway," Erwin directed his voice back to the phone. "The last time he wandered off I found him at The Underground. I'll give his siblings a ring and ask if they saw him. I'll keep you posted."

Swallowing thickly, Mikasa gave a weak, "Thanks, Erwin. I hope you find him," and disconnected from the line. Feeling as though she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Mikasa wilted over the counter, her head landing down with a thump as she cradled her jumpy stomach.

When her and Levi first established their contracts and the disadvantages that came with them, she had warned him that she became attached too easy, but she realized now that she should've been warning herself. All she wanted right now was to see Levi and know he's okay and safe. Knowing Levi was sleep deprived and working himself to death was already scary enough on its own, but knowing he's out and about, likely driving while in this state horrified her. What if he gets into a crash? What if he gets lost and doesn't remember how to get back home? This was getting bad—and she soon realized she had it bad for him to feel the way she did.

"Excuse me," uttered a wispy voice that was rough around the edges.

Not in the mood to render proper professionalism, she sluggishly inclined her head up and ran her slack eyes over the hunched man swaying on the other side of the counter.

It took her disordered mind a moment to register what she was seeing.

"Levi," she gasped and propelled forward, grabbing the dazed man by the collar. In the matter of seconds she went from startled to relieved...to angry. "Where the fuck have you been?"

He didn't even flinch, or blink—but he didn't see her, his eyes were straining up at the menu. "Give me two strong cups of coffee. No, three. No. Never mind, just open up a tab and keep them coming."

"Levi," she leaned closer, shaking him gently to gain his attention.

And his pouchy eyes, circled in dark pigment, finally lowered to her, and his sleepy lids popped open. "Shit. I forgot you worked here," he said, seeing her for the first time.

Curling her lip, she let go of his collar with a shove. "Nice one, asshole. I've been worried about you for days and that's the greeting I get?"

Twitching at her words, his gaze darted off her. "That came out wrong. I meant I didn't want you to see me like this."

And she could understand why after a brief inspection. Those piercing blue eyes of his had lost all liveliness; they were dilated and glossy and ringed in black, and his skin was as pale as ever. He was garbed in a faded gray sweater; the condition suggested it had too many trips in the washing machine. It drooped passed his hips and the floppy sleeves, that were currently rubbing at his swollen eyes, nearly reached his knuckles.

"Levi...you need sleep."

He shook his head weakly. The mussed condition of his hair told her he had stressfully yanked at it quite a bit.

A vision of Levi in a grand hall tapping away on a typewriter while repeatedly writing the phrase: 'All work and no play makes Levi a dull boy,' suddenly harassed her thoughts. Since Mikasa wasn't particularly in the mood to run through a maze away from an axe welding Levi, she sought out ways to convince him to sleep. "Whatever work you have, it could wait. Take a quick nap and return to your work when you wake up."

Riveting his attention back to the menu, he grunted, like that was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard. "I can't. I'm on a roll and if I go to sleep before I finish it, I'll never finish."

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"It makes perfect sense. I write better when I'm like this. Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice."

"That's a stupid way of saying you're going to kill yourself from sleep deprivation."

"Don't argue with Napoleon Hill. He was and still is a God to non-fiction writers."

Tilting her head, she looked at him with pity. What a shame. Her first boyfriend in years had snapped before she could even go on a second date with him.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Like four—" he squinted up, "—ty hours? Maybe more. Unless... Wait, is today Tuesday?"

"Wednesday."

"Oh. Much more than." He slurred, then stared at nothing for a while in silence, like he fell asleep with his eyes open.

"You need sleep," she stressed, waving a hand by his face until he jarred awake.

"Or the simulated equivalent. Make me the strongest coffee legally allowed." He then fished through his messenger bag strapped to his shoulder and threw down a random amount of cash. Mikasa might be a new hire, but she was pretty sure a cup of coffee didn't cost fifty-three dollars, six cents, two mints and a bottled of sanitizer.

