Mademoiselle E

Chapter X

"In fact I would say it's exactly the opposite, little E. I listen to everyone all the time."

"Not really, you hear but you don't listen. How could you be listening when you are saying no even before you are told anything?"

- & -

V felt watched. He knew far too well what it was like to be watched. It was the kind of feeling he'd only had to experience once to then never forget. It made him feel helpless, hurt and yes, even dirty. He'd hated it since the first time and now his dreams disturbed his sleep to remind him of what it was like to be watched. He wished all his experiments with drugs had been successful at suppressing such dreams but so far nothing had worked to that specific effect. He sensed a pair of eyes just turning to him and the inevitable unpleasantness of it would soon follow. He tried to pretend he didn't care; at least nobody was touching him or trying to cut a little piece of him to look under a microscope. In his dream he looked away, just waiting for everything to be over, resigned to be observed like a rat in a lab cage.

The eyes were focused on him with great intent; he could feel the intense concentration behind them, all from a mind not only seeing but also thinking. He waited for the unpleasant feeling to wash over him as always but nothing came. He felt very much watched and yet he wasn't offended, which caused a small conflict inside him as he attempted to reconcile both facts. Someone asked a question and a second individual answered it to then return the favor and engage in a rapid exchange of information he couldn't follow. V didn't understand the words but he knew they were talking about him; probably evaluating his latest reaction to whatever they'd cooked in the lab for him. Too bad he was just a small rat; if he'd been a chimpanzee or something similar, he may have followed a few words, or perhaps it was best not to know anything anyway, he wasn't in pain and that should be good enough so they could watch and talk all they wanted.

Deep sleep took over him once more sparing him of further hurt, always looming behind the horizon and he was wrapped in an unexpected but comforting embrace of warm blackness that could have lasted hours or years, he didn't really care. His inner clock finally announced he'd slept enough and pushed him gently back into the conscious world to face a new day. The lights were out inside the bedroom as they should at that time and everything seemed in order; his room was quiet and still barely colder than at daytime –one of the advantages of living underground- and he was surrounded by old, familiar smells of wood and leather, recently enriched by new scents brought into his home by a squalid female creature too fond of mischief who seemed to have been mysteriously replaced by a pillow his arms insisted on holding. He stirred, still too sleepy to panic and then knew –felt rather- where she was and why; in the last days she'd made even more discoveries about him and her new world and as in the last few days, she was surely expecting him to start the day with one of such things. He didn't know how she managed to do it without waking him and her ribs and leg should still be sore, not to mention the little nose she still couldn't touch without twitching but she had quietly moved yet again during the night to settle behind him, wrapping one arm around his waist and draping her leg over his hip, pressing her chest to his back. She definitely had very little respect for his personal space and one day he'd have to tell her so.

"Hiiiii, V"

"Hrm… morning."

Oh yes, he could definitely kill for that greeting of hers, he thought as he yawned and stretched until his muscles trembled under the soft sleeping pants and shirt. She called it "That kitty thing you do" and although she found it entertaining enough, it was just an appetizer for what she was waiting for. She'd even started waking up a few minutes before him to be there when it happened, even if she went back to sleep for a little longer afterwards. He thought it was a little silly but she seemed to like it enough to ask for it, as if she could somehow plug herself to him like a little vampire and feel it as well, and he was making an effort at finding things he could use to his advantage so the new ritual spinning around asking and granting was already the first of many they performed during the day.

"V?"

"Yes?"

"Do it!"

"Say the magic word and I just might..."

"Pleaaaase?"

"Very well…"

He grinned to himself, almost able to see those big brown eyes under disarrayed locks, blinking once, twice to then stare at him, asking for whatever she felt her very life depended on at that particular moment, like carrots or the remote. Besides he couldn't say no to something so simple; after all they still had to patch things up after the "No-more-shots" incident of the previous night so starting the day with a little pampering that would help reinforce bonds of affection seemed like a good idea. Her slim arms squeezed him tighter and he felt her pressing harder against his back, knowing he would indulge her and enjoying the brief moment of suspense. He took a deep breath to focus and with practiced ease contorted slightly to crack every bone in his back, stiff and not quite aligned after hours of sleep.

"Wow! That was louder than yesterday!"

"Good?"

"Yeah!"

"I'm very glad you approve of my noisy vertebrae. Now go back to sleep, you've still got one more hour or so."

"Stay…"

"I really shouldn't, there are many things to do before your breakfast."

"You never stay…"

"Fibber, I stayed yesterday and the day before that."

"Okay, you don't stay often enough, then."

"You'll turn me into a sloth."

"I'm cold! Just five minutes?"

"Not this time, destroyer of discipline. Now go back to sleep."

"You are not going out now, are you?"

"Of course not. Why should you ask?"

"Just… curious."

"Hrm. Sleep. I'll come back and wake you soon."

