10
Morality Play
It was all Rastaban's fault. Harry would have chosen him if it weren't for him. Obviously, Harry would do the seemingly right thing, the more convenient thing by sticking to his ideals even if it does not make him happy. Morality is such an onerous concept, Draco thought to himself. It is never clearly this or that, yet people treat it like it is the truth. Sure, morality should have at least an imbedded consistency to it, but is never to be categorized as true or false. It is neither true nor false, but rather, a question of convenience. It is easy to hide oneself in the guise of moral conduct; by doing the "right" thing you make yourself believe that you are better than others, more ethical, more just, and more honorable. Thus putting your self in a place of moral ascendancy.
All of morality is self-serving, the goal of doing the so-called right thing is secure one's place in the social realm. The more right you are, the better person you become. He resented the idea that morality is about doing what is right according to social norms – morality is about doing what makes one happy. Happiness should be the goal of morality, not factuality. He lived his life knowing that as long as you are happy, you are doing what is moral, even at the expense of other people's happiness.
Draco was so hurt. Harry did not choose him and that made him question himself. He felt like he wasn't good enough for Harry. So many emotions are swelling from within, so many questions keep popping inside his head. One more minute and he is sure to have a breakdown. But Malfoys do not have breakdowns. A Malfoy is resilient, tenacious, and proud. He is to preserve himself at all costs and strive to protect his appearance. But this Malfoy has nothing left that matters – he was alone and unloved. And for the first time in his existence, he questioned his moral standards. After much mulling, he pulled out a parchment and a quill and started writing. He called for his butler and ordered him to send the letter to Harry via owl.
Harry was awoken by the sound of the tapping of an owl on his window. He looked at the clock atop his bedside table. 6:30 am. What could be so urgent that a person owled him at 6:30 in the morning. He dragged himself off the bed and retrieved the letter tied to the owl's leg, patted it, and opened the letter. His eyes went wide and panicked. He tried reaching out for Rastaban but he already left earlier. He firecalled Hermione and Ron.
"Mate, what happened?" Ron said as he was emerging from the fireplace, a haphazard and unsettled Hermione behind him.
"This." Harry said and he dropped the letter. Hermione grabbed it and read. She went pale. "Oh dear! Harry! Do you think he will really do it?" her head was shaking and she was obviously trembling. Harry just gave her an I-am-not-sure-either look.
"Do what? Give me that bloody letter." Ron said and snatched the letter from Hermione.
Dear Harry,
I love you. I've always loved you. There is no forgiveness for what I've done. I do hope that in time you shall heal, and maybe I shall be forgiven.
Don't forget me. Remember me, always, in your heart even not as your lover but as your friend.
This is my final goodbye. I reckon over there, life may be better.
With much love, Draco
"Has he gone mental! Is he really, going to… you know… kill himself?" Ron asked. Harry just stood there, still fazed by the situation. "Harry, you better go to him now."
"What?" Harry asked.
"I mean. He's Draco and all. He's a right bastard for leaving you then. But no one should die like this. Harry, you should go to him and put a stop to his madness."
Harry just stood there, looking at the floor, his hands clutched and his body shaking.
"I completely agree." Hermione said. Harry and Ron simultaneously looked at her. "Ron's right. He may be Draco, but you loved him nevertheless. You go to him now and tell us later why on earth it had to come to this." She said while pushing Harry out of the door. "Harry, you're the only that can save him now. I just hope we're not too late."
Harry apparated in front of the hotel where Draco was staying. He was still wearing his pajamas, not giving a care at how chilly it was. He ran towards the reception area and demanded for an access at Draco's suite. "He needs me! Look he sent me a letter and I'm afraid that if I don't go there now it might be too late!" He shouted.
"But sir… I just can't let you in his room…" the receptionist said.
"This is stupid! I'm going there anyway." Harry bellowed. He went up to the topmost suite, sweaty and panting He swung opened the door and saw Draco lying on the floor, surrounded by empty bottles of different alcoholic beverages, his wand lying near his seemingly wanton body.
"No! No!" Harry cried out and went immediately to Draco. "Draco! Draco wake-up!" He shook Draco's body over and over again. He was now flustered in tears and crying out loud. "I'm too late. Draco I'm sorry. I choose you. I love you. Please don't go like this."
At that moment, Draco opened his eyes. "Stop shaking me, you idiot. And stop shouting. My head's all topsy-turvy. And goodness, is this snot?" He said as he was examining the liquid on his cheek. He pushed away from Harry's embrace and gave him a questioning look.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
Harry looked like he just saw the fright of his life. He smiled and laughed and hugged Draco. "You're alive! You're alive! I though I lost you forever."
"I am alive, obviously. What made you say that?"
"The letter… this morning… I thought you were going to kill yourself."
"Dear me. I sent that letter to inform you that I'm going back to America. And I'm not daft, I wouldn't kill myself over a rejection." Draco huffed.
"Draco. About that time…"
"Just leave. Won't your boyfriend be looking for you now."
"He's not here."
"Oh."
"He's touring." Harry crept in closer at Draco and rest the blond's head on his shoulder. "Draco. I… I…" he cupped Draco's chin and pulled him in for a kiss. "I choose you."