"Do you expect me to be your caffeine dealer? In your current condition, that's just as healthy as giving you a mountain of cocaine." Bartenders have the right to cut off drunks who went over their limits—barista's should have the same authority.

"You know what they say: coffee if a poor man's cocaine."

"Levi."

"Mikasa," his eyes were icy enough to skate on. "I have to get my work done."

"Excuse me, miss? Could you please just take his order?" A customer with a tight bun and a tighter frown skewed from behind Levi. "I need four lattes before my lunch break ends."

"Yes, listen to the lady. Take my order."

Just when Mikasa felt that she had no choice other than to pump her boyfriend fatal amounts of caffeine, a distraction entered the space. From the looks of it, Ymir and Christa were finished with their daily make out session in the back room—or as they called it: 'ordering cups and napkins'.

As she was readjusting her tangled pony tail, Ymir spotted Levi, and her eyes crushed on him, causing her face to deform into a vile scowl. Making a shooing gesture, like she was trying to scare away an unwanted pest, she shouted, "Who summoned you? For the last time, we don't have any gold here. Away with you, leprechaun."

While Levi stared her down—or perhaps fell asleep again, Ymir slid in front, like she was a member of Mikasa's personal secret service squad. "Is this asshole bothering you? I could get rid of him."

"No, there's no problem," Mikasa assured over the sound of Ymir's cracking knuckles.

"There most certainly is a problem," the tight bunned woman intervened. "He's holding up the line!"

"I wouldn't hold up the line if she would just take my order," he countered before sending a pleading gaze at Ymir. "Could you make me coffee? I'll get out of your face if you do."

Groaning, she picked at her nail indifferently, then flicked the collected dirt at him. "Get it yourself, shorty."

"Okay." In an instant, Levi steered around the counter, but Mikasa quickly stepped in front of his path.

"Levi—no, you can't come back here." But words weren't enough to block his driving force. And even when she tried to push him back, it was like trying to stop a fray train with her bare hands, and so she ended up run down by him. All she could do was idly stand by as he fixed himself an extra, extra strong coffee. It looked like he scooped up a cup of swamp mud.

Clawing at the brim of the lid in that unstable manner of his, he turned away, but the lid came loose and the cup crashed down to the floor with a splat. A splosh of brown doused the floor and his and Mikasa's shoes. The motion was so fast that his sleep-deprived brain didn't even process this yet, she knows this because he lifted the cupless lid to his lips for a drink.

"Oh my god, go sit down," her eyes flared open. "I'll get you a cup, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," she said with a sigh as she pushed him out from behind the counter. Scuffling to a window seat, Levi settled in and proceeded to just stare at, or though, Mikasa.

"I'll clean that up," Christa said down at the mess on the floor.

Returning to her post as Christa's personal cuddlier, Ymir's arms hung over her girlfriend like a freckled scarf. "Don't worry about it, Mikasa will get it later."

Recoiling back in scathing annoyance, Mikasa bared her teeth at her. "How did you even come to be manager?" Mikasa couldn't fathom how Ymir's work ethic impressed the higher ups.

"The owner thinks I'm his grandson," Ymir explained. "Yes, you heard right, grandson. Since I didn't deny these allegations, I received a raise and a promotion."

The white house looked less corrupt in comparison to this place, Mikasa decided as got back to work, and Ymir decided to supervise the shop by glowering at Levi. Her eyes gleamed with fury, like how a bull stared at red. "He comes in here about once a month, just like my Aunt Flo. Both are unwelcome visits."

Christa strained her chin up to look at her girlfriend. "I didn't know you had an aunt visiting you so often."

With her cheeks dusted with natural rouge, Ymir squeezed her crushingly tight. "Don't ever change. Stay this innocent forever." But with the seemingly annoying presence of Levi being near, she couldn't indulge very long in her usual affections. "Ugh, he makes me sick. Just looking at him makes me bloated."

"I'm tired, not deaf," Levi remarked as he unzipped his bag and set up his laptop. "Stop making menstrual analogies about me."