"Okay…"

He didn't need to turn on any lamp to move about his room; he knew where everything was and the timer wired to the lights would soon start the "waking mode" to flood the hall and his bedroom with the faint glow that would replace the "night mode" with its barely existent presence. He hated bright lights so early in the morning and he'd grown used to something that wouldn't offend his unnaturally sharp senses, still resetting after a restful night in almost complete darkness. He liked to think it was close to following the patterns dictated by the sun above and such small act of obedience to nature comforted him with its gentle reminder of a still existent connection with the living world.

The fans were working already replacing the warm but stall night air and he wanted to use time wisely to shower, get dressed and eat before making the brat's breakfast she'd be screaming for from the bathroom in little over one hour. The girl moved a few inches to the left to occupy the warmer spot on the mattress he'd just cleared, complaining as usual of being cold. He placed the pillow he'd been holding in her arms and slipped out of bed, tucking her in so she wouldn't grow cold once fresh but chilly air from above filled every room. She'd sounded insecure again about letting him out of her sight, something he'd have to think about at length and make adjustments as soon as possible for his own benefit as well; they'd already spent too many days inside and although they were well-supplied despite her voracity and even when they appreciated each other's company, he was starting to feel the need to spend a little more time with himself, with or without work as his goal. Of course he didn't need her permission to go out and wasn't about to even start thinking he did but he wanted her to stay willingly, knowing he meant to be back.

The hall lights came to life as programmed at their second lowest level of intensity and he started counting his time, picking up a few items of clothing from the armoire and heading out, wondering what he would have for breakfast; something easy and yet sturdy enough to cushion the pills and the drops and the tablets he'd ingest before someone he didn't want to name had a chance to wake up from a chemically induced slumber to pester him with giving her back to people he didn't even know nonsense, something he still found simply ridiculous since she seemed perfectly well-adjusted at his home and with no apparent desire to leave. She'd even started to take care of a few chores that didn't involve lifting heavy things or risking hurting her leg again such as doing her laundry as soon as she was allowed to move around freely. Soon it would be time to pronounce her cured and then V planned to subject her to a brief period of physical therapy just to be sure her knee and ankle would not resent having the bandages removed and reassuming activity.

A quick visit to the kitchen on his way to the bathroom made time management more efficient and V knew exactly how much time he'd have to shower and get dressed based on the kettle's whistling on the stove. Five minutes for this, two for that, and he was perfect again, at least his outside reflected in the bathroom mirror. Morning tea was mandatory, a harmless and tasty stimulant to help him concentrate on specific tasks he'd have to complete before it was time to wake up the little beast nestling in his bed. He was starving and a generous portion of scrambled eggs filled a belly acquainted enough with hunger to be thankful for being fed with anything as long as it happened on regular basis. Small pieces of fruit disappeared in his mouth as he focused on cooking a second breakfast, this one meant to sedate for a short while the cannibalistic instincts of his voracious guest with humble offerings of cherry-flavored jelly, butter-dripping bread, light tea, a bowl full with a mix of cereal, fruit and plain yogurt and at the end and just to be sure, two large eggs.

The kitchen clock reminded him of his schedule and he interrupted his cooking to take half a minute to make sure he was decent and ready to be seen in public before heading back to his room to awaken the girl. He'd learned he had to be especially cautious of her hands because even one of her fingers could be treacherously dangerous and with one move he could be at great risk of being pulled yet again under the comforter for another 15 minutes of guilty laziness, boots and apron included. Luckily the little thing was still asleep but close to waking up by herself so all V had to do was sit on the bed and turn the small lamp on to help her complete the cycle. She grumbled, objecting to having lights in her face even if the lamp was set on low but he knew that without lights in the bedroom, she'd go on sleeping for hours, which would mean she'd have to dress up by herself and have her breakfast cold and without company.

"Good morning again, mademoiselle! Time to get up, we have a busy day ahead."

"Five minutes…"

"Five more minutes and then lights on high."

"Okay…"

Sometimes she needed a little time to make up her mind and leave bed. In a way he could understand her reasons; she would be delightfully safe, warm and comfortable and then a lunatic armed with a clock would come and expect her to leave all that and trade it for cold air, cold floors and cold lights. He got up and walked out to check everything was in order at the bathroom after he'd made use of the premises and on his way back turned the lights on as promised without saying a word once the five minutes were over. A curse could be heard from under the comforter and he smiled to himself on his way to the kitchen, already focused on the breakfast he'd left half-cooked. A sleepy commotion disturbed the peace of his bedroom and soon after a ghostly shape could be seen, wrapped in a flannel sheet and heading for the bathroom. The girl's health was far improved despite her sniffling claims to the contrary and she was now allowed to close the bathroom door since no emergency was expected but he could still hear the water running in the shower. She no longer needed to be carried back and forth and although he missed it, the screams demanding for food were still part of the routine.