Ignoring his wishes, Ymir spitefully went on, "He comes in every month or so tapping away on his MacBook, pretending to be a writer as he sips on plain coffee because anything with flavor is too 'mainstream'. His wardrobe is usually more swanky, but today I see he's going for that secondhand-esque look," she spat with derision. "Damn hipsters. This place is a breeding ground for them."

"He's a working adult that showers and hates selfies, obviously he isn't a hipster," Mikasa defended him, nearly finished with the latte order. "But he is a very dumb man that doesn't know how to take care of himself."

Ymir rubbed her chin suspiciously. "...I take it you guys are friendly?"

Mikasa braced herself for the impending shitstorm. "...We're sort of dating."

"What?!" Ymir launched forward with big open grin and nearly knocked her girlfriend off her feet. "You're dating him?! You gotta be shitting me!"

The sound of tapping keys abruptly halted, like a mad pianist making a dramatic finish. "Still not deaf," Levi reminded her.

Ymir veered in his direction aggressively. "You know, you'd be a lot more tolerable if you were that mute dwarf from Snow White."

"Your girlfriend is like four foot and you're calling me short?"

"Don't talk about my girl or else you'll get a surprise in your coffee next time you're in here," Ymir shouted back at him, having no consideration for the other customers trying to have a peaceful afternoon. Rowdy bars were more tranquil and orderly than this chaotic coffee shop.

"Pretty sure my girl wouldn't allow whatever scheme you're planning."

And at Levi's words, red festered on her cheeks. Hearing him call her 'my girl' made her heart flutter and those two simple words echoed in her mind. The fuzzy sensation didn't last long, however, because a beat later Levi was waving her down, demanding coffee. Who knew being in the presence of an insomniac on a literary mission could be so mentally draining. At least he was okay—knowing that gave her the boost she needed to carry on.

"If he dies of a heart attack after I serve him, would you two vouch for me?" Mikasa asked her coworkers. " I'm not really in the mood to go to jail for this."

"Don't worry," Ymir wave Mikasa off dismissively. "I've been trying to kill that little runt for months. Nothing will put him out of his misery."

Mikasa didn't have the energy to pursue the motives behind Ymir's blood thirst. Instead, she worked on making his order as she watched Levi from afar, sitting there moiling on his computer. One of his eyes were squinted from the fingers of light obliquely caressing his face as his hand tangled in his hair in frustration.

"So," Ymir snapped her out of her stare. "What's the story with you and Levi?"

"I should ask you, why do you hate him?"

Ymir shot her head to the ceiling in recall, letting the rage inside her return to a boil. "He came in here a few months ago wired as hell, worse than how he is now. He became hostile with Christa and made her cry. Ever since it has been my lifetime aspiration to make him cry."

Mikasa looked between Levi and Christa, trying to illustrate how that argument went down. She pictured two little mice squeaking profoundly at each other. "Good luck with your revenge."

"I'll need it. One time I 'accidentally' split hot coffee on him and he didn't even flinch. I don't think that man feels pain. I don't think he even has tear ducts. Or a heart. Is he human?"

"At least you know what you're up against."

"Something tells me you don't." Ymir bumped into her with a sneer, making her spill some of the coffee. "Was he your boy problem from before?"

"Yeah. We worked it out though."

"Man, if I knew it was him I never would've attempted to cheer you up. I would've called you a dumbass and moved on from it." Ymir slid back behind Christa, dissing Mikasa with a flick of the wrist. "If it doesn't work out—and it won't—be sure to record your break up. I imagine after losing a chick like you, there should be some hurt in his eyes. That should quench my thirst to see him suffer."

Mikasa didn't let her negative outlook on their relationship penetrate too deep. "Yeah, sure."

"You know, Ymir…" Christa spoke up hesitantly in a small voice. "Levi and I made up a while ago. He's actually pretty nice."

Endearingly stubborn as always, Ymir tossed her head wildly at her claim. "You're so afraid of him you're speaking nonsense."

"No, really," she insisted. "He reminds me of Mikasa in some ways. They're both reserved, but they both have short tempers."