The flannel ghost he's seen a few minutes before was replaced in the hall by a biped caterpillar wrapped in white bath towels running back to his bedroom, complaining to herself of cold floors. He knew then time for cooking breakfast was practically over and followed the little thing into the bedroom to help her complete her morning transformation. He enjoyed the task of changing her bandages and helping her get dressed; it was very much like playing with a living doll that had discovered it was immensely entertaining to dig in his things in search for something to wear instead of simply putting on what he'd laid out for her. She reminded him of fancy ladies picking jewels for a ball; wrapped in towels from head to toes, chewing on her lower lip and assessing colors and textures that would match to satisfaction. She'd already picked a pair of thick socks and warm flannel boxers but the shirt was the absolute star every morning, the sum of all her taste and ambition.

"Hmmm black, black, navy, dark grey, black, even blacker… Oh, I like that one! It's very thick and fluffy."

"Ah. It's a winter favorite but I'm afraid it is dirty. It shouldn't even be hanging in the armoire; it belongs in the laundry hamper instead. No, you can't wear this one. I'll take it away…"

"No, no! I want it!"

"You've just taken a shower, why would you want to put on a dirty shirt?"

"I like it when they smell like you. I put them on and then you are all around me, like a hug that doesn't end."

"Biting me isn't enough any longer so now you intend to wear me as well?"

"Yeah!"

"Fascinating. And now that the subject has come up, you little lady, need clothes of your own."

"I can't wear yours anymore? You've got plenty and I don't rip them or anything, not even your red kimono."

"Yes, I do have a wardrobe generous enough to share but you should have yours and I intend to do some shopping of my own as well."

"Are you going out, then?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Soon, I believe."

"Today?"

"Tonight, actually. Right after curfew would be fine. I'm not in the mood for crowds and there's a tasteful little shop I've wanted to visit for some time already. The owners are secretly Buddhist, not the last in all England, I hope. Their records have been recently cleared of any reference to religious flaws and I hope my little meddling keeps them safe in the future. Tomorrow morning they'll find fewer items on their shelves but far more money in the register."

"I'll have to stay? All by myself?"

"You are not easily distracted, I see. Yes, you'll stay here all by yourself. I should be back in two or three hours but you can go to bed as usual."

"Alone? I'm very cold at night."

"Or you can stay up watching a film if you'd prefer."

"The telly room is scary if you are not there…"

"Since when? My dear, I assure you I intend to be back as soon as possible and you'll be perfectly safe here. Don't you want to wear pretty things?"

"Yeah…"

"Then don't make me go out to get them feeling like I've abandoned you under a bridge."

"Okay…"

"So will you stay home and wait for me patiently?"

"I'll try."

"Good. I'll tuck you in before going out if you decide not to stay up."

"You said two hours, didn't you?"

"Three at most."

"You said two!"

"My, my! I'll need almost one hour to get there and then another to come back. Should I grab the first things I see? I don't even know what your size is yet."

"Okay, three hours but that's it."

"Very well, three hours for now. We'll work on your tolerance gradually."

"Huh? Are you going to leave me alone again?"

"Child, one issue at a time. Right now we are discussing the first stage of building your wardrobe."

"But you'll leave me alone again! You've just said so!"

"Can we discuss that later? Clothes first. Focus."

"Focus?"

"Yes, right now I want you to concentrate on your new clothes only. We'll discuss other matters tomorrow."

"Uh… okay. So can I wear anything I'd like?"

"I'm afraid to ask."

"Duh! I mean I won't have to wear a uniform or sissy dresses and stuff?"

"Should I believe you don't like dresses?"

"Yuck. I'm not wearing a pink dress or anything like that!"

"A pink dress, did you say?"

"Yeah, I'm not wearing that kind of stuff!"

"Such a pity, you'd look cute beyond words in a pink dress with lace and ruffles."

"I knew you were a pervert..."

"Hmmm… a pink dress. Yes, I like that…"

"V!"

"Yes?"

"Be nice!"

"I assure you I'm not personally into pink dresses."

"Oh really? You sound far too interested!"

"My interest on pink dresses is restricted to my work."

"That sounded even worse."

"I'll explain later. Maybe. So, my old shirts have been enough until now but you are spending far, far less time in bed now so I believe I should bring you some other basic things. I insist it's not right that you have to keep on wearing my clothes. I'm thinking you'll need shoes, a couple denims, cardigans, some blouses…"

"Tops!"

"Shoes, denims, cardigans, tops, one or two skirts…"

"Short skirts!"

"Short skirts? Aren't you always cold? So cold that you use me constantly as your personal portable radiator?"

"I love to do that... How about short skirts -and- knitted stockings? The ones with many rings of different colors?"

"Short skirts and colorful knitted stockings, very fashionable if you are a witch on an American film. Oh, and unmentionables."

"Unmentionables?"

"Knickers."

"Unmentionables!"

"You'll wet yourself if you laugh like that for much longer."

"Unmentionables!"

"Hrm…"

"Unmentionable knickers!"

"Remember you are wearing my boxers and I'd like them to stay dry."