"I do not have a short temper," Mikasa objected with a bitter scowl.

"I don't mean that in a bad way. You're a good person, Mikasa, and I think Levi is too. I could see why you're drawn to each other. Everyone snaps under too much stress sometimes. I can hardly hold a grudge against him for being human."

"Christa, weren't you even paying attention?" Ymir pinched her cheek, making the girl wince. "We already determined he's not human."

As Ymir and Christa debated back and forth about the authenticity of Levi's human existence, Mikasa relocated herself to Levi's table to serve him his drink, feeling as if she served a shot to a recovering alcoholic.

Yawning, tears trickled out the corner of his drooping eyes as he blindly reached for his cup as his other hand continued to assault the worn in keys of his laptop.

Slowly, she pulled out the chair beside him and eased herself down. "Levi."

No answer.

Sighing, she rested her hands on the table top, patiently waiting until his train of thought was logged into his computer before speaking again. "Erwin told me about your insomnia."

"It's self-induced. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." She noted his slumped posture, and how he didn't look like the well-groomed man she knew. "I was...worried about you."

"Sorry," he said sincerely, clicking down the lid of his computer. "That was the complete opposite of my intention. Magazine articles take too much time to write but they never give you enough. I thought if I got it done I would have more free time to spend with you, and I wouldn't have the lingering worry of getting this done."

"Are you almost done?"

"If I feel like handing in a shitty manuscript that would ruin my reputation, then yes. In truth, it's rough and not at all how I envisioned it. I was feeling so inspired—I don't know what happened."

Remembering what Erwin told her, it did seem strange. "I wonder why... Erwin told me how you become creatively fertile when you get like this—I think he called it your ovulation cycle."

"I expect no less from a man who reads chick lit and owns enough beauty products to pay for my condo twice over."

A smirk stretched her lips. "Tell me, why is someone who accommodates a condo in Sina City sitting in a grubby Starbucks? Wouldn't your place be a better writing environment?"

"Nonstop construction going on in the unit next door," he wove his arms together as he explained. "It was tolerable at first, but all that hammering started to feel like a jackhammer to the skull. In order to continue my work and save my sanity, I needed to find a quiet haven."

She didn't bother telling him that this place was about as quiet as a concert arena. Heaving back in her chair, she eyed the sighing Levi. "I might be tough to get to sleep with your neighbors being that loud."

"I can't sleep until I'm done working anyway," he reminded her before dragging his eyes back to his reopened laptop. "When I'm done, they might be done with the construction and then I can sleep."

"Done working for the day or done with the entire renovation?" she asked skeptically. "I'm beginning to think you don't plan on sleeping by the end of the day."

"It all depends on how fast I get my work done."

A quick glance at the growing line at the register suggested she ought to get back to work. Muddling her own feelings with Levi's personal life wasn't a mixture she wanted to concoct this early in the relationship, but seeing how Levi was no different than a vulnerable (not to mention stupid) child, she had no other choice. She'll have to fill the role as step-mom in Erwin's absence. "Well, you better work faster," she ordered as she pushed herself from the table, "because you have until my shift is over. That's your deadline. Then you're in my care."

"Do you plan on nursing me?" he eyed her playfully. "I realize I'm giving off the impression of a lunatic that escaped an institution, but I can take care of myself."

"Obviously you can't or else you wouldn't be in this state. You're spending the night at my place. I can't free you back out into the wild until you're well rested."

Before he could comment on her proposal, she handed him another order. "And please, call Erwin. Tell him you're okay and with me. He's worried about you."

"Can't. Phones at home," said Levi in a native zombie accent.

Digging into her pocket, she slapped down her cellphone on the table. "Call him."

Squeezing his tired eyes tight, he relented with a bob of the head. "Fine, I will. But please, please don't turn into another Erwin. I don't need two mother-figures."

"It's kind of hard not to gain yourself a gang of worried mother's when you act like this." And with that, Mikasa twirled back to her post, and after a brief chat with Erwin on the phone, Levi returned to